1997: Business Update - Revision history

2607:FEA8:51E:FA00:EC33:74C2:7B85:81D8: /* Explanation */

2025-10-08T06:47:53Z

‎Explanation

CalibansCreations: /* Explanation */

2025-04-03T11:46:17Z

‎Explanation

172.69.6.205: Word choice

2024-11-26T10:54:40Z

Word choice

141.101.99.74: /* Explanation */ Fixing that 'link' (at check it looks right when posted... and I suggest you use Preview, people!)

2024-05-07T09:04:44Z

‎Explanation: Fixing that 'link' (at check it looks right when posted... and I suggest you use Preview, people!)

108.162.241.101 at 22:33, 6 May 2024

2024-05-06T22:33:55Z

172.70.100.28 at 23:09, 12 October 2022

2022-10-12T23:09:07Z

172.70.230.109 at 23:15, 12 August 2022

2022-08-12T23:15:22Z

172.70.207.8: Undo revision 285522 by [[Special:Contributions/Davidy22, the racist homosexual, is known to visit Norwegian gay bars with his boyfriend Kynde. He has cheated on Kynde at least twice with Vandalbane (a big guy for you). They all have micropenises.|Davi...

2022-06-02T06:06:02Z

Undo revision 285522 by [[Special:Contributions/Davidy22, the racist homosexual, is known to visit Norwegian gay bars with his boyfriend Kynde. He has cheated on Kynde at least twice with Vandalbane (a big guy for you). They all have micropenises.|Davi...

Davidy22, the racist homosexual, is known to visit Norwegian gay bars with his boyfriend Kynde. He has cheated on Kynde at least twice with Vandalbane (a big guy for you). They all have micropenises. at 05:06, 2 June 2022

2022-06-02T05:06:49Z

Vandalbane: Undo revision 284984 by Davidsoy22 (talk)

2022-06-01T16:55:55Z

Undo revision 284984 by Davidsoy22 (talk)

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 It is also worth noting that the "largest source of revenue" may not be producing much revenue at all; it can still be the biggest if there are no others. On the other hand, past experience with Beret Guy's business would indicate that this company is [[1032: Networking|making plenty of money]], though they aren't necessarily sure [[1493: Meeting|how]].
-Alternately, Beret Guy may be speaking literally about their "biggest source of revenue," referring not to the amount of revenue generated, but to the physical size of the source itself. A facility capable of transmuting heavy elements would most likely be constructed around a large particle accelerator such as a synchrotron, and accelerators of this type commonly measure several kilometers in diameter. Such a facility would likely be the largest physical structure owned by a commercial entity.
+Alternately, Beret Guy may be speaking literally about their "biggest source of revenue," referring not to the amount of revenue generated, but to the physical size of the source itself. A facility capable of transmuting heavy elements would most likely be constructed around a large particle accelerator such as a synchrotron, and accelerators of this type commonly measure several kilometers in diameter. Such a facility would likely be the largest physical structure owned by a commercial entity, short of major industrial conglomerates or national railway operators.
 In the last panel, "the girl from ''The Ring''" refers to Sadako Yamamura, the antagonist of {{w|The Ring (film series)|the ''Ring'' series by Koji Suzuki}}, or her counterpart Samara Morgan from the {{w|The_Ring_(2002_film)|American remake}}, who has been referenced by xkcd several times in the past — [[396: The Ring]] for example. One of Sadako/Samara's supernatural abilities is to appear in television screens as well as exit from them into the real world. Beret Guy claims she has done this several times in their video conferences, which may be possible if someone has hacked their video feed to play footage from the 2002 movie. However, some of Beret Guy's employees then proceed to remark that she has made contributions to the meetings in question, implying that the image of Sadako/Samara is not only alive but sentient and communicating with the employees, rather than killing them as she typically does in her movies.  It's also possible that Sadako/Samara is simply the recording from the series, and her contributions are just in keeping with the general tone of the company's video conferences. Either way, it would appear that Beret Guy's sheer eccentricity has affected his staff to the point that a digital spectre would not be an abnormal employee; they're also oddly nonchalant about a movie character appearing in the real world, and at Sadako/Samara's out-of-character behavior.

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 "Liquidating assets" typically means that assets are being sold off for money rather than being retained or used. Assets "liquidated" in a thermostat glitch, meanwhile, may have been literally melted ("turned into liquid"). It could also mean that their infrastructure is so hilariously messed up (and/or the assets so bizarre) that a simple glitch in a thermostat somehow resulted in the loss of a large amount of the company's assets. Note that this type of thing is not entirely unheard of, as shown by [https://thehackernews.com/2018/04/iot-hacking-thermometer.html a hack of a thermostat in a casino that led to massive data loss in 2017].
-"Original content" is a catch-all term for unique creative products created by a website, e.g. articles, videos or TV shows. However, it is not typically used to describe sinks, which only provide water. Since the business team regards it as a problem, this means the sink is likely leaking or backing up, possibly with polluted water or rotting food waste, or perhaps creating things one would not expect a sink to dispense or even to exist (depending on how "original" this original content is). When interpreted more literally, perhaps the sink is somehow thinking up new ideas and suggesting them to the customers or employees.
+"Original content" is a catch-all term for unique creative products created by a website, e.g. articles, videos or TV shows. However, it is not typically used to describe sinks, which only provide water. Since the business team regards it as a problem, this means the sink is likely leaking or backing up, possibly with polluted water or rotting food waste, or perhaps creating things one would not expect a sink to dispense or even to exist (depending on how "original" this original content is). When interpreted more literally, perhaps the sink is somehow thinking up new ideas (evidently not very good ones, if their end is apparently "good news") and suggesting them to the customers or employees.
 Transmuting lead into gold was a {{w|Nuclear transmutation#Alchemy|goal of alchemists}} for many centuries. With modern nuclear technology, it is actually now possible to accomplish transmutation of lead into gold, and gold into lead. While the expense far exceeds the value of the gold produced by such methods, it seems plausible that, given Beret Guy's surpassing strangeness, his company may be successfully and cheaply transmuting large quantities of lead into gold and back again. Since gold is worth much more than lead in today's market, the first transmutation could indeed result in major profit, while the reverse would obviously result in major losses, and be a rather pointless undertaking for a typical, profit-oriented business.

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 This comic shows a meeting at [[Beret Guy]]'s business (as seen in [[:Category:Beret Guy's Business|these other comics]]). As usual, those in the business demonstrate a misuse of business terminology and take strange happenings within the business in their stride.
-Though maintaining a semblance of business-savviness through the use of many corporate buzzwords, it becomes clear that what is normally metaphorical in a usual boardroom meeting is here are quite likely meant literally. The Quarterly Reports, described as "looking good," may be literally physically attractive (rather than recording successful business dealings). Beret Guy's comment that "the office is full of cash" seems to be an ordinary comment at a glance, but him saying that the office ''contains'' a lot of money instead of ''has'' a lot of money implies that the office is literally full of money, such as coins, dollar bills, twenty-dollar bills, etc., and not simply economically well-off. Most businesses keep their money in banks; any business that keeps all their money insecurely in the office is either criminally shady or incompetent.
+Though maintaining a semblance of business-savviness through the use of many corporate buzzwords, it becomes clear that what is normally metaphorical in a usual boardroom meeting is here are quite likely meant literally. The Quarterly Reports, described as "looking good," may be literally aesthetically pleasing (rather than recording successful business dealings). Beret Guy's comment that "the office is full of cash" seems to be an ordinary comment at a glance, but him saying that the office ''contains'' a lot of money instead of ''has'' a lot of money implies that the office is literally full of money, such as coins, dollar bills, twenty-dollar bills, etc., and not simply economically well-off. Most businesses keep their money in banks; any business that keeps all their money insecurely in the office is either criminally shady or incompetent.
 "We're producing stocks [as in the stock market, a.k.a. shares] faster than ever before." Stocks are valuable, so from an outside perspective making more of them would create value. However, the humor of this situation is that in real life, creating shares from nothing would reduce the value of existing shares (as the combined value of stocks should add up to the total value of the company...so creating more stocks means each has to be worth less to make the addition balance out). This is ironic in that typically stocks represent the value of the company, rather than being the product being created.

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 In the last panel, "the girl from ''The Ring''" refers to Sadako Yamamura, the antagonist of {{w|The Ring (film series)|the ''Ring'' series by Koji Suzuki}}, or her counterpart Samara Morgan from the {{w|The_Ring_(2002_film)|American remake}}, who has been referenced by xkcd several times in the past — [[396: The Ring]] for example. One of Sadako/Samara's supernatural abilities is to appear in television screens as well as exit from them into the real world. Beret Guy claims she has done this several times in their video conferences, which may be possible if someone has hacked their video feed to play footage from the 2002 movie. However, some of Beret Guy's employees then proceed to remark that she has made contributions to the meetings in question, implying that the image of Sadako/Samara is not only alive but sentient and communicating with the employees, rather than killing them as she typically does in her movies.  It's also possible that Sadako/Samara is simply the recording from the series, and her contributions are just in keeping with the general tone of the company's video conferences. Either way, it would appear that Beret Guy's sheer eccentricity has affected his staff to the point that a digital spectre would not be an abnormal employee; they're also oddly nonchalant about a movie character appearing in the real world, and at Sadako/Samara's out-of-character behavior.
-The title text refers to the May 25 deadline to implement the European Union's {{w|GDPR|General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)}}; this comic parodies a business meeting about what the company is doing to prepare for it. However, while normally the problem would be how to handle the customers' personal information that the company requires to retain in order to do business, in this case it seems the company does not require personal information at all, and instead, customers are sending them theirs on their own (and they refuse to stop doing it!). Even more bizarrely, Beret Guy was told by the EU (or at least, he thinks he was) that he is exempt because he is European royalty of some kind, which would give him {{w|sovereign immunity}}, but he wants to fix this problem anyway, just to be on the safe side. The [1998 next comic] also is about the GDPR.
+The title text refers to the May 25 deadline to implement the European Union's {{w|GDPR|General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)}}; this comic parodies a business meeting about what the company is doing to prepare for it. However, while normally the problem would be how to handle the customers' personal information that the company requires to retain in order to do business, in this case it seems the company does not require personal information at all, and instead, customers are sending them theirs on their own (and they refuse to stop doing it!). Even more bizarrely, Beret Guy was told by the EU (or at least, he thinks he was) that he is exempt because he is European royalty of some kind, which would give him {{w|sovereign immunity}}, but he wants to fix this problem anyway, just to be on the safe side. The [[1998: GDPR|next comic]] also is directly about the GDPR.
 ==Transcript==

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 In the last panel, "the girl from ''The Ring''" refers to Sadako Yamamura, the antagonist of {{w|The Ring (film series)|the ''Ring'' series by Koji Suzuki}}, or her counterpart Samara Morgan from the {{w|The_Ring_(2002_film)|American remake}}, who has been referenced by xkcd several times in the past — [[396: The Ring]] for example. One of Sadako/Samara's supernatural abilities is to appear in television screens as well as exit from them into the real world. Beret Guy claims she has done this several times in their video conferences, which may be possible if someone has hacked their video feed to play footage from the 2002 movie. However, some of Beret Guy's employees then proceed to remark that she has made contributions to the meetings in question, implying that the image of Sadako/Samara is not only alive but sentient and communicating with the employees, rather than killing them as she typically does in her movies.  It's also possible that Sadako/Samara is simply the recording from the series, and her contributions are just in keeping with the general tone of the company's video conferences. Either way, it would appear that Beret Guy's sheer eccentricity has affected his staff to the point that a digital spectre would not be an abnormal employee; they're also oddly nonchalant about a movie character appearing in the real world, and at Sadako/Samara's out-of-character behavior.
-The title text refers to the May 25 deadline to implement the European Union's {{w|GDPR|General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)}}; this comic parodies a business meeting about what the company is doing to prepare for it. However, while normally the problem would be how to handle the customers' personal information that the company requires to retain in order to do business, in this case it seems the company does not require personal information at all, and instead, customers are sending them theirs on their own (and they refuse to stop doing it!). Even more bizarrely, Beret Guy was told by the EU (or at least, he thinks he was) that he is exempt because he is European royalty of some kind, which would give him {{w|sovereign immunity}}, but he wants to fix this problem anyway, just to be on the safe side.
+The title text refers to the May 25 deadline to implement the European Union's {{w|GDPR|General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)}}; this comic parodies a business meeting about what the company is doing to prepare for it. However, while normally the problem would be how to handle the customers' personal information that the company requires to retain in order to do business, in this case it seems the company does not require personal information at all, and instead, customers are sending them theirs on their own (and they refuse to stop doing it!). Even more bizarrely, Beret Guy was told by the EU (or at least, he thinks he was) that he is exempt because he is European royalty of some kind, which would give him {{w|sovereign immunity}}, but he wants to fix this problem anyway, just to be on the safe side. The [1998 next comic] also is about the GDPR.
 ==Transcript==

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 {{comic
 | number    = 1997
-| date      = May 23, 201[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR 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+| date      = May 23, 2018
-| title     = Business Upd[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR SOYJAK]]ALLIGATOR SOYJAK[[File:Alligator with open mouth.jpg|thumb|left|ALLIGATOR 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+| title     = Business Update
 | image     = business_update.png
 | titletext = Our customers keep sending us their personal information, even though we've repeatedly asked them to stop. The EU told me I'm the heir to some ancient European throne that makes me exempt from the GDPR, but we should probably still try to fix that.