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Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Sports Champions
For a long time, people thought maybe Usain Bolt was the one for running, until the 2090s and the incredible dominance of Derek Legs.
Title text: For a long time, people thought maybe Usain Bolt was the one for running, until the 2090s and the incredible dominance of Derek Legs.

Explanation

Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by a HARRY "INCOMPLETE" EXPLANATION - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.

In an example of nominative determinism, the comic lists people whose surname relates to their participation in various sports. It is presented as though it was created in the far future, reflecting on champions over the decades through to the 2080s. The first three are real sportspeople, the remainder are imaginary players of the future.

The caricatures are participating in their sport, except for Jebediah who is standing at a lectern.

Name Years Sport Explanation
Margaret Court 1960s Tennis Margaret Court is a Australian tennis player, former world number 1, who won many competitions in the 1960s and 70s. A tennis court is the playing arena used in that sport.
Gary Player 1970s Golf Gary Player is a South African golfer who won nine major championships in the 1960s and 70s. Game competitors are often known as players, for example, the golf tournament The Players Championship. Hubie Green's name relates even more directly to the game of golf.
Lonzo Ball 2020s Basketball Lonzo Ball is an American professional basketball player, currently with the Los Angeles Lakers. The 2020s decade listed is a projection of when he would likely become his most dominant in the sport, as he began playing professionally in 2017. Of course, basketball is a ball game.
Jake Halfpipe 2030s Skateboarding A halfpipe is a structure used in extreme sports such as skateboarding and snowboarding.
Sarah Goggles 2030s Swimming Goggles are protective eyewear used in many sports, such as swimming or skiing.
Kevin Slurve 2050s Baseball A slurve is a baseball throwing technique, a portmanteau of slider and curve.
Julia Chairlift 2050s Skiing A chairlift is an aerial machine often used to transport winter sports participants up mountains.
Dwight Shuttlecock 2060s Badminton A shuttlecock is a projectile used in the sport of badminton.
Brandon Sponsorship 2060s Unclear Sporting professionals are often sponsored by corporations. Brandon is holding a pair of shoes, which are probably a branded sponsorship item.
Kate Dopingscandal 2070s Cycling There have been many doping scandals in the world of sport, notably cyclist Lance Armstrong, and many Russian competitors in the Olympics
Jebediah Disasterous Postgame-PressConference 2080s Unspecified At the end of sporting events - ie post-game - there is often a press conference where the competitors discuss the result. Sometimes, these live interviews are a disaster. Randall has chosen to spell his name as "Disasterous", rather than the more conventional "Disastrous".
(in title text)

Usain Bolt and Derek Legs

2090s Sprinting From the title text, Usain Bolt is the (now retired) world record holder for the 100 meter dash and 4×100 meter relay events in Track & Field. Thus Randall considers him a solid contender for this list since he can bolt down the track. However the fictional Derek Legs ends up replacing Bolt on the list, either because they are an even faster sprinter, or because “legs” more clearly and unambiguously relates to running than “bolt” does.

Transcript

[Two rows of people wielding sports equipment are shown, six in the upper row, five in the lower, only the last has no equipment but is standing behind a lectern with a microphone attached to it. Below each person, their name is given and the decade in which they were champions of their sport is given below their name, in brackets. Here is a list of the 11 people:]
[Woman with dark hair holding a tennis racket]
Margaret Court
(1960s)
[Cueball with a golf club]
Gary Player
(1970s)
[Cueball with a basketball]
Lonzo Ball
(2020s)
[Hairy on a skateboard]
Jake Halfpipe
(2030s)
[Woman with dark hair wearing a swim cap and goggles]
Sarah Goggles
(2030s)
[A man with a baseball cap throwing a baseball to the right]
Kevin Slurve
(2050s)
[A woman with long black hair in a knit cap and wearing ski googles is standing on skis holding ski poles]
Julia Chairlift
(2050s)
[Hairy holding a badminton racket bouncing a shuttlecock on it]
Dwight Shuttlecock
(2060s)
[Hairy holding a pair of shoes in his hand]
Brandon Sponsorship
(2060s)
[Hairbun standing next to a bicycle.]
Kate Dopingscandal
(2070s)
[Hairy standing behind a lectern with a microphone on it.]
Jebediah Disasterous Postgame PressConference
(2080s)
[Caption below the panel:]
Fun fact: Every sport eventually produces a champion competitor named after a common element of the game.


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