2714: Cold Complaints

2022-12-22T07:50:15Z

Whatever: Undo revision 302970 by CobsonTheGemson (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2714
| date = December 21, 2022
| title = Cold Complaints
| image = cold_complaints.png
| imagesize = 740x254px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Our investigation into whining-based remedies became the first study to be halted by the IRB on the grounds that the treatment group was 'too annoying.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a GIGANTIC WHINING BABY - Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

When people are ill, they will often complain about the symptoms that they're suffering from. A common sterotype is that men will revert to infantile behavior when miserably sick. This can be annoying to the people around them, but they typically tolerate such behavior out of compassion. The joke in this comic is that [[Hairy]] spoke via a {{w|telemedicine}} appointment to [[Ponytail]], a medical professional who explicitly advised him to act out, since his condition has no effective medical treatment. He takes her advice to, "act like you're the first person ever to have a cold," literally, stating it specifically when his companion asks about it.

This comic was published during a "tripledemic" in the U.S., involving {{w|COVID-19}}, {{w|influenza}}, and {{w|respiratory syncytial virus}} (RSV, a frequent cause of common colds) infections, the latter of which have no cure other than to wait them out with plenty of rest and fluids. It expounds on the finding that, "talking about troublesome events, including events with which one is dissatisfied, may ... result in improved physiological health." (Kowalski, R.M. (2002) [http://people.uncw.edu/hakanr/documents/whining.pdf "Whining, griping, and complaining: positivity in the negativity"] ''Journal of Clinical Psychology'' '''58'''(9):1023-35.)

The title text describes a similar study, but where the {{w|institutional review board}} (IRB) halted the study because the participants were too annoying. This is ironic since they would be expected to whine annoyingly. IRBs are expected to review the ethics of a research project. Whining is not usually considered dangerous,{{citation needed}} but in this case it was presumably so intolerable that they had to put a stop to it.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Hairy sitting on a chair in front of a computer screen. There is an image of Ponytail on the screen speaking.]
:Ponytail: Well, it's not COVID or flu. Probably one of the other viruses.
:Hairy: Ughh

:[A zoomed out version of the image, Ponytail cannot be seen]
:Ponytail: There's not much you can do to speed up recovery other than rest, hydrate, and whine and complain and be a gigantic baby about it.

:[Same as previous panel]
:Hairy: Whine and complain?
:Ponytail: Yeah. You need to act like you're the first person ever to have a cold.

:[Hairy lying on a couch wrapped in a blanket, with a lot of paper tissues around]
:Off-screen voice: Are you '''''sure''''' that's what she said?
:Hairy: Unbelievable. Here I am, the only person ever to feel bad, and you're '''''doubting''''' me?

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Doctor Ponytail]]
[[Category:Medicine]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]

696: Strip Games

2022-05-21T05:21:31Z

Whatever: I just thought "with boys and girls" was firstly heteronormative and secondly a poor explanation of the premise.

{{comic
| number = 696
| date = February 1, 2010
| title = Strip Games
| image = strip_games.png
| titletext = HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF STRIP GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR?
}}
==Explanation==
The frequency of strip versions of various games is measured by means of Google search results. Strip versions of popular games are a common activity at parties, especially when alcohol is involved. The obligation to remove pieces of clothing is supposed to add an extra zest to the game. A very widespread variant is {{w|Strip Poker}}, followed by strip versions of regular party games like {{w|Truth or Dare}} or {{w|Spin the Bottle}}.

However, the comic also suggests playing other games in a way that involves stripping. In reality, playing such games as "Strip {{w|Tennis}}" or "Strip {{w|Agricola (board game)|Agricola}}" is rather unusual. The Chris Van Allsburg picture book ''{{w|Jumanji (picture book)| Jumanji}}'' and the Robin Williams movie adaptation
''{{w|Jumanji}}'' are about a magical board game that manifests dangerous creatures and traps from the jungle and lost civilization therein; a theoretical Strip Jumanji would probably not remain very titillating during the chaos (evidently, therefore, "strip Jumanji" refers to [https://jumanji.fandom.com/wiki/Jumanji_(Milton_Bradley_Board_Game) the real-life board game based on the movie]).

The last column features games of which strip versions are (according to Google) nonexistent. While the other columns named sports or board games where a strip variant would be at least conceivable, the last one includes the {{w|zero-player game|zero-player}} {{w|Conway's Game of Life|Game of Life}} and the {{w|Prisoner's_dilemma#The_iterated_prisoner's_dilemma|Iterated Prisoner's Dilemma}}, which is a theoretical example in {{w|game theory}}. It is therefore left to the reader to imagine how a strip version of these pseudo-games would appear.

"Global Thermonuclear War" in the title text is a reference to the film "{{w|WarGames}}", where a young hacker accesses a US military supercomputer and starts a nuclear war simulation, believing it to be only a computer game. The film ends by showing the computer that nuclear war is "a strange game" in which "the only winning move is not to play", and proposes "a nice game of chess".

Strip global thermonuclear war is a patently absurd idea; while it is a common trope for people to engage in one last moment of intimate pleasure before certain doom, foreplay (including strip games of any type) is a time-consuming practice, and time is something you don't have much of considering that the bomb could drop on your place of residence at any moment. Besides all that, the act of betting on which city is going to go up next in a nuclear inferno tends not to be an effective aphrodisiac for most people.{{Citation needed}} But at least you wouldn't be wearing your radioactive clothes!

==Table of games==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!style="width:15%"|Frequency
!style="width:20%"|Name
!Explanation
|-
|rowspan="5"|Frequent<br>n > 1%
|{{w|Poker}}
|Poker, a card game with rounds of betting, is a game with common "strip" variations, see {{w|strip poker}}.
|-
|{{w|Spin the bottle}}
|Spin the bottle is a party game where players must kiss a randomly selected other player. As this is a semi-sexual party game, strip varieties seem like they could be popular.
|-
|{{w|Beer pong}}
|Beer pong is a drinking game common at universities and colleges.
|-
|{{w|Never have I ever}}
|Never have I ever is a drinking game where players take turns asking other players about things they "have not done".
|-
|{{w|Truth or Dare}}
|Truth or dare? is a party game, in which players are given the choice between answering a question truthfully, or performing a dare.
|-
|rowspan="5"|Rare<br>1% >= n > 0.01%
|{{w|Chess}}
|Chess is a board game between two players. Theoretically, clothing could be removed whenever a piece is captured.
|-
|{{w|Blackjack}}
|Blackjack is a gambling card game, played between players and a dealer, in which players do not play against each other.
|-
|{{w|Tennis}}
|Tennis is a racket sport played between 2 players (or between teams of 2, in the case of doubles).
|-
|{{w|Settlers of Catan}}
|Settlers of Catan is a strategy board game, where players compete to "settle" an island by harvesting resources.
|-
|{{w|Pictionary}}
|Pictionary is a party board game, involving drawing and guessing words.
|-
|rowspan="5"|Extremely rare<br>0.01% >= n > 0
|{{w|Cricket}}
|Cricket is a bat-and-ball sport, commonly played in the UK, India, and other Commonwealth countries. The laws of cricket (and, given that cricket is an outdoor sport, public obscenity laws) disencourage the players removal of clothing, though it is far from unknown for {{w|Sheila Nicholls|spectators}} to do so.
|-
|{{w|Magic: The Gathering}}
|Magic: The Gathering is a trading card game, released in 1993 by Wizards of the Coast.
|-
|{{w|Stickball}}
|Stickball is a game similar to baseball, using a broom handle and a rubber ball.
|-
|{{w|Agricola (board game)|Agricola}}
|Agricola is a farming-inspired strategy board game.
|-
|{{w|Jumanji#Games|Jumanji}}
|''Jumanji'' is a 1995 fantasy film (based on a {{w|Jumanji (picture book)| picture book by Chris Van Allsburg}}) that centers on a supernatural board game. A board game based on the film was released by Milton Bradley.
|-
|rowspan="5"|Nonexistent<br>n = 0
|{{w|Poohsticks}}
|A children's sport mentioned in the {{w|Winnie-the-Pooh|Winnie-the-Pooh books}} played by dropping sticks into a river and watching them reappear on the other side of a bridge. Despite the kid-friendly origins, and unlike the other games below it, a "strip" version of Poohsticks is actually viable.
|-
|[[wikia:w:c:starwars:Podracing|Podracing]]
|Podracing appears in the {{w|Star Wars}} films as a racing competition held with hovering vehicles. How a "strip" version would work between two racers is unclear, but a determined set of spectators "wagering" their clothes on the races could probably hammer out a system.
|-
|{{w|Prisoner's_dilemma#The_iterated_prisoner's_dilemma|Iterated Prisoner's Dilemma}}
|The prisoner's dilemma is a "game" that is analyzed in game theory, showing why rational individuals may not cooperate, even if it is in their best interest to do so. This does not seem like a "playable" game that could involve removing clothing.
|-
|{{w|Chess by mail}}
|Could conceivably work if the players include increasingly-nude photographs of themselves in their correspondences. The problem is, a game by e-mail can take days to finish, and a game by snail-mail can take upwards of ''several months''. The titillation factor is far too spread out to satisfy the desires of anyone who would elect to play a game of strip chess in the first place. It could be an interesting idea for a long-distance relationship, however.
|-
|{{w|Conway's Game of Life}}
|Conway's Game of Life is a {{w|cellular automaton}} devised by British mathematician John Horton Conway in 1970. It is not a "game" in the traditional sense, so "stripping" would also be very difficult, if not impossible.
|}

==Transcript==
:Frequency of Strip Versions of Various Games

:n = google hits for "strip <game name>" / google hits for "<game name>"
:(at the time of this writing)

:Frequent
:(n > 1%)
:-Poker
:-Spin the Bottle
:-Beer Pong
:-Never Have I Ever
:-Truth or Dare

:Rare
:(1% >= n > 0.01%)
:-Chess
:-Blackjack
:-Tennis
:-Settlers of Catan
:-Pictionary

:Extremely Rare
:(0.01% >= n > 0)
:-Cricket
:-Magic: the Gathering
:-Stickball
:-Agricola
:-Jumanji

:Nonexistent
:(n = 0)
:-Poohsticks
:-Podracing
:-Iterated Prisoner's Dilemma
:-Chess by Mail
:-Conway's Game of Life

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Sport]]
[[Category:Chess]]
[[Category:Nuclear weapons]]
[[Category:Board games]]

explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2714: Cold Complaints

696: Strip Games