415: Restraining Order
Title text: On Mondays I go running, so you'll have to get up early and follow along a parallel street. What fun!
A restraining order is a legal injunction requiring a party to do, or refrain from doing, certain acts, under penalty of fines or imprisonment, designed to safeguard the complainant's life. In general the forbidden act is virtually always contacting the complainant in any way, and enforcing they remain a minimum distance from the complainant is given far less gravitas and emphasis than media usually portrays.
However, Ponytail has taken the concept into the realm of the absurd, issuing a restraining order against Cueball that requires him to stay between 500 yards (~457 m) and 600 yards (~549 m) of her at all times. Needless to say, will cause a major disruption to his life; the title text gives an example in which he is forced to imitate her jogging routine just to avoid breaking the order. What isn't explained is how Cueball can possibly keep himself within the ring if she happens to travel by airplane or ferry. This is why maximum distances are never enforced in real life; such an order would grant the complainant carte blanche to unjustly manipulate the defendant.
A yard is a unit of length used in the UK and the United States, 1 yard = 0.9144 metres.
- [Cueball and Ponytail stand facing one another. Both hold sheets of paper. Cueball holds a restraining order, while Ponytail holds a map with two concentric circles drawn on it.]
- Not content with normal restraining orders, my ex got creative.
- Cueball: Wait... I can't get closer than 500 yards of you... or more than 600 yards away?
- Ponytail: You'll have to move somewhere within this ring.
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