explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1645: Toasts

2016-02-19T12:04:34Z

Xylon: Spoonerism + link

{{comic
| number = 1645
| date = February 19, 2016
| title = Toasts
| image = toasts.png
| titletext = Platonic solids for my real friends and real solids for my platonic friends!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|There may be more jokes and more on the different words.}}
A {{w|Toast (honor)|toast}} is a ritual in which a drink is taken as an expression of honor or goodwill. The term may be applied to the person or thing so honored, the drink taken, or the verbal expression accompanying the drink. Thus, a person could be "the toast of the evening," for whom someone "proposes a toast" to congratulate and for whom a third person "toasts" in agreement

The comic plays on a permutation structure between two words (a [[wikipedia:Spoonerism|Spoonerism]]), yielding puns with various effects
In this comic eight persons drink a '''toast''' for their "real friends" and then for some other type of "friends". For the real friend they wish them to have one specific thing. This something is a word (X-Y) that can be split up in two meanings (X and Y), where one of them are then put in front the word friend, to explain what type of friends they are now toasting (often a bad/false type of friend) and then these friends get a wish for having what the word that are left of the original word means: "X-Y for my real friends and real Y for my X friends"

The first example is a typical toast, in Champagne, where this word can be split in the two phonetically similar words Sham and Pain, and the sham friends then get pain. [[#The toasts|Below]] all examples (including the ninth from the title text) are listed with explanation for all words.

===The toasts===
*''Champagne'' sounds like a combination of the two words ''Sham'' and ''Pain''.
**{{w|Champagne}} is an expensive fizzy drink.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/sham Sham] friends means false friends.
**{{w|Pain}} is not so nice to hand out.
***So [[Cueball]] toast his real friends in Champagne and wishes real pain to his false friends.
*''Pseudopods'' can be divided into ''Pseudo-'' and ''Pods''.
**{{w|Pseudopods}} (which translates to "false feet") are temporary cytoplasm-filled parts of the cell wall that are able to change their form in order to move. They are used in some eukaryotic cells to move around or to eat. Most cells that do this are called {{w|Amoeba|amoeboids}}. The {{w|Amoeba (genus)|amoeba}} is a common example.
**{{w|Pseudo-}} (lying, false) is used to mark something that superficially appears to be (or behaves like) one thing, but actually is another.
**{{w|Pods}} or {{w|pod}} is not clearly defined. It could refer to {{w|Glossary_of_plant_morphology#Fruit_types|seedpod}} – a dry dehiscent fruit containing many seeds. It could also refer to the [http://thehungergames.wikia.com/wiki/Pod pods] from {{w|The Hunger Games}} where they are specifically used as the city defense in the last book {{w|Mockingjay}}.
***So the blonde girl will give her real friends a special part of amoeba (?) but that is at least better than what her false friend receives – i.e. real pods with intricate ways to kill them.
*''Petticoats'' sounds like a combination of the two words ''Petty'' and ''Coats''
**{{w|Petticoats}} or underskirt is an article of clothing; specifically an undergarment to be worn under a skirt or a dress.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/petty Petty] means small (in rank of importance), insignificant or narrow-minded. See for instance {{w|petty crime}}.
**{{w|Coat (clothing)|Coats}} is a garment worn by both men and women, for warmth or fashion.
***So [[Megan]] will hand out undergarment for her real friend and real (nice) coats for her less important/insignificant or narrow-minded friends (they seem to be the luckier ones here…)
*''Loosestrife'' can be divided into ''Loose'' and ''Strife''.
**{{w|Loosestrife}} is a common name for plants within two different genera (which are not related): {{w|Lythrum}} (example: {{w|Lythrum salicaria|purple loosestrife}}) and {{w|Lysimachia}} (example: {{w|Lysimachia ciliata|Fringed Loosestrife}})
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/loose Loose] in this case means free from restraints, as the opposite of {{w|close friend}}.
**[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/strife Strife] comes from the name of {{w|Eris (mythology)|Eris}} the Greek goddess of chaos, strife, and discord. It refers to a bitter sometimes violent conflict or discord.
***So the "brunet" girl (i.e. similar hair but less dark than Megan) will give her real friends flowers and those that are not really her friends she wish to end up in a real violent conflict.
*''Ladybugs'' can be divided into ''Lady'' and ''bugs''.
**{{w|Ladybugs}} (or Ladybird}} is a common insect all over the world.
**{{w|Lady}} is a civil term of respect for a woman, specifically the female equivalent to {{w|gentleman}} or {{w|lord}}, but in many contexts a term for any adult woman.
**{{w|Bugs}} in this case refer to to {{w|insects}} or {{w|arachnids}}
***[[Hair Bun Girl]] will give Ladybugs for her real friends (a type of bug that most people are not afraid of{{Citation needed}}, and real bugs (beetles, flies or spiders) to her Lady friends. This is not necessarily all her female friends, it could be only those that are {{w|Lady#British_nobility|noble}} or at least think they are more important and thus would like to be called lady. No matter what most ladies dislike most types of animals that are commonly referred to as bugs.
*''Single-payer'' can be divided into ''Single'' and Payer a word that rimes with ''Player''. In this case this word is then put together with real to form the word ''RealPlayer''.
**{{w|Single-payer}} refers to Single-payer healthcare, a system in which the state, rather than private insurers, pays for all {{w|healthcare}} costs, a system used in several countries, but not so far in the US although {{w|Barack Obama}} has gone some of the way with {{w|Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act|Obamacare}}.
**{{w|Single person|Single}} refers to a person who is not in a relationship or is unmarried.
**{{w|RealPlayer}} is a cross-platform media player app, developed by RealNetworks. It is compatible with numerous container file formats of the multimedia realm.
**It is specifically not the word ''{{w|Single-player video game|Single-player}}'' that is used! this word could refer to video games that only one player can play at a time, or when choosing to play single-player in a game where more could have played. ''RealPayer'' is not a word in use.
***[[White Hat]] thus wish that his real friends have access to free health care, and to all his single (girl) friends he will bestow a RealPlayer. Maybe he wishes to impress these singles with a present and hope he gets lucky. (If it has been [[Hairy]] this would have seemed very likely… see [[1178: Pickup Artists]]. White Hat has not previously displayed thse tendencies to clearly).
*''Tumbleweeds'' sounds like a combination of the two words ''Tumblr'' and ''Weed''.
**{{w|Tumbleweed}} is a structural part of the above-ground anatomy of a number of species of plants, a {{w|Diaspore (botany)|diaspore}} (of seeds) that, once it is mature and dry, detaches from its root or stem, and tumbles away in the wind. The tumbleweed's {{w| Tumbleweed#Symbolism|association}} with the Western film genre has led to a highly symbolic meaning in visual media.
**{{w|tumblr}} is a microblogging platform and social networking website
**{{w|Weed}} is a plant considered undesirable in a particular situation but in this case it refers to {{w|Cannabis (drug)|Cannabis}} also known as marijuana and many other names including weed and would be used (again in this comic) as a {{w|psychoactive drug}}, i.e. {{w|getting high|get high}}.
***[[Ponytail]] thus gives her "real" friends a western movie symbol, that will spread seeds over their house, but with her friends on her favorite blogsite Tumblr she will share her expensive weed.
*''Fauxhawks'' can be divided into ''Faux'' and ''Hawks''
**{{w|Mohawk_hairstyle#Fauxhawk_variants |Fauxhawks}} copies the style of a {{w|mohawk}}, but without shaving the sides of the head and not extending past the peak of the cranium.
**{{w|Faux}} is a French word for "false".
**{{w|Hawks}} is a common name for some small to medium-sized diurnal birds of prey, widely distributed and varying greatly in size.
***[[Beret Guy]] thus wishes to cut his real friends hair in a very special way, maybe to his liking and thought of as a favor, but not necessarily liked by all his friends, cause although Beret Guy is weird, it seems that those around him is not. His false friends can have a predatory bird (maybe coming after them), but rather knowing Beret Guys love of all things, just as a present of something he likes, like animals.
*'''Title text:'''
*''Platonic solids'' can be divided into '' Platonic'' and ''Solids''
**{{w|Platonic solids}}: In three-dimensional space, a Platonic solid is a regular, convex polyhedron. It is constructed by congruent regular polygonal faces with the same number of faces meeting at each vertex. Five solids meet those criteria, and each is named after its number of faces.Tetrahedron, Cube, Octahedron, Dodecahedron and Icosahedron.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/platonic Platonic] means ''not sexual in nature'' as in {{w|Platonic love}}, which is a type of love that is celibate and non-sexual. Typically friends would not be called platonic, but they are normally also not the opposite.
**{{w|Solid}} is one of the four fundamental states of matter (the others being liquid, gas, and plasma). ''Doing someone a solid'' can also mean ''doing someone a favor''.
***[[Randall]], must be speaking the title text and he wishes his real friends to have material in regular, convex polyhedron shape where as his {{w|platonic friends}} can get any other kind of solid material.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete|Unsure about couple of characters, marked with '?'. Please edit.}}

There are two rows of 4 panels each. Each panel shows different xkcd character offering a toast. Each one has some kind of drink in his/her hand.

:[First row panels, left to right]
:Cueball : Champaign for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends!
:Miss Lenhart (?) : Pseudopods for my real friends and real pods for my pseudo friends!
:Megan : Petticoats for my real friends and real coats for my petty friends!
:Danish (?) : Loosestrife for my real friends and real strife for my loose friends!

:[Second row panels, left to right]
:Hair Bun Girl : Ladybugs for my real friends and real bugs for my lady friends!
:White Hat Guy : Single-payer for my real friends and Realplayer for my single friends!
:Ponytail : Tumbleweeds for my real friends and real weed for my Tumblr friends!
:Berret Guy : Fauxhawks for my real friends and real hawks for my faux friends!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hair Bun Girl]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]

1331: Frequency

2014-02-17T14:04:52Z

Xylon: /* Transcript */ lowercase for sentences, some typos

{{comic
| number = 1331
| date = February 17, 2014
| title = Frequency
| image = frequency.png
| titletext = This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.
}}

Today's comic is animated. While we prepare a gif for the wiki, click on the date above the comic to see the animated version.
==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Incomplete.}}
This comic shows a number of common events, ordered in a grid. Each of the events flashes with their average frequency.

For example, statistically a child is born somewhere on the world approximately every 0.24 seconds, or four times per second. Therefore the tile "One birth" blinks about 4 times per second.

The table below lists all the events and their duration / frequency. Some events make reference to other comics.

The title text refers to the {{w|Pitch drop experiment}} which measures the flow of a piece of pitch over many years. At room temperature, tar pitch flows at a very slow rate, taking several years to form a single drop. The title text jokes that Randall tried to include a tile that flashes about once every {{w|decade|ten years}}, but the tiles are all {{w|Animated GIF|animated GIFs}} and the file format does not support animations that long.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
!class="unsortable"|Text!!data-sort-type="number"|Period!!class="unsortable"|Frequency!!class="unsortable"|Explanation
|-
|Heartbeat||0.86 second||70 times per minute||
|-
|One birth||0.24 second||250 times per minute||
|-
|One death||0.56 second||107 times per minute||
|-
|Someone edits Wikipedia||0.67 second||90 times per minute||
|-
|Someone buys a vibrator||2.99 seconds||20 times per minute||
|-
|China builds a car||1.89 second||32 times per minute||
|-
|Japan builds a car||4.01 seconds||15 times per minute||
|-
|Germany builds a car||5.8 seconds||10 times per minute||
|-
|The US builds a car||6.95 seconds||8.6 times per minute||
|-
|Someone else builds a car||1.03 second||58 times per minute||
|-
|A European Union resident has their first kiss||5.53 seconds||11 times per minute||
|-
|A US fire department puts out a fire||23 seconds||2.6 times per minute||
|-
|Someone hits a hole-in-one||180 seconds||20 times per hour||
|-
|My turn signal blinks||0.94 second||64 times per minute||See below
|-
|The turn signal of the car in front of me blinks||0.9 second||67 times per minute||This, together with the previous item, forms a reference to [[165: Turn Signals]].
|-
|Earthquake (magnitude 1)||2.43 seconds||25 times per minute||
|-
|Earthquake (magnitude 2)||24.26 seconds||2.5 times per minute||
|-
|Earthquake (magnitude 3)||242.6 seconds||15 times per hour||
|-
|Earthquake (magnitude 4)||2426 seconds||1.5 times per hour||
|-
|A member of the UK parliament flushes a toilet||10.06 seconds||6 times per minute||
|-
|An airline flight takes off||0.93 second||65 times per minute||
|-
|Someone buys To kill a mockingbird||42.05 seconds||1.4 times per minute||"{{w|To Kill a Mockingbird}}" is a famous novel by Harper Lee.
|-
|Someone's pet cat kills a mockingbird||1.82 second||33 times per minute||Whereas the previous item references the well-known book "To Kill a Mockingbird", this one talks about mockingbirds being literally killed (in this case, by cats).
|-
|Someone in Phoenix buys new shoes||1.08 second||56 times per minute||
|-
|Someone in Phoenix puts on a condom||2.05 seconds||29 times per minute||
|-
|Someone locks their keys in their car||2.43 seconds||25 times per minute||
|-
|A Sagittarius named Amelia drinks a soda||7.79 seconds||7.7 times per minute||
|-
|A dog bites someone in the US||7.01 seconds||8.6 times per minute||
|-
|Someone steals a bicycle||24.93 seconds||2.4 times per minute||
|-
|A bald eagle catches a fish||2.69 seconds||22 times per minute||
|-
|50,000 plastic bottles are produced||1.27 second||47 times per minute||
|-
|50,000 plastic bottles are recycled||4.64 seconds||13 times per minute||
|-
|A bright meteor is visible somewhere||1.15 second||52 times per minute||
|-
|Old Faithful erupts||5640 seconds||15 times per day||{{w|Old Faithful}} is a geyser in {{w|Yellowstone National Park}} in the US.
|-
|A fishing boat catches a shark||0.83 second||72 times per minute||
|-
|Someone in the US is diagnosed with cancer||18.99 seconds||3.2 times per minute||
|-
|Someone in the US dies from cancer||54.34 seconds||1.1 times per minute||
|-
|Someone adopts a dog from a shelter||15.6 seconds||3.8 times per minute||
|-
|Someone adopts a cat from a shelter||21.3 seconds||2.8 times per minute||
|-
|Someone gets married||0.75 second||80 times per minute||
|-
|Someone registers a domain||0.64 second||94 times per minute||
|-
|Someone in the us buys a house||6.22 seconds||9.6 times per minute||
|-
|Someone in the us gets a tattoo||2.06 seconds||29 times per minute||
|-
|The star PSR J1748-2446AD rotates 1,000 times||1.4 second||43 times per minute||{{w|PSR_J1748-2446ad}} is the fastest spinning {{w|pulsar}} known.
|-
|Someone lies about their age to sign up for Facebook||4.32 seconds||14 times per minute||
|-
|Someone breaks an iPhone screen||0.93 second||65 times per minute||
|-
|A Little League player strikes out||1.23 second||49 times per minute||
|-
|Someone has sex in North Dakota||1.38 second||43 times per minute||
|-
|Justin Bieber gains a follower on Twitter||4.73 seconds||13 times per minute||
|-
|Someone in Denver orders pizza||1.27 second||47 times per minute||
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
Events are written in grey and arranged in a grid. Each statement pulses black at a given interval.

{|
|Heartbeat
|One birth
|One death
|Someone edits Wikipedia
|Someone buys a vibrator
|-
|China builds a car
|Japan builds a car
|Germany builds a car
|The US builds a car
|Someone else builds a car
|-
|A european union resident has their first kiss
|A US fire department puts out a fire
|Someone hits a hole-in-one
|My turn signal blinks
|The turn signal of the car in front of me blinks
|-
|Earthquake (magnitude 1)
|Earthquake (magnitude 2)
|Earthquake (magnitude 3)
|Earthquake (magnitude 4)
|Member of the UK parliament flushes a toilet
|-
|An airline flight takes off
|Someone buys ''To Kill a Mockingbird''
|Someone's pet cat kills a mockingbird
|Someone in Pheonix buys new shoes
|Someone in Pheonix puts on a condom
|-
|Someone locks their keys in their car
|A sagittarius named Amelia drinks a soda
|A dog bites someone in the US
|Someone steals a bicycle
|A bald eagle catches a fish
|-
|50,000 plastic bottles are produced
|50,000 plastic bottles are recycled
|A bright meteor is visible somewhere
|Old Faithful erupts
|A fishing boat catches a shark
|-
|Someone in the US is diagnosed with cancer
|Someone in the US dies from cancer
|Someone adopts a dog from a shelter
|Someone adopts a cat from a shelter
|Someone gets married
|-
|Someone registers a domain
|Someone in the US buys a house
|Someone in the US gets a tattoo
|The star ''PSR J1748-2446ad'' rotates 1,000 times
|Someone lies about their age to sign up for Facebook
|-
|Someone breaks an iPhone screen
|A little league player strikes out
|Someone has sex in North Dakota
|Justin Bieber gains a follower on Twitter
|Someone in Denver orders a pizza
|}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Charts]]

1219: Reports

2013-05-31T08:31:15Z

Xylon: transcript by hand

{{comic
| number = 1219
| date = May 31, 2013
| title = Reports
| image = reports.png
| titletext = If that fails, just multiply every number by a thousand. 'The 2nd St speed limit were set at 2,500 mph, it would likely have prevented 1,000 of the intersection's 3,000 serious accidents last month.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}

==Transcript==
:How to make boring technical reports more fun to read:
:Imagine they were written and sent in, unsolicited, by the estranged spouse of the head of the project.
:<Six guard rails have erratic reflector placement, and one even lacks reflectors entirely, despite rule G31.02(b) clearly mandating consistent usage.>
:...Sharon!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

280: Librarians

2013-05-28T13:09:21Z

Xylon: create page for comic 280 ; feel free to rewrite explanation

{{comic
| number = 280
| date = 2007-06-22
| title = Librarians
| image = librarians.png
| titletext = Don't expect any leniencies on late fees, though.
}}

==Explanation==
Cueball tortures his girlfriend which is librarian, ie a book-lover person, by damaging books, for example here by opening too much a {{w|hardcover}} book.

==Transcript==
:{Advantages to dating librarians}
:Librarian: We're stopping in Baltimore to visit my family, and that's final.
:Boyfriend: Oh yeah?
:[Reaching inside paper bag.]
:Boyfriend: Hey, look, it's a new hardback book!
:[Holds book in hands]
:Librarian Girlfriend: You wouldn't.
:[The book is twisted and crinkled.]
:<<crinkle>>
:<<creak>>
:[Librarian Girlfriend twitches.]
:<<crack>>
:[The book's spine is broken]
:Librarian Girlfriend: OKAY! You win!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

541

2013-04-09T13:39:11Z

Xylon: REDIRECT

#REDIRECT [[541: TED Talk]]

TED Talk

2013-04-09T13:39:09Z

Xylon: REDIRECT

#REDIRECT [[541: TED Talk]]

Talk:541: TED Talk

2013-04-09T13:10:10Z

Xylon: discuss

It's not the first time Randall gets banned from conventions, see [[153: Cryptography]].
[[User:Xylon|Xylon]] ([[User talk:Xylon|talk]]) 13:10, 9 April 2013 (UTC)

541: TED Talk

2013-04-09T13:08:48Z

Xylon: creation

{{comic
| number = 541
| date = 2009-02-09
| title = TED Talk
| image = ted_talk.png
| titletext = The IAU ban came after the "redefinition of the 'planet' to include the IAU president's mom" incident.
}}

==Explanation==
Randall presents at the very serious [[wikipedia:TED (conference)|TED talk]] a trivial and useless subject like it was something important, being how a smiley should be written next to a closing bracket.

Then he can add TED to the long list of "conferences he is banned from".

==Transcript==
:[Randall Monroe on stage]
:Randall - Hi. I'm Randall. Welcome to my TED talk.
: - it's an honor to speak to you, some of the brightest innovators from so many fields, about a problem in desperate need of your attention:
: - How DO you end parenthetical statements with emoticons? I can't figure out a good way.
:[Screen next to him shows two statements, both crossed out in red]
:Screen - "Linux (or BSD :)" would... "looks mismatched"
:"Linux (or BSD :))" would... "looks mismatched and weird"

:[Randall writing on a desk]
:Randall's List - Conferences I'm banned from:
:Siggraph
:Eurocrypt
:Defcon
:Pycon
:International Astronomical Union
:Canadian Paleontology Conference
:Every American Furry Convention
:American Baking Society
:Asian Dolphin-Training Conference
:_TED_

{{comic discussion}}