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| Code Quality 3 |
 Title text: It's like a half-solved cryptogram where the solution is a piece of FORTH code written by someone who doesn't know FORTH. |
Explanation
This comic is a direct continuation of 1513: Code Quality and 1695: Code Quality 2 in the Code Quality series, in which Ponytail continually insults Cueball's code style. In this comic, as in the previous, Cueball does not directly appear, only speaking off-panel; however, as it is a continuation of the series, it is clear that this is Cueball's code.
In the first panel, Ponytail references query strings, which store information, such as search queries or page numbers, relevant to the URL. Query strings are not meant to be especially human-readable, so a song based on one would likely not be a good one[citation needed].
A tactical flashlight is a light that can be mounted on a gun for use in low-light scenarios. They tend to be very durable and very bright. Different models have different features and capabilities, so they are given cool-sounding model numbers. A JSON table of these model numbers would look like random data.
Alan Turing was a British theoretical computer scientist, often considered the father of the field. His 1936 paper outlined Turing machines, a theoretical model for computing, as well as computability and the halting problem. Theoretical computer science is very different from practical coding; understanding the contents of the paper would not at all help a coder to understand today's algorithms, design patterns, and best practices. This is only slightly helped by a page of Javascript example code. Javascript is a popular programming language, and example code is used to explain a concept in programming or demonstrate how a program works. "Guessing everything in between" would involve attempting to write code using skills that could range anywhere from the most basic programming to Turing's extremely advanced ideas.
In the final panel, Ponytail references leet-speak, in which symbols are replaced with similar-looking symbols, and a manifesto, a statement of a person or group's beliefs and intentions. A manifesto from a survivalist cult leader might be nonsensical, even before being translated to leet-speak. Memory allocation is a low-level computer programming concept; most modern languages have features that take care of memory allocation for the programmer, possibly implying that Cueball does not know how to use these features.
At this point Cueball, quickly becoming impatient with Ponytail's sass, retorts that if she can't start giving him the constructive criticism that he's looking for, he can always find someone else to replace her. Ponytail smugly responds that nobody else would be able to stomach his code for more than one sitting, and that she's the only one he's got.
Forth is an old programming language that tends to be difficult to read. A cryptogram is a cipher puzzle, generally one easy enough to be solved manually. The title text implies that the code is so bad that it looks like unreadable FORTH code that is missing random characters.
Transcript
- [Ponytail sitting in front of a computer screen typing. Cueball speaks only off-panel, but since this is a direct continuation of comic 1513 and 1695: Code Quality and Code Quality 2 where Cueball is shown, there can be no doubt it is him.]
- Ponytail: Your code looks like song lyrics written using only the stuff that comes after the question mark in a URL.
- Cueball (off-panel): Sorry.
- [Zoom in on Ponytail's upper body.]
- Ponytail: It's like a JSON table of model numbers for flashlights with "tactical" in their names.
- [Zoom back out again. Ponytail has lifted her hands off the table.]
- Ponytail: Like you read Turing's 1936 paper on computing and a page of JavaScript example code and guessed at everything in between.
- [Zoom in again on Ponytail's face.]
- Ponytail: It's like a leet-speak translation of a manifesto by a survivalist cult leader who's for some reason obsessed with memory allocation.
- Cueball (off-panel): I can get someone else to review my code.
- Ponytail: Not more than once, I bet.
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