320: 28-Hour Day
Title text: Small print: this schedule will eventually drive one stark raving mad.
The 28-Hour Day is a modified sleep schedule proposed to accommodate the discrepancy between the earth's day-night cycle and certain people's preferred sleep schedules. It discards the traditional notion of sleeping at night and replaces it with sleeping when it is more convenient for weekend parties and mid-week insomnia. It is also the only reasonable and consistent alternative day length that will sync with the widely accepted and practiced 168-hour week (168 = 7×24 = 6×28), with the arguable exception of eight 21-hour days. Underneath the weekly timeline, Cueball describes the schedule's selling points to his friend, who apparently has difficulty sleeping.
Cueball's friend shows little interest in this idea, and instead resorts to low-quality "your mom" jokes. Cueball merely bides his time, and in the end successfully trumps the jokes with a response that impugns his friend's sexual stamina, leading him to concede defeat.
The title-text uses "Small print" to mean "Disclaimer" and relieves the idea's creator of any responsibility in the case that it is tried and the tester finds the schedule to be a really bad idea.
|28-Hour Day Schedule|
|Day||Time||28-Hour Schedule||Normal 24 hour day|
|Sunday||12:00 AM||Normal night from 6 PM to 6 AM|
|Sunday||6:00 PM||Normal night from 6 PM to 6 AM|
|Monday||6:00 PM||Normal night from 6 PM to 6 AM|
|Tuesday||6:00 PM||Sleep||Normal night from 6 PM to 6 AM|
|Wednesday||6:00 PM||Normal night from 6 PM to 6 AM|
|Thursday||6:00 PM||Normal night from 6 PM to 6 AM|
|Friday||6:00 PM||Normal night from 6 PM to 6 AM|
|Saturday||6:00 PM||Normal night from 6 PM to 6 AM|
- [There is a diagram that shows the hours in a week. It has sections labelled "bed" and below has sections labeled "night." They do not line up.]
- [Two men are talking together.]
- Cueball: You have trouble sleeping right?
- Friend: Only when your mom is over.
- [Cueball is now pointing to a chart.]
- Cueball: Since your work is flexible-
- Friend: -Like your mom-
- Cueball: -you should try the 28-hour day - 20 awake, 8 asleep (or 19/9 if you prefer).
- Friend: I prefer your mom.
- Cueball: It synchs up with the week - you spend weekdays awake normally, then on weekends you can go out all night.
- Friend: Just like your mom.
- Cueball: It means four extra hours daily. You can stay up until you're exhausted every day and then spend a full 9 hours asleep each night!
- Friend: But how much time can I spend doing your mom?
- Cueball: You? I'm guessing three or four minutes, tops.
- Friend: ...Well played.
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