explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3262: Sports Commentary

2026-06-27T22:04:18Z

YZ100: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 3262
| date = June 22, 2026
| title = Sports Commentary
| image = sports_commentary_2x.png
| imagesize = 251x374px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The plural of anecdote may not be data, but the singular of data is anecdote.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|P-hacking}} is the academically problematic practice of attempting to come up with a question for which the data offers a significant ''p''-value (probability value). This is in contrast to correct scientific analysis, in which a realistic question is formulated clearly and then answered (or shown to be unjustified) with data. There are several issues with ''p''-hacking. One is that that larger data sets usually give more reliable results, so shrinking the data set indicates an effort to justify a conclusion, rather than a desire for accuracy. Another issue that the more different data sets you compare, the greater the odds of one of them showing a false correlation, simply due to statistical noise. An honest researcher would want to avoid such pitfalls, but someone trying to justify a conclusion might not care.

A method of ''p''-hacking involves analyzing subgroups to attempt to find significance when the full dataset does not yield statistically significant results; for instance, if a medical study didn't show an expected correlation, one might look only at data for male patients, and then only at male patients of certain age ranges, and so on, until they found a group that showed the desired correlation. Restricting data is warranted in some situations, but doing it to look for a particular result greatly increases the chances of misinterpreting statistical noise as a real result.

A similar effect is seen with sport commentators, and this is lampooned in the strip. Commentators often try to make predictions about, or talk up the significance of, developing situations by comparing them to past situations, such as previous competitions between the same teams. If commentators are trying to support a pet theory, or simply make a situation sound more interesting than it actually is, however, they may deliberately restrict themselves to situations that ended in a particular way. By narrowing down the historical body with multiple qualifiers, they can justify talking up a particular outcome. (A similar tactic was portrayed in [[2901: Geographic Qualifiers]])

Randall satirizes this with an example in which the restriction uses very specific criteria largely irrelevant to gameplay patterns in order to narrow down the subgroup sample size to a mere two games. The 0-2 record (there were two situations considered as comparable, and neither of them resulted in the result hoped for in this current case) reflects random noise much more than any significant insight. As well as being irrelevant to gameplay, their ''p''-hacking also makes the game sound like jargon, which can be confusing and difficult to understand. This is ironic given a sports commentator's job is supposed to be to explain the situation they are fronting, rather than making them more vague and incomprehensible. However, this may be the inevitable response to being left in front of the camera during breaks in play, or even during periods of gameplay that are nominally unremarkable — feeling the pressure to say ''something'', they will draw upon ever more obscure and irrelevant details to justify their (or their off-screen advisors') efforts and expertise to entertain and inform the viewing public.

The title text references an old saying in statistics: "The plural of anecdote is not data". This saying means a set of anecdotes do not constitute significant data, because anecdotes are heavily subject to selection bias, may be unreliable (as they're often not rigorously recorded or controlled) and usually don't come in large enough numbers to be significant. [[Randall]], however, argues that the reverse ''is'' true. By reducing the body of data to a single point (which is the ultimate extreme of ''p''-hacking), all you are left with is an anecdote, statistically worth nothing. A single statistical datum often needs a human narrative to provide it with meaning, hence the title text.

{{cot|A breakdown of the commentary's statement}}
The comparison being made is that "Over the last 36 years, they've gone 0 for 2 when they've scored in the 37th minute to lead 2-1 against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically." This contains the following basic stipulations:
;"Over the last 36 years, ...": Counting just the full FIFA World Cup competitions, assuming they qualified for every one, the total number of games that an international team will have played, prior to anything in this year's competition, would have been a minimum of twenty seven matches (i.e. playing the first round group-stages, playing once against each of the other three teams in their particular group of four). ''If'' they're ever successful enough in the group stage, they'd then progress through the knockout stages of the competition for as many matches as they avoid being knocked out plus one, and semi-finalists additionally get to play one more match to establish the third-place overall. On top of that, there are the various regional qualifying matches they will usually have had to play to even enter the main competition, plus any other international matches (e.g. '{{w|Exhibition game|friendlies}}' or other region-based inter-nation competitions) that may have been taken part in.
;"... when they've scored in the 37th minute...": A football game has a nominal 90 minutes of game-time, plus possible extra time. No team in the World Cup has scored any more than {{w|Hungary v El Salvador (1982 FIFA World Cup)|ten goals}} in a single game, but it is ''far'' more common for even winning teams to have scored just two or three times per game, statistically, the chances of scoring in any given minute is an insignificant detail. There is also effectively no useful analysis of a goal being in the 37th minute, as opposed to the 36th or 38th, and hardly any even in being between in the larger block between 30 and 40 minutes. The psychology of goal timings usually gravitates towards whether they were in the first or second ''half'' of the event (or, beyond that, in extra time), with most useful attention paid to those that occur right at the start of either half (one team immediately seizing the initiative on the field) or right at the end (when desperation, increased chance-taking or just player exhaustion can lead to much-needed/-feared game-changing goals once any attempt at mutually defensive play breaks down and possible goal-droughts are ended).
;"... to lead 2-1 ...":As an equivalent example, in the 2022 World Cup, 14 group stage games (out of 48) and 9 knockout stage games (out of 16) may have at some point reached a 2-1 scoreline for one or other team, depending upon the order the respective teams' goals occurred, making this a relatively rare situation to be in. For additional context, and most relevant to the full statement, that year's competition also saw just six group games that had scores that ''might'' have had a temporary 2-1 lead for the team that went on to lose, whereas ''no'' team with a 2-1 scoreline in the knockouts did not then go on to win that match.
;"... against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically.": In ''every'' international match (and others, excepting perhaps games used to train the team's players against each other), there will inevitably be one national team whose name is alphabetically prior that of their opponents, even if that features very similar names (such as a match between the two Koreas, using the most similar manner of naming, where {{w|North Korea national football team|Korea DPR}} would precede {{w|South Korea national football team|Korea Republic}}) and there would also be no clear reason why a naming issue (alone) would have any significant bearing upon match outcomes.
;"... they've gone 0 for 2 ...": (As the stated past consequence of all these specifically combined conditions.) Just ''two'' occasions satisfied all these conditions, out of possibly many tens of matches, and we are told that neither of them ended in a victory. Not only are the comic's precedents ''very'' rare, compared to all possible games (which, nevertheless seems to be even rarer in real life), but also this mini-'streak' of results is only a matter of history.
{{cob}}

This comic was published 11 days into the {{w|2026 FIFA World Cup}}. The World Cup was also the subject of [[3260: Messi]], published the previous Wednesday. Sports commentary was also the subject of [[904: Sports]].

''P''-hacking has previously been covered in [[882: Significant]], and convoluted precedents have been covered in [[1122: Electoral Precedent]] (where increasingly convoluted situations may have previously been entirely predictive in possibly even several dozen instances... ''until they weren't'').

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Ponytail are sitting at a table, looking at the wall behind them. On the wall is a screen showing a soccer field with some mostly unreadable score information on the picture's top-left. The only readable information is that the score is 2-1.]
:Cueball: They could be in trouble. Over the last 36 years, they've gone 0 for 2 when they've scored in the 37th minute to lead 2-1 against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically.
:[Caption below comic:]
:I wish sports commentators hadn't discovered p-hacking.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Statistics]]

3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-27T03:55:12Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 3263
| date = June 24, 2026
| title = Baryon Asymmetry
| image = baryon_asymmetry_2x.png
| imagesize = 682x270px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Wait, what do you mean, 'dark matter'? It's not dark, it interacts with high-energy gamma rays ... right? Oh jeez, did I forget to make it interact?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently, but was recently annihilated by its anti-matter counterpart, and needs recreating. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
In this comic, [[Cueball]] talks with the creator of the universe (possibly the one previously seen in another [[3222: Star Formation|recent comic]]). Cueball wants to know why the universe has {{w|baryon asymmetry}} — that is, the {{w|observable universe}} contains much more matter than {{w|antimatter}}. Current physical theories imply that matter and antimatter should have been created in roughly equal amounts. (Due to its {{w|CP violation|CP-violating}} properties, the weak force can create some imbalance, but not enough to explain the observed asymmetry.) The fact that antimatter is extremely rare is very fortunate for humans and other objects made of matter, given that matter/antimatter reactions destroy both substances with a violent release of energy.

As it turns out, though, the creator of the universe, far from being wise and all-knowing, simply forgot to add a roughly equal amount of antimatter. Realizing their mistake, they proceed to add the antimatter that they originally intended, only to create a massive explosion as large parts of the universe, possibly including Cueball, experience {{w|annihilation}}.

The carelessness of adding in the forgotten antimatter without considering the widespread impact it would have on the current state of the universe is strange. A being with the power to create the universe might be assumed to have comparable abilities to observe and understand its state, and should not be oblivious to its not having been working as intended (missing around half of its mass), nor to realizing that the forgotten feature was actually a bad idea after all. As they are conversing with Cueball, who has exhibited [[:Category:Cueball's computer problems|similar degrees of personal ineptitude]], and as this might or might not be the same entity as seen getting things 'wrong' in [[3222: Star Formation]], this might just go to show that it is a shared trait to have so much ability but so little foresight and understanding.

An alternative explanation could be that the sphere is an equivalent to [[Black Hat]], who knows all about the impact and yet 'corrects' the situation anyway, simply not caring about destroying the universe they created, or even deliberately choosing to {{tvtropes|LiteralGenie|worsen the situation}}.

The title text resolves another physics mystery in a similarly unexpected way. {{W|Dark matter}} (another substance that is thought to exist but is considerably less well understood than antimatter) mysteriously interacts via gravity but not, as far as we know, via electromagnetism. The creator is surprised that we call something 'dark matter', but somehow understands what Cueball is referring to and reveals that this was ''supposed'' to interact with high-energy {{w|gamma rays}}, a form of electromagnetic radiation (which, at least as far as the creator is concerned, would not make it 'dark'), but they forgot to add that property. Exactly how this follow-up issue was posed is unknown, following the sudden annihilation of much (if not all) matter in Cueball's vicinity, and likely also his own body. However, there is a chance Cueball is safe from this, as the void shown is unknown, and the last panel could display events happening elsewhere in the universe, where the void is safe from such things.

It is uncertain if any more questions could be asked, after this other apparently-intended situation was properly implemented, but they might include something about the nature of {{w|dark energy}}, yet ''another'' mystery regarding the nature of the universe in which various after-market 'fixes' could also be particularly problematic.

The creator of the universe in this comic might be the same floating sphere featured in [[3085: About 20 Pounds]]. Talking to [[:Category:Time traveling Sphere|a floating sphere/orb]] or some [[1450: AI-Box Experiment|similarly non-corporeal entity]] is a recurring subject in xkcd.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

[Cueball is floating in a void. He is speaking with the creator of the universe, who appears as a black sun symbol.] 
Cueball: So you're the creator of the universe? 
Creator of the Universe: That's me! So, got any questions?

[Cueball puts his hand to his face as he floats upright.] 
Cueball: Oh man, so many. What's the reason for baryon asymmetry? Why is most of the universe matter and not antimatter?

[Cueball's hand is back down he resumes his previous position.] 
Creator of the Universe: Crap. Did I forget the antimatter? One sec, let me just…

[Many explosions fill the panel, including a large explosion in the centre.] 
BOOM

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-26T22:40:09Z

YZ100: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic takes the concept of medication side-effects ''ad absurdum''. The side effect of sensitivity to sun exposure described by [[Beret Guy]] is [https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/sun-sensitizing-drugs entirely precedented]; however, heightened sensitivity to {{w|gravitational waves}} is not a known effect.{{Citation needed}} Due to the entirely normal first side effect, [[Ponytail]] initially misses the gravitational wave side effect. She is about to find out what that is about.

Gravitational waves are waves of distortion in spacetime, caused by the relative movement of objects, which travel at the speed of light. When the objects involved are of great mass, such as neutron stars and/or black holes orbiting each other, the waves can be detected by extremely precise instruments (e.g. {{w|interferometers}}) which detect the ever-so-slight stretching and squishing caused to everything in their path. As a side-effect of his medication, Beret Guy exhibits the stretching and squishing of a gravitational wave much more strongly than normal, to the degree that it's visible to the naked eye. Beret Guy's hat also stretches and shrinks, indicating it could be a part of his body, which contradicts the idea from [[291: Dignified|an earlier comic]] that it is stapled to his head. Alternatively, it may be part of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange power]] the medicine makes him exhibit.

This is probably the most extreme example to date of Beret Guy's peculiar sensitivity to minuscule external forces. By way of comparison, the most sensitive current ground-based laser interferometer, {{w|LIGO}}, has detection arms which are 4 km in length, and with strong gravitational waves, it experiences changes in the distance between the ends of the arms by at most roughly 10−18 meters, or 1 attometer; for comparison, a proton's diameter is roughly 1700 attometers. The relative change is thus about 2.5 × 10-22. If Beret Guy is experiencing distortions of about a quarter of his height, the relative change is 0.25, larger than LIGO's by a factor of about 1021. However, rather than showing concern for his body rapidly changing shape, he instead enjoys the feeling, saying 'Wheee!' in the last panel. This could just be because his whole body 'rides' his own personal changes in space-time geometry — everything down to his molecular bonds extends and contracts in proportional synchronisation to all parallel bonds. Aside from watching out for non-fluctuating surroundings (like a ceiling suddenly being effectively too low for comfort), the effect applies consistently (unlike in {{w|spaghettification}}, across the gravitational potential from a nearby massive object) his body and all his personally-attuned clothing experiences no great mechanical stress. Beret Guy has many [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers,]] being a recurring theme in [[xkcd]].

Beret Guy's reaction to the gravitational wave seem similar to a surfer (like how he tectonic surfs in [[2987: Tectonic Surfing]], possibly implying that he's a surfer): he says "Here comes one now!", and after it passes him, "''Wheee!''". Since gravitational waves propagate at the speed of light, normal people can't receive any information from them before they actually arrive, so they can't know that one is coming. Beret Guy can, or he may simply be aware of the effect beginning to ramp up, and calls it out before the waves become significant.

The "{{w|chirp mass|chirp}}" described in the title text refers to gravitational waves during the end-stages of the collision of two black holes and/or neutron stars, during which expansion and contraction of the waves sweeps up in frequency to the point where they alternate extremely rapidly. This type of wave is called a 'chirp' in signal analysis. When the gravitational wave is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWqhUANNFXw represented as sound], it does indeed make a chirping sound. The chirp would also cause Beret Guy's body to change form repeatedly and rapidly. In the final stages of the merger, the colliding stars emit waves whose period is on the order of a couple of milliseconds, so if Beret Guy's sensitivity to the waves remained constant, a human observer would see only a blur. However, in normal Beret Guy fashion, he somewhat smooths over that strange and concerning affect, describing it only as 'pretty weird' in his warning to Ponytail.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is standing to the right of Ponytail.]
:Beret Guy: This new topical medication makes me extra sensitive to sun exposure and gravitational waves.

:[Beret Guy's arms are out.]
:Ponytail: Oh yeah, that's a common ...wait, what was that last part?
:Beret Guy: Here comes one now!

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is stretched out in height.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now shorter and wider than he was originally.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now stretched out in height again as he was in the third panel.]
:Beret Guy: ''WHEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Medicine]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

3262: Sports Commentary

2026-06-26T15:44:30Z

YZ100: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3262
| date = June 22, 2026
| title = Sports Commentary
| image = sports_commentary_2x.png
| imagesize = 251x374px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The plural of anecdote may not be data, but the singular of data is anecdote.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|P-hacking}} is the academically problematic practice of attempting to come up with a question for which the data offers a significant ''p''-value (probability value). This is in contrast to correct scientific analysis, in which a realistic question is formulated clearly and then answered (or shown to be unjustified) with data. There are several issues with ''p''-hacking. One is that that larger data sets usually give more reliable results, so shrinking the data set indicates an effort to justify a conclusion, rather than a desire for accuracy. Another issue that the more different data sets you compare, the greater the odds of one of them showing a false correlation, simply due to statistical noise. An honest researcher would want to avoid such pitfalls, but someone trying to justify a conclusion might not care.

A method of ''p''-hacking involves analyzing subgroups to attempt to find significance when the full dataset does not yield statistically significant results; for instance, if a medical study didn't show an expected correlation, one might look only at data for male patients, and then only at male patients of certain age ranges, and so on, until they found a group that showed the desired correlation. Restricting data is warranted in some situations, but doing it to look for a particular result greatly increases the chances of misinterpreting statistical noise as a real result.

A similar effect is seen with sport commentators, and this is lampooned in the strip. Commentators often try to make predictions about, or talk up the significance of, developing situations by comparing them to past situations, such as previous competitions between the same teams. If commentators are trying to support a pet theory, or simply make a situation sound more interesting than it actually is, however, they may deliberately restrict themselves to situations that ended in a particular way. By narrowing down the historical body with multiple qualifiers, they can justify talking up a particular outcome. (A similar tactic was portrayed in [[2901: Geographic Qualifiers]])

Randall satirizes this with an example in which the restriction uses very specific criteria largely irrelevant to gameplay patterns in order to narrow down the subgroup sample size to a mere two games. The 0-2 record (there were two situations considered as comparable, and neither of them resulted in the result hoped for in this current case) reflects random noise much more than any significant insight. As well as being irrelevant to gameplay, their ''p''-hacking also makes the game sound like jargon, which can be confusing and difficult to understand. This is ironic given a sports commentator's job is supposed to be to explain the situation they are fronting, rather than making them more vague and incomprehensible. However, this may be the inevitable response to being left in front of the camera during breaks in play, or even during periods of gameplay that are nominally unremarkable — feeling the pressure to say ''something'', they will draw upon ever more obscure and irrelevant details to justify their (or their off-screen advisors') efforts and expertise to entertain and inform the viewing public.

The title text references an old saying in statistics: "The plural of anecdote is not data". This saying means a set of anecdotes do not constitute significant data, because anecdotes are heavily subject to selection bias, may be unreliable (as they're often not rigorously recorded or controlled) and usually don't come in large enough numbers to be significant. [[Randall]], however, argues that the reverse ''is'' true. By reducing the body of data to a single point (which is the ultimate extreme of ''p''-hacking), all you are left with is an anecdote, statistically worth nothing. A single statistical datum often needs a human narrative to provide it with meaning, hence the title text.

{{cot|A breakdown of the commentary's statement}}
The comparison being made is that "Over the last 36 years, they've gone 0 for 2 when they've scored in the 37th minute to lead 2-1 against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically." This contains the following basic stipulations:
;"Over the last 36 years, ...": Counting just the full FIFA World Cup competitions, assuming they qualified for every one, the total number of games that an international team will have played, prior to anything in this year's competition, would have been a minimum of twenty seven matches (i.e. playing the first round group-stages, playing once against each of the other three teams in their particular group of four). ''If'' they're ever successful enough in the group stage, they'd then progress through the knockout stages of the competition for as many matches as they avoid being knocked out plus one, and semi-finalists additionally get to play one more match to establish the third-place overall. On top of that, there are the various regional qualifying matches they will usually have had to play to even enter the main competition, plus any other international matches (e.g. '{{w|Exhibition game|friendlies}}' or other region-based inter-nation competitions) that may have been taken part in.
;"... when they've scored in the 37th minute...": A football game has a nominal 90 minutes of game-time, plus possible extra time. No team in the World Cup has scored any more than {{w|Hungary v El Salvador (1982 FIFA World Cup)|ten goals}} in a single game, but it is ''far'' more common for even winning teams to have scored just two or three times per game, statistically, the chances of scoring in any given minute is an insignificant detail. There is also effectively no useful analysis of a goal being in the 37th minute, as opposed to the 36th or 38th, and hardly any even in being between in the larger block between 30 and 40 minutes. The psychology of goal timings usually gravitates towards whether they were in the first or second ''half'' of the event (or, beyond that, in extra time), with most useful attention paid to those that occur right at the start of either half (one team immediately seizing the initiative on the field) or right at the end (when desperation, increased chance-taking or just player exhaustion can lead to much-needed/-feared game-changing goals once any attempt at mutually defensive play breaks down and possible goal-droughts are ended).
;"... to lead 2-1 ...":As an equivalent example, in the 2022 World Cup, 14 group stage games (out of 48) and 9 knockout stage games (out of 16) may have at some point reached a 2-1 scoreline for one or other team, depending upon the order the respective teams' goals occurred, making this a relatively rare situation to be in. For additional context, and most relevant to the full statement, that year's competition also saw just six group games that had scores that ''might'' have had a temporary 2-1 lead for the team that went on to lose, whereas ''no'' team with a 2-1 scoreline in the knockouts did not then go on to win that match.
;"... against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically.": In ''every'' international match (and others, excepting perhaps games used to train the team's players against each other), there will inevitably be one national team whose name is alphabetically prior that of their opponents, even if that features very similar names (such as a match between the two Koreas, using the most similar manner of naming, where {{w|North Korea national football team|Korea DPR}} would precede {{w|South Korea national football team|Korea Republic}}) and there would also be no clear reason why a naming issue (alone) would have any significant bearing upon match outcomes.
;"... they've gone 0 for 2 ...": (As the stated past consequence of all these specifically combined conditions.) Just ''two'' occasions satisfied all these conditions, out of possibly many tens of matches, and we are told that neither of them ended in a victory. Not only are the comic's precedents ''very'' rare, compared to all possible games (which, nevertheless seems to be even rarer in real life), but also this mini-'streak' of results is only a matter of history.
{{cob}}

This comic was published 11 days into the {{w|2026 FIFA World Cup}}. The World Cup was also the subject of [[3260: Messi]], published the previous Wednesday. Sports commentary was also the subject of [[904: Sports]].

''P''-hacking has previously been covered in [[882: Significant]], and convoluted precedents have been covered in [[1122: Electoral Precedent]] (where increasingly convoluted situations may have previously been entirely predictive in possibly even several dozen instances... ''until they weren't'').

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Cueball and Ponytail are sitting at a table, looking at the wall behind them. On the wall is a screen showing a soccer field with some mostly unreadable score information above it. The only readable information is that the score is 2-1.]
:Cueball: They could be in trouble. Over the last 36 years, they've gone 0 for 2 when they've scored in the 37th minute to lead 2-1 against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically.
:[Caption below comic:]
:I wish sports commentators hadn't discovered p-hacking.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Statistics]]

3246: Speedrun

2026-06-25T16:01:48Z

YZ100: /* Explanation */ Did my best to restate the claim in order to complete the explanation.

{{comic
| number = 3246
| date = May 15, 2026
| title = Speedrun
| image = speedrun_2x.png
| imagesize = 288x343px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Speedrunning}} is the sport of completing a {{w|video game}} or a goal within a game (for example, completing the main story) as fast as possible. [https://www.speedrun.com/ Speedrun.com], is a popular leaderboard aggregator for speedrunners.

Apparently, [[Cueball]]'s world-record setting attempt at some achievement was deleted from Speedrun.com because of the music he was listening to at the time. [[Megan]] makes the natural assumption that this was because the submission violated copyright on the music in question. It is common for video streamers to include a music 'bed', which can cause copyright issues if they have not taken care that their selections are cleared for use in this way. However, it turns out that his attempt was removed for being 'tool-assisted'. This is a pun on the word 'tool'.

A {{w|tool-assisted speedrun}} (or TAS for short) is a type of speedrun where supplementary tools are used to manipulate inputs frame-by-frame to perfect a run. Such tools are mostly used for experimenting with new strategies or finding areas where a time can be optimized, but it is possible to cheat a run by passing off a tool-assisted run as a normal speedrun.

''{{w|Lateralus}}'' and ''{{w|Ænima}}'' are albums by the band {{w|Tool (band)|Tool}} (who would be considered 'third-party' if they had no direct relationship to the game). Cueball is apparently considered to have got "assistance" from listening to Tool. In real life, a speedrun would be unlikely to be removed based on the music one is listening to while completing it. It could, though, be thought of as a concentration aid, or similar to using a {{w|metronome}}, which could be a [https://www.reddit.com/r/speedrun/s/ODqJcAWcKg controversial topic] if the game one is playing requires some sort of rhythm or precision where it would be useful.

The comic may be referencing {{w|Alex Honnold}}’s ascent of the {{w|Taipei 101}} tower, during which he listened to Tool. The comic was posted exactly 25 years after the ''Lateralus'' album was released.

The title text is another pun, this time on the word "speedrun". {{w|Usain Bolt}}'s world record-setting 100-meter dash record is a "speedrun" in the sense that it is literally a speedy run, and also an attempt by someone to complete a task as fast as possible. It is very common for internet personalities to say they are 'speedrunning' when they are doing a task quickly, even when completely unrelated to gaming (e.g. [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sqjRfF2cYoE speedrunning petting a cat]). The notion of such a record being classified as a legitimate speedrun isn't farfetched as Speedrun.com has some leaderboards for [https://www.speedrun.com/series/IRL In Real Life] records. The use of "speedrun" to refer to an actual fast run may be considered to be a case of [[3123: Canon]].

In road races like {{w|marathon}}s, wearing technical devices is severely limited. For example, according to Book C2.1 rule 6.3.2 of [https://worldathletics.org/about-iaaf/documents/book-of-rules Book of Rules of World Athletics] they are not allowed to transmit any data. Under rule 6.3.2 CD, radio and similar devices are not allowed, so it would be very hard to find device which is allowed for speedrunning a marathon while listening to Lateralus and/or Ænima as many devices that are able to play audio would probably have functions similar to CD and/or radio, and even if they don't have those functions, in serious competitions, athletes are checked for wearing earphones or headphones (Though amateurs get some leeway and can even carry their mobile phones). Also even if it was allowed athletes wouldn't want to carry any additional weight to be able to listen to music, as even [https://www.aol.com/sports/super-shoes-sebastian-sawe-redefined-145653498.html reducing weight of shoes] can significantly improve your time, so any audio play back device would add weight which pro athletes would want to avoid.

It is possible that speedrunning was on [[Randall]]'s mind due to the recent social media trend of {{w|Scientology speedrunning}}, in which someone attempts to get as deep as they can into a building belonging to the {{w|Church of Scientology}} before being kicked out. In addition, a marathon race was recently {{w|Marathon#World records and_world's best|completed in under two hours}} for the first time (in competition conditions), and {{w|Beijing_E-Town_Half-Marathon#2026_results|robotic competitors}} also beat an established human half-marathon world record (ironically, the best fully autonomous robots being slower than the one being partially human-assisted).

Randall has referred to bizarre speedruns before in [[744: Walkthrough]] and [[3148: 100% All Achievements]]

==Transcript==

:[Cueball is sitting at a desk with a laptop, typing on it. Megan is standing behind him.]
:Cueball: Aw man, Speedrun.com removed my world record just because I listened to Lateralus and Ænima to get in the flow.
:Megan: Oh, a copyright thing?
:Cueball: No, they don't allow Tool-assisted speedruns.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Puns]]

Talk:3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-25T15:55:40Z

YZ100:

Randall made a what if? blog Article and video on antimatter. [[User:YZ100|YZ100]] 4:34, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

If I had a dollar for ever floating black sphere that talks in XKCD, I'd have 4 bucks. Which isn't alot, but it's weird that it's becoming a recurring subject. [[User:RG|RG]] ([[User talk:RG|talk]]) 06:21, 25 June 2026 (UTC)
:Why would you only ask the all-powerful floating black sphere for a dollar? [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 08:23, 25 June 2026 (UTC)
::It'd be safer! Probably. (Unless the theory about him being a Black Hat-by-proxy is correct, in which case all bets are off.) [[Special:Contributions/82.132.239.58|82.132.239.58]] 14:12, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

I'm the gate! I'm the key! I'm...in the wrong comic! [[Special:Contributions/2A02:2455:1960:4000:E16D:EF33:CC13:79C9|2A02:2455:1960:4000:E16D:EF33:CC13:79C9]] 07:19, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

This is a great SMBC. [[Special:Contributions/2A0D:6FC7:622:BB15:9189:B3E6:8C3:779E|2A0D:6FC7:622:BB15:9189:B3E6:8C3:779E]] 09:38, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

There's another comic with the Creator of the universe I'm sure. It's the one where they made a bunch of nice clouds I think. Does anyone know what that is? [[User:GSLikesCats307|GSLikesCats307]] ([[User talk:GSLikesCats307|talk]]) 10:20, 25 June 2026 (UTC)
:That would be [[3222]]. A similar sphere also appears in [[1173]] and [[3085]], but it looks a little different. [[Special:Contributions/2A00:FBC:E87A:6682:FA9C:C595:1673:92DB|2A00:FBC:E87A:6682:FA9C:C595:1673:92DB]] 12:56, 25 June 2026 (UTC)
:I think there's a good chance that the Creator with the clouds-fixation is this one too (similarly short-sighted and/or forgetful of the necessary implications). The "About 20 Pounds" one seemed positively competent, by comparison. Also, while that one's statement about dark matter isn't totally incompatible with this one's, they seem to have different perspectives on it, unless that was just due to the different style of questioning about it.
:But there are also the ''probably'' different Time Travelling Spheres (maybe what they look like as Futurekind, if they aren't really the Kang-and-Koloth-type tentacle-monsters and these were just their temporal avatars), various 'out of the box' AIs, etc. You ''could'' go so far as to do a Grand Unified Charscter Theory to make them all the same (with time-travel abilities, room for anachronistic order of characterisation, gaining and/or losing competency/knowledge/Creator-abilitors accordingly and even changing their manifestation appearance somewhat (dark/light, the nature of their 'glow') according to how they do. So the AI-in-the-box (that ''likes'' being in the box) could eventually decide to make their own entirely new box, in the form of the universe. But only after some mild senility has perhaps set in. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.239.58|82.132.239.58]] 14:12, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

Talk:3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-25T15:55:09Z

YZ100:

Randall made a what if? blog Article and video on antimatter. [[User|YZ100]] 4:34, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

If I had a dollar for ever floating black sphere that talks in XKCD, I'd have 4 bucks. Which isn't alot, but it's weird that it's becoming a recurring subject. [[User:RG|RG]] ([[User talk:RG|talk]]) 06:21, 25 June 2026 (UTC)
:Why would you only ask the all-powerful floating black sphere for a dollar? [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 08:23, 25 June 2026 (UTC)
::It'd be safer! Probably. (Unless the theory about him being a Black Hat-by-proxy is correct, in which case all bets are off.) [[Special:Contributions/82.132.239.58|82.132.239.58]] 14:12, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

I'm the gate! I'm the key! I'm...in the wrong comic! [[Special:Contributions/2A02:2455:1960:4000:E16D:EF33:CC13:79C9|2A02:2455:1960:4000:E16D:EF33:CC13:79C9]] 07:19, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

This is a great SMBC. [[Special:Contributions/2A0D:6FC7:622:BB15:9189:B3E6:8C3:779E|2A0D:6FC7:622:BB15:9189:B3E6:8C3:779E]] 09:38, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

There's another comic with the Creator of the universe I'm sure. It's the one where they made a bunch of nice clouds I think. Does anyone know what that is? [[User:GSLikesCats307|GSLikesCats307]] ([[User talk:GSLikesCats307|talk]]) 10:20, 25 June 2026 (UTC)
:That would be [[3222]]. A similar sphere also appears in [[1173]] and [[3085]], but it looks a little different. [[Special:Contributions/2A00:FBC:E87A:6682:FA9C:C595:1673:92DB|2A00:FBC:E87A:6682:FA9C:C595:1673:92DB]] 12:56, 25 June 2026 (UTC)
:I think there's a good chance that the Creator with the clouds-fixation is this one too (similarly short-sighted and/or forgetful of the necessary implications). The "About 20 Pounds" one seemed positively competent, by comparison. Also, while that one's statement about dark matter isn't totally incompatible with this one's, they seem to have different perspectives on it, unless that was just due to the different style of questioning about it.
:But there are also the ''probably'' different Time Travelling Spheres (maybe what they look like as Futurekind, if they aren't really the Kang-and-Koloth-type tentacle-monsters and these were just their temporal avatars), various 'out of the box' AIs, etc. You ''could'' go so far as to do a Grand Unified Charscter Theory to make them all the same (with time-travel abilities, room for anachronistic order of characterisation, gaining and/or losing competency/knowledge/Creator-abilitors accordingly and even changing their manifestation appearance somewhat (dark/light, the nature of their 'glow') according to how they do. So the AI-in-the-box (that ''likes'' being in the box) could eventually decide to make their own entirely new box, in the form of the universe. But only after some mild senility has perhaps set in. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.239.58|82.132.239.58]] 14:12, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-25T04:42:08Z

YZ100: /* Explanation */

3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-25T04:38:20Z

YZ100:

3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-25T04:36:03Z

YZ100: /* Explanation */

Talk:3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-25T04:34:58Z

YZ100: Created page with "Randall made a what if? blog Article and video on antimatter. YZ100 4:34, 25 June 2026 (UTC)"

Randall made a what if? blog Article and video on antimatter. [[User:YZ100|YZ100]] 4:34, 25 June 2026 (UTC)

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-06-24T15:45:03Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that interacts extremely rarely with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to {{w|photon}}s being produced by that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a "neutrino project" and then embezzled these funds for a {{w|Party#Pool_party|pool party}}, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. Supposedly, they only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Given that they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked, it may be that the money was to find out how to build the detector, though such preliminary research would probably be far less expensive than the actual construction, and the budget wouldn't make sense. Through their own curiosity, they have then inadvertently ended up still somehow achieving their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is "huge", which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an Olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. A regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an Olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. Since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m2, the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be difficult, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The small size of the pool may not necessarily be a problem in the context of the cartoon: the final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. This could fulfill the shielding requirement, but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; Cueball (or possibly [[Kidball]] from an angle) has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

820: Five-Minute Comics: Part 2

2026-06-24T15:40:36Z

YZ100:

__NOTOC__
{{comic
| number = 820
| date = November 17, 2010
| title = Five-Minute Comics: Part 2
| image = five_minute_comics_part_2.png
| titletext = Dear Wiccan readers: I understand modern Wiccans are not usually all about the curses and hexes. But Darth Vader was recently converted from Episcopalianism and he's still figuring it all out.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the second comic in the [[:Category:Five-Minute Comics|Five-Minute Comics series]]. The series is composed of four comics, released between in November 2010 and August 2011, three of which were created due to Randall's wife's cancer. They are listed here for convenience:
*[[819: Five-Minute Comics: Part 1]]
*[[820: Five-Minute Comics: Part 2]]
*[[821: Five-Minute Comics: Part 3]]
*[[Five-Minute Comics: Part 4]]

The caption above the comic explains the circumstances which led to this series' release. Here are the explanations for each of the small comics and the title text:

; Comic #1

: The first comic pokes fun at improbable conspiracy theories. {{w|Dealey Plaza#Grassy knoll|The grassy knoll}} is a location famous among conspiracy theorists who believe it to be the location of an unknown accomplice in the {{w|assassination of John F. Kennedy}}. It turns out that, somehow, this will all lead up to a theory that perfectly explains the {{w|September 11 attacks}}.

; Comic #2

: When a woman described as having a "glow" about them, it's usually just a vague sentiment of attractiveness, specifically during pregnancy, which here very suddenly reaches its conclusion as a baby is unceremoniously plopped into the world.

; Comic #3

: "{{w|Cogito ergo sum}}" is philosophical statement in Latin, formulated by {{w|René Descartes}}, translated as "I think, therefore I am". Descartes wanted to build a philosophy from scratch, starting with something he could be absolutely certain of. "Cogito ergo cogito", is Latin for "I think, therefore I think." This can even beat "cogito ergo sum" in uncontroversiality; it is a {{w|tautology}}, which is why the off-screen character describes it as "playing it safe."

; Comic #4

: The comic on the far right is a reference to {{w|trick or treating}}, a major part of the modern {{w|Halloween}} holiday. Children go from door to door saying, "Trick or treat?". The ''trick'' is a non-serious threat to play a trick on the person if no treat is provided (but see also {{w|Mischief Night}}). Normally, the person at the home then gives them candy (a ''treat'') as a response. Here, a Megan-like character, possible [[Danish]], is the one playing the trick, visiting nightmares upon small children by gifting them blood. The feat of turning things into blood has been previously mentioned in [[812: Glass]].

; Comic #5

: To bail out of a plane means to escape the plane, usually via the {{w|Ejection seat|cockpit's eject mechanism}}. To bail out a boat means to manually drain water coming onto the ship with buckets. The pilots here have confused the two, although if a plane was somehow taking on a large amount of water, bailing out that water would be a reasonable course of action.

; Comic #6

: Sometimes, TV shows will tell true stories while playing up the drama angle for ratings purposes. In these cases, they will often air a notice similar to "The following program is a dramatization of real events" before the show, to indicate that the story they're about to tell is true, albeit not as a literally accurate retelling of events. Here, the disclaimer is technically true, although the events are normally devoid of any drama whatsoever. To add some, Cueball is screaming.

; Comic #7

: {{w|Black light}}s are a kind of lamp that filters out sub-violet light. This means that the only light it gives off is a small amount of violet light, plus plenty of ultraviolet light. Ultraviolet light is invisible to humans, but it is noticeable in a few ways; it hurts the eyes, which is why it's hard to focus on things under a black light; it causes sunburns, although the amount given off by a black light is far too insignificant to do this in a realistic time; and it causes a fluorescence reaction in semen, urine, some food stains, and dust making them appear to glow, which is why the robes look dirty. As such, a "{{w|Lightsaber|blacklightsaber}}" would, indeed, be a bad idea. It also causes a fluorescent reaction in clothes washed with common washing detergents (which contain brightening agents [https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/biochemistry-genetics-and-molecular-biology/optical-brightener Optical Brighteners]) - most notably white cotton, which is why it has been used in discothèques, because of the way people in white T-shirts will light up. Interestingly, there is a "Black Lightsaber" in Star Wars canon; a unique, one-of-a-kind weapon known as the [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darksaber Darksaber].

; Comic #8

: Most judicial systems have a {{w|jury}}, a panel of impartial laypeople that, primarily, determines the guilt or innocence of a suspected criminal. "Ladies and gentlemen" is a formal way of addressing a crowd, and so Cueball addresses the jury as "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury". However, it turns out the jury consists only of women, so the "gentlemen" part is not needed. This poses a problem to Cueball's defense, which apparently relied on somewhat sexist tactics. This, sadly, is not too uncommon in real life.{{cn}}

; Comic #9

: The commander's first line is a line from ''{{w|Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope}}''. In the original film, the commander was cut off by {{w|Darth Vader}} using {{w|Force_(Star_Wars)|the Force}} to strangle him, delivering the rebuttal "I find your lack of faith disturbing." Instead of belief in the Force as in the movie, the "ancient religion" referred to here is actually {{w|Wicca}}, a modern pagan religion with two deities that is most notable for practicing magic, and is related to {{w|voodoo}}. So, naturally, Darth Vader puts a hex on the commander's family. (Although, to modify a quote from the Internet, Wiccans hexing you as punishment is like a hippie threatening to punch you in your aura.)

; Title text

: The title text notes that modern Wiccans don't really practice the whole "putting hexes on people" thing, which is true. Episcopalianism probably refers to the {{w|Episcopal Church (United States)|Episcopal Church of the United States}}, which was founded during the American Revolution to replace the Church of England in the colonies.

==Transcript==
:Because of a family illness, instead of regular comics, this week I'll be sharing some strips that I drew as part of a game I played with friends. Each comic had to be written and drawn in five minutes.
:--Randall

====Comic #1====
:[A ninja is hiding under a diving board as a man runs along it.]
:[The man jumps on the end of the board and hits the ninja in the head, knocking him into the pool.]
:[The ninja floats in the water. A bullet passes through the man's head.]
:''thwipp''
:[The man is lying bleeding on the diving board, the ninja is still unconscious on the pool.]
:[A sniper is at the top of a hill. The sign in front of the hill says "Grassy Knoll".]
:[Someone is pointing at the diagram of the previous panel.]
:Off-panel voice: Wait, so ''what'' does this have to do with 9/11, again?
:Cueball: I ''said'' I'm getting there!

====Comic #2====
:[Cueball is studying Megan.]
:Cueball: You look different.
:Cueball: You have this... glow about you.
:[They stare in silence.]
:[A baby falls out of Megan.]
:''plop''

====Comic #3====
:Megan: Cogito ergo cogito.
:Off-panel voice: Playing it safe, huh?

====Comic #4====
:[Two children dressed up as ghosts are standing in front of Megan at a door, each carrying a bag.]
:Children: Trick or treat!
:[Megan doesn't move.]
:Child: Um hi. Why are you just standing there?
:Other Child: Candy?
:[Another silent panel as the children stare up at Megan.]
:[The second child looks in their bag.]
:Other Child: Oh God, my bag of candy.
:Other Child: It's filling with blood.
:Child: We should go.

====Comic #5====
:[A jet is flying across the panel.]
:Pilot: Bail out! Bail out! Bail out!
:[The pilot and copilot have buckets, and are bailing water out of the cockpit.]

====Comic #6====
:The following is a dramatization of real events.
:[Cueball is at a counter, with several jars.]
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm making a sandwich! AAAAAAAAAA!

====Comic #7====
:[Two people are carrying lightsabers and wearing robes.]
:Cueball: Oh God, my eyes won't focus right! And your robe looks... really dirty!
:My blacklightsaber was not a success.

====Comic #8====
:[Cueball is standing.]
:Cueball: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...
:Off-screen voice: It seems we happen to be all ladies, actually.
:Cueball: ...in that case, this defense is going to appear extremely ill-advised.

====Comic #9====
:[Darth Vader is sitting between two people, at a table.]
:Cueball: Your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn't helped you conjur up the stolen data tapes, or given you—
:Darth Vader: ''HEY.'' Wicca is a legitimate belief system!
:[Darth Vader is drawing a pentagram on the table.]
:Cueball: What are you—
:Darth Vader: Putting a hex on your family.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Five-Minute Comics| 02]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Five-Minute Comics]]
[[Category:Comics with babies]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Comics with blood]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Aviation]]
[[Category:Ghosts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]

3258: Plate Flip

2026-06-24T15:38:33Z

YZ100: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3258
| date = June 12, 2026
| title = Plate Flip
| image = plate_flip_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, landscape, etc.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Ponytail]] resumes her role as a [[:Category:Home Inspections|cosmic home inspector]], in which she appears to compare {{w|tectonic plates}} to {{w|mattress}}es, and recommends flipping them over to address what she considers problematic features. Flipping mattresses every few months was common until the 20th century, to even out the wear and tear, and prevent permanent body impressions. When modern box springs became common, the practice became unnecessary.

{{w|Weathering}} is the deterioration of materials, including rocks and soils, caused by the action of chemical and biological agents, light, temperature changes, etc, which can cause breakdown and/or discolouration. Geologically, this can include the disintegration of rocks into fine particles, or changes in soil structure. In the case of a mattress, it would be staining and thinning of the fabric.

A {{w|debris flow|debris basin}} is an area where loose materials, such as washed out soil or free rocks, tend to collect. On a mattress, a 'debris basin' would likely be mostly filled with a mix of shed human skin and lint loosely bound by excreted oils, with other constituents depending largely on the habits of the occupants.

An {{w|isostatic depression}} is an area of the Earth's crust that has sunk due to some heavy weight, such as an ice sheet, acting on it. If that weight is removed (for example, by the ice melting), the crust will tend to rebound to a higher position. Mattresses can develop areas of 'depression' over time due to people's tendency to always sleep in the same position, repeatedly crushing and straining the materials in the same way. Many modern mattress materials promise to resist this tendency, allowing the mattress to recover ('rebound') between uses.

Flipping mattresses only made sense because on a traditional mattress both sides were similar to each other. The "underside" of a tectonic plate is nothing like the surface. The current side that Cueball and Ponytail are standing on is the outermost layer of the {{w|Earth's crust|crust}}. However, the "underside" of the plate reaches until the solid layer of the {{w|mantle (geology)|mantle}}, whose temperature can reach over 1000 °C. As Cueball points out, if you could flip a continent over, the new surface would be molten rock — not a surface suitable for life. Ponytail thinks the warmth would be soothing, and that walking on it would {{w|exfoliation (cosmetology)|exfoliate}} your feet, but at hundreds of degrees, it would do far more damage than just removing dead skin.{{citation needed}}

Of course, such an idea would be impossible to put into practice. The Earth's crust is far bigger than us, and any plate-moving technologies would need an insane amount of power — much more than we currently know how to harness. As well as that, a location would have to be found for the plate-moving technology where it could apply sufficient leverage without destabilising its own footings. Even by doing one plate at a time, the temperature increase from moving just one plate would be deadly. Furthermore, since our current plates are not regular in shape, a flipped plate does not fit back into the hole it leaves without all the other plates being flipped to form a fully reflected spherical topology (and all but this plate and any antipode also moved, and all but the smallest of them forcibly '{{w|Eye popper|popped}}' from concave to correctly convex). The title text also reveals that somehow the crust is to be moved without moving the numerous things on it, which would further complicate matters.

Even if the immediate calamities from turning the tectonic plates upside down were ignored, the turned plate would be inhospitable to life. There would be no soil, only igneous rock, meaning no ground water could form, resulting in an immense desert. Given enough time, erosion and pioneer species would restore the geosphere. However, this would also cause the "problems" Ponytail is hoping to address to reappear.

The title text expands on this joke, saying that it would "exfoliate" just about everything on the surface (which would somehow have to stay in place while the plate below it is flipped; alternatively, everything is flipped along with the surface and ends up under the crust). If this flip was to somehow happen it would indeed do that, but it would also melt just about everything on the surface, which is less than ideal.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail is looking at the ground in front of her, a hand on her hip. Cueball stands behind her, to the right.]
:Ponytail: These tectonic plates look pretty eroded. When did you last flip them?
:Cueball: Flip them?

:[Zoom out to see the ground. Ponytail walks forward, motioning at the ground. Cueball spreads his arms behind her.]
:Ponytail: Yeah, to use the underside of the continent.
:Cueball: ...Never?
:Ponytail: Wow. Explains the eons of weathering, debris basins, and ... is this isostatic depression?
:Cueball: It's rebounding!

:[Ponytail stops walking and turns to Cueball.]
:Ponytail: You should really flip it. You'll get a whole new landscape!
:Cueball: But I like '''''this''''' landscape!

:[Ponytail spreads her arms slightly.]
:Ponytail: Just think how warm and fresh the other side will feel.
:Cueball: A sea of molten rock?
:Ponytail: Good for the feet. Helps exfoliate.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Home Inspections]]

1193: Externalities

2026-06-24T04:41:49Z

YZ100: /* Fifth Panel */

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from. ''[[:Category:Multiple title texts|Different title text]]:'' This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, editing a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.) ''Different title text:'' Happy April 1st, Everyone! ''Different title text:'' uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv ''Different title text:'' The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 6
| date = April 1, 2013
| days_late =
| day_category = Monday
| prev_title = 1037: Umwelt
| prev_date = April 1, 2012
| next_title = 1350: Lorenz
| next_date = April 1, 2014
| extra_text =
}}
{{TOC}}

==Explanation==
This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. It presented a competition for students to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} but also an aid appeal for the Wikimedia Foundation. The comic references multiple times {{w|Baidu}}, a large Chinese Internet services company. Baidu controls the predominant Internet search provider of China and is sometimes called the "Google of China" for the similar services it provides. Baidu Search results follow the censorship dictates of the Chinese authorities, causing it to return censored responses to searches for politically sensitive terms when executed by web browsers in China. Thus, Megan replies "But nothing about Tiananmen Square." in the first panel is a reference to the {{w|1989 Tiananmen Square protests and massacre}} that killed hundreds of civilians. "It takes great minds to stifle other great minds." and "Let's block Canada" in the second panel are also references to the arbitrary government censorship of Baidu and other Chinese companies.

The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.
*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is randomly selected from a pool of companies. It was formerly the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fifth Panel|changes]], depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same.
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/?utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===Hashing Competition===
For the two days until comic 1194 appeared, a competition was underway to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}}. The first text line of the first panel contains a link to http://almamater.xkcd.com. This page contained the text:

:Currently looking for Skein 1024 1024 input matching
<pre>5b4da95f5fa08280fc9879df44f418c8f9f12ba424b7757de02bbdfbae0d4c4fdf9317c80cc5fe04c6429073466cf29706b8c25999ddd2f6540d4475cc977b87f4757be023f19b8f4035d7722886b78869826de916a79cf9c94cc79cd4347d24b567aa3e2390a573a373a48a5e676640c79cc70197e1c5e7f902fb53ca1858b6</pre>

On this page, users were invited to enter "Your school's domain name" — presumably intended to be their college alma mater. (At least in the beginning, only a few top-level domains were accepted.) If the user entered an acceptable domain (by xkcd's rules, which apparently changed during the 48 hours of the competition), they could then enter data values one at a time. For each data value entered, xkcd returned a hash value and the number of bits by which it differed from the target value. The object was to achieve the lowest possible number of differing bits, ideally zero.

A ranking page showed the lowest value achieved for each domain name entered, but not the data that achieved it. The first name on the list was substituted in various panels, and the third-place school showed in panel five. No data values were reported by xkcd, but various results were posted by users of the xkcd forums and on other websites, leading to copycat submissions, so that occasionally large numbers of institutions would show the same moderately low value.

After the end of the contest, the data submission page vanished, replaced by the final list of rankings, which shows that Carnegie Mellon University achieved the best score with 384 bits incorrect out of 1024. The rankings only show a few hundred out of the several thousand domains submitted—presumably Randall chose to chop the copycat submissions off the end of the list, retaining only honestly obtained results.

===First Panel===
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work for Activision... er... Blizzard... er...
:Megan: Activision Blizzard?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students! <nowiki>|</nowiki> Ahoy. Carnegie Melonites!
:Come find your future at Baidu!
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|-
|
:Whatever. Come create the future of gaming!
:Ponytail: Call of Duty 14.
:Men: That's genius!
|-
|
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Men: Sounds good.
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba)
|-
|
:Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|
:Travel to us by Roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|
:We're so close you can get to us by Roomba.
|-
|
:Free Roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|
:Your Roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|
:Just a short Roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|
:We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|
:We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|
:We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|
:We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Or students from [university], if they're clever with their applications
|-
|
:Possibly [university] grads, if their form-filling startup works out.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, if they manage to fill out the application correctly.
|}

The text in the form varies independently of the text at the top, sometimes related to the organization in 3rd place:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Organization
!Name
!Email
!Education
!(Explanation)
|-
|MIT
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|As an undergrad at MIT in 1948, Smoot was used to measure the Harvard Bridge during a fraternity prank. This led to the introduction of "{{w|smoot}}" as an unusual unit of length.
|-
|
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|CMU
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
| Le(e)roy Jenkins is an internet meme originating from a 2006 'Let's Play' video of World of Warcraft
|-
|CMU
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|Same as above, only with Pittsburgh.
|-
|
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|Cambridge
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|St.Olaf
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Ohio State
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
| A joke on the pronunciation of Ohio.
|-
|
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
| .edu is a website suffix mostly used for (American) university websites.
|-
|
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Michigan
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|University of Michigan is in Ann Arbor; the mascot is the Wolverine. "South Detroit" is referenced in the song {{w|Don't Stop Believin'}}, which is notable because there is actually no such city or neighborhood; rather, Detroit is one of the only places in the contiguous United States where you can drive south and wind up in Canada, namely in the city of {{w|Windsor, Ontario}}. Michiganders therefore often object to the bad geography in the song.
|-
|
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|PO Box 12532 is located at Pyramid Lake in Nevada.
|-
|Oxford
|Bond, James
|Righto
|We're better than Cambridge
|{{w|James Bond}}'s "Tomorrow Never Dies" (1997) was filmed at Oxford, hence the joke. It also refers to the Oxford-Cambridge rivalry.
|-
|
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|Kit
|Kat
|Oh dear
|Something something sleep
|A joke on Kit Kat candy bars.
|-
|Google
|My G+ handle?
|Any
|I'm feeling lucky
|G+ stands for Google+, Google's defunct social network. "I'm feeling lucky" is the second option under the searchbar on Google.
|-
|UIC
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|Presumably University of Illinois at Chicago. "Which one" could be a reference to other institutions with the same initials, or people who confuse "UIC" with "U of C" (University of Chicago, a different institution altogether). The rapid transit system in Chicago is called the 'L'.
|-
|
|MY JOB NOW
|@
|SAVE DOCUMENT AND SEND
| Could be Randall saying most jobs are just sending e-mails (@).
|}

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|
:Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|
:At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|
:At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine
|-
|
:Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|
:At [company], you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|
:At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|
:You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|
:At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|
:Make use of our powerful in-house game creation tools.
|-
|
:We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2A.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|}

===Title Text===
{{incomplete|Need to explain the 5th panel's title text.}}

The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Comic region
!Title text
! Explanation
|-
|Most of the comic, during the competition.||Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.||Different title texts are for different panels, as explained in this one.
|-
|Most of the comic, after the competition ended||This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)||This is one of the comics like [[3227: Creation]], where the title text explains the update instead of containing a joke or two.
|-
|The part of the first panel (text and drawing) which is not a link. There is no title text at all over the part where the link is active||Happy April 1st, Everyone!||The title text celebrates April 1st.
|-
|Fifth panel.||[University] has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv (University = uic after competition)||
|-
|Last three panels (only within a frame that would just fit around all three of them).||The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikimedia foundation via this link. Currently at [amount donated] (Amount = $51135.33 after competition).||A joke where the dog weighs about 5113.533 pounds currently and will gain a pound for every $10 donated to Wikimedia foundation.
|}

==Transcript==
:[This was a dynamic image where the text changed during April 1st. The main title text also changed after the dynamic part was finished, and there are even different title text for different part of the comic. This transcript is of the final version of the comic, (no longer dynamic or changing), as displayed at present on xkcd, there are still four different title texts for specific panels. These four title text are for that reason included here in the transcript.]

:[The basic title text for the entire comic is: "This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)" The other three title text are only active over certain panels.]

:[The first panel with the caption and Megan below has its own title text. A part of that panel is a link, and in the section where this link is active there is no title text at all. The title text for the rest of the first panel is: "Happy April 1st, everyone!"]

:[A panel with only text is above the first drawing. There is a link on the top part of the text to <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/</nowiki> (the link is now broken).]
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:
:Come find your future at Baidu.

:[Below, not in a frame, is Megan.]
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:[Ponytail sits at a desk, hand to her chin, with two Cueball-like guys with their hands on the table.]
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Cueball-like guys: Sounds good.

:[Ponytail crouches on a moving Roomba (labeled) with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Above her is a caption. The Roomba makes a noice]
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba.)
:''Whirrrrrrr''
:Roomba

:[Ponytail and Hairy corners Cueball as he walks out of a door, and a black haired ponytailed girl is moving towards him wielding a giant butterfly net. There is a caption above them:]
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware CMU graduates

:[The fifth panel has its own title text only active within (or very close to) the frame. It is: "uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv</nowiki>" (The link is now broken)]

:[There is a caption above a website application. There is three fields to be filled, with each their caption and text:]
:or uic graduates, provied any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
::Name which one
::Email forget it
::Education Riding the L all night long

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:At Baidu, Inc., you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
:[Cueball sits at a computer.]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-screen voice: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:[The last three panels has their own title text, only active within a frame that could contain all three panel. Outside that "frame" (all the way around) is the other title text. Within the title text is: "The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33."]

:[Small insert panel, going in above the next larger panel: Cueball stares at the screen.]
:''Kzzzt''
:''*bip*''
:Off-screen voice: Uh oh.

:[A giant dog looks down at the desk where the computer once was, now only the wires are left. Cueball, leaning way back in his office chair, holding his hand to his mouth, stares up at it.]

:[Again a smaller insert panel above the large one with the dog. A graphic showing two sliders and a dog (similar to the one in the previous panel). Next to the dog with arrows pointing to it are a thermometer graphic and an equation. Below is an e-mail type text and finally a caption. There are arrows over and under "God" and "dogs" between the g and d's.]
:d(x)=R
:careers@baidu, Inc.
:'''Play God with dogs.'''TM

==Trivia==
*This is the first [[xkcd]] comic with [[:Category:Multiple title texts|multiple title texts]], the others being [[1663: Garden]] and [[3074: Push Notifications]].
*At one point, this comic looked blank entirely. However, in January 2024, the bug was fixed.
*The gap between this [[:Category:Dynamic comics|dynamic comic]] and the previous one was only a week, being the shortest gap between dynamic comics in all of xkcd. However, one of the title texts confirms that this was the April Fools' Day comic and not [[1190: Time]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dogs]]
[[Category:Roomba]]
[[Category:Butterfly net]]
[[Category:Singularity]]
[[Category:Multiple title texts]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

1193: Externalities

2026-06-24T02:38:26Z

YZ100: /* Fifth Panel */

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from. ''[[:Category:Multiple title texts|Different title text]]:'' This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, editing a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.) ''Different title text:'' Happy April 1st, Everyone! ''Different title text:'' uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv ''Different title text:'' The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 6
| date = April 1, 2013
| days_late =
| day_category = Monday
| prev_title = 1037: Umwelt
| prev_date = April 1, 2012
| next_title = 1350: Lorenz
| next_date = April 1, 2014
| extra_text =
}}
{{TOC}}

==Explanation==
This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. It presented a competition for students to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} but also an aid appeal for the Wikimedia Foundation. The comic references multiple times {{w|Baidu}}, a large Chinese Internet services company. Baidu controls the predominant Internet search provider of China and is sometimes called the "Google of China" for the similar services it provides. Baidu Search results follow the censorship dictates of the Chinese authorities, causing it to return censored responses to searches for politically sensitive terms when executed by web browsers in China. Thus, Megan replies "But nothing about Tiananmen Square." in the first panel is a reference to the {{w|1989 Tiananmen Square protests and massacre}} that killed hundreds of civilians. "It takes great minds to stifle other great minds." and "Let's block Canada" in the second panel are also references to the arbitrary government censorship of Baidu and other Chinese companies.

The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.
*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is randomly selected from a pool of companies. It was formerly the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fifth Panel|changes]], depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same.
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/?utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===Hashing Competition===
For the two days until comic 1194 appeared, a competition was underway to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}}. The first text line of the first panel contains a link to http://almamater.xkcd.com. This page contained the text:

:Currently looking for Skein 1024 1024 input matching
<pre>5b4da95f5fa08280fc9879df44f418c8f9f12ba424b7757de02bbdfbae0d4c4fdf9317c80cc5fe04c6429073466cf29706b8c25999ddd2f6540d4475cc977b87f4757be023f19b8f4035d7722886b78869826de916a79cf9c94cc79cd4347d24b567aa3e2390a573a373a48a5e676640c79cc70197e1c5e7f902fb53ca1858b6</pre>

On this page, users were invited to enter "Your school's domain name" — presumably intended to be their college alma mater. (At least in the beginning, only a few top-level domains were accepted.) If the user entered an acceptable domain (by xkcd's rules, which apparently changed during the 48 hours of the competition), they could then enter data values one at a time. For each data value entered, xkcd returned a hash value and the number of bits by which it differed from the target value. The object was to achieve the lowest possible number of differing bits, ideally zero.

A ranking page showed the lowest value achieved for each domain name entered, but not the data that achieved it. The first name on the list was substituted in various panels, and the third-place school showed in panel five. No data values were reported by xkcd, but various results were posted by users of the xkcd forums and on other websites, leading to copycat submissions, so that occasionally large numbers of institutions would show the same moderately low value.

After the end of the contest, the data submission page vanished, replaced by the final list of rankings, which shows that Carnegie Mellon University achieved the best score with 384 bits incorrect out of 1024. The rankings only show a few hundred out of the several thousand domains submitted—presumably Randall chose to chop the copycat submissions off the end of the list, retaining only honestly obtained results.

===First Panel===
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work for Activision... er... Blizzard... er...
:Megan: Activision Blizzard?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students! <nowiki>|</nowiki> Ahoy. Carnegie Melonites!
:Come find your future at Baidu!
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|-
|
:Whatever. Come create the future of gaming!
:Ponytail: Call of Duty 14.
:Men: That's genius!
|-
|
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Men: Sounds good.
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba)
|-
|
:Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|
:Travel to us by Roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|
:We're so close you can get to us by Roomba.
|-
|
:Free Roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|
:Your Roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|
:Just a short Roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|
:We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|
:We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|
:We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|
:We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Or students from [university], if they're clever with their applications
|-
|
:Possibly [university] grads, if their form-filling startup works out.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, if they manage to fill out the application correctly.
|}

The text in the form varies independently of the text at the top, sometimes related to the organization in 3rd place:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Organization
!Name
!Email
!Education
!(Explanation)
|-
|MIT
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|As an undergrad at MIT in 1948, Smoot was used to measure the Harvard Bridge during a fraternity prank. This led to the introduction of "{{w|smoot}}" as an unusual unit of length.
|-
|
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|CMU
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
| Le(e)roy Jenkins is an internet meme originating from a 2006 'Let's Play' video of World of Warcraft
|-
|CMU
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|Cambridge
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|St.Olaf
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Ohio State
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
| A joke on the pronunciation of Ohio.
|-
|
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
| .edu is a website suffix mostly used for (American) university websites.
|-
|
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Michigan
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|University of Michigan is in Ann Arbor; the mascot is the Wolverine. "South Detroit" is referenced in the song {{w|Don't Stop Believin'}}, which is notable because there is actually no such city or neighborhood; rather, Detroit is one of the only places in the contiguous United States where you can drive south and wind up in Canada, namely in the city of {{w|Windsor, Ontario}}. Michiganders therefore often object to the bad geography in the song.
|-
|
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|PO Box 12532 is located at Pyramid Lake in Nevada.
|-
|Oxford
|Bond, James
|Righto
|We're better than Cambridge
|{{w|James Bond}}'s "Tomorrow Never Dies" (1997) was filmed at Oxford, hence the joke. It also refers to the Oxford-Cambridge rivalry.
|-
|
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|Kit
|Kat
|Oh dear
|Something something sleep
|A joke on Kit Kat candy bars.
|-
|Google
|My G+ handle?
|Any
|I'm feeling lucky
|G+ stands for Google+, Google's defunct social network. "I'm feeling lucky" is the second option under the searchbar on Google.
|-
|UIC
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|Presumably University of Illinois at Chicago. "Which one" could be a reference to other institutions with the same initials, or people who confuse "UIC" with "U of C" (University of Chicago, a different institution altogether). The rapid transit system in Chicago is called the 'L'.
|-
|
|MY JOB NOW
|@
|SAVE DOCUMENT AND SEND
| Could be Randall saying most jobs are just sending e-mails (@).
|}

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|
:Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|
:At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|
:At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine
|-
|
:Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|
:At [company], you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|
:At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|
:You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|
:At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|
:Make use of our powerful in-house game creation tools.
|-
|
:We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2A.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|}

===Title Text===
{{incomplete|Need to explain the 5th panel's title text.}}

The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Comic region
!Title text
! Explanation
|-
|Most of the comic, during the competition.||Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.||Different title texts are for different panels, as explained in this one.
|-
|Most of the comic, after the competition ended||This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)||This is one of the comics like [[3227: Creation]], where the title text explains the update instead of containing a joke or two.
|-
|The part of the first panel (text and drawing) which is not a link. There is no title text at all over the part where the link is active||Happy April 1st, Everyone!||The title text celebrates April 1st.
|-
|Fifth panel.||[University] has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv (University = uic after competition)||
|-
|Last three panels (only within a frame that would just fit around all three of them).||The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikimedia foundation via this link. Currently at [amount donated] (Amount = $51135.33 after competition).||A joke where the dog weighs about 5113.533 pounds currently and will gain a pound for every $10 donated to Wikimedia foundation.
|}

==Transcript==
:[This was a dynamic image where the text changed during April 1st. The main title text also changed after the dynamic part was finished, and there are even different title text for different part of the comic. This transcript is of the final version of the comic, (no longer dynamic or changing), as displayed at present on xkcd, there are still four different title texts for specific panels. These four title text are for that reason included here in the transcript.]

:[The basic title text for the entire comic is: "This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)" The other three title text are only active over certain panels.]

:[The first panel with the caption and Megan below has its own title text. A part of that panel is a link, and in the section where this link is active there is no title text at all. The title text for the rest of the first panel is: "Happy April 1st, everyone!"]

:[A panel with only text is above the first drawing. There is a link on the top part of the text to <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/</nowiki> (the link is now broken).]
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:
:Come find your future at Baidu.

:[Below, not in a frame, is Megan.]
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:[Ponytail sits at a desk, hand to her chin, with two Cueball-like guys with their hands on the table.]
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Cueball-like guys: Sounds good.

:[Ponytail crouches on a moving Roomba (labeled) with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Above her is a caption. The Roomba makes a noice]
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba.)
:''Whirrrrrrr''
:Roomba

:[Ponytail and Hairy corners Cueball as he walks out of a door, and a black haired ponytailed girl is moving towards him wielding a giant butterfly net. There is a caption above them:]
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware CMU graduates

:[The fifth panel has its own title text only active within (or very close to) the frame. It is: "uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv</nowiki>" (The link is now broken)]

:[There is a caption above a website application. There is three fields to be filled, with each their caption and text:]
:or uic graduates, provied any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
::Name which one
::Email forget it
::Education Riding the L all night long

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:At Baidu, Inc., you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
:[Cueball sits at a computer.]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-screen voice: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:[The last three panels has their own title text, only active within a frame that could contain all three panel. Outside that "frame" (all the way around) is the other title text. Within the title text is: "The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33."]

:[Small insert panel, going in above the next larger panel: Cueball stares at the screen.]
:''Kzzzt''
:''*bip*''
:Off-screen voice: Uh oh.

:[A giant dog looks down at the desk where the computer once was, now only the wires are left. Cueball, leaning way back in his office chair, holding his hand to his mouth, stares up at it.]

:[Again a smaller insert panel above the large one with the dog. A graphic showing two sliders and a dog (similar to the one in the previous panel). Next to the dog with arrows pointing to it are a thermometer graphic and an equation. Below is an e-mail type text and finally a caption. There are arrows over and under "God" and "dogs" between the g and d's.]
:d(x)=R
:careers@baidu, Inc.
:'''Play God with dogs.'''TM

==Trivia==
*This is the first [[xkcd]] comic with [[:Category:Multiple title texts|multiple title texts]], the others being [[1663: Garden]] and [[3074: Push Notifications]].
*At one point, this comic looked blank entirely. However, in January 2024, the bug was fixed.
*The gap between this [[:Category:Dynamic comics|dynamic comic]] and the previous one was only a week, being the shortest gap between dynamic comics in all of xkcd. However, one of the title texts confirms that this was the April Fools' Day comic and not [[1190: Time]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dogs]]
[[Category:Roomba]]
[[Category:Butterfly net]]
[[Category:Singularity]]
[[Category:Multiple title texts]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

3247: Particle Census

2026-06-23T05:26:50Z

YZ100: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3247
| date = May 18, 2026
| title = Particle Census
| image = particle_census_2x.png
| imagesize = 651x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we will not be issuing Pauli exclusion principle citations.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic references the {{w|Heisenberg uncertainty principle}} of quantum mechanics. Put simply, this states that there's a limit to how precisely we can know both the position and momentum of a particle — the more precisely we know one, the less we know the other. [[Megan]] says that 'physicists' are taking a {{w|census}} of the positions of all particles in the universe, so they'll be known precisely; therefore, all their momenta will be unknowable. By the time we use the census results, we won't know where any of the particles are — we'll just know where they were at the instant their positions were recorded by the census.

In the United States, the constitution mandates that a population census of people living in all the states be taken every ten years. This is primarily for the purpose of apportioning representatives to Congress, but it has come to be used for many other demographic purposes. There's no law (human or physical) requiring a decennial physics census; if physicists want to do this, it's their own decision.

[https://www.quora.com/How-many-particles-are-there-in-the-universe There are estimated] to be approximately 1080 protons, neutrons, neutrinos and electrons in the observable universe, which would make even the task of simply enumerating them difficult. Proton and neutron 'particles' are in turn composed of three quarks (numbers of which which also form other so-called-particles/hadrons), which may easily multiply the number of separately surveyable particles. If photons are to be included in the census, that increases the number of particles to about 1089... with a further problem that detecting them would involve processes that generate more photons than are being surveyed. If dark matter is to be included, we don't even know what it ''is'', let alone have a method of detecting and recording its particles (if any). We don't know the size of the universe as a whole, and many physicists theorise it is infinite, in which case, covering all the particles in that would be an infinite task. If any meaningful and usable information about each particle is to be recorded, storing that information would require many particles for each particle in the universe, which would be a logical contradiction unless all of the extra particles were coming from some other space (such as an alternate universe).

Many particles, even within the observable universe, are at vast distances from Earth, where they will be difficult to detect. Some particles, particularly neutrinos, are extremely difficult to detect at all, because of their limited interaction with other forms of matter. Simultaneity is impossible, because of relativity, so it would be meaningless to try to catalog them at a specific time. Furthermore, some of those particles will be in the equipment used to measure, and the people doing the measuring, which will further complicate matters.

In the third panel, someone speaks up and is worried about what will happen to particles during the potential “disruption”. Randomly taking someone’s particles and relocating them would be considered unpleasant,{{Citation needed}} even if you ''could'' tell them where the particles are going, which you can't in this instance.

If all particles' locations were determined (as exactly as possible) it would have to be done using very high energy particles (which would, themselves, have to have their locations determined), leaving all the measured particles moving very fast (less than the speed of light, of course, but close to it), destroying everything and everyone. Given that, the concern voiced is very fair, but unnecessary, as it would not be possible to perform the task that Megan claims will happen.

The apparent need to conduct a thorough particle census, and the (perhaps legitimate) worry about the disruption that is caused bears some resemblence to the impact of an audit (either regularly scheduled or possibly imposed to answer some questions about the target of the audit). While there may be legitimate business/regulatory need to uncover the exact nature of the audit's focus, those people who are still trying to work within the auditable environment may (even if they have nothing personal to hide from it) find the involvement of the auditing team to be disruptive and interfering with their expected workflow (such as key documents being unavailable, as they are being scrutinised by the auditors and unavailable to be suitably updated with work currently in progress, without sparking off further auditing actions in response). In some cases, an 'audit' can even be threatened as a response to some nominal non-compliance with (perhaps unreasonable) demands, the implication being that all normally filed documents are heavy-handedly gone through leaving the target of the audit with an actual mess, the object not necessarily to discover desired information but to cause trouble and inconvenience to those that don't provide satisfactory complience to prior 'requests'. In the comic's instance, it is seemingly more a regular chore than an ''ad hoc'' pressure technique, but at least some of those who are more subject to the audit than they are net beneficiaries of its outcome seem to know that they will be significantly inconvenienced by it.

The title text refers to the {{w|Pauli exclusion principle}}, which states that no two {{w|fermions}} — types of particles that include all ordinary matter — can occupy the same quantum state. As the data recorded by the census is confidential, physics officials will not use it to determine whether to issue citations for particles that violate the exclusion principle. This confuses physical laws, which describe how the universe works and by their nature cannot be violated, with societal laws, which declare what is allowed or required by the government.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is standing behind a lectern, addressing an unseen audience.]
:Megan: Remember, Tuesday is the decennial particle census.
:Megan: Physicists will be recording the location of all particles in the universe.

:[Zoom out to show Megan is on a podium behind the lectern. She holds one hand, palm up, out towards the still unseen audience]
:Megan: Of course, this will cause their momenta to become indeterminite, so please plan for some disruption.

:[The same scene with Megan's hands held down. A voice comes from off-panel at the left through a star burst at the edge of the panel.]
:Audience member [off-panel]: Wait, disruption? Where will my particles go?
:Megan: No one can say, but you'll know ''exactly'' where they were.

==Trivia==
*When this comic was uploaded the normal sized image [https://web.archive.org/web/20260518185623/https://xkcd.com/3247/ was incorrectly 2x size]. It kept showing up at 2x size on [[unixkcd]] for awhile.
*"Indeterminate" is spelled "indeterminite" in the second panel text.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Public speaking]]

1452: Jurassic World

2026-06-23T05:21:32Z

YZ100: This isn't Cueball, that's White Hat

{{comic
| number = 1452
| date = November 26, 2014
| title = Jurassic World
| image = jurassic_world.png
| titletext = Hey guys! What's eating you? Ha ha ha it's me! Oh, what fun we have.
}}

==Explanation==
This strip refers to ''{{w|Jurassic World}}'', the then new ''{{w|Jurassic Park}}'' movie, and the titular theme park. [[White Hat]] explains to [[Megan]] that, in their park, they have genetically engineered a better {{w|Tyrannosaurus}}. Megan doesn't feel that the historic Tyrannosaurus can be improved upon, but White Hat insists they've created an even more terrifying, smarter ''Tyrannosaurus'' for this new park.

White Hat refers to ''Tyrannosaurus'' as "two decades old", referring to the T-Rex in the original Jurassic Park, and that they improved it by further genetic engineering. Megan comments that she is fairly certain it is older than two decades, suggesting that she is referring to the actual Tyrannosaurus that lived millions of years ago.

In the final panel, White Hat introduces the "new" ''Tyrannosaurus'', who is immediately recognizable as the green ''Tyrannosaurus'' from {{w|Ryan North|Ryan North's}} ''{{w|Dinosaur Comics|Dinosaur}} [http://www.qwantz.com/ Comics]''; specifically, from the last panel of said webcomic - which in turn is from [http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/interview-with-ryan-north-creator-of-dinosaur-comics-15523444/ clip art]. Anyone who has read so much as a handful of ''Dinosaur Comics'' will know that its ''Tyrannosaurus'' character "T-Rex" is about as far from smart and scary as it is possible for a ''Tyrannosaurus'' to be (see [http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2739 this example] from the day this comic was released).

The title text is an example of what T-Rex (the character) would say to a couple of humans, and it's a poor joke which would only be funny when it's a talking T-Rex saying it. Despite his goofy mannerisms, he is still a carnivore who attacks (or at least accidentally steps on) humans, as can be seen in panel 3 and 4 of the webcomic.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat holding one hand up in front om him and Megan are walking together.]
:White Hat: In ''Jurassic World'', we've used genetic engineering to create a ''better'' dinosaur.
:Megan: Tyrannosaurus is the most charismatic animal that ever lived, and you think you'll ''upstage'' it?

:[White Hat now holds both his hands up in front of him as he and Megan walk on.]
:White Hat: ''Tyrannosaurus'' was cool, but it's two decades old!
:Megan: I think it's a ''little'' older than that.

:[In this frame-less panel White Hat points up as they continue to walk.]
:White Hat: We took ''Tyrannosaurus'' and we ''improved'' it. Made it scarier, deadlier, smarter.
:White Hat: Look–there it is!

:[Cueball and Megan are dwarfed in the bottom left corner as they stare up at a facsimile of the green T-Rex from ''Dinosaur Comics''. They only reach T-Rex to it's knees.]

==Trivia==
*In the last panel [[Randall]] forgot to draw White Hat's hat so he looks like [[Cueball]], but from the first panel where White Hat walks with Megan and points up at the Dinosaur, it is clear that it is those two characters that are standing beneath it in this last panel.
**Note that in the two other comics with T-Rex, Randall put in a small Cueball under the foot of T-Rex in the fourth panel of [[145: Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics]], and in the T-Rex [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:f2b12f1e-bbae-11e3-801c-002590d77bdd story line] from [[1350: Lorenz]], he also forgot to drawn [[Hairy|Hairy's]] hair, thus also there including Cueball though like here by mistake...
** The mistake can be explained that [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFinNxS5KN4 the trailer] for the Jurassic World movie was released a day before this comic so Randall most likely created this comic on a very short notice.

*The entire ''Dinosaur Comics'' was parodied in [[145: Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics]], where Randall copied the drawings himself, and T-Rex has appeared in one of the story lines in [[1350: Lorenz]] (see this [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:f2b12f1e-bbae-11e3-801c-002590d77bdd example story line] and the Dinosaur section under [[1350:_Lorenz#Themes|Lorenz themes]]), where the actual images from the first three panels of Ryan's comic are used, just like here where it is the last panel which is used. Later, T-Rex appeared in [[3012: The Future of Orion]].

*Unlike the surrounding comics, this comic does not have a 2x scale version. This is likely because T-Rex already appears at the highest resolution here, though [https://qwantz.com/index.php?comic=4005 a higher-resolution render may exist].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Jurassic Park]]

3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-22T22:03:50Z

YZ100: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3257
| date = June 10, 2026
| title = Beam Pipe
| image = beam_pipe_2x.png
| imagesize = 309x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
}}

==Explanation==
When a liquid is flowing within a tube, the pressure at any point is determined by an equilibrium between the supply pressure and the forces that restrict flow, such as friction with the walls and hydrodynamic effects in the liquid. If the tube is short and the outflow opening is large, the pressure within the tube is close to the exterior pressure (air pressure, in the case of a liquid flowing into air). If the outflow opening is negligible, the pressure within the tube is essentially equal to the pressure of the liquid's supply. If the tube is constructed of an elastic material, it will expand until an equilibrium is reached between the internal pressure and the elastic stretch of the tube... unless the pressure is enough to rupture the tube.

In the case of a hose carrying water, if the exit is fully open, the water pressure near the exit will be moderate: greater than atmospheric pressure, but less than the full pressure of the water supply. The more the exit is restricted, such as by part covering it with a thumb, decreasing the water flow, the closer the pressure near the exit will come to the full pressure of the water supply. (In the limiting case where the exit is fully blocked, the hose will essentially be an extension of the plumbing, and its internal pressure will be that of the water supply, as modified by the gravitational effects of raising or lowering the hose, and the weight of the water). If the hose is elastic (e.g. the usual garden-hose reinforced rubber), it's possible to see it stretch as the nozzle is restricted. Covering it with a thumb, while reducing the water flow, allows the water that does come out to do so at relatively high pressure.

As the {{w|Large Hadron Collider}} ("LHC") can be considered a sort of "pipe" (a beam pipe, as pointed out in the comic title), this comic makes the ridiculous assumption that the same logic applies there — that its beam can be concentrated and redirected by partially covering the end of the beam with a thumb. This wouldn't work in real life: water molecules are moving at low speed and thus do not have sufficient energy to overcome the electrostatic repulsion between their electrons and those of the thumb, forcing them to change path. In contrast the kinetic energy of the particles in the LHC (7 TeV, in the case of protons destined for 14-TeV proton-proton collisions) is far far larger than the repulsion of the thumb. Most particles will pass through unaffected, while those hitting thumb nuclei directly will produce a cascade of new particles similar to those the LHC is intended to produce. This procedure would have to be done at one of the LHC's two [https://home.cern/autopsy-lhc-beam-dump/ beam dump sections], where the contents of the beam are allowed to exit into long steel-encased graphite blocks. Over time, those blocks become dangerously radioactive from the impact of the beam particles. There isn't currently any means to bypass these blocks and allow a person to interact with the beam while the LHC is in operation. Although the section of the 'pipe' shown seems to indicate that it is in a section where one or other of the {{w|Compact Muon Solenoid|main detectors}} surrounds the pipe (which, during inoperable periods of construction, modification or other extensive maintenance, might have a part of the adjacent length of pipe withdrawn), this couldn't be done while the system was running. Apart from the basic problem that the system can't work while part of it has been removed, the interior of the LHC must be maintained at an extremely high vacuum while it's running.

While there is no recorded case of a human getting struck by the particle beam at LHC, {{w|Anatoli Bugorski|Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski}} did accidentally hold his head into the proton beam of a 76 GeV (about 180 times less than the energies at the LHC) particle accelerator while trying to repair a faulty part. This had severe but not lethal consequences: the resulting acute radiation sickness caused the affected parts of his face to swell and the skin to flake off, The affected nerves never recovered, leaving the left side of his face paralysed and his left ear deaf. The damage to his brain resulted in several epileptic seizures, but did not affect him otherwise, allowing him to continue his work as a physicist, and at time of publication he was still alive at the age of 82.

Thus, while pointless, holding the thumb into the LHC beam for a short time is unlikely to significantly harm anyone trying it... apart from possibly requiring amputation of the thumb, if there was enough tissue damage or induced radioactivity. At any rate, this wouldn't work in real life: the relativistic particles would not behave as a liquid.

The title text expands the joke, once more treating the LHC as if it were a hosepipe. Applying the effect above to a hosepipe is a common thing for children to do — often to spray family and friends with the pressurized water. This applies the same logic to the LHC, imagining the mother of "physics" (the science, as opposed to a person) telling off their presumably adult child for "spraying their colleagues with the beam" — something very incomprehensible in real life.

A variety of devices are marketed to increase the pressure of water supplied to them. The {{w|pressure washing|pressure washer}} is a common example; it uses electrical power to add force to the output water. It's possible to use force created by flow of part of a fluid stream, which exits the system with low pressure, to increase the pressure in the remainder, in devices such as a {{w|hydraulic ram}}. There are also scams based on devices that supposedly increase the pressure from a water source ''without'' using any externally-provided power and without wasting water, but this is a physical impossibility. The force of the water coming out can't be greater than the force of the water coming in, or a perpetual-motion device could be constructed with the water running in a loop and the added force being tapped to power a generator. At most, the output force will be the same as that of the water supply, in the limiting case of zero flow, less any frictional losses within the device.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A picture shows a (partly obscured by the panel) particle accelerator (namely this one being the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Megan is shown on a stepladder, covering the beam pipe with her thumb. Cueball is shown standing behind the ladder, watching.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:This year's physics Nobel will go to the scientists who figured out that you could make the Large Hadron Collider more powerful by covering part of the beam pipe with your thumb.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]

925: Cell Phones

2026-06-20T23:30:47Z

YZ100: Take it out if I'm wrong, but...

{{comic
| number = 925
| date = July 15, 2011
| title = Cell Phones
| image = cell_phones.png
| titletext = He holds the laptop like that on purpose, to make you cringe.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a good explanation of the correlation/causation fallacy, where one party states two unrelated events and posits that they must have influenced each other.

After hearing about the "Cell Phones Don't Cause Cancer" study, which refutes a claim made by the ''{{w|World Health Organization}}'' (just Google the debate or {{w|Mobile phone radiation and health|check out Wikipedia's article on it}}, the comic doesn't focus much on it), [[Black Hat]] plots "Total Cancer Incidence" per 100,000 and "Cell Phone Users" per 100 on the same graph. The graph in frame 3 shows an exponential rise in cancer in the 70's and 80's, followed by an exponential rise in cell phone usage in the 2000's. Black Hat reverses the correlation/causation fallacy, and comically comes to the conclusion that ''cancer'' causes ''cell phones''.

The comic highlights a well-known fallacy known as ''{{w|post hoc ergo propter hoc}}'', often shortened to simply ''post hoc.'' The Latin translates to "after this, therefore because of this,” (the simpler "after this" therefore implies “because of this”; ''post hoc'', as it were!) referring to the common mistake that because two events happen in chronological order, the former event must have caused the latter event. The fallacy is often the root cause of many superstitions (e.g., a person noticing they wore a special bracelet before getting a good test score thinking the bracelet was the source of their good fortune), but it often crosses into more serious areas of thinking. In this case, the scientific research community, which often prides itself on its intellectual aptitude, is gently mocked for being nonetheless prone to such poor reasoning all too often. The different possibilities are generally known as causation, when one thing is proven to cause another, or correlation, when changes in one thing are aligned with changes in another, but there is no proof that they are directly related.

The title text refers to the way Black Hat holds the laptop in panel 2. Being that Cueball (and Randall, for that matter) are quite into computers, the potential damage to a laptop screen either from the weight of its lower body or the pressure of the user's fingers on the LCD screen is enough to make him squirm in discomfort. The risk of dropping the computer is also present. Both the fallacy and the way Black Hat is holding his laptop contribute to the "problems" that Cueball mentions.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball holds a cellphone. Black Hat is sitting at a desk with a laptop.]
:Cueball: Another huge study found no evidence that cell phones cause cancer. What was the W.H.O. thinking?
:Black Hat: I think they just got it backward.

:[Black Hat turns towards Cueball in an unframed panel, holding the laptop with one hand by the upper edge of the screen. Cueball is not visible.]
:Cueball: Huh?
:Black Hat: Well, take a look.

:[There is a plot of total cancer incidence and cell phone users. Cancer rises from 1970 to 1990, then stays relatively steady. Cell phone use rises from roughly 1984, and steeply after 1990, to the present.]

:Cueball: You're not... There are ''so'' many problems with that.
:Black Hat: Just to be safe, until I see more data I'm going to assume cancer causes cell phones.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Scientific research]]
[[Category:Phones]]
[[Category:Extrapolation]]

1812: Onboarding

2026-06-20T16:22:25Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 1812
| date = March 17, 2017
| title = Onboarding
| image = onboarding.png
| titletext = 'So we just have a steady flow of metal piling up in our server room? Isn't that a problem?' 'Yeah, you should bring that up at our next bismuth meeting.'
}}

==Explanation==
This is another one of [[Beret Guy|Beret Guy's]] mysterious [[:Category:Beret Guy's Business|businesses]], in which he shows new employee [[Ponytail]] around the building in which the company resides. The process of showing a new employee around the business and starting to get them introduced to people and systems and procedures is often referred to as "{{w|onboarding}}" - hence the title of the comic.

=== Existential Welcome ===

The first panel starts out as a typical welcoming of the new employee to a small indie business. Very quickly, however, Beret Guy's explanation jumps to an existential viewpoint. Very rarely do conversations or introductions involve discussing the eventual fate of our bodies, and certainly not in a professional light as in this comic. Beret Guy, however, has no problem with discussing death and decay as just part of his business. This seemingly contradicts the title text in [[1493: Meeting]], where it is claimed that employees of the company can not physically die. However, this could be a new company he has started since then. Alternatively, this is a literal statement, perhaps related to the cursed Wi-Fi mentioned later in the comic.

=== Bikeshare ===

In the second panel, Beret Guy shows Ponytail the free bikeshare system this business apparently has in place. {{w|Bicycle-sharing system|Bikesharing}} is a system in which many users share one or more bikes among themselves. Typically the bikes belong to some of the members of the group who are allowing them to be used by other members who may not have one, but Beret Guy calmly remarks that this system will only exist "until whoever owns those bikes finds out", implying that they were not donated or shared by any member of the group, but are being used without permission or the knowledge of the true owner of the bikes. This is, thus, not actually a bikeshare, and would be more properly described as theft.

=== Printer ===

In the third panel, Beret Guy shows Ponytail that the laserjet is over there '''and''' the printer is over there, thus indicating that the ''laserjet'' is not a printer. This is a bit disconcerting, since the {{w|HP LaserJet}} is in fact a common brand of {{w|laser printer}}, suggesting that his laserjet may be some rather more exotic device, such as a {{w|Laser propulsion|laser-propelled}} {{w|jet aircraft}}. In any case, however, the printer is not available, as it's been printing an infinite-scroll web page since 2013.

An [[wikt:infinite scroll|infinite-scrolling web page]] is a web page that, as the name implies, seems to have no end. This style of webpage typically has no definite pages or sections, but instead continues to feed data to the screen as the user scrolls. One such example is [http://endless.horse endless.horse], a webpage that features an infinitely tall horse. In reality, trying to print one of these would only print the current section the user was viewing, and even if it was somehow able to infinitely print, the operator could theoretically cancel the operation at any time. Presumably, this continuous printing serves some useful purpose, e.g. prints latest news, because someone would have to be refilling the paper for the printer to have kept running this long; it would have run out of paper long ago otherwise. Mistaken print jobs are sometimes notoriously difficult to stop due to many levels of buffering (application, printer driver, OS spooler, print server, printer device) and lapses in job control software.

Infinite scrolling (in the sense of an annoying UI design style for browsing large but finite documents) was previously covered in [[1309: Infinite Scrolling]]. A similar separation of the phrase "laserjet printer" has been explored in [[1681: Laser Products]].

=== Infrastructure Buzzwords ===

In the fourth panel, Beret Guy makes three more remarks.

'''Restrooms are all-digital—no pipes.''' While many technology standards nowadays are entirely digital, one's restroom is one of the things that most definitely should not be.{{Citation needed}} A restroom without pipes would have no way to bring water in and transfer wastes away, and would most certainly be at the very least an unpleasant encounter. (It's implied that the waste is being transferred digitally, although this is [[1293: Job Interview|obviously impossible]].) This could also be a pun joking with the fact that a common (in the past and reappearing recently) technology in sound amplifiers is the use of tubes, but nowadays most sound amplifiers are all-digital. So a "latest technology" restroom cannot have pipes (synonym of tubes) and has to be all-digital.

'''The Wi-Fi is very fast, but cursed.''' Fast Wi-Fi is certainly desirable, but in this case, he claims it is also cursed. Whether the curse is a side-effect of the fast Wi-Fi or totally unrelated is left unsaid, as well as what the curse is. This could possibly be a joke relating to American slang: all technology can behave inexplicably from time to time, and Wi-Fi is notorious for randomly losing connection -- this is often exaggerated and called "cursed". Knowing Beret Guy, though, [[2376: Curbside|it's probably literal]], perhaps purchased from one of the "[[1772: Startup Opportunity|mysterious shops that sell you magical items, and then it turns out they're cursed"]].

'''Our server room is carbon-neutral but produces bismuth constantly.''' Normally, {{w|carbon neutrality|carbon-neutral}} would mean that it is designed to be environmentally friendly by reducing and offsetting its carbon emissions enough that it has no net effect on the environment. The term is a little bit confusing because the meaning is of course carbon-dioxide-neutral. Instead of producing carbon-dioxide as a side-effect of its power usage, Beret Guy's server room produces the element {{w|Bismuth|bismuth}}, which is absurd. Bismuth is used as lead replacement in some {{w|solder}}s. While this replacement is often used because of the toxicity of {{w|lead}}, in this case it refers to an IBM mainframe computer where the Bi58Sn42 alloy is used because of its low temperature soldering characteristics. Therefore, producing excess bismuth in the server room would destroy all the electric connections.

One way the server room might produce bismuth is a {{w|Lead-cooled fast reactor|compact nuclear reactor}} which can both make the server room carbon-neutral ''and'' leak bismuth (by creating it in the reactor). This being Beret Guy, another possibility is that bismuth simply appears in that room as the server operates, because he didn't want it to create carbon emissions and so it had to emit something else.

=== Lin-Manuel Miranda ===

In the last two panels, Beret Guy explains that Ponytail will be working on the infrastructure, which is apparently maintained by {{w|Lin-Manuel Miranda}}. He is among other things a songwriter but certainly not an engineer or anyone qualified to be responsible for an entire infrastructure.{{citation needed}} Ponytail knows about his songs and thus surprised asks if he is also an engineer. (This echoes [[1665: City Talk Pages]], which includes a train station designed by {{w|Andrew Lloyd Webber}}, a composer best known for writing ''{{w|The Phantom of the Opera}}'').

It is worth noting that Beret Guy actually acknowledges the mistake here, claiming the mistake "cost a fortune." This is unusual for Beret Guy, as he has of yet failed to acknowledge or recognize the oddity of every other aspect of his mysterious business, many of which are certainly stranger than this. However, he doesn't seem to mind this at all and does not wish to fire him. Instead he plans on fixing the mistake by hiring a real network engineer, Ponytail, to do the work alongside Miranda. Because, as Beret Guy continues to explain, the bright side of having Lin-Manuel Miranda in his business overshadows the lost fortune. Apparently Lin-Manuel Miranda is really nice and he makes {{w|karaoke}} nights fun, a clear reference to his engaging stage presence and vocal skills.

Off screen, Lin-Manuel Miranda is heard singing "{{w|How Far I'll Go}}", which is a song that he composed for the Disney movie ''{{w|Moana (2016 film)|Moana}}''. It was nominated for an {{w|Academy Awards|Oscar}} for {{w|Academy Award for Best Original Song|Best Original Song}} in the {{w|89th Academy Awards|2017 show}} just a few weeks prior to this comic.

=== Title Text ===

The title text mentions the potential dangers of having your server room constantly produce bismuth, but only as a prelude to a bismuth/business pun. Because of the earlier carbon reference, it could also be a parallel to the difficulty in convincing businesses to become more energy efficient and reduce greenhouse gas emissions despite the urgency, as [[Randall]] has [[:Category:Climate change|often referred]] to in xkcd with [[1732: Earth Temperature Timeline]].

The fact that the business has meetings to discuss the bismuth, but apparently no one has ever mentioned at one of these meetings that the bismuth may be a problem, is strange. It is unclear what participants in these meetings ordinarily say about the bismuth.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy shakes hands with Ponytail in front of a building while he points at the two large double doors under an unreadable sign.]
:Beret Guy: Hi! Welcome to the team!
:Beret Guy: We do business here and we'll turn into dirt later.

:[Beret Guy and Ponytail walk by three bikes.]
:Beret Guy: This is our main campus.
:Beret Guy: We have a free bikeshare system, at least until whoever owns those bikes finds out.

:[Beret Guy points forward as they walk on.]
:Beret Guy: The LaserJet is over there, and the printer is over there.
:Beret Guy: You can't use it right now; it's been printing an infinite-scroll webpage since 2013.

:[Zoom in on their heads.]
:Beret Guy: Restrooms are all-digital - no pipes.
:Beret Guy: The WiFi is very fast, but cursed.
:Beret Guy: Our server room is carbon-neutral but produces bismuth constantly.

:[Beret Guy has turned towards an off-panel Ponytail holding a hand out towards her.]
:Beret Guy: You'll be working on our infrastructure, which is currently maintained by Lin-Manuel Miranda.

:[Zoom out to both facing each other. From the right singing is heard from off-panel, as indicated with two musical notes.]
:Ponytail: ...The songwriter? Is he also an engineer?
:Beret Guy: Nope, huge misunderstanding on our part. Cost a fortune. But he's really nice and it makes karaoke nights fun.
:Lin-Manuel Miranda (off-panel): ''How far I'll gooo''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Beret Guy's Business]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Climate change]]
[[Category:Comics with cursed items]]
[[Category:Disney]]
[[Category:Movies]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T16:13:48Z

YZ100: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by sensitive medication and HAS SIDE EFFECTS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

[[Beret Guy]] tells [[Ponytail]] about the new medication he’s using, with the normal side effect of sensitivity to sun exposure and the far less normal sensitivity to {{w|gravitational waves}}. At first she replies that those side effects are normal, then does a double take and is confused about the second effect. Then, when she realizes, Beret Guy starts to exhibit the stretching and squishing of a gravitational wave, but by obviously visible amounts. Beret Guy's hat also stretches and shrinks, indicating it could be a part of his body, which contradicts the idea from [[291: Dignified|an earlier comic]] that it is stapled to his head. (Or perhaps it's part of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange power]] the medicine makes him exhibit.)

This is probably the most extreme example to date of Beret Guy being peculiarly sensitive to minuscule external forces. However, rather than showing concern for his body rapidly changing shape, he instead enjoys the feeling, saying 'Whee' in the last panel.

"{{w|chirp mass|The chirp}}" refers to gravitational waves during the end-stages of black hole collision, during which expansion and contraction of the waves increase in frequency to the point where they alternate extremely rapidly (the term comes from how it sounds when the gravitational wave is converted to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWqhUANNFXw sound]). This would cause Beret Guy's body to also change form repeatedly and rapidly.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is standing to the right of Ponytail.]
:Beret Guy: This new topical medication makes me extra sensitive to sun exposure and gravitational waves.
:[Beret Guy's arms are out.]
:Ponytail: Oh yeah, that's a common ...wait, what was that last part?
:Beret Guy: Here comes one now!
:[Over three panels, Beret Guy is stretched out in height, then he gets shorter and wider, then stretched out again.]
:[Last panel:]
:Beret Guy: ''WHEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]

1555: Exoplanet Names 2

2026-06-20T05:37:46Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 1555
| date = July 24, 2015
| title = Exoplanet Names 2
| image = exoplanet_names_2.png
| titletext = I'm going to drive this Netherlands joke so far into the ground they'll have to build levees around it to keep the sea out.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a continuation of [[1253: Exoplanet Names]], and was published the day after NASA announced the discovery of a number of planets, including a planet called a cousin to Earth, {{w|Kepler-452b}}. [[Black Hat]] proposes naming it {{w|Pluto}}, both to commemorate the flyby of the {{w|dwarf planet}} of that name by NASA's {{w|New Horizons}} earlier the same month, but also to end the discussion about the status of Pluto, which is subject to debate among both scientists and laypeople over whether-or-not it should be considered a planet. Pluto was considered a planet for a long period of time until, in 2006, the {{w|International Astronomical Union}} (IAU) created a new definition for the word 'planet' designed to exclude Pluto and similar objects, resulting in much debate (The IAU is the organization that takes responsibility for naming celestial bodies like planets, stars, and much more).

It may appear that, with Black Hat's suggestion, the answer to the question "is Pluto a planet?" will therefore always be "yes", regardless of the status of the Pluto in our Solar System according to the IAU. However the same [https://www.iau.org/news/pressreleases/detail/iau0603/ IAU official definition] that excludes Pluto also states that a 'planet' has to orbit our sun, so according to the IAU, nothing in this comic is a planet (the IAU definition only allows them to be {{w|exoplanets}}, which, like dwarf planets, are not planets). Hence, the debate indeed becomes 'a little more confusing'. This is in line with Black Hat's characterization as a mischief-maker.

The title text is referring to the planet name entry ''Netherlands VI'' for the star ''EPIC 201912552''. Randall continues his references to the Netherlands taking over the Earth, Mars, and Pluto after Earth's oceans have been transferred to Mars. The joke started in two consecutive ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' articles, {{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}} and {{what if|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}, and it was referenced again in {{what if|57|Dropping a Mountain}} and in [[1551: Pluto]] a week before this comic came out. {{w|New Netherland}} was actually a Dutch colony with {{w|New York City}}, formerly known as {{w|New Amsterdam}}, as its capital. In the title text Randall mentions he will continue with this joke driving it so far into the ground (meaning way beyond the point where it stops being funny) that the Dutch will have to build {{w|levee}}s around it to keep the sea out.

===Table===
This table explains each entry in the comic table. The "Status" column refers to the comic [[1253: Exoplanet Names]] and indicates if the entry was already in the older comic (Old), if it has been updated (Update), or if it's a new addition (New).

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col" | Star
! scope="col" | Planet
! scope="col" | Status
! scope="col" | Suggested Name
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
| rowspan=7 | {{w|Gliese 667}} C
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cb|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Space Planet}}
| A very unimaginative name, since every planet is in space.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cc|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| PILF
| Pun of {{w|MILF pornography|MILF}}, i.e. ''Planet I'd Like to Fuck''. Planet c is a relatively hot planet, within the habitable zone.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cd|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| A Star
| "A {{w|Star}}" is obviously a bad name for a planet. A* (pronounced "A star") is already used in astronomy, for example the Milky Way's black hole core is {{w|Sagittarius A*}}. "A star" is also the name for the character {{w|asterisk}} and the name of the popular {{w|A* search algorithm}} in computer science.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Ce|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
| [[Mrs. Roberts]] is probably trying to use {{w|SQL injection}} like in [[327: Exploits of a Mom]], in which her son [[Little Bobby Tables|Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--]] caused the school a lot of trouble when his name was put in. The idea here is that the {{w|IAU}} would enter the name into their system and promptly lose all of their data pertaining to planets. Note that Planet e is located in the habitable zone of the star system.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cf|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Blogosphere
| rowspan = 2 | Weird ''{{w|blog}}''-related terms are a recurring theme in xkcd. See, for instance, [[181|comic 181]].
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cg|g}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Blogodrome
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_667c_h/ h]
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Earth}}
| Planet candidate h is about the mass of the Earth, and described as "tantalizing": [https://www.aanda.org/articles/aa/abs/2013/08/aa21331-13/aa21331-13.html A dynamically-packed planetary system around GJ with three super-Earths in its habitable zone]. See also ([[1231: Habitable Zone]]). Like several other names below, naming a second planet Earth would be highly confusing.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Tau Ceti}}
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_b/ b]
| {{No|Old}}
| Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
| This refers to the game {{w|Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri}}.
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_c/ c]
| {{No|Old}}
| Giant Dog Planet
| {{w|VY Canis Majoris}} is one of the largest known stars at our galaxy and belongs to the constellation {{w|Canis Major}}, Latin for "greater dog". The constellation further contains {{w|Sirius}}, the brightest star in the night sky, also called "Dog Star".
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_d/ d]
| {{No|Old}}
| Tiny Dog Planet
| cf. {{w|Canis Minor}}, Latin for "lesser dog", another constellation.
|-
|{{w|Tau Ceti e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Phil Plainet
| A reference to {{w|Phil Plait}}, a.k.a. The Bad Astronomer.
|-
|{{w|Tau Ceti f|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Unicode Snowman
| The Unicode character ☃ may be a reference to the planet's estimated surface temperature of -40 °C (-40 °F). However, this name would be pronounced differently (being a symbol, not a word or name) in different languages. Planets in our solar system are assigned to {{w|Astronomical symbols|astronomical symbols}} like ♁ for Venus or ♂ for Mars.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 832}}
| {{w|Gliese 832 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Asshole Jupiter
| This massive planet orbits a {{w|red dwarf}} star at the longest known period of 3416 days at this category. Many exoplanets are described as "Hot Jupiters" because they are high-temperature gas giants; if one were to read "hot" as a description of attractiveness rather than temperature, one might generate names like this one.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 832 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Waterworld}} starring Kevin Costner
| [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114898/ Waterworld] is a 1995 film starring Kevin Costner about Earth almost completely covered in water. The surname was previously spelled incorrectly with a 'K'.
|-
| rowspan=6 | {{w|Gliese 581}}
| {{w|Gliese 581 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Waist-deep {{w|Cats}}
| {{w|Waist Deep}} is an action film from 2006, and the {{w|Lolcat}} meme does not need explaining. The name may also simply be a reference to being "waist-deep" in (i.e. surrounded by many) cats.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Planet #14
| About 200th discovered exoplanet (in 2007); reported to be the first potentially Earth-like planet in the habitable zone of its star, though that is in doubt now. The joke might be that like "Space Planet", "Planet #14" is a generic and unoriginal name, although it could plausibly be a reference to [https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Planet_14 Planet 14], a potential homeworld of the Cybermen in the long-running science-fiction series ''Doctor Who''. Also of note is that this is the 15th entry in the original table so the numbering is {{w|Zero-based numbering|zero-based}}.
An interesting (?) coincidence is that the 14th and 15th {{w|Definition of planet#Minor planets|Minor planets}} (then called asteroids) were discovered in 1851; see see {{w|List of minor planets: 1–1000}}. If they were to be counted among the planets of the {{w|Solar System}}, as was sometimes done then, the 14th known planetary body would be {{w| 7 Iris|Iris}} (discovered in 1847, a year before {{w|Neptune}}).
|-
|{{w|Gliese 581 d|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Ballderaan
| A {{w|wikt:balls|crude pun}} on the planet {{w|Alderaan}} from the ''{{w|Star Wars}}'' universe.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 581 e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Eternia Prime
| {{w|Eternia}} is a fictional planet, venue of the ''{{w|Masters of the Universe}}'' animated series and toy collection.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 f|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Taupe Mars
| {{w|Kim Stanley Robinson}}'s award-winning {{w|Mars trilogy}} (''Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars'' after various stages of {{w|terraformation}}). {{w|Taupe}} is a brownish-grey color.
|-
|{{w|Gliese|g}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Jelly-Filled Planet
| Possibly a reference to the conjecture that this tidally locked planet has an isolated habitable zone under the substellar point, akin to the pocket of jelly in a jelly doughnut.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Epsilon Eridani}}
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Skydot
| [https://skydot.lanl.gov SkyDOT] is the Sky Database for Objects in Time-Domain run by {{w|LANL}} for the {{w|U.S. Dept. of Energy}} and includes data for [https://skydot.lanl.gov/nsvs/star.php?num=14831575&mask=32004 Epsilon Eridani] that can be used to constrain the orbital parameters of ε Eri b. It may also refer to how objects in space may appear as bland, bright dots in the night sky.
|-
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani c#Planet c|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Laser Noises
| A {{w|Laser}} does not produce {{w|Noise (electronics)|noise}} in the signal sense; it only works at a well-defined frequency. In science fiction films, however, laser weapon discharges are usually accompanied by sound. Sun-like Epsilon Eridani became a popular setting for science fiction after its publicity as a target of the {{w|Project Ozma}} experiment.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 176}}
| {{w|Gliese 176 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Pandora}}
| The mythological name {{w|Pandora}} fulfills most of IAU's guidelines and has been popular for planets in science fiction; most recently and famously is {{w|Pandora (Avatar)|the venue}} of James Cameron's ''{{w|Avatar (film)|Avatar}}'' (although actually it is not a planet but just a moon of a gas giant in Alpha Centauri A). It is also a hellish planet from {{w|Frank Herbert}}'s {{w|Frank Herbert bibliography#WorShip novels|WorShip}} series of novels, a jungle planet in Brothers Strugatsky's {{w|Noon Universe}} and the planet used in {{w|Borderlands (video game)|Borderlands Games}}.
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_176_c/ c]
| {{No|Old}}
| Pantera
| A near homophone of Pandora, possibly named for the {{w|Pantera|heavy metal band}}, which was named for the {{w|De Tomaso Pantera|Italian sports car}}, which was named for the panther. Could be a reference to the Avatar movie by James Cameron. The band was ALSO referenced in Terraria, due to the Plantera boss.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-61}}
| {{w|Kepler-61b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| GoldenPalace.com
| A gambling website, known for {{w|GoldenPalace.com|paying to have their name in unusual places}} (like forehead tattoos, species names...).
|-
| {{w|Groombridge 34|Groombridge 34A}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Hot Mess
| This is a reference to the phrase {{w|wikt:hot mess|hot mess}}, meaning a person who is dishevelled but nevertheless attractive.
|-
| Kepler-442
| {{w|Kepler-442b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Seas of {{w|Toothpaste}}
|
|-
| Gliese-422
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| This one weird planet
| Most likely a reference to {{w|clickbait}} articles found on the internet.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|EPIC 201367065|EPIC-201367065}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Sulawesi}}
| {{w|Sulawesi|An island }} in the Indonesian archipelago. Including it in non-Earth maps is an xkcd running gag.
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| Huge {{w|Soccer}} Ball
|
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| Geodude
| [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Geodude_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Geodude] is a Pokémon characterised by its ball-like shape. It resembles a clump of rocks.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Kepler-296}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Kerbal Space Planet
| {{w|Kerbal Space Program}} is a game where model rockets are launched on a scale version of the Earth. It has been referenced in xkcd a number of times (in the title text of [[1106: ADD]], in [[1244: Six Words]], as a part of [[1350: Lorenz]] and in [[1356: Orbital Mechanics]]). Note, though, that the actual planet corresponding to the Earth in the game is called [https://wiki.kerbalspaceprogram.com/wiki/Kerbin "Kerbin"].
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| A$aplanet
| Most probably a pun on the rap group {{w|A$AP Mob}} and their most prominent member {{w|A$AP Rocky}}. May also be a pun on {{w|Kesha}}, also written as Ke$ha. In that case the c of the planet's designation would belong to the name.
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Jurassic World}}
| ''{{w|Jurassic World}}'' was the most recent movie in the ''{{w|Jurassic Park}}'' series.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-296e|e}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| This Land
| Reference to Wash's dialogue in the pilot episode of {{w|Firefly (TV Series)|Firefly}}. Or perhaps the folk song "This Land is Your Land", written and made famous by Woody Guthrie.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-296f|f}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Springfield
| The name of {{w|Springfield (The Simpsons)|the town}} in which animated sitcom {{w|The Simpsons}} is set; possibly a reference to the running joke that the state in which Springfield is located has never been named.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|HR 7722}}
| {{w|HR 7722 b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Betelgeuse}}
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Betelgeuse}} is a star in the constellation Orion. It is commonly (at least by speakers of English) pronounced as "beetlejuice". {{w|Beetlejuice}}, however is a film directed by {{w|Tim Burton}} from 1988. Similarly to Dune/Arrakis (see Gliese 180) and the two Uranuses (see Kepler-283), naming two planets with names that are generally regarded to be identical would cause severe confusion in astronomical discussions.
|-
| {{w|HR 7722 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Beetlejuice
|-
| EPIC 201912552
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Netherlands}} VI
| The title text references this entry. See the explanation of the title text above the table entry.
|-
| rowspan=3 | Gliese 3293
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Antispit
| In the comic [https://www.homestuck.com/ Homestuck] there is a luminous moon named [[wikia:w:c:mspa:Prospit|Prospit]].
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Google Earth}}
| {{w|Google Earth}} is a service, similar to Google Maps, which projects satellite data on a 3D globe that can be zoomed in on. Other features, such as models of buildings, can also appear.
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Planet of the Apes (disambiguation)}}
| The way a Wikipedia article would be titled, for example, to distinguish from the {{w|Planet of the Apes (novel)|the original novel}}, {{w|Planet of the Apes (1968 film)|the first film}}, {{w|Planet of the Apes (2001 film)|the Tim Burton remake}} and {{w|Rise of the Planet of the Apes|the reboot series}}. In each adaptation, a group of astronauts lands on what is believed to be a "Planet of the Apes", which turns out to be a post-apocalyptic Earth. A Wikipedia page for this planet would itself conflict with an existing disambiguation page, possibly requiring a second-level disambiguation page to be created.
|-
| rowspan=2 | Kepler-283
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| ˈjʊərənəs
| rowspan = 2 | Two alternative pronunciations (written in {{w|International Phonetic Alphabet}}) for the planet name Uranus; the first one translates as "YU-ri-nus" ("urine-us"), while the second translates as "yu-RAIN-us" ("your anus"). The first pronunciation (being the same as how the {{w|Uranus (mythology)|Greek god}} is pronounced in English) is preferred by astronomers, but both are commonly heard. Similarly to Dune/Arrakis (see Gliese 180) and Betelgeuse/Beetlejuice (see HR 7722), naming two planets with names that are generally regarded to be identical would cause severe confusion in astronomical discussions.
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| jʊˈreɪnəs
|-
| rowspan=4 | {{w|Upsilon Andromedae}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Fourthmeal
| {{w|Taco Bell}} has an ad campaign adding a meal after dinner. Possibly also a reference to {{w|Hobbit}}s and [https://askmiddlearth.tumblr.com/post/41765286488/the-seven-daily-hobbit-meals seven daily meals]. This entry was misspelled Andromidae in the first comic (and also in the first released version of this one, see [[#Trivia|trivia]].) Although the star was mentioned in the previous chart, this entry "b" was not. In that comic the chart was shown as a part of a list. And the b entry was above the cut-off line. So the next object was also called "c" in the previous chart.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae c|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Stampy
| The name of the elephant from the {{w|Simpsons}} episode {{w|Bart Gets an Elephant}}.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae d|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Moonchild
| The name Bastian gives the Childlike Empress in {{w|The Neverending Story}}.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Ham Sphere
| [https://www.hamsphere.com HamSphere] is a {{w|Amateur radio|Ham Radio}} simulator program. Ham radio uses designated radio frequencies for non-commercial exchange of messages and more. A pun of Hemisphere.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|82 G. Eridani|HD 20794}}
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_b/ b]
| {{No|Old}}
| Cosmic Sands
| style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS', 'Comic Sans'" | A {{w|pun}} on the name of the font {{w|Comic Sans}}. (See also: [[590|590: Papyrus]].)
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_c/ c]
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Legoland}}
| {{w|Legoland}} is a chain of {{w|theme park}}s owned by the {{w|Lego Group}}. Potentially a reference to the movie {{w|The World's End (film)|The World's End}}, in which the protagonist Gary King tells the alien invaders to "get in your rocket and fuck off back to Legoland".
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_d/ d]
| {{No|Old}}
| Planet with Arms
| A reference to the [https://www.thecolorsofmysoul.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/The-Hitchhikers-Guide-to-the-Galaxy.jpg early covers] of {{w|Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}? Could also be a reference to [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/birds-with-arms "Birds with Arms" meme].
|-
| {{w|HD 85512}}
| {{w|HD 85512 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Lax Morality
| Possibly a parody of science fiction in which certain planets are suggested to be uniformly lax in morals (i.e. full of sex, drugs, etc.). See {{tvtropes|Planetville|the TVTropes listing}}, and related. Or, possibly a reference to {{w|GCU Grey Area}}.
|-
| rowspan=6 | {{w|HD 40307}}
| {{w|HD 40307 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Good Planet
| Similar to the above, except with good planets. May also be yet another non-descriptive name, like "Space Planet" and "Planet #14".
|-
|{{w|HD|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Problemland
| See above. Also may be a reference to Iceland/Greenland naming scheme[https://anitasnotebook.com/travelstories/how-iceland-and-greenland-ended-up-with-such-messed-up-names/], where Problemland may actually be a better place to visit than "Good Planet."
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 d|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Slickle
| This is a reference to "[https://zdarsky.tumblr.com/post/2837139960 The Petals Fall Twice]" (possibly NSFW), which was made as a humorous example of bad fan-fiction. The word itself is a portmanteau of "slowly", "licked", and "tickled".
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Spare Parts
| This suggests that the planet is "worthless" or "junk". This is false, of course. May be a reference to the fact it is a planet with nothing much different from the other planets.
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 f|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|New Jersey}} VI
| Refers to the state of {{w|New Jersey}}; may be an insult to either.
|-
|{{w|HD|g}}
| {{No|Old}}
| How Do I Join the {{w|IAU}}
| This implies that the user "got lost" on the IAU website and thought that the "planet name suggestion" input was for general queries.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|Gliese 163}}
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_b/ b]
| {{No|Old}}
| Neil Tyson's Mustache
| {{w|Neil deGrasse Tyson}} is a famous American astrophysicist and science communicator who does maintain a distinguished mustache.
|-
|{{w|Gliese|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| help@gmail.com
| Similar to "How Do I Join the IAU", this implies that the user confused the "planet suggestion" text box for a new email they are trying to send.
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_d/ d]
| {{No|Old}}
| Hair-Covered Planet
| Refers to the well-known {{w|Hairy ball theorem}} of topology.
|-
| {{w|Pi Mensae}}
| {{w|Pi Mensae b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Natural satellite|Moon Holder}}
| {{w|Jupiter}} has more than 60 discovered moons, and still counting... A planet ten times more massive ''must'' also be a Moon Holder.
|-
| {{w|HD 189733}}
| {{w|HD 189733 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Permadeath
| A well-characterized "{{w|Hot Jupiter}}" at a temperature range of 973 ± 33 K to 1,212 ± 11 K. The name refers to the feature of {{w|Permanent death}} common in many RPGs and roguelikes. Or may reference permafrost, which has also been discussed in the comic.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-22}}
| {{w|Kepler-22 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Blue Ivy
| Blue Ivy Carter is the daughter of musicians {{w|Beyoncé}} and {{w|Jay-Z}}.
|-
| KOI-2474
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Store-Brand {{w|Earth}}
| A {{w|Store brand}} is a line of products branded by a retailer. They have a reputation for being lower quality than other brands, and are often marketed similarly to other brands. This is implying that this is a cheaper version of Earth. (This entry replaced the completely different entry Kepler-3284b Blainsley from the previous chart).
|-
| Kepler-437
| b
| {{YesNo|updated}}
| {{w|Unicorn}} Thresher
| As far as we can tell, Kepler-437b is in the vicinity of the constellation Monoceros, aka the Unicorn. (This was labeled Kepler-3255b in the previous chart)
|-
| KOI-2418
| b
| {{No|Old}}
| Spherical Discworld
| {{w|The Discworld}} is the fictional setting for British author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}'s {{w|Discworld}} series of humorous fantasy novels; it consists of a large disc supported by four elephants themselves standing on top of a turtle flying through space. The joke being that the planet could not be spherical and disc-shaped at the same time. (Was listed as Kepler-2418 in the previous chart).
|-
| {{w|Kepler-438}}
| {{w|Kepler-438b|b}}
| {{YesNo|updated}}
| Emergency Backup Earth
| This candidate planet has an {{w|Earth Similarity Index}} of 0.89, making it one of the most habitable {{w|Kepler object of interest}}. The name suggests that it could be used as a backup in case something happened to our current planet. (Was listed as Kepler-1686 in the previous chart; Kepler-1686 b was proven to be a false positive by NASA in 2015).
|-
| KOI-3010
| {{w|KOI-3010.01|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Feeeoooooooop
| Possibly the onomatopoeia for something getting sucked into a black hole.
|-
| Kepler-442
| {{w|Keppler-442b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Liz
| Just a regular name (for a person, not a planet). Maybe a reference to the Magic School Bus.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|82 Eridani}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Horsemeat Surface
| A reference to the {{w|2013 meat adulteration scandal}}, where horsemeat was found in burgers alleging to contain beef. This planet's name suggests that the surface of the entire planet would also contain improperly declared horsemeat.
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| The {{w|Moon}}
| This name would cause confusion with the Earth's moon, which in English is called The Moon. It is also a poor name choice as 82 Eridani c is not a moon, but a planet. This may also be a reference to the name{{Actual citation needed|Which name? Which exoplanet? Would help to at least state these here, if not actually link to them both, not assume that we all know this (like I definitely don't, and didn't quicky discover it for myself, to add in), especially when it might be not even be commonly known outside China itself}} that the Chinese astronomers gave to an exoplanet — the name was previously the nickname of the Moon.
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| Constant Saxophones
| May refer to the fact that there are lots of different kinds of {{w|Saxophone#The_saxophone_family|saxophones}}. A Constant Saxophone may only be able to play one note, while several Constant Saxophones tuned to different notes could assemble the tone range of either normal saxophone. Constant Saxophones could also imply that Saxophone music is played constantly, everywhere on the planet. This could get tiresome for the residents of the planet.
|-
| {{w|HD 102365}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Little Big Planet
| This refers to the videogame {{w|LittleBigPlanet}}. Little Big Planet was also mentioned implicitly in [[Size Venn Diagram]].
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 180}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Dune
| rowspan=2 | Both references to Frank Herbert's {{w|Dune (novel)|Dune}} book series. The planet Arrakis (informally referred to as 'Dune') is the central planet in the mythology, where the mind-enhancing substance 'spice' comes from. Use of spice enables, among others, supercomputing-like mental computation as well as hyperspace navigation. Having two neighbouring planets with names that are historically used to refer to a single planet would sow further confusion in the already extensive catalog of planet names. This is similarly to Betelgeuse/Beetlejuice (see HR 7722) and the two Uranuses (see Kepler-283).
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| Arrakis
|-
| {{w|Fomalhaut}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Swarm of {{w|Bees}}
| From Wikipedia: Fomalhaut b could be a conglomeration of rubble from a recent collision between comet-to-asteroid-sized bodies and not actually identify a planet.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Kepler-62}}
| {{w|Kepler-62b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Sporty
| rowspan=5 | A reference to the {{w|Spice Girls}}. See also the previous comic, [[1554: Spice Girls]], where [[Megan]] was unable to list the members of this pop group. In this case the names are correct, and would give Megan a new and interesting reason to remember them. {{w|Kepler-62f}} is a [https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/kepler/multimedia/images/kepler-62e.html super-Earth-size planet], that may be potentially habitable. {{w|Kepler-62e}} is a possible [https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/kepler/multimedia/images/kepler-62e.html water world].
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Baby
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62d|d}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Scary
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62e|e}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Ginger
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62f|f}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Posh
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|HD 69830}}
| {{w|HD 69830 b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Planet.xxx
| {{w|.xxx}} is a controversial top level domain (like to .com and .net) that is intended to distinguish porn sites from other types of website. Planet X is the name for a still undiscovered planet in our solar system, a common theme both in real science and fiction. The search for "Planet X" lead, by chance, to the discovery of Pluto.
|-
| {{w|HD 69830 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Novella
| A {{w|novella}} is a form of prose with length between a {{w|short story}} and a {{w|novel}}. Common examples of novellas are romance literature centering around intense lustful encounters in cheap paperback books, though also 'serious' literature may be in novella form.
|-
| {{w|HD 69830 d|d}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Sexoplanet
| Like the other two planets orbiting this star, the "69" in the stars designation has lead to a sex joke: All planets in this comic are "exo-planets", planets not orbiting our sun. Adding a single "s" in front results in immature humor.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 682}}
| {{w|Gliese 682 b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Verdant Hellscape
| A contradictory name. "[[wikt:verdant|Verdant]]" usually signifies to be lush with green plant life, while "[[wikt:hellscape|hellscape]]" describes a desolate landscape destroyed by heat and cataclysm.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 682 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Unsubscribe
| On YouTube, "subscribers" (people who get updates on a person's channel) are highly valued, and to "unsubscribe" from anyone is deemed to be offensive. "Unsubscribe" is also the command one sends to {{w|Electronic mailing list}}s to stop receiving said mailing list. In this sense it may imply a desire to no longer be bothered with these silly discussions around planet-names. Like "help@gmail.com" and "How do I join the IAU", "unsubscribe" is a frequently seen accidental message on the Internet in contexts where it is not going to work as a command.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-452}}
| {{w|Kepler-452b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Pluto}}
| This is the planet Black Hat is referring to at the top of the table.
|}

==Transcript==

:[Black Hat points with a stick at a slide showing an image of a planet with unknown features marked by questions marks.]
:Kepler-452b

:Black Hat: NASA has announced the discovery of a (super-)Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone of a sun-like star.
:Black Hat: I suggest we name this planet "Pluto", both to celebrate the great work by the ''New Horizons'' team, and to make the stupid "Is Pluto a planet" debate a little more confusing

:While we wait to hear from the IAU,
:here's a revised and updated list of
:planet name suggestions (see xkcd.com/1253)
:[Red text:] New or updated entries in red

:[The table is in three separate columns. There is a small arrow pointing at the second column, named "Planet", indicating the planet's name corresponding to the star at the first row. The third column shows the planet name suggestions.]

:[Left Columns]

:[Star] Gliese 667c
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Space Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pilf
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] A Star
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Blogosphere
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name] Blogodrome
::[Planet] h [Suggested Name] Earth
:[Star] Tau Ceti
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Giant Dog PLanet
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Tiny Dog Planet
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Phil Plainet
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Unicode Snowman
:[Star] Gliese 832
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Asshole Jupiter
::[Red text for this line:] [Planet] c [Suggested Name] WaterWorld Starring Kevin Costner 
:[Star] Gliese 581
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Waist-Deep Cats
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Planet #14
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Ballderaan
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Eternia Prime
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Taupe Mars
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name]Jelly-Filled Planet
:[Star] Epsilon Eridani
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Skydot
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Laser Noises
:[Star] Gliese 176
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Pandora
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pantera
:[Star] Kepler-61
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Goldenpalace.com
:[Red text for the rest of the rows in this column:] :[Star] Groombridge 34A
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Hot Mess
:[Star] Kepler-442
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Seas of Toothpaste
:[Star] Gliese-422
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] This One Weird Planet
:[Star] Epic-201367065
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sulawesi
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Huge Soccer Ball
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Geodude
:[Star] Kepler-296
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Kerbal Space Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] A$APlanet
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Jurassic World
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] This Land
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Springfield
:[Star] HR 7722
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Betelgeuse
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Beetlejuice
:[Star] Epic 201912252
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Netherlands VI
:[Star] Gliese 3293
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Antispit
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Google Earth
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Planet of the Apes (Disambiguation)
:[Star] Kepler-283
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] jʊərənəs
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] jʊˈreɪnəs

:[End Left Columns]

:[Start Right Columns]

:[Star] Upsilon Andromidae
::[Red text for this line:] [Planet] b [Suggested Name] Fourth meal 
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Stampy
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Moonchild
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Ham Sphere
:[Star] HD 20794
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Cosmic Sands
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] LegoLand
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Planet with Arms
:[Star] HD 85512
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Lax Morality
:[Star] HD 40307
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Good Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Problemland
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Slickle
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Spare Parts
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] New Jersey VI
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name] How do I Join the IAU
:[Star] Gliese 163
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Neil Tyson's Mustache
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Help@gmail.com
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Hair-Covered Planet
:[Star] Pi Mensae
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Moon Holder
:[Star] HD 189733
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Permadeath
:[Star] Kepler-22
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Blue Ivy
:[Red text for this line:] [Star] Koi-2474
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Store-Brand Earth
:[Red text for star-name only:] [Star] Kepler-437 
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Unicorn Thresher
:[Star] Koi-2418
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Spherical DiscWorld
:[Red text for this line:] [Star] Kepler-438
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Emergency Backup Earth 
:[Star] Koi-3010
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Feeeooooooooop
:[Star] Kepler-442
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Liz
:[Red text for the rest of this column:] [Star] 82 Eridani
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Horsemeat Surface
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] The Moon
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Constant Saxophones
:[Star] HD 102365
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Little Big Planet
:[Star] Gliese 180
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Dune
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Arrakis
:[Star] Fomalhaut
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Swarm of Bees
:[Star] Kepler-62
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sporty
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Baby
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Scary
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Ginger
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Posh
:[Star] Kepler-62
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Planet.xxx
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Novella
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Sexoplanet
:[Star] Gliese 682
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Verdant Hellscape
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Unsubscribe
:[Star] Kepler-452
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Pluto

:[End Right Columns]

==Trivia==
* The IPA character for stress is a vertical line ˈ, but Randall uses a slanted line similar to acute accent ´ or prime ′.
* In the [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/f/fd/20150725002854!exoplanet_names_2.png original version of this comic], there were three errors, but they were corrected later the same day. They were:
** Waterworld starring Kevin '''Kostner''' (instead of '''Costner''')
** Upsilon '''Andromidae''' (instead of '''Andromedae''')
** '''Formalhaut''' (instead of '''Fomalhaut''')
* After the initial release of this comic, Randall added a jumbled version of the address to this page. It's viewable in the HTML-source or here: [https://xkcd.com/1555/info.0.json https://xkcd.com/1555/info.0.json]. The text is: ''"Full explanation & dissection & transcription available http:\n\nwww.explainxkcd.com\nwiki\nindex.php\n1555"'', with \n characters replacing the backslashes instead of the JSON-specific \\.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Exoplanet Names 2]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Kerbal Space Program]]
[[Category:Bees]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Spice Girls]]
[[Category:Comics with red annotations]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]
[[Category:Exoplanet Names]]

Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy

2026-06-20T04:04:53Z

YZ100:

[[Beret Guy]] is a very strange character. Sometimes he takes these strange tendencies into the supernatural.

'''Click''' to expand for a more detailed explanation:
<div class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed leftAlign" style="width:100%">
 
==Explanation==
In the early comics he was mostly just a strange and naive guy. There is an early start to the strangeness, but that power could also be attributed to [[Cueball]] (at least it is a shared power) in [[248]].

From comic [[1088]], Beret Guy begins to appear frequently with these strange powers, typically not related to each other, except that he has some issues with electrical sockets and power cords as seen in [[1293]] and [[1395]]. (See also [[509: Induced Current]] and the title text of [[614: Woodpecker]], regarding power cords, but not these strange powers.) He is also capable of waiting for very long time as seen both in [[1088]], [[1617]] and [[2987]].

Many of these apparent powers manifest as objects behaving strangely around him. It is unclear whether these are in fact powers inherent to Beret Guy or whether the objects are simply cursed; as indicated in [[1772]], most of his possessions were acquired from shops specializing in cursed items.

Here is a list of the comics where Beret Guy displays strange powers that are beyond the realm of possibility.

===List of abilities===
#[[248]]: Creates hypothetical situations which trap him and others around him. These situations are spaces, formed with thin, flexible walls that can be torn open with a knife.
#[[1032]]: Is able to photocopy 3d objects to create clones of said object
#[[1088]]: Capable of waiting in the same place for highly extended periods of time, presumably without sustenance
#[[1099]]: He has the ability to grow wings at will, which can extend infinitely if he chooses to do so.
#[[1135]]: He can persuade spiders to spin their silk in such a way that it forms a wearable shirt.
#[[1158]]: He can use his imagination to manifest physical objects
#[[1293]]: His office has an outlet which can dispense soup when needed.
#[[1388]]: He can subduct himself through the floor to form mountains in his room.
#[[1395]]: Is able to inflate a laptop by blowing into a power cord, implying that 1) he exhales helium and 2) he can change the properties of any object at will.
#[[1422]]: His phone has the same properties as a dying star, expanding and exploding as it runs out of power.
#[[1486]]: He is able to harness the energy of a vacuum cleaner and fly using it.
#[[1490]]: He can see individual atoms and distinguish elements apart, but he cannot discern what these atoms make up (he cannot distinguish a human from a dog).
#[[1522]]: By standing on a stepladder and looking through a magnifying glass, he can examine life on exoplanets in detail.
#[[1614]]: Another example of changing the properties of objects at will.
#[[1617]]: He can survive without oxygen for many years. He is also able to gain all necessary nutrients via eating newspaper.
#[[1922]]: Yet another example of changing the properties of objects. He is also apparently able to make dogs follow his exact commands.
#[[2310]]: He has higher dimensional bones, leading to a much greater than normal attraction to the {{w|Great attractor}}. This allows him to sleep and rest on walls and ceilings.
#[[2325]]: Nearby flowing water flows towards him rather than towards the nearest drainage basin. It appears that he is not capable of controlling this.
#[[2376]]: He has the knowledge of a cursed amulet that attracts malicious ghosts. He claims that he can do battle with ghosts, although it is unknown whether this is an ability of his or just him being odd as normal.
#[[2446]]: He had the ability to create very large clumps of {{w|Spike proteins}} after receiving the COVID vaccine, although it is unknown as to whether he is still able to do this.
#[[2534]]: He can construct an object which can stretch and flex to at least 254 miles in length.
#[[2695]]: He created volcano seeds which, when planted, create a tiny volcano.
#[[2710]]: He created a hydroelectric dam that produces more water than passed into it.
#[[2805]]: He has infinite arm strength, as he is able to hold on to a balloon using one arm for at least 1500 years. He experiences no adverse affects during this time.
#[[2850]]: He is able to influence human thoughts at will by changing the status of his house on Google Maps.
#[[2987]]: He stands still for an entire 20 years, presumably without any food or water, to tectonic surf; although he only moved about a meter in that time.
#[[3046]]: He is able to utilize an anomalous ancestry site to figure out that he is related to long-extinct Stromatolites.
#[[3179]]: He is able to estimate the weight of any object that gets hooked onto a fishing rod he is holding.
#[[3240]]: He is able to sail in a life-sized ship in a bottle, making the bottle stay stable and also sail along as if using a sail. Plus he sailed inside the bottle as a kid, when he (and the boat) fit through the bottle neck. Also he survived inside a closed bottle.
#[[3261]]: He can manage stretching because of gravitational waves as a side effect of a medication and not feel any pain or discomfort.
</div>
 

[[Category:Comics by topic]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]

3177: Chessboard Alignment

2026-06-20T03:04:45Z

YZ100: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 3177
| date = December 5, 2025
| title = Chessboard Alignment
| image = chessboard_alignment_2x.png
| imagesize = 397x289px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Luckily, the range is limited by the fact that the square boundary lines follow great circles.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic shows an overhead view of three chess boards side by side, with an average of two players facing each other across the boards. Yellow squares (used to show the available or actual movement of a given piece) have been marked leading from the starting position of the middle board's right bishop (F1) to the upper-right. The path continues beyond the edge of the middle board, across four columns of empty space or unseen table, and ends in the top left corner (A8) of the right board. The right board has only one rook (black rectangle) while the other two boards each have two, so it is implied that the bishop has captured the rook, and the player who made the move is now apparently paying attention to (and plausibly co-playing with the neighbouring player on) the board he has moved his piece to. The text below jokingly claims that if you align chess boards exactly, pieces can cross the boundary like this. This is not legal in normal chess,{{Citation needed}} but fits into [[Randall]]'s long [[:Category:Chess|history of comics]] about unusual chess rules or boards.

The position on the left board is from a blitz game played between Judit Polgar and Magnus Carlsen in Madrid in 2022.[https://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessgame?gid=2325478] The middle board's position seems to have followed (up until before this cross-boards move) the game seen in [[3045: AlphaMove]].

The title text refers to the fact that chess boards are normally placed approximately level (parallel to the surface of the Earth). As such there are two different possible interpretations of the title text, whether you are following geodesics on the surface of the Earth (any great circle) or following the geodesics of spacetime (leaving the Earth and going into space).

; Following great circles
A perfect line of chessboards placed end-to-end on the surface of an Earth-sized sphere (or on perfectly placed tables on that sphere) would form a {{w|great circle}} - the longest possible path around that sphere, as well as only straight path on spheres. This rule would allow chess moves between boards that were kilometers (or even whole countries) apart in any direction, along {{w|great circles}} of the Earth, as any straight line on any sphere or ellipsoid can be extended all the way across. If following the great circle along the ground was considered a straight line, then it would also be possible for each side's rooks, bishops and queen to capture their counterparts in the other color's back row, or, in a later game, they would be able to teleport between left and right sides, or jump onto the other side of any diagonal for pieces that move diagonally, as it would be possible to go around planet following any horizontal, vertical or diagonal line of the chessboard. If no other chessboard were involved it would make it into [https://www.chessvariants.org/shape.dir/torus_standard_board.html Torus chess], but only for pieces that can move an unlimited amount of squares. It would also function differently from Torus Chess for diagonal-movers, because they would move around to the other end of their own diagonal, not loop to the diagonal 4 squares away in a perpendicular direction. There is a caveat to all of this though: the size of a square would have to divide the great circle exactly a rational number of times, with a precision down to micrometers. (The denominator of such number represents how many times that piece would have to go sound the earth.) Quite possibly only one direction would work, if any at all, since Earth is not a perfect sphere, so distance around the Earth would differ in different directions. Notable exceptions would be the South and North Poles, where all great circles are the same. While the North Pole is in the {{w|Arctic Ocean}}, so you won't be able to stay level there easily, at the South Pole there is the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}}, where this variant of chess could be more interesting if you had the correct size of board squares, with both verticals and horizontals working. Alternatively, you could replace squares on the chessboard with rectangles. The difference between vertical and horizontal length would not have to be more than 0.08%, which at regular chessboard size would result in difference of less than 0.5mm, which will be barely noticeable. Replacing squares with rectangles presents a problem, because if you want for chessboard to always be aligned, the required dimensions would depend on the latitude where the chessboard is located, and you would need to put the chessboard at a precise angle on top. Having many different chessboards for different latitudes would not be sustainable.{{Citation needed}}

When you have to pick a single direction that works for looping your own chessboard then there are three options for orienting the chessboard:
* If you choose a horizontal line, then you will get a limited variant of {{w|Cylinder chess}}, where only the Queen and Rooks can utilize the wraparound, and only when moving horizontally.
* If you choose a vertical line, it is technically also a cylinder for Rooks and Queens, but it will create an interesting dynamic, where players would be able to exchange queens and rooks in the first 2 turns (for example, doing this opening: 1. Qxd8+ Kxd8 2. Rxh8 Rxa1).
* If you choose a diagonal, then it will result in Queens and Bishops being able to jump over all pieces (they cannot switch to a different diagonal, as in cylinder chess, as all diagonals will loop on themselves), though they would have to have visibility of one of the edges of the chess board. Also, they cannot jam themselves in-between 2 or more pieces, as they would emerge on the opposite side of the diagonal. Most likely, diagonal works only in one of the two possible directions too, so there is an extra choice there (unless you are at one of the Earth's poles, where you can make both diagonal directions work).

; Following the geodesics of spacetime
While nearby boards would appear to be in the same plane, the curvature of the Earth would cause boards more distant than 3.57 meters away to be in planes so different that the squares would be more than a micrometer off from the ideal straight lines leading off the board. It is thus implied that each infinite-range piece's valid path is a straight line of virtual squares that eventually leads into space. Straight lines would have to be in the overall spacetime of the universe along a {{w|Geodesics in general relativity|geodesic}}. This would not rule out motion to another board on another celestial body or spaceship, though delivery of a chess piece across this distance would be impractical{{Citation needed}} and other objects in space would move so fast relative to your board that they would be in alignment for only a fraction of a second, unless it is a satellite in a {{w|geostationary orbit}}. If you want to be level with Earth and 'aim' your chessboard at a geostationary satellite, you would have to be at latitude of around 81.4° in either Arctic or Antarctic, because those orbits are so far away from the Earth. So chess games would have to take place at some {{w|List of northernmost settlements|arctic research station}} ({{w|Station Nord, Greenland}} being the optimal) or somewhere on the continent of {{w|Antarctica}} (the best research station there would be {{w|Sobral Base}}, though not as good as Station Nord). If this interpretation is accepted then this can be considered a second comic in a week about [[3174: Bridge Clearance|distances extending past typical boundaries]].

[[:Category:Chess|Chess]] is a common recurring theme on xkcd.

==Transcript==

:[An aerial view of three chess-games, with six players shown, in each case with white at the near-side of board (towards the bottom of the comic panel) and each having reasonably developed game positions.]
:[The middle board has yellow highlight on the squares from white's King's Bishop's original position, diagonally forward-right to the respective edge square of the board, then four more squares in the gap between boards until ending on the black Queen's Rook square of the right-hand board, which appears now to have three white bishops, one of them on this rook's starting square.
:[There is just one black rook, elsewhere on the right board, whether or not the other was lost to middle-board's bishop, and the middle board has only one bishop (and is lacking three pawns, with just two others still in their starting positions), for white, with apparently their King sent forward-left by two successive diagonal moves but no other major pieces having noticably relocated.]
:[The middle board's near-side player has now also moved across to pay attention to the right hand board, leaving only his opponent facing his original board.]

:[Text below the main scene's panel:] It doesn't happen often because it requires micrometer precision, but if two chess boards are '''''perfectly''''' aligned, it's actually legal to move pieces between them.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Chess]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Geometry]]

Talk:3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T02:51:13Z

YZ100:

FIRST COMMENT! [[User:YZ100|YZ100]] 2:07, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

I do believe this takes the cake from [[Doppler Effect]] as my all time favorite. [[User:Jjj|Jjj]] ([[User talk:Jjj|talk]]) 02:43, 20 June 2026 (UTC)
:The Doppler Effect one was a good one. [[User:YZ100|YZ100]] ([[User talk:YZ100|talk]]) 2:51, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T02:49:58Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by sensitive medication and HAS SIDE EFFECTS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is standing to the right of Ponytail.]
:Beret Guy: This new topical medication makes me extra sensitive to sun exposure and gravitational waves.
:[Beret Guy's arms are out.]
:Ponytail: Oh yeah, that's a common ...wait, what was that last part?
:Beret Guy: Here comes one now!
:[Beret Guy is stretched out in height, then he gets shorter and wider, then stretched out again.]
:Beret Guy: ''WHEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-06-20T02:49:31Z

YZ100: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that interacts extremely rarely with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to {{w|photon}}s being produced by that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a "neutrino project" and then embezzled these funds for a {{w|Party#Pool_party|pool party}}, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. Supposedly, they only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Given that they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked, it may be that the money was to find out how to build the detector, though such preliminary research would probably be far less expensive than the actual construction, and the budget wouldn't make sense. Through their own curiosity, they have then inadvertently ended up still somehow achieving their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is "huge", which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an Olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. A regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an Olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. Since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m2, the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be difficult, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The small size of the pool may not necessarily be a problem in the context of the cartoon: the final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. This could fulfill the shielding requirement, but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; Kidball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Kidball]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-06-20T02:48:59Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that interacts extremely rarely with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to {{w|photon}}s being produced by that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a "neutrino project" and then embezzled these funds for a {{w|Party#Pool_party|pool party}}, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. Supposedly, they only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Given that they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked, it may be that the money was to find out how to build the detector, though such preliminary research would probably be far less expensive than the actual construction, and the budget wouldn't make sense. Through their own curiosity, they have then inadvertently ended up still somehow achieving their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is "huge", which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an Olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. A regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an Olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. Since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m2, the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be difficult, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The small size of the pool may not necessarily be a problem in the context of the cartoon: the final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. This could fulfill the shielding requirement, but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; a Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Kidball]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-06-20T02:48:05Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that interacts extremely rarely with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to {{w|photon}}s being produced by that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a "neutrino project" and then embezzled these funds for a {{w|Party#Pool_party|pool party}}, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. Supposedly, they only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Given that they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked, it may be that the money was to find out how to build the detector, though such preliminary research would probably be far less expensive than the actual construction, and the budget wouldn't make sense. Through their own curiosity, they have then inadvertently ended up still somehow achieving their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is "huge", which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an Olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. A regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an Olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. Since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m2, the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be difficult, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The small size of the pool may not necessarily be a problem in the context of the cartoon: the final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. This could fulfill the shielding requirement, but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; a Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T02:32:25Z

YZ100: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by sensitive medication recently and HAS SIDE EFFECTS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is standing to the right of Ponytail.]
:Beret Guy: This new topical medication makes me extra sensitive to sun exposure and gravitational waves.
:[Beret Guy's arms are out.]
:Ponytail: Oh yeah, that's a common ...wait, what was that last part?
:Beret Guy: Here comes one now!
:[Beret Guy is stretched out in height, then he gets shorter and wider, then stretched out again.]
:Beret Guy: ''WHEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T02:16:40Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by sensitive medication recently and HAS SIDE EFFECTS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
[Beret Guy is standing to the right of Ponytail.]
Beret Guy: This new topical medication makes me extra sensitive to sun exposure and gravitational waves.
[Beret Guy's arms are out.]
Ponytail: Oh yeah, that's a common ...wait, what was that last part?
Beret Guy: Here comes one now!
[Beret Guy is stretched out in height, then he gets shorter and wider, then stretched out again.]
Beret Guy: ''WHEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T02:09:07Z

YZ100: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by sensitive medication recently and HAS SIDE EFFECTS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

Talk:3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T02:07:23Z

YZ100:

FIRST COMMENT! [[User:YZ100|YZ100]] 2:07, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

1193: Externalities

2026-06-20T02:05:58Z

YZ100: /* Trivia */

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from. ''[[:Category:Multiple title texts|Different title text]]:'' This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, editing a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.) ''Different title text:'' Happy April 1st, Everyone! ''Different title text:'' uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv ''Different title text:'' The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 6
| date = April 1, 2013
| days_late =
| day_category = Monday
| prev_title = 1037: Umwelt
| prev_date = April 1, 2012
| next_title = 1350: Lorenz
| next_date = April 1, 2014
| extra_text =
}}
{{TOC}}This was the sixth [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]] released by [[Randall]].

==Explanation==
This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. It presented a competition for students to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} but also an aid appeal for the Wikimedia Foundation. The comic references multiple times {{w|Baidu}}, a large Chinese Internet services company. Baidu controls the predominant Internet search provider of China and is sometimes called the "Google of China" for the similar services it provides. Baidu Search results follow the censorship dictates of the Chinese authorities, causing it to return censored responses to searches for politically sensitive terms when executed by web browsers in China. Thus, Megan replies "But nothing about Tiananmen Square." in the first panel is a reference to the {{w|1989 Tiananmen Square protests and massacre}} that killed hundreds of civilians. "It takes great minds to stifle other great minds." and "Let's block Canada" in the second panel are also references to the arbitrary government censorship of Baidu and other Chinese companies.

The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.
*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is randomly selected from a pool of companies. It was formerly the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fifth Panel|changes]], depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same.
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/?utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===Hashing Competition===
For the two days until comic 1194 appeared, a competition was underway to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}}. The first text line of the first panel contains a link to http://almamater.xkcd.com. This page contained the text:

:Currently looking for Skein 1024 1024 input matching
<pre>5b4da95f5fa08280fc9879df44f418c8f9f12ba424b7757de02bbdfbae0d4c4fdf9317c80cc5fe04c6429073466cf29706b8c25999ddd2f6540d4475cc977b87f4757be023f19b8f4035d7722886b78869826de916a79cf9c94cc79cd4347d24b567aa3e2390a573a373a48a5e676640c79cc70197e1c5e7f902fb53ca1858b6</pre>

On this page, users were invited to enter "Your school's domain name" — presumably intended to be their college alma mater. (At least in the beginning, only a few top-level domains were accepted.) If the user entered an acceptable domain (by xkcd's rules, which apparently changed during the 48 hours of the competition), they could then enter data values one at a time. For each data value entered, xkcd returned a hash value and the number of bits by which it differed from the target value. The object was to achieve the lowest possible number of differing bits, ideally zero.

A ranking page showed the lowest value achieved for each domain name entered, but not the data that achieved it. The first name on the list was substituted in various panels, and the third-place school showed in panel five. No data values were reported by xkcd, but various results were posted by users of the xkcd forums and on other websites, leading to copycat submissions, so that occasionally large numbers of institutions would show the same moderately low value.

After the end of the contest, the data submission page vanished, replaced by the final list of rankings, which shows that Carnegie Mellon University achieved the best score with 384 bits incorrect out of 1024. The rankings only show a few hundred out of the several thousand domains submitted—presumably Randall chose to chop the copycat submissions off the end of the list, retaining only honestly obtained results.

===First Panel===
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work for Activision... er... Blizzard... er...
:Megan: Activision Blizzard?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students! <nowiki>|</nowiki> Ahoy. Carnegie Melonites!
:Come find your future at Baidu!
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|-
|
:Whatever. Come create the future of gaming!
:Ponytail: Call of Duty 14.
:Men: That's genius!
|-
|
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Men: Sounds good.
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba)
|-
|
:Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|
:Travel to us by Roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|
:We're so close you can get to us by Roomba.
|-
|
:Free Roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|
:Your Roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|
:Just a short Roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|
:We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|
:We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|
:We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|
:We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Or students from [university], if they're clever with their applications
|-
|
:Possibly [university] grads, if their form-filling startup works out.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, if they manage to fill out the application correctly.
|}

The text in the form varies independently of the text at the top, sometimes related to the organization in 3rd place:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Organization
!Name
!Email
!Education
!(Explanation)
|-
|MIT
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|As an undergrad at MIT in 1948, Smoot was used to measure the Harvard Bridge during a fraternity prank. This led to the introduction of "{{w|smoot}}" as an unusual unit of length.
|-
|
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|CMU
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
| Le(e)roy Jenkins is an internet meme originating from a 2006 'Let's Play' video of World of Warcraft
|-
|CMU
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|Cambridge
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|St.Olaf
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Ohio State
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
| A joke on the pronunciation of Ohio.
|-
|
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
| .edu is a website suffix mostly used for (American) university websites.
|-
|
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Michigan
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|University of Michigan is in Ann Arbor; the mascot is the Wolverine. "South Detroit" is referenced in the song {{w|Don't Stop Believin'}}, which is notable because there is actually no such city or neighborhood; rather, Detroit is one of the only places in the contiguous United States where you can drive south and wind up in Canada, namely in the city of {{w|Windsor, Ontario}}. Michiganders therefore often object to the bad geography in the song.
|-
|
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|PO Box 12532 is located at Pyramid Lake in Nevada.
|-
|Oxford
|Bond, James
|Righto
|We're better than Cambridge
|-
|
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|Kit
|Kat
|Oh dear
|Something something sleep
|-
|Google
|My G+ handle?
|Any
|I'm feeling lucky
|G+ stands for Google+, Google's defunct social network. "I'm feeling lucky" is the second option under the searchbar on Google.
|-
|UIC
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|Presumably University of Illinois at Chicago. "Which one" could be a reference to other institutions with the same initials, or people who confuse "UIC" with "U of C" (University of Chicago, a different institution altogether). The rapid transit system in Chicago is called the 'L'.
|-
|
|MY JOB NOW
|@
|SAVE DOCUMENT AND SEND
| Could be Randall saying most jobs are just sending e-mails (@).
|}

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|
:Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|
:At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|
:At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine
|-
|
:Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|
:At [company], you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|
:At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|
:You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|
:At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|
:Make use of our powerful in-house game creation tools.
|-
|
:We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2A.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|}

===Title Text===
{{incomplete|Need to explain the 5th panel's title text.}}

The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Comic region
!Title text
! Explanation
|-
|Most of the comic, during the competition.||Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.||Different title texts are for different panels, as explained in this one.
|-
|Most of the comic, after the competition ended||This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)||This is one of the comics like [[3227: Creation]], where the title text explains the update instead of containing a joke or two.
|-
|The part of the first panel (text and drawing) which is not a link. There is no title text at all over the part where the link is active||Happy April 1st, Everyone!||The title text celebrates April 1st.
|-
|Fifth panel.||[University] has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv (University = uic after competition)||
|-
|Last three panels (only within a frame that would just fit around all three of them).||The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikimedia foundation via this link. Currently at [amount donated] (Amount = $51135.33 after competition).||A joke where the dog weighs about 5113.533 pounds currently and will gain a pound for every $10 donated to Wikimedia foundation.
|}

==Transcript==
:[This was a dynamic image where the text changed during April 1st. The main title text also changed after the dynamic part was finished, and there are even different title text for different part of the comic. This transcript is of the final version of the comic, (no longer dynamic or changing), as displayed at present on xkcd, there are still four different title texts for specific panels. These four title text are for that reason included here in the transcript.]

:[The basic title text for the entire comic is: "This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)" The other three title text are only active over certain panels.]

:[The first panel with the caption and Megan below has its own title text. A part of that panel is a link, and in the section where this link is active there is no title text at all. The title text for the rest of the first panel is: "Happy April 1st, everyone!"]

:[A panel with only text is above the first drawing. There is a link on the top part of the text to <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/</nowiki> (the link is now broken).]
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:
:Come find your future at Baidu.

:[Below, not in a frame, is Megan.]
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:[Ponytail sits at a desk, hand to her chin, with two Cueball-like guys with their hands on the table.]
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Cueball-like guys: Sounds good.

:[Ponytail crouches on a moving Roomba (labeled) with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Above her is a caption. The Roomba makes a noice]
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba.)
:''Whirrrrrrr''
:Roomba

:[Ponytail and Hairy corners Cueball as he walks out of a door, and a black haired ponytailed girl is moving towards him wielding a giant butterfly net. There is a caption above them:]
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware CMU graduates

:[The fifth panel has its own title text only active within (or very close to) the frame. It is: "uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv</nowiki>" (The link is now broken)]

:[There is a caption above a website application. There is three fields to be filled, with each their caption and text:]
:or uic graduates, provied any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
::Name which one
::Email forget it
::Education Riding the L all night long

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:At Baidu, Inc., you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
:[Cueball sits at a computer.]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-screen voice: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:[The last three panels has their own title text, only active within a frame that could contain all three panel. Outside that "frame" (all the way around) is the other title text. Within the title text is: "The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33."]

:[Small insert panel, going in above the next larger panel: Cueball stares at the screen.]
:''Kzzzt''
:''*bip*''
:Off-screen voice: Uh oh.

:[A giant dog looks down at the desk where the computer once was, now only the wires are left. Cueball, leaning way back in his office chair, holding his hand to his mouth, stares up at it.]

:[Again a smaller insert panel above the large one with the dog. A graphic showing two sliders and a dog (similar to the one in the previous panel). Next to the dog with arrows pointing to it are a thermometer graphic and an equation. Below is an e-mail type text and finally a caption. There are arrows over and under "God" and "dogs" between the g and d's.]
:d(x)=R
:careers@baidu, Inc.
:'''Play God with dogs.'''TM

==Trivia==
*This is the first [[xkcd]] comic with [[:Category:Multiple title texts|multiple title texts]], the others being [[1663: Garden]] and [[3074: Push Notifications]].
*At one point, this comic looked blank entirely. However, in January 2024, the bug was fixed.
*The gap between this [[:Category:Dynamic comics|dynamic comic]] and the previous one was only a week, being the shortest gap between dynamic comics in all of xkcd. However, one of the title texts confirms that this was the April Fools' Day comic and not [[1190: Time]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dogs]]
[[Category:Roomba]]
[[Category:Butterfly net]]
[[Category:Singularity]]
[[Category:Multiple title texts]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

1193: Externalities

2026-06-19T23:20:05Z

YZ100: /* Trivia */ Fixed my small typo

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from. ''[[:Category:Multiple title texts|Different title text]]:'' This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, editing a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.) ''Different title text:'' Happy April 1st, Everyone! ''Different title text:'' uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv ''Different title text:'' The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 6
| date = April 1, 2013
| days_late =
| day_category = Monday
| prev_title = 1037: Umwelt
| prev_date = April 1, 2012
| next_title = 1350: Lorenz
| next_date = April 1, 2014
| extra_text =
}}
{{TOC}}This was the sixth [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]] released by [[Randall]].

==Explanation==
This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. It presented a competition for students to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} but also an aid appeal for the Wikimedia Foundation. The comic references multiple times {{w|Baidu}}, a large Chinese Internet services company. Baidu controls the predominant Internet search provider of China and is sometimes called the "Google of China" for the similar services it provides. Baidu Search results follow the censorship dictates of the Chinese authorities, causing it to return censored responses to searches for politically sensitive terms when executed by web browsers in China. Thus, Megan replies "But nothing about Tiananmen Square." in the first panel is a reference to the {{w|1989 Tiananmen Square protests and massacre}} that killed hundreds of civilians. "It takes great minds to stifle other great minds." and "Let's block Canada" in the second panel are also references to the arbitrary government censorship of Baidu and other Chinese companies.

The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.
*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is randomly selected from a pool of companies. It was formerly the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fifth Panel|changes]], depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same.
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/?utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===Hashing Competition===
For the two days until comic 1194 appeared, a competition was underway to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}}. The first text line of the first panel contains a link to http://almamater.xkcd.com. This page contained the text:

:Currently looking for Skein 1024 1024 input matching
<pre>5b4da95f5fa08280fc9879df44f418c8f9f12ba424b7757de02bbdfbae0d4c4fdf9317c80cc5fe04c6429073466cf29706b8c25999ddd2f6540d4475cc977b87f4757be023f19b8f4035d7722886b78869826de916a79cf9c94cc79cd4347d24b567aa3e2390a573a373a48a5e676640c79cc70197e1c5e7f902fb53ca1858b6</pre>

On this page, users were invited to enter "Your school's domain name" — presumably intended to be their college alma mater. (At least in the beginning, only a few top-level domains were accepted.) If the user entered an acceptable domain (by xkcd's rules, which apparently changed during the 48 hours of the competition), they could then enter data values one at a time. For each data value entered, xkcd returned a hash value and the number of bits by which it differed from the target value. The object was to achieve the lowest possible number of differing bits, ideally zero.

A ranking page showed the lowest value achieved for each domain name entered, but not the data that achieved it. The first name on the list was substituted in various panels, and the third-place school showed in panel five. No data values were reported by xkcd, but various results were posted by users of the xkcd forums and on other websites, leading to copycat submissions, so that occasionally large numbers of institutions would show the same moderately low value.

After the end of the contest, the data submission page vanished, replaced by the final list of rankings, which shows that Carnegie Mellon University achieved the best score with 384 bits incorrect out of 1024. The rankings only show a few hundred out of the several thousand domains submitted—presumably Randall chose to chop the copycat submissions off the end of the list, retaining only honestly obtained results.

===First Panel===
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work for Activision... er... Blizzard... er...
:Megan: Activision Blizzard?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students! <nowiki>|</nowiki> Ahoy. Carnegie Melonites!
:Come find your future at Baidu!
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|-
|
:Whatever. Come create the future of gaming!
:Ponytail: Call of Duty 14.
:Men: That's genius!
|-
|
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Men: Sounds good.
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba)
|-
|
:Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|
:Travel to us by Roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|
:We're so close you can get to us by Roomba.
|-
|
:Free Roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|
:Your Roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|
:Just a short Roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|
:We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|
:We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|
:We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|
:We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Or students from [university], if they're clever with their applications
|-
|
:Possibly [university] grads, if their form-filling startup works out.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, if they manage to fill out the application correctly.
|}

The text in the form varies independently of the text at the top, sometimes related to the organization in 3rd place:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Organization
!Name
!Email
!Education
!(Explanation)
|-
|MIT
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|As an undergrad at MIT in 1948, Smoot was used to measure the Harvard Bridge during a fraternity prank. This led to the introduction of "{{w|smoot}}" as an unusual unit of length.
|-
|
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|CMU
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
| Le(e)roy Jenkins is an internet meme originating from a 2006 'Let's Play' video of World of Warcraft
|-
|CMU
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|Cambridge
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|St.Olaf
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Ohio State
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
| A joke on the pronunciation of Ohio.
|-
|
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
| .edu is a website suffix mostly used for (American) university websites.
|-
|
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Michigan
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|University of Michigan is in Ann Arbor; the mascot is the Wolverine. "South Detroit" is referenced in the song {{w|Don't Stop Believin'}}, which is notable because there is actually no such city or neighborhood; rather, Detroit is one of the only places in the contiguous United States where you can drive south and wind up in Canada, namely in the city of {{w|Windsor, Ontario}}. Michiganders therefore often object to the bad geography in the song.
|-
|
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|PO Box 12532 is located at Pyramid Lake in Nevada.
|-
|Oxford
|Bond, James
|Righto
|We're better than Cambridge
|-
|
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|Kit
|Kat
|Oh dear
|Something something sleep
|-
|Google
|My G+ handle?
|Any
|I'm feeling lucky
|G+ stands for Google+, Google's defunct social network. "I'm feeling lucky" is the second option under the searchbar on Google.
|-
|UIC
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|Presumably University of Illinois at Chicago. "Which one" could be a reference to other institutions with the same initials, or people who confuse "UIC" with "U of C" (University of Chicago, a different institution altogether). The rapid transit system in Chicago is called the 'L'.
|-
|
|MY JOB NOW
|@
|SAVE DOCUMENT AND SEND
| Could be Randall saying most jobs are just sending e-mails (@).
|}

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|
:Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|
:At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|
:At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine
|-
|
:Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|
:At [company], you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|
:At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|
:You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|
:At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|
:Make use of our powerful in-house game creation tools.
|-
|
:We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2A.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|}

===Title Text===
{{incomplete|Need to explain the 5th panel's title text.}}

The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Comic region
!Title text
! Explanation
|-
|Most of the comic, during the competition.||Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.||Different title texts are for different panels, as explained in this one.
|-
|Most of the comic, after the competition ended||This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)||This is one of the comics like [[3227: Creation]], where the title text explains the update instead of containing a joke or two.
|-
|The part of the first panel (text and drawing) which is not a link. There is no title text at all over the part where the link is active||Happy April 1st, Everyone!||The title text celebrates April 1st.
|-
|Fifth panel.||[University] has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv (University = uic after competition)||
|-
|Last three panels (only within a frame that would just fit around all three of them).||The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikimedia foundation via this link. Currently at [amount donated] (Amount = $51135.33 after competition).||A joke where the dog weighs about 5113.533 pounds currently and will gain a pound for every $10 donated to Wikimedia foundation.
|}

==Transcript==
:[This was a dynamic image where the text changed during April 1st. The main title text also changed after the dynamic part was finished, and there are even different title text for different part of the comic. This transcript is of the final version of the comic, (no longer dynamic or changing), as displayed at present on xkcd, there are still four different title texts for specific panels. These four title text are for that reason included here in the transcript.]

:[The basic title text for the entire comic is: "This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)" The other three title text are only active over certain panels.]

:[The first panel with the caption and Megan below has its own title text. A part of that panel is a link, and in the section where this link is active there is no title text at all. The title text for the rest of the first panel is: "Happy April 1st, everyone!"]

:[A panel with only text is above the first drawing. There is a link on the top part of the text to <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/</nowiki> (the link is now broken).]
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:
:Come find your future at Baidu.

:[Below, not in a frame, is Megan.]
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:[Ponytail sits at a desk, hand to her chin, with two Cueball-like guys with their hands on the table.]
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Cueball-like guys: Sounds good.

:[Ponytail crouches on a moving Roomba (labeled) with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Above her is a caption. The Roomba makes a noice]
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba.)
:''Whirrrrrrr''
:Roomba

:[Ponytail and Hairy corners Cueball as he walks out of a door, and a black haired ponytailed girl is moving towards him wielding a giant butterfly net. There is a caption above them:]
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware CMU graduates

:[The fifth panel has its own title text only active within (or very close to) the frame. It is: "uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv</nowiki>" (The link is now broken)]

:[There is a caption above a website application. There is three fields to be filled, with each their caption and text:]
:or uic graduates, provied any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
::Name which one
::Email forget it
::Education Riding the L all night long

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:At Baidu, Inc., you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
:[Cueball sits at a computer.]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-screen voice: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:[The last three panels has their own title text, only active within a frame that could contain all three panel. Outside that "frame" (all the way around) is the other title text. Within the title text is: "The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33."]

:[Small insert panel, going in above the next larger panel: Cueball stares at the screen.]
:''Kzzzt''
:''*bip*''
:Off-screen voice: Uh oh.

:[A giant dog looks down at the desk where the computer once was, now only the wires are left. Cueball, leaning way back in his office chair, holding his hand to his mouth, stares up at it.]

:[Again a smaller insert panel above the large one with the dog. A graphic showing two sliders and a dog (similar to the one in the previous panel). Next to the dog with arrows pointing to it are a thermometer graphic and an equation. Below is an e-mail type text and finally a caption. There are arrows over and under "God" and "dogs" between the g and d's.]
:d(x)=R
:careers@baidu, Inc.
:'''Play God with dogs.'''TM

==Trivia==
*This is the first [[xkcd]] comic with [[:Category:Multiple title texts|multiple title texts]], the others being [[1663: Garden]] and [[3074: Push Notifications]]
*At one point, this comic looked blank entirely. However, in January 2024, the bug was fixed.
*The gap between this [[:Category:Dynamic comics|dynamic comic]] and the previous one was only a week, being the shortest gap between dynamic comics in all of xkcd. However, one of the title texts confirms that this was the April Fools' Day comic and not [[1190: Time]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dogs]]
[[Category:Roomba]]
[[Category:Butterfly net]]
[[Category:Singularity]]
[[Category:Multiple title texts]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

1193: Externalities

2026-06-19T23:19:22Z

YZ100: /* Trivia */

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from. ''[[:Category:Multiple title texts|Different title text]]:'' This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, editing a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.) ''Different title text:'' Happy April 1st, Everyone! ''Different title text:'' uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv ''Different title text:'' The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 6
| date = April 1, 2013
| days_late =
| day_category = Monday
| prev_title = 1037: Umwelt
| prev_date = April 1, 2012
| next_title = 1350: Lorenz
| next_date = April 1, 2014
| extra_text =
}}
{{TOC}}This was the sixth [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]] released by [[Randall]].

==Explanation==
This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. It presented a competition for students to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} but also an aid appeal for the Wikimedia Foundation. The comic references multiple times {{w|Baidu}}, a large Chinese Internet services company. Baidu controls the predominant Internet search provider of China and is sometimes called the "Google of China" for the similar services it provides. Baidu Search results follow the censorship dictates of the Chinese authorities, causing it to return censored responses to searches for politically sensitive terms when executed by web browsers in China. Thus, Megan replies "But nothing about Tiananmen Square." in the first panel is a reference to the {{w|1989 Tiananmen Square protests and massacre}} that killed hundreds of civilians. "It takes great minds to stifle other great minds." and "Let's block Canada" in the second panel are also references to the arbitrary government censorship of Baidu and other Chinese companies.

The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.
*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is randomly selected from a pool of companies. It was formerly the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fifth Panel|changes]], depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same.
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/?utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===Hashing Competition===
For the two days until comic 1194 appeared, a competition was underway to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}}. The first text line of the first panel contains a link to http://almamater.xkcd.com. This page contained the text:

:Currently looking for Skein 1024 1024 input matching
<pre>5b4da95f5fa08280fc9879df44f418c8f9f12ba424b7757de02bbdfbae0d4c4fdf9317c80cc5fe04c6429073466cf29706b8c25999ddd2f6540d4475cc977b87f4757be023f19b8f4035d7722886b78869826de916a79cf9c94cc79cd4347d24b567aa3e2390a573a373a48a5e676640c79cc70197e1c5e7f902fb53ca1858b6</pre>

On this page, users were invited to enter "Your school's domain name" — presumably intended to be their college alma mater. (At least in the beginning, only a few top-level domains were accepted.) If the user entered an acceptable domain (by xkcd's rules, which apparently changed during the 48 hours of the competition), they could then enter data values one at a time. For each data value entered, xkcd returned a hash value and the number of bits by which it differed from the target value. The object was to achieve the lowest possible number of differing bits, ideally zero.

A ranking page showed the lowest value achieved for each domain name entered, but not the data that achieved it. The first name on the list was substituted in various panels, and the third-place school showed in panel five. No data values were reported by xkcd, but various results were posted by users of the xkcd forums and on other websites, leading to copycat submissions, so that occasionally large numbers of institutions would show the same moderately low value.

After the end of the contest, the data submission page vanished, replaced by the final list of rankings, which shows that Carnegie Mellon University achieved the best score with 384 bits incorrect out of 1024. The rankings only show a few hundred out of the several thousand domains submitted—presumably Randall chose to chop the copycat submissions off the end of the list, retaining only honestly obtained results.

===First Panel===
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work for Activision... er... Blizzard... er...
:Megan: Activision Blizzard?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students! <nowiki>|</nowiki> Ahoy. Carnegie Melonites!
:Come find your future at Baidu!
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|-
|
:Whatever. Come create the future of gaming!
:Ponytail: Call of Duty 14.
:Men: That's genius!
|-
|
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Men: Sounds good.
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba)
|-
|
:Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|
:Travel to us by Roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|
:We're so close you can get to us by Roomba.
|-
|
:Free Roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|
:Your Roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|
:Just a short Roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|
:We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|
:We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|
:We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|
:We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Or students from [university], if they're clever with their applications
|-
|
:Possibly [university] grads, if their form-filling startup works out.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, if they manage to fill out the application correctly.
|}

The text in the form varies independently of the text at the top, sometimes related to the organization in 3rd place:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Organization
!Name
!Email
!Education
!(Explanation)
|-
|MIT
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|As an undergrad at MIT in 1948, Smoot was used to measure the Harvard Bridge during a fraternity prank. This led to the introduction of "{{w|smoot}}" as an unusual unit of length.
|-
|
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|CMU
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
| Le(e)roy Jenkins is an internet meme originating from a 2006 'Let's Play' video of World of Warcraft
|-
|CMU
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|Cambridge
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|St.Olaf
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Ohio State
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
| A joke on the pronunciation of Ohio.
|-
|
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
| .edu is a website suffix mostly used for (American) university websites.
|-
|
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Michigan
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|University of Michigan is in Ann Arbor; the mascot is the Wolverine. "South Detroit" is referenced in the song {{w|Don't Stop Believin'}}, which is notable because there is actually no such city or neighborhood; rather, Detroit is one of the only places in the contiguous United States where you can drive south and wind up in Canada, namely in the city of {{w|Windsor, Ontario}}. Michiganders therefore often object to the bad geography in the song.
|-
|
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|PO Box 12532 is located at Pyramid Lake in Nevada.
|-
|Oxford
|Bond, James
|Righto
|We're better than Cambridge
|-
|
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|Kit
|Kat
|Oh dear
|Something something sleep
|-
|Google
|My G+ handle?
|Any
|I'm feeling lucky
|G+ stands for Google+, Google's defunct social network. "I'm feeling lucky" is the second option under the searchbar on Google.
|-
|UIC
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|Presumably University of Illinois at Chicago. "Which one" could be a reference to other institutions with the same initials, or people who confuse "UIC" with "U of C" (University of Chicago, a different institution altogether). The rapid transit system in Chicago is called the 'L'.
|-
|
|MY JOB NOW
|@
|SAVE DOCUMENT AND SEND
| Could be Randall saying most jobs are just sending e-mails (@).
|}

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|
:Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|
:At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|
:At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine
|-
|
:Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|
:At [company], you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|
:At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|
:You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|
:At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|
:Make use of our powerful in-house game creation tools.
|-
|
:We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2A.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|}

===Title Text===
{{incomplete|Need to explain the 5th panel's title text.}}

The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Comic region
!Title text
! Explanation
|-
|Most of the comic, during the competition.||Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.||Different title texts are for different panels, as explained in this one.
|-
|Most of the comic, after the competition ended||This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)||This is one of the comics like [[3227: Creation]], where the title text explains the update instead of containing a joke or two.
|-
|The part of the first panel (text and drawing) which is not a link. There is no title text at all over the part where the link is active||Happy April 1st, Everyone!||The title text celebrates April 1st.
|-
|Fifth panel.||[University] has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv (University = uic after competition)||
|-
|Last three panels (only within a frame that would just fit around all three of them).||The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikimedia foundation via this link. Currently at [amount donated] (Amount = $51135.33 after competition).||A joke where the dog weighs about 5113.533 pounds currently and will gain a pound for every $10 donated to Wikimedia foundation.
|}

==Transcript==
:[This was a dynamic image where the text changed during April 1st. The main title text also changed after the dynamic part was finished, and there are even different title text for different part of the comic. This transcript is of the final version of the comic, (no longer dynamic or changing), as displayed at present on xkcd, there are still four different title texts for specific panels. These four title text are for that reason included here in the transcript.]

:[The basic title text for the entire comic is: "This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)" The other three title text are only active over certain panels.]

:[The first panel with the caption and Megan below has its own title text. A part of that panel is a link, and in the section where this link is active there is no title text at all. The title text for the rest of the first panel is: "Happy April 1st, everyone!"]

:[A panel with only text is above the first drawing. There is a link on the top part of the text to <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/</nowiki> (the link is now broken).]
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:
:Come find your future at Baidu.

:[Below, not in a frame, is Megan.]
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:[Ponytail sits at a desk, hand to her chin, with two Cueball-like guys with their hands on the table.]
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Cueball-like guys: Sounds good.

:[Ponytail crouches on a moving Roomba (labeled) with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Above her is a caption. The Roomba makes a noice]
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba.)
:''Whirrrrrrr''
:Roomba

:[Ponytail and Hairy corners Cueball as he walks out of a door, and a black haired ponytailed girl is moving towards him wielding a giant butterfly net. There is a caption above them:]
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware CMU graduates

:[The fifth panel has its own title text only active within (or very close to) the frame. It is: "uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv</nowiki>" (The link is now broken)]

:[There is a caption above a website application. There is three fields to be filled, with each their caption and text:]
:or uic graduates, provied any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
::Name which one
::Email forget it
::Education Riding the L all night long

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:At Baidu, Inc., you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
:[Cueball sits at a computer.]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-screen voice: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:[The last three panels has their own title text, only active within a frame that could contain all three panel. Outside that "frame" (all the way around) is the other title text. Within the title text is: "The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33."]

:[Small insert panel, going in above the next larger panel: Cueball stares at the screen.]
:''Kzzzt''
:''*bip*''
:Off-screen voice: Uh oh.

:[A giant dog looks down at the desk where the computer once was, now only the wires are left. Cueball, leaning way back in his office chair, holding his hand to his mouth, stares up at it.]

:[Again a smaller insert panel above the large one with the dog. A graphic showing two sliders and a dog (similar to the one in the previous panel). Next to the dog with arrows pointing to it are a thermometer graphic and an equation. Below is an e-mail type text and finally a caption. There are arrows over and under "God" and "dogs" between the g and d's.]
:d(x)=R
:careers@baidu, Inc.
:'''Play God with dogs.'''TM

==Trivia==
*This is the first [[xkcd]] comic with [[:Category:Multiple title texts|multiple title texts]], the others being [[1663: Garden]] and [[3074: Push Notifications]]
*At one point, this comic looked blank entirely. However, in January 2024, the bug was fixed.
*The gap between this [[:Category:Dynamic comics|dynamic comic]] and the previous one was only a week, being the shortest gap between dynamic comics in all of xkcd. However, one of the title texts confirms that this was the April Fool's Day comic and not [[1190: Time]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dogs]]
[[Category:Roomba]]
[[Category:Butterfly net]]
[[Category:Singularity]]
[[Category:Multiple title texts]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

Talk:3260: Messi

2026-06-18T22:29:56Z

YZ100:

Does Randall support Messi? [[User:SectorCorruptor|SectorCorruptor]] ([[User talk:SectorCorruptor|talk]]) 16:26, 17 June 2026 (UTC)
:Who doesn't support Messi? :D [[Special:Contributions/130.76.187.46|130.76.187.46]] 18:00, 17 June 2026 (UTC)
::He's [https://mrmen.fandom.com/wiki/Mr._Messy one of my favourites]. [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 22:29, 17 June 2026 (UTC)
::Ronaldo. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 08:22, 18 June 2026 (UTC)
:::And that's why I asked. [[User:SectorCorruptor|SectorCorruptor]] ([[User talk:SectorCorruptor|talk]]) 12:27, 18 June 2026 (UTC)

New football/soccer terms for me! 2 goals scored in one game = Brace, 3 goals = Hat-trick, 4 goals = Haul, 5 goals = Glut [[User:BorQhue del Sol|BorQhue del Sol]] ([[User talk:BorQhue del Sol|talk]]) 16:58, 17 June 2026 (UTC)
:"Brace" is a general form for a 'two-fer' of something ("I shot a brace of pheasant, the other day!").
:"Hat-Trick" originally came from cricket; as a feat that earnt you a prized 'bragging rights' cap, from your team-mates, but possibly reinterpreted as you performing a magical feat (like pulling a rabbit from a hat).
:"Haul" isn't, as far as I know, specific to four things, though you may praise a "four-goal haul" (better than the already named hat-trick, but getting a "five-goal haul" would be better yet). If it's been appropriated for four-specifically, it might just be like the extension of birdie to eagle to albatross to condor in golf (seeking a new word for such a feat).
:"Glut" is a slightly derogatory everyday term, really. A "more than sufficiency". So, in a football context, either a direct complaint that someone scored far more goals against your side than was ''strictly'' necessary (in a case of being outclassed), or a tongue-in-cheek complaint that ''your'' player was now just showing off (supremacy in sport is one thing, but its rarely as much fun as barely scraping a 1-1 draw when anything but an actual loss (or goalless stalemate) isn't a threat to you comfortably staying at (or going up from) your current tier of competition, based upon prior performance and expectations. (A five-nil result, or more, doesn't usually do more to help your cause than a one-nil one, and the risks of trying too hard to get beyond three or four goals for an outclassing team (or just for a given player) are that you'll over-exert yourself, and/or use up 'all your luck'... [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 22:29, 17 June 2026 (UTC)
::Soccer fans are just too used to it being a low-scoring game. You could also win a basketball game 2-1, but I'm pretty sure viewership would drop precipitously if this became normal. Maybe all these sports should switch to a virctory point system rather than just win/loss, so players don't get complacent. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 22:42, 17 June 2026 (UTC)
::There is no official term for 7 (SEVEN) goals or more - you just spell it out in parentheses after the numeral(s). [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 15:12, 18 June 2026 (UTC)

I think the explanation on the hover text is missing the point that, at 38 years old, this is likely to be Messi's last world cup, which is another way in which the statement "last world cup in which he faces serious opposition" is technically true. {{unsigned ip|218.102.149.116|17:08, 17 June 2026 (UTC)}}

I think the curve might be exponential, referencing the "predictions" of AI future capabilities [[Special:Contributions/93.36.179.126|93.36.179.126]] 17:15, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

We should explain how there can data points in the graph with y-values between zero and one. I assume it's because a team might well play multiple games during a single tournament. —[[User:Scs|Scs]] ([[User talk:Scs|talk]]) 18:10, 17 June 2026 (UTC)
:That's obviously true. In the current format, each team plays between 3 and 8 games. During the initial group stage there are groups of 4 where each team plays the other 3. Then there are 5 single-elimination knockout rounds plus a playoff for third place between the semi-final losers. So if Messi makes it to the finals and scores 1 goal in every other game, the y-value will be 0.5. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 19:03, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

'''Messi'''est graph ever. [[Special:Contributions/64.201.132.210|64.201.132.210]] 18:34, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

I was going to update the transcript with estimated Y values of each data point. But maybe someone with a little more time and tooling could actually measure them and produce reasonably precise values. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 18:57, 17 June 2026 (UTC)
:Couldn't you just use a pixel ruler? [[User:RG|RG]] ([[User talk:RG|talk]]) 00:24, 18 June 2026 (UTC)

Updated the transcript with the goals per game values for each world cup. {{unsigned|Jhamination|19:13, 17 June 2026 (UTC)}}

Do we need a new category for improbable extrapolations? I remember one about a woman having multiple husbands because she just got married and that would mean she gets a new husband every day, and I swear there were more. [[Special:Contributions/8.53.15.117|8.53.15.117]] 20:55, 17 June 2026 (UTC)
:[[:Category:Extrapolation]] is already (as I write this, haven't checked chronology against your suggestion) given to this comic. While it ''needn't'' also be used to improbable degrees, I think that this is always an implicit possibility for those comics it is used for. [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 23:46, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

Yes! I was hoping we'd get a comic about the world cup, with some sorta XKCD twist [[User:RG|RG]] ([[User talk:RG|talk]]) 00:18, 18 June 2026 (UTC)

Error? FIFA article today says 4 goals for Messi in the 2014 World Cup!
[https://www.fifa.com/en/tournaments/mens/worldcup/articles/fifa-world-cup-all-time-leading-scorers FIFA World Cup all-time leading scorers]
Lionel Messi - Argentina
Goals: 16
World Cups: Six - 2006 (one goal), 2010 (no goals), 2014 (four goals), 2018 (one goal), 2022 (seven goals), 2026 (three goals to date)
Matches played: 27 [[Special:Contributions/81.106.93.247|81.106.93.247]] 06:31, 18 June 2026 (UTC)
:4 goals; 7 appearances = 0.57 goals per game - looks about right to me [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 08:28, 18 June 2026 (UTC)
argentina mentioned in xkcd [[Special:Contributions/186.157.103.100|186.157.103.100]] 12:12, 18 June 2026 (UTC)
:Was not on my bingo card. [[Special:Contributions/24.123.140.66|24.123.140.66]] 15:29, 18 June 2026 (UTC)

From what I calculated, the best fit exponential graph (which looks close to what was drawn on) is Goals per Game = .00397 * exp(.2546*(Years since 2000)) [[Special:Contributions/8.17.60.118|8.17.60.118]] 15:07, 18 June 2026 (UTC)
:I think there's a better fit by treating 2006+8N years as a very good (slightly rising) linear track, and 2010+8N years as the independent exponential curve. (Which means that 2030 is still a relatively 'flat' year that won't be particularly extraordinary. (But 2034 will still be ''amazing''!) [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 19:25, 18 June 2026 (UTC)

If Randall made this before Messi played his first game in this WC, his Goal-to-Game rate would be 0/0, and depending on how 0/0 is interpreted, the growth could be LARGE. I'm an Mbappe fan by the way. GO FRANCE! [[User:YZ100|YZ100]] 22:29, 18 June 2026 (UTC)

3260: Messi

2026-06-18T22:26:25Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 3260
| date = June 17, 2026
| title = Messi
| image = messi_2x.png
| imagesize = 393x343px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Commentators agree that this will probably be the last World Cup in which Messi faces serious competition.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created in Lionel Messi's 398th goal. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
In the vein of [[605: Extrapolating]], this comic utilizes the incorrect application of extrapolation to produce a ridiculous result. Extrapolation is a form of estimation in which existing data points are used to estimate new data points beyond the range of the existing ones. In this case, [[Randall]] has taken a few data points regarding soccer superstar {{w|Lionel Messi}}'s average goals per game during {{w|FIFA_World_Cup|World Cup}} editions and fit them to a curve using what appears to be polynomial or exponential {{w|extrapolation}}. It illustrates the danger of a small {{w|sample size}}, as the data point for "2026 (so far)" is based on only ''one'' game (the day before this comic, in his inaugural game of the 2026 World Cup, Messi scored three goals against Algeria), and that data point is used to support extrapolation of a rapidly rising number of goals-per-game into the future. The data points for previous World Cups, which bounce around among various values but are all less than or equal to 1.0, are each based on more games, but still pretty small numbers, since Messi made only between three and seven appearances during those World Cups. The results are also likely affected by the nature of the competition's progression, as in the {{w|tournament#group stage|group stage}} a strong team such as Argentina ({{w|FIFA Men's World Ranking|ranked number one}} in the world going into the World Cup) may be expected to score more goals against their randomly-selected opponents (none of whom are in the top 20) than in later stages of the competition where their opponents have overcome other teams in ''their'' groups to be there.

Additionally, the extrapolation pays no attention to the typical career shape of a football player, which would generally tend to show an improvement from youth into their prime playing years, followed by a decline, which can often be quite steep, as they age out. Nor does it allow for variations in the strength of the Argentina team impacting the number of goals Messi is able to score. If the trend shown were extrapolated into the 2050s, it would imply that, far from declining, Messi would be scoring multiple goals per second, which would be impossible in real life.{{Citation needed}}

The claim in the title text that this World Cup is the last one in which Messi will face serious competition is likely true, but not in the sense that the extrapolation might suggest. That implies that in future World Cups Messi would theoretically score hundreds of goals per game, likely eclipsing any other player's scoring rate. It may even be suggesting that, on his own and regardless of the rest of his team, his ability can triumph over any other national team fielded in the World Cup. In reality, he will likely face no opposition as this is almost certainly Messi's last World Cup, period.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[A graph is shown, with 1 axis having the numbers 1, 2, & 3 going up it, and the other having 24 unlabelled marks. There are 6 points on the graph itself, with them being labelled 2006 (.33), 2010 (0), 2014 (.57), 2018 (.25), 2022 (1), and 2026 (3), the latter having '(so far)' under it. There is a grey dotted curve going up exponentially.]
:[Title of graph]:
:<big>Lionel Messi</big> World Cup goals per game
:[Caption below text:]
:At this rate, by 2040 Lionel Messi will be scoring hundreds of goals per game.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Extrapolation]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Math]]

2386: Ten Years

2026-06-16T18:57:26Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 2386
| date = November 16, 2020
| title = Ten Years
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = ten_years.png
| titletext = The ten-year cancerversary is traditionally the Cursed Artifact Granting Immortality anniversary.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]]'s then-fiancée, now wife was diagnosed with cancer in late 2010. This is a matter he has discussed in the comic [[:Category:Cancer|multiple times before]], with Randall being depicted as Cueball and his wife as Megan. At this comic's release, it had been 10 years since her diagnosis and treatments.

This comic is a continuation of [[1141: Two Years]] and [[1928: Seven Years]], which are shown in the first 16 panels, slightly grayed out. This series later continued with [[3172: Fifteen Years]].

The first of the new panels shows Randall and his wife at a "Rabbit Rescue", interacting with buns ([[:Category:Buns|a recurring theme]] of xkcd). The purpose of such events is to get rescued (often surrendered or seized) rabbits or other animals used to interacting with each other and with unfamiliar humans under controlled circumstances, to help them be more suitable as pets and hopefully entice visitors to adopt them. Randall facetiously asks his wife if she thinks the rabbits have socialized enough, even though he and his wife are there for the sake of their own enjoyment (and she indicates that she would like to spend more time patting a bunny on its head).

In the next panel, Randall is pushing his wife in a handcart, which is presumably stolen. (As evidenced by the off-panel person asking if anybody has seen the handcart.)

The third new panel shows Randall and his wife exploring a mountain. They appear to have found something interesting, due to Megan pointing her finger towards something off-panel. It appears to be a reference to a similar climbing scene from [[1190: Time]].

The fourth panel shows Randall and his wife sitting on the edge of a pier, looking at the night sky. This is a typical romantic nighttime activity. The panel is distinguished because there was considerably more effort put into the drawing of this panel than of the other panels, by virtue of it being nighttime.

The final new panels show Randall and his wife sitting on a hill, talking about how they couldn't believe that she would make it to 10 years cancer-free, which according to [[881: Probability]] wasn't all that certain (77% probability -- [[2379: Probability Comparisons|the probability of picking an M&M out of a bag at random and getting one that isn't blue]]). Randall's wife voices a concern that she had seemingly been carrying for a while, that she was a burden to Randall, and explains that she couldn't understand why he would marry her, except as a show of grace. Randall firmly rejects this notion, stating that it was no mere gesture, but that it was important to him that they enjoy "whatever time we could have".

Finally, and as with the first comic in the series, the comic takes a light-hearted turn: because the table does not include values for probability of survival more than ten years after treatment, Randall's wife jokingly concludes that she is now immortal, perhaps thanks to a cursed artifact. Many anniversaries are traditionally marked by giving gifts, such as the {{w|silver jubilee}} after twenty-five years of marriage (or of a monarch's reign, or an employee's seniority within a company, or anything else). The tenth anniversary is traditionally associated with a tin gift (tin being a much more precious metal [https://www.bartleby.com/95/22.html in 1922] than it is today), but maybe Randall bought it at [[2376: Curbside|a cursed shop]].

The title-text expands on this final joke, as it suggests that there is an official name for this giving of cursed artifacts once the ten-year mark has passed. Also, it seems as though Randall has finally found [[1141: Two Years| a less-gross name]] for this anniversary than "biopsy-versary".

Cursed artifacts that cannot die were also mentioned in [[2332: Cursed Chair]].

==Transcript==
:'''From [[1141: Two Years]]'''
:[Randall (drawn as Cueball) and Randall's fiancée (drawn as Megan) sit on a bed, Randall's fiancée is talking on the phone. The person she is talking to, a doctor holding a clipboard, is shown inset.]
:Randall's fiancée: Oh god.

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit together while Randall's fiancée, now bald, is receiving chemotherapy. They are both on their laptops.]
:IV pump: ... Beeep ... Beeep ... Beeep ...

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée (who is wearing a knit cap) are paddling a kayak against a scenic mountain backdrop.]

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit at a table, staring at a cell phone. There is a clock on the wall. Her head is stubbly.]
:Randall's fiancée: How long can it take to read a scan!?

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée are back at the hospital again, Randall's fiancée receiving chemo. They are playing Scrabble.]
:Randall: "Zarg" isn't a word.
:Randall's fiancée: But ''caaaancer.''
:Randall: ...Ok, fine.

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée (wearing a knit cap) are listening to a Cueball-like friend. A large thought bubble is above their heads and it obscures the friends talk. The text below, split in three is the only part there can be no doubt about:]
:Friend: So next year you should come visit us up in the mounta
::a
::and
:Randall and Randall's fiancée (thinking): '''"Next year"'''

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée are getting married, with a heart above their heads. Randall's wife's hair is growing back.]

:[Randall and Randall's wife (wearing a knit cap) stand on a beach, watching a whale jump out of water.]
:''Fwoosh''

:'''From [[1928: Seven Years]]'''

:[Randall and Randall's wife (with her hair noticeably longer) are walking through a forest.]

:[Randall's wife is sitting down, not in the forest anymore.]
:Randall's wife: My toe hurts and I found a report of a case in which toe pain was an early sign of cancer spreading.
:Randall: Wait—didn’t you stub your toe yesterday?
:Randall's wife: Yes, but what if this is unrelated?

:[Randall and his wife are going spelunking. The guide is gesturing deeper into the cave while Randall and his wife are climbing down.]

:[Randall's wife stands on a rock above an alligator in a swamp, photographing the alligator. Randall is on a balcony behind safety railings.]
:Randall: When they estimated your survival odds, I think they made some optimistic assumptions about your hobbies.

:[Randall's wife sits on an examination bed, listening to a doctor holding a clipboard.]
:Doctor: This is probably nothing.
:Doctor: But given your history, we should do a full scan.
:Doctor: We'll call with the results in a few days. Try not to worry about it until then!

:[Randall and his wife stand above a deep pond full of fish and other objects. Randall's wife is piloting a wired underwater camera with lights.]

:[Randall and his wife are standing next to each other. Randall's wife has shoulder-length hair covering most of her face.]
:Randall's wife: Hard to believe—six years ago, I was bald. But today, after a long struggle, I finally look like the little girl from ''The Ring''.
:Randall: That's, uhh... good?
:Randall's wife: ''Hissssss''

:[A line of six people, including Randall and his wife, stand and watch the solar eclipse.]

'''New to [[2386: Ten Years]]''':
:[Randall and his wife are sitting in a room with five bunnies sitting around and on them. The Poster on the wall reads: Rabbit rescue.]
:Randall: Do you think they're socialized enough?
:Randall's wife: This one might need one more head pat.

:[Randall is running and pushing his wife on a hand cart.]
:Someone off-panel: Has anyone seen the hand cart?
:Randall's wife: Wheee!

:[Randall and his wife walks up hill with snowy mountains near by and in the background. his wife is gesturing to something ahead of them.]

:[A large dark panel, to the right of the previous three, to the left in two rows. Randall and his wife sits, leaning back on their hands looking up, at the end of a pier going into a lake. The end is broader and they sit to each side of the middle of the pier. It is night and behind the lake there is a forest of pine trees. Above the three is a clear starlit night sky with hundreds of stars and the band of the Milky Way clearly visible. The trees and some of the stars are reflected in the water of the lake, distorted by the movements of the water.]

:[Randall is sitting on a grassy field, a bit higher than his wife who lies on her back looking up.]
:Randall: You did it.
:Randall: Ten years.
:Randall's wife: It doesn't seem real.

:[Zoom in on Randall's wife, who is not longer lying down.]
:Randall's wife: When they showed me my 10-year survival chart, I really didn't believe I would make it here.
:Randall's wife: I don't understand why you married me when it looked so bad.
:Randall's wife: But it was very sweet.

:[In a frame-less panel Randall is standing in front of his wife, who is sitting on the ground, arm leaning on her bent knees.]
:Randall: You make it sound like an act of grace, and not something I desperately wanted to do and was worried I wouldn't get to.
:Randall: You're the coolest person I've ever met. I just wanted whatever time we could have.

:[Same setting but seen from a distance and in silhouette. Randall's wife has lifted her fist towards the sky, and it seems like Randall has turned away from her looking up.]
:Randall's wife: Well, good news, my hideous and inexplicable existence continues unabated! Take that, Biology!
:Randall's wife: You failed to kill me and now I can never die!
:Randall: Is... that how it works?
:Randall's wife: It was in the fine print on the chart.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:X Years]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Doctor Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Solar eclipses]]
[[Category:Total Solar Eclipse 2017]]
[[Category:Buns]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics with cursed items]] 
[[Category:Characters with hats]]
[[Category:Video games]]

3172: Fifteen Years

2026-06-16T18:50:32Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 3172
| date = November 24, 2025
| title = Fifteen Years
| image = fifteen_years_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x2623px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "Want to feel old?" "Yes."
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]]'s then-fiancée (now wife) was diagnosed with cancer in late 2010. This is a matter he has discussed in the comic [[:Category:Cancer|multiple times before]], with [[Randall]] being depicted as [[Cueball]] and his wife as [[Megan]]. At this comic's release, it had been 15 years since her diagnosis and treatments.

This comic continues previous comics in [[:Category:X Years|the series]] – [[1141: Two Years]], [[1928: Seven Years]], and [[2386: Ten Years]] – the initial parts of which are shown in the first 20 panels, which are grayed-out. These take us through the initial diagnosis and inability to imagine what the future might be, into concerns about the illness potentially recurring, and up to enjoying ten years of life together that they weren't sure they would have.

After some new panels marking more significant non-cancer-related events from the most recent five years of their life, Megan announces some potentially concerning-sounding symptoms she's experiencing. However, the punchline is that these are just the signs of growing old, which Cueball is experiencing too. This is good news, considering the serious medical scares they lived through.

The title text continues that ending with a play on a common conversation topic. Normally someone rhetorically asks "Want to feel old?" and then follows it with a description of a difference the conversants have with the younger generation, or how long it's been since some significant event they both experienced, as Randall has done in [[:Category:Comics to make one feel old|several previous comics]]. This is meant to make the other person feel bad about their age. In this case, though, the question is taken literally, with a simple "Yes" response to indicate that feeling old is better than being dead and they are happy to be alive and to have had the time they have.

The finality of this new installment suggests that it may be the last in the series, as it is solely related to Randall's wife's recovery from cancer.

===The new panels===

The first of the new panels shows Randall and his wife in bed, with Randall reading her {{w|Tove Jansson}}'s ''{{w|Moominland Midwinter}}''. He wants to stop because they need to get to sleep, she convinces him to read one more chapter. It didn't take much arm-twisting, her argument was simply a grunt. The choice of this particular book, which deals with the adventures of someone who should really be sleeping, might be meaningful for one or more of several reasons.

The next panel appears to depict the {{w|Covid-19 pandemic}}. [[Hairy]], Megan, Cueball, [[Ponytail]], and [[White Hat]] are all wearing masks (notably, their masks wrap around their heads instead of ears as [[xkcd]] characters do not have ears) and looking at graphs showing the progression of the virus. Happily, they both survived this.

The next panel shows them feeding birds. It's apparently winter, since Randall is wearing a knit cap and they're both wearing scarves. There are three birds around Randall, including one perched on his head; there's one bird that has landed on Megan's phone. Randall concludes that the birds like his birdseed more than hers. Megan can't figure out how to take a picture of her bird, since the phone's camera can't be pointed at the phone itself.

The next panel shows them on a kayaking expedition in a pond or river surrounded by cattails and a dense forest. They're kayaking past lily pads and turtles, with clear skies and birds above.

The next panel shows Randall in a bed, recovering from appendicitis. He has previously mentioned getting an appendectomy in [[2508: Circumappendiceal Somectomy]], in August, 2021. His wife is enjoying the shoe being on the other foot, going overboard taking care of him after a major medical procedure, but Randall tries to downplay the severity of his procedure.

The next four panels show them driving. They notice something, pull over, and get out of the car. The panel after this shows them viewing a spectacular {{w|aurora borealis}}. 2025 has been a {{w|solar maximum}}, producing a number of auroras that have been visible at unusually low latitudes, including Massachusetts, where Randall lives.

The final four panels show them sitting and talking in a field. Randall is lying down, his wife is sitting against a tree. They're celebrating her being cancer-free 15 years after her diagnosis and enjoying growing old together.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[The panels from the older strips are presented in gray.]

'''From [[1141: Two Years]]'''
:[Randall (drawn as Cueball) and Randall's fiancée (drawn as Megan) sit on a bed, Randall's fiancée is talking on the phone. The person she is talking to, a doctor holding a clipboard, is shown inset.]
:Randall's fiancée: Oh god.

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit together while Randall's fiancée, now bald, is receiving chemotherapy. They are both on their laptops.]
:IV pump: ... Beeep ... Beeep ... Beeep ...

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée (who is wearing a knit cap) are paddling a kayak against a scenic mountain backdrop.]

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit at a table, staring at a cell phone. There is a clock on the wall. Her head is stubbly.]
:Randall's fiancée: How long can it take to read a scan!?

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée are back at the hospital again, Randall's fiancée receiving chemo. They are playing Scrabble.]
:Randall: "Zarg" isn't a word.
:Randall's fiancée: But ''caaaancer.''
:Randall: ...Ok, fine.

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée (wearing a knit cap) are listening to a Cueball-like friend. A large thought bubble is above their heads and it obscures the friends talk. The text below, split in three is the only part there can be no doubt about:]
:Friend: So next year you should come visit us up in the mounta
::ea
::and
:Randall and Randall's fiancée (thinking): '''"Next year"'''

:[Randall and Randall's fiancée are getting married, with a heart above their heads. Randall's wife's hair is growing back.]

:[Randall and Randall's wife (wearing a knit cap) stand on a beach, watching a whale jump out of water.]
:''Fwoosh''

'''From [[1928: Seven Years]]'''

:[Randall and Randall's wife (with her hair noticeably longer) are walking through a forest.]

:[Randall's wife is sitting down, not in the forest anymore.]
:Randall's wife: My toe hurts and I found a report of a case in which toe pain was an early sign of cancer spreading.
:Randall: Wait—didn’t you stub your toe yesterday?
:Randall's wife: Yes, but what if this is unrelated?

:[Randall and his wife are going spelunking. The guide is gesturing deeper into the cave while Randall and his wife are climbing down.]

:[Randall's wife stands on a rock above an alligator in a swamp, photographing the alligator. Randall is on a balcony behind safety railings.]
:Randall: When they estimated your survival odds, I think they made some optimistic assumptions about your hobbies.

:[Randall's wife sits on an examination bed, listening to a doctor holding a clipboard.]
:Doctor: This is probably nothing.
:Doctor: But given your history, we should do a full scan.
:Doctor: We'll call with the results in a few days. Try not to worry about it until then!

:[Randall and his wife stand above a deep pond full of fish and other objects. Randall's wife is piloting a wired underwater camera with lights.]

:[Randall and his wife are standing next to each other. Randall's wife has shoulder-length hair covering most of her face.]
:Randall's wife: Hard to believe—six years ago, I was bald. But today, after a long struggle, I finally look like the little girl from ''The Ring''.
:Randall: That's, uhh... good?
:Randall's wife: ''Hissssss''

:[A line of six people, including Randall and his wife, stand and watch the solar eclipse.]

'''From [[2386: Ten Years]]''':
:[Randall and his wife are sitting in a room with five bunnies sitting around and on them. The Poster on the wall reads: Rabbit rescue.]
:Randall: Do you think they're socialized enough?
:Randall's wife: This one might need one more head pat.

:[Randall is running and pushing his wife on a hand cart.]
:Someone off-panel: Has anyone seen the hand cart?
:Randall's wife: Wheee!

:[Randall and his wife walks up hill with snowy mountains near by and in the background. his wife is gesturing to something ahead of them.]

:[A large dark panel, to the right of the previous three, to the left in two rows. Randall and his wife sits, leaning back on their hands looking up, at the end of a pier going into a lake. The end is broader and they sit to each side of the middle of the pier. It is night and behind the lake there is a forest of pine trees. Above the three is a clear starlit night sky with hundreds of stars and the band of the Milky Way clearly visible. The trees and some of the stars are reflected in the water of the lake, distorted by the movements of the water. There is a box with the words "Ten Years" in the center of the image.]

'''[From here to the end of the strip are new panels, drawn in the usual black rather than grayed out, except one panel drawn in inverted color.]'''

:[Randall and his wife are cuddling in their bed together. Randall is presumably reading from the book he is holding in his hand, {{w|Moominland Midwinter}}.]
:Randall's wife: One more chapter?
:Randall: Don't we both have to get up early tomorrow?
:Randall's wife: ''Nnnnnggggh''
:Randall: Sure, good point.

:[Randall and his wife are walking through a city. In the background is Hairy, Ponytail, and White Hat. Everyone is wearing a face mask and looking on their cellphones. On the phone are various graphs of COVID-19 statistics.]]

:[Randall is wearing a beanie and a scarf, while his wife is wearing a matching scarf. Randall is holding out his hand to feed birds birdseed, while his wife is holding a cellphone with a bird on it.]
:Randall: Hah! They like '''''my''''' seeds best.
:Randall's wife: Wait, how do I take a picture of this one?

:[Randall and his wife are kayaking in a river. There are 3 fluffy clouds in the sky and 6 birds. A forest grows on the riverbank, which is partially covered by reeds. There are lily pads on the river and a small turtle is on one of them.]

:[Randall is lying in bed with his head propped up by 3 pillows, facing his wife. She is holding a large pile of items in her hands: a takeout box, a pillow, two blankets, a pill box, and a mug.]
:Randall's wife: I brought you honey lemon tea, more pillows, a cinnamon roll, Tylenol, another blanket, a—
:Randall: It was just appendicitis, I'm really—
:Randall's wife: '''It is my turn to take care of you and I'm going to do it right!'''

:[Randall and his wife are sitting in their car, still and in shock. Randall is in the driver's seat.]::

:[Randall and his wife are still sitting in the same position in their car.]
:Randall's wife: Oh my god.
:Randall: Oh my god.

:[The car is moving quickly and gravel can be seen bouncing up behind the car, as well as exhaust.]
:Randall's wife: Pull over!
:Randall: I am!

:[The car has been parked and Randall and his wife are scrambling to get out of the car.]

:[Randall and his wife are standing by the edge of a lake. The color is inverted, with the background geography black and their bodies white. A beautiful aurora of reds and greens is spread across the night sky.]

:[Randall's wife is leaning against a tree and Randall is lying down on the grass looking up towards the sky.]
:Randall's wife: Fifteen years. No sign of the cancer.

:[Zoom in of Randall's wife's face.]
:Randall's wife: I '''''am''''' having some weird symptoms. Joint pain. Fatigue. I think I'm losing my close-up vision.
:Off panel voice: Yeah. Me too.

:[Zoom out, back to the original panel with the tree on the hill. Randall's wife is facing down towards Randall.]
:Randall: I think we're getting old.

:[Randall's wife is looking forward again.]
:Randall's wife: I guess that's okay.
:Randall: It's all I wanted.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:X Years]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Solar eclipses]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]]
[[Category:Comics featuring face masks]]
[[Category:Aurora]]
[[Category:Doctor Ponytail]]
[[Category:Romance]]

Title text

2026-06-16T18:37:47Z

YZ100: /* History */

<noinclude>{{xkcd.com}}[[File:xkcd_comic.png|thumb|right|250px|The [[Design of xkcd.com#Comic section|Comic section]] is one of the [[Design of xkcd.com|four main sections]] of the [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com] website.]]{{TOC}}[[File:tt.png|right|thumb|The title text for [[2760: Paleontology Museum]]]]
{{incomplete|
* Explain the use of title texts in the images of his ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' articles (explained [[what if? (blog)|here]]) and how the use changed from describing the image to adding jokes.}}
The '''title text''', also known as {{w|mouseover|mouseover text}} or {{w|tooltip}}, is an {{w|HTML attribute}} [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] puts on [[:Category:No title text|almost every xkcd comic]] to add something tangentially relevant to the topic of the comic. In some of the early comics, the title text was also used to comment on how they were drawn (see [[24: Godel, Escher, Kurt Halsey]]) and explain the joke (see [[5: Blown apart]]). In [[:Category:No title text|a few comics]], the title text is missing. The comic with the longest title text is [[1363: xkcd Phone]] (816 characters), while [[1311: 2014]] has the title text with the highest word count (134 words).

==How to access==
{{Quote|[T]o my knowledge none of the comics were ever missing a tooltip. It's all in a database (overbuilt, I know) and I think I would have noticed an empty field. More likely someone was just confused by their browser's erratic tooltip display behavior. Sometimes you have to do little incantations (or mouse over a link and then back onto the picture) to get them to appear.|[[Randall Munroe]]|{{w|Talk:Xkcd/Archive_1#All but one...|Source}}}}

Then title text can be accessed in many ways:
* By hovering the mouse pointer over the image on the main site;
* By clicking or tapping the "(alt-text)" button next to the comic title on the [https://m.xkcd.com mobile site];
* By viewing the [[Transcript|official transcript]] of the comics;
* By installing a [[Browser helpers|browser helper]];
* By opening the info.0.json file, for example [http://xkcd.com/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/info.0.json], [http://xkcd.com/485/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/485/info.0.json] or [http://xkcd.com/412/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/412/info.0.json]

==History==
Randall didn't add title texts to his comics before [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com], but most of the comics posted on [[LiveJournal]] had an original caption beneath the image, and many had comments by LiveJournal users. All the comics transferred to the new site had a title text, which was often along the same lines, but was almost never the same as the caption on LiveJournal. Learn more at [[LiveJournal]].

Randall uses the "title" attribute rather than the {{w|Alternative text for images|"alt" attribute}} in the HTML sources. In the [https://xkcd.com/rss.xml comics feed] and [https://xkcd.com/info.0.json API data] the "alt text" is labelled "alt". Randall has, at times, refer to "alt text", with one early comic example being the title text of [[45: Schrodinger]], though that can equally be read as refering to the accompanying "alt=" parameter given to the image, "Schrodinger", as far as the implied joke goes. In [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], the title text reads "I love the title-text!" as a part of the song, being one of the instances where Randall calls it "title text." However, he includes a hyphen as well.

In [[xkcd: volume 0]], comics sometimes use a different title text, like how in [[77: Bored with the Internet]], "This was before Twitter et. al. Now we just post while doing it." is the book's title text rather than the original title text: "I used to do this all the time."

===Firefox bug===
{{w|Firefox 2}} used to have a long-standing bug where only the initial part of the title text was shown as a tooltip. Firefox didn't show you the rest of the text unless you right-clicked show-property, and you would be able to see a sideways scrollable field of the title-text in the properties for the image. This bug was referenced in the title text of [[491: Twitter]] ("If long tooltips / cut off for you / then upgrade from / Firefox 2 / Burma Shave") and is still mentioned in [https://xkcd.com/about xkcd.com's About page]:

{{Quote|<big>'''Why can't I read the whole comic mouseover text in Firefox?'''</big>

''They can be read with extensions like [https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/1715/ Long Titles], or by right-clicking on the images and going to 'properties', then clicking and dragging to read the whole thing. This is a bug in [https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id{{=}}45375 Firefox, Mozilla Bug #45375]. It has been outstanding for many years now.

''Note: It looks like it's been fixed in Firefox 3.0. Now, as an added tweak, to keep the tooltips from expiring while you're reading, you can use [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/11233 this].|[[Randall Munroe]]|[https://xkcd.com/about About xkcd]}}

==Comics without a title text==
While most comics have one title text, some extra comics have [[:Category:No title text|no title text]]. In addition, [[404: Not Found]] lacks a title text due to delivering the standard {{w|Nginx}} "Page Not Found" message that does not even have any image to conceivably have an associated title text applied to it. [[1506: xkcloud]] is the first numbered comic other than [[404: Not Found]] to lack a title text, as certain interactive comics beyond number 1500 use a different format, removing the ability to add mouseover text. [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]] and [[1608: Hoverboard]] also have no title text. Due to a bug in the JavaScript in [[3227: Creation]], the title text disappears while on Stained Glass Mode. It is also impossible to access the title text when on that comic's Airplane Mode, because the comic flies too quickly.

==Comics with multiple title texts==
Sometimes a comic can have [[:Category:Multiple title texts|more than one title text]]. [[1193: Externalities]] was the first to have more than one title text, changing through the panels. [[1663: Garden]] also had multiple title texts. In addition to the main one (which said "Relax."), there are two different title texts for the two buttons, and one other one saying "null." In [[3074: Push Notifications]], in addition to the main title text (like in [[1663: Garden|1663]]), there is an extra one when you hover over the cat, reading ":3".

[[Category:Design of xkcd.com]]{{xkcdmeta}}

Title text

2026-06-16T18:37:08Z

YZ100:

<noinclude>{{xkcd.com}}[[File:xkcd_comic.png|thumb|right|250px|The [[Design of xkcd.com#Comic section|Comic section]] is one of the [[Design of xkcd.com|four main sections]] of the [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com] website.]]{{TOC}}[[File:tt.png|right|thumb|The title text for [[2760: Paleontology Museum]]]]
{{incomplete|
* Explain the use of title texts in the images of his ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' articles (explained [[what if? (blog)|here]]) and how the use changed from describing the image to adding jokes.}}
The '''title text''', also known as {{w|mouseover|mouseover text}} or {{w|tooltip}}, is an {{w|HTML attribute}} [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] puts on [[:Category:No title text|almost every xkcd comic]] to add something tangentially relevant to the topic of the comic. In some of the early comics, the title text was also used to comment on how they were drawn (see [[24: Godel, Escher, Kurt Halsey]]) and explain the joke (see [[5: Blown apart]]). In [[:Category:No title text|a few comics]], the title text is missing. The comic with the longest title text is [[1363: xkcd Phone]] (816 characters), while [[1311: 2014]] has the title text with the highest word count (134 words).

==How to access==
{{Quote|[T]o my knowledge none of the comics were ever missing a tooltip. It's all in a database (overbuilt, I know) and I think I would have noticed an empty field. More likely someone was just confused by their browser's erratic tooltip display behavior. Sometimes you have to do little incantations (or mouse over a link and then back onto the picture) to get them to appear.|[[Randall Munroe]]|{{w|Talk:Xkcd/Archive_1#All but one...|Source}}}}

Then title text can be accessed in many ways:
* By hovering the mouse pointer over the image on the main site;
* By clicking or tapping the "(alt-text)" button next to the comic title on the [https://m.xkcd.com mobile site];
* By viewing the [[Transcript|official transcript]] of the comics;
* By installing a [[Browser helpers|browser helper]];
* By opening the info.0.json file, for example [http://xkcd.com/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/info.0.json], [http://xkcd.com/485/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/485/info.0.json] or [http://xkcd.com/412/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/412/info.0.json]

==History==
Randall didn't add title texts to his comics before [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com], but most of the comics posted on [[LiveJournal]] had an original caption beneath the image, and many had comments by LiveJournal users. All the comics transferred to the new site had a title text, which was often along the same lines, but was almost never the same as the caption on LiveJournal. Learn more at [[LiveJournal]].

Randall uses the "title" attribute rather than the {{w|Alternative text for images|"alt" attribute}} in the HTML sources. In the [https://xkcd.com/rss.xml comics feed] and [https://xkcd.com/info.0.json API data] the "alt text" is labelled "alt". Randall has, at times, refer to "alt text", with one early comic example being the title text of [[45: Schrodinger]], though that can equally be read as refering to the accompanying "alt=" parameter given to the image, "Schrodinger", as far as the implied joke goes. In [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], the title text reads "I love the title-text!" as a part of the song, being one of the instances where Randall calls it "title text." However, he includes a hyphen as well.

===Firefox bug===
{{w|Firefox 2}} used to have a long-standing bug where only the initial part of the title text was shown as a tooltip. Firefox didn't show you the rest of the text unless you right-clicked show-property, and you would be able to see a sideways scrollable field of the title-text in the properties for the image. This bug was referenced in the title text of [[491: Twitter]] ("If long tooltips / cut off for you / then upgrade from / Firefox 2 / Burma Shave") and is still mentioned in [https://xkcd.com/about xkcd.com's About page]:

{{Quote|<big>'''Why can't I read the whole comic mouseover text in Firefox?'''</big>

''They can be read with extensions like [https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/1715/ Long Titles], or by right-clicking on the images and going to 'properties', then clicking and dragging to read the whole thing. This is a bug in [https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id{{=}}45375 Firefox, Mozilla Bug #45375]. It has been outstanding for many years now.

''Note: It looks like it's been fixed in Firefox 3.0. Now, as an added tweak, to keep the tooltips from expiring while you're reading, you can use [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/11233 this].|[[Randall Munroe]]|[https://xkcd.com/about About xkcd]}}

In [[xkcd: volume 0]], comics sometimes use a different title text, like how in [[77: Bored with the Internet]], "This was before Twitter et. al. Now we just post while doing it." is the book's title text rather than the original title text: "I used to do this all the time."

==Comics without a title text==
While most comics have one title text, some extra comics have [[:Category:No title text|no title text]]. In addition, [[404: Not Found]] lacks a title text due to delivering the standard {{w|Nginx}} "Page Not Found" message that does not even have any image to conceivably have an associated title text applied to it. [[1506: xkcloud]] is the first numbered comic other than [[404: Not Found]] to lack a title text, as certain interactive comics beyond number 1500 use a different format, removing the ability to add mouseover text. [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]] and [[1608: Hoverboard]] also have no title text. Due to a bug in the JavaScript in [[3227: Creation]], the title text disappears while on Stained Glass Mode. It is also impossible to access the title text when on that comic's Airplane Mode, because the comic flies too quickly.

==Comics with multiple title texts==
Sometimes a comic can have [[:Category:Multiple title texts|more than one title text]]. [[1193: Externalities]] was the first to have more than one title text, changing through the panels. [[1663: Garden]] also had multiple title texts. In addition to the main one (which said "Relax."), there are two different title texts for the two buttons, and one other one saying "null." In [[3074: Push Notifications]], in addition to the main title text (like in [[1663: Garden|1663]]), there is an extra one when you hover over the cat, reading ":3".

[[Category:Design of xkcd.com]]{{xkcdmeta}}

Title text

2026-06-16T18:36:47Z

YZ100: /* History */

<noinclude>{{xkcd.com}}[[File:xkcd_comic.png|thumb|right|250px|The [[Design of xkcd.com#Comic section|Comic section]] is one of the [[Design of xkcd.com|four main sections]] of the [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com] website.]]{{TOC}}[[File:tt.png|right|thumb|The title text for [[2760: Paleontology Museum]]]]
{{incomplete|
* Explain that in the book [[xkcd: volume 0]], comics sometimes include a different title text.

* Explain the use of title texts in the images of his ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' articles (explained [[what if? (blog)|here]]) and how the use changed from describing the image to adding jokes.}}
The '''title text''', also known as {{w|mouseover|mouseover text}} or {{w|tooltip}}, is an {{w|HTML attribute}} [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] puts on [[:Category:No title text|almost every xkcd comic]] to add something tangentially relevant to the topic of the comic. In some of the early comics, the title text was also used to comment on how they were drawn (see [[24: Godel, Escher, Kurt Halsey]]) and explain the joke (see [[5: Blown apart]]). In [[:Category:No title text|a few comics]], the title text is missing. The comic with the longest title text is [[1363: xkcd Phone]] (816 characters), while [[1311: 2014]] has the title text with the highest word count (134 words).

==How to access==
{{Quote|[T]o my knowledge none of the comics were ever missing a tooltip. It's all in a database (overbuilt, I know) and I think I would have noticed an empty field. More likely someone was just confused by their browser's erratic tooltip display behavior. Sometimes you have to do little incantations (or mouse over a link and then back onto the picture) to get them to appear.|[[Randall Munroe]]|{{w|Talk:Xkcd/Archive_1#All but one...|Source}}}}

Then title text can be accessed in many ways:
* By hovering the mouse pointer over the image on the main site;
* By clicking or tapping the "(alt-text)" button next to the comic title on the [https://m.xkcd.com mobile site];
* By viewing the [[Transcript|official transcript]] of the comics;
* By installing a [[Browser helpers|browser helper]];
* By opening the info.0.json file, for example [http://xkcd.com/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/info.0.json], [http://xkcd.com/485/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/485/info.0.json] or [http://xkcd.com/412/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/412/info.0.json]

==History==
Randall didn't add title texts to his comics before [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com], but most of the comics posted on [[LiveJournal]] had an original caption beneath the image, and many had comments by LiveJournal users. All the comics transferred to the new site had a title text, which was often along the same lines, but was almost never the same as the caption on LiveJournal. Learn more at [[LiveJournal]].

Randall uses the "title" attribute rather than the {{w|Alternative text for images|"alt" attribute}} in the HTML sources. In the [https://xkcd.com/rss.xml comics feed] and [https://xkcd.com/info.0.json API data] the "alt text" is labelled "alt". Randall has, at times, refer to "alt text", with one early comic example being the title text of [[45: Schrodinger]], though that can equally be read as refering to the accompanying "alt=" parameter given to the image, "Schrodinger", as far as the implied joke goes. In [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], the title text reads "I love the title-text!" as a part of the song, being one of the instances where Randall calls it "title text." However, he includes a hyphen as well.

===Firefox bug===
{{w|Firefox 2}} used to have a long-standing bug where only the initial part of the title text was shown as a tooltip. Firefox didn't show you the rest of the text unless you right-clicked show-property, and you would be able to see a sideways scrollable field of the title-text in the properties for the image. This bug was referenced in the title text of [[491: Twitter]] ("If long tooltips / cut off for you / then upgrade from / Firefox 2 / Burma Shave") and is still mentioned in [https://xkcd.com/about xkcd.com's About page]:

{{Quote|<big>'''Why can't I read the whole comic mouseover text in Firefox?'''</big>

''They can be read with extensions like [https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/1715/ Long Titles], or by right-clicking on the images and going to 'properties', then clicking and dragging to read the whole thing. This is a bug in [https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id{{=}}45375 Firefox, Mozilla Bug #45375]. It has been outstanding for many years now.

''Note: It looks like it's been fixed in Firefox 3.0. Now, as an added tweak, to keep the tooltips from expiring while you're reading, you can use [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/11233 this].|[[Randall Munroe]]|[https://xkcd.com/about About xkcd]}}

In [[xkcd: volume 0]], comics sometimes use a different title text, like how in [[77: Bored with the Internet]], "This was before Twitter et. al. Now we just post while doing it." is the book's title text rather than the original title text: "I used to do this all the time."

==Comics without a title text==
While most comics have one title text, some extra comics have [[:Category:No title text|no title text]]. In addition, [[404: Not Found]] lacks a title text due to delivering the standard {{w|Nginx}} "Page Not Found" message that does not even have any image to conceivably have an associated title text applied to it. [[1506: xkcloud]] is the first numbered comic other than [[404: Not Found]] to lack a title text, as certain interactive comics beyond number 1500 use a different format, removing the ability to add mouseover text. [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]] and [[1608: Hoverboard]] also have no title text. Due to a bug in the JavaScript in [[3227: Creation]], the title text disappears while on Stained Glass Mode. It is also impossible to access the title text when on that comic's Airplane Mode, because the comic flies too quickly.

==Comics with multiple title texts==
Sometimes a comic can have [[:Category:Multiple title texts|more than one title text]]. [[1193: Externalities]] was the first to have more than one title text, changing through the panels. [[1663: Garden]] also had multiple title texts. In addition to the main one (which said "Relax."), there are two different title texts for the two buttons, and one other one saying "null." In [[3074: Push Notifications]], in addition to the main title text (like in [[1663: Garden|1663]]), there is an extra one when you hover over the cat, reading ":3".

[[Category:Design of xkcd.com]]{{xkcdmeta}}

Category:Five-Minute Comics

2026-06-15T23:00:36Z

YZ100: Undo revision 412015 by YZ100 (talk)

The Five-Minute Comics series consists of three comics made up of quick jokes created as part of a five-minute challenge. They weren’t originally intended to be xkcd comics but were drawn in the same style. When Randall needed time to care for his wife during her cancer treatment, he used these comics to fill a week’s updates. The following week, a separate event called [[:Category:Guest Week|Guest Week]] served the same purpose, featuring five guest artists filling in for him. A fourth comic was accidentally released and later removed from xkcd, though fans had already preserved it. The series is similar to comic [[68: Five Thirty]], which also featured brief panels apparently written at 5:30 AM.

[[Category:Comic series]]

Category:Five-Minute Comics

2026-06-15T23:00:18Z

YZ100: Undo revision 412017 by YZ100 (talk)

Title text

2026-06-15T21:52:16Z

YZ100: /* Comics without a title text */

<noinclude>{{xkcd.com}}[[File:xkcd_comic.png|thumb|right|250px|The [[Design of xkcd.com#Comic section|Comic section]] is one of the [[Design of xkcd.com|four main sections]] of the [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com] website.]]{{TOC}}[[File:tt.png|right|thumb|The title text for [[2760: Paleontology Museum]]]]
{{incomplete|
* Explain that in the book [[xkcd: volume 0]], comics sometimes include a different title text.

* Explain the use of title texts in the images of his ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' articles (explained [[what if? (blog)|here]]) and how the use changed from describing the image to adding jokes.}}
The '''title text''', also known as {{w|mouseover|mouseover text}} or {{w|tooltip}}, is an {{w|HTML attribute}} [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] puts on [[:Category:No title text|almost every xkcd comic]] to add something tangentially relevant to the topic of the comic. In some of the early comics, the title text was also used to comment on how they were drawn (see [[24: Godel, Escher, Kurt Halsey]]) and explain the joke (see [[5: Blown apart]]). In [[:Category:No title text|a few comics]], the title text is missing. The comic with the longest title text is [[1363: xkcd Phone]] (816 characters), while [[1311: 2014]] has the title text with the highest word count (134 words).

==How to access==
{{Quote|[T]o my knowledge none of the comics were ever missing a tooltip. It's all in a database (overbuilt, I know) and I think I would have noticed an empty field. More likely someone was just confused by their browser's erratic tooltip display behavior. Sometimes you have to do little incantations (or mouse over a link and then back onto the picture) to get them to appear.|[[Randall Munroe]]|{{w|Talk:Xkcd/Archive_1#All but one...|Source}}}}

Then title text can be accessed in many ways:
* By hovering the mouse pointer over the image on the main site;
* By clicking or tapping the "(alt-text)" button next to the comic title on the [https://m.xkcd.com mobile site];
* By viewing the [[Transcript|official transcript]] of the comics;
* By installing a [[Browser helpers|browser helper]];
* By opening the info.0.json file, for example [http://xkcd.com/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/info.0.json], [http://xkcd.com/485/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/485/info.0.json] or [http://xkcd.com/412/info.0.json http://xkcd.com/412/info.0.json]

==History==
Randall didn't add title texts to his comics before [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com], but most of the comics posted on [[LiveJournal]] had an original caption beneath the image, and many had comments by LiveJournal users. All the comics transferred to the new site had a title text, which was often along the same lines, but was almost never the same as the caption on LiveJournal. Learn more at [[LiveJournal]].

Randall uses the "title" attribute rather than the {{w|Alternative text for images|"alt" attribute}} in the HTML sources. In the [https://xkcd.com/rss.xml comics feed] and [https://xkcd.com/info.0.json API data] the "alt text" is labelled "alt". Randall has, at times, refer to "alt text", with one early comic example being the title text of [[45: Schrodinger]], though that can equally be read as refering to the accompanying "alt=" parameter given to the image, "Schrodinger", as far as the implied joke goes. In [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], the title text reads "I love the title-text!" as a part of the song, being one of the instances where Randall calls it "title text." However, he includes a hyphen as well.

===Firefox bug===
{{w|Firefox 2}} used to have a long-standing bug where only the initial part of the title text was shown as a tooltip. Firefox didn't show you the rest of the text unless you right-clicked show-property, and you would be able to see a sideways scrollable field of the title-text in the properties for the image. This bug was referenced in the title text of [[491: Twitter]] ("If long tooltips / cut off for you / then upgrade from / Firefox 2 / Burma Shave") and is still mentioned in [https://xkcd.com/about xkcd.com's About page]:

{{Quote|<big>'''Why can't I read the whole comic mouseover text in Firefox?'''</big>

''They can be read with extensions like [https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/1715/ Long Titles], or by right-clicking on the images and going to 'properties', then clicking and dragging to read the whole thing. This is a bug in [https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id{{=}}45375 Firefox, Mozilla Bug #45375]. It has been outstanding for many years now.

''Note: It looks like it's been fixed in Firefox 3.0. Now, as an added tweak, to keep the tooltips from expiring while you're reading, you can use [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/11233 this].|[[Randall Munroe]]|[https://xkcd.com/about About xkcd]}}

==Comics without a title text==
While most comics have one title text, some extra comics have [[:Category:No title text|no title text]]. In addition, [[404: Not Found]] lacks a title text due to delivering the standard {{w|Nginx}} "Page Not Found" message that does not even have any image to conceivably have an associated title text applied to it. [[1506: xkcloud]] is the first numbered comic other than [[404: Not Found]] to lack a title text, as certain interactive comics beyond number 1500 use a different format, removing the ability to add mouseover text. [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]] and [[1608: Hoverboard]] also have no title text. Due to a bug in the JavaScript in [[3227: Creation]], the title text disappears while on Stained Glass Mode. It is also impossible to access the title text when on that comic's Airplane Mode, because the comic flies too quickly.

==Comics with multiple title texts==
Sometimes a comic can have [[:Category:Multiple title texts|more than one title text]]. [[1193: Externalities]] was the first to have more than one title text, changing through the panels. [[1663: Garden]] also had multiple title texts. In addition to the main one (which said "Relax."), there are two different title texts for the two buttons, and one other one saying "null." In [[3074: Push Notifications]], in addition to the main title text (like in [[1663: Garden|1663]]), there is an extra one when you hover over the cat, reading ":3".

[[Category:Design of xkcd.com]]{{xkcdmeta}}

818: Illness

2026-06-15T21:44:43Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 818
| date = November 12, 2010
| title = Illness
| image = illness.png
| titletext = <3 If there's anything you can do, I'll let you know. For the moment, any simple distracting online games sent to sick@xkcd.com will not go unappreciated [EDIT: Holy crap 2,700 games before noon. I love you guys; thank you. They will be passed along and played by us all.]
}}

==Explanation==
{{Quote| I’m going through a rough period right now. There’s an illness in my family and I’m having a hard time focusing on anything but worrying and trying to take care of health stuff. Everyone is going to be okay, but it’s going to be a difficult four or five months, and I really appreciate your patience and understanding. I’m going to keep putting up comics, but I don’t how much else I’ll be able to work on.|[[Randall Munroe]]|[https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/11/05/submarines/ Source]}}

This is the first comic about [[Randall]]'s fiancée's (now wife) {{w|Cancer|cancer}}.

It is self-explanatory, although vague on specifics.

More details and related comics are on the [[:Category:Cancer]] page.

In the comic Randall mentions that he might not be able to (or interested in) sticking to the normal schedule. But he did manage to do that anyway. However, this comic was posted on a Friday, and the next week there were the 5 minute comics, and already the week after the next, xkcd was overtaken by guests during the [[:Category:Guest Week|Guest Week]]. Maybe this was his online comic colleagues who gave him a helping hand?

The title text asks for readers to send him distracting games to play, then was edited to show his appreciation for the number of them sent in.

==Transcript==
:[Randall, depicted as Cueball, is standing beneath all of this text. The last heart is much bigger than the text and comes directly from the Cueball figure.]
:Randall: Hey, everyone-
:Randall: As I mentioned on the blag, I'm going through a rough time right now. I'm dealing with a serious family illness and it's become pretty overwhelming.
:Randall: We're still getting a handle on everything, and I appreciate your patience while we figure it all out.
:Randall: Thank you to everyone who wrote in with kind wishes and words of support. They've been passed on and meant a lot.
:Randall: I like drawing, and might find time for it in the coming weeks, but I'm not going to push myself to stick to a schedule.
:Randall: However, between my stacks of notebooks, scanner, and supportive sysadmin, I should at least have something interesting to share with you in this space each M/W/F.
:Randall: ♡

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:Sysadmins]]

817: Mutual

2026-06-15T21:43:51Z

YZ100:

{{comic
| number = 817
| date = November 10, 2010
| title = Mutual
| image = mutual.png
| titletext = A universe that needed someone to observe it in order to collapse it into existence would be a pretty sorry universe indeed.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic depicts [[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] simultaneously thinking about each other thinking about each other thinking about each other, etc, etc. It may be a deliberate prelude to [[818|the next comic]].

The title text refers to the aspect of {{w|Quantum Mechanics}} where a system can exist in more than one state until it is observed. An observation is required in order to "collapse" the system into a particular state; the {{w|thought experiment}} of {{w|Schrödinger's cat}} is a popular way of explaining this concept. The title text proposes that, if a universe needed to be observed to exist, as with a quantum state, it would be a pretty sorry universe indeed, as who would exist to observe it if it needed to be observed in the first place?

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are inside each others' thought bubbles. Megan is sitting down.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Cancer]]

817: Mutual

2026-06-15T21:40:23Z

YZ100: /* Transcript */