1484: Apollo Speeches - Revision history

COBRIEN: Fix broken link

2026-01-21T23:00:38Z

Fix broken link

76.183.232.121 at 21:04, 8 August 2025

2025-08-08T21:04:45Z

76.183.232.121 at 21:00, 8 August 2025

2025-08-08T21:00:52Z

172.70.214.153: /* Explanation */ Added reason why the crew probably would not have absconded and sent hurtful messages

2025-03-09T09:06:51Z

‎Explanation: Added reason why the crew probably would not have absconded and sent hurtful messages

172.71.178.142 at 10:50, 26 February 2025

2025-02-26T10:50:44Z

Firestar233: technically...

2025-02-26T03:59:29Z

technically...

172.69.65.7: Added new section

2025-02-25T23:07:13Z

Added new section

172.69.58.15: None of them are impossible. Unlikely, sure. Impossible? Not a chance.

2024-02-10T02:14:42Z

None of them are impossible. Unlikely, sure. Impossible? Not a chance.

172.70.100.13: /* Transcript */

2023-05-13T20:01:43Z

‎Transcript

172.71.254.199: /* Explanation */

2023-05-11T14:40:33Z

‎Explanation

@@ Line 8: / Line 8: @@
 ==Explanation==
-As explained in the comic, {{w|Richard Nixon|Nixon}} staffer {{w|William Safire}} wrote [http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/11/in-event-of-moon-disaster.html two speeches] for the United States President to deliver, depending on whether or not the {{w|Apollo 11}} return launch was successful. When the outcome of an event (moon landing, military actions, etc.) can't be predicted with sufficient certainty, it is a common practice for "[http://www.archives.gov/presidential-libraries/events/centennials/nixon/exhibit/nixon-online-exhibit-disaster.html contingency speeches]" to be prepared.
+As explained in the comic, {{w|Richard Nixon|Nixon}} staffer {{w|William Safire}} wrote [https://news.lettersofnote.com/p/in-event-of-moon-disaster two speeches] for the United States President to deliver, depending on whether or not the {{w|Apollo 11}} return launch was successful. When the outcome of an event (moon landing, military actions, etc.) can't be predicted with sufficient certainty, it is a common practice for "[http://www.archives.gov/presidential-libraries/events/centennials/nixon/exhibit/nixon-online-exhibit-disaster.html contingency speeches]" to be prepared.
 The rest of the comic runs with this theme, making the false claim that Safire had written several other such contingency speeches for increasingly unlikely possibilities. First listed are a couple pages from the real contingency speech to be delivered in the event that the astronauts were left stranded on the Moon. The speeches after that deal with the following increasingly improbable contingencies:

@@ Line 16: / Line 16: @@
 ;The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it towards Mars
-While the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, the crew was made of three mature adult men who would not have been entrusted with the mission had they shown signs of immaturity or mental instability. (Indeed, {{w|Gordon Cooper}} was not allowed to fly on {{w|Apollo 13}} because of his lax attitude towards training.) It is even more unlikely that multiple astronauts would have had mental breakdowns at about the same time—in a short enough time interval to prevent the sane two astronauts from radioing back to inform Johnson Space Center of what was going on and request sending a psychologist to CAPCOM. (The cramped environment and relative environment could have made this more likely than the probability of the majority of a group of three on Earth suffering mental breakdowns in the timeframe of a few days, but the crew had radio contact with Earth, and they had each other for company, which was more than the astronauts of Mercury had, and they didn't suffer mental breakdowns.)) Furthermore, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly to Mars within any reasonable period of time by several orders of magnitude or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip. At the time of production for this strip in 2015, several governments and private companies have designs on Martian colonization.
+While the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly all the way to Mars within any reasonable period of time or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip by several orders of magnitude. Furthermore, the crew was made of three adult men who would not have been entrusted with the mission had they shown signs of immaturity or mental instability. (Indeed, {{w|Gordon Cooper}} was not allowed to fly on {{w|Apollo 13}} because of his lax attitude towards training.) It is even more unlikely that multiple astronauts would have had mental breakdowns at about the same time, in a short enough time interval to prevent the sane two astronauts from radioing back to inform Johnson Space Center of what was going on and request sending a psychologist to CAPCOM. (The cramped environment and relative environment could have made this more likely than the probability of the majority of a group of three on Earth suffering mental breakdowns in the timeframe of a few days, but the crew had radio contact with Earth, and they had each other for company, which was more than the astronauts of Mercury had, and they didn't suffer mental breakdowns.)
-Also, the quote "…'''commit itself, before this''' year '''is out'''…" is similar to John F. Kennedy's quote of "…'''commit itself''' to achieving the goal''', before this''' decade '''is out'''…" that kicked off the Moon race; this was likely intentional.
+The quote "…'''commit itself, before this''' year '''is out'''…" is similar to John F. Kennedy's quote of "…'''commit itself''' to achieving the goal''', before this''' decade '''is out'''…" that kicked off the Moon race; this was likely intentional.
 ;More astronauts than expected were found in the recovered ship

@@ Line 15: / Line 15: @@
 This was relatively unlikely, as communication with the spacecraft was maintained throughout the entire mission, except for when it transited behind the Moon. There were times, even on the nearside, when communications were 'spotty', and they had to change which antennas were used, but the problems were more with telemetry readings than the loss of scheduled voice contact.
-;The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it towards Mars, which was clearly not feasible
+;The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it towards Mars
-While the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, three mature adult men who would not have been entrusted with the mission had they shown signs of immaturity or mental instability. (Indeed, {{w|Gordon Cooper}} was not allowed to fly on Apollo 13 because of his lax attitude towards training, which would have required lesser degree of immaturity than necessary to take the spacecraft off-course and send hurtful messages back. It is even more unlikely that multiple astronauts would have had mental breakdowns at about the same time—in a short enough time interval to prevent the sane two astronauts from radioing back to inform Johnson Space Center of what was going on and request sending a psychologist to CAPCOM. (The cramped environment and relative environment could have made this more likely than the probability of the majority of a group of three on Earth suffering mental breakdowns in the timeframe of a few days, but the crew had radio contact with Earth, and they had each other for company, which was more than the astronauts of Mercury had, and they didn't suffer mental breakdowns.)) Furthermore, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly to Mars within any reasonable period of time by several orders of magnitude or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip. At the time of production for this strip in 2015, several governments and private companies have designs on Martian colonization.
+While the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, the crew was made of three mature adult men who would not have been entrusted with the mission had they shown signs of immaturity or mental instability. (Indeed, {{w|Gordon Cooper}} was not allowed to fly on {{w|Apollo 13}} because of his lax attitude towards training.) It is even more unlikely that multiple astronauts would have had mental breakdowns at about the same time—in a short enough time interval to prevent the sane two astronauts from radioing back to inform Johnson Space Center of what was going on and request sending a psychologist to CAPCOM. (The cramped environment and relative environment could have made this more likely than the probability of the majority of a group of three on Earth suffering mental breakdowns in the timeframe of a few days, but the crew had radio contact with Earth, and they had each other for company, which was more than the astronauts of Mercury had, and they didn't suffer mental breakdowns.)) Furthermore, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly to Mars within any reasonable period of time by several orders of magnitude or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip. At the time of production for this strip in 2015, several governments and private companies have designs on Martian colonization.
 Also, the quote "…'''commit itself, before this''' year '''is out'''…" is similar to John F. Kennedy's quote of "…'''commit itself''' to achieving the goal''', before this''' decade '''is out'''…" that kicked off the Moon race; this was likely intentional.

@@ Line 16: / Line 16: @@
 ;The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it towards Mars, which was clearly not feasible
-While the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly to Mars within any reasonable period of time by several orders of magnitude or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip. At the time of production for this strip in 2015, several governments and private companies have designs on Martian colonization.
+While the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, three mature adult men who would not have been entrusted with the mission had they shown signs of immaturity or mental instability. (Indeed, {{w|Gordon Cooper}} was not allowed to fly on Apollo 13 because of his lax attitude towards training, which would have required lesser degree of immaturity than necessary to take the spacecraft off-course and send hurtful messages back. It is even more unlikely that multiple astronauts would have had mental breakdowns at about the same time—in a short enough time interval to prevent the sane two astronauts from radioing back to inform Johnson Space Center of what was going on and request sending a psychologist to CAPCOM. (The cramped environment and relative environment could have made this more likely than the probability of the majority of a group of three on Earth suffering mental breakdowns in the timeframe of a few days, but the crew had radio contact with Earth, and they had each other for company, which was more than the astronauts of Mercury had, and they didn't suffer mental breakdowns.)) Furthermore, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly to Mars within any reasonable period of time by several orders of magnitude or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip. At the time of production for this strip in 2015, several governments and private companies have designs on Martian colonization.
 ;More astronauts than expected were found in the recovered ship
@@ Line 27: / Line 29: @@
 ;The re-entry craft had been sold for scrap and crushed along with the astronauts inside
-Apollo 11 observed a strict quarantine procedure after landing. This possibility requires extraordinary incompetence and unholy zeal for recycling programs. The command module was historically recovered, examined, and is now on permanent display in the {{w|National Air and Space Museum}}. Primary sources state that the astronauts were allowed to leave the craft before it was put on display{{Citation needed}}.
+Apollo 11 observed a strict quarantine procedure after landing. This possibility requires extraordinary incompetence and unholy zeal for recycling programs. The command module was historically recovered, examined, and is now on permanent display in the {{w|National Air and Space Museum}}. Primary sources indicate that the astronauts were allowed to leave the craft before it was put on display{{Citation needed}}.
 The title text builds upon this last contingency speech, delving into the pathos of the horror of the spacecraft's recycling and its passengers' resulting deaths despite the U.S.'s commitment to recycling initiatives.

@@ Line 13: / Line 13: @@
 ;The spacecraft went missing
-This was relatively unlikely, as communication with the spacecraft was maintained throughout the entire mission, except for when it transited behind the moon.
+This was relatively unlikely, as communication with the spacecraft was maintained throughout the entire mission, except for when it transited behind the Moon. There were times, even on the nearside, when communications were 'spotty', and they had to change which antennas were used, but the problems were more with telemetry readings than the loss of scheduled voice contact.
 ;The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it towards Mars, which was clearly not feasible

@@ Line 10: / Line 10: @@
 As explained in the comic, {{w|Richard Nixon|Nixon}} staffer {{w|William Safire}} wrote [http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/11/in-event-of-moon-disaster.html two speeches] for the United States President to deliver, depending on whether or not the {{w|Apollo 11}} return launch was successful. When the outcome of an event (moon landing, military actions, etc.) can't be predicted with sufficient certainty, it is a common practice for "[http://www.archives.gov/presidential-libraries/events/centennials/nixon/exhibit/nixon-online-exhibit-disaster.html contingency speeches]" to be prepared.
-The rest of the comic runs with this theme, making the false claim that Safire had written several other such contingency speeches for increasingly unlikely possibilities. First listed are a couple pages from the real contingency speech to be delivered in the event that the astronauts were left stranded on the Moon. Lying on top of that is a speech to be delivered in the case that the spacecraft went missing altogether, which was relatively unlikely. The speeches after that deal with the following highly unlikely or impossible contingencies:
+The rest of the comic runs with this theme, making the false claim that Safire had written several other such contingency speeches for increasingly unlikely possibilities. First listed are a couple pages from the real contingency speech to be delivered in the event that the astronauts were left stranded on the Moon. Lying on top of that is a speech to be delivered in the case that the spacecraft went missing altogether, which was relatively unlikely. The speeches after that deal with the following highly improbable contingencies:
 ;The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it towards Mars, which was clearly not feasible

@@ Line 33: / Line 33: @@
 :Uncovered in 1999, it is often called the greatest speech never given.
 :Today, the ''full'' set of Safire's contingency speeches has been found.
 :'''In event astronauts stranded on Moon'''
 :Fate has ordained that the men who went to the Moon to explore in peace will stay on the Moon to rest in peace.
-:[Here, several lines from the original speech are cut.]
+:[Here, several lines from the original speech are cut, and the text continues on a separate sheet of paper.]
 :In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
 :Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts. For every human being who looks up at the Moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever

@@ Line 16: / Line 16: @@
 ;More astronauts than expected were found in the recovered ship
-The appearance of three (possibly six?) additional astronauts ventures into the realm of possibility normally reserved for science fiction and Twilight Zone episodes.
+The appearance of three (possibly six?) additional astronauts ventures into the realm of possibility normally reserved for science fiction such as "Twilight Zone" episodes.
 ;The ship had hit the U.S.S. Hornet and crushed Nixon
 The {{w|USS Hornet (CV-12)|USS ''Hornet''}} was the ship that recovered the Apollo 11 astronauts after they completed their return mission by landing their command module in the Pacific Ocean; President Nixon himself was on board to greet them upon their return. Apollo 11 famously landed in the Pacific Ocean, and the single ship tasked with its recovery would be a very small target to hit for the technology even if that had been the intent, which it was of course not. Spiro Agnew was, in 1969, Vice President of the United States, and thus next in line for the presidency. This joke plays off the extreme improbability of the ship, and indeed President, being hit and triggering a succession, causing "President Agnew" to address the world.
-This is not as implausible as it sounds. The re-entry guidance had become good enough by Apollo 11 that the destination point of the capsule was moved several hundred yards from the carrier's position for exactly this reason. Such a collision had been the subject of jokes at NASA, until one day an engineer came to Gene Kranz and said, "the more I think about it, the less I think it is a joke."
+This is not as implausible as it sounds. The re-entry guidance had become good enough by Apollo 11 that the destination point of the capsule was moved several hundred yards from the carrier's position for exactly this reason. Such a collision had been the subject of jokes at NASA, until one day an engineer came to Gene Kranz and said, "The more I think about it, the less I think it is a joke."
 ;The re-entry craft had been sold for scrap and crushed along with the astronauts inside