Difference between revisions of "494: Secretary: Part 1"

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(Explanation)
Line 28: Line 28:
 
==Transcript==
 
==Transcript==
 
:Spring 2009- The new president faces a crisis...
 
:Spring 2009- The new president faces a crisis...
:[Man is talking to an unseen Mr. President, who is sitting behind a desk.]
+
:[Cueball is talking to an unseen Mr. President, who is sitting behind a desk.]
:Man: Mr. President, the bloggers are restless
+
:Cueball: Mr. President, the bloggers are restless
 
:Mr. President: What are they a-twitter about now?
 
:Mr. President: What are they a-twitter about now?
  
:Man: It's the tubes sir. They're clogged. We put too much stuff on them.
+
:Cueball: It's the tubes sir. They're clogged. We put too much stuff on them.
  
 
:Mr. President: How bad is it?
 
:Mr. President: How bad is it?
:Man: The internet could be inoperative within days.
+
:Cueball: The internet could be inoperative within days.
  
:Man: We can't let a crucial resource go unshepherded.
+
:Cueball: We can't let a crucial resource go unshepherded.
 
:Mr. President: Go on.
 
:Mr. President: Go on.
  
:Man: I recommend you appoint a Secretary of the Internet. Someone to impose some orders on this mess.
+
:Cueball: I recommend you appoint a Secretary of the Internet. Someone to impose some orders on this mess.
  
 
:Mr. President: Ordering bloggers around? Doesn't sound easy.
 
:Mr. President: Ordering bloggers around? Doesn't sound easy.
:Man: No; it's like herding lolcats.
+
:Cueball: No; it's like herding lolcats.
 
:Mr. President: What?
 
:Mr. President: What?
:Man: Nothing.
+
:Cueball: Nothing.
  
 
:Mr. President: Do you have someone in mind for the post?
 
:Mr. President: Do you have someone in mind for the post?
:Man: I know just the guy.
+
:Cueball: I know just the guy.
  
 
:Soon:
 
:Soon:
 
:Phone: <<Ring>>
 
:Phone: <<Ring>>
:[Man-with-hat looks away from his computer at the ringing phone]
+
:[Black Hat looks away from his computer at the ringing phone]
  
 
{{comic discussion}}
 
{{comic discussion}}

Revision as of 07:07, 16 November 2012

Secretary: Part 1
The blueprints for the Department of the Internet offices call for Ceiling Cat-themed sprinkler heads.
Title text: The blueprints for the Department of the Internet offices call for Ceiling Cat-themed sprinkler heads.

Explanation

The President of the United States of America is the head of the United States of America. The tubes being clogged is a reference to the, now deceased, Alaska Senator Ted Stevens who, during a congressional debate on net neutrality described the Internet as a series of tubes (be sure to listen to the audio clips in that Wikipedia page, and you'll see why he became a big hit with the Internet). Ted Stevens also gained notoriety for backing a proposal to build a bridge to nowhere using federal funds.

Cats are notorious for being hard to herd, thus the idiom "herding cats" meaning an extremely difficult task that can very quickly get away from anyone undertaking it. Lolcats are pictures of cats, usually in humorous poses, that have insipid captions on them. The conflation of Lolcats and the herding idiom escaped the president (who is presumably somebody not savvy to either or both terms.) The title text refers to Ceiling Cat, a lolcat parody of God.

As with cats, Bloggers are an ideologically diverse bunch, and are hard to get to go in a single direction.

The proposed "Secretary of the Internet" would likely be a new position on the President's Cabinet, which currently consists of 15 Departments, each headed by a Secretary. (Where the hypothetical secretary would fit on the line of succession is unknown.)

All comics in the Secretary series:

This series was released on 5 consecutive days(Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

Transcript

Spring 2009- The new president faces a crisis...
[Cueball is talking to an unseen Mr. President, who is sitting behind a desk.]
Cueball: Mr. President, the bloggers are restless
Mr. President: What are they a-twitter about now?
Cueball: It's the tubes sir. They're clogged. We put too much stuff on them.
Mr. President: How bad is it?
Cueball: The internet could be inoperative within days.
Cueball: We can't let a crucial resource go unshepherded.
Mr. President: Go on.
Cueball: I recommend you appoint a Secretary of the Internet. Someone to impose some orders on this mess.
Mr. President: Ordering bloggers around? Doesn't sound easy.
Cueball: No; it's like herding lolcats.
Mr. President: What?
Cueball: Nothing.
Mr. President: Do you have someone in mind for the post?
Cueball: I know just the guy.
Soon:
Phone: <<Ring>>
[Black Hat looks away from his computer at the ringing phone]


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Discussion

Having black hat as the secretary of the internet is humorous in how bad of an idea it is. Beanie (talk) 14:13, 26 March 2021 (UTC)

He may be able to have power over trolls and suchlike, but otherwise a bad idea. Beanie (talk) 14:14, 26 March 2021 (UTC)