1575: Footprints

2015-09-09T20:39:24Z

Theamazingchris: The word "totes" does express meaning, best expressed by the word "definitely". It signifies that Jesus is attempting to reassure the narrator of the honesty of his assertion.

{{comic
| number = 1575
| date = September 9, 2015
| title = Footprints
| image = footprints.png
| titletext = "There's one set of foot-p's cause I was totes carrying you, bro!" said Jesus seconds before I punched him.
}}

==Explanation==

The comic is a satirical graphical representation of the inspirational Christian poem "{{w|Footprints (poem)|Footprints}}," which has been recounted in many versions and is of disputed authorship.

The basic idea of the poem is that the narrator looks back at scenes of his life and sees two sets of footprints, his and those of Jesus. During the most difficult times of his life, the narrator sees only one set of footprints and assumes that Jesus had left him during those times. In the climax of the poem, Jesus responds to the narrator that he saw only one set of footprints during the most difficult times of his life because Jesus was carrying him during those times.

The poem is seen by many as overly sentimental and is thus ripe for parody of this kind. The graph mockingly illustrates various times when Jesus or the narrator left the scene, or otherwise gives various reasons why the number of footprints may have been other than two.

"Ducklings {{w|Imprinting (psychology)|imprinted}} on Jesus and followed him around" is a reference to {{w|Konrad Lorenz}}'s experiments. Three ducklings followed Jesus and the narrator.

"Jesus disappeared for an evening each time a new ''{{w|The Twilight Saga (film series)|Twilight}}'' movie came out" probably means either that Jesus went to see the movie and left the narrator alone or that the narrator went to see the movie and Jesus refused to come with.

"Got lost and followed our own footprints" may be a reference to "{{w|Winnie-the-Pooh}}" (1926), in which the titular bear and his friend try and hunt a "Woozle" by its footprints, actually following their own round and round a bush, which also seems slightly childish for Jesus as traditionally portrayed.

"Rode around with Jesus in captured {{w|Walker (Star_Wars)#All_Terrain_Scout_Transport_.28AT-ST.29|AT-ST}}" is a reference to a two-legged combat "walker" from Star Wars. The implication is that Jesus would have participated in forcibly taking a war machine, which appears somewhat out of character.

The reference at the end to Jesus drowning in a patch of quicksand, and then the narrator simply going home, again subverts the poem's earnestness. "Going home" may be a reference to dying, implying that the narrator died without Christ, or that the narrator and Christ were not traveling anymore.

The title text continues the parody by imagining that Jesus delivers the poem's climactic lines in stereotypical {{w|California English|"surfer dude"}} speak, a dialect perceived by many to be obnoxious. The reference to punching Jesus is possibly another reference to the poem's perceived excessive sentimentality. Another interpretation is that the narrator, like many people, dislikes usage of this lingo and punched Jesus as a result of this hatred.

"There's one set of foot-p's cause I was totes carrying you, bro!" can be translated into normal English as "There's one set of footprints because I was definitely carrying you, brother!".

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

A graph with time on the x-axis and numbers 1 through 5 on the y axis, labeled "Sets of footprints". A single red line runs through from left to right, showing different values at different times. Until the very end, the line always returns to the value 2, signifying two sets of footprints in the sand.

* The line starts at the value 2, then dips twice to the value 1. The two troughs are labeled, "Jesus carried me".
* The line then dips once again to the value 1. The trough is labeled, "I carried Jesus".
* The line rises to 3 briefly, and is labeled, "Who was that guy?"
* The line rises to 5 sharply, and then falls in a sharp staircase pattern, labeled "Ducklings imprinted on Jesus and followed him around".
* The line rises to 4, labeled "Got lost and followed our own footprints".
* The line dips for very short periods five times to the value 1. The troughs are labeled, "Jesus disappeared for an evening each time a new <em>Twilight</em> movie came out". The first dip is between "I carried Jesus" and "Who was that guy?", the second between "Who was that guy?" and "Duckings imprinted on Jesus..." and the final three are all between the "Ducklings imprinted on Jesus..." and "Got lost and followed our own footprints".
* The line dips to 1, labeled "Rode around with Jesus in captured AT-ST"
* The line dips and stays level at 1, labeled "Hit quicksand patch. Jesus didn't make it :("
* The line dips to zero at the end, and is labeled "Went home".

{{comic discussion}}

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1575: Footprints