2570: Captain Picard Tea Order - Revision history

82.132.236.148: /* Explanation */ Not really reminiscent of adventure game commands (especially LPMUD parsers), or even shell commands (save for opening with the base command, you can have any and all styles of parameterisation, both strictly and loosely defined).

2026-02-12T17:53:09Z

‎Explanation: Not really reminiscent of adventure game commands (especially LPMUD parsers), or even shell commands (save for opening with the base command, you can have any and all styles of parameterisation, both strictly and loosely defined).

42.book.addict: unnecessary cn's, please note that cn's go AFTER punctuation (see :Template:Citation needed for more info)

2026-02-12T16:23:56Z

unnecessary cn's, please note that cn's go AFTER punctuation (see Template:Citation needed for more info)

Elizium23: expand

2026-02-12T15:22:27Z

expand

Elizium23: expand

2026-02-12T15:21:55Z

expand

152.26.89.239: /* Other Words */

2026-02-12T14:15:03Z

‎Other Words

FaviFake at 09:19, 25 August 2023

2023-08-25T09:19:14Z

172.71.211.36 at 13:17, 6 June 2023

2023-06-06T13:17:59Z

FaviFake: Updated category name

2023-05-23T15:12:10Z

Updated category name

FaviFake: Moved the "This was the Nth comic after countdown in header text" notice into the more appropriate Trivia section

2023-05-10T15:28:57Z

Moved the "This was the Nth comic after countdown in header text" notice into the more appropriate Trivia section

172.71.222.77: Why is there a link to a random quora question with no answers?

2023-01-20T19:45:00Z

Why is there a link to a random quora question with no answers?

@@ Line 12: / Line 12: @@
 In the show, Picard's beverage of choice is {{w|Earl Grey tea}}.  His habitual method for ordering is to first specify what he wants (tea, in this case), then specify a particular type (Earl Grey), and then give specific instructions for how it is to be served (hot, as opposed to {{w|iced tea}}).  Because this is his favored drink, he repeatedly places the exact order "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaAT6-dY1QI Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.]" The first picture in the strip implies that the display shows each part of the order, and provides a list of options for the next step.
-This style imitates the terse, repetetive and precise method of running commands on early computers, such as a Unix shell, database query, or a text adventure game. However, the replicators can understand and converse in natural language like an LLM, so Picard's order is a stylistic choice, rather than a constraint of the technology.
+This style is a systematic description of the desired product, like a {{w|Linnaean taxonomy}} or (perhaps more related to the setting and scenario) an official quartermasters' identification of stored items (like "underwear, winter, soldiers, for the use of"), which emphasises the general nature of the target item first before then specifying its more specific qualities — echoing the indexing scheme that would be used to organise and group various similar entries. However, the ship computers and replicators of Picard's vessel can understand and converse in natural language, at least as much as a {{w|Large language model|LLM}} of today can, so Picard's style of order is out of choice or habit, rather than a constraint of the technology; perhaps it reflects his exacting preferences, even in his downtime away from being in direct command of the Enterprise, though "please make me my favourite drink" (or even the substantially more terse "drink, please") might have sufficed just as much.
 [[Randall]] parodies this repeated order by suggesting [[#Other Words|other words]] that could follow "Tea. Earl Grey.", starting from ones he considers more "normal" moving to those he presumes increasingly "less normal" down a long and winding arrow.

@@ Line 88: / Line 88: @@
 |-
 | Magnetic
-| Tea is not magnetic{{Citation needed}}. Some teas contain metals that ''can'' be magnetic, such as {{w|Irn-Bru}} (which has iron), although ''non''-magnetic iron is usually used. Magnetic metals in tea may have adverse consequences. In addition, consuming more than one magnetic source may end up squeezing tissues in the intestines or bowels, with potentially lethal consequences.
+| Tea is not magnetic. Some teas contain metals that ''can'' be magnetic, such as {{w|Irn-Bru}} (which has iron), although ''non''-magnetic iron is usually used. Magnetic metals in tea may have adverse consequences. In addition, consuming more than one magnetic source may end up squeezing tissues in the intestines or bowels, with potentially lethal consequences.
 |-
 | Ballistic
@@ Line 101: / Line 101: @@
 |-
 | Blurry
-| Being blurry is not a normal state for tea to have {{Citation needed}}. Cloudy, on the other hand, is quite normal for certain brews.
+| Being blurry is not a normal state for tea to have. Cloudy, on the other hand, is quite normal for certain brews.
 |-
 | Loud
@@ Line 108: / Line 108: @@
 |-
 | Virtual
-| In our (physical) world virtual tea cannot exist {{Citation needed}}, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange (and paradoxical). However, ''Star Trek'' features the Holodeck, which creates a virtual physically interactive environment made from "holo-matter", which is stated to be not the same as real matter (though not how).
+| In our (physical) world virtual tea cannot exist, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange (and paradoxical). However, ''Star Trek'' features the Holodeck, which creates a virtual physically interactive environment made from "holo-matter", which is stated to be not the same as real matter (though not how).
 |-
 | Intravenous
@@ Line 137: / Line 137: @@
 |-
 | Bipedal
-| Bipedal organisms have two feet.  As tea does not walk{{Citation needed}}, this would be a very strange term to use when describing tea.
+| Bipedal organisms have two feet.  As tea does not walk, this would be a very strange term to use when describing tea.
 |-
 | Afraid
-| Tea does not have feelings. {{Citation needed}}  Although water {{w|Water memory|may remember things}} (at least pseudo-scientifically) or [https://www.quotes.net/mquote/901305 consider some things to be unpleasant].
+| Tea does not have feelings. Although water {{w|Water memory|may remember things}} (at least pseudo-scientifically) or [https://www.quotes.net/mquote/901305 consider some things to be unpleasant].
 |-
 | Infinite

@@ Line 12: / Line 12: @@
 In the show, Picard's beverage of choice is {{w|Earl Grey tea}}.  His habitual method for ordering is to first specify what he wants (tea, in this case), then specify a particular type (Earl Grey), and then give specific instructions for how it is to be served (hot, as opposed to {{w|iced tea}}).  Because this is his favored drink, he repeatedly places the exact order "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaAT6-dY1QI Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.]" The first picture in the strip implies that the display shows each part of the order, and provides a list of options for the next step.
-This style imitates the terse, repetetive and precise method of running commands on early computers, such as a Unix shell, or a text adventure game. However, the replicators can understand and converse in natural language like an LLM, so Picard's order is a stylistic choice, rather than a constraint of the technology.
+This style imitates the terse, repetetive and precise method of running commands on early computers, such as a Unix shell, database query, or a text adventure game. However, the replicators can understand and converse in natural language like an LLM, so Picard's order is a stylistic choice, rather than a constraint of the technology.
 [[Randall]] parodies this repeated order by suggesting [[#Other Words|other words]] that could follow "Tea. Earl Grey.", starting from ones he considers more "normal" moving to those he presumes increasingly "less normal" down a long and winding arrow.

@@ Line 11: / Line 11: @@
 In the show, Picard's beverage of choice is {{w|Earl Grey tea}}.  His habitual method for ordering is to first specify what he wants (tea, in this case), then specify a particular type (Earl Grey), and then give specific instructions for how it is to be served (hot, as opposed to {{w|iced tea}}).  Because this is his favored drink, he repeatedly places the exact order "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaAT6-dY1QI Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.]" The first picture in the strip implies that the display shows each part of the order, and provides a list of options for the next step.
 [[Randall]] parodies this repeated order by suggesting [[#Other Words|other words]] that could follow "Tea. Earl Grey.", starting from ones he considers more "normal" moving to those he presumes increasingly "less normal" down a long and winding arrow.
@@ Line 19: / Line 21: @@
 In contrast to the often trivial use of a replicator as merely a potentially infinitely versatile vending machine, the comic sets up a number of quite esoteric options, culminating in Earl Grey himself potentially drinking (generic) tea, after both the tea and he have been replicated into existence by Picard.
 In the title text, someone tells Picard that they should wait until the Earl has been fully extruded from the dispenser, and ''then'' ascertain what he would actually wish to drink. The presumption is that it could take some time to get a full living person out of the replicator.  This sort of operation would be better suited for the holodeck, which has been used to create simulacra of other historical figures, including Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, and Sir Isaac Newton, with the limitations that they are mere simulations without their own autonomy and cannot exist beyond the limits of the fixed holotransmitters; though at least two others seem to have gained full sentience, and granted (or be convinced they were granted) physical freedom.
@@ Line 125: / Line 129: @@
 | As with "Blessed", above, items can be Cursed in role-playing games, i.e. having greater negative or lesser positive effects; while there are strategic uses for Cursed items, generally the player would prefer uncursed ones (neutral or blessed). Amongst curseable items are potions, a class of consumables that do not usually include any teas but does contain the "potion of water", which may therefore be the cause of this cursed cuppa.
-"Cursed items" are more vaguely defined in real life, with various sources claiming that it applies to objects that cause people "irritation" or "confusion".
+"Cursed items" are more vaguely defined in real life, with various sources claiming that it applies to objects that cause people "irritation" or "confusion". In the episode "Contagion", Picard makes his order for the first time, but due to a malware infection, the replicator produces a potted plant instead.
 Cursed items have featured in xkcd previously: [[2332: Cursed Chair]], [[2376: Curbside]], and [[:Category:Cursed Connectors]].

@@ Line 84: / Line 84: @@
 |-
 | Magnetic
-| Tea is not magnetic. Some teas contain metals that ''can'' be magnetic, such as {{w|Irn-Bru}} (which has iron), although ''non''-magnetic iron is usually used. Magnetic metals in tea may have adverse consequences. In addition, consuming more than one magnetic source may end up squeezing tissues in the intestines or bowels, with potentially lethal consequences.
+| Tea is not magnetic{{Citation needed}}. Some teas contain metals that ''can'' be magnetic, such as {{w|Irn-Bru}} (which has iron), although ''non''-magnetic iron is usually used. Magnetic metals in tea may have adverse consequences. In addition, consuming more than one magnetic source may end up squeezing tissues in the intestines or bowels, with potentially lethal consequences.
 |-
 | Ballistic
@@ Line 97: / Line 97: @@
 |-
 | Blurry
-| Being blurry is not a normal state for tea to have. Cloudy, on the other hand, is quite normal for certain brews.
+| Being blurry is not a normal state for tea to have {{Citation needed}}. Cloudy, on the other hand, is quite normal for certain brews.
 |-
 | Loud
@@ Line 104: / Line 104: @@
 |-
 | Virtual
-| In our (physical) world virtual tea cannot be exist, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange (and paradoxical). However, ''Star Trek'' features the Holodeck, which creates a virtual physically interactive environment made from "holo-matter", which is stated to be not the same as real matter (though not how).
+| In our (physical) world virtual tea cannot exist {{Citation needed}}, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange (and paradoxical). However, ''Star Trek'' features the Holodeck, which creates a virtual physically interactive environment made from "holo-matter", which is stated to be not the same as real matter (though not how).
 |-
 | Intravenous
@@ Line 133: / Line 133: @@
 |-
 | Bipedal
-| Bipedal organisms have two feet.  As tea does not walk, this would be a very strange term to use when describing tea.
+| Bipedal organisms have two feet.  As tea does not walk{{Citation needed}}, this would be a very strange term to use when describing tea.
 |-
 | Afraid
-| Tea does not have feelings.  Although water {{w|Water memory|may remember things}} (at least pseudo-scientifically) or [https://www.quotes.net/mquote/901305 consider some things to be unpleasant].
+| Tea does not have feelings. {{Citation needed}}  Although water {{w|Water memory|may remember things}} (at least pseudo-scientifically) or [https://www.quotes.net/mquote/901305 consider some things to be unpleasant].
 |-
 | Infinite

@@ Line 218: / Line 218: @@
 ==Trivia==
-*This was the fifth comic to come out after the [[Countdown in header text]] started.
+This was the fifth comic to come out after the [[Countdown in header text]] started.
 {{comic discussion}}

@@ Line 32: / Line 32: @@
 |-
 | Iced
-| {{w|Iced tea}} is a typical variation of tea. In the United States, iced tea is a popular alternative to soft drinks and makes up about 85% of all tea consumed.
+| {{w|Iced tea}} is a typical variation of tea. In the United States, iced tea is a popular alternative to soft drinks and makes up about 85% of all tea consumed, although (perhaps owing to being from Boston, whose climate is not too sweltering to motivate cold drinks) Randall classifies it as less normal than hot Earl Grey.
 |-
 | Decaf
@@ Line 47: / Line 47: @@
 |-
 | Boiled
-| Boiling the water used to make the tea is a common and normal way to increase the flavor and nutrients extracted from the tea leaves, though it is suggested that the actual ideal temperature of hot water is 75-98°C (167-210°F), according to whether it is a light tea or a dark one, and that perhaps it should be sipped at around 65°C/150°F-ish if desired 'hot'.
+| Boiling the water used to make the tea is a common way to increase the flavor and nutrients extracted from the tea leaves. It is suggested that the ideal temperature for hot water is 75-98°C (167-210°F), according to whether it is a light tea or a dark one, and that it should be sipped at around 65°C/150°F-ish if desired 'hot' to prevent scalding.
-Having made a tea and ''then'' bringing it back to the boil (especially after adding milk/etc.) may destroy some of the desirable qualities previously imbued. {{w|Masala chai}} is generally boiled, but would never be made with Earl Grey.
+This command/specification may be meant as a contrast to a cold brew and using 'boiled' rather than 'hot' clarifying the intention for a tea brewed in hot water rather than a tea brewed in cold water and then heated up, which some detractors claim negatively affects the taste, although if that is the case then that implies Picard has been drinking heated up cold tea for most of the series.
 |-
 | Watery
@@ Line 54: / Line 54: @@
 |-
 | Sour
-| Many people do not enjoy a sour taste, which can accompany rot and is a strange thing to specify when ordering Earl Grey tea. Although lemon juice is often an additive used in the same way (but as a complete alternative) to milk.
+| Many people do not enjoy sour tea or coffee, which is usually a sign of overextraction and thus a strange thing to specify when ordering Earl Grey tea. Lemon tea can perhaps be considered a sour tea, although most, if not all, people would say 'lemon' rather than 'sour'.
 |-
 | Meaty
@@ Line 60: / Line 60: @@
 |-
 | Solid
-| Tea is usually drunk as a liquid. It would be strange to ask for solid tea, unless there was a situation where it could be rehydrated later. Alternatively, Picard could be asking for frozen tea, or ice, which would begin solid but melt in his mouth.
+| Tea is usually drunk as a liquid. It would be strange to ask for solid tea, although given the setting of the series perhaps Picard wishes to bring along the solid tea so he can make a cup while off the ''Enterprise''. Alternatively, Picard could be asking for frozen tea, or ice, which would begin solid but melt in his mouth.
 |-
 | Dry
@@ Line 84: / Line 84: @@
 |-
 | Magnetic
-| Tea is not magnetic. Magnetic metals would have to be added to the tea, which would not be pleasant to drink. In addition, consuming more than one magnetic source may end up squeezing tissues in the intestines or bowels, with potentially lethal consequences. However, this would not be the {{w|Irn-Bru|first drink}} to be supplemented with iron.
+| Tea is not magnetic. Some teas contain metals that ''can'' be magnetic, such as {{w|Irn-Bru}} (which has iron), although ''non''-magnetic iron is usually used. Magnetic metals in tea may have adverse consequences. In addition, consuming more than one magnetic source may end up squeezing tissues in the intestines or bowels, with potentially lethal consequences.
 |-
 | Ballistic
-| Usually, the replicated beverage is deposited in a stationary cup, but Picard could ask for it to be dropped or thrown out instead. Unless the good captain has a sufficiently quick reaction time and the dexterity to catch the projectile cup, the tea will likely end up spilled onto the floor or splattered against a wall, making the temperature setting of the tea a moot point.
+| Usually the replicated beverage is deposited within a stationary cup, but Picard could ask for it to be dropped or thrown out instead. Unless the good captain has a sufficiently quick reaction time and the dexterity to catch the projectile cup, the tea will likely end up spilled onto the floor or splattered against a wall. It could, however, be a novel method to counter intruders.
 |-
 | Unstable
-| This word is often used to refer to radioactive or explosive materials, which hopefully is not a property that would apply to something meant to be ingested. Alternatively, this could imply that the receptacle into which the tea is delivered should be unstable - being unbalanced, or lacking a flat bottom. This is likely to lead to the tea being spilled.
+| This word is often used to refer to radioactive or explosive materials, which hopefully is not a property of something meant to be ingested. Particularly concerning given that the world of ''Star Trek'' features a plethora of such substances, many of which are incredibly potent - for example, the tea could be made from antimatter, which would cause an explosion that could destroy the entire ship. Alternatively, this could imply that the receptacle into which the tea is delivered should be unstable - being unbalanced, or lacking a flat bottom. This is likely to lead to the tea being spilled.
 |-
 | Blessed
@@ Line 104: / Line 104: @@
 |-
 | Virtual
-| Virtual tea cannot be produced physically, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange. However, it might be useful on the holodeck, a device that can produce a virtual environment able to be interacted with.
+| In our (physical) world virtual tea cannot be exist, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange (and paradoxical). However, ''Star Trek'' features the Holodeck, which creates a virtual physically interactive environment made from "holo-matter", which is stated to be not the same as real matter (though not how).
 |-
 | Intravenous
@@ Line 110: / Line 110: @@
 |-
 | Expanding
-| In a sense, most hot tea is expanding: as the water in the tea evaporates, it becomes much less dense, increasing in "size".
+| In a sense, most hot tea is expanding: water (and thus tea), like most materials, expands as it increases in temperature. Water has the unusual property of {{w|Water_%28molecule%29#Density_of_water_and_ice|''contracting slightly''}} from 0° C to 4° C, but provided the tea is above that it would classify. Possibly beyond, and explosively so, if {{w|Superheating|superheated}} and then nucleating points are introduced.
 On the other hand, this tea may simply be tea spilled on the floor, which could then spread out as it evaporated.
 |-
@@ Line 125: / Line 124: @@
 | Cursed
 | As with "Blessed", above, items can be Cursed in role-playing games, i.e. having greater negative or lesser positive effects; while there are strategic uses for Cursed items, generally the player would prefer uncursed ones (neutral or blessed). Amongst curseable items are potions, a class of consumables that do not usually include any teas but does contain the "potion of water", which may therefore be the cause of this cursed cuppa.
 Cursed items have featured in xkcd previously: [[2332: Cursed Chair]], [[2376: Curbside]], and [[:Category:Cursed Connectors]].
 |-
 | Unexpected
@@ Line 139: / Line 139: @@
 |-
 | Infinite
-| The scope of this request is unclear. It could mean endless production (a steady stream of tea, without obvious limits so long as servicing the request remains practical), an instantaneous production of an infinite volume of tea (possibly more immediately shown to be flawed in its method of execution), or tea which will exceed the heat death of the universe. Either could result in an infinitely ''dense'' tea (eventually?), but this may no longer be {{w|No-hair theorem|identifiable as tea}} so might be one of the less practical options, even amongst those on this list.
+| The scope of this request is unclear. It could mean endless production (a steady stream of tea, without obvious limits so long as servicing the request remains practical), an instantaneous production of an infinite volume of tea (possibly more immediately shown to be flawed in its method of execution), or tea which will exceed the heat death of the universe. All could result in an infinitely ''dense'' tea (eventually?), but this may no longer be {{w|No-hair theorem|identifiable as tea}} so might be one of the less practical options, even amongst those on this list. Indeed, Randall ranks it as the least 'normal', except for just ''one'' further named order.
 |-
 | Tea for him, too
-| The comic ends its punchline by suddenly changing the syntax. Instead of adding a second adjective, Picard adds a second order of tea for an unseen guest. In ''Star Trek'', Jean-Luc Picard often offers tea to other people, so it is unclear why this would be the least normal, other than to place it at the bottom of the chart.
+| The comic ends its punchline by reinterpreting the syntax. Instead of adding a second adjective, Picard adds a second order of tea for an unseen guest. In ''Star Trek'', Jean-Luc Picard often offers tea to other people, so it is unclear why this would be the least normal, other than to place it at the bottom of the chart.
-The change in syntax can be further combined with the title text: now this Replicator order is for "Tea" (not otherwise qualified), plus a replicated version ''of'' the Earl Grey (one or other of those {{w|Earl Grey|of that name}}, possibly the {{w|Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey|2<sup>nd</sup> Earl}} for whom the tea blend was supposedly named), and a second such beverage for him to later drink. See more in the [[#Explanation|explanation]] above regarding the title text.
+The change in syntax can be further combined with the title text: now this Replicator order is for "Tea" (with no specifics as to kind, temperature, state or quality), plus a replicated version ''of'' the Earl Grey (one or other of those {{w|Earl Grey|of that name}}, possibly the {{w|Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey|2<sup>nd</sup> Earl}} for whom the tea blend was supposedly named), and a second such beverage for him to later drink. See more in the [[#Explanation|explanation]] above regarding the title text.
 |-
 ! colspan="2" | Words Picard could have seen in the first drawing, but which were not included as labels on the line

@@ Line 225: / Line 225: @@
 [[Category:Star Trek]]
 [[Category:Food]]
-[[Category:Comics featuring cursed items]] <!-- Optional subvariety of Earl Grey Tea -->
+[[Category:Comics with cursed items]] <!-- Optional subvariety of Earl Grey Tea -->

@@ Line 6: / Line 6: @@
 | titletext = We can ask the Earl for his order once he's fully extruded from the dispenser.
 }}
 ==Explanation==
@@ Line 218: / Line 217: @@
 :Infinite
 :Tea for him, too
 {{comic discussion}}

@@ Line 128: / Line 128: @@
 Cursed items have featured in xkcd previously: [[2332: Cursed Chair]], [[2376: Curbside]], and [[:Category:Cursed Connectors]].
-"Cursed items" are more vaguely defined in real life, making "cursed tea" something rare. However, it is possible for a drink to be [https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-know-if-my-drink-had-a-witchs-hex-potion hexed].
+"Cursed items" are more vaguely defined in real life, making "cursed tea" something rare.
 |-
 | Unexpected