Editing 2255: Tattoo Ideas

{{comic
| number    = 2255
| date      = January 15, 2020
| title     = Tattoo Ideas
| image     = tattoo_ideas.png
| titletext = The text ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US with a lengthy footnote explaining that I got this tattoo in 2020 and not, as you may assume, 2001, but offering no further clarification.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a list of potential {{w|tattoo}} ideas. Many of them play on the trope of regretting a tattoo by being tattoos of things that would not be useful outside of the immediate future, while others are simply ludicrous ideas with little functionality.

A tattoo by nature is designed to be permanent and difficult to change or remove.  A lot of the jokes below describe things that are designed to be impermanent and/or change frequently.

===Table of entries===
{|class="wikitable"
! Randall's text
! Explanation
|-
| Lorem Ipsum text
| {{w|Lorem ipsum}} is the beginning of and shorthand for a long section of shuffled-up Latin text. It is often used by both print and web designers as placeholder text until final contents are available. Having a Lorem ipsum tattoo would possibly suggest that the tattoo's text is a placeholder for a "final" tattoo. [https://i.pinimg.com/236x/cb/a3/78/cba3788d5839c6f6dc24fcb488a2d4e8.jpg A real Lorem Ipsum tattoo found on the web] may just be a photoshop made by a tattoo artist.
|-
| Email password
| Getting a tattoo of your {{w|password}} could compromise the security provided by your password. Additionally, it has sometimes been recommended and, in some cases, required to change passwords regularly; which would result in the tattoo either becoming out of date or needing to be updated (which could be difficult).
|-
| Graph of the popularity of tattoos over time, with the date I got the tattoo marked (Update regularly)
| This would likely take the form of a {{w|run chart}}, showing the continual rise and fall of tattoo popularity over time. [[Randall]]'s love of charts and graphs is [[:Category:Charts|a regular theme]] in the strip.

On the surface, getting a tattoo of a tattoo-themed chart would seem appealing. But a chart that tracks over time would become outdated within a few years, making it problematic for a (presumably permanent) tattoo. The solution to this appears to be a note to update the tattoo regularly, presumably as new data becomes available. This would require having the tattoo altered repeatedly, possibly every year; the artist would need to add on to the existing tattoo by extending the x-axis and the data.

Depending on the scale of the x- and y- axes, as well as the position and orientation of the graph on Randall's body, this might actually be feasible for Randall's entire lifetime. However, it would involve additional pain, expense, and time commitment. Maintaining this novelty tattoo for the rest of his life would seem excessive, but giving it up would once again mean he'd eventually be left with an outdated tattoo. 
|-
| "CHANGEME"
| Some systems use "changeme" as an initial password, with the expectation that the password will be changed before the system is used.  In programming, some text fields are initialized with "CHANGEME" to allow the programmer to get the program running for development purposes while making it obvious that the actual text needs to be written and inserted, similar to Lorem Ipsum.  This would be a very difficult operation to perform with a tattoo.
|-
| Slide rule markings on forearms
| A {{w|slide rule}} is a set of logarithmic scales that are used to perform mathematical calculations. This plays off of the idea of a [https://twitter.com/donttrythis/status/1084272599339753473 ruler tattoo], which might be useful for people who frequently need to measure lengths. Using a slide rule involves sliding the sections of the slide rule to align their markings, so a tattoo would be thoroughly useless.  However, Randall specifies the markings would be on his forearms (plural) and, by sliding both arms past each other, he could have a functioning (if awkward) slide rule.
|-
| EURion constellation, so no one can photocopy pictures of me
| The {{w|EURion constellation}} is a set of five circles in a roughly X-shaped pattern that is put onto lots of currencies. When this design is detected, many photocopiers will refuse to make a copy.
|-
| The sentence "It's what my tattoo says" written in another language
| Intended to provoke the question "What does your tattoo say?" from people not fluent in that language, thus resulting in an interesting or confused exchange  (similar to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M&t=41 Who's on First]).

In case Randall got it in Spanish it would say: ''Es lo que dice mi tatuaje''. So a friend comes up and asks: What does your tattoo say?" Randall replies: ''Es lo que dice mi tatuaje.'' Friend: What does it mean? Randall: It's what my tattoo says! Friend: Yes I know, but what does it mean?... 
|-
| Tissot's indicatrix
| {{w|Tissot's indicatrix}} is a matrix of circles placed on a map that change size and proportions (possibly turning into ellipses) based on map distortion. As a tattoo, that would be useful in tracking any distortion of the skin since you had the tattoo.
|-
| Summary of the [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/suffer-to-be-beautiful Snopes page on the tattoo epidural thing] (Lower back)
| The "tattoo epidural thing" is a mostly debunked medical concern that anesthesiologists attending women in labor would refuse to administer spinal anesthetic (which is injected through the lower back) by needle through the skin with tattoo ink, out of fear of introducing the ink into the spinal column.
|-
| Pre-surgical checklist
| Might come in handy if/when going in for surgery. For instance, there is the {{w|WHO Surgical Safety Checklist}}, which lists the things always to be performed during surgery.  Surgeons do [https://www.bmj.com/content/331/7512/s56 mark patients prior to surgery] to prevent "wrong site" surgeries ("Oh, it was the ''right'' hip that needed replacing..."), but getting such markings as a tattoo would be unnecessary at best and dangerously misleading at worst.
|-
| Tattoo artist's Social Security number
| In the US, a {{w|Social Security number}} (SSN) is a unique, nine-digit number assigned by the federal government to citizens and other legal residents. The original purpose of these numbers was to track Social Security accounts, for collecting taxes and the payment of federal benefits. In practice, it is also widely used in other contexts in which an individual needs to be identified, including applications for loans, employment, and identity papers.  As opposed to many of the other ideas, SSNs [https://faq.ssa.gov/en-US/Topic/article/KA-02220 usually] aren't changed once assigned (often at birth), and neither is the design vulnerable to skin deformation. Thus, the tattoo typically continues to represent valid information for a very long time.

However, learning someone's SSN is often a critical step in {{w|identity theft}} because it is so widely used.  People are often warned to safeguard their numbers and be very cautious about revealing them. Tattooing one's SSN on a customer would mean that both the customer and anyone who happened to see his tattoo in the future would have access to it. That would be a wildly reckless move that very few tattoo artists would be willing to make.{{Citation needed}} 
|-
| Boarding pass for an upcoming flight
| A {{w|boarding pass}} is a document used to identify those who are authorized to ride in a particular airline flight.  Usually issued shortly before the flight.  Useful only once, therefore not a normal design to have tattooed.
|-
| Recap of the plot of ''Memento''
| ''{{w|Memento (film)|Memento}}'' is a 2000 film in which the protagonist suffers from {{w|Anterograde amnesia|anterograde amnesia}}, a condition that prevents him from creating any new long-term memories.  One of the tools he uses to mitigate the issue is tattooing important things on his body.
|-
| This list, in its entirety
| Instead of getting a tattoo of anything listed here, the actual list itself would be the tattoo.
|-
| The text ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US with a lengthy footnote explaining that I got this tattoo in 2020 and not, as you may assume, 2001, but offering no further clarification. (title text)
| Likely a reference to [[286]]. "{{w|All Your Base Are Belong to Us}}" is a broken English phrase found in the opening cutscene of the 1992 Mega Drive/Genesis port of the 1989 arcade video game ''Zero Wing''. The use of this line (and others from the same game) became a popular internet meme for a short time in the early 2000s.

Having a meme tattooed on your body will make many people assume that you got the tattoo when the meme was popular, not considering that it would become dated and obscure within a few years.  To correct this, [[Randall]] proposes adding a lengthy footnote explaining that he got the tattoo in 2020, decades after its peak popularity. In addition to the oddness of adding a footnote to a tattoo, this would raise additional questions about why someone would tattoo themselves with an extremely outdated meme.  The deliberate decision to add no further explanation suggests that raising but not resolving the question is part of the appeal. 
|}

==Transcript==
:[A list with an underlined heading and then 14 items, the first 13 being struck out with a red line. The red lines are straight through the center of the text if the item is only on one line. The red lines are curly up and down if the items take up more than one line on the list. The last item has a red line around it in an ellipse.]

:<u><big>Tattoo Ideas</big></u>
:Lorem Ipsum Text
:Email password
:Graph of the popularity of tattoos over time, with the date I got the tattoo marked (update regularly)
:"Changeme"
:Slide rule markings on forearms
:Eurion constellation, so no one can photocopy pictures of me
:The sentence "it's what my tattoo says" written in another language
:Tissot's Indicatrix
:Summary of the Snopes page on the tattoo epidural thing (lower back)
:Pre-surgical checklist
:Tattoo artist's social security number
:Boarding pass for an upcoming flight
:Recap of the plot of ''Memento''
:This list, in its entirety

{{comic discussion}}

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