1812: Onboarding

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'So we just have a steady flow of metal piling up in our server room? Isn't that a problem?' 'Yeah, you should bring that up at our next bismuth meeting.'
Title text: 'So we just have a steady flow of metal piling up in our server room? Isn't that a problem?' 'Yeah, you should bring that up at our next bismuth meeting.'


Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Much too descriptive
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This is another in the series of Beret Guy's mysterious business, in which he shows Ponytail around the building in which the company resides.

The first panel starts out as a typical welcome to a small indie business might start (often referred to as "onboarding" – hence the title of this comic). Very quickly, however, his explanation jumps to an existential viewpoint. Very rarely do conversations or introductions involve discussing the eventual fate of our bodies, and certainly not in a professional light as in this comic. Beret, however, has no problem with discussing death and decay as just part of his business. This seemingly contradicts the title text in Meeting, where it is claimed that employees of the company can not physically die.

In the second panel, Beret shows Ponytail the free bikeshare system this business apparently has in place. Bikesharing is a system in which many users share one or more bikes amongst themselves. Typically the bikes belong to some of the members of the group who are allowing them to be used by other members who may not have one, but Beret calmly remarks that this system will only exist "until whoever owns those bikes finds out", implying that they were not donated or shared by any member of the group, but are being used without permission or the knowledge of the true owner of the bikes.

In the third panel, Beret explains the Laserjet and the printer. This is a bit disconcerting, since the HP LaserJet is in fact a common brand of laser printer, suggesting that Beret's Laserjet may be some rather more exotic device, such as a laser-propelled jet aircraft. In any case, however, the printer is not available, as it's been printing an infinite-scroll web page since 2013. An infinite-scrolling web page is a web page that, as the name implies, seems to have no end. This style of webpage typically has no definite pages or sections, but instead continues to feed data to the screen as the user scrolls. In reality, trying to print one of these would only print the current section the user was viewing, and even if it was somehow able to infinitely print, the operator could easily cancel the operation at any time.

In the next panel, Beret makes a few more remarks. He claims that the restrooms are "all-digital -- no pipes." While many technology standards nowadays are entirely digital, one's restroom is one of the things that most definitely should not be. A restroom without pipes would have no way to transfer bodily waste, and would most certainly be at the very least an unpleasant encounter. The Wi-Fi is "very fast, but cursed." Fast Wi-Fi is certainly desirable, but in this case, Beret claims it is also cursed. Whether the curse is a side-effect of the fast Wi-Fi or totally unrelated is left unsaid, as well as what the curse is. This could possibly be a joke relating to some of the quirks of Wi-Fi. While all technology can behave inexplicably from time to time, Wi-Fi is notorious for randomly losing connection, which might be seen as a curse. Knowing Beret, though, it's probably literal.

He then explains that the server room is carbon-neutral. Normally, this would mean that it is designed to be environmentally friendly by reducing and offsetting its carbon emissions enough that it has not net effect on the environment. The term is a little bit confusing because the meaning is of course carbon-dioxide-neutral. But while carbon is not a common material used in servers bismuth is used as lead replacement in solder. While this replacement is often used because of the toxicity of lead in this case it refers to IBM mainframe computer where the Bi58Sn42 alloy is used because of its low temperature soldering characteristics. So producing bismuth would destroy all the electric connections in the server.

In the last two panels, Beret explains that Ponytail will be working on the infrastructure, which is apparently maintained by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Lin-Manuel Miranda, among other things, is a songwriter, but certainly not an engineer or anyone qualified to be responsible for an entire infrastructure. Ponytail clearly knows this and is surprised by this fact.

It is worth noting that Beret actually acknowledges the mistake here, claiming the mistake "cost a fortune." This is unusual for Beret, as he has of yet failed to acknowledge or recognize the oddity of every other aspect of his mysterious business, many of which are certainly stranger than this. However, he doesn't seem to mind this at all, as he quickly explains the bright side of having Lin-Manuel Miranda in his business, which is apparently that Lin-Manuel is nice and makes karaoke nights fun, referencing his songwriting ability.

Off screen, Lin-Manuel is heard singing "How Far I'll Go", which is a song that he composed for the recent Disney movie Moana.

The title text mentions the potential dangers of having your server room constantly produce bismuth, but only as a prelude to a bismuth/business pun.


Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.
[Beret Guy shakes hands with Ponytail in front of a building.]
Beret: Hi! Welcome to the team! We do business here and we'll turn into dirt later.
[Beret Guy and Ponytail walk by a set of bikes.]
Beret Guy: This is our main campus. We have a free bikeshare system, at least until whoever owns those bikes finds out.
Beret Guy: The LaserJet is over there, and the printer is over there. You can't use it right now; it's been printing an infinite-scroll webpage since 2013.
Beret Guy: Restrooms are all-digital -- no pipes. The WiFi is very fast, but cursed. Our server room is carbon-neutral but produces bismuth constantly.
Beret Guy: You'll be working on our infrastructure, which is currently maintained by Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Ponytail: ...the songwriter? Is he also an engineer?
Beret Guy: Nope, huge misunderstanding on our part. Cost a fortune. But he's really nice and it makes karaoke nights fun.
Lin-Manuel Miranda (off-screen): How far I'll gooo

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Discussion 04:29, 28 May 2017 (UTC) It should be Jabba Flow from The Force Awakens! "Ba Ba Boo Too Moony Moony..."

Carbon actually is used a lot in servers. Plastics, which are heavily used in electronics, are made of carbon chains. 14:05, 27 March 2017 (UTC)

Uff, Americans really say "carbon-neutral". Taking this literally and there is no greenhouse problem, only some black dirt... Nevertheless bismuth is an important element in electronics, not only IBM.--Dgbrt (talk) 08:43, 17 March 2017 (UTC)

Given that this is Beret Guy, it doesn't have to mean solder. It's entirely possible one of his mysterious shops has sold him a generator that burns bismuth powder or something; in which case "produces bismuth" would really mean releasing it into the atmosphere in the same was most power plants release carbon. Or some kind of nuclear process that does actually produce bismuth. Or maybe someone's told him to use a server once then recycle it, and due to not knowing what they're doing the recycling team has ended up with a massive surplus of one metal. All crazy options, but this is a guy who's plumbed soup into the electrical system, so… who knows? -- 13:42, 17 March 2017 (UTC)
Carbon is a solid like bismuth. No power plant releases carbon, this American inaccuracy about "carbon-neutral" is part of the joke because "carbon-dioxide-neutral" would be correct. More on bismuth see below.--Dgbrt (talk) 03:47, 18 March 2017 (UTC)
Fie. The oxygen in carbon-dioxide comes from the atmosphere and is returned to the atmosphere. The carbon in the carbon-dioxide, however is _added_ from another source by the power plant (similarly, in the reverse direction a plant removes carbon from the atmosphere into it's cells, but returns the oxygen from the carbon-dioxide). It's the carbon that's added or removed, the oxygen isn't relevant.

Considering Beret Guy has shown that he was able to get soup from an electric outlet, maybe those all-digital restrooms are actually able to digitize bodily waste to dispose of it easily.-- 08:52, 17 March 2017 (UTC)

Digital Restrooms - no pipes. You have to move the wase by hand, and a hand has fingers == digits? 10:09, 17 March 2017 (UTC)

Is it just me? Digital restrooms with no pipes together with the mention of cursed WiFi did remind me of those tubes the internet is made of [1]... ;-) --Felis Catus (talk) 11:04, 17 March 2017 (UTC)
Yes, that was my reaction also. 11:38, 17 March 2017 (UTC)

Lin-Manuel Miranda did some skits on PBS's The Electric Company. I suspect that is the reference to the mistake. 00:53, 18 March 2017 (UTC)


Might this be over complicating things a bit? Carbon is an element. Bismuth is another element, albeit a more improbable one.

That may be the only joke: they have no carbon footprint but instead spew massive amounts of bismuth, which what?

To suggest this is a joke about nuclear reactor technology or (very old) mainframe assembly technology seems to be a stretch. 14:20, 17 March 2017 (UTC) Skeptic

I'm inclined to agree with Skeptic; I actually think the sole point of using bismuth might have been to make the horrible pun in the alt-text. 15:09, 17 March 2017 (UTC) CGH

Antimony is used as a replacement for lead in common solder. Bismuth is used in low temperature solder. I have some coils of it somewhere on the desk here. (It's tough soldering to LEDs on star boards!) ExternalMonolog (talk) 14:35, 17 March 2017 (UTC)

TBH I was wondering if the bismuth/business joke was also a slight reference to Steven Universe, since the comic Hoverboard would indicate Randall is familiar with the show. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I read bismuth as a pun on bi-monthly (or bi-month) for short. Most teams within a business will have a regular meeting every week or fortnight - the latter happening (typically) twice a month. 'Business' sounds closer, but doesn't fit so well logically for me. -- Ray

I don't think the SU connection is very likely because there's no real connection made to the show. I think that the first mention is just for the surrealism of it producing something unrelated to (and much less common than) carbon, and the second just for the pun (which, if I'm honest, probably made me laugh harder than all the actual good jokes on xkcd over the years). (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I actually mentioned the SU thing because that specific pun (bismuth/business) is used several times by the character Bismuth. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

There are in fact two possibilities for the source of bismuth:

  • Since 2006 in the European Union the usage of lead is restricted (see: RoHS). Like many other manufacturers IBM adopts this regulations on its Baseline Environmental Requirements For Supplier Deliverables to IBM for "Lead in solders for servers, storage and storage array systems." A common replacement is bismuth. Furthermore tin-bismuth has the advantage of its low melting point when used as solder.
  • The smallest lead-bismuth cooled reactor Gen4 Energy would not fit into a server room. But a coal plant doesn't either so the statement needs some rework.

So both possibilities make sense but only the solder is actually in use. No such reactor is build yet, it's only a design proposal.--Dgbrt (talk) 03:47, 18 March 2017 (UTC)

I'd agree with those above to remove reference to bismuth coming from mainframe solder - that would be 'extracting,' not producing. Whatever the mechanism, IMO the reasons are for the pun and ... because bismuth is stunningly beautiful! Miamiclay (talk) 18:59, 18 March 2017 (UTC)

I'm amazed how far discussions can go to find the hidden meaning of a nonsensical sentence. Shirluban 12:27, 21 March 2017 (UTC)

I agree with Shirluban, LOL! Remember, this is Beret Guy. He often mentions impossible things. I understand this to mean that something about how the server works makes it literally magically eject pieces of bismuth. And so does (presumably) Ponytail, as she predicts that metal piles up in the server room, which Beret Guy confirms. It seems pointless to try to figure out how this could realistically happen, Beret Guy is by nature unrealistic. :)

As for "carbon-neutral", it's my understanding that this is a widely accepted shortcut for the term "carbon-dioxide-neutral", just that this shortcut has the unintended side effect of leaving less intelligent people unaware that the "dioxide" is implied, and therefore thinking there's something wrong with carbon itself. I'm certain that this comic by no means is referencing carbon - the solid metal - itself. - NiceGuy1 04:38, 22 March 2017 (UTC) I finally signed up! This comment is mine. NiceGuy1 (talk) 04:42, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

Maybe the turning to dirt bit is that all of Beret Guy's atoms turn into dirt. Like, Beret Guy will still be alive, but all of the atoms that were him a while ago have all been lost through pee or whatever, turning back into dirt. 19:41, 1 April 2017 (UTC)

Miranda mistake: This could be a reference to the UserFriendly webcomic, where Miranda Cornielle is one of the Techs. http://www.userfriendly.org/cartoons/miranda/ 18:18, 14 April 2017 (UTC)