830: Genetic Analysis

2022-06-01T19:14:56Z

The gay sexual escapades of Davidy22, and his buttbuddy Kynde:

{{comic
| number = 830
| date = December 6, 2010
| title = Genetic Ana[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegianslysis
| image = genetic_analysis.png
| titletext = There's still a chance you were conceived via IVF. But we've checked your mom's college yearbook photos, and whether or not she and your father had sex, it's clear that... listen, I know this is hard for you.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Genetic testing}} is a medical procedure where researchers analyze your DNA and family history to determine if you have elevated risk factors for diseases such as heart conditions and cancer. Here, the doctor appears to be delivering the results of [[Cueball]]'s genetic test but instead tells him that his parents had sex at some point.

People generally don't like thinking about their parents having sex, but it obviously happened, since having sex is usually the precondition for having children,{{Citation needed}} so this test result is completely unsurprising. If the doctor only came to this conclusion after analyzing genes on several of Cueball's chromosomes, this could have been done in order to verify that Cueball's DNA indeed resembles the DNA of his supposed parents i.e., that the people whom he has always viewed as his parents are indeed his genetic parents. However, the alternative might be even more disturbing.

The title text notes that he could be an {{w|in-vitro fertilization}} baby, which does not require the parents to directly have sex. However, it seems to suggest that Cueball's mother was very attractive in her college years (or that she was pregnant). Thus, Cueball's mother probably did have sex (regardless of whether or not it was with Cueball's father). This is a reference to the stereotype that college students engage in large amounts of sex.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: Did my genetic tests come back?
:Megan: Yeah. Sit down.
:Cueball: Is it bad news? What are my risk factors?

:[Cueball is now sitting in the chair awaiting her answer. Megan looks down at the clipboard.]
:Megan: We can't be sure about this, but we've analyzed genes on several of your chromosomes and it's hard to avoid the conclusion:

:[Megan puts down the clipboard and looks at Cueball as she delivers her news. Cueball puts his hands to his face in dismay.]
:Megan: At some point, your parents had sex.
:Cueball: Oh God!
:Megan: Stay calm! It's possible it was just once!
:Cueball: I... I need to be alone.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Biology]]

2627: Types of Scopes

2022-06-01T19:14:46Z

The gay sexual escapades of Davidy22, and his buttbuddy Kynde:

{{comic
| number = 2627
| date = June 1, 2022
| title = Types of [[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegians[[File:Flag of Norway.svg]]Wiki of norwegiansScopes
| image = types_of_scopes.png
| titletext = An x-ray gyroscope is used to determine exactly which toppings they included in the pita.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOTOSCOPE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

''Electron microscopes'', ''electron telescopes'' and ''radio telescopes'' are special forms of microscopes and telescopes, respectively. This comic explores what you could do with a hypothetical "electron ___-scope" and "radio ___-scope" for other words also ending in -scope (namely: periscope, stethoscope, kaleidoscope, gyroscope and horoscope).

{| class="wikitable"
|+ What the words could mean according to the comic
|-
! Word !! Regular ___ !! Electron ___ !! Radio ___
|-
| Microscope || A laboratory instrument used for magnifying small objects. || ''Really exists:'' A microscope that uses a beam of accelerated electrons as a source of illumination, has a higher resolution than a conventional microscope. || Simply a microscope that one would use when repairing a radio.
|-
| Telescope || An optical instrument used for observing distant objects. || ''{{w|Calorimetric Electron Telescope|''Really exists''}}: A type of telescope used to detect electrons and other high-energy particles, such as cosmic rays.'' || ''Really exists:'' A directional antenna used to detect radio waves from astronomical radio sources in the sky.
|-
| Periscope || Periscopes allow submarine crews to watch what happens above the water surface, without exposing the submarine to enemy observers, or enemy radars. In practice, periscope use is minimized because periscopes are still observable, but to a lesser degree. || An electron microscope seemingly mounted on a periscope. Examining enemy boats like a periscope, with the detail of an electron microsope. This would not be useful in combat. || In principle, the German navy has invented radio periscopes during World War 2. The {{w|Metox radar detector}}'s early antenna had to be built up after surfacing, and dismantled before diving. Later, the fixed ''Bali'' antenna could act like a true periscope, in order to detect aircraft and ships that were using radar to hunt submarines.

Radio signals do not propagate well in water, so raising a radio receiver above the water would be necessary for listening to NPR or any radio station which is not in the {{w|extremely low frequency}} band.
|-
| Stethoscope
|| A medical device for listening to sounds made by a patient's body, for example the heart. Has a disc-shaped resonator that is placed against the patient's skin.
|| If the resonator is emitting electromagnetic radiation, it could burn the skin due to its close proximity.
|| Normally, the sounds are transmitted to an earpiece that the examiner wears. There are also recording stethoscopes. A radio stethoscope would transmit the sound either directly via radio waves, or send it to a radio station such as NPR where it could then be broadcasted.
|-
| Kaleidoscope || A optical instrument which uses two or more tilted reflectors to show a regular symmetrical pattern || Seemingly a pun of electron "collide"-oscope, as electron collisions generate {{w|Bremsstrahlung}}. ||
|-
| Gyroscope || Gyroscopes are used for {{w|inertial navigation}}, for example. || Gyroscopes make stuff point in certain directions by spinning. An {{w|Electromagnet}} uses sometimes-spinning electric fields to induce a magnetic field, moving magnetic stuff and, in some instances, making it point in a certain direction. || In theory, radio waves could be sent around in a triangular pattern, thus replicating the existing {{w|ring laser gyroscope}}.
|-
| Horoscope
|| In common usage, predictions or advice given based on the position of stars and planets. Proven to be unscientific junk.
|| Predicting the position of a particle, such as an electron (possibly based on the position of stars and planets). In a funny twist, the exact location of an electron cannot be determined, due to Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.
|| Predictions or advice given based on the radiation emitted by exploding stars or galaxies.
|}

The third column often plays on different meanings of the word ''radio:'' 1) related to radiation and 2) a device for receiving radio communication or broadcasts.

The title text makes a pun on "gyroscope" and the Greek foods {{w|Gyros}} and {{w|Pita}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Content is a table, with column headings "Regular ''Blank'' Scope", "Electron ''Blank'' Scope", and "Radio ''Blank'' Scope". Row headings are "Micro", "Tele", "Peri", "Stetho", "Kaleido", "Gyro", and "Horo".

;Regular Microscope
:Look at small stuff
;Electron Microscope
:Look at ''really'' small stuff
;Radio Microscope
:Figure out why your radio broke
;Regular Telescope
:Look at stuff that's far away
;Electron Telescope
:Detect cosmic rays
;Radio Telescope
:Look at distant high-energy stuff
;Regular Periscope
:Look for enemy ships
;Electron Periscope
:Examine the hull of an enemy ship for structural flaws
;Radio Periscope
:Let the crew of your submarine listen to NPR
;Regular Stethoscope
:Listen to a patient's chest
;Electron Stethoscope
:Burn a patient's skin
;Radio Stethoscope
:Play the noises from a patient's chest on NPR
;Regular Kaleidoscope
:See cool shapes and colors
;Electron Kaleidoscope
:See cool Bremsstrahlung
;Radio Kaleidoscope
:Another word for the "Scan" button
;Regular Gyroscope
:Balance by spinning
;Electron Gyroscope
:Another word for electromagnet
;Radio Gyroscope
:Another word for turntable
;Regular Horoscope
:Get random life advice
;Electron Horoscope
:Predict a particle's quantum state
;Radio Horoscope
:Get random life advice from exploding galaxies
{{comic discussion}}

explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

830: Genetic Analysis

2627: Types of Scopes