Difference between revisions of "1032: Networking"

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
Jump to: navigation, search
(Reverted vandalism with User:CRLF/OneClickUndo.js)
(Reverted edit by anti-crap user)
Line 1: Line 1:
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{{comic
+
crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap 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| number    = 1032
 
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| date      = March 21, 2012
 
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| title    = Networking
 
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| image    = networking.png
 
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| titletext = Our company is agile and lean with a focus on the long tail. Ok, our company is actually a polecat I found in my backyard.
 
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}}
 
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==Explanation==
 
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Networking, in business, is the act of expanding your group of contacts in order to help your career down the line. Here, in this comic, [[Beret Guy]] meets {{w|Chief Technology Officer}} (CTO, an executive-level position overseeing the development of new technologies) Connr Clark (perhaps a typo for "Connor" or perhaps a reference to common "Web 2.0" names like the businesses {{w|Flickr}}, {{w|Tumblr}}, etc.). Beret Guy is as strange as he usually is: he introduces himself as a "business professional" rather than as someone with any kind of specific job, and then goes on to mention that he photocopied a burrito, which he presumably believes is the sort of thing business professionals do. He also has a business card; usually, this would contain contact information, but his only says "This is my business card". He calls his briefcase, or suitcase, a "handlebox", and it is full of a quarter of a million dollars in cash. (The source of this money is not discussed in this comic, but in [[1493: Meeting]], Ponytail says it "keeps appearing, but we have no idea how or why.")  Then Beret Guy proceeds to eat Connr's business card. Business cards are again mentioned in the title text of [[2277: Business Greetings]], also about one of Beret Guy's businesses. All of these things are not common behavior. {{Citation needed}}
 
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"Networking" is often an over-hyped, empty affair. There are many networking meetings of every description going on every day everywhere, and most people trade cards and continue to not make money. So that's the joke – Beret Guy does the networking {{w|schtick}}, badly, and yet is somehow making huge amounts of money at it.
 
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The comic is also likely a joke on the idea that many people are excited about becoming a "business professional" who carries a briefcase, hands out business cards, and makes tons of money, without having an adequate plan for how to make those things happen, or possibly even knowing what their actual job would be. Beret Guy never says what he does, simply introducing himself as a "business professional," and explains his piles of cash with "I am a business grown-up who makes business profits!" In this world —and in people's dreams— when you "grow up" and start a business, money magically appears. Obviously, that's not how it works.{{Citation needed}}
 
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The "Eusocial" in "Eusocial Media Ventures" is a reference to {{w|eusociality}}, the highest level of social cooperation found in the animal kingdom.  Eusocial animals (termites being a common example) cooperate together to raise their young, have different generations living in the same colony, and have specialized individuals for reproductive and non-reproductive tasks.
 
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The title text is a pun on three common business buzzwords: agile, lean, and long-tail. An agile business is one that can change course quickly based on customer demands and the business environment. A lean business is one with minimal inventory or assets; nothing is idle or warehoused, so everything is in active use or on the move. Long-tail describes the strategy of offering a large number of unique items with relatively small quantities sold of each – usually in addition to selling fewer popular items in large quantities. Netflix is a popular example of long-tail because they have (almost) every movie imaginable, including rare titles that only a few people would be interested in.
 
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And of course, the pun here is one animal that is agile and lean with a long ''tail'' is a {{w|polecat}}.
 
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Furthermore, although "agile" and "lean" do mean a quick, nimble, and efficient business, they also refer to specific practices, as in {{w|agile software development}}, {{w|lean manufacturing}} and {{w|lean Six Sigma}}. Many people think these terms have devolved to overused jargon. While agile development is supposed to be a highly-structured method to get programmers to produce more working code quickly, when someone from the marketing department says "''agile''" it often means "''We don't know what we're supposed to be producing, so we'll just chuck some stuff together, and keep those bits that the customer says he likes. We'll then do it all over again until we've got something that he'll pay for.''" "''Lean''" is supposed to mean that a business keeps its costs as low as possible, employing one person to do marketing and PR, not really having a Human Resources department, etc. But, in practice, it often becomes "''Keep as little stock as possible so that we don't have a lot of money tied up in it, and don't need a big warehouse; make stuff just before it is supposed to ship so that we don't have to store it either; make frequent prayers and virgin sacrifices to whatever gods we can find to ensure that nothing slips up anywhere along the line that our lawyers can't get us out of.''"
 
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Obviously, Beret Guy's business plan, [[1021: Business Plan]], worked. See also [[1117: My Sky]].
 
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==Transcript==
 
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:[A man approaches Beret Guy at a party and they extend arms to shake hands. Beret Guy is holding a metal briefcase. Ponytail is a waitress in the background, carrying a tray with a wine glass on it.]
 
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:Connr: I'm Connr Clark, CTO at Eusocial Media Ventures.
 
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:Beret Guy: I'm a business professional! Earlier I photocopied a burrito!
 
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:[Connr hands Beret Guy a business card. Beret Guy takes it and hands Connr another business card. Beret Guy has put his suitcase on the floor.]
 
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:Connr: You should check us out! Here's my card.
 
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:Beret Guy: Here's mine!
 
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:Beret Guy: Networking!
 
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:[Connr takes a closer look at the card, and Beret Guy holds up his case.]
 
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:Connr: ...this just says "This is my business card!"
 
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:Beret Guy: Do you like it? I have more in my handlebox.
 
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:[Beret Guy puts his case on a table and opens it to reveal it is full of cash. Connr looks on in shock.]
 
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:Connr: Uh, that's ok, I think I'll—
 
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:Beret Guy: Here, have ten of them!
 
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:Connr: —holy shit that thing is full of ''cash!''
 
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:[Connr raises his arms in excitement. Beret Guy turns to face him and chews on Connr's business card.]
 
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:Connr: Where did you ''get'' that?
 
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:Beret Guy: I am a business grown-up who makes business profits!
 
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:Connr: That's like a quarter of a million dollars!
 
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:Beret Guy: Yay! Business is fun!
 
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:Beret Guy: Do you have more of your cards? They're ''delicious!''
 
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{{comic discussion}}
 
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[[Category:Comics with color]]
 
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[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
 
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[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
 
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[[Category:Beret Guy's Business]]
 
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[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
 

Revision as of 19:04, 26 May 2022

crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap 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crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap 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