Editing 2779: Exoplanet High-5

{{comic
| number    = 2779
| date      = May 22, 2023
| title     = Exoplanet High-5
| image     = exoplanet_high_5_2x.png
| imagesize = 515x582px
| noexpand  = true
| titletext = Tau Ceti is farther away, so it took me 36 years to start the war over updog.
}}

==Explanation==
''Up high, down low, too slow'' is a {{w|High five#Too_slow|prank variant of a High five}}. In the comic, Earth has established communications with aliens living on {{w|Proxima Centauri b}}, the nearest exoplanet to Earth according to current knowledge, and [[Randall]] has taught them about a high-five.

Instead of physically slapping hands, the high-five is executed by transmitting messages, as in a {{w|Handshake (computing)}}. The diagram in the comic is thus similar to a {{w|sequence diagram}}, one usually employed for describing network communication in computing. As the messages travel at the speed of light and Proxima Centauri b is over 4 light years away, the times in the diagram are measured in (Earth-)years. This is a very slow method of communication – a perfect setup for a "too slow" prank. We can also see that they are taking around <sup>1</sup>/<sub>50</sub>th of a year (approximately an Earth-week) to cue up their considered response, yet clearly Cueball seems quite ready to respond in about half that time (though any quicker would get lost, and appear simultaneous, at the given precision of decimal places).

Having found this way of exchanging a high-five with aliens, Randall successfully pranks the aliens by sending the "too slow" message before their "Low-5" message ''can'' even arrive on Earth, and over an Earth-month before it actually does. This is similar to how, in the original prank, the prankster anticipates the provoked reaction and pulls their hand away after the victim started to move but before the "Low-Five" can taken place.

The aliens do not take kindly to being pranked and start an interstellar war, presumably intending to invade Earth. It is not known at which speed the Centaurians' invasion fleet travels and, therefore, when it will reach Earth. The [[wikipedia:Spatial scale|scale]] of the fleet is also unknown, and with good fortune, it may again prove to be [https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/G%27Gugvuntts microscopic].

The title text refers to another prank, in which the prankster gets the victim to ask "What's updog?" (which sounds like "What's up, dawg?"). Tau Ceti is a star almost 12 light years away. The exchange might have gone like this:
* t=0y: ''Randall:'' Hey, do you think it smells like updog in here?
* t=12y: ''Aliens:'' What's updog?
* t=24y: ''Randall:'' Nothin', what's up with you?
* t=36y: ''Message received, Aliens start war''
"Updog" was previously introduced in [[1696: AI Research]].
This is an example of a type of joke called a [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatsAHenway henway].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Earth:
* t=0.0y - "Up high" message sent
:Proxima Centauri b:
* t=4.25y - Message received - discussion -
* t=4.27y - High-5 reply sent
:Earth:
* t=8.52y - Reply received
* t=8.53y - "Down low" message sent
:Proxima Centauri b:
* t=12.77y - Message received - discussion -
* t=12.79y - Low-5 reply sent
:Earth:
* t=16.94y - "Too slow" message sent
* t=17.03y - Reply received
:Proxima Centauri b:
* t=21.19y - Message received
* t=21.26y - Invasion fleet launched


:[Caption below the panel:]
:21 years and 3 months after I taught the aliens about high-5s, the war began.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Aliens]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]