explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1975: Right Click

2025-04-10T03:47:11Z

SkiesShaper: Added more spell descriptions

{{comic
| number = 1975
| date = April 1, 2018
| title = Right Click
| image = right_click.png
| titletext = Right-click or long press (where supported) to save!
}}
{{TOC}}To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the {{xkcd|1975|original comic}}.

==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|Need to finish explaining [[#Link Spells|the spells]] (second half of the table).

Also, improve the caption for the image on the right.}}
[[File:right click save.png|thumb|right|550px|This is the image that the save button downloads]]
This was the eighth [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous one was [[1663: Garden]], scheduled for released Friday, April 1st, 2016, but in the end released on [[1663:_Garden#Monday_4th_of_April_release|Monday April 4th]] 2016, two years prior to the release of this comic. The next was [[2131: Emojidome]] released on Monday, April 1st, 2019.

This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the fourth comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fool joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2nd. The next comic, [[1976: Friendly Questions]], was first released on Wednesday, April 4th. At first, the comic seems like the most simplistic xkcd comic possible - [[Cueball]] standing and doing nothing. The "editor's note" tells you to save a copy of the image to "view the full comic".

To save an image from a browser most people would right-click on it (or long-click in mobile devices) which normally leads to a "context menu" allowing several actions related to the image, including saving/downloading. This is what you are encouraged to do by the editorial note as well as by the comic name and title text. However, the context menu opened is not the default context menu of the browser but an elaborate context menu containing many nonsensical options.

At first it also seems impossible to save the image using that menu. However, after exploring the context menu you can find an "easter egg" in one of two different places (see below) which unlocks the save option. This save option gives you a different [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png image] than the one you see, which can be thought of as "the full comic" although the meat of the comic is actually in the interactive context menu itself. Note that "cheating" by disabling JavaScript and other methods that allow you to directly save the image won't get you that "full comic" image.

This comic pokes fun at how hard it can be to save an image or to just navigate context menus in some computer programs. The "easter egg hunt" might be related to the fact the comic was released during Easter (which fell on April fool's in 2018). It might also be related to the movie "Ready Player One" which was recently released when the comic was released. In the movie, based on the book by Cline, finding an "easter egg" in a VR world was a central plot point.

The title is reminiscent of one of the first interactive comics [[1110: Click and Drag]], where the title explains what the user should do to experience it. However, that was not a fools' day comic.

The comic uses {{w|JavaScript}} and {{w|HTML5}} to override the standard context menu. Since modern browsers use the same features to integrate Add-ons into that menu, the behavior may be different depending on the browser environment. Browsers with JavaScript disabled, either totally or by using {{w|NoScript}}, won't access the functionality of the comic, but of course can easily save the image (not "the full version" but the image that is seen initially).
<div style="clear: both"></div>

==Context menu==
===Main Context Menu===
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable sortable"
! # !! Menu item !! Explanation !! Sub-menu items
|-
!1
| '''Save'''
| Only appears after getting one of the two easter eggs that can be found in the menu - in the games ADVENT.EXE and Mornington Crescent (see their explanations below).
| Save image> Views the image the first time you click, then downloads this image on every visit after that. [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png]. The image includes a spheroid object near the top right-hand corner which appears to exhibit red shift and green shift, suggesting that it is rotating rapidly.

|-
! 2
| '''File'''
| Normal submenu
|Close: Closes menu, does nothing.
Open: A:\, C:\, / (See more [[#Filesystems Menu|below]])

Find: Where, When, How, (grayed out) What, (grayed out) Why, Who.

'Where' leads to four options. The first, 'computer', has two options ('folder' and 'menus'), which link back to the 'find' and right-click menus, respectively. "Narnia" leads to a link to the comic [[665: Prudence]] as well as to a grey comment about how it's weird that "they" have to die to go back to Narnia.
"Canada" and "America" lead to the same set of bizarre menus (America leads into Canada's menu), which then give the options 'Upper' and 'Lower', ultimately leading to a drive-through and hockey, respectively.

'When' leads to a description of Siri entering someone's home, and the menu can be followed to reveal several further events from 'earlier' in the day. The last one ('a bottle of jack and a toothbrush') is likely a reference to the song 'Tik Tok' by Kesha.

'How' simply leads to an exclamation of 'How!?'.

'What' is grayed out.

'Why' links to [http://itisamystery.com/], ''technically'' answering the question of "Why?"

'Who' leads to a menu version of the Abbot and Costello "Who's on First?" routine, which eventually links to a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTcRRaXV-fg&feature=youtu.be youtube video] of the routine. As of April 4th, a second submenu has been added, which contains Slappy and Skippy's "Who's on Stage?" parody of the previous routine, which also eventually leads to its [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mdqv5xIsFLM youtube video].

Backup: Causes the area around the comic to flash red 9 times, with high-pitch sounds reminiscent of a truck backing up. Reminiscent of the Sinclair Spectrum SAVE to tape command, which would flash the border and modulate the speaker.

Save: Only available after the save menu is unlocked after one of the two Easter Eggs is found, allows a download of a bonus comic, same as clicking the save option from the main menu.

|-
! 3
| '''Edit'''
| Enables a mode allowing the user to draw on the webpage. You can draw multiple scribbles, however, they will automatically connect together. Pressing Esc asks "Aw, that looks nice though. Really delete?" and the page returns to normal if OK is clicked.
| None
|-
! 4
| '''System'''
| Normal submenu
|Shut Down> Changes the only menu option to "Power on", then once that is used, the system returns to normal.

/ (See [[#Table - Filesystems Menu|below]])
|-
! 5
| '''View'''
| Normal submenu
|Cascade>Links to [http://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/Mt._St._Helens,_Washington]

Tile> Links to [[245: Floor Tiles]]

Minimize> Changes pointer to a smaller pointer.

Full Screen> Enters full screen.
|-
! 6
| '''Utilities'''
| Normal submenu
|Park drives> Nothing.

Check space usage> (cannot click) Space usage: -Dark matter -Hydrogen -Helium -Scattered clumps of heavier elements -Stars -Rocks -Some space probes -Earth

Spell check> English (links to [[1069: Alphabet]]) and Colors (links to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/])

Train AI> links to [[1838: Machine Learning]]

Identify song> opens a long word-by-word menu for song lyrics; it's actually a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]].

Advanced> several Unix commands, all absurd (or dangerous) for some reason:
* <code>apt-get install /dev/null</code>: <code>apt-get</code> is the standard package manager used in Debian-derived Linux distributions (including Ubuntu); it is normally used to install software; <code>/dev/null</code> is the "bit-bucket" device on any Unix system, which can be used as a dummy output file to discard output or as a dummy empty input file. This command would attempt to install <code>/dev/null</code> (which is a device, not a package!) or, more correctly, would try to install a package reading its data from <code>/dev/null</code> (if <code>apt-get</code> is given a file name it tries to interpret it as a .deb package), which is obviously impossible.
* <code>brew install apt-get</code>: <code>brew</code> is a third-party package manager for macOS; it is generally used to install "missing" open-source utilities on a macOS system; the command is attempting to install the aforementioned <code>apt-get</code>, which is both impossible (<code>apt-get</code> doesn't run on macOS) and hilariously recursive (did you install a package manager - brew - to install another one?). Even if this were possible, the package would have been called <code>apt</code>, as apt-get is only one of the commands in the package manager.
* <code>/usr/local/bin/wine xen-hypervisor.exe</code>: <code>wine</code> is a compatibility layer used to run Windows executables on Linux (and on macOS); the fact that it is in <code>/usr/local</code> hints that it has been manually compiled on this machine; Xen is a Linux-based hypervisor, i.e. a software used to run and manage virtual machines over a Linux host, but the .exe suffix here hints that it is a Windows executable. The command would try to launch a Windows build of a Linux-based virtual machine manager on a Unix machine through a Windows emulation layer (wine).
* <code>source .bash_history</code>: the <code>source</code> shell command reads the file that is given as argument and executes each of its rows as a command in the current shell, roughly as if you typed them in; <code>.bash_history</code> (located in the user home directory) is the file where the bash shell saves the history of the commands that have been run. This command would re-run all the commands that have been typed in the shell.
* <code>rm -rf $DIRECTROY/*</code>: <code>rm -rf</code> deletes recursively and forcefully the paths it is given as arguments; <code>$DIRECTROY</code> is a shell variable, probably containing some directory that whoever typed in this command wanted to clean; however, it is misspelled (it says <code>$DIRECTROY</code>, not <code>$DIRECTORY</code>), and, due to how POSIX shell work, it is thus expanded to an empty string; so, the command becomes <code>rm -rf /*</code>, which deletes all the files and directories in the root of the disk, effectively killing the system instead of just deleting the content of some directory. Notice that this particular misspell manages to circumvent the builtin protection of many <code>rm</code> versions, which refuse to do a plain <code>rm -rf /</code>, as <code>/*</code> gets expanded by the shell, so <code>rm</code> never has the chance to see explicitly that you are killing all the data in the root directory.
* <code>:(){:|:&};:</code>: this is [https://askubuntu.com/q/159491/208527 a classic shell fork bomb], i.e. a small program that keeps launching copies of itself until all resources have been exhausted or the user somehow manages to kill all its copies.
* <code>echo "source .bashrc" >> .bashrc</code>: <code>.bashrc</code> is a file that gets executed whenever the <code>bash</code> shell is started in interactive mode; this command appends the string <code>source .bashrc</code> to it, which effectively executes it again recursively; this would pretty much make it impossible to open an interactive shell when launching it with the default parameters.
* <code>alias gcc=php</code>: the <code>alias</code> shell builtin create an alias for another command; <code>gcc</code> is the GNU C compiler driver, which is used to compile programs written in the C language; <code>php</code> is the command-line interpreter for the PHP language. This line creates an alias such that when typing <code>gcc</code>, <code>php</code> is actually invoked, which would generate completely absurd error messages. This is doubly devious, as PHP isn't generally held in high esteem by large part of the programming community (especially by someone writing stuff in C).

* <code>'); DROP TABLE Menus;--</code> links to [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]
|-
! 7
| '''Games'''
| Normal submenu
| Twenty Questions> A Twenty Questions interface that gets really confusing. There are links to Bing image searches for '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=okapi&FORM=HDRSC2 okapi]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=pronghorn&FORM=HDRSC2 pronghorn]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=eland&FORM=HDRSC2 eland]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=baribusa&FORM=HDRSC2 baribusa]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=musk%20deer&FORM=HDRSC2 musk deer]' and '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=ibex&FORM=HDRSC2 ibex]'. The game also contains some extremely large cans of creamed corn (a reference to [[1807: Listening]]).

Rock Paper Scissors> A Rock Paper Scissors game where the computer always matches your move. If you go long enough, the Defect option is added, a reference to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner%27s_dilemma Prisoner's Dilemma].

D&D> An interface that allows you to "cast" over 300 spells from {{W|Dungeons_&_Dragons|D&D}} 5e. Several menus are used to filter the spells based on their traits: class which can learn the spell, the school of the spell, the spell level, and components required to perform it (somatic, vocal, material). The traits can be chosen in any order. After all six traits are chosen a submenu opens with all of the spells that match those exact traits (which might be no spells at all).

Most spells link to various pages, including xkcd comics (e.g. [[1331: Frequency]]), what-ifs (e.g. {{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}) and other external sites (e.g. [https://www.nasa.gov/sun The Sun | NASA]). Some spells create effects that change the comic page temporarily or permanently, and some open submenus from different parts of the context menu.

See [[#D&D spells|below]] for all links and effects.

ADVENT.EXE> A text-based adventure game. If played correctly, you can win, unlocking 'Save'>'Save image' from the beginning menu, which links to [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png].

The first scene allows you a choice between exploring a dark cave or a castle. If you explore the cave first you get the following description: "It's pitch black. You're likely to be eaten by a grue". This is a reference to a text adventure game called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zork Zork], where [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_(monster) Grues] are monsters who dwell in the dark and eat human explorers, making it impossible to explore dark areas. The same description often appears when you enter a dark area without a light source in Zork and other related games. This has previously been mentionned in [[91: Pwned]].

If you ignore the warning and go deeper, you are given one more warning ("You're deep in a cave. Something, possibly this very sentence, tells you it would be dangerous to go any further"). If you ignore that too and keep going, you fall into a pit. Several options are given to try and rescue yourself (or alternatively "resign to your fate" or deny you are in a pit [You also may try to cause a distraction by saying "Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!" This may be a reference to the Curse of Monkey Island, where Guybrush Threepwood distracts characters by saying the same line.]) but all lead to "you've been eaten by a grue". Being eaten by a grue seems to be an irreversible condition - if you exit the context menu and enter ADVENT.EXE again, you are given no options and are told again that "you've been eaten by a grue". Apparently only refreshing the page cancels that.

Exploring the castle is a much safer option to begin with. The main castle scene has a door, a well, and stairs that go up to the tower. The door is locked, and trying to break it is futile.

The well is a wishing well. Examining it allows for several options:
* Examine the sign - it reads "Dark! Narrow! Scary! Well of Three Features". This is a reference to [https://zeldawiki.wiki/wiki/Bottom_of_the_Well the well of three features] from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
* Wish for... - this one has a lot of options, some of which are links to comics or What If pages and some lead to further submenus:
** World peace - leads to the answer "I'm just a well, can you scale it down a bit?" and then back to the well menu; this option is from now changed to "Inner peace", which gives "A feeling of calm washes over you." and "Ommmmmm...", which also goes back to the well menu
** More wishes - leads back to the "Wish for..." menu. The idea of using a wish to wish for more wishes is common when discussing things with wish-granting powers and was previously mentioned in [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]].
** Fewer wishes - Tell you "Really? Okay.." (as this is not something most people would ask for{{Citation needed}}). If you continue you return to the "Examine well" menu. If you want to make a wish again (even after exiting the menu and coming back again) you can only wish for "more wishes" and then you can continue wishing normally.
** Happiness - links to [[572: Together]], a comic about getting "happiness" as a scavenger hunt item.
** Luck - links to [[1053: Ten Thousand]] which refers to hearing about commonly known things for the first time as being one of "today's lucky 10,000".
** Wisdom - You hear a voice whisper 'N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W'. This is a clue for later.
** Wealth - Links to the what if article {{what if|111|All the Money}}, which might explain what will happen if the wishing well "overgrants" your wish.
** A human-sized hamster ball - links to [[152: Hamster Ball]] where [[Cueball]] wishes for the same thing.
** A map of everything - links to [[1196: Subways]], a map of the subways of North America, which are apparently "everything" for Americans.
** True love - links to {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}.
** A kitty! - links to [[231: Cat Proximity]], a comic detailing the effect of cats on humans.
* Jump in - Allows you to swim (and later "just keep swimming..." indefinitely) or climb out and return to the "Examine well" menu.
* Pull up the bucket - "You reel in the bucket. There's something shiny in the bottom". If you examine the bucket you get a key!

After you have the key, if you go back to the castle you can now use the key on the locked door and enter a dungeon. In the dungeon, there is a clamp on a table that you can take.

Finally, in the tower, you can find a "strange machine" dubbed a "C-Remover". You can try to use the C-Remover on any item you got. It doesn't affect the key, but it does turn the clamp into a lamp! The C-remover is a reference to either the T-remover from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_Goddesses_of_Phobos Leather Goddess of Phobos] or the multi-letter remover from [http://emshort.com/counterfeit_monkey/ Counterfeit Monkey], a text adventure by Emily Short inspired by it.

After you have the lamp, entering the cave becomes safer. It now becomes "a maze of twisty passages, all alike" where each room allows going N, E, S, or W, normally leading to an identical room. Only by using the clue from the wish for "wisdom" in the well and going N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W you can navigate the maze successfully. When following that path, after the first "W" the options become N, S, and Dennis instead of the usual N, E, S, W; this is a reference to the text-based game [http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Thy_Dungeonman Thy Dungeonman] found in a Strong Bad email from [http://homestarrunner.com homestarrunner.com].

If you follow the full path you find the center of the maze where there is a nest with a "large multicolored egg" (an easter egg!). If you take the egg you are told "You feel a sense of potential, as if you may have more options now". This is because the "save" options are now unlocked in the main context menu and the file menu!

Hoverboard> Links to [[1608: Hoverboard]] browser game.

Mornington Crescent> This is a simulation of the well-known game {{W|Mornington_Crescent_(game)|Mornington Crescent}}, which bears a surprising resemblance to {{W|London_Underground|London's Underground}} railway network. Players name a station, in turn, endeavoring to reach Mornington Crescent. The rules of play are very complicated and beyond the scope of this article; interested persons are referred to ''N. F. Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins'' (sadly out of print). This variation only includes the sections of the London Underground in fare zone 1. There is a "station" only connected to Vauxhall called "Easter basket". The Easter basket leads you to "Take egg", also allowing you to save. The shortest path to the Easter basket is Euston > Warren Street > Oxford Circus > Green Park > Victoria > Pimlico > Vauxhall > Easter basket, simply following the Victoria Line the entire way. All playable stations are immediately adjacent on the London Underground network to the station last played. Despite the fact that this version of the game starts at Euston, which is adjacent to Mornington Crescent, as Mornington Crescent is in fare zone 2, the branch of the {{W|Northern_line|Northern line}} on which the {{W|Mornington_Crescent_tube_station|eponymous station}} is situated does not appear in the game and Mornington Crescent is not an objective.
|-
! 8
| '''Help'''
| Contains various submenus, all of which, barring Credits, loop back recursively to this menu:
|Tutorial
Support

Manual

Troubleshooting

FAQ

Guide

Q&A

User forums

--------------

Credits> 'Some people who helped with this comic:
[http://chromakode.com/ @chromakode]
[https://twitter.com/aiiane Amber]
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest @fadinginterest]
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat]
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin]
[http://90d.ca/ Stereo]'
|-
! 9
| '''Do Crimes'''
| Contains several "crimes" that can be committed. This option is unlocked by File > Open > C:\ (or /home/user) > Bookmarks/ > Secret > Enable Dark Web.
This is a joke about how the dark web is perceived in popular culture - a place that exists solely to do crimes, mainly bitcoin and hacking related.
| Steal Bitcoins > Grayed out.
Say swears > Several clean swears that all link to [[771: Period Speech]].

Hack > Three sub-options that link to various related comics. (Gibson: Nothing. Election: [[1019: First Post]]. Planet: [[1337: Hack]].)

Forge a Scrabble Tile > Several sub-options that don't do anything. (U, Z, <this menu option intentionally left blank>, and two special characters, one being a Russian 'Э', as low-pitched [eh], and the second being a crossed swords emoji (⚔)
|}

====Filesystems Menu====

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Drive !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
! A:\
| '''Insert'''
| Only appears before inserting a floppy disk.
|Floppy disk> Unlocks other options for drive A:\, which are identical to drive C:\
Chip card> A long sequence of being told 'Please wait. Authorizing...' ending in 'Chip error! REMOVE CARD NOW!'
|-
! C:\
| '''Documents/'''
| Nothing.
| None.
|-
! C:\
| '''Music/'''
| Leads to a long string of prompts for song lyrics. 'Hey now / Hey now na now / Sing "This Corrosion" to me' inverts the webpage's color before Easter egg mode is enabled, and plays the referenced song in the browser with inverted color and flashing if the Easter egg mode is enabled. It's actually the same menu that is shown under Utilities>Identify song (which itself is a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]]).
| 'Hey now / Hey now / Don't dream it's over' links to [[240: Dream Girl]]. 'This / is / a / story all about how / my life got flipped, turned upside down' links to [[464: RBA]]. 'This / is / the / story of a girl / who cried a river and drowned the whole world' links to a Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_FVAEYRM5I
|-
! C:\
| '''Bookmarks/'''
| Similar to Music/, Bookmarks/> Comics leads to a chain from which all comics prior to this comic except [[1974: Conversational Dynamics]] are titled and linked. For instance, he thus here recognizes his first April Fools' comic [[404: Not Found]], which cannot be found, as a real comic by linking to it. Bookmarks/> Secret> Enable Dark Web adds the 'Dark Web' option to the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Games/'''
| Same as 'Games' from the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Sequences/'''
| The options are the lines from a ''Tim and Eric'' sketch [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/celery-man Celery Man]; the final option links to a YouTube video of the sketch.
| After several single-option menus, it links to this Youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHWBEK8w_YY
|-
! /
| '''home/'''
| Nothing.
| guest> links to http://uni.xkcd.com/ - a command-line Unix-style interface for viewing xkcd comics (and other commands to discover) that was used as the April Fool's joke in 2010. See also the comic [[unixkcd]].

user> Same files as C:\

root> Displays 'You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.' a refrence to [[838: Incident]] and also what the sudo command will print if unauthorized users try to use it.
|-
! /
| '''opt/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''sbin/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''usr/'''
| Opens an infinite sequence of options, each similar to the last, but replacing the previous selection with another folder; probably a reference to the fact that [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/usr.html the /usr hierarchy] does contain a list of subdirectories pretty much identical [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/the-root-directory.html to those of the root directory]. /usr/local, too is a duplicate of /usr for files not originating with the distro, and of late /var and /opt have also started expanding.
|-
! /
| '''dev/'''
| Nothing.
|random/> links to a random xkcd comic. In unix systems reading from the /dev/random file generates pseudorandom bytes, so it fits here that /dev/random gives a random comic.
urandom/> links to [[221: Random Number]]. In unix systems, /dev/urandom is the same as /dev/random, except in /dev/random you don't get anything if you don't have sufficient "randomness" in the system, and in /dev/urandom you get whatever you have. The linked comic describes a botched attempt to create a function that would return a truly random number but actually, it returns a fixed number (and thus isn't useful at all). This alludes to /dev/urandom providing bad results sometimes.
|}

====D&D spells====
Here all the spells from the D&D game are detailed, including the traits you need to enter to get to them and the link they lead to/effect they create.

To get to a specific spell using this table you need to go to games->d&d->cast and then enter the traits - level, class, school, and components - in any order. Note that many spells list more than one class in the table (in d&d it means multiple classes can cast that spell), which means you need to choose one of those classes in the menu. Components are listed in the table as V for Verbal Components, S for Somatic Components and M for Material Components - choose "yes" or "no" for these based on whether the matching letter is there or not.

=====Link Spells=====
The vast majority of spells (285 of them apparently) are actually links to xkcd comics, what ifs, or external pages that somehow demonstrate or relate to the spell.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Link !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Arrow
| 2
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/790/
| The comic is about giving LSD (commonly known as "acid") to test subjects
|-
! Aid
| 2
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://donorschoose.org
| A site dedicated to donations - aiding various subjects
|-
! Alarm
| 1
| Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1359/
| Comic about phone alarm
|-
! Alter Self
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1099/
| In this comic beret guy is "altered" in a weird way
|-
! Animal Friendship
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1746/
| Comic about making friends in a way that might attract some animals better than humans
|-
! Animal Messenger
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://twitter.com/dog_rates
| A humorous Twitter page about "rating dogs" - in a way "messaging about" animals
|-
! Animal Shapes
| 8
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1278/
| Comic about using genetic engineering to change an animal (in this case a giraffe) shape
|-
! Animate Dead
| 3
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=62
| They were once dead.
|-
! Arcane Eye
| 4
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/993/
| The comic is related to creating a brand by having products that "stand out" and are therefore "more visible"
|-
! Astral Projection
| 9
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/977/
| Comic about map projections
|-
! Augury
| 2
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1334/
| The comic is about checking the second page of google results for answers, which might be parallelized to reading omens in the spell.
|-
! Awaken
| 5
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1518/
| Comic about awakening... badly to an alarm sound
|-
! Bane
| 1
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/972/
| The comic details a simple exploit by blackhat, the bane of everyone's existence
|-
! Barkskin
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qFI4BQlBbig
| A video by "My Brother, My Brother and Me" where a person creates a "shitty iron man armor", parallel to the armor created by barkskin
|-
! Beacon of Hope
| 3
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Svalbard_Global_Seed_Vault
| Link to the wikipedia page about the global seed vault, which is meant to function as "a beacon of hope" in case of global disaster.
|-
! Bestow Curse
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/214/
| The comic talks about "the problem of wikipedia" which can be time-waster to curious people. This can also be rephrased as "the curse of wikipedia"
|-
! Black Tentacles
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1926/
| The comic is about an "ugly mess of code" which can be compared to a tentacle mess
|-
! Blade Barrier
| 6
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1406/
| The comic is about a "universal converted" which can be thought of as a kind of barrier
|-
! Bless
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/55/
| A what if article about saying "bless you" to random people on the phone, hoping they just sneezed
|-
! Blight
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1807/
| Another exploit by black hat
|-
! Blindness/Deafness
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V
| https://xkcd.com/467/
| Comic related to "two girls one cup", a well-known shock video which might make people wish they were blind after seeing it
|-
! Branding Smite
| 2
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/384/
| (Can thunder make intelligent?)
|-
! Burning Hands
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1296/
| Git messages become increasingly similar to a person on fire typing them and also relate to haaaannds
|-
! Call Lightning
| 3
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/
| A what if with several lightning-related questions
|-
! Calm Emotions
| 2
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://twitter.com/CuteEmergency
| Twitter page about cute dogs that might indeed calm your emotions
|-
! Chain Lightning
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/898/
| Comic about the chain of command
|-
! Charm Person
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1777/
| Comic about the Nigerian Scan, which can be thought of as a way to "charm" people into doing what you want (like other scams)
|-
! Chill Touch
| 0
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1108/
| Comic about a cautionary ghost, similar to the ghostly hand the spell creates
|-
! Circle of Death
| 6
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1674/
| Comic about doing "adult stuff" including writing a will
|-
! Clairvoyance
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1421/
| Comic about discovering a creepily clairvoyant comment from your "past self" in your code
|-
! Clone
| 8
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1597/
| Comic about git - "clone" is a common git command.
|-
! Buttkill
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/8/
| Human crowd
|-
! Color Spray
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1882/
| Comic about color
|-
! Command
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/857/
| Comic about a man making a famous phrase by Archimedes into a command with an ultimatum
|-
! Commune
| 5
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7yxaKeRRypo?t=44s
| Tried to snipe but turned into laughs
|-
! Commune with Nature
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/BOxRFMiSDZU?t=9m47s
| Suddenly, Dino-Lansbury.
|-
! Comprehend Languages
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1816/
| Comic about language weirdness and puns
|-
! Compulsion
| 4
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/609/
| Comic about TVTropes, which might create a compulsion to follow links and stay there for a long time
|-
! Cone of Cold
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1714/
| Comic about volcanoes, which are actually cones of heat usually (the "waffle cone" volcano in the comic is probably cold)
|-
! Confusion
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1969/
| Comic presents a way to confuse people by setting to "not found" page of your site to a "not available in your country" page
|-
! Conjure Woodland Beings
| 4
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1903/
| Comic about "buns" (rabbits) which are woodland beings
|-
! Contact Other Plane
| 5
| Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1889/
| Comic from the "[[xkcd Phone]]" series. With all their features, surely xkcd phones can contact other planes...
|-
! Contagion
| 5
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1161/
| Comic about hand sanitizer, which is meant to prevent contagion, but maybe not as effectively as [[Cueball]] would like.
|-
! Contingency
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/140/
| Comic about how one gets cheese when they have chips and chips when they have cheese, a situation in which one condition triggers a contingency and vice versa.
|-
! Continual Flame
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy_Eternal_Flame
| Wikipedia about eternal (continual) flame
|-
! Control Water
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing
|-
! Control Weather
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1126/
| Comic about the weirdness of the weather in 2005
|-
! Create Food and Water
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1774/
| Comic about food in supermarkets
|-
! Create or Destroy Water
| 1
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing (Same as in "control water" - actually more fitting here)
|-
! Create Undead
| 6
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/69/
| What if about the dead users in Facebook who are compared to "undead" in a comic image at the start of the article
|-
! Creation
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_hH7vZF15SY
| "Monster Factory" episode which is a gameplay video of the game spore which is about the creation of a species and a civilization. "Creating" is also in the video title.
|-
! Cure Wounds
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1618/
| Comic about trying to cure a pretty bad cold
|-
! Dancing Lights
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1331/
| Comic that shows frequencies of different events in the form of blinking ("dancing") gifs ("lights")
|-
! Daylight
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/673/
| Comic about "daylight saving time"
|-
! Death Ward
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/865/
| In the comic IPv6 functions as a sort of "death ward" against nanobots, buying us some time before the total annihilation of life on earth.
|-
! Demiplane
| 8
| Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1703/
|
|-
! Detect Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/256/
| A map of internet communities, with the good and bad parts.
|-
! Detect Magic
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/808/
| An economic argument that "detects" what crazy "magic" phenomenon actually works and what doesn't.
|-
! Detect Poison and Disease
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/802/
| Updated version of "map of online communities" which was linked to from "detect good and evil", again suggesting that online communities are full of "poison and disease".
|-
! Detect Thoughts
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1448/
| A note asking someone about their thoughts (or feelings)
|-
! Disguise Self
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
| Comic about being an impostor and "disguising" yourself as an expert in a field.
|-
! Disintegrate
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/
| The very first what if, where a baseball is pitched at 90% of the speed of light and begins to disintegrate... In a nuclear explosion
|-
! Dispel Evil and Good
| 5
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/5/
| What-if about a contemporary robot apocalypse ("evil") and how to "dispel" it.
|-
! Dispel Magic
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/109/
| Comic about spoilers who "dispel the magic" of watching some movies.
|-
! Divination
| 4
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1525/
| xkcd's version of the magic 8 ball, a toy/tool for divination
|-
! Divine Favor
| 1
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1575/
| Comic parodying the Christian poem "footprints" which is about divine favor
|-
! Divine Word
| 7
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/741/
| Comic about content producing, some of which may be divine words
|-
! Dominate Beast
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
| Comic about excessive phone security settings that "dominate" the thief in a way
|-
! Dominate Monster
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/JgChfrBsEaI
| "Monster factory" episode about "creating the Shrek franchise" - which is about a monster - in spore.
|-
! Dominate Person
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1116/
| Comic about confusing traffic light which can "dominate" a person.
|-
! Dream
| 5
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/557/
| Comic about the common "not ready for school" dream
|-
! Druidcraft
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/867/
| Comic about branches of zoology - zoology can be thought of as "druidcraft"
|-
! Earthquake
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/08/24/earthquakes/
| Blog post about earthquakes
|-
! Eldritch Blast
| 0
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/356/
| Comic about "nerd sniping", an unconventional sort of "blast" for "hitting" nerds
|-
! Enhance Ability
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/YLg_aIlhe6I?t=23m33s
| "Monster factory" episode about the stars recreating themselves in a WWE videogame, in a way "enhancing their abilities"
|-
! Entangle
| 1
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/257/
| Comic about code encryption, which adds complexity similar to an entanglement
|-
! Enthrall
| 2
| Bard, Warlock
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1286/
| Comic about improperly encrypted passwords, similar to the "distracting string of words" in the spell description
|-
! Etherealness
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/644/
|
|-
! Expeditious Retreat
| 1
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/61/
| What-if about speed bumps
|-
! Eyebite
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1015/
| Comic about bad kerning, which is a "bite" to the eyes
|-
! Fabricate
| 4
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Another Monster Factory video, fabricating a character in Mass Effect
|
|-
! Faerie Fire
| 1
| Bard, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/151/
| What-If about fireflies
|-
! Faithful Hound
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1193/
| Comic that ends with a very large dog
|-
! False Life
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/8-3jDVTLdaQ
| Monster Factory video involving the game Second Life.
|-
! Fear
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1242/
| A chart comparing how scary things are
|-
! Feather Fall
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, M
| https://youtu.be/bWvyJ05TdC8?t=13m34s
| In this clip, the floor is removed, causing a lot of people to fall.
|-
! Feeblemind
| 8
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/574/
| A comic about misinformed people, who could be described as acting feeble-minded.
|-
! Find Familiar
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/413/
| Comic talking about a new pet (that is actually a computer). A familiar is an animal, similar to a pet, that serves a master, usually the magic user that summoned it.
|-
! Find Steed
| 2
| Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1651/
| After the events of the comic, you would have to sort through the pile of cars to find your own; Your car here being the "steed" of the spell.
|-
! Find the Path
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/887/
| This comic is a 'path' of a possible future
|-
! Find Traps
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1195/
| This comic itself is a trap!
|-
! Finger of Death
| 7
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/117/
| A What-If about death.
|-
! Fire Bolt
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/639/
| The rebuke by Stephen Douglas featured in this comic could be compared humorously to a bolt of fire
|-
! Fire Shield
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/video/details.php?id=1090
| Featured in this video is a discussion of the Curiosity rover's landing on mars - something that definitely requires being shielded from fire
|-
! Fire Storm
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ujADg0nWqCw?t=15m51s
| A discusion of Curiosity's landing gear, including its heat shield.
|-
! Flame Blade
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/961/
| Strangely, not used for Continual Flame, despite the title.
|-
! Flame Strike
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/J9hMe1R8eYw
|
|-
! Flaming Sphere
| 2
| Druid, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/673/
| This is a comic about the sun, which can be described as a flaming sphere.
|-
! Flesh to Stone
| 6
| Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://xkcd.com/1409/
| Might be a penis joke on the "hours since watching porn" query.
|-
! Floating Disk
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/50/
| What-If on boating. A boat can - generously - be described as a floating disk.
|-
! Fly
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/353/
| A comic where a Python user gains the power of flight.
|-
! Fog Butt
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| http://twitter.com/karlthefog
| The twitter account for a fog butt.
|-
! Forbiddance
| 6
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/782/
| A comic about breaking forbidden taboos and paying the consequences.
|-
! Forcecage
| 7
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1142/
| A Faraday cage could be described as a force-cage.
|-
! Foresight
| 9
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1876/
| A comic about using one's foresight to extrapolate trends.
|-
! Freedom of Movement
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/sCOwRahm0so?t=1m8s
| Jet boots and forging your own path both enable freedom of movement
|-
! Freezing Sphere
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/121/
| A What-If about freezing a lot of things at once.
|-
! Gaseous Form
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/146/
| This What-If is about Jupiter, a gas giant.
|-
! Geas
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1559/
| Geas gives the target a magical command that they must follow, a somewhat-common use of which is instructing someone to walk across a continent to get them out of the way.
|-
! Gentle Repose
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Wl_yf86n78?t=20m
|
|-
! Giant Insect
| 4
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/_1jGnFt78H8?t=25m32s
| Roachie is a radroach, a giant insect much like the kind that this spell creates.
|-
! Glibness
| 8
| Bard, Warlock
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/707/
| Glibness is both a spell that makes you more charismatic and the quality of being funny and insincere.
|-
! Globe of Invulnerability
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/153/
| This what-if refers to the earth's atmosphere, which provides the earth with a "globe of invulnerability" (up to an extent)
|-
! Glyph of Warding
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1247/
| The warning message in this comic functions as a way of warding off viruses, warning the user of possibile attacks.
|-
! Goodberry
| 1
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1035/
| Goodberry summons a magical berry with as much nutritional value as a full day's food, much in the way that a soda has as much sugar as two or three Cadbury eggs.
|-
! Grease
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/4/
| At the end of this what-if, the titular mole of moles is described as a planet constructed entirely of mole corpses - with its center breaking down into a mushy, greasy mass of moles.
|-
! Greater Invisibility
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/72/
| The loneliest human had no connection to anyone else at the time, making them functionally invisible to the world.
|-
! Greater Restoration
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/my-brother-my-brother-and-me
| This is an advice podcast, and the advice held herein which could arguably restore any number of things
|-
! Guardian of Faith
| 4
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
| The same comic as Dominate Beass. The security settings guard against thieves.
|-
! Guards and Wards
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1890/
| A guide to self-defense in specific situations.
|-
! Guidance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1028/
| A comic on communication and guiding others.
|-
! Guiding Bolt
| 1
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1160/
| Both a poster guiding people to join the trebuchet club, and the actual mechanism of aiming the trebuchet.
|-
! Gust of Wind
| 2
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1378/
| In this comic, a wind turbine is asked to create a Gust of Wind, but is unable to.
|-
! Hallow
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1677/
| PF2e tips: "Hallow-led" Background has Dubious knowledge skill feat, fail pulls a correct information and a misinformation.
|-
! Hallucinatory Terrain
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1472/
| This comic contains imagined terrain - much like the spell would create
|-
! Harm
| 6
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
| A comic where harm is caused to the patient by suggesting the heart is taken out and the ventricles are blown in
|-
! Haste
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1701/
| This comic, titled "Speed and Danger," discusses various things that are very fast, indeed describable as hasty (such as rockets and racecars)
|-
! Heal
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
| This comic contains a surgeon carrying out arguably unsafe medical practices
|-
! Healing Word
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://youtu.be/NYnldxUpYQQ
|
|-
! Heat Metal
| 2
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/35/
| This What If discusses a metal box that is being continually heated by a hair dryer.
|-
! Hellish Rebuke
| 1
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/327/
| The SQL injection featured in this comic would definitely be considered Hellish in terms of its consequences, and is certainly a rebuke to the school district who did not sanitize their data inputs.
|-
! Heroes' Feast
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_v1v0t8Q5xg?t=7m48s
|
|-
! Heroism
| 1
| Bard, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/326/
| Attempting to trip up amateur grammar nazis, as depicted in this comic, could certainly be considered a heroic act.
|-
! Hideous Laughter
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1974/
| a hideous amount of laughter would be an apt response to the hindsight of the statement presented in this comic
|-
! Hold Monster
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1604/
| In this comic, Megan is seen holding a snake that is very likely to be dangerous
|-
! Hold Person
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/540/
|
|-
! Holy Aura
| 8
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/145/
|
|-
! Hunter's Mark
| 1
| Ranger
| Divination
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/11/
|
|-
! Hypnotic Pattern
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/722/
|
|-
! Ice Storm
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
|
|-
! Identify
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/9/
|
|-
! Illusory Script
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1288/
|
|-
! Imprisonment
| 9
| Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/U4rwlvMEoj0
|
|-
! Incendiary Butt
| 8
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/139/
|
|-
! Inflict Wounds
| 1
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/Kcd44VfN-Ro?t=3m24s
|
|-
! Insect Plague
| 5
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1127/
|
|-
! Instant Summons
| 6
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/123/
| What if about fairy demographics which are "summoned" to the first laugh of a child
|-
! Invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1080/
|
|-
! Irresistible Dance
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/878/
|
|-
! Jump
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/kT2Y6ftxilM?t=17m37s
|
|-
! Knock
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/530/
|
|-
! Legend Lore
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1350/
|
|-
! Lesser Restoration
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/567/
|
|-
! Levitate
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/520/
|
|-
! Light
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/
|
|-
! Lightning Bolt
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/109/
|
|-
! Locate Animals or Plants
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1826/
|
|-
! Locate Creature
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1747/
|
|-
! Locate Object
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://bfy.tw/Dh
|
|-
! Longstrider
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1065/
|
|-
! Mage Armor
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1636/
|
|-
! Mage Hand
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1812/
|
|-
! Magic Circle
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Magic Jar
| 6
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1021/
|
|-
! Magic Missile
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1356/
| An understanding of orbital mechanics would allow one to make a missile so effective as to be similar to magic
|-
! Magic Mouth
| 2
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/37/
| This what-if describes a stereo (which is like a magical/technological mouth)
|-
! Magic Weapon
| 2
| Paladin, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/81/
|
|-
! Magnificent Mansion
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/TamwFUUd9Yk?t=10m29s
|
|-
! Major Image
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/980/
| This comic shows a very very large chart detailing how various things are valued in comparison to each other
|-
! Mass Cure Wounds
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1793/
| Large quantities of sugar (as seen in this comic) could be seen as curing wounds (although would almost certainly cause other problems)
|-
! Mass Heal
| 9
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/1Cj8d6EcFp0
|
|-
! Mass Healing Word
| 3
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1520/
| The scientist speaking about biology describes her field as having "slain one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse"
|-
! Mass Suggestion
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1264/
|
|-
! Maze
| 8
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/246/
|
|-
! Meld into Stone
| 3
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/V5PlKZRQVgQ
|
|-
! Mending
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1780
|
|-
! Message
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1782/
|
|-
! Meteor Swarm
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1249/
|
|-
! Mind Blank
| 8
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1145/
|
|-
! Minor Illusion
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1492/
|
|-
! Mirage Arcane
| 7
| Bard, Druid, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/806/
|
|-
! Mislead
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1488/
|
|-
! Misty Step
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/126/
|
|-
! Modify Memory
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1156/
|
|-
! Moonbeam
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1738/
|
|-
! Move Earth
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/723/
|
|-
! Nondetection
| 3
| Bard, Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/937/
|
|-
! Pass Without Trace
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LHBzVTCO3nM?t=4m32s
|
|-
! Passwall
| 5
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1608/
|
|-
! Phantasmal Killer
| 4
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/
|
|-
! Phantom Steed
| 3
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/U3JnZEzoL6M
|
|-
! Planar Ally
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Planar Binding
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1956/
|
|-
! Plane Shift
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/803/
|
|-
! Plant Growth
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/yV9wy9ucXgc
|
|-
! Poison Spray
| 0
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/144/
|
|-
! Polymorph
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1094/
|
|-
! Power Word Kill
| 9
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://youtu.be/VHR0EfYACAI?t=13m51s
|
|-
! Power Word Stun
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/
|
|-
! Prayer of Healing
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/418/
|
|-
! Prestidigitation
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/942/
|
|-
! Prismatic Spray
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/657/
|
|-
! Prismatic Wall
| 9
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1271/
|
|-
! Private Sanctum
| 4
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1663/#74b2196a-34fa-11e8-8001-42010a8e0006
|
|-
! Produce Flame
| 0
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/386/
|
|-
! Programmed Illusion
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/303/
|
|-
! Project Image
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/bR0Ubck0IRA
|
|-
! Protection from Energy
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/556/
|
|-
! Protection from Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1303/
|
|-
! Protection from Poison
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1305/
|
|-
! Purify Food and Drink
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ONSWw4aBBLg
|
|-
! Raise Dead
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/599/
|
|-
! Ray of Enfeeblement
| 2
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/526/
|
|-
! Ray of Frost
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/312/
|
|-
! Regenerate
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1024/
|
|-
! Reincarnate
| 5
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/WbKrlJgwI4A?t=17m33s
|
|-
! Remove Curse
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/391/
|
|-
! Resilient Sphere
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1248/
|
|-
! Resistance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/730/
|
|-
! Resurrection
| 7
| Bard, Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com
|
|-
! Reverse Gravity
| 7
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1115/
|
|-
! Revivify
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/346/
|
|-
! Rope Trick
| 2
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
|
|-
! Sacred Flame
| 0
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://www.nasa.gov/sun
|
|-
! Sanctuary
| 1
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qQVlGrwG9yo?t=11m49s
|
|-
! Scorching Ray
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/729
|
|-
! Scrying
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://archive.org/donate/
|
|-
! Secret Chest
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1762/
|
|-
! See invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/401/
|
|-
! Seeming
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
|
|-
! Sending
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/352/
|
|-
! Sequester
| 7
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/646/
|
|-
! Shapechange
| 9
| Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/-aWH3-46slI?t=6m4s
|
|-
! Shatter
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/137/
|
|-
! Shield
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/916/
|
|-
! Shield of Faith
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/129/
|
|-
! Shillelagh
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LXxdC9X3hxg?t=8m6s
|
|-
! Shocking Grasp
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/242/
|
|-
! Silence
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Ranger
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/525/
|
|-
! Silent Image
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1416/
|
|-
! Simulacrum
| 7
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Qo1Aj_leEo
|
|-
! Sleep
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/320/
|
|-
! Sleet Storm
| 3
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/511/
|
|-
! Slow
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/162/
|
|-
! Speak with Animals
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1879/
|
|-
! Speak with Plants
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/70/
|
|-
! Spider Climb
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/136/
|
|-
! Spike Growth
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/67/
|
|-
! Spirit Guardians
| 3
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/695/
|
|-
! Spiritual Weapon
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/A1gTbnB-Gps?t=17m2s
|
|-
! Stinking Butt
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1066/
|
|-
! Stone Shape
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/135/
|
|-
! Stoneskin
| 4
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LlKnEgPEGmA
|
|-
! Storm of Vengeance
| 9
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/93/
|
|-
! Suggestion
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/672
|
|-
! Sunbeam
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/141/
|
|-
! Sunburst
| 8
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/115/
|
|-
! Telekinesis
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/3/
|
|-
! Telepathic Bond
| 5
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1504/
|
|-
! Thaumaturgy
| 0
| Cleric
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1131/
|
|-
! Thunderwave
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/140/
|
|-
! Tiny Hut
| 3
| Bard, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/905/
|
|-
! Tongues
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1137
|
|-
! Tree Stride
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/IDBcGgjtFRs?t=1m3s
|
|-
! True Polymorph
| 9
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| (no link?)
|
|-
! True Resurrection
| 9
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7-n8TZqm9Ic?t=12m36
|
|-
! True Seeing
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://geekwagon.net/projects/xkcd1190/
|
|-
! True Strike
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| S
| https://youtu.be/wWOVS0XQmPM?t=12m11s
|
|-
! Unseen Servant
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/958/
|
|-
! Vampiric Touch
| 3
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/98/
|
|-
! Vicious Mockery
| 0
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/732/
|
|-
! Wall of Fire
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/fires/main/usa/index.html
|
|-
! Wall of Force
| 5
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/147/
|
|-
! Wall of Ice
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
| This comic describes the entire earth being covered in six feet of snow - a horizontal wall of ice
|-
! Wall of Stone
| 5
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2003/of03-001/htmldocs/images/chart.pdf
|
|-
! Wall of Thorns
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1970/
|
|-
! Warding Bond
| 2
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1188/
| This comic is titled Bonding
|-
! Water Breathing
| 3
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/969/
| When Narnia is flooded by a giant deluge of water (as suggested by this comic), its inhabitants had better learn to breathe water pretty quickly
|-
! Water Walk
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1599/
| This comic describes the delivery of water - which could be accomplished by walking
|-
! Web
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/195/
| This comic details a "map of the internet" - AKA the web
|-
! Weird
| 9
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1501/
| Mysteries, as graphed in this comic, are pretty weird things.
|-
! Wind Walk
| 6
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/zpahjcaRt6w?t=12m27s
|
|-
! Wind Wall
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/66/
| 500-mph winds (as discussed in this what if) are fairly similar to the "wall of strong wind" described by this spell
|-
! Wish
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1086/
| This comic details a list of eyelash-based wishes by Black Hat.
|-
! Zone of Truth
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/adventure-zone
| A reference to the Adventure Zone podcast by the McElroy family, specifically the character Merle Highchurch, who is well known for using this spell in possibly unhelpful situations.
|}

=====Submenu Spells=====
These 9 spells all appear with an arrow and open submenus when hovered on. The submenus are all actually from different parts of the context menu. Several of the spells are "teleportation/transportation" related which might explain why they lead you to a different place in the menu.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Submenu !! Explanation
|-
! Antimagic Field
| 8
| Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S M
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Banishment
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Do Crimes menu (even without unlocking it via Enable Dark Web)
|
|-
! Blink
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Counterspell
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Delayed Blast Fireball
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Help menu
|
|-
! Dimension Door
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| File - Open - C:\ - Bookmarks submenu
|
|-
! Teleportation Circle
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, M
| Games menu
|
|-
! Transport via Plants
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Games menu
|
|-
! Word of Recall
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| Utilities menu
|
|}

=====Effect Spells=====
These 10 spells activate different JavaScript functions that affect the page in various ways, permanent or temporary, that are suggestive of the spell that was cast.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Effect !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Splash
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Causes the background to change color between red, yellow, chartreuse, blue, fuchsia, and blue-violet randomly every 300ms.
| Using LSD ('acid') often causes vibrant colors to 'splash' and swivel around one's visual field.
|-
! Animate Objects
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Causes most parts of the page to begin shifting in place randomly every 100ms.
| The parts, or "objects" on the page are being "animated".
|-
! Blur
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V
| Causes the comic and most text to blur.
| Largely self-explanatory. In D&D, the Blur spell blurs one's body to make it harder to hit. This one blurs the elements on the page.
|-
! Conjure Animals
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Adds a rabbit image of a random size next to the comic.
| Conjures an image of an animal.
|-
! Darkness
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| Causes the comic to disappear and the background to turn black.
| In D&D, the Darkness spell conjures darkness. This does largely the same thing.
|-
! Darkvision
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| Causes the background to turn gray and the comic to fade. However, it does not appear to work.
|
|-
! Fireball
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Causes the page background to turn red then slowly turn white.
| Fireballs caused by nuclear weapons generally appear reddish-white.
|-
! Mirror Image
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| Causes the entire page to be mirrored on the vertical axis.
| Here, Mirror Image "mirrors" the image, instead of conjuring "mirror images" of yourself.
|-
! Symbol
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Changes all text on the page to use Wingdings, Webdings, Symbol, or Zapf Dingbats.
| These are all {{w|dingbat}} fonts which replace text with symbols.
|-
! Time Stop
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| Pauses any currently ongoing effects. (But does not cancel them)
| Time Stop is a spell that stops time. This would make sense to stop ongoing effects.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Empty frame with Cueball standing slightly right of center.]

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Editor's Note: Today's comic is optimized for local viewing. To see the full version, just save a copy of the image!

==Trivia==
*On Monday, April 1st, 2019 [[2131: Emojidome]], an April Fools' comic was released, making it look like the missing April Fools' Day comic in 2017 was an [[1818:_Rayleigh_Scattering#No_April_Fools.27_Day_comic_in_2017|outlier]].
*Here is an example of how the game looks when entered:
[[File:1975_Right_Click_Systems_menu.png]]
*This is broken on iPadOS.
* The [https://github.com/xkcd/alto source code] for the comic was released on GitHub.

{{comic discussion}}



[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Buns]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics with audio]]
[[Category:Chronicles of Narnia]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]

1975: Right Click

2025-04-10T03:15:11Z

SkiesShaper: added a few spell explanations

{{comic
| number = 1975
| date = April 1, 2018
| title = Right Click
| image = right_click.png
| titletext = Right-click or long press (where supported) to save!
}}
{{TOC}}To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the {{xkcd|1975|original comic}}.

==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|Need to finish explaining [[#Link Spells|the spells]] (second half of the table).

Also, improve the caption for the image on the right.}}
[[File:right click save.png|thumb|right|550px|This is the image that the save button downloads]]
This was the eighth [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous one was [[1663: Garden]], scheduled for released Friday, April 1st, 2016, but in the end released on [[1663:_Garden#Monday_4th_of_April_release|Monday April 4th]] 2016, two years prior to the release of this comic. The next was [[2131: Emojidome]] released on Monday, April 1st, 2019.

This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the fourth comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fool joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2nd. The next comic, [[1976: Friendly Questions]], was first released on Wednesday, April 4th. At first, the comic seems like the most simplistic xkcd comic possible - [[Cueball]] standing and doing nothing. The "editor's note" tells you to save a copy of the image to "view the full comic".

To save an image from a browser most people would right-click on it (or long-click in mobile devices) which normally leads to a "context menu" allowing several actions related to the image, including saving/downloading. This is what you are encouraged to do by the editorial note as well as by the comic name and title text. However, the context menu opened is not the default context menu of the browser but an elaborate context menu containing many nonsensical options.

At first it also seems impossible to save the image using that menu. However, after exploring the context menu you can find an "easter egg" in one of two different places (see below) which unlocks the save option. This save option gives you a different [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png image] than the one you see, which can be thought of as "the full comic" although the meat of the comic is actually in the interactive context menu itself. Note that "cheating" by disabling JavaScript and other methods that allow you to directly save the image won't get you that "full comic" image.

This comic pokes fun at how hard it can be to save an image or to just navigate context menus in some computer programs. The "easter egg hunt" might be related to the fact the comic was released during Easter (which fell on April fool's in 2018). It might also be related to the movie "Ready Player One" which was recently released when the comic was released. In the movie, based on the book by Cline, finding an "easter egg" in a VR world was a central plot point.

The title is reminiscent of one of the first interactive comics [[1110: Click and Drag]], where the title explains what the user should do to experience it. However, that was not a fools' day comic.

The comic uses {{w|JavaScript}} and {{w|HTML5}} to override the standard context menu. Since modern browsers use the same features to integrate Add-ons into that menu, the behavior may be different depending on the browser environment. Browsers with JavaScript disabled, either totally or by using {{w|NoScript}}, won't access the functionality of the comic, but of course can easily save the image (not "the full version" but the image that is seen initially).
<div style="clear: both"></div>

==Context menu==
===Main Context Menu===
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable sortable"
! # !! Menu item !! Explanation !! Sub-menu items
|-
!1
| '''Save'''
| Only appears after getting one of the two easter eggs that can be found in the menu - in the games ADVENT.EXE and Mornington Crescent (see their explanations below).
| Save image> Views the image the first time you click, then downloads this image on every visit after that. [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png]. The image includes a spheroid object near the top right-hand corner which appears to exhibit red shift and green shift, suggesting that it is rotating rapidly.

|-
! 2
| '''File'''
| Normal submenu
|Close: Closes menu, does nothing.
Open: A:\, C:\, / (See more [[#Filesystems Menu|below]])

Find: Where, When, How, (grayed out) What, (grayed out) Why, Who.

'Where' leads to four options. The first, 'computer', has two options ('folder' and 'menus'), which link back to the 'find' and right-click menus, respectively. "Narnia" leads to a link to the comic [[665: Prudence]] as well as to a grey comment about how it's weird that "they" have to die to go back to Narnia.
"Canada" and "America" lead to the same set of bizarre menus (America leads into Canada's menu), which then give the options 'Upper' and 'Lower', ultimately leading to a drive-through and hockey, respectively.

'When' leads to a description of Siri entering someone's home, and the menu can be followed to reveal several further events from 'earlier' in the day. The last one ('a bottle of jack and a toothbrush') is likely a reference to the song 'Tik Tok' by Kesha.

'How' simply leads to an exclamation of 'How!?'.

'What' is grayed out.

'Why' links to [http://itisamystery.com/], ''technically'' answering the question of "Why?"

'Who' leads to a menu version of the Abbot and Costello "Who's on First?" routine, which eventually links to a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTcRRaXV-fg&feature=youtu.be youtube video] of the routine. As of April 4th, a second submenu has been added, which contains Slappy and Skippy's "Who's on Stage?" parody of the previous routine, which also eventually leads to its [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mdqv5xIsFLM youtube video].

Backup: Causes the area around the comic to flash red 9 times, with high-pitch sounds reminiscent of a truck backing up. Reminiscent of the Sinclair Spectrum SAVE to tape command, which would flash the border and modulate the speaker.

Save: Only available after the save menu is unlocked after one of the two Easter Eggs is found, allows a download of a bonus comic, same as clicking the save option from the main menu.

|-
! 3
| '''Edit'''
| Enables a mode allowing the user to draw on the webpage. You can draw multiple scribbles, however, they will automatically connect together. Pressing Esc asks "Aw, that looks nice though. Really delete?" and the page returns to normal if OK is clicked.
| None
|-
! 4
| '''System'''
| Normal submenu
|Shut Down> Changes the only menu option to "Power on", then once that is used, the system returns to normal.

/ (See [[#Table - Filesystems Menu|below]])
|-
! 5
| '''View'''
| Normal submenu
|Cascade>Links to [http://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/Mt._St._Helens,_Washington]

Tile> Links to [[245: Floor Tiles]]

Minimize> Changes pointer to a smaller pointer.

Full Screen> Enters full screen.
|-
! 6
| '''Utilities'''
| Normal submenu
|Park drives> Nothing.

Check space usage> (cannot click) Space usage: -Dark matter -Hydrogen -Helium -Scattered clumps of heavier elements -Stars -Rocks -Some space probes -Earth

Spell check> English (links to [[1069: Alphabet]]) and Colors (links to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/])

Train AI> links to [[1838: Machine Learning]]

Identify song> opens a long word-by-word menu for song lyrics; it's actually a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]].

Advanced> several Unix commands, all absurd (or dangerous) for some reason:
* <code>apt-get install /dev/null</code>: <code>apt-get</code> is the standard package manager used in Debian-derived Linux distributions (including Ubuntu); it is normally used to install software; <code>/dev/null</code> is the "bit-bucket" device on any Unix system, which can be used as a dummy output file to discard output or as a dummy empty input file. This command would attempt to install <code>/dev/null</code> (which is a device, not a package!) or, more correctly, would try to install a package reading its data from <code>/dev/null</code> (if <code>apt-get</code> is given a file name it tries to interpret it as a .deb package), which is obviously impossible.
* <code>brew install apt-get</code>: <code>brew</code> is a third-party package manager for macOS; it is generally used to install "missing" open-source utilities on a macOS system; the command is attempting to install the aforementioned <code>apt-get</code>, which is both impossible (<code>apt-get</code> doesn't run on macOS) and hilariously recursive (did you install a package manager - brew - to install another one?). Even if this were possible, the package would have been called <code>apt</code>, as apt-get is only one of the commands in the package manager.
* <code>/usr/local/bin/wine xen-hypervisor.exe</code>: <code>wine</code> is a compatibility layer used to run Windows executables on Linux (and on macOS); the fact that it is in <code>/usr/local</code> hints that it has been manually compiled on this machine; Xen is a Linux-based hypervisor, i.e. a software used to run and manage virtual machines over a Linux host, but the .exe suffix here hints that it is a Windows executable. The command would try to launch a Windows build of a Linux-based virtual machine manager on a Unix machine through a Windows emulation layer (wine).
* <code>source .bash_history</code>: the <code>source</code> shell command reads the file that is given as argument and executes each of its rows as a command in the current shell, roughly as if you typed them in; <code>.bash_history</code> (located in the user home directory) is the file where the bash shell saves the history of the commands that have been run. This command would re-run all the commands that have been typed in the shell.
* <code>rm -rf $DIRECTROY/*</code>: <code>rm -rf</code> deletes recursively and forcefully the paths it is given as arguments; <code>$DIRECTROY</code> is a shell variable, probably containing some directory that whoever typed in this command wanted to clean; however, it is misspelled (it says <code>$DIRECTROY</code>, not <code>$DIRECTORY</code>), and, due to how POSIX shell work, it is thus expanded to an empty string; so, the command becomes <code>rm -rf /*</code>, which deletes all the files and directories in the root of the disk, effectively killing the system instead of just deleting the content of some directory. Notice that this particular misspell manages to circumvent the builtin protection of many <code>rm</code> versions, which refuse to do a plain <code>rm -rf /</code>, as <code>/*</code> gets expanded by the shell, so <code>rm</code> never has the chance to see explicitly that you are killing all the data in the root directory.
* <code>:(){:|:&};:</code>: this is [https://askubuntu.com/q/159491/208527 a classic shell fork bomb], i.e. a small program that keeps launching copies of itself until all resources have been exhausted or the user somehow manages to kill all its copies.
* <code>echo "source .bashrc" >> .bashrc</code>: <code>.bashrc</code> is a file that gets executed whenever the <code>bash</code> shell is started in interactive mode; this command appends the string <code>source .bashrc</code> to it, which effectively executes it again recursively; this would pretty much make it impossible to open an interactive shell when launching it with the default parameters.
* <code>alias gcc=php</code>: the <code>alias</code> shell builtin create an alias for another command; <code>gcc</code> is the GNU C compiler driver, which is used to compile programs written in the C language; <code>php</code> is the command-line interpreter for the PHP language. This line creates an alias such that when typing <code>gcc</code>, <code>php</code> is actually invoked, which would generate completely absurd error messages. This is doubly devious, as PHP isn't generally held in high esteem by large part of the programming community (especially by someone writing stuff in C).

* <code>'); DROP TABLE Menus;--</code> links to [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]
|-
! 7
| '''Games'''
| Normal submenu
| Twenty Questions> A Twenty Questions interface that gets really confusing. There are links to Bing image searches for '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=okapi&FORM=HDRSC2 okapi]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=pronghorn&FORM=HDRSC2 pronghorn]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=eland&FORM=HDRSC2 eland]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=baribusa&FORM=HDRSC2 baribusa]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=musk%20deer&FORM=HDRSC2 musk deer]' and '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=ibex&FORM=HDRSC2 ibex]'. The game also contains some extremely large cans of creamed corn (a reference to [[1807: Listening]]).

Rock Paper Scissors> A Rock Paper Scissors game where the computer always matches your move. If you go long enough, the Defect option is added, a reference to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner%27s_dilemma Prisoner's Dilemma].

D&D> An interface that allows you to "cast" over 300 spells from {{W|Dungeons_&_Dragons|D&D}} 5e. Several menus are used to filter the spells based on their traits: class which can learn the spell, the school of the spell, the spell level, and components required to perform it (somatic, vocal, material). The traits can be chosen in any order. After all six traits are chosen a submenu opens with all of the spells that match those exact traits (which might be no spells at all).

Most spells link to various pages, including xkcd comics (e.g. [[1331: Frequency]]), what-ifs (e.g. {{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}) and other external sites (e.g. [https://www.nasa.gov/sun The Sun | NASA]). Some spells create effects that change the comic page temporarily or permanently, and some open submenus from different parts of the context menu.

See [[#D&D spells|below]] for all links and effects.

ADVENT.EXE> A text-based adventure game. If played correctly, you can win, unlocking 'Save'>'Save image' from the beginning menu, which links to [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png].

The first scene allows you a choice between exploring a dark cave or a castle. If you explore the cave first you get the following description: "It's pitch black. You're likely to be eaten by a grue". This is a reference to a text adventure game called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zork Zork], where [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_(monster) Grues] are monsters who dwell in the dark and eat human explorers, making it impossible to explore dark areas. The same description often appears when you enter a dark area without a light source in Zork and other related games. This has previously been mentionned in [[91: Pwned]].

If you ignore the warning and go deeper, you are given one more warning ("You're deep in a cave. Something, possibly this very sentence, tells you it would be dangerous to go any further"). If you ignore that too and keep going, you fall into a pit. Several options are given to try and rescue yourself (or alternatively "resign to your fate" or deny you are in a pit [You also may try to cause a distraction by saying "Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!" This may be a reference to the Curse of Monkey Island, where Guybrush Threepwood distracts characters by saying the same line.]) but all lead to "you've been eaten by a grue". Being eaten by a grue seems to be an irreversible condition - if you exit the context menu and enter ADVENT.EXE again, you are given no options and are told again that "you've been eaten by a grue". Apparently only refreshing the page cancels that.

Exploring the castle is a much safer option to begin with. The main castle scene has a door, a well, and stairs that go up to the tower. The door is locked, and trying to break it is futile.

The well is a wishing well. Examining it allows for several options:
* Examine the sign - it reads "Dark! Narrow! Scary! Well of Three Features". This is a reference to [https://zeldawiki.wiki/wiki/Bottom_of_the_Well the well of three features] from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
* Wish for... - this one has a lot of options, some of which are links to comics or What If pages and some lead to further submenus:
** World peace - leads to the answer "I'm just a well, can you scale it down a bit?" and then back to the well menu; this option is from now changed to "Inner peace", which gives "A feeling of calm washes over you." and "Ommmmmm...", which also goes back to the well menu
** More wishes - leads back to the "Wish for..." menu. The idea of using a wish to wish for more wishes is common when discussing things with wish-granting powers and was previously mentioned in [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]].
** Fewer wishes - Tell you "Really? Okay.." (as this is not something most people would ask for{{Citation needed}}). If you continue you return to the "Examine well" menu. If you want to make a wish again (even after exiting the menu and coming back again) you can only wish for "more wishes" and then you can continue wishing normally.
** Happiness - links to [[572: Together]], a comic about getting "happiness" as a scavenger hunt item.
** Luck - links to [[1053: Ten Thousand]] which refers to hearing about commonly known things for the first time as being one of "today's lucky 10,000".
** Wisdom - You hear a voice whisper 'N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W'. This is a clue for later.
** Wealth - Links to the what if article {{what if|111|All the Money}}, which might explain what will happen if the wishing well "overgrants" your wish.
** A human-sized hamster ball - links to [[152: Hamster Ball]] where [[Cueball]] wishes for the same thing.
** A map of everything - links to [[1196: Subways]], a map of the subways of North America, which are apparently "everything" for Americans.
** True love - links to {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}.
** A kitty! - links to [[231: Cat Proximity]], a comic detailing the effect of cats on humans.
* Jump in - Allows you to swim (and later "just keep swimming..." indefinitely) or climb out and return to the "Examine well" menu.
* Pull up the bucket - "You reel in the bucket. There's something shiny in the bottom". If you examine the bucket you get a key!

After you have the key, if you go back to the castle you can now use the key on the locked door and enter a dungeon. In the dungeon, there is a clamp on a table that you can take.

Finally, in the tower, you can find a "strange machine" dubbed a "C-Remover". You can try to use the C-Remover on any item you got. It doesn't affect the key, but it does turn the clamp into a lamp! The C-remover is a reference to either the T-remover from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_Goddesses_of_Phobos Leather Goddess of Phobos] or the multi-letter remover from [http://emshort.com/counterfeit_monkey/ Counterfeit Monkey], a text adventure by Emily Short inspired by it.

After you have the lamp, entering the cave becomes safer. It now becomes "a maze of twisty passages, all alike" where each room allows going N, E, S, or W, normally leading to an identical room. Only by using the clue from the wish for "wisdom" in the well and going N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W you can navigate the maze successfully. When following that path, after the first "W" the options become N, S, and Dennis instead of the usual N, E, S, W; this is a reference to the text-based game [http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Thy_Dungeonman Thy Dungeonman] found in a Strong Bad email from [http://homestarrunner.com homestarrunner.com].

If you follow the full path you find the center of the maze where there is a nest with a "large multicolored egg" (an easter egg!). If you take the egg you are told "You feel a sense of potential, as if you may have more options now". This is because the "save" options are now unlocked in the main context menu and the file menu!

Hoverboard> Links to [[1608: Hoverboard]] browser game.

Mornington Crescent> This is a simulation of the well-known game {{W|Mornington_Crescent_(game)|Mornington Crescent}}, which bears a surprising resemblance to {{W|London_Underground|London's Underground}} railway network. Players name a station, in turn, endeavoring to reach Mornington Crescent. The rules of play are very complicated and beyond the scope of this article; interested persons are referred to ''N. F. Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins'' (sadly out of print). This variation only includes the sections of the London Underground in fare zone 1. There is a "station" only connected to Vauxhall called "Easter basket". The Easter basket leads you to "Take egg", also allowing you to save. The shortest path to the Easter basket is Euston > Warren Street > Oxford Circus > Green Park > Victoria > Pimlico > Vauxhall > Easter basket, simply following the Victoria Line the entire way. All playable stations are immediately adjacent on the London Underground network to the station last played. Despite the fact that this version of the game starts at Euston, which is adjacent to Mornington Crescent, as Mornington Crescent is in fare zone 2, the branch of the {{W|Northern_line|Northern line}} on which the {{W|Mornington_Crescent_tube_station|eponymous station}} is situated does not appear in the game and Mornington Crescent is not an objective.
|-
! 8
| '''Help'''
| Contains various submenus, all of which, barring Credits, loop back recursively to this menu:
|Tutorial
Support

Manual

Troubleshooting

FAQ

Guide

Q&A

User forums

--------------

Credits> 'Some people who helped with this comic:
[http://chromakode.com/ @chromakode]
[https://twitter.com/aiiane Amber]
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest @fadinginterest]
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat]
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin]
[http://90d.ca/ Stereo]'
|-
! 9
| '''Do Crimes'''
| Contains several "crimes" that can be committed. This option is unlocked by File > Open > C:\ (or /home/user) > Bookmarks/ > Secret > Enable Dark Web.
This is a joke about how the dark web is perceived in popular culture - a place that exists solely to do crimes, mainly bitcoin and hacking related.
| Steal Bitcoins > Grayed out.
Say swears > Several clean swears that all link to [[771: Period Speech]].

Hack > Three sub-options that link to various related comics. (Gibson: Nothing. Election: [[1019: First Post]]. Planet: [[1337: Hack]].)

Forge a Scrabble Tile > Several sub-options that don't do anything. (U, Z, <this menu option intentionally left blank>, and two special characters, one being a Russian 'Э', as low-pitched [eh], and the second being a crossed swords emoji (⚔)
|}

====Filesystems Menu====

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Drive !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
! A:\
| '''Insert'''
| Only appears before inserting a floppy disk.
|Floppy disk> Unlocks other options for drive A:\, which are identical to drive C:\
Chip card> A long sequence of being told 'Please wait. Authorizing...' ending in 'Chip error! REMOVE CARD NOW!'
|-
! C:\
| '''Documents/'''
| Nothing.
| None.
|-
! C:\
| '''Music/'''
| Leads to a long string of prompts for song lyrics. 'Hey now / Hey now na now / Sing "This Corrosion" to me' inverts the webpage's color before Easter egg mode is enabled, and plays the referenced song in the browser with inverted color and flashing if the Easter egg mode is enabled. It's actually the same menu that is shown under Utilities>Identify song (which itself is a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]]).
| 'Hey now / Hey now / Don't dream it's over' links to [[240: Dream Girl]]. 'This / is / a / story all about how / my life got flipped, turned upside down' links to [[464: RBA]]. 'This / is / the / story of a girl / who cried a river and drowned the whole world' links to a Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_FVAEYRM5I
|-
! C:\
| '''Bookmarks/'''
| Similar to Music/, Bookmarks/> Comics leads to a chain from which all comics prior to this comic except [[1974: Conversational Dynamics]] are titled and linked. For instance, he thus here recognizes his first April Fools' comic [[404: Not Found]], which cannot be found, as a real comic by linking to it. Bookmarks/> Secret> Enable Dark Web adds the 'Dark Web' option to the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Games/'''
| Same as 'Games' from the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Sequences/'''
| The options are the lines from a ''Tim and Eric'' sketch [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/celery-man Celery Man]; the final option links to a YouTube video of the sketch.
| After several single-option menus, it links to this Youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHWBEK8w_YY
|-
! /
| '''home/'''
| Nothing.
| guest> links to http://uni.xkcd.com/ - a command-line Unix-style interface for viewing xkcd comics (and other commands to discover) that was used as the April Fool's joke in 2010. See also the comic [[unixkcd]].

user> Same files as C:\

root> Displays 'You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.' a refrence to [[838: Incident]] and also what the sudo command will print if unauthorized users try to use it.
|-
! /
| '''opt/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''sbin/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''usr/'''
| Opens an infinite sequence of options, each similar to the last, but replacing the previous selection with another folder; probably a reference to the fact that [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/usr.html the /usr hierarchy] does contain a list of subdirectories pretty much identical [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/the-root-directory.html to those of the root directory]. /usr/local, too is a duplicate of /usr for files not originating with the distro, and of late /var and /opt have also started expanding.
|-
! /
| '''dev/'''
| Nothing.
|random/> links to a random xkcd comic. In unix systems reading from the /dev/random file generates pseudorandom bytes, so it fits here that /dev/random gives a random comic.
urandom/> links to [[221: Random Number]]. In unix systems, /dev/urandom is the same as /dev/random, except in /dev/random you don't get anything if you don't have sufficient "randomness" in the system, and in /dev/urandom you get whatever you have. The linked comic describes a botched attempt to create a function that would return a truly random number but actually, it returns a fixed number (and thus isn't useful at all). This alludes to /dev/urandom providing bad results sometimes.
|}

====D&D spells====
Here all the spells from the D&D game are detailed, including the traits you need to enter to get to them and the link they lead to/effect they create.

To get to a specific spell using this table you need to go to games->d&d->cast and then enter the traits - level, class, school, and components - in any order. Note that many spells list more than one class in the table (in d&d it means multiple classes can cast that spell), which means you need to choose one of those classes in the menu. Components are listed in the table as V for Verbal Components, S for Somatic Components and M for Material Components - choose "yes" or "no" for these based on whether the matching letter is there or not.

=====Link Spells=====
The vast majority of spells (285 of them apparently) are actually links to xkcd comics, what ifs, or external pages that somehow demonstrate or relate to the spell.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Link !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Arrow
| 2
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/790/
| The comic is about giving LSD (commonly known as "acid") to test subjects
|-
! Aid
| 2
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://donorschoose.org
| A site dedicated to donations - aiding various subjects
|-
! Alarm
| 1
| Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1359/
| Comic about phone alarm
|-
! Alter Self
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1099/
| In this comic beret guy is "altered" in a weird way
|-
! Animal Friendship
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1746/
| Comic about making friends in a way that might attract some animals better than humans
|-
! Animal Messenger
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://twitter.com/dog_rates
| A humorous Twitter page about "rating dogs" - in a way "messaging about" animals
|-
! Animal Shapes
| 8
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1278/
| Comic about using genetic engineering to change an animal (in this case a giraffe) shape
|-
! Animate Dead
| 3
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=62
| They were once dead.
|-
! Arcane Eye
| 4
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/993/
| The comic is related to creating a brand by having products that "stand out" and are therefore "more visible"
|-
! Astral Projection
| 9
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/977/
| Comic about map projections
|-
! Augury
| 2
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1334/
| The comic is about checking the second page of google results for answers, which might be parallelized to reading omens in the spell.
|-
! Awaken
| 5
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1518/
| Comic about awakening... badly to an alarm sound
|-
! Bane
| 1
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/972/
| The comic details a simple exploit by blackhat, the bane of everyone's existence
|-
! Barkskin
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qFI4BQlBbig
| A video by "My Brother, My Brother and Me" where a person creates a "shitty iron man armor", parallel to the armor created by barkskin
|-
! Beacon of Hope
| 3
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Svalbard_Global_Seed_Vault
| Link to the wikipedia page about the global seed vault, which is meant to function as "a beacon of hope" in case of global disaster.
|-
! Bestow Curse
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/214/
| The comic talks about "the problem of wikipedia" which can be time-waster to curious people. This can also be rephrased as "the curse of wikipedia"
|-
! Black Tentacles
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1926/
| The comic is about an "ugly mess of code" which can be compared to a tentacle mess
|-
! Blade Barrier
| 6
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1406/
| The comic is about a "universal converted" which can be thought of as a kind of barrier
|-
! Bless
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/55/
| A what if article about saying "bless you" to random people on the phone, hoping they just sneezed
|-
! Blight
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1807/
| Another exploit by black hat
|-
! Blindness/Deafness
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V
| https://xkcd.com/467/
| Comic related to "two girls one cup", a well-known shock video which might make people wish they were blind after seeing it
|-
! Branding Smite
| 2
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/384/
| (Can thunder make intelligent?)
|-
! Burning Hands
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1296/
| Git messages become increasingly similar to a person on fire typing them and also relate to haaaannds
|-
! Call Lightning
| 3
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/
| A what if with several lightning-related questions
|-
! Calm Emotions
| 2
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://twitter.com/CuteEmergency
| Twitter page about cute dogs that might indeed calm your emotions
|-
! Chain Lightning
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/898/
| Comic about the chain of command
|-
! Charm Person
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1777/
| Comic about the Nigerian Scan, which can be thought of as a way to "charm" people into doing what you want (like other scams)
|-
! Chill Touch
| 0
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1108/
| Comic about a cautionary ghost, similar to the ghostly hand the spell creates
|-
! Circle of Death
| 6
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1674/
| Comic about doing "adult stuff" including writing a will
|-
! Clairvoyance
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1421/
| Comic about discovering a creepily clairvoyant comment from your "past self" in your code
|-
! Clone
| 8
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1597/
| Comic about git - "clone" is a common git command.
|-
! Buttkill
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/8/
| Human crowd
|-
! Color Spray
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1882/
| Comic about color
|-
! Command
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/857/
| Comic about a man making a famous phrase by Archimedes into a command with an ultimatum
|-
! Commune
| 5
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7yxaKeRRypo?t=44s
| Tried to snipe but turned into laughs
|-
! Commune with Nature
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/BOxRFMiSDZU?t=9m47s
| Suddenly, Dino-Lansbury.
|-
! Comprehend Languages
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1816/
| Comic about language weirdness and puns
|-
! Compulsion
| 4
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/609/
| Comic about TVTropes, which might create a compulsion to follow links and stay there for a long time
|-
! Cone of Cold
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1714/
| Comic about volcanoes, which are actually cones of heat usually (the "waffle cone" volcano in the comic is probably cold)
|-
! Confusion
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1969/
| Comic presents a way to confuse people by setting to "not found" page of your site to a "not available in your country" page
|-
! Conjure Woodland Beings
| 4
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1903/
| Comic about "buns" (rabbits) which are woodland beings
|-
! Contact Other Plane
| 5
| Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1889/
| Comic from the "[[xkcd Phone]]" series. With all their features, surely xkcd phones can contact other planes...
|-
! Contagion
| 5
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1161/
| Comic about hand sanitizer, which is meant to prevent contagion, but maybe not as effectively as [[Cueball]] would like.
|-
! Contingency
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/140/
| Comic about how one gets cheese when they have chips and chips when they have cheese, a situation in which one condition triggers a contingency and vice versa.
|-
! Continual Flame
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy_Eternal_Flame
| Wikipedia about eternal (continual) flame
|-
! Control Water
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing
|-
! Control Weather
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1126/
| Comic about the weirdness of the weather in 2005
|-
! Create Food and Water
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1774/
| Comic about food in supermarkets
|-
! Create or Destroy Water
| 1
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing (Same as in "control water" - actually more fitting here)
|-
! Create Undead
| 6
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/69/
| What if about the dead users in Facebook who are compared to "undead" in a comic image at the start of the article
|-
! Creation
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_hH7vZF15SY
| "Monster Factory" episode which is a gameplay video of the game spore which is about the creation of a species and a civilization. "Creating" is also in the video title.
|-
! Cure Wounds
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1618/
| Comic about trying to cure a pretty bad cold
|-
! Dancing Lights
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1331/
| Comic that shows frequencies of different events in the form of blinking ("dancing") gifs ("lights")
|-
! Daylight
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/673/
| Comic about "daylight saving time"
|-
! Death Ward
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/865/
| In the comic IPv6 functions as a sort of "death ward" against nanobots, buying us some time before the total annihilation of life on earth.
|-
! Demiplane
| 8
| Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1703/
|
|-
! Detect Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/256/
| A map of internet communities, with the good and bad parts.
|-
! Detect Magic
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/808/
| An economic argument that "detects" what crazy "magic" phenomenon actually works and what doesn't.
|-
! Detect Poison and Disease
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/802/
| Updated version of "map of online communities" which was linked to from "detect good and evil", again suggesting that online communities are full of "poison and disease".
|-
! Detect Thoughts
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1448/
| A note asking someone about their thoughts (or feelings)
|-
! Disguise Self
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
| Comic about being an impostor and "disguising" yourself as an expert in a field.
|-
! Disintegrate
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/
| The very first what if, where a baseball is pitched at 90% of the speed of light and begins to disintegrate... In a nuclear explosion
|-
! Dispel Evil and Good
| 5
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/5/
| What-if about a contemporary robot apocalypse ("evil") and how to "dispel" it.
|-
! Dispel Magic
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/109/
| Comic about spoilers who "dispel the magic" of watching some movies.
|-
! Divination
| 4
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1525/
| xkcd's version of the magic 8 ball, a toy/tool for divination
|-
! Divine Favor
| 1
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1575/
| Comic parodying the Christian poem "footprints" which is about divine favor
|-
! Divine Word
| 7
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/741/
| Comic about content producing, some of which may be divine words
|-
! Dominate Beast
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
| Comic about excessive phone security settings that "dominate" the thief in a way
|-
! Dominate Monster
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/JgChfrBsEaI
| "Monster factory" episode about "creating the Shrek franchise" - which is about a monster - in spore.
|-
! Dominate Person
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1116/
| Comic about confusing traffic light which can "dominate" a person.
|-
! Dream
| 5
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/557/
| Comic about the common "not ready for school" dream
|-
! Druidcraft
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/867/
| Comic about branches of zoology - zoology can be thought of as "druidcraft"
|-
! Earthquake
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/08/24/earthquakes/
| Blog post about earthquakes
|-
! Eldritch Blast
| 0
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/356/
| Comic about "nerd sniping", an unconventional sort of "blast" for "hitting" nerds
|-
! Enhance Ability
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/YLg_aIlhe6I?t=23m33s
| "Monster factory" episode about the stars recreating themselves in a WWE videogame, in a way "enhancing their abilities"
|-
! Entangle
| 1
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/257/
| Comic about code encryption, which adds complexity similar to an entanglement
|-
! Enthrall
| 2
| Bard, Warlock
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1286/
| Comic about improperly encrypted passwords, similar to the "distracting string of words" in the spell description
|-
! Etherealness
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/644/
|
|-
! Expeditious Retreat
| 1
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/61/
| What-if about speed bumps
|-
! Eyebite
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1015/
| Comic about bad kerning, which is a "bite" to the eyes
|-
! Fabricate
| 4
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Another Monster Factory video, fabricating a character in Mass Effect
|
|-
! Faerie Fire
| 1
| Bard, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/151/
| What-If about fireflies
|-
! Faithful Hound
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1193/
| Comic that ends with a very large dog
|-
! False Life
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/8-3jDVTLdaQ
| Monster Factory video involving the game Second Life.
|-
! Fear
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1242/
| A chart comparing how scary things are
|-
! Feather Fall
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, M
| https://youtu.be/bWvyJ05TdC8?t=13m34s
| In this clip, the floor is removed, causing a lot of people to fall.
|-
! Feeblemind
| 8
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/574/
| A comic about misinformed people, who could be described as acting feeble-minded.
|-
! Find Familiar
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/413/
| Comic talking about a new pet (that is actually a computer). A familiar is an animal, similar to a pet, that serves a master, usually the magic user that summoned it.
|-
! Find Steed
| 2
| Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1651/
| After the events of the comic, you would have to sort through the pile of cars to find your own; Your car here being the "steed" of the spell.
|-
! Find the Path
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/887/
| This comic is a 'path' of a possible future
|-
! Find Traps
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1195/
| This comic itself is a trap!
|-
! Finger of Death
| 7
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/117/
| A What-If about death.
|-
! Fire Bolt
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/639/
| The rebuke by Stephen Douglas featured in this comic could be compared humorously to a bolt of fire
|-
! Fire Shield
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/video/details.php?id=1090
| Featured in this video is a discussion of the Curiosity rover's landing on mars - something that definitely requires being shielded from fire
|-
! Fire Storm
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ujADg0nWqCw?t=15m51s
| A discusion of Curiosity's landing gear, including its heat shield.
|-
! Flame Blade
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/961/
| Strangely, not used for Continual Flame, despite the title.
|-
! Flame Strike
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/J9hMe1R8eYw
|
|-
! Flaming Sphere
| 2
| Druid, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/673/
| This is a comic about the sun, which can be described as a flaming sphere.
|-
! Flesh to Stone
| 6
| Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://xkcd.com/1409/
| Might be a penis joke on the "hours since watching porn" query.
|-
! Floating Disk
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/50/
| What-If on boating. A boat can - generously - be described as a floating disk.
|-
! Fly
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/353/
| A comic where a Python user gains the power of flight.
|-
! Fog Butt
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| http://twitter.com/karlthefog
| The twitter account for a fog butt.
|-
! Forbiddance
| 6
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/782/
| A comic about breaking forbidden taboos and paying the consequences.
|-
! Forcecage
| 7
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1142/
| A Faraday cage could be described as a force-cage.
|-
! Foresight
| 9
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1876/
| A comic about using one's foresight to extrapolate trends.
|-
! Freedom of Movement
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/sCOwRahm0so?t=1m8s
| Jet boots and forging your own path both enable freedom of movement
|-
! Freezing Sphere
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/121/
| A What-If about freezing a lot of things at once.
|-
! Gaseous Form
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/146/
| This What-If is about Jupiter, a gas giant.
|-
! Geas
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1559/
| Geas gives the target a magical command that they must follow, a somewhat-common use of which is instructing someone to walk across a continent to get them out of the way.
|-
! Gentle Repose
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Wl_yf86n78?t=20m
|
|-
! Giant Insect
| 4
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/_1jGnFt78H8?t=25m32s
| Roachie is a radroach, a giant insect much like the kind that this spell creates.
|-
! Glibness
| 8
| Bard, Warlock
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/707/
| Glibness is both a spell that makes you more charismatic and the quality of being funny and insincere.
|-
! Globe of Invulnerability
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/153/
| This what-if refers to the earth's atmosphere, which provides the earth with a "globe of invulnerability" (up to an extent)
|-
! Glyph of Warding
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1247/
| The warning message in this comic functions as a way of warding off viruses, warning the user of possibile attacks.
|-
! Goodberry
| 1
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1035/
| Goodberry summons a magical berry with as much nutritional value as a full day's food, much in the way that a soda has as much sugar as two or three Cadbury eggs.
|-
! Grease
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/4/
| At the end of this what-if, the titular mole of moles is described as a planet constructed entirely of mole corpses - with its center breaking down into a mushy, greasy mass of moles.
|-
! Greater Invisibility
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/72/
| The loneliest human had no connection to anyone else at the time, making them functionally invisible to the world.
|-
! Greater Restoration
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/my-brother-my-brother-and-me
| This is an advice podcast, and the advice held herein which could arguably restore any number of things
|-
! Guardian of Faith
| 4
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
| The same comic as Dominate Beass. The security settings guard against thieves.
|-
! Guards and Wards
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1890/
| A guide to self-defense in specific situations.
|-
! Guidance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1028/
| A comic on communication and guiding others.
|-
! Guiding Bolt
| 1
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1160/
| Both a poster guiding people to join the trebuchet club, and the actual mechanism of aiming the trebuchet.
|-
! Gust of Wind
| 2
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1378/
| In this comic, a wind turbine is asked to create a Gust of Wind, but is unable to.
|-
! Hallow
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1677/
| PF2e tips: "Hallow-led" Background has Dubious knowledge skill feat, fail pulls a correct information and a misinformation.
|-
! Hallucinatory Terrain
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1472/
| This comic contains imagined terrain - much like the spell would create
|-
! Harm
| 6
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
| A comic where harm is caused to the patient by suggesting the heart is taken out and the ventricles are blown in
|-
! Haste
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1701/
| This comic, titled "Speed and Danger," discusses various things that are very fast, indeed describable as hasty (such as rockets and racecars)
|-
! Heal
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
| This comic contains a surgeon carrying out arguably unsafe medical practices
|-
! Healing Word
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://youtu.be/NYnldxUpYQQ
|
|-
! Heat Metal
| 2
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/35/
| This What If discusses a metal box that is being continually heated by a hair dryer.
|-
! Hellish Rebuke
| 1
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/327/
| The SQL injection featured in this comic would definitely be considered Hellish in terms of its consequences, and is certainly a rebuke to the school district who did not sanitize their data inputs.
|-
! Heroes' Feast
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_v1v0t8Q5xg?t=7m48s
|
|-
! Heroism
| 1
| Bard, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/326/
| Attempting to trip up amateur grammar nazis, as depicted in this comic, could certainly be considered a heroic act.
|-
! Hideous Laughter
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1974/
| a hideous amount of laughter would be an apt response to the hindsight of the statement presented in this comic
|-
! Hold Monster
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1604/
| In this comic, Megan is seen holding a snake that is very likely to be dangerous
|-
! Hold Person
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/540/
|
|-
! Holy Aura
| 8
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/145/
|
|-
! Hunter's Mark
| 1
| Ranger
| Divination
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/11/
|
|-
! Hypnotic Pattern
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/722/
|
|-
! Ice Storm
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
|
|-
! Identify
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/9/
|
|-
! Illusory Script
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1288/
|
|-
! Imprisonment
| 9
| Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/U4rwlvMEoj0
|
|-
! Incendiary Butt
| 8
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/139/
|
|-
! Inflict Wounds
| 1
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/Kcd44VfN-Ro?t=3m24s
|
|-
! Insect Plague
| 5
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1127/
|
|-
! Instant Summons
| 6
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/123/
| What if about fairy demographics which are "summoned" to the first laugh of a child
|-
! Invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1080/
|
|-
! Irresistible Dance
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/878/
|
|-
! Jump
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/kT2Y6ftxilM?t=17m37s
|
|-
! Knock
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/530/
|
|-
! Legend Lore
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1350/
|
|-
! Lesser Restoration
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/567/
|
|-
! Levitate
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/520/
|
|-
! Light
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/
|
|-
! Lightning Bolt
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/109/
|
|-
! Locate Animals or Plants
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1826/
|
|-
! Locate Creature
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1747/
|
|-
! Locate Object
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://bfy.tw/Dh
|
|-
! Longstrider
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1065/
|
|-
! Mage Armor
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1636/
|
|-
! Mage Hand
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1812/
|
|-
! Magic Circle
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Magic Jar
| 6
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1021/
|
|-
! Magic Missile
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1356/
|
|-
! Magic Mouth
| 2
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/37/
|
|-
! Magic Weapon
| 2
| Paladin, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/81/
|
|-
! Magnificent Mansion
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/TamwFUUd9Yk?t=10m29s
|
|-
! Major Image
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/980/
|
|-
! Mass Cure Wounds
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1793/
|
|-
! Mass Heal
| 9
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/1Cj8d6EcFp0
|
|-
! Mass Healing Word
| 3
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1520/
|
|-
! Mass Suggestion
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1264/
|
|-
! Maze
| 8
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/246/
|
|-
! Meld into Stone
| 3
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/V5PlKZRQVgQ
|
|-
! Mending
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1780
|
|-
! Message
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1782/
|
|-
! Meteor Swarm
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1249/
|
|-
! Mind Blank
| 8
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1145/
|
|-
! Minor Illusion
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1492/
|
|-
! Mirage Arcane
| 7
| Bard, Druid, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/806/
|
|-
! Mislead
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1488/
|
|-
! Misty Step
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/126/
|
|-
! Modify Memory
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1156/
|
|-
! Moonbeam
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1738/
|
|-
! Move Earth
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/723/
|
|-
! Nondetection
| 3
| Bard, Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/937/
|
|-
! Pass Without Trace
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LHBzVTCO3nM?t=4m32s
|
|-
! Passwall
| 5
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1608/
|
|-
! Phantasmal Killer
| 4
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/
|
|-
! Phantom Steed
| 3
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/U3JnZEzoL6M
|
|-
! Planar Ally
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Planar Binding
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1956/
|
|-
! Plane Shift
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/803/
|
|-
! Plant Growth
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/yV9wy9ucXgc
|
|-
! Poison Spray
| 0
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/144/
|
|-
! Polymorph
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1094/
|
|-
! Power Word Kill
| 9
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://youtu.be/VHR0EfYACAI?t=13m51s
|
|-
! Power Word Stun
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/
|
|-
! Prayer of Healing
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/418/
|
|-
! Prestidigitation
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/942/
|
|-
! Prismatic Spray
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/657/
|
|-
! Prismatic Wall
| 9
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1271/
|
|-
! Private Sanctum
| 4
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1663/#74b2196a-34fa-11e8-8001-42010a8e0006
|
|-
! Produce Flame
| 0
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/386/
|
|-
! Programmed Illusion
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/303/
|
|-
! Project Image
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/bR0Ubck0IRA
|
|-
! Protection from Energy
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/556/
|
|-
! Protection from Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1303/
|
|-
! Protection from Poison
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1305/
|
|-
! Purify Food and Drink
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ONSWw4aBBLg
|
|-
! Raise Dead
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/599/
|
|-
! Ray of Enfeeblement
| 2
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/526/
|
|-
! Ray of Frost
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/312/
|
|-
! Regenerate
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1024/
|
|-
! Reincarnate
| 5
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/WbKrlJgwI4A?t=17m33s
|
|-
! Remove Curse
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/391/
|
|-
! Resilient Sphere
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1248/
|
|-
! Resistance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/730/
|
|-
! Resurrection
| 7
| Bard, Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com
|
|-
! Reverse Gravity
| 7
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1115/
|
|-
! Revivify
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/346/
|
|-
! Rope Trick
| 2
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
|
|-
! Sacred Flame
| 0
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://www.nasa.gov/sun
|
|-
! Sanctuary
| 1
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qQVlGrwG9yo?t=11m49s
|
|-
! Scorching Ray
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/729
|
|-
! Scrying
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://archive.org/donate/
|
|-
! Secret Chest
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1762/
|
|-
! See invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/401/
|
|-
! Seeming
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
|
|-
! Sending
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/352/
|
|-
! Sequester
| 7
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/646/
|
|-
! Shapechange
| 9
| Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/-aWH3-46slI?t=6m4s
|
|-
! Shatter
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/137/
|
|-
! Shield
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/916/
|
|-
! Shield of Faith
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/129/
|
|-
! Shillelagh
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LXxdC9X3hxg?t=8m6s
|
|-
! Shocking Grasp
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/242/
|
|-
! Silence
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Ranger
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/525/
|
|-
! Silent Image
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1416/
|
|-
! Simulacrum
| 7
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Qo1Aj_leEo
|
|-
! Sleep
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/320/
|
|-
! Sleet Storm
| 3
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/511/
|
|-
! Slow
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/162/
|
|-
! Speak with Animals
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1879/
|
|-
! Speak with Plants
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/70/
|
|-
! Spider Climb
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/136/
|
|-
! Spike Growth
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/67/
|
|-
! Spirit Guardians
| 3
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/695/
|
|-
! Spiritual Weapon
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/A1gTbnB-Gps?t=17m2s
|
|-
! Stinking Butt
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1066/
|
|-
! Stone Shape
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/135/
|
|-
! Stoneskin
| 4
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LlKnEgPEGmA
|
|-
! Storm of Vengeance
| 9
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/93/
|
|-
! Suggestion
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/672
|
|-
! Sunbeam
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/141/
|
|-
! Sunburst
| 8
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/115/
|
|-
! Telekinesis
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/3/
|
|-
! Telepathic Bond
| 5
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1504/
|
|-
! Thaumaturgy
| 0
| Cleric
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1131/
|
|-
! Thunderwave
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/140/
|
|-
! Tiny Hut
| 3
| Bard, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/905/
|
|-
! Tongues
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1137
|
|-
! Tree Stride
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/IDBcGgjtFRs?t=1m3s
|
|-
! True Polymorph
| 9
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| (no link?)
|
|-
! True Resurrection
| 9
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7-n8TZqm9Ic?t=12m36
|
|-
! True Seeing
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://geekwagon.net/projects/xkcd1190/
|
|-
! True Strike
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| S
| https://youtu.be/wWOVS0XQmPM?t=12m11s
|
|-
! Unseen Servant
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/958/
|
|-
! Vampiric Touch
| 3
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/98/
|
|-
! Vicious Mockery
| 0
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/732/
|
|-
! Wall of Fire
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/fires/main/usa/index.html
|
|-
! Wall of Force
| 5
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/147/
|
|-
! Wall of Ice
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
|
|-
! Wall of Stone
| 5
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2003/of03-001/htmldocs/images/chart.pdf
|
|-
! Wall of Thorns
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1970/
|
|-
! Warding Bond
| 2
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1188/
|
|-
! Water Breathing
| 3
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/969/
|
|-
! Water Walk
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1599/
|
|-
! Web
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/195/
|
|-
! Weird
| 9
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1501/
|
|-
! Wind Walk
| 6
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/zpahjcaRt6w?t=12m27s
|
|-
! Wind Wall
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/66/
|
|-
! Wish
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1086/
|
|-
! Zone of Truth
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/adventure-zone
| A reference to the Adventure Zone podcast by the McElroy family, specifically the character Merle Highchurch, who is well known for using this spell in possibly unhelpful situations.
|}

=====Submenu Spells=====
These 9 spells all appear with an arrow and open submenus when hovered on. The submenus are all actually from different parts of the context menu. Several of the spells are "teleportation/transportation" related which might explain why they lead you to a different place in the menu.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Submenu !! Explanation
|-
! Antimagic Field
| 8
| Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S M
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Banishment
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Do Crimes menu (even without unlocking it via Enable Dark Web)
|
|-
! Blink
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Counterspell
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Delayed Blast Fireball
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Help menu
|
|-
! Dimension Door
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| File - Open - C:\ - Bookmarks submenu
|
|-
! Teleportation Circle
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, M
| Games menu
|
|-
! Transport via Plants
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Games menu
|
|-
! Word of Recall
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| Utilities menu
|
|}

=====Effect Spells=====
These 10 spells activate different JavaScript functions that affect the page in various ways, permanent or temporary, that are suggestive of the spell that was cast.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Effect !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Splash
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Causes the background to change color between red, yellow, chartreuse, blue, fuchsia, and blue-violet randomly every 300ms.
| Using LSD ('acid') often causes vibrant colors to 'splash' and swivel around one's visual field.
|-
! Animate Objects
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Causes most parts of the page to begin shifting in place randomly every 100ms.
| The parts, or "objects" on the page are being "animated".
|-
! Blur
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V
| Causes the comic and most text to blur.
| Largely self-explanatory. In D&D, the Blur spell blurs one's body to make it harder to hit. This one blurs the elements on the page.
|-
! Conjure Animals
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Adds a rabbit image of a random size next to the comic.
| Conjures an image of an animal.
|-
! Darkness
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| Causes the comic to disappear and the background to turn black.
| In D&D, the Darkness spell conjures darkness. This does largely the same thing.
|-
! Darkvision
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| Causes the background to turn gray and the comic to fade. However, it does not appear to work.
|
|-
! Fireball
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Causes the page background to turn red then slowly turn white.
| Fireballs caused by nuclear weapons generally appear reddish-white.
|-
! Mirror Image
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| Causes the entire page to be mirrored on the vertical axis.
| Here, Mirror Image "mirrors" the image, instead of conjuring "mirror images" of yourself.
|-
! Symbol
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Changes all text on the page to use Wingdings, Webdings, Symbol, or Zapf Dingbats.
| These are all {{w|dingbat}} fonts which replace text with symbols.
|-
! Time Stop
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| Pauses any currently ongoing effects. (But does not cancel them)
| Time Stop is a spell that stops time. This would make sense to stop ongoing effects.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Empty frame with Cueball standing slightly right of center.]

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Editor's Note: Today's comic is optimized for local viewing. To see the full version, just save a copy of the image!

==Trivia==
*On Monday, April 1st, 2019 [[2131: Emojidome]], an April Fools' comic was released, making it look like the missing April Fools' Day comic in 2017 was an [[1818:_Rayleigh_Scattering#No_April_Fools.27_Day_comic_in_2017|outlier]].
*Here is an example of how the game looks when entered:
[[File:1975_Right_Click_Systems_menu.png]]
*This is broken on iPadOS.
* The [https://github.com/xkcd/alto source code] for the comic was released on GitHub.

{{comic discussion}}



[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Buns]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics with audio]]
[[Category:Chronicles of Narnia]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]

111: Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection?

2025-04-10T02:46:18Z

SkiesShaper: Undo revision 372074 by 198.41.227.197 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 111
| date = June 5, 2006
| title = Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection?
| image = firefox wicca.png
| titletext = ThisadpaidforbythecounciltopromoteMicrosoftandChristianity. Remember, The Bible is Closed Source.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic charts the number of members of the religion {{w|Wicca}} against the number of times the {{w|Firefox}} web browser was downloaded, with the implication being that Firefox usage causes involvement in Wicca. In juxtaposing these almost certainly unrelated phenomena, Randall highlights the common error of assuming that {{w|Correlation_and_dependence|correlation}} implies {{w|Causality|causation}}. When two variables exhibit similar trends, this is often taken as proving that one is causing the other. However, such correlation may have come about through pure coincidence, and not indicate any link between the two at all. This is particularly a problem when examining a large number of variables: the chances of finding a [http://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations coincidental correlation] increase exponentially as more variables are added. It may also be the case that a third factor is causally linked to both outcomes. In this case, it is plausible that the increasing ubiquity of internet access has resulted in increased demand for Firefox, and also in greater capacity to share the ideas of Wicca.

Randall further illustrates one common, and perhaps destructive, use of illusory correlation in the bottom half of the image. The appearance of the symbol for {{w|Internet Explorer}}, a rival web browser, and the cross, representing Christianity, imply that this graph is an attack ad promoted by Microsoft and Christianity to gain an advantage over their competitors.

The title text is reminiscent of political commercials, which often tell you who paid for them very quickly. This high speed is represented by all the words in the title text being strung together. The last sentence is a play on the term of {{w|Closed source software|closed source software}}, which Internet Explorer is, as opposed to Firefox, which is open source in development. In a similar vein, the Bible can be considered "closed source" due to [http://kingjbible.com/revelation/22.htm God's prohibition on altering its contents].

==Transcript==
:[A graph is shown with a positive slope.]
:[Y axis]: Membership in Wicca
:[X axis]: Total Firefox Downloads
:[Internet Explorer icon.]
:<big>K</big>EEP TH<big>E</big>
:FAITH
:[Outline of a cross.]

==Trivia==

This type of [https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/false-cause statistical ploy] is used again in a few other comics, like [[523: Decline]], [[552: Correlation]], and [[925: Cell Phones]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Religion]]

3066: Cosmic Distance Calibration

2025-04-10T01:24:50Z

SkiesShaper: swapped part of a sentence back around

{{comic
| number = 3066
| date = March 21, 2025
| title = Cosmic Distance Calibration
| image = cosmic_distance_calibration_2x.png
| imagesize = 317x409px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = This is the biggest breakthrough since astronomers noticed that the little crosshairs around red giant stars starting to burn helium are all the same size.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
Astronomical photographs sometimes have various labels added for the objects in them, such as names, distances, stellar classifications, etc. The comic interprets the labels next to stars in the image as actual objects in space, which is absurd because, among other reasons, they are in English, they could be observed from other distances and angles where they wouldn't be correct, they wouldn't stay in place by the star, and probably a hundred other reasons. If these labels were to become astrophysical objects in reality, made of any kind of matter we're aware of, it would quickly result in major changes to the universe. As each of these labels would need to be clearly visible from an observatory, they would require monstrous size — maybe even big enough to collapse into black holes when applied to particularly distant stars. They would also create a sudden lack of need for themselves, as the stars would be gravitationally attracted to their respective labels and promptly destroyed.

The label in this image appears to be pointing to a star in the spiral galaxy M106 (also known as "{{w|Messier 106}}" and "NGC 4258"), located between 22 and 25 million light-years (MLY) away from Earth and compatible with the 23.6163 MLY shown in the comic.

The title text extends the main joke by suggesting that the "crosshairs" around red giant stars, put into an image by an astronomer to indicate those stars starting to burn helium, are actual objects in space which are of a standardized size when seen from Earth. One such set of crosshairs can be seen in the comic. Stars at this stage of stellar evolution are of particular astronomical interest because they all have the {{w|Standard candles|same absolute brightness}}, allowing their distance to be determined because the observed luminosity is a simple inverse-distance-squared falloff from a known original value. This is referred to as the "{{w|tip of the red-giant branch}}" (TRGB) distance calculation method, referring to the red-giant region of the {{w|Hertzsprung–Russell diagram}}. This allows estimation of distances not only to the stars themselves, but also to distant galaxies that contain them. In the weeks before this comic appeared, [https://science.nasa.gov/missions/hubble/nasas-webb-hubble-telescopes-affirm-universes-expansion-rate-puzzle-persists/ findings based on measurements of star and galaxy distances] reinforced a longstanding quandary in cosmology known as the {{w|Hubble tension}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Need to further fix grammar and improve flow.}}
:[Ponytail is standing behind a lectern, pointing towards a large screen behind her with a stick. On the screen is a scattering of small, hard-to-make-out galaxies and stars with illegible writing next to them. On the screen behind Ponytail, one of these stars has been circled, and there are graphics indicating it is being magnified along with the text next to it. At the first level of magnification the text next to this star remains somewhat illegible, but at the second level it is readable, albeit partially cutoff and blurry.]

:[First level of magnification (... represents cut-off text)]:
:M106 0-06832
:Distance:
:23.6163 MLY (27...

:[Second level of magnification (... represents cut-off text)]:
:M106 0-06...
:Distance:
:23.6163 MLY...

:[Caption below the panel]:
:Cosmology News: New telescopes are finally powerful enough to read the little labels next to stars showing how far away they are.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Telescopes]]

3066: Cosmic Distance Calibration

2025-04-10T01:22:10Z

SkiesShaper: further improved clarity

{{comic
| number = 3066
| date = March 21, 2025
| title = Cosmic Distance Calibration
| image = cosmic_distance_calibration_2x.png
| imagesize = 317x409px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = This is the biggest breakthrough since astronomers noticed that the little crosshairs around red giant stars starting to burn helium are all the same size.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
Astronomical photographs sometimes have various labels added for the objects in them, such as names, distances, stellar classifications, etc. The comic interprets the labels next to stars in the image as actual objects in space, which is absurd because, among other reasons, they are in English, they could be observed from other distances and angles where they wouldn't be correct, they wouldn't stay in place by the star, and probably a hundred other reasons. If these labels were to become astrophysical objects in reality, made of any kind of matter we're aware of, it would quickly result in major changes to the universe. As each of these labels would need to be clearly visible from an observatory, they would require monstrous size — maybe even big enough to collapse into black holes when applied to particularly distant stars. They would also create a sudden lack of need for themselves, as the stars would be gravitationally attracted to their respective labels and promptly destroyed.

The label in this image appears to be pointing to a star in the spiral galaxy M106 (also known as "{{w|Messier 106}}" and "NGC 4258"), located between 22 and 25 million light-years (MLY) away from Earth and compatible with the 23.6163 MLY shown in the comic.

The title text extends the main joke by suggesting that the "crosshairs" around red giant stars, put into an image by an astronomer to indicate those stars starting to burn helium, are actual objects in space which are of a standardized size when seen from Earth. One such set of crosshairs can be seen in the comic. Stars at this stage of stellar evolution are of particular astronomical interest because they all have the {{w|Standard candles|same absolute brightness}}, allowing their distance to be determined because the observed luminosity is a simple inverse-distance-squared falloff from a known original value. This is referred to as the "{{w|tip of the red-giant branch}}" (TRGB) distance calculation method, referring to the red-giant region of the {{w|Hertzsprung–Russell diagram}}. This allows estimation of distances not only to the stars themselves, but also to distant galaxies that contain them. In the weeks before this comic appeared, [https://science.nasa.gov/missions/hubble/nasas-webb-hubble-telescopes-affirm-universes-expansion-rate-puzzle-persists/ findings based on measurements of star and galaxy distances] reinforced a longstanding quandary in cosmology known as the {{w|Hubble tension}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Need to further fix grammar and improve flow.}}
:[Ponytail is standing behind a lectern, pointing towards a large screen behind her with a stick. On the screen is a scattering of small, hard-to-make-out galaxies and stars with illegible writing next to them. On the screen behind Ponytail, one of these stars has been circled, and there are graphics indicating it, along with the text next to it, is being magnified. At the first level of magnification the text next to this star remains somewhat illegible, but at the second level it is readable, albeit partially cutoff and blurry.]

:[First level of magnification (... represents cut-off text)]:
:M106 0-06832
:Distance:
:23.6163 MLY (27...

:[Second level of magnification (... represents cut-off text)]:
:M106 0-06...
:Distance:
:23.6163 MLY...

:[Caption below the panel]:
:Cosmology News: New telescopes are finally powerful enough to read the little labels next to stars showing how far away they are.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Telescopes]]

3066: Cosmic Distance Calibration

2025-04-10T01:16:19Z

SkiesShaper: rewrote parts of transcript for clarity

{{comic
| number = 3066
| date = March 21, 2025
| title = Cosmic Distance Calibration
| image = cosmic_distance_calibration_2x.png
| imagesize = 317x409px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = This is the biggest breakthrough since astronomers noticed that the little crosshairs around red giant stars starting to burn helium are all the same size.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
Astronomical photographs sometimes have various labels added for the objects in them, such as names, distances, stellar classifications, etc. The comic interprets the labels next to stars in the image as actual objects in space, which is absurd because, among other reasons, they are in English, they could be observed from other distances and angles where they wouldn't be correct, they wouldn't stay in place by the star, and probably a hundred other reasons. If these labels were to become astrophysical objects in reality, made of any kind of matter we're aware of, it would quickly result in major changes to the universe. As each of these labels would need to be clearly visible from an observatory, they would require monstrous size — maybe even big enough to collapse into black holes when applied to particularly distant stars. They would also create a sudden lack of need for themselves, as the stars would be gravitationally attracted to their respective labels and promptly destroyed.

The label in this image appears to be pointing to a star in the spiral galaxy M106 (also known as "{{w|Messier 106}}" and "NGC 4258"), located between 22 and 25 million light-years (MLY) away from Earth and compatible with the 23.6163 MLY shown in the comic.

The title text extends the main joke by suggesting that the "crosshairs" around red giant stars, put into an image by an astronomer to indicate those stars starting to burn helium, are actual objects in space which are of a standardized size when seen from Earth. One such set of crosshairs can be seen in the comic. Stars at this stage of stellar evolution are of particular astronomical interest because they all have the {{w|Standard candles|same absolute brightness}}, allowing their distance to be determined because the observed luminosity is a simple inverse-distance-squared falloff from a known original value. This is referred to as the "{{w|tip of the red-giant branch}}" (TRGB) distance calculation method, referring to the red-giant region of the {{w|Hertzsprung–Russell diagram}}. This allows estimation of distances not only to the stars themselves, but also to distant galaxies that contain them. In the weeks before this comic appeared, [https://science.nasa.gov/missions/hubble/nasas-webb-hubble-telescopes-affirm-universes-expansion-rate-puzzle-persists/ findings based on measurements of star and galaxy distances] reinforced a longstanding quandary in cosmology known as the {{w|Hubble tension}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Need to further fix grammar and improve flow.}}
:[Ponytail is standing behind a lectern, pointing with a stick towards a large screen behind her. On the screen is a scattering of small, hard-to-make-out galaxies and stars, with illegible writing next to them. On the screen behind Ponytail, one of these stars has been circled, and there are graphics indicating it is being magnified along with the text next to it. At the first level of magnification the text next to this star remains somewhat illegible, but at the second it is readable, albeit partially cutoff and blurry.]

:[First zoom in (... represents cut-off text):]
:M106 0-06832
:Distance:
:23.6163 MLY (27...

:[Second zoom in (... represents cut-off text):]
:M106 0-06...
:Distance:
:23.6163 MLY...

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Cosmology News: New telescopes are finally powerful enough to read the little labels next to stars showing how far away they are.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Telescopes]]

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-10T00:56:19Z

SkiesShaper: added information on Guglielmo Marconi which I believe is pertinent

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a comment - did you know it's free to host a discussion on Wikipedia talk pages?- Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].

After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going"
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns 7 clickable cats all over the comic (nonrandomly), including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
** An error for too many errors.
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14." Constants include
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)
** Pi (3.14159...)
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to the wikipedia page [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Mathematics Talk:Mathematics] or alternatively [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Romance Talk:Romance]

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.
* Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop
* Cueball sitting in front of his desk, with the laptop and chair in standard positions

There is also an image of a cat that moves around when you reload the page. It moves slightly when you move your mouse over it to "pet" it. It has its own title text of :3 Clicking it will send a cat fact notification.

The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.

The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

Talk:3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-10T00:35:13Z

SkiesShaper:

So...this is the April Fool's comic, if I'm not mistaken... Oh ye of little faith! [[Special:Contributions/172.71.26.106|172.71.26.106]] 20:00, 9 April 2025 (UTC)

I turned this on thinking it would just be a few every so often but I quickly realized how this is xkcd and it doesn't "joke". I had to turn this off because it disrupted my schoolwork by popping up every fricking 5 minutes

Apparently my employer (or ublock) is keeping me from experiencing the full effect of any notifications. All I get is "An *actual* error has occurred. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.91.173|162.158.91.173]] 20:52, 9 April 2025 (UTC)

What the heck are the "Zoom Notification" ones, with just a pair of numbers? Now that I've been sitting with this for a little bit, they're by far the most common notifications, and the most mysterious. What is "zoom"ing or should be zoomed-in-on or whatever, and what do the two numbers signify? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.22.75|172.68.22.75]] 20:35, 9 April 2025 (UTC)
:I think they're coordinates. So far (x,y) has had x from 4 fo 73 (that I've seen) and y from 2 to 28. That gives a tad over 2000 possible combinations, but omething tells me there won't be more than 500 or so in total. Quite a few y=24 (not yet adjacent by x), and any given x has 0 to 3 different y partners (so far). They ''do'' repeat (I'm not recording how many times, but I'm scatterplotting what I get). The ones prefixed with "oh look!" are tightly clustered in x=6..13 and y=4..11, so far, with no non-"oh look!" ones there, so I'm plotting them in a different marker. I ''suspect'', after many many more Zoom Notifications, I'll be left with (enough of) a pixelated image's pixels (of two types, background colour excluded), or else I'm doing it wrong and I should be drawing lines between the dots, but I never managed to grab them all, so I'm relying on it being a random "spraygun droplets" sort of image-reveal. (Still some way to go...) [[Special:Contributions/172.71.241.66|172.71.241.66]] 23:08, 9 April 2025 (UTC)

Made a new page called [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]], much like [[1506: xkbutt/List of Permalinks]]. I’m hoping that we can put all of the possible notifications into the table, along with any possible images that go along with it and an explanation (if necessary). '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 21:26, 9 April 2025 (UTC)
:I think it might be a good idea to make the table something more like source/name/notification, because there are chains of notifications where the name changes, like the How Many Times Can You Click This? notification. --[[User:Magicalus|Magicalus]] ([[User talk:Magicalus|talk]]) 23:19, 9 April 2025 (UTC)

I clicked on the silence notifications at a cost button a lot and it set Cueball's PC on fire?

I found what is presumably the source code (?) of the comic through the transcript. It’s all JS pages. No idea what they mean (I’m not good with code), but I’m sure that there are some on here that can help dissect it. '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 21:50, 9 April 2025 (UTC)
:https://xkcd.com/3074/marconi/manifest.json
:https://xkcd.com/3074/marconi/static/js/42.4f5b21b3.js
:https://xkcd.com/3074/marconi/static/js/index.js?v=1

I have a sneaking suspicion the Zoom Notifications are sketching out an image of some sort
(Update: after plotting like 60 of them no apparent pattern is to be found) [[User:SkiesShaper|SkiesShaper]] ([[User talk:SkiesShaper|talk]]) 22:24, 9 April 2025 (UTC)
: I've plotted 397 and it seems to be forming some kind of animal. Maybe a cat, given the comic theme? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.35.119|172.68.35.119]] 23:24, 9 April 2025 (UTC)
:That could make sense yeah - there is definitely an organic sort of pattern emerging from the points I've been plotting out [[User:SkiesShaper|SkiesShaper]] ([[User talk:SkiesShaper|talk]]) 00:35, 10 April 2025 (UTC)

Apparently one of the notifications is: "The Earth is spinning at a rate of 1 rpd" This is true if you round it, but not exact. The time it takes to rotate is called a sidereal day, and there's one extra sidereal day a year. Basically, there's one solar day removed in a year, because the Earth's motion around the sun cancels it out. Think of it with a tidally locked planet. It spins around once a year, but the sun never moves. Really there's 1.0027379 rotations per day. [[User:DanielLC|DanielLC]] ([[User talk:DanielLC|talk]]) 23:02, 9 April 2025 (UTC)

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T23:15:54Z

SkiesShaper:

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DELAYED BOT - Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].

After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going"
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns several clickable cats on the comic.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked.
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
** An error for too many errors.
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates. Prefixed with "oh look! if both numbers are prime"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14." Constants include
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)
** Pi (3.14159...)
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.
* Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop

There is also an image of a cat that moves around when you reload the page. It moves slightly when you move your mouse over it to "pet" it. It has its own title text of :3 Clicking it will send a cat fact notification.

The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

Talk:3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:42:20Z

SkiesShaper:

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:38:07Z

SkiesShaper:

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DELAYED BOT - Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].

After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going"
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns several clickable cats on the comic.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked.
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates. Sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14." Constants include
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)
** Pi (3.14159...)
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.
* Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop

There is also an image of a cat that moves around when you reload the page. It moves slightly when you move your mouse over it to "pet" it. It has its own title text of :3

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:36:31Z

SkiesShaper: added constants which are used in some notifications

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DELAYED BOT - Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].

After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* One asking you to select a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}.
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns several clickable cats on the comic.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked.
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates. Sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14." Constants include
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)
** Pi (3.14159...)
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.
* Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop

There is also an image of a cat that moves around when you reload the page. It moves slightly when you move your mouse over it to "pet" it. It has its own title text of :3

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

Talk:3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:24:01Z

SkiesShaper:

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:22:06Z

SkiesShaper: Added a listing for the cat

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DELAYED BOT - Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].

After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}.
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns several clickable cats on the comic.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked.
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates. Sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14."
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.

There is also an image of a cat that moves around when you reload the page. It moves slightly when you move your mouse over it to "pet" it. It has its own title text of :3

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications

2025-04-09T22:18:09Z

SkiesShaper: /* Tables of Notifications */

Fill in a table with all the notifications, possible images that go along with it, and explanation. If anybody knows how to name a table, please let me know. Thanks! '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 21:25, 9 April 2025 (UTC)

==Description==
*15 notifications have been found so far for [[3074: Push Notifications]].
*Below is a list of all discovered notifications, any associated images, and an explanation of them
*There are different “sources” of notifications and the notifications will be sorted into tables by those sources

==Tables of Notifications==
{| class="wikitable sortable" style="font-family:monospace"
!Source
!Notification
!Image
!Explanation

|-
|New Comic
|An xkcd comic has been posted.
|
|
|}

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:17:29Z

SkiesShaper: removed redundant notification type

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DELAYED BOT - Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].

After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}.
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns several clickable cats on the comic.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked.
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates. Sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14."
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:15:14Z

SkiesShaper: Added explanations of the buttons

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DELAYED BOT - Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications.]]

After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}.
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns several clickable cats on the comic.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked.
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates. Sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14."
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel
* A set of coordinates
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:09:00Z

SkiesShaper: added a listing for one of the notifications

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DELAYED BOT - Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}.
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns several clickable cats on the comic.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked.
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates. Sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14."
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel
* A set of coordinates

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:05:12Z

SkiesShaper:

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DELAYED BOT - Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}.
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns several clickable cats on the comic.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked.
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates. Sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14."
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-09T22:04:11Z

SkiesShaper: added a listing for one of the notifications

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
}}
* To experience the interactivity, visit the [https://xkcd.com/3074/ original comic].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DELAYED BOT - Please write a better overall explanation and explain other functions of the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up.

Notification types include:
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes every 10 clicks, and after 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}.
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which spawns several clickable cats on the comic.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked.
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An HTTP malfunction with Zalgo text indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** An error for not enough errors.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates. Sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"
* "Constant reminders" stating what a mathematical constant's value will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14."
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city.
* A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A "word game" notification where you are invited to pick a word, and informed you will be notified when anyone else picks it as their word

Comic images include:
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.
* Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, shielding his face with his arm from a tentacle coming out of the laptop screen.
* Cueball spinning in his chair.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.
* The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.
* Cueball sitting on the desk, with a sword leaning against the desk.
* The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk.
* Cueball sitting at his desk, but with the laptop much larger.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]