1620: Christmas Settings

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Christmas Settings


Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: May need improvement. Should there be two versions of why they cannot remember?
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

A "Universe Control Panel" would be a set of dials to control the universe. Two "universal" parameters are considered: where does Santa Claus enters houses through and, in the title text, what sound dogs make. It would be likely that such dials would be located outside our universe, not inside it.

Megan and Ponytail are looking at the Santa Claus dial. The dial has many settings; The one it's set to is the traditional chimney, but there are some other logical ones like the open window (Surprisingly not the door though), and increasingly weird and impossible ones ranging from the mail slot to the pores of one's skin.

As Megan approaches to get a better look however, she trips and catches herself on the Santa dial, messing it up. She asks what it was set to before so as to undo the mishap, but Ponytail forgets, so Megan simply guesses. Notably, we hear/read the dial only clicks twice, implying it has moved two positions; Megan had most likely set the dial to either "Kitchen faucet" or "Mail slot." Since she knows she has turned the dial, and she says she will now guess at the correct position, she will probably change it at least one click away from the position it is now in, so it is impossible to guess from the comic where she end up putting it. Since this comics was released on the 23rd of December, we are likely to find out in less than two days, if Santa comes out of the pores on our skin...

It is Ponytail who are showing Megan around. They have obviously been somewhere else, because Ponytail begins the comic by saying over here we have the universe control panel. She is thus showing the Santa dial as the first (of many dials) to Megan on the tour of the facilities. Thus Megan did not know of these before. The reason why Ponytail cannot remember to which option the dial was set before, is most likely because she is not part of our universe, but in the outside control room. She does thus not particularly care for what happens during Christmas on Earth, just one of a multitude of planet and stars that needs to be controlled from this control room. That we see this option as the first, is because this is a Christmas comic...

An alternative explanation for the reason Ponytail has forgotten, is that the universe has updated its settings to the latest selection, changing all previously existing folklore and memories in existence to match (meaning the two girls are part of the universe that they are in control of). Where previously it was widely known that Santa Clause entered through the chimney, it is now widely known that he enters through kitchen faucets or mail slots (depending on Megan's selection). This makes it impossible to remember what the original setting was. Of course if this happened then they would also have forgotten that it was changed, and Megan would now know what it is supposed to be now. So this explanation makes little sense...

The title text continues this by showing another ad-lib dial: "SOUND DOGS MAKE", ranging from the norm (barking) over "lightsaber noises" and speech to swearing. This is likely on another control panel (but could specifically be the sound a dog would make in response to Santa's entry, by whatever method?), but would give the same option of changing the expected vocal response of the dog away from (our norm of) barking. In popular culture, talking dogs are a commonly used trope; in contrast, swearing "dogs" are few, the most famous being Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog (a puppet, created by Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel and performed by the latter).

Options for Santa

Option Normal Entry/Exit for...
Chimney Santa Claus, characters in a victorian roof-top song and dance number and big bad wolves.
Open window Burglars and other criminals. Also often used as an exit by teenagers in movies and other film media.
Kitchen faucet Water.
Cat flap Domesticated cats and dogs.
Toilet Human waste and life-term prisoners.
Shower drain Dirty shower water.
Mail slot Letters, post cards and small presents.
Heating vents Hot air.
Bathroom mirror Candyman, Bloody Mary (see 555)
Pores of your skin Sweat leaving the body.


[Megan and Ponytail are walking over to a console, Ponytail points towards it. They are drawn in a panel that is only half the width of the next panel below]
Ponytail: Over here we have the universe control panel.
Ponytail: These dials, for example, control Christmas.
[A dial is shown. There is a label at the top and then there are ten settings, five symmetrically on the left and right side, but no setting straight up or down. It looks allot like the dial on a washing machine with different programs. The dial points towards the top left setting. All settings are labeled and there is a small line going to the point on the dial connected with each setting. The line at 3 and 9 o'clock are straight the other 8 are divided in two, where the first part goes horizontally and then bends either up or down, to end in the right position. Here the labele at the top and then the setting labels clockwise from top right, thus ending with the one the dial is set to:]
Santa enters houses through...
Shower Drain
Mail Slot
Heating Vents
Bathroom Mirror
Pores of Your Skin
Cat Flap
Kitchen Faucet
Open Window
[Ponytail is passing by this control panel looking back at Megan who trips and falls towards the console.]
Megan: Whoops!
Megans legs: Trip
[Megan catches herself on the dial of the control panel and accidentally turns the dial. Ponytail has taken her hands to her mouth.]
Dial: Click Click
[Megan is standing in front of the console looking at the dial, Ponytail is standing behind it.]
Megan: What was the Santa dial set to before?
Ponytail: I forget.
Megan: I'll just guess


  • In the original version of the comic Ponytail erroneously said: These dials, for example, controls Christmas.
    • This was soon changed to the current (and grammatically correct) version with out the "s" at the end of controls These dials, for example, control Christmas.
    • Thus proving that it was intended that there where more than one dial, we just see the one that Megan later changed by mistake for the sake of the joke of the comic.

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That's how Little Johnny killed Christmas, he left the tap running all night. --Jarfil (talk) 05:32, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

Pores of your skin?! As utterly horrifying as it sounds, it's probably the most effective of the bunch, considering that all the others might not exist/be blocked in some manner and in some houses. Bon (talk) 06:27, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

It actually shows how powerful Santa is: he is able to enter through chimney even into houses which do NOT have a chimney. (For example, see The Santa Clause, where Santa enters the chimney, then the central heating transforms to fireplace and Santa enters that way.) -- Hkmaly (talk) 19:22, 2 January 2016 (UTC)
The pores option is actually impossible to reach, as two clicks + two clicks will only get one as far as "toilet" or "bathroom mirror". 15:44, 23 November 2016 (UTC)

Swearing dogs are definitely a thing. 05:59, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

How'd I do for my first explanation on this site? VectorLightning (talk) 07:47, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

It was a great start. Keep it coming. Of course there will be many changes later, but I can see that some of yours original explain have survived the first edits since then ;-) --Kynde (talk) 15:57, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

"These dials, for example, controls..." - is this a mistake? "This dial, for example, controls..." or "These dials, for example, control" would make more grammatical sense. 09:35, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

I think that there is more than one dail controlling Christmas. sirKitKat (talk) 09:53, 23 December 2015 (UTC)
Then surely it should be "These dials, for example, control"? 10:13, 23 December 2015 (UTC)
You are correct and Randall has agreed and changed it to "These dials, for example, control Christmas" in the updated version. Good spotted. --Kynde (talk) 15:59, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

Probably could do with a table of the options and associations. Better than the following that I just drew up (and actually formatted as a table!):

Chimney - traditional (but not always practical) to our universe; also usable (to varying degrees of success) by Big Bad Wolves, adventurous burglars and adverse atmospheric/weather conditions;
Shower Drain - typical horror movie (supernatural or natural creature invasion), as well as back-flooding;
Open Window - more like a mundane burglar, or Hitchcock's 'The Birds';
Mail slot - 'mundane' magical alternative to fitting down the chimney, where there is no usable chimney (or horror movie, of various kinds); but raises the question of where the "with a special key that can open any door" option is, also, for Santa...
Kitchen Faucet - another horror movie (supernatural) or a technothriller plot (contaminated water supply);
Heating vents - another common alternative already given for those without a chimney/chimneyplace (or horror/technothriller fodder);
Cat Flap - another 'normal' alternative (which, again, does not exclude entry by various threats... or non-resident cats/non-cat pets/wildlife);
Bathroom Mirror - supernatural (especially 'bad magic');
Toilet - more traditionally rats or sewer-snakes, with reactions from "argh!" to "ewww...", depending on whether anybody is 'enthroned' at the time;
Pores Of Your Skin - very much... ewww... (as for (techno)horror threats, it's almost always someone else's skin and/or sweat that's dangerous, so your skin

(where you aren't the 'patient-zero' or revenant already) would be something pretty novel)

Great minds think alike, I've just gone ahead and done that Kev (talk) 12:16, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

Genre examples would be good. ...also, there is of course a direct reference to how our universe seems to have certain universal physical values (e.g. 'speed of light') that might well be different in alternate universes. Whether or not the 'physical constants' we currently know are the fundemental physical constants (rather than derivative of the actual constant(s) the universe started with), it appears that this control room has access to rather less fundemental 'fundementals' to it. Or assumes that Christmas and Santa (and also probably the various entryways, even when not used by Santa) are universals to the universe that always exist in some form, but perhaps differently configured, in alternate universes. 10:28, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

Someone thought these links were funny: {{W|Kitchen Faucet}} {{w|Bathroom Mirror}}. I removed the {{w}} template. 12:51, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

I was going to have a go with the table and make "normal use" and "irregular/fictional uses" columns, alongside the label items, but wikilinks on the items themselves would have made the first column less necessary, and wouldn't hurt (if done across the board). e.g. are cat-flaps as commonly known and understood outside of temperate areas (where a house isn't already handily perforated against the build-up of heat, but also need not be so sealed against the cold as to make a cat-flap a potentially harmful vent in the door that keeps the cold weather out) that we can be sure that future readers automatically know what one is? 13:47, 23 December 2015 (UTC)
I think in a table it is OK to have wiki links to all items, so as not to judge which are necessary. I will put them back. --Kynde (talk) 18:18, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

Could the title text refer to the (in)famous barking "Jingle Bells"? The Dining Logician (talk) 16:17, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

I do not think so as they still bark? I guess it is this you refer to though? (Trained Dogs Bark Jingle Bells Together. --Kynde (talk) 19:01, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

I would propose a different explanation of the comic. I believe Randall is suggesting that the default American explanation to children of how Santa is able to enter locked houses is logically unsatisfying and seemingly arbitrary, and that the universe would be able to function just as smoothly were that explanation to change without warning. Ponytail is unconcerned about the setting because she knows that it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. This is in line with 1268, where Randall implies that he would be more comfortable in an alternate universe in which lobsters were perceived as inedible instead of a delicacy. 16:37, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

I disagree, she is flustered when it happens as shown by Ponytail taking both hands up to her mouth. I would say she is distraught that she cannot remember. Probably her boss would be mad (the one who have made this control panel, and who would know the setting) if he found out. We do not see her response to Megan's suggestion that she will just guess... But I agree that it could be Randall's intention and also that it could be relevant to reference 1268: Alternate Universe --Kynde (talk) 18:18, 23 December 2015 (UTC)
That's a good point, but the tension is gone from Ponytail's body in the final panel and she doesn't say "I forget!". One might argue that she is momentarily concerned that Megan had injured herself, and that she relaxed when she realized that merely one of the constants of the universe had been changed. 18:32, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

Dail shifted two clicks, so now it is either on "Kitchen faucet" or "mail slot". Could be worse... If she gives it another 2 clicks in an attempt to put it back, it will end up on either "Chimney", "Toilet" or "bathroom mirror". Maybe it's best not to mess with it any further... -- 18:03, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

I feel the "two clicks" don't necessarily imply the dial has been moved two positions. It could simply mean the dial has been moved twice, making it even harder to guess where it was before the first move. It's also possible, in either event, that the dial has been set back to the original position - in which case, moving it again will definitely set it to something wrong! --Andrew Williams, 23:30, 23 December 2015 (GMT)

Maybe it's also a joke on real-life controls often having no clear "default" value (which, by the way, is sometimes the case for virtual controls as well)? 18:56, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

I think the real joke here is the title "christmas settings", a play on the word "settings". Ordinarily this would imply how one sets up the Christmas dinner, but here it is taken as computer term to tune how Christmas actually works in our universe. -- 21:14, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

It should be pointed out that if the change of the dial, as per the second option, changes the past of the universe to match, that there's nothing to indicate that the comic was not also affected. In fact, this makes sense as the gap at the top between options is indicative of dial styles that block the dial (such as with dials that have a maximum and minimum)because, as such, it makes sense that if ponytail slipped and pushed it, it would go as far as it could in the direction she fell into. This would indicate, with the two clicks, that the dial was originally on kitchen faucet. --Joshupetersen (talk) 19:25, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

I added to the 'speed of light' universal constant explanation, because it's "the speed that things like light go", and thus acts as an effectively unobtainable speed limit to everything not like light, rather than light's own specific speed-limit. Having a lower 'c' would not allow any more faster-than-c travel than we might already discover is possible. Also I find 'absolute zero' to be a wholey dubious candidate as a constant. Kelvin (and Rankine) gets set at a 'zero' that seems to be the point of absence of temperature/heat/energy (yes, I know they're not strictly the same, with temperature being the most incorrect term of them all, but I'm grouping them as common equivalent terms to a layperson) and, like Celsius (and Fahrenheit), has a unit spread according to an anthropocentricly decided 'range' and subdivisions. Other constants that affect the behaviour of water (or brine+ice/body temperature), including the atmospheric pressure we live under, would change the absolute value of the non-absulute measures but not change the zero value of the absolute measures. IYSWIM... 03:55, 24 December 2015 (UTC)

Technically, zero is ALSO constant. But universe where lowest possible heat energy is different from zero would likely be weirder than universe where the highest possible speed is finite - oh wait.
Note that universe constant is the triple point of water. The temperature of boiling water, freezing water or body temperature are properties of Earth, but triple point only depends on structure of water molecule. -- Hkmaly (talk) 19:22, 2 January 2016 (UTC)

The second explanation for why they cannot remember will make sense if you keep in mind that they would probably remember the ACTION of changing the dial. Even if they believe the dial is now in the correct position according to what they know (Considering that the universe has changed), they can still remember changing it, as indicated by them asking "what was the dial set to before?" Bon (talk) 06:35, 24 December 2015 (UTC)

You guys are missing something. If the universe was altered, then the dial was changed to Santa going down the chimney. So either the clicks changed it back, the universe was altered to where it was always pointing the chimney, or she guessed chimney as being the right one. Trlkly (talk) 22:01, 24 December 2015 (UTC)

I'm not sure I'm posting this in the right place, so please correct it if it's wrong. I think the title 'SOUNDS DOG MAKE' and the list of options between square brackets is evoking a config file from Dwarf Fortress, in which things are describe just like so... -- 14:17, 6 January 2016 (UTC)