388: Fuck Grapefruit

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Fuck Grapefruit
Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.
Title text: Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.


Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: A large portion of this explanation is waffle, and not even the tasty kind... Needs rewriting to be more succinct, perhaps moving the comments on individual fruits to an additional column in the table, or removing some of the less relevant ones completely.
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This comic consists of a chart where Randall has plotted fruits according to two criteria: ease/difficulty to eat, and tastiness. For instance, pineapples are deemed fairly tasty but very difficult to eat, whereas (seeded) grapes are very tasty and somewhat easy, and logically seedless grapes are just about equally tasty while being far more easy at the same time.

Obviously being easy to eat is preferable to being difficult, and being tasty is preferable to being untasty, so the "best" fruits (regarding these two aspects only) are in the top-right corner, and the worst in the bottom-left one; additionally, in the top-left corner are the "difficult-but-worthy" fruits, and in the bottom-right one, the "not-so-tasty-but-easy-anyway" ones.

According to the resulting chart, grapefruit is the third hardest fruit to eat as well as the second most untasty fruit (from the ones listed at least) - see the Table. Eating one of them is like spending too much of one's time and energy without much reward. Hence Randall's quip in the title: "Fuck grapefruit".

From the chart/table it is also clear that peaches are among Randall's favorite fruit as it is the one deemed most tasty and it is far more tasty than the four fruits that are deemed easier to eat.

The title text brings coconuts into the equation. As Randall puts it, they are far more difficult to eat (especially to open) than the usual mainstream fruits such as the ones plotted here, and once open Randall doesn't even like the taste. Therefore, they could not even fit on the chart because they are too far in the bottom-left corner. Having spent half an hour trying (in vain?) to open a coconut, Randall has superseded the previous "worst fruit" in the title: "Fuck coconuts".

Although it has "nut" in its name, the coconut is actually a stone fruit and thus belongs on a chart of fruit. Along these lines of thought, many would claim that the tomato is a vegetable. In the botanical sense however, it is actually a fruit (or a berry - but Randall has already included for instance blueberries). But then he might as well have included a cucumber which in this sense is also a fruit. See for instance the description on this List of culinary fruits. The strawberry is actually not a berry but an accessory fruit, like many of the other fruits on the chart.

It is clear from this chart that Randall is not much into any kind of citrus fruit. Although it would have been interesting to see where he would have placed the more sweet and often much more peel-able mandarin and especially the hybrid clementine. (This could resemble the comparison of seeded vs. seedless grapes - and why are the seeded grapes more tasty?). It is a mystery why he would think that a lemon is easier to eat (or peel) than an orange. And whereas it is clear that a knife is needed to begin eating a pineapple, thus making this very difficult to eat, one could also say the same for watermelon! So why should he consider this easier to eat than for instance oranges, that are fairly easy to peel? Similarly, it seems weird that he thinks that bananas are rather difficult to eat, as they are among the most easily peel-able fruit. However, the eater is left with a rather large peel, that one should not just drop in nature or on a street (where people always slip on them...) Maybe this explains that they should be more difficult to eat? Many would also think that fruits containing a stone/pit such as peaches and cherries would be more annoying; however, this clearly not the case for Randall, and this comic reflects his personal opinions - see below.

As evident from the above paragraph, and according to FRUIT OPINIONS! on the Blag, this was the most controversial comic written to this point, beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet.


The comic shows an X-Y plot of fruit, showing tastiness on the vertical axis and difficulty-of-consumption on the horizontal axis. The Y-axis goes from "tasty" at the top, to "untasty" at the bottom. The X-axis goes from "easy" on the right to "difficult" on the left.

Below is a table listing the coordinates for each fruit according to how tasty it is and assuming that the extremes of each axis goes from -100% to 100% (untasty = -tasty and difficult = -easy). Note that this does not agree with the title text since coconuts would be off the charts. However the extremes for both tasty and untasty as well as for easy and difficult are equally far from the main axis.

The coordinated have been found by measuring each fruit from the center of the drawing (not center of mass, but center from left to right/top to bottom) to the two axes. The axes are hand drawn which is clearly visible. The numbers have been obtained be measuring to the nearest point of each axis, not taking into account that the axes are not perfect straight perpendicular lines.

Tastiness Easiness Fruit
100% 68% Peaches
85% 13% Seeded grapes
75% 75% Strawberries
72% 100% Seedless grapes
68% -100% Pineapples
58% 87% Blueberries
38% 42% Cherries
37% 66% Pears
22% 79% Green apples
17% 59% Plums
15% -20% Watermelons
-12% 79% Red apples
-18% 16% Bananas
-20% -85% Pomegranates
-46% -49% Oranges
-74% 26% Tomatoes
-86% -75% Grapefruit
-100% -15% Lemons


[An X-Y plot of fruit where both axises have arrows in both ends. At the end of each arrow is a label.]
[The X-axis from left to right:]
[The Y-axis from top to bottom:]
[The fruit names are listed here below from top to bottom according to the how tasty the fruit is, not necessarily in the same order that the names are written if one fruit is tall/large and the other low:]
Seeded grapes
Seedless grapes
Green apples
Red apples

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Why are seeded grapes deemed more tasty than seedless grapes? Them seeds taste awful and bitter when you accidentally bite into them. Davidy22 (talk) 12:22, 14 October 2012 (UTC)

This is just my subjective opinion, but the presence of seeds wouldn't affect the tasty-untasty axis, but the difficulty axis. The actual fruit tastes the same, but having to remove the seeds is an issue of eating the fruit. That said, not sure why they're HIGHER on the tasty axis.
Yeah! And red apples are clearly more tasty than green (unless you're using them for cooking), and bananas are the tastiest fruit ever! In other words, it's all subjective. (You might argue that the seeds add to the flavour, much like a small amout of fat in meat; obviously the fact that they're less easy implies pulling all the seeds out first to make sure you don't bite one.) 10:34, 28 November 2012 (UTC)
Seedless grapes (and seedless versions of other fruits) are often considered to be slightly less tasty than their seeded counterparts because a compromise was made: putting all efforts toward being tasty and easy to grow, versus dividing the effort between those and making them seedless. Additionally, some seedless fruits (including certain brands or breeds) are simply less mature versions of their seedless equivalent (this is part of why some bunches of seedless grapes have seeds in many of the fruits, albeit smaller and/or fewer seeds than the seeded equivalent). It's also possible that the y-axis difference between the two was unintentional, but there's enough of a difference that I'm strongly in favor of interpreting it as intentional. JET73L (talk) 17:34, 8 February 2013 (UTC)

I disagree with the placement of bananas and pears. They are both really easy and reasonably tasty (although taste is a matter of personal preference). 21:54, 11 March 2013 (UTC)

Problem is, pomegranates burn calories instead of adding to them. Unless you get pre-picked. There should be a third axis, but alas, with a webcomic, it is not possible. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Fyi to open a coconut, do not smash a rock against the coconut, smash the coconut against the rock! 14:30, 26 July 2013 (UTC)

A rock? Is this a deserted island scenario you're describing? Most households have something called a hammer. Tharkon (talk) 03:24, 23 November 2013 (UTC)
A hammer? Is this a woodwork shed scenario? ;) A professional coconut opener uses one or two strokes from the blunt side of a machete on the equator of the coconut. I still agree with Randall on the difficulty, though. More specialized equipment is neeeded to separate the copra. And it's not tasty either.Mumiemonstret (talk) 09:05, 17 June 2014 (UTC)
Not unless you eat an Almond Joy! ...Unless you're allergic to nuts that is. In that case, you might never get to try an Almond Joy. (Dang it... now I want one. xD) --JayRulesXKCD (talk) 15:04, 15 September 2016 (UTC)
Mounds bar-- 03:48, 11 October 2016 (UTC)
Well, yes, there's that. The only problem = same with the "beer" comic, dark chocolate isn't that good. Should it be safe to just say we're pretending to like it? Because everyone I know (including me) think it doesn't taste good. --JayRulesXKCD (talk) 11:12, 11 October 2016 (UTC)

Is there a program do make charts looking like these? With the little pictures in the chart. RecentlyChanged (talk) 13:26, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Yes. The program is called "Paper and Pencil; and something to color them."SarcasticMoe (talk) 25:61, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

The transcript needs fixing. It is currently inaccurate in places, like, for example, strawberries in the comic are placed below seeded grapes on the tastiness axis, but the transcript says that strawberries are tastier than seeded grapes. Also, the transcript is missing seedless grapes. 03:48, 23 December 2013 (UTC)

I have changed the transcrip so that the explanation part is removed. And this part I have now added as a table and in this corrected the numbers so strawberries and grapes are in the correct order etc. At the same time I made many other corrections and improvements for the entire explanation. --Kynde (talk) 10:22, 12 January 2015 (UTC)

While I disagree with the rating in tastyness... Then it is true that bananas is more difficult to start eating than fruit without peel - like pears. However, bananas are very easy to peel! And you do not get sticky as with a fresh pear. I thus think it is easier to eat bananas than pears because of that.Kynde (talk) 07:30, 29 March 2014 (UTC)

It's all subjective anyway. I, for example consider bananas to be more tasty than pears. Tharkon (talk) 20:09, 8 August 2014 (UTC)

The problem with bananas which adds to their difficulty is that you have a rather large peel. You can't get away with just tossing your peel anywhere, too. Someone might slip on them. 19:58, 7 January 2015 (UTC)

I can't believe nobody has stuck up for the deliciousness of by far the most underrated fruit on this chart, tomatoes. 03:05, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

the sugarfree dwarf watermelon? Lysdexia (talk) 06:35, 5 January 2019 (UTC)
Guess, what?

Coconuts: x=-Little Bigeddon%, y=-Little Bigeddon%. 07:46, 21 February 2018 (UTC)