2964: Olympic Sports

2024-07-29T07:28:30Z

Pvanheus: Add mention of Eric Moussambani to the discussion on swimming

{{comic
| number = 2964
| date = July 26, 2024
| title = Olympic Sports
| image = olympic_sports_2x.png
| imagesize = 553x328px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Thankfully for everyone involved, the Winter Olympics officials spotted me and managed to stop me before I got to the ski jump.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A VERY CONCERNED OLYMPIC OFFICIAL - Provide an explanation of each sport for the convenience of those unfamiliar with some or all listed sports. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic was officially published on the day of the opening ceremony of the {{w|2024 Summer Olympics|2024 Paris (Summer) Olympics}}, though it actually appeared early the following day.

In this comic, [[Randall]], who has no athletic training, imagines himself participating in various Olympic events, with his degrees of failure measured in terms of their humor potential.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Olympic sports ranked by how funny it would be if a regular person competed
! How funny !! Sport !! Reason !! Depiction
|-
|rowspan=5| Not that funny || {{w|Rowing}} - One or more people row a boat to a destination.|| The person would struggle to row effectively, falling out of cadence and fouling the oars of the other rowers in their boat. ||
|-
| {{w|Fencing}} - Two contestants attempt to land hits on each other with a long fencing weapon.|| They might fail to land any hits, but it wouldn't be overly humorous. ||
|-
| {{w|Weightlifting}} || They might just fail to lift the weights. ||
|-
| {{w|Golf}} - Contestants attempt to hit, with golf clubs, a golf ball into one or more holes in as small a number of hits as possible.|| They would likely miss the ball or hit poorly. || The illustration depicts Randall missing the hole at very close range.
|-
| {{w|Archery}} - Using a bow and arrow, contestants attempt to hit a target with as much accuracy as possible.|| Arrows might miss the target, but it's not particularly amusing. || Randall misses all his shots on the target.
|-
|rowspan=5| Pretty funny || {{w|Swimming}} - Contestants swim to a destination or complete laps as fast as possible.|| They might struggle to stay afloat or [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Moussambani swim awkwardly]. ||
|-
| {{w|Long jump}} - Contestants, with a running start, attempt to jump as far as possible.|| They would likely make a very short jump. ||
|-
| {{w|Pole vault}} - Using a bendable pole, contestants attempt to propel (vault) themselves over a bar.|| They would miss the plant and end up dropping the pole and running under the bar. ||
|-
| {{w|Diving}} - Contestants attempt to fulfill multiple criteria while diving into water.|| Awkward or painful-looking dives could ensue. ||
|-
| {{w|Hurdles}} - Contestants run on a track with hurdles positioned at various places.|| They might trip and fall over the hurdles. || Randall repeatedly and painfully runs into the hurdles, unable to jump over any of them. He appears to be holding a hand on his head, possibly covering his eyes or due to having hurt his head.
|-
|rowspan=5| Incredibly funny || {{w|Figure skating}} || They might slip and fall continuously on the ice. ||
|-
| {{w|Horizontal bar}} - A horizontal bar is used to perform gymnastics.|| They might fail to perform any flips or fall off the bar. ||
|-
| {{w|Equestrian sports}} - Various activities involving the use of horses.|| They might struggle to control the horse or fall off. || Randall is completely unable to control his horse. He is in the process of falling off and is flailing his arms.
|-
| {{w|Freestyle BMX}} - Contestants ride BMX bikes and perform various tricks, and are then judged by trick quality.|| They might crash or fail to perform tricks. ||
|-
| {{w|Pommel horse}} - Using a gymnastic device somewhat similar to a horse, gymnasts perform various tricks.|| They might awkwardly flop around or fall off. || Randall is attempting to perform a routine but clearly is not very graceful, balanced or typically dynamic, as made apparent by the rather basic agitrons surrounding him.
|}

The title text may be a reference to ski jumper {{w|Vinko Bogataj}}, whose spectacular crash at a (non-Olympic) ski flying event in 1970 in Oberstdorf, (then) West Germany became emblematic of the expression "the agony of defeat" in the opening narration of the popular US television program "{{w|Wide World of Sports (American TV program)|Wide World of Sports}}". Alternatively the reference may be to {{w|Eddie the Eagle}}, whose poor performance at the {{w|1988 Winter Olympics}} led to the introduction of the top 50 or 30% qualifying rule.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Header above three panels:]
:Olympic Sports ranked by how funny it would be if I, a regular person without athletic training, snuck onto the team to compete:
:[Three panels are shown with a header, a bullet list with five listed sports in each, and one or two depictions of sports.]

:Not that funny
:Rowing
:Fencing
:Weightlifting
:Golf
:Archery
:[Cueball putts a ball with a golf club and misses the hole.]
:[Cueball is aiming with a bow. Three arrows are on the ground at various distances from the target.]

:Pretty funny
:Swimming
:Long jump
:Pole vault
:Diving
:Hurdles
:[Cueball runs stomach-first into a hurdle, while holding a hand on his head. Another hurdle behind him has fallen down.]
:Cueball: [Bonk] Ow! [Bonk] Ow!

:Incredibly funny
:Figure skating
:Horizontal bar
:Equestrian
:BMX freestyle
:Pommel horse
:[Cueball tries to balance himself on a pommel horse. His both hands and one leg are down, while the other leg is slightly raised.]
:Cueball: Look! Look!
:[A horse rider wearing a black helmet is struggling to maintain balance on the running horse, with both hands and one leg raised.]
:Horse rider with black helmet: AAAAA!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sport]]

explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2964: Olympic Sports