398: Tap That Ass

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Tap That Ass
Hey, when you're done draining the syrup, just leave the hole, okay?
Title text: Hey, when you're done draining the syrup, just leave the hole, okay?

Explanation

This comic uses verbal irony to exploit the application of double meanings. The phrase "tap that ass" is a colloquialism for "to have intercourse with aforementioned someone" and is most likely how the reader expects the phrase to be used. However, throughout the comic, this is not the case.

In the first panel, it is possible that Cueball is using "tap that ass" sexually. However, it is also possible that he is using "tap" to mean "borrow money from", in which case he would be willing to borrow money from someone and use that to extort the position as committee chair. "That ass" refers to one of the individuals in the meeting room.

In the second panel, "tap" is referring to wiretapping. It is possible that it is being referenced in a sexual manner, but makes much less sense that the wiretapping explanation. "That ass" refers to the person on the telephone.

In the third panel, "tap" is referring to extracting sap from trees. A sexual connotation would make no sense in this context. "That ass" refers to the maple tree.

In the final panel, Cueball attempts to take the scenario from the third frame and interpret it sexually, showing how absurd it would be to assume "tap that ass" always refers to having intercourse.

Cueball is not the same individual throughout the frames of this particular comic.

Transcript

[Man in a hallway looking in on a board meeting.]
I'd tap that ass
To be the new committee chair.
[Man wearing headphones with a briefcase and a laptop. Another man on a telephone.]
I'd tap that ass
Without a warrant.
[Man with his hand on his chin, looking at a tree.]
I'd tap that ass
And extract delicious maple syrup.
[Man standing in a blank frame.]
I'd have sex
With that tree.


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Discussion

no, "tap" in the first frame means "pick," as in, "today the mayor tapped Mike Smith to be interim head of the planning department." No idea where you got the borrowing money bit from. MR (talk) 22:27, 5 March 2013 (UTC)MR

Agreed. Someone who is better at life than us should correct it.--JSekula71 (talk) 20:29, 27 April 2013 (UTC)
Also agreed. I've changed it, but it could be better :-) Mark Hurd (talk) 02:35, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
Changed the explanation about the first panel and mentioned the title text at the end, but it really could be better:D 141.101.97.215 05:21, 23 April 2014 (UTC)

It should be known that "xkcd: Volume 0" includes a continuation of this comic in which Cueball has sex with the tree and eventually a child. 108.162.217.17 16:22, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

It does not seem like the final panel is trying to show the absurdity of assuming "tap that ass" to be sexual. It is just continuing the joke by explicitly stating "tap that ass" in regards to the third panel. Flewk (talk) 00:59, 28 December 2015 (UTC)

I agree. This can be doubly confirmed by looking at the title text which confirms Cueball in the fourth panel really does wants sex with the tree. Ralphsd (talk) 20:01, 12 January 2016 (UTC)
If you do have sex with a tree, won’t it be painful? Bugs living inside might attack your soft bits, you might have splinters, and don’t even get me started on lubrication. 42.book.addict (talk) 18:20, 6 February 2024 (UTC)

The current explanation for the second panel is that "tap that ass" is either meant sexually or at the guy who is at the phone. However, if you actually look at what's happening you can see that the person speaking is actually done wiretapping and is now unplugging his headphones from his laptop. This means the guy at the phone is most likely a police officer and the wiretapper is his colleague. Ralphsd (talk) 20:01, 12 January 2016 (UTC)