explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2451: AI Methodology

2021-04-17T08:34:36Z

TheMattmaticianI: p-hacking rewrite

{{comic
| number = 2451
| date = April 16, 2021
| title = AI Methodology
| image = ai_methodology.png
| titletext = We've learned that weird spacing and diacritics in the methodology description are apparently the key to good research; luckily, we've developed an AI tool to help us figure out where to add them.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT. TRAINED BY AN ADVERSARIAL AI. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The joke in this comic is that the classifier sucks.

This comic shows Cueball giving a presentation of some description. He is reassuring his audience of the validity of his research's methodology, which he says is "AI-based". There are many issues that can arise from an AI-based methodology, such as lingering influence from its training data or a bad algorithm reducing the quality of the investigation.

Cueball seeks to reassure his audience by quantifying the quality of his methodology. He does this by creating yet another AI to rank methodologies. This would not actually improve the confidence of any audience member, as the AI would still have the same flaws as the methodology AI, due to being created by the same team.

Furthermore, the AI heavily favours the methodology of Cueball's AI, and may be biased. It shows a normal distribution, with a singular outlier to the far right with an arrow above. It can be inferred this datapoint represents the AI's methodology. It is a significant outlier, and as such it is probably not an accurate representation of Cueball's AI.

The title text is likely a continuation of Cueball's dialogue, saying his AI showed good research required weird spacing and diacritics in the methodology description. Cueball then used his AI to figure out where to put these into his own methodologies to improve his research. Adding weird symbols into a text doesn't improve the quality of the text {{Citation needed}} and hence Cueball may be doing something very similar to p-hacking, where data is manipualted to decrease the p-number, which represents the likelihood the data is a fluke. P-hacking is mentioned in [[882: Significant]]

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball stands in front of a projection on a screen and points with a stick to a histogram with a bell curve to the left and one bar to the far right marked with an arrow]
:Cueball: Despite our great research results, some have questioned our AI-based methodology.
:Cueball: But we trained a classifier on a collection of good and bad methodology sections, and it says ours is fine.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

2451: AI Methodology

2021-04-17T08:33:18Z

TheMattmaticianI: {{Citation needed}}

{{comic
| number = 2451
| date = April 16, 2021
| title = AI Methodology
| image = ai_methodology.png
| titletext = We've learned that weird spacing and diacritics in the methodology description are apparently the key to good research; luckily, we've developed an AI tool to help us figure out where to add them.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT. TRAINED BY AN ADVERSARIAL AI. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The joke in this comic is that the classifier sucks.

This comic shows Cueball giving a presentation of some description. He is reassuring his audience of the validity of his research's methodology, which he says is "AI-based". There are many issues that can arise from an AI-based methodology, such as lingering influence from its training data or a bad algorithm reducing the quality of the investigation.

Cueball seeks to reassure his audience by quantifying the quality of his methodology. He does this by creating yet another AI to rank methodologies. This would not actually improve the confidence of any audience member, as the AI would still have the same flaws as the methodology AI, due to being created by the same team.

Furthermore, the AI heavily favours the methodology of Cueball's AI, and may be biased. It shows a normal distribution, with a singular outlier to the far right with an arrow above. It can be inferred this datapoint represents the AI's methodology. It is a significant outlier, and as such it is probably not an accurate representation of Cueball's AI.

The title text is likely a continuation of Cueball's dialogue, saying his AI showed good research required weird spacing and diacritics in the methodology description. Cueball then used his AI to figure out where to put these into his own methodologies to improve his research. Adding weird symbols into a text doesn't improve the quality of the text {{Citation needed}} and hence Cueball may be doing something very similar to p-hacking, where data is manipualted to decrease the p-number, which represents the likelihood the data is a fluke. This is covered in [[882: Significant]]

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball stands in front of a projection on a screen and points with a stick to a histogram with a bell curve to the left and one bar to the far right marked with an arrow]
:Cueball: Despite our great research results, some have questioned our AI-based methodology.
:Cueball: But we trained a classifier on a collection of good and bad methodology sections, and it says ours is fine.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

2451: AI Methodology

2021-04-17T08:31:35Z

TheMattmaticianI: Furthered description

{{comic
| number = 2451
| date = April 16, 2021
| title = AI Methodology
| image = ai_methodology.png
| titletext = We've learned that weird spacing and diacritics in the methodology description are apparently the key to good research; luckily, we've developed an AI tool to help us figure out where to add them.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT. TRAINED BY AN ADVERSARIAL AI. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The joke in this comic is that the classifier sucks.

This comic shows Cueball giving a presentation of some description. He is reassuring his audience of the validity of his research's methodology, which he says is "AI-based". There are many issues that can arise from an AI-based methodology, such as lingering influence from its training data or a bad algorithm reducing the quality of the investigation.

Cueball seeks to reassure his audience by quantifying the quality of his methodology. He does this by creating yet another AI to rank methodologies. This would not actually improve the confidence of any audience member, as the AI would still have the same flaws as the methodology AI, due to being created by the same team.

Furthermore, the AI heavily favours the methodology of Cueball's AI, and may be biased. It shows a normal distribution, with a singular outlier to the far right with an arrow above. It can be inferred this datapoint represents the AI's methodology. It is a significant outlier, and as such it is probably not an accurate representation of Cueball's AI.

The title text is likely a continuation of Cueball's dialogue, saying his AI showed good research required weird spacing and diacritics in the methodology description. Cueball then used his AI to figure out where to put these into his own methodologies to improve his research. Adding weird symbols into a text doesn't improve the quality of the text [citation needed] and hence Cueball may be doing something very similar to p-hacking, where data is manipualted to decrease the p-number, which represents the likelihood the data is a fluke. This is covered in [[882: Significant]]

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball stands in front of a projection on a screen and points with a stick to a histogram with a bell curve to the left and one bar to the far right marked with an arrow]
:Cueball: Despite our great research results, some have questioned our AI-based methodology.
:Cueball: But we trained a classifier on a collection of good and bad methodology sections, and it says ours is fine.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

2451: AI Methodology

2021-04-17T08:21:22Z

TheMattmaticianI: Made a decent explanation

2400: Statistics

2020-12-18T23:33:45Z

TheMattmaticianI: Started explanation

{{comic
| number = 2400
| date = December 19, 2020
| title = Statistics
| image = statistics.png
| titletext = We reject the null hypothesis based on the 'hot damn, check out this chart' test.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a PLACEBO GROUP. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is another comic in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 pandemic}} of the {{w|coronavirus}} {{w|SARS-CoV-2}}, which causes {{w|COVID-19}}.

The main focus of the comic is a graph showing cases of COVID-19 versus time for two groups: one group received the vaccine and the other group did not

The advice here could be seen as the inverse of the "science tip" in [[2311: Confidence Interval]], in which the data was so ''bad'' that its error bars fell outside of the graph and were not shown.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Shown is a graph with the x-axis labeled "time" and the y-axis labeled "COVID cases." There is a black line on the graph labeled "placebo group", which has a roughly linear slope moving toward the top right corner. There is a red line labeled "vaccine group", which follows the black line for about an eighth of the width of the graph before leveling off.]
:Caption beneath the graph: Statistics tip: Always try to get data that's good enough that you don't need to do statistics on it

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:COVID-19]][[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Tips]]

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-12-12T07:53:00Z

TheMattmaticianI: Removed the 'this comic is incomplete label'

{{comic
| number = 2377
| date = October 26, 2020
| title = xkcd Phone 12
| image = xkcd_phone_12.png
| titletext = New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
}}

==Explanation==
This is the "12th" (actually the 8th) in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is also a reference to the recently released {{w|iPhone 12}}. However, there have only been 8 comics released, with the previous two being [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] and [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]].

The note about the xkcd Phone 12 and the xkcd Phone 12 Max (only for people named Max) is a joke about the different models of iPhone 12: iPhone 12, iPhone 12 Mini, iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max. The xkcd Phone 12 Max would be expected to have a larger screen, but it seems that this phone is also only for people with the name Max. If the phones are respectively placed, Max's (Maxes'?) phone is the smaller of the two models.

The slogan '"The only phone you'll ever own"' could be interpreted as something of a threat, which is believable given some of the purported features. The slogan has the "registered trademark" symbol, with that symbol supposedly itself trademarked, which is highly unlikely. It is similar to the phrase ''"The last suit you'll ever wear"'', describing the black suits worn by the Men In Black in the movie of the same name.

Multiple features are labelled on the phone that are common when advertising other products, but highly unusual in mobile phones, for comedic effect:

* '''Full drivetrain warranty''' — A common warranty feature for automobiles — see {{w|drivetrain}}. As a side note, the phone here would be cheaping out on the warranty if it were a car; a "drivetrain" warranty covers almost everything ''except'' the engine; only if it was a "{{w|powertrain}}" warranty would it cover the engine. A phone typically has none of these things, although this one seemingly does.
* '''Coated for easy swallowing''' — A common feature on solid medicines meant to be taken orally. Phones do not belong in the set of edible objects, much less orally-taken medicines{{Citation needed}}. Since some parents of young children let them teethe on their phones, this would be an undesirable feature. There may be a pun here, based on the larger smartphones being practically the same as the more {{w|Tablet_computer|minimal portable computers}}.
* '''Surgical-grade apps''' — "Surgical-grade steel" is sometime used as a selling point indicating quality materials. This feature suggests that the apps themselves are made from high-quality material, although this is absurd because an app is (as the name suggests) a software application, not any physical object that could be reasonably defined as 'surgical-grade' or not. Note that both hardware and software can be certified for {{w|Safety-critical_system|safety-critical applications}}.
* '''Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing''' — {{w|Magnet fishing}} is an activity for searching for objects that can be pulled in by a strong magnet. A 600 pound magnet can lift a 600 pound (272 kg) object (at Earth's surface). This would tend to make the phone stick to any iron or steel objects (such as refrigerators) and be impossible to remove with human strength, and only the strongest humans could pick up the phone even if it were properly insulated. It would also be impossible to separate two phones without destroying one of them if the interlocking feature were used. This feature would also erase any credit cards the owner puts in the vicinity of the phone, meaning this phone could not be put in one's pocket with a wallet. There is also a possibility that this is a reference to Apple’s new {{w|MagSafe}} accessory.
* '''Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque''' — This is a reference to {{w|ultrasonic toothbrush}}es. {{w|Oral-B}} does not produce any ultrasonic toothbrushes, but does produce ''{{w|sonic toothbrush}}es.'' There is a logical connection between electric toothbrushes and smartphones, namely they are both electronic and both vibrate; however, most phones cannot perform dentistry autonomously{{Citation needed}}.
* '''40 mL emergency water supply''' — 40 milliliters is equal to 40 cubic centimeters. For comparison, the iPhone 11 Pro Max's volume is just shy of 100 cubic centimeters; if the Phone 12 Max is similarly sized, then the water supply would take up over 40% of its total volume. In this day and age, many phones are water-resistant to some degree; nevertheless, shipping a phone with an interior consisting of a 3:2 ratio of electronics-to-water will surely lead to many short-circuited, inoperable phones. Furthermore, {{w|survival kit}}s often come with pouches that can hold several liters of water, in case of emergency. Because people typically take their phones with them everywhere they go, storing a survival kit inside the phone would be a life-saving feature. Unfortunately, 40cc of water is not enough to stave off thirst for a meaningful amount of time, extinguish a flame much larger than a candle's, or deal with most other situations which would constitute an emergency. Unless you are suitably proficient at {{w|Katara_(Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender)#Waterbending|waterbending}}, this feature is useless for its intended function. 40 milliliters is also the amount of fluid that a shot glass holds.
* '''Security feature: unmarked side buttons''' — Some vendors (particularly car dealers) try to explain away questionable User Interface decisions as "Security Features". Technically, if everyone (including the owner) has difficulty using it, it is secure... Here, no buttons are visible which could indicate they are, in fact, simply a touch sensitive surface, which would certainly be difficult to use as users would have to guess the area they should touch to use these "buttons". This might be a reference to a feature present in iPhone 12s where one can double-tap on the back to do a set action, which some websites have called a "[https://metro.co.uk/2020/10/28/how-to-find-the-secret-button-on-the-iphone-12-13493472/ secret button]".
* '''3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches''' — {{w|Inductive charging|Induction charging}} is a method that a number of modern phones advertise, allowing power to (inefficiently but 'conveniently') transfer into a device from a mains charging station or another device's battery without the need for plugging in cables. It transfers energy between safely tuned coils, that do not touch, though typically the case of one device must remain placed directly upon the other for the optimal transfer of charge between them. An electric arc can also be used to transfer electrical energy through the air through a lightning-like discharge. While arcs can transfer large amounts of energy quickly, the plasma generated would be very dangerous and damaging to the phone, charger, and immediate vicinity. The {{w|electrical breakdown}} voltage of air is approximately 3 kV / mm, which would allow a 3 MV potential to jump a distance of 100 cm (40 inches). 36 inches (91 cm), however, is within reach of a simple extension cord. {{w|Electrical_injury#Lethality|Shocks of 11,000 volts are usually lethal}}, so 3,000,000 volts of electricity (possibly from a complete {{w|Tesla coil}} assemblage) would require considerable protection.
* '''99.9% BPA- and hands- free''' — {{w|Bisphenol A}} (or BPA) is a compound that is used in making plastics. BPA has been found to exhibit hormone-like properties, so there is a movement to produce BPA-free plastics using alternative bisphenols. {{w|Hands-free}} describes using the device "without hands", e.g. using voice commands. This is important when using a device while driving. These are 2 unrelated ideas, which use the suffix "free" in different meanings ("BPA-free" means "containing no BPA", while "hands-free" means "your hands need not be used"). The construction "NOUN- and NOUN-ADJ" is normally only used with the meaning of "ADJ" repeated for both nouns, implying that this phone "contains no hands" (or possibly "your BPA is left free"). The "percentage free" description is also a standard form of advertising {{w|weasel word}}s, as remarked by Randall in [[641: Free]]. A food might be described as "90% fat-free" with the heavy implication that it has a tenth of the usual fat content, but likely really means "10% of the product is pure fat" (typically by weight or maybe pre-cooked volume) compared with perhaps 15% in the typical non-'fat-free' recipe. 0.1% of BPA is not an insignificant quantity given its possible effects, and is likely to be a higher leachable content if it is all concentrated in external trimmings. It is unclear what a tenth of a percent of a hand needs to do, to operate the device, but it does also mean that it is not as completely hands-free as implied. Or else it ''also'' implies that up to 0.1% of the phone contains ingredients sourced from human hands. At best, this could be skin cells from the workers (although phone assembly lines ''should'' be kept meticulously clean, to prevent damage to delicate components), or at worst, some workers could be losing hands into the assembly line due to poor safety practices.
* '''Extended release charge cable''' — Electronics manufacturers support standards to reduce time to fully recharge, e.g. Qualcomm {{w|Quick Charge}} standard. This is a reference to {{w|Modified-release dosage|"extended release" medication}}. It's unclear what purpose would be served by charging a phone slower than normal.
* '''Closed timelike curves''' — This label is applied to the curved corner of the phone. Randall may be making a visual joke by referring to the corner of the phone by a relativistic concept. {{w|Closed timelike curves}} is a world line in spacetime that is "closed", in that an object following that world line will return to its starting point in spacetime, which implies that the object would be able to go back in time. It could also be a reference to the [https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-13/apple-plans-ipad-like-design-for-next-iphone-smaller-homepod|''Bloomberg'' leaks] that predicted the sharper corners of the iPhone 12, the phone model this is designed on.
* '''Fits in standard shipping container''' - An {{w|intermodal shipping container}} is large enough to fit automobiles, raising the question of just how big this xkcd phone is. Other standard "containers" used for shipping items might be things like the FedEx, UPS, and USPS boxes, which often come in various sizes (small, medium, large) as well as their shipping envelopes, all of which could easily hold just about any phone that's out there.
* '''Interlocking, stackable''' — A quality of, among other things, LEGO bricks. Probably a bad idea to use this feature, given how close the phone is to critical mass. There are electronic boards designed for interlocking and stacking, such as {{w|Arduino}} and {{w|Raspberry Pi}} computers, which can have other boards attached to them (shields, hats) to add functionality, however it's unclear what advantage there would be to stacking multiple identical phones together.
* '''Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility''' — The {{w|Game Boy Printer}} was a thermal paper printer originally paired with the {{w|Game Boy Camera}}. This device was released in 1998 and discontinued in 2003, so this partnership would be obsolete.
* '''Sustain pedal''' — A {{w|sustain pedal}} is commonly associated with a digital keyboard or piano; it lets the note continue sounding when the key is released. It's unclear what purpose it would serve in a phone, although it might be used for the screaming mode in the title text.
* '''CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves''' — An allusion to the COVID-19 pandemic. CDC stands for Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the United States public health institute. In [[2284: Sabotage]], Randall "promised" to bring an annoying karaoke song to a party to hopefully discourage people from attending, but this phone will apparently do so automatically. "{{w|We Like to Party! (Vengaboys song)|We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)}}" is a 1998 Eurodance/techno hit by the Vengaboys, and is perhaps most familiar to Americans from a series of {{w|Six Flags}} ads.
* '''Sacrificial anode''' — Useful if something metal will be in a wet environment for a long time. Commonly used on bridges and boats, but it may be a 'feature' of this phone because of its built-in water reservoir. The {{w|sacrificial anode}} is made of a material with higher redox potential (typically zinc), and will corrode faster than the (more valuable) metal object it's attached to. It's unclear if the phone HAS a sacrificial anode or IS a sacrificial anode.
* '''Tactical helium reserve''' — Since 1925, the United States has had a {{w|National Helium Reserve|strategic helium reserve}}. Helium is very rare on earth and has important scientific and military uses, so it’s important to have a supply in case supplies disappear. But here we have a tactical helium reserve, which suggests it's smaller and focused on shorter-term goals. Compare {{w|strategic bombing}} focused on destroying entire cities or countries and {{w|tactical bombing}} aimed at destroying individual targets or military units. Helium also has the property of being lighter than air, so if this reserve is large enough, the phone could float away if let go. However, this is unlikely, as the phone boasts other, heavy components such as large magnets, a water reserve and a critical mass of fissile material.
* '''50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)''' — Indicates the phone contains fissile material. This "2x safety factor" means that if you put 2 phones next to each other, or put one phone next to a {{w|neutron reflector}}, you would have a {{w|criticality accident}}, which may explain why you would not own another phone after this one. A phone with this much fissile material would pose a radiation hazard. The "2x safety factor" claim may be related to physicist {{w|Richard Feynman|Richard Feynman's}} famous criticism of NASA in the {{w|Rogers Commission}} report on the space shuttle Challenger disaster. Feynman found that when he confronted NASA engineers with a part worn one third of the way through, which was not supposed to be worn through at all, the engineers claimed that this demonstrated a 3x safety factor rather than a failure of the part. This could mean that using the phone is harmful for some other reason (social media addiction?) but the xkcd phone has half as many users as it would need to cause a problem in this way.
* '''Shake for factory reset''' — A {{w|factory reset}} is often possible on electronic devices, and is usually accomplished either by pressing a button that is often well-protected against accidental contact, for an extended period or closing an electrical bridge. This one works like an {{w|Etch A Sketch|Etch-a-Sketch}}, which would not be preferred, as [http://www.ahajokes.com/com045.html slight disturbances] could easily cause massive losses of data. In the other hand, given that it weighs at least 600 lbs, it will probably not be shaking due to a user intentionally trying to delete their data.
* '''Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you''' — {{w|Norton (software)|Norton}} and {{w|McAfee}} (note spelling!) are competing software security companies, founded by {{w|Peter Norton}} and {{w|John McAfee}} respectively (though neither has any involvement with their name-sake companies any more). This "protection" combines the two of them and claims that Norton (the person) will defend you if McAfee (the person) attacks you. May have been inspired by [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/06/business/mcafee-arrested-tax-evasion.html John McAfee's recent arrest] which brought attention to the allegation that he had hired a hit man to kill his neighbor in Belize in 2012.

The title text mentions xkcd phone OS updates, including:
* '''Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid)''' — iOS 14 offers new features such as widgets on the home screen and changing of app icons, allowing for customization on a level not seen before on the platform. Here though, the "customization" hinges on a technicality, specifically of permutations: On a phone with, say, one million pixels, the number of ways one can place 20 icons is P(1000000,20)=9.998x10^119, an absolutely enormous number, but most people would not call two home screens where the only difference is that one icon is one pixel over a different configuration. Plus, Not having snap to grid would be incredibly unsatisfying, as it would make it very difficult to get icons lined up with each other.
* '''Dark mode (disables screen)''' — Dark mode is a popular feature on websites/apps with light backgrounds like Twitter and Reddit, changing the background to a dark color to help late-night users sleep better. Disabling the screen would not be a pleasant surprise when a user goes to turn on beloved dark mode. May be impossible to turn off if the screen is no longer touch sensitive when darkened unless the unmarked buttons can be used to disable it. Also a possible reason to want to use the shake-activated factory reset.
* '''Screaming mode (self-explanatory)''' — The phone screams. Reference to the screaming-while-falling [[1363: xkcd Phone|xkcd Phone 1]].
* '''Coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it)''' - This mysterious feature has a terrifying name, with even the developers refusing to test it out. This option would probably be very easy to accidentally tap, given the style of every xkcd Phone ever. Possibly activated with one of the unlabeled buttons making it even more dangerous. Coherent and Emission are associated with laser devices and the use of a laser could justify the helium reserve, and the Ultracapacitor implies a high energy throughput. Raises the question of who designs the phone if the people marketing it don't know what it does.

==Transcript==
:[The comic shows two smartphones: one taller and wider than the other. ]

:[Labels to the left of the larger smartphone:]
* Full drivetrain warranty
* Coated for easy swallowing
* Surgical-grade apps
* Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing
* Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque
* 40 mL emergency water supply
* Security feature: unmarked side buttons
* 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches
* 99.9% BPA- and hands- free
* Extended release charge cable
* Closed timelike curves

:[Labels to the right of the larger smartphone:]
* Fits in standard shipping container
* Interlocking, stackable

:[Labels to the right of the smaller smartphone:]
* Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility
* Sustain Pedal
* CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves
* Sacrificial anode
* Tactical helium reserve
* 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)
* Shake for factory reset
* Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

:[Text below the phone:]
:<big>The xkcd Phone 12* and 12 Max**</big>

:<nowiki>*Standard</nowiki> **For people named Max

:"The only phone you'll ever own"®™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-12-12T07:52:36Z

TheMattmaticianI: I think Closed timelike curves have been explained well enough

{{comic
| number = 2377
| date = October 26, 2020
| title = xkcd Phone 12
| image = xkcd_phone_12.png
| titletext = New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a PERSON NAMED MAX. Closed timelike curves need more explanation. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is the "12th" (actually the 8th) in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is also a reference to the recently released {{w|iPhone 12}}. However, there have only been 8 comics released, with the previous two being [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] and [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]].

The note about the xkcd Phone 12 and the xkcd Phone 12 Max (only for people named Max) is a joke about the different models of iPhone 12: iPhone 12, iPhone 12 Mini, iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max. The xkcd Phone 12 Max would be expected to have a larger screen, but it seems that this phone is also only for people with the name Max. If the phones are respectively placed, Max's (Maxes'?) phone is the smaller of the two models.

The slogan '"The only phone you'll ever own"' could be interpreted as something of a threat, which is believable given some of the purported features. The slogan has the "registered trademark" symbol, with that symbol supposedly itself trademarked, which is highly unlikely. It is similar to the phrase ''"The last suit you'll ever wear"'', describing the black suits worn by the Men In Black in the movie of the same name.

Multiple features are labelled on the phone that are common when advertising other products, but highly unusual in mobile phones, for comedic effect:

* '''Full drivetrain warranty''' — A common warranty feature for automobiles — see {{w|drivetrain}}. As a side note, the phone here would be cheaping out on the warranty if it were a car; a "drivetrain" warranty covers almost everything ''except'' the engine; only if it was a "{{w|powertrain}}" warranty would it cover the engine. A phone typically has none of these things, although this one seemingly does.
* '''Coated for easy swallowing''' — A common feature on solid medicines meant to be taken orally. Phones do not belong in the set of edible objects, much less orally-taken medicines{{Citation needed}}. Since some parents of young children let them teethe on their phones, this would be an undesirable feature. There may be a pun here, based on the larger smartphones being practically the same as the more {{w|Tablet_computer|minimal portable computers}}.
* '''Surgical-grade apps''' — "Surgical-grade steel" is sometime used as a selling point indicating quality materials. This feature suggests that the apps themselves are made from high-quality material, although this is absurd because an app is (as the name suggests) a software application, not any physical object that could be reasonably defined as 'surgical-grade' or not. Note that both hardware and software can be certified for {{w|Safety-critical_system|safety-critical applications}}.
* '''Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing''' — {{w|Magnet fishing}} is an activity for searching for objects that can be pulled in by a strong magnet. A 600 pound magnet can lift a 600 pound (272 kg) object (at Earth's surface). This would tend to make the phone stick to any iron or steel objects (such as refrigerators) and be impossible to remove with human strength, and only the strongest humans could pick up the phone even if it were properly insulated. It would also be impossible to separate two phones without destroying one of them if the interlocking feature were used. This feature would also erase any credit cards the owner puts in the vicinity of the phone, meaning this phone could not be put in one's pocket with a wallet. There is also a possibility that this is a reference to Apple’s new {{w|MagSafe}} accessory.
* '''Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque''' — This is a reference to {{w|ultrasonic toothbrush}}es. {{w|Oral-B}} does not produce any ultrasonic toothbrushes, but does produce ''{{w|sonic toothbrush}}es.'' There is a logical connection between electric toothbrushes and smartphones, namely they are both electronic and both vibrate; however, most phones cannot perform dentistry autonomously{{Citation needed}}.
* '''40 mL emergency water supply''' — 40 milliliters is equal to 40 cubic centimeters. For comparison, the iPhone 11 Pro Max's volume is just shy of 100 cubic centimeters; if the Phone 12 Max is similarly sized, then the water supply would take up over 40% of its total volume. In this day and age, many phones are water-resistant to some degree; nevertheless, shipping a phone with an interior consisting of a 3:2 ratio of electronics-to-water will surely lead to many short-circuited, inoperable phones. Furthermore, {{w|survival kit}}s often come with pouches that can hold several liters of water, in case of emergency. Because people typically take their phones with them everywhere they go, storing a survival kit inside the phone would be a life-saving feature. Unfortunately, 40cc of water is not enough to stave off thirst for a meaningful amount of time, extinguish a flame much larger than a candle's, or deal with most other situations which would constitute an emergency. Unless you are suitably proficient at {{w|Katara_(Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender)#Waterbending|waterbending}}, this feature is useless for its intended function. 40 milliliters is also the amount of fluid that a shot glass holds.
* '''Security feature: unmarked side buttons''' — Some vendors (particularly car dealers) try to explain away questionable User Interface decisions as "Security Features". Technically, if everyone (including the owner) has difficulty using it, it is secure... Here, no buttons are visible which could indicate they are, in fact, simply a touch sensitive surface, which would certainly be difficult to use as users would have to guess the area they should touch to use these "buttons". This might be a reference to a feature present in iPhone 12s where one can double-tap on the back to do a set action, which some websites have called a "[https://metro.co.uk/2020/10/28/how-to-find-the-secret-button-on-the-iphone-12-13493472/ secret button]".
* '''3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches''' — {{w|Inductive charging|Induction charging}} is a method that a number of modern phones advertise, allowing power to (inefficiently but 'conveniently') transfer into a device from a mains charging station or another device's battery without the need for plugging in cables. It transfers energy between safely tuned coils, that do not touch, though typically the case of one device must remain placed directly upon the other for the optimal transfer of charge between them. An electric arc can also be used to transfer electrical energy through the air through a lightning-like discharge. While arcs can transfer large amounts of energy quickly, the plasma generated would be very dangerous and damaging to the phone, charger, and immediate vicinity. The {{w|electrical breakdown}} voltage of air is approximately 3 kV / mm, which would allow a 3 MV potential to jump a distance of 100 cm (40 inches). 36 inches (91 cm), however, is within reach of a simple extension cord. {{w|Electrical_injury#Lethality|Shocks of 11,000 volts are usually lethal}}, so 3,000,000 volts of electricity (possibly from a complete {{w|Tesla coil}} assemblage) would require considerable protection.
* '''99.9% BPA- and hands- free''' — {{w|Bisphenol A}} (or BPA) is a compound that is used in making plastics. BPA has been found to exhibit hormone-like properties, so there is a movement to produce BPA-free plastics using alternative bisphenols. {{w|Hands-free}} describes using the device "without hands", e.g. using voice commands. This is important when using a device while driving. These are 2 unrelated ideas, which use the suffix "free" in different meanings ("BPA-free" means "containing no BPA", while "hands-free" means "your hands need not be used"). The construction "NOUN- and NOUN-ADJ" is normally only used with the meaning of "ADJ" repeated for both nouns, implying that this phone "contains no hands" (or possibly "your BPA is left free"). The "percentage free" description is also a standard form of advertising {{w|weasel word}}s, as remarked by Randall in [[641: Free]]. A food might be described as "90% fat-free" with the heavy implication that it has a tenth of the usual fat content, but likely really means "10% of the product is pure fat" (typically by weight or maybe pre-cooked volume) compared with perhaps 15% in the typical non-'fat-free' recipe. 0.1% of BPA is not an insignificant quantity given its possible effects, and is likely to be a higher leachable content if it is all concentrated in external trimmings. It is unclear what a tenth of a percent of a hand needs to do, to operate the device, but it does also mean that it is not as completely hands-free as implied. Or else it ''also'' implies that up to 0.1% of the phone contains ingredients sourced from human hands. At best, this could be skin cells from the workers (although phone assembly lines ''should'' be kept meticulously clean, to prevent damage to delicate components), or at worst, some workers could be losing hands into the assembly line due to poor safety practices.
* '''Extended release charge cable''' — Electronics manufacturers support standards to reduce time to fully recharge, e.g. Qualcomm {{w|Quick Charge}} standard. This is a reference to {{w|Modified-release dosage|"extended release" medication}}. It's unclear what purpose would be served by charging a phone slower than normal.
* '''Closed timelike curves''' — This label is applied to the curved corner of the phone. Randall may be making a visual joke by referring to the corner of the phone by a relativistic concept. {{w|Closed timelike curves}} is a world line in spacetime that is "closed", in that an object following that world line will return to its starting point in spacetime, which implies that the object would be able to go back in time. It could also be a reference to the [https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-13/apple-plans-ipad-like-design-for-next-iphone-smaller-homepod|''Bloomberg'' leaks] that predicted the sharper corners of the iPhone 12, the phone model this is designed on.
* '''Fits in standard shipping container''' - An {{w|intermodal shipping container}} is large enough to fit automobiles, raising the question of just how big this xkcd phone is. Other standard "containers" used for shipping items might be things like the FedEx, UPS, and USPS boxes, which often come in various sizes (small, medium, large) as well as their shipping envelopes, all of which could easily hold just about any phone that's out there.
* '''Interlocking, stackable''' — A quality of, among other things, LEGO bricks. Probably a bad idea to use this feature, given how close the phone is to critical mass. There are electronic boards designed for interlocking and stacking, such as {{w|Arduino}} and {{w|Raspberry Pi}} computers, which can have other boards attached to them (shields, hats) to add functionality, however it's unclear what advantage there would be to stacking multiple identical phones together.
* '''Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility''' — The {{w|Game Boy Printer}} was a thermal paper printer originally paired with the {{w|Game Boy Camera}}. This device was released in 1998 and discontinued in 2003, so this partnership would be obsolete.
* '''Sustain pedal''' — A {{w|sustain pedal}} is commonly associated with a digital keyboard or piano; it lets the note continue sounding when the key is released. It's unclear what purpose it would serve in a phone, although it might be used for the screaming mode in the title text.
* '''CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves''' — An allusion to the COVID-19 pandemic. CDC stands for Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the United States public health institute. In [[2284: Sabotage]], Randall "promised" to bring an annoying karaoke song to a party to hopefully discourage people from attending, but this phone will apparently do so automatically. "{{w|We Like to Party! (Vengaboys song)|We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)}}" is a 1998 Eurodance/techno hit by the Vengaboys, and is perhaps most familiar to Americans from a series of {{w|Six Flags}} ads.
* '''Sacrificial anode''' — Useful if something metal will be in a wet environment for a long time. Commonly used on bridges and boats, but it may be a 'feature' of this phone because of its built-in water reservoir. The {{w|sacrificial anode}} is made of a material with higher redox potential (typically zinc), and will corrode faster than the (more valuable) metal object it's attached to. It's unclear if the phone HAS a sacrificial anode or IS a sacrificial anode.
* '''Tactical helium reserve''' — Since 1925, the United States has had a {{w|National Helium Reserve|strategic helium reserve}}. Helium is very rare on earth and has important scientific and military uses, so it’s important to have a supply in case supplies disappear. But here we have a tactical helium reserve, which suggests it's smaller and focused on shorter-term goals. Compare {{w|strategic bombing}} focused on destroying entire cities or countries and {{w|tactical bombing}} aimed at destroying individual targets or military units. Helium also has the property of being lighter than air, so if this reserve is large enough, the phone could float away if let go. However, this is unlikely, as the phone boasts other, heavy components such as large magnets, a water reserve and a critical mass of fissile material.
* '''50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)''' — Indicates the phone contains fissile material. This "2x safety factor" means that if you put 2 phones next to each other, or put one phone next to a {{w|neutron reflector}}, you would have a {{w|criticality accident}}, which may explain why you would not own another phone after this one. A phone with this much fissile material would pose a radiation hazard. The "2x safety factor" claim may be related to physicist {{w|Richard Feynman|Richard Feynman's}} famous criticism of NASA in the {{w|Rogers Commission}} report on the space shuttle Challenger disaster. Feynman found that when he confronted NASA engineers with a part worn one third of the way through, which was not supposed to be worn through at all, the engineers claimed that this demonstrated a 3x safety factor rather than a failure of the part. This could mean that using the phone is harmful for some other reason (social media addiction?) but the xkcd phone has half as many users as it would need to cause a problem in this way.
* '''Shake for factory reset''' — A {{w|factory reset}} is often possible on electronic devices, and is usually accomplished either by pressing a button that is often well-protected against accidental contact, for an extended period or closing an electrical bridge. This one works like an {{w|Etch A Sketch|Etch-a-Sketch}}, which would not be preferred, as [http://www.ahajokes.com/com045.html slight disturbances] could easily cause massive losses of data. In the other hand, given that it weighs at least 600 lbs, it will probably not be shaking due to a user intentionally trying to delete their data.
* '''Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you''' — {{w|Norton (software)|Norton}} and {{w|McAfee}} (note spelling!) are competing software security companies, founded by {{w|Peter Norton}} and {{w|John McAfee}} respectively (though neither has any involvement with their name-sake companies any more). This "protection" combines the two of them and claims that Norton (the person) will defend you if McAfee (the person) attacks you. May have been inspired by [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/06/business/mcafee-arrested-tax-evasion.html John McAfee's recent arrest] which brought attention to the allegation that he had hired a hit man to kill his neighbor in Belize in 2012.

The title text mentions xkcd phone OS updates, including:
* '''Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid)''' — iOS 14 offers new features such as widgets on the home screen and changing of app icons, allowing for customization on a level not seen before on the platform. Here though, the "customization" hinges on a technicality, specifically of permutations: On a phone with, say, one million pixels, the number of ways one can place 20 icons is P(1000000,20)=9.998x10^119, an absolutely enormous number, but most people would not call two home screens where the only difference is that one icon is one pixel over a different configuration. Plus, Not having snap to grid would be incredibly unsatisfying, as it would make it very difficult to get icons lined up with each other.
* '''Dark mode (disables screen)''' — Dark mode is a popular feature on websites/apps with light backgrounds like Twitter and Reddit, changing the background to a dark color to help late-night users sleep better. Disabling the screen would not be a pleasant surprise when a user goes to turn on beloved dark mode. May be impossible to turn off if the screen is no longer touch sensitive when darkened unless the unmarked buttons can be used to disable it. Also a possible reason to want to use the shake-activated factory reset.
* '''Screaming mode (self-explanatory)''' — The phone screams. Reference to the screaming-while-falling [[1363: xkcd Phone|xkcd Phone 1]].
* '''Coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it)''' - This mysterious feature has a terrifying name, with even the developers refusing to test it out. This option would probably be very easy to accidentally tap, given the style of every xkcd Phone ever. Possibly activated with one of the unlabeled buttons making it even more dangerous. Coherent and Emission are associated with laser devices and the use of a laser could justify the helium reserve, and the Ultracapacitor implies a high energy throughput. Raises the question of who designs the phone if the people marketing it don't know what it does.

==Transcript==
:[The comic shows two smartphones: one taller and wider than the other. ]

:[Labels to the left of the larger smartphone:]
* Full drivetrain warranty
* Coated for easy swallowing
* Surgical-grade apps
* Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing
* Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque
* 40 mL emergency water supply
* Security feature: unmarked side buttons
* 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches
* 99.9% BPA- and hands- free
* Extended release charge cable
* Closed timelike curves

:[Labels to the right of the larger smartphone:]
* Fits in standard shipping container
* Interlocking, stackable

:[Labels to the right of the smaller smartphone:]
* Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility
* Sustain Pedal
* CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves
* Sacrificial anode
* Tactical helium reserve
* 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)
* Shake for factory reset
* Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

:[Text below the phone:]
:<big>The xkcd Phone 12* and 12 Max**</big>

:<nowiki>*Standard</nowiki> **For people named Max

:"The only phone you'll ever own"®™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2397: I Just Don't Trust Them

2020-12-12T07:43:40Z

TheMattmaticianI: Capitalized COVID

{{comic
| number = 2397
| date = December 11, 2020
| title = I Just Don't Trust Them
| image = i_just_dont_trust_them.png
| titletext = I believe in getting immunity the old-fashioned way: By letting a bat virus take control of my lungs and turn my face into a disgusting plague fountain while my immune system desperately Googles 'how to make spike protein antibodies'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BAT. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is another comic in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 pandemic}} of the {{w|coronavirus}} {{w|SARS-CoV-2}}, which causes {{w|COVID-19}}.

Cueball partially echoes a statement made by anti-vaccine activists about "Big Pharma" (the powerful and profit-driven companies who develop pharmaceutical drugs such as vaccines). Anti-vaccine protesters falsely believe that vaccines contain harmful toxins that cause ill effects on the human body, and that the corporations that make them are not to be trusted because they are exploiting a captive public for profit while disregarding public health. The joke is that Cueball is revealed to be not talking about Big Pharma but, instead, bats.

According the the WHO, COVID-19 has an ecological origin in bat populations. Hence, Cueball sees the virus as something developed by bats, and the ambiguity by which he expresses his desire to not be infected adds to the joke.

The comic could simply be seen to serve as a compelling argument against the anti-vaccine movement, which is often criticized for spreading misinformation and increasing rates of disease, especially since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. This comic comes shortly after the news of the development of several COVID-19 vaccines with high rates of success; there are concerns that herd immunity may be delayed if people refuse to take the vaccine.

The title text refers to getting immunity the old fashioned way, i.e. catching the disease and waiting for your immune system to build up a response. This is usually considered very healthy when immunity to local diseases is common, and can avoid the sudden forced evolution of new diseases among extensively hypercareful communities, but developing natural immunity is certainly incredibly dangerous during a new pandemic. One joke here is that many anti-vaxxers claim that it is more natural to not take a vaccine. While it is usually true that what is "natural" is also "healthy", this is not the case anymore in many modern scenarios that have become more commonplace. Of course, far far more modern things are lethal, than natural things are. But relying on nature to solve a modern problem without guidance, can be even more lethal.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball stands with his arms to his sides, facing Megan.]
:Cueball: I just don't trust them, and I don't want to put something they developed into my body.

:[Caption below the panel]:
:How I feel about bats

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]

2397: I Just Don't Trust Them

2020-12-12T07:42:40Z

TheMattmaticianI: Added paragraph about how Covid comes from bats

{{comic
| number = 2397
| date = December 11, 2020
| title = I Just Don't Trust Them
| image = i_just_dont_trust_them.png
| titletext = I believe in getting immunity the old-fashioned way: By letting a bat virus take control of my lungs and turn my face into a disgusting plague fountain while my immune system desperately Googles 'how to make spike protein antibodies'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BAT. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is another comic in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 pandemic}} of the {{w|coronavirus}} {{w|SARS-CoV-2}}, which causes {{w|COVID-19}}.

Cueball partially echoes a statement made by anti-vaccine activists about "Big Pharma" (the powerful and profit-driven companies who develop pharmaceutical drugs such as vaccines). Anti-vaccine protesters falsely believe that vaccines contain harmful toxins that cause ill effects on the human body, and that the corporations that make them are not to be trusted because they are exploiting a captive public for profit while disregarding public health. The joke is that Cueball is revealed to be not talking about Big Pharma but, instead, bats.

According the the WHO, Covid-19 has an ecological origin in bat populations. Hence, Cueball sees the virus as something developed by bats, and the ambiguity by which he expresses his desire to not be infected adds to the joke.

The comic could simply be seen to serve as a compelling argument against the anti-vaccine movement, which is often criticized for spreading misinformation and increasing rates of disease, especially since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. This comic comes shortly after the news of the development of several COVID-19 vaccines with high rates of success; there are concerns that herd immunity may be delayed if people refuse to take the vaccine.

The title text refers to getting immunity the old fashioned way, i.e. catching the disease and waiting for your immune system to build up a response. This is usually considered very healthy when immunity to local diseases is common, and can avoid the sudden forced evolution of new diseases among extensively hypercareful communities, but developing natural immunity is certainly incredibly dangerous during a new pandemic. One joke here is that many anti-vaxxers claim that it is more natural to not take a vaccine. While it is usually true that what is "natural" is also "healthy", this is not the case anymore in many modern scenarios that have become more commonplace. Of course, far far more modern things are lethal, than natural things are. But relying on nature to solve a modern problem without guidance, can be even more lethal.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball stands with his arms to his sides, facing Megan.]
:Cueball: I just don't trust them, and I don't want to put something they developed into my body.

:[Caption below the panel]:
:How I feel about bats

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]

2397: I Just Don't Trust Them

2020-12-12T07:35:55Z

TheMattmaticianI: discredited anti-vaxxers

{{comic
| number = 2397
| date = December 11, 2020
| title = I Just Don't Trust Them
| image = i_just_dont_trust_them.png
| titletext = I believe in getting immunity the old-fashioned way: By letting a bat virus take control of my lungs and turn my face into a disgusting plague fountain while my immune system desperately Googles 'how to make spike protein antibodies'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BAT. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is another comic in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 pandemic}} of the {{w|coronavirus}} {{w|SARS-CoV-2}}, which causes {{w|COVID-19}}.

Cueball partially echoes a statement made by anti-vaccine activists about "Big Pharma" (the powerful and profit-driven companies who develop pharmaceutical drugs such as vaccines). Anti-vaccine protesters falsely believe that vaccines contain harmful toxins that cause ill effects on the human body, and that the corporations that make them are not to be trusted because they are exploiting a captive public for profit while disregarding public health. The joke is that Cueball is revealed to be not talking about Big Pharma but, instead, bats.

The comic could simply be seen to serve as a compelling argument against the anti-vaccine movement, which is often criticized for spreading misinformation and increasing rates of disease, especially since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. This comic comes shortly after the news of the development of several COVID-19 vaccines with high rates of success; there are concerns that herd immunity may be delayed if people refuse to take the vaccine.

The title text refers to getting immunity the old fashioned way, i.e. catching the disease and waiting for your immune system to build up a response. This is usually considered very healthy when immunity to local diseases is common, and can avoid the sudden forced evolution of new diseases among extensively hypercareful communities, but developing natural immunity is certainly incredibly dangerous during a new pandemic. One joke here is that many anti-vaxxers claim that it is more natural to not take a vaccine. While it is usually true that what is "natural" is also "healthy", this is not the case anymore in many modern scenarios that have become more commonplace. Of course, far far more modern things are lethal, than natural things are. But relying on nature to solve a modern problem without guidance, can be even more lethal.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball stands with his arms to his sides, facing Megan.]
:Cueball: I just don't trust them, and I don't want to put something they developed into my body.

:[Caption below the panel]:
:How I feel about bats

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]

2397: I Just Don't Trust Them

2020-12-12T07:19:17Z

TheMattmaticianI: gave more certainty to it came from bats claim

{{comic
| number = 2397
| date = December 11, 2020
| title = I Just Don't Trust Them
| image = i_just_dont_trust_them.png
| titletext = I believe in getting immunity the old-fashioned way: By letting a bat virus take control of my lungs and turn my face into a disgusting plague fountain while my immune system desperately Googles 'how to make spike protein antibodies'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BAT. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is another comic in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 pandemic}} of the {{w|coronavirus}} {{w|SARS-CoV-2}}, which causes {{w|COVID-19}}.

Cueball partially echoes a statement made by anti-vaccine activists about "Big Pharma" (the powerful and profit-driven companies who develop pharmaceutical drugs such as vaccines). Anti-vaccine protesters believe that vaccines contain harmful toxins that cause ill effects on the human body, and that the corporations that make them are not to be trusted because they are exploiting a captive public for profit while disregarding public health. The joke is that Cueball is revealed to be not talking about Big Pharma but, instead, bats.

The joke inverts the concepts around the topic, in a way similar to how people have been forming discussions to handle fake news. One of the leading theories as to the origin of Covid-19 is that it evolved in bats dwelling in isolated caves. Hence, Cueball wouldn't want 'something they developed in [his] body', as that would mean he would be infected with the virus.

Additionally, human augmentation technology (microchips in the body) is on a quick rise, as usual coming from private businesses before public collaboration. While coronavirus may have developed in deep caves, in bats, entering deep caves could let somebody escape from hacked augmentation devices. Meanwhile, as people who have been overexposed to cyberwar have difficulty still remembering the names of their family members, Randall describes our immune systems being unable to remember how to form proper antibodies, and relying on a private corporate system to perform their basic task. The way the various current topics are wrongly intermixed is a common pattern people use to express frustration at these things, and to subtly and productively communicate about them without overly stimulating them.

The comic could simply be seen to serve as a compelling argument against the anti-vaccine movement, which is often criticized for spreading misinformation and increasing rates of disease, especially since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. This comic comes shortly after the news of the development of several COVID-19 vaccines with high rates of success; there are concerns that herd immunity may be delayed if people refuse to take the vaccine.

The title text refers to getting immunity the old fashioned way, i.e. catching the disease and waiting for your immune system to build up a response. This is usually considered very healthy when immunity to local diseases is common, and can avoid the sudden forced evolution of new diseases among extensively hypercareful communities, but developing natural immunity is certainly incredibly dangerous during a new pandemic. One joke here is that many Anti-vaxers claim that it is more natural to not take a vaccine. While it is usually true that what is "natural" is also "healthy", this is not the case anymore in many modern scenarios that have become more commonplace. Of course, far far more modern things are lethal, than natural things are. But relying on nature to solve a modern problem without guidance, can be even more lethal.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball stands with his arms to his sides, facing Megan.]
:Cueball: I just don't trust them, and I don't want to put something they developed into my body.

:[Caption below the panel]:
:How I feel about bats

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]

2397: I Just Don't Trust Them

2020-12-12T07:15:33Z

TheMattmaticianI: Clarified how covid-19 came to be in bats

{{comic
| number = 2397
| date = December 11, 2020
| title = I Just Don't Trust Them
| image = i_just_dont_trust_them.png
| titletext = I believe in getting immunity the old-fashioned way: By letting a bat virus take control of my lungs and turn my face into a disgusting plague fountain while my immune system desperately Googles 'how to make spike protein antibodies'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BAT. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is another comic in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 pandemic}} of the {{w|coronavirus}} {{w|SARS-CoV-2}}, which causes {{w|COVID-19}}.

Cueball partially echoes a statement made by anti-vaccine activists about "Big Pharma" (the powerful and profit-driven companies who develop pharmaceutical drugs such as vaccines). Anti-vaccine protesters believe that vaccines contain harmful toxins that cause ill effects on the human body, and that the corporations that make them are not to be trusted because they are exploiting a captive public for profit while disregarding public health. The joke is that Cueball is revealed to be not talking about Big Pharma but, instead, bats.

The joke inverts the concepts around the topic, in a way similar to how people have been forming discussions to handle fake news. Some believe Covid-19 evolved in bats dwelling in isolated caves. Hence, Cueball wouldn't want 'something they developed in [his] body', as that would mean he would be infected with the virus.

Additionally, human augmentation technology (microchips in the body) is on a quick rise, as usual coming from private businesses before public collaboration. While coronavirus may have developed in deep caves, in bats, entering deep caves could let somebody escape from hacked augmentation devices. Meanwhile, as people who have been overexposed to cyberwar have difficulty still remembering the names of their family members, Randall describes our immune systems being unable to remember how to form proper antibodies, and relying on a private corporate system to perform their basic task. The way the various current topics are wrongly intermixed is a common pattern people use to express frustration at these things, and to subtly and productively communicate about them without overly stimulating them.

The comic could simply be seen to serve as a compelling argument against the anti-vaccine movement, which is often criticized for spreading misinformation and increasing rates of disease, especially since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. This comic comes shortly after the news of the development of several COVID-19 vaccines with high rates of success; there are concerns that herd immunity may be delayed if people refuse to take the vaccine.

The title text refers to getting immunity the old fashioned way, i.e. catching the disease and waiting for your immune system to build up a response. This is usually considered very healthy when immunity to local diseases is common, and can avoid the sudden forced evolution of new diseases among extensively hypercareful communities, but developing natural immunity is certainly incredibly dangerous during a new pandemic. One joke here is that many Anti-vaxers claim that it is more natural to not take a vaccine. While it is usually true that what is "natural" is also "healthy", this is not the case anymore in many modern scenarios that have become more commonplace. Of course, far far more modern things are lethal, than natural things are. But relying on nature to solve a modern problem without guidance, can be even more lethal.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball stands with his arms to his sides, facing Megan.]
:Cueball: I just don't trust them, and I don't want to put something they developed into my body.

:[Caption below the panel]:
:How I feel about bats

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]

2384: Set in the Present

2020-11-12T07:30:22Z

TheMattmaticianI: [Text below panel]

{{comic
| number = 2384
| date = November 11, 2020
| title = Set in the Present
| image = set_in_the_present.png
| titletext = She referenced Billie Eilish, so this must be getting pretty close to the pandemic. But we've seen the last two years in-universe, so if it's set in the future, they must be in at least 2023 by now. [*adds thumbtacks and string to wall*]
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an ALTERNATE NO-COVID TIMELINE. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Cueball]] is watching a wall-mounted television set that's showing either a movie or a TV program. On-screen, people are talking face-to-face without face masks, and other maskless people mingle in the background. Although he's not engaged with the plot, Cueball has picked up enough setting clues to know that the story is set in or near the present day. However, the actual present day includes a raging pandemic ({{w|COVID-19 pandemic|COVID-19}}), the likes of which have not been seen in a century. The program doesn't reflect this, and Cueball is driven to distraction by the mismatch between his world and its.

In a generic setting, stories can date themselves through the appearance of era-specific technology (such as cell phone models, which Cueball notes) or pop culture references ({{w|Billie Eilish}} is mentioned in the title text). These clues support the idea that the story is current, but the story's world is still fundamentally different without the pandemic. Attempting to resolve the question, Cueball considers the possibility that the story is set in 2019 (COVID-19 did not emerge until late that year and did not become a pandemic until 2020); a vaccinated future where COVID-19 has been cured; or that it is 2020, but the characters are simply being reckless with their own (and each others') health. Alternatively, this story could occur in an {{w|alternate timeline}} with no COVID.

Movies and television productions are enormously complex, and months, if not years, can pass between when a screenplay is written and the finished product finishes filming. There is often an additional gap between the end of production and a program's release. Together, these delays mean that most movies and TV shows still coming out in the pandemic reflect the world as it was before COVID hit. Even if produced after COVID-19 had already began, many movies and TV shows may not reference COVID or mask-wearing, leading to Cueball's confusion/distraction.

The idea of using thumbtacks and strings (usually accompanied by newspaper clippings and photographs) to study a problem is pop-culture shorthand for a conspiracy theory. Randall has previously mentioned this in [[2244: Thumbtacks And String]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Cueball and a flat-screen television are floating in a featureless void

Okay, they're hugging, and no one has masks, but she has a modern phone. Is this story set in 2049?

Or is this a post-vaccine future?
Or an alternative no-Covid timeline?

Or are we supposed to think these characters are irresponsible?

[Text below panel]
Movies and shows that are vaguely set in "The Present" will be awkward for a while

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2384: Set in the Present

2020-11-12T07:29:43Z

TheMattmaticianI: Started transcript

{{comic
| number = 2384
| date = November 11, 2020
| title = Set in the Present
| image = set_in_the_present.png
| titletext = She referenced Billie Eilish, so this must be getting pretty close to the pandemic. But we've seen the last two years in-universe, so if it's set in the future, they must be in at least 2023 by now. [*adds thumbtacks and string to wall*]
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an ALTERNATE NO-COVID TIMELINE. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Cueball]] is watching a wall-mounted television set that's showing either a movie or a TV program. On-screen, people are talking face-to-face without face masks, and other maskless people mingle in the background. Although he's not engaged with the plot, Cueball has picked up enough setting clues to know that the story is set in or near the present day. However, the actual present day includes a raging pandemic ({{w|COVID-19 pandemic|COVID-19}}), the likes of which have not been seen in a century. The program doesn't reflect this, and Cueball is driven to distraction by the mismatch between his world and its.

In a generic setting, stories can date themselves through the appearance of era-specific technology (such as cell phone models, which Cueball notes) or pop culture references ({{w|Billie Eilish}} is mentioned in the title text). These clues support the idea that the story is current, but the story's world is still fundamentally different without the pandemic. Attempting to resolve the question, Cueball considers the possibility that the story is set in 2019 (COVID-19 did not emerge until late that year and did not become a pandemic until 2020); a vaccinated future where COVID-19 has been cured; or that it is 2020, but the characters are simply being reckless with their own (and each others') health. Alternatively, this story could occur in an {{w|alternate timeline}} with no COVID.

Movies and television productions are enormously complex, and months, if not years, can pass between when a screenplay is written and the finished product finishes filming. There is often an additional gap between the end of production and a program's release. Together, these delays mean that most movies and TV shows still coming out in the pandemic reflect the world as it was before COVID hit. Even if produced after COVID-19 had already began, many movies and TV shows may not reference COVID or mask-wearing, leading to Cueball's confusion/distraction.

The idea of using thumbtacks and strings (usually accompanied by newspaper clippings and photographs) to study a problem is pop-culture shorthand for a conspiracy theory. Randall has previously mentioned this in [[2244: Thumbtacks And String]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Cueball and a flat-screen television are floating in a featureless void

Okay, they're hugging, and no one has masks, but she has a modern phone. Is this story set in 2049?

Or is this a post-vaccine future?
Or an alternative no-Covid timeline?

Or are we supposed to think these characters are irresponsible?

Movies and shows that are vaguely set in "The Present" will be awkward for a while

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T22:31:54Z

TheMattmaticianI: added water reserve

{{comic
| number = 2377
| date = October 26, 2020
| title = xkcd Phone 12
| image = xkcd_phone_12.png
| titletext = New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a PERSON NAMED MAX. Closed timelike curves need more explanation. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is the "12th" (actually the 8th) in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is also a reference to the recently released {{w|iPhone 12}}. However, there have only been 8 comics released, with the previous two being [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] and [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]].

The note about the xkcd Phone 12 and the xkcd Phone 12 Max (only for people named Max) is a joke about the different models of iPhone 12: iPhone 12, iPhone 12 Mini, iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max. The xkcd Phone 12 Max would be expected to have a larger screen, but it seems that this phone is also only for people with the name Max. If the phones are respectively placed, Max's (Maxes'?) phone is the smaller of the two models.

The slogan '"The only phone you'll ever own"' could be interpreted as something of a threat, which is believable given some of the purported features. The slogan has the "registered trademark" symbol, with that symbol supposedly itself trademarked, which is highly unlikely.

Multiple features are labelled on the phone that are common when advertising other products, but highly unusual in mobile phones, for comedic effect:

* '''Full drivetrain warranty''' - A common warranty feature for automobiles--see {{w|drivetrain}}. As a side note, the phone here would be cheaping out on the warranty if it were a car; a "drivetrain" warranty covers everything ''except'' the engine; only if it was a "{{w|powertrain}}" warranty would it cover the engine. A phone typically has none of these things, although this one seemingly does.
* '''Coated for easy swallowing''' - A common feature on solid medicines meant to be taken orally. Phones do not belong in the set of edible objects, much less orally-taken medicines{{Citation needed}}. Since some parents of young children let them teethe on their phones, this would be an undesirable feature. There may be a pun here, based on the larger smartphones being practically the same as the more {{w|Tablet_computer|minimal portable computers}}.
* '''Surgical-grade apps''' - "Surgical-grade steel" is sometime used as a selling point indicating quality materials. This feature suggests that the apps themselves are made from high-quality material, although this is absurd because an app is (as the name suggests) a software application, not any physical object that could be reasonably defined as 'surgical-grade' or not. Note that both hardware and software can be certified for {{w|Safety-critical_system|safety-critical applications}}.
* '''Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing''' - {{w|Magnet fishing}} is an activity for searching for objects that can be pulled in by a strong magnet. A 600 pound magnet can lift a 600 pound (272kg) object (at Earth's surface). This would tend to make the phone stick to any iron or steel objects (such as refrigerators) and be impossible to remove with human strength, and only the strongest humans could pick up the phone even if it were properly insulated. It would also be impossible to separate two phones without destroying one of them if the interlocking feature were used. This feature would also erase any credit cards the owner puts in the vicinity of the phone, meaning this phone could not be put in one's pocket with a wallet.
* '''Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque''' - This is a reference to {{w|ultrasonic toothbrush}}es. {{w|Oral-B}} does not produce any ultrasonic toothbrushes, but does produce ''{{w|sonic toothbrush}}es.'' There is a logical connection between electric toothbrushes and smartphones, namely they are both electronic and both vibrate; however, most phones cannot perform dentistry autonomously{{Citation needed}}.
* '''40 mL emergency water supply''' - 40 milliliters is equal to 40 cubic centimeters. For comparison, the iPhone 11 Pro Max's volume is just shy of 100 cubic centimeters; if the Phone 12 Max is similarly sized, then the water supply would take up over 40% of its total volume. In this day and age, many phones are water-resistant to some degree; nevertheless, shipping a phone with an interior consisting of a 3:2 ratio of electronics-to-water will surely lead to many short-circuited, inoperable phones. Furthermore, {{w|survival kit}}s often come with pouches that can hold several litres of water, in case of emergency. Because people typically take their phones with them everywhere they go, storing a survival kit inside the phone would be a life-saving feature. Unfortunately, 40cc of water is not enough to stave off thirst for a meaningful amount of time, extinguish a flame much larger than a candle's, or deal with most other situations which would constitute an emergency. Unless you are suitably proficient at {{w|Katara_(Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender)#Waterbending|waterbending}}, this feature is useless for its intended function. 40 milliliters is also the amount of fluid that a shot glass holds.
* '''Security feature: unmarked side buttons''' - Some vendors (particularly car dealers) try to explain away horrible User Interface functions as "Security Features". Technically, if no one (including the owner) can use it, it is secure... Some modern phones have unmarked side buttons, so the secureness of this feature is doubtful. This phone is likely to have trillions of buttons though, just to confuse the user. No buttons are visible which could indicate the side of the phone functions is touch sensitive and the buttons are not only unlabeled but not visible.
* '''3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches''' - {{w|Inductive charging|Induction charging}} is a method that a number of modern phones advertise, allowing power to (inefficiently but 'conveniently') transfer into a device from a mains charging station or another device's battery without the need for plugging in cables. It transfers energy between safely tuned coils, that do not touch, though typically the case of one device must remain placed directly upon the other for the optimal transfer of charge between them. {{w|Electrical_injury#Lethality|Shocks of 11,000 volts are usually lethal}}, so 3,000,000 volts of 'pure' electricity (possibly from a complete {{w|Tesla coil}} assemblage) is pretty much guaranteed to kill you. Worse still, it would render the phone unusable due to the high voltage emitted to any object or bodypart within its large range. The {{w|Electrical breakdown}} voltage of air is approximately 3 kV / mm, which would allow a 3 MV potential to jump a distance of 100 cm. 36 inches (91 cm), however, is within reach of a simple extension cord.
* '''99.9% BPA- and hands- free''' - {{w|Bisphenol A}} (or BPA) is a compound that is used in making plastics. BPA has been found to exhibit hormone-like properties, so there is a movement to produce BPA-free plastics using alternative bisphenols. {{w|Hands-free}} describes using the device "without hands", e.g. using voice commands. This is important when using a device while driving. These are 2 unrelated ideas, which use the suffix "free" in different meanings ("BPA-free" means "containing no BPA", while "hands-free" means "your hands are left free"). The construction "NOUN- and NOUN-ADJ" is normally only used with the meaning of "ADJ" repeated for both nouns, implying that this phone "contains no hands" (or possibly "your BPA is left free"). The "percentage free" description is also a standard form of advertising {{w|weasel word}}s. A food might be described as "90% fat-free" with the heavy implication that it has a tenth of the usual fat content, but likely really means "10% of the product is pure fat" (typically by weight or maybe pre-cooked volume) compared with perhaps 15% in the typical non-'fat-free' recipe. 0.1% of BPA is not an insignificant quantity given its possible effects, and is likely to be a higher leachable content if it is all concentrated in external trimmings. It is unclear what a tenth of a percent of a hand needs to do, to operate the device, but it does also mean that it is not as completely hands-free as implied. Or else it ''also'' implies a trace ingredient in the manufacturing process that should still concern you.
* '''Extended release charge cable''' - Electronics manufacturers support standards to reduce time to fully recharge, e.g. Qualcomm {{w|Quick Charge}} standard. This is a reference to "extended release" medication. It's unclear what purpose would be served by charging a phone slower than normal.
* '''Closed timelike curves''' - This label is applied to the curved corner of the phone. Randall may be making a visual joke by referring to the corner of the phone by a very complex relativistic concept. Given that {{w|Closed timelike curves}} are usually associated with solutions to general relativity that allow for time travel...
* '''Fits in standard shipping container''' - An {{w|intermodal shipping container}} is large enough to fit automobiles, raising the question of just how big this xkcd phone is.
* '''Interlocking, stackable''' - A quality of, among other things, LEGO bricks. Probably a bad idea to use this feature, given how close the phone is to critical mass.
* '''Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility''' - The {{w|Game Boy Printer}} was a thermal paper printer originally paired with the {{w|Game Boy Camera}}. This device was released in 1998 and discontinued in 2003, so this partnership would be obsolete.
* '''Sustain pedal''' - A {{w|sustain pedal}} is commonly associated with a digital keyboard or piano; it lets the note continue sounding when the key is released. It's unclear what purpose it would serve in a phone, although it might be used for the screaming mode in the title text.
* '''CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves''' - An allusion to the COVID-19 pandemic. In [[2284: Sabotage]], Randall "promised" to bring an annoying karaoke song to a party to hopefully discourage people from attending, but this phone will apparently do so automatically. "{{w|We Like to Party! (Vengaboys song)|We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)}}" is a 1998 Eurodance/techno hit by the Vengaboys, and is perhaps most familiar to Americans from a series of {{w|Six Flags}} ads.
* '''Sacrificial anode''' - Useful if something metal will be in a wet environment for a long time. Commonly used on bridges and boats, but it may be a 'feature' of this phone because of its built-in water reservoir. The {{w|sacrificial anode}} is made of a material with higher redox potential (typically zinc), and will corrode faster than the (more valuable) metal object it's attached to. It's unclear if the phone HAS a sacrificial anode or IS a sacrificial anode.
* '''Tactical helium reserve''' - Since 1925, the United States has had a {{w|National Helium Reserve|strategic helium reserve}}. Helium is very rare on earth and has important scientific and military uses, so it’s important to have a supply in case supplies disappear. But here we have a tactical helium reserve, which suggests it's smaller and focused on shorter-term goals. Compare {{w|strategic bombing}} focused on destroying entire cities or countries and {{w|tactical bombing}} aimed at destroying individual targets or military units. Helium also has the property of being lighter than air, so if this reserve is large enough, the phone could float away if let go. However, this is unlikely, as the phone boasts other, heavy components such as large magnets, a water reserve and a critical mass of fissile material.
* '''50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)''' - Indicates the phone contains fissile material. This "2x safety factor" means that if you put 2 phones next to each other, or put one phone next to a {{w|neutron reflector}}, you would have a {{w|criticality accident}}, which may explain why you would not own another phone after this one. A phone with this much fissile material would pose a radiation hazard. The "2x safety factor" claim may be related to physicist {{w|Richard Feynman|Richard Feynman's}} famous criticism of NASA in the {{w|Rogers Commission}} report on the space shuttle Challenger disaster. Feynman found that when he confronted NASA engineers with a part worn one third of the way through, which was not supposed to be worn through at all, the engineers claimed that this demonstrated a 3x safety factor rather than a failure of the part.
* '''Shake for factory reset''' - A {{w|factory reset}} is often possible on electronic devices, and is usually accomplished either by pressing a button that is often well-protected against accidental contact, for an extended period or closing an electrical bridge. This one works like an {{w|Etch A Sketch|Etch-a-Sketch}}, which would not be preferred, as [http://www.ahajokes.com/com045.html slight disturbances] could easily cause massive losses of data.
* '''Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you'''. {{w|Norton (software)|Norton}} and {{w|McAfee}} (note spelling!) are competing software security companies. This "protection" combines the two of them and claims that Norton (the person) will defend you if McAfee (the person) attacks you. May have been inspired by [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/06/business/mcafee-arrested-tax-evasion.html John McAfee's recent arrest] which brought attention to the allegation that he had hired a hit man to kill his neighbor in Belize in 2012.

The title text mentions xkcd phone OS updates, including:
* '''Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid)''' - Whether on-screen icons snap to a grid is a very minor aspect of customization. Not having it would be incredibly unsatisfying, as it would make it very difficult to get icons exactly lined up vertically and horizontally.
* '''Dark mode (disables screen)''' - Dark mode is a popular feature on websites/apps with light backgrounds like Twitter and Reddit, changing the background to a dark color to help late-night users sleep better. Disabling the screen would not be a pleasant surprise when a user goes to turn on beloved dark mode. May be impossible to turn off if the screen is no longer touch sensitive when darkened unless the unmarked buttons can be used to disable it. Also a possible reason to want to use the shake-activated factory reset.
* '''Screaming mode (self-explanatory)''' - The phone screams. Reference to the screaming-while-falling [[1363: xkcd Phone|xkcd Phone 1]].
* '''Coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it)''' - This mysterious feature has a terrifying name, with even the developers refusing to test it out. This option would probably be very easy to accidentally tap, given the style of every xkcd Phone ever. Possibly activated with one of the unlabeled buttons making it even more dangerous. Coherent and Emission are associated with laser devices and the use of a laser could justify the helium reserve, and the Ultracapacitor implies a high energy throughput. Raises the question of who designs the phone if the people marketing it don't know what it does.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

* Full drivetrain warranty
* Coated for easy swallowing
* Surgical-grade apps
* Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing
* Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque
* 40 mL emergency water supply
* Security feature: unmarked side buttons
* 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches
* 99.9% BPA- and hands- free
* Extended release charge cable
* Closed timelike curves
* Fits in standard shipping container
* Interlocking, stackable
* Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility
* Sustain Pedal
* CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves
* Sacrificial anode
* Tactical helium reserve
* 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)
* Shake for factory reset
* Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

The xkcd Phone 12* and 12 Max**

<nowiki>*Standard</nowiki> **For people named Max

"The only phone you'll ever own"®™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T08:37:41Z

TheMattmaticianI: Made the 'closed timelike curves' explanation worse

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T08:31:53Z

TheMattmaticianI: Said it could float away (helium). Review and cut if desired

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T08:26:02Z

TheMattmaticianI: Added how the magnet would wipe credit cards

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T08:22:55Z

TheMattmaticianI: Added sentence before details

2373: Chemist Eggs

2020-10-17T01:51:45Z

TheMattmaticianI: Expanded transcript

{{comic
| number = 2373
| date = October 17, 2020
| title = Chemist Eggs
| image = chemist_eggs.png
| titletext = Chemists actually find it simpler to define a general odor of rotten eggs as a baseline, and the LACK of rotten eggs as a distinct smell.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a ROTTEN EGG LOVER. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic details how some people attribute smells to certain things that aren't always common to smell

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[Cueball and Ponytail face a table]
:Cueball: How will I know if the reaction fails?
:Ponytail: You'll smell the sulfides
:Cueball: What do those smell like?
:Ponytail: Sulfurous Rotten eggs.

[A new panel, the table is gone]
:Cueball: Chemists always compare sulfur to rotten eggs.
:But why would I know that smell?
:Ponytail: I dunno, It's a common thing!

:Cueball: Is it? My kitchen is messy, but there aren't eggs lying around

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

2365: Messaging Systems

2020-09-29T00:35:05Z

TheMattmaticianI: Formatting

{{comic
| number = 2365
| date = September 29, 2020
| title = Messaging Systems
| image = messaging_systems.png
| titletext = SMS is just the worst, but I'm having trouble convincing people to adopt my preferred system, TLS IRC with a local server and a patched DOSBox gateway running in my mobile browser.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by AN UNENCRYPTED SMS. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A Venn Diagram is shown, framed in a box. It has three components:

Vaguely Modern, E2E Encrypted, Supported By Everyone

Solely in the Vaguely Modern category are:

Facebook Messenger, Hangouts, Discord, Various DMs

In both 'Vaguely Modern' and 'E2E Encrypted' categories are:

Signal, iMessage, Whatsapp

Solely in the E2E Encrypted category are:

PGP Email, Various Obscure Projects, Skype I think, Jabber + TLS

Solely in the 'Supported By Everyone' category is:

SMS

All other categories are empty.

:[Caption Below the Comic]: Why SMS refuses to die

{{comic discussion}}

2365: Messaging Systems

2020-09-29T00:33:33Z

TheMattmaticianI: More transcript work

{{comic
| number = 2365
| date = September 29, 2020
| title = Messaging Systems
| image = messaging_systems.png
| titletext = SMS is just the worst, but I'm having trouble convincing people to adopt my preferred system, TLS IRC with a local server and a patched DOSBox gateway running in my mobile browser.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by AN UNENCRYPTED SMS. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A Venn Diagram is shown, framed in a box. It has three components:

Vaguely Modern

E2E Encrypted

Supported By Everyone

Solely in the Vaguely Modern category are:

Facebook Messenger

Hangouts

Discord

Various DMs

In both 'Vaguely Modern' and 'E2E Encrypted' categories are:

Signal

iMessage

Whatsapp

Solely in the E2E Encrypted category are:

PGP Email

Various Obscure Projects

Skype I think

Jabber + TLS

Solely in the 'Supported By Everyone' category is:

SMS

All other categories are empty.

:[Caption Below the Comic]: Why SMS refuses to die

{{comic discussion}}

2365: Messaging Systems

2020-09-29T00:31:02Z

TheMattmaticianI: Formatting

{{comic
| number = 2365
| date = September 29, 2020
| title = Messaging Systems
| image = messaging_systems.png
| titletext = SMS is just the worst, but I'm having trouble convincing people to adopt my preferred system, TLS IRC with a local server and a patched DOSBox gateway running in my mobile browser.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by AN UNENCRYPTED SMS. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A Venn Diagram is shown, framed in a box. It has three components:
Vaguely Modern

E2E Encrypted

Supported By Everyone

Solely in the Vaguely Modern category are:

Facebook Messenger

Hangouts

Discord

Various DMs

In both 'Vaguely Modern' and 'E2E Encrypted' categories are:

PGP Email

Various Obscure Projects

Skype I think

Jabber + TLS

Solely in the 'Supported By Everyone' category is:

SMS

All other categories are empty.

:[Caption Below the Comic]: Why SMS refuses to die

{{comic discussion}}

2365: Messaging Systems

2020-09-29T00:15:12Z

TheMattmaticianI: Formatting

{{comic
| number = 2365
| date = September 29, 2020
| title = Messaging Systems
| image = messaging_systems.png
| titletext = SMS is just the worst, but I'm having trouble convincing people to adopt my preferred system, TLS IRC with a local server and a patched DOSBox gateway running in my mobile browser.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by AN UNENCRYPTED SMS. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A Venn Diagram is shown. It has three components:
Vaguely Modern
E2E Encrypted
Supported By Everyone

Solely in the Vaguely Modern category are:
Facebook Messenger
Hangouts
Discord
Various DMs

In both 'Vaguely Modern' and 'E2E Encrypted' categories are:
PGP Email
Various Obscure Projects
Skype I think
Jabber + TLS

Solely in the 'Supported By Everyone' category is:
SMS

All other categories are empty.

Below the Venn diagram is the caption 'Why SMS refuses to die'

{{comic discussion}}

2365: Messaging Systems

2020-09-29T00:14:10Z

TheMattmaticianI: Worked on transcript

{{comic
| number = 2365
| date = September 29, 2020
| title = Messaging Systems
| image = messaging_systems.png
| titletext = SMS is just the worst, but I'm having trouble convincing people to adopt my preferred system, TLS IRC with a local server and a patched DOSBox gateway running in my mobile browser.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by AN UNENCRYPTED SMS. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A Venn Diagram is shown. It has three components: 'Vaguely Modern', 'E2E Encrypted', and 'Supported By Everyone'

Solely in the Vaguely Modern category are:
Facebook Messenger
Hangouts
Discord
Various DMs

In both 'Vaguely Modern' and 'E2E Encrypted' categories are:
PGP Email
Various Obscure Projects
Skype I think
Jabber + TLS

Solely in the 'Supported By Everyone' category is:
SMS

All other categories are empty.

Below the Venn diagram is the caption 'Why SMS refuses to die'

{{comic discussion}}

2365: Messaging Systems

2020-09-29T00:11:04Z

TheMattmaticianI: Started transcript

2341: Scientist Tech Help

2020-08-03T22:32:16Z

TheMattmaticianI: Started transcript

{{comic
| number = 2341
| date = August 4, 2020
| title = Scientist Tech Help
| image = scientist_tech_help.png
| titletext = I vaguely and irrationally resent how useful WebPlotDigitizer is.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a WASP-INFESTED LAB. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In this comic, Randall pokes fun at stereotypes of scientists that tech people hold.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
There are two panels. The one on the left is titled
What tech people think scientists need help with

The one on the right is titled
What scientists actually need:

{{comic discussion}}

2341: Scientist Tech Help

2020-08-03T22:30:28Z

TheMattmaticianI: Started it woo

2340: Cosmologist Genres

2020-08-03T10:14:31Z

TheMattmaticianI: removed secon wikipedia link from pop

{{comic
| number = 2340
| date = July 31, 2020
| title = Cosmologist Genres
| image = cosmologist_genres.png
| titletext = Inflationary cosmologists call all music from after the first 10^-30 seconds "post-"
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

A cosmologist is someone who studies the universe; cosmology is a branch of astronomy. When describing the composition of stars in astronomical terms, {{w|Metallicity|metals}} are all the elements heavier than {{w|helium}}. This definition of metal is significantly broader than {{w|metal|the one used outside astronomy}}. Likewise, this chart of musical genres describes everything "heavier" than {{w|Pop music|pop}} as metal. The standard conception of elemental metals is a subset of the astronomical conception of metals; likewise, here the musical genre {{w|Heavy metal music|metal}} is presented as a subset of the genres cosmologists consider metal.

Randall may have decided to portray pop music in a similar way to the elements Helium and Hydrogen as a reference to the 'pop test', the test for hydrogen as a product of a chemical reaction.

Cosmologists also study the history and future of the universe, and the title text refers to the {{w|Big Bang}}. At roughly 10-32 seconds after the Big Bang, the {{w|inflationary epoch}} ended, causing a large number of {{w|Quark|quarks, anti-quarks}}, and {{w|Gluon|gluons}} to come into existence. In {{w|inflationary cosmology}}, this point is considered to be the end of the Big Bang. Randall jokingly refers to it as "post-" because nearly the entire history of the universe is after this instant. This is a reference to types of music with "post-" in their names, e.g. {{w|post-rock}} and {{w|post-metal}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{| 
|+ '''Music genres according to...'''
|-
| ...Non-cosmologists
| ...Cosmologists
|-
| Pop
| Lite
|-
| Rock
| Metal
|-
| Hip hop
| Metal
|-
| Metal
| Metal
|-
| Country
| Metal
|-
| Dance/Electronic
| Metal
|-
| Latin
| Metal
|-
| Punk
| Metal
|-
| Classical
| Metal
|-
| Jazz
| Metal
|-
| Folk
| Metal
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Music]]

2340: Cosmologist Genres

2020-08-03T10:13:31Z

TheMattmaticianI: Added pop test reference

{{comic
| number = 2340
| date = July 31, 2020
| title = Cosmologist Genres
| image = cosmologist_genres.png
| titletext = Inflationary cosmologists call all music from after the first 10^-30 seconds "post-"
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

A cosmologist is someone who studies the universe; cosmology is a branch of astronomy. When describing the composition of stars in astronomical terms, {{w|Metallicity|metals}} are all the elements heavier than {{w|helium}}. This definition of metal is significantly broader than {{w|metal|the one used outside astronomy}}. Likewise, this chart of musical genres describes everything "heavier" than {{w|Pop music|pop}} as metal. The standard conception of elemental metals is a subset of the astronomical conception of metals; likewise, here the musical genre {{w|Heavy metal music|metal}} is presented as a subset of the genres cosmologists consider metal.

Randall may have decided to portray {{w|Pop music|pop}} music in a similar way to the elements Helium and Hydrogen as a reference to the 'pop test', the test for hydrogen as a product of a chemical reaction.

Cosmologists also study the history and future of the universe, and the title text refers to the {{w|Big Bang}}. At roughly 10-32 seconds after the Big Bang, the {{w|inflationary epoch}} ended, causing a large number of {{w|Quark|quarks, anti-quarks}}, and {{w|Gluon|gluons}} to come into existence. In {{w|inflationary cosmology}}, this point is considered to be the end of the Big Bang. Randall jokingly refers to it as "post-" because nearly the entire history of the universe is after this instant. This is a reference to types of music with "post-" in their names, e.g. {{w|post-rock}} and {{w|post-metal}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{| 
|+ '''Music genres according to...'''
|-
| ...Non-cosmologists
| ...Cosmologists
|-
| Pop
| Lite
|-
| Rock
| Metal
|-
| Hip hop
| Metal
|-
| Metal
| Metal
|-
| Country
| Metal
|-
| Dance/Electronic
| Metal
|-
| Latin
| Metal
|-
| Punk
| Metal
|-
| Classical
| Metal
|-
| Jazz
| Metal
|-
| Folk
| Metal
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Music]]