Editing 1619: Watson Medical Algorithm
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IBM's {{w|Watson (computer)|Watson}} is a natural language system designed to answer questions posed by humans. Recently, {{w|IBM}} has extended Watson to act as a {{w|clinical decision support system}}, using image analytics to aid {{w|physicians}} in medical decision making. | IBM's {{w|Watson (computer)|Watson}} is a natural language system designed to answer questions posed by humans. Recently, {{w|IBM}} has extended Watson to act as a {{w|clinical decision support system}}, using image analytics to aid {{w|physicians}} in medical decision making. | ||
− | In this comic, [[Randall]] uses a {{w|flowchart}} (as he [[:Category:Flowcharts|often does]]) to represent a guide to the algorithm used by Watson, including bizarre | + | In this comic, [[Randall]] uses a {{w|flowchart}} (as he [[:Category:Flowcharts|often does]]) to represent a guide to the algorithm used by Watson, including bizarre techniques including surgical alteration of a patient to match a height and weight chart or squeezing the patient to make sure fluids come out of them. Like [[416: Zealous Autoconfig]], this comic pokes fun at a rigid, poorly-designed setup that ends up potentially doing more harm than good. The computer's behavior in this comic can be compared to the health-care robot named Baymax in the movie {{w|Big Hero 6 (film)|Big Hero 6}}. |
− | Modern {{w|medicine}} involves both standard processes and clinical judgment based around years of advanced training. An algorithm like this would have to be incredibly complicated in order to simulate the clinical judgment of a good doctor. | + | Modern {{w|medicine}} involves both standard processes and clinical judgment based around years of advanced training. An algorithm like this would have to be incredibly complicated in order to simulate the clinical judgment of a good doctor. Below is a [[#Explaination of steps|detailed description of each step]], but here is a list of some of the more strange steps: |
*The algorithm depicted treats a patient as more of a machine or mechanical system than a living being, especially through decisions such as: | *The algorithm depicted treats a patient as more of a machine or mechanical system than a living being, especially through decisions such as: | ||
− | **Injecting oxygen into patients with low {{w|Oxygen saturation (medicine)|oxygen saturation}}, rather than | + | **Injecting oxygen into patients with low {{w|Oxygen saturation (medicine)|oxygen saturation}}, rather than treating the root cause. |
**Removing and inspecting a skeleton, then diagnosing the patient's condition with a bone count. This is likely a reference to [http://buttersafe.com/2015/10/15/a-serious-case-of-spookiness/ A Serious Case Of Spookiness] from the [http://buttersafe.com/ Buttersafe] web-comic, a comic Randall links to from below the comics on {{xkcd}}. | **Removing and inspecting a skeleton, then diagnosing the patient's condition with a bone count. This is likely a reference to [http://buttersafe.com/2015/10/15/a-serious-case-of-spookiness/ A Serious Case Of Spookiness] from the [http://buttersafe.com/ Buttersafe] web-comic, a comic Randall links to from below the comics on {{xkcd}}. | ||
***In the book ''[[Thing Explainer]]'' there is an explanation ''Colors of light'' for the electromagnetic spectrum, where [[Ponytail]] as a doctor looks at a full body x-ray of [[Cueball]] and exclaims that ''... It looks like your body is full of bones'' to which Cueball replies ''Oh no! Is there any cure?'' Well if he meets Watson he might have them all removed... This comic came out about a month after the book so it may be viewed as a kind of reference to the problem with too many bones. | ***In the book ''[[Thing Explainer]]'' there is an explanation ''Colors of light'' for the electromagnetic spectrum, where [[Ponytail]] as a doctor looks at a full body x-ray of [[Cueball]] and exclaims that ''... It looks like your body is full of bones'' to which Cueball replies ''Oh no! Is there any cure?'' Well if he meets Watson he might have them all removed... This comic came out about a month after the book so it may be viewed as a kind of reference to the problem with too many bones. | ||
− | **{{w|Dissecting}} a doctor "for parts" after consulting | + | **{{w|Dissecting}} a doctor "for parts" after consulting him or her for advice. |
**Removing extra limbs from a patient if the count is 100 or more (This might be a reference to different number systems used in computers, as 100 is read in binary as four.) | **Removing extra limbs from a patient if the count is 100 or more (This might be a reference to different number systems used in computers, as 100 is read in binary as four.) | ||
**Determining whether the "build environment" of the patient is sane. This is most probably a reference to the {{w|configure script}} used in the {{w|GNU_build_system|GNU build system}}, which emits "checking whether build environment is sane" as one of its status messages. | **Determining whether the "build environment" of the patient is sane. This is most probably a reference to the {{w|configure script}} used in the {{w|GNU_build_system|GNU build system}}, which emits "checking whether build environment is sane" as one of its status messages. | ||
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**If the patient has less than 100 limbs, check their {{w|Vitamin D}} level | **If the patient has less than 100 limbs, check their {{w|Vitamin D}} level | ||
− | Although there are two options where the patient is {{w|Inpatient_care#Planning_for_patient_discharge|discharged}} the patient should be very lucky to make it | + | Although there are two options where the patient is {{w|Inpatient_care#Planning_for_patient_discharge|discharged}} the patient should be very lucky to make it there alive. |
The option at the bottom left is only reached after your skeleton is removed (and nothing is mentioned about putting it back, even if that would help). | The option at the bottom left is only reached after your skeleton is removed (and nothing is mentioned about putting it back, even if that would help). | ||
− | The other discharge option is to the right, three boxes down, and can only be reached if you survive having an oxygen saturation of less than 50 % (less than 80-90 % can be a serious problem, see [[# | + | The other discharge option is to the right, three boxes down, and can only be reached if you survive having an oxygen saturation of less than 50 % (less than 80-90 % can be a serious problem, see [[#Explaination of steps|table below]]), and a very dangerous oxygen injection. Then you have to have a skin graft and a good D vitamin level. It is also best that you have a fully charged phone else you will be subject to defibrillation (which may very likely kill you, if it will continue until your phone is charged to above "low" level - which is probably not even possible). |
You can also reach this discharge option another way, but that would only be after your organs were removed... But if you get through this you could reach the discharged option alive. Sadly there is a little glitch mentioned in the title text: | You can also reach this discharge option another way, but that would only be after your organs were removed... But if you get through this you could reach the discharged option alive. Sadly there is a little glitch mentioned in the title text: | ||
− | The title text implies that, if the patient is so lucky to ever reach one of the two places with the option "discharge patient", a minor glitch will cause the program to go back to the ''hunt down and capture patient'' option which thus force the patient and the program to repeat the process again in an infinite cycle, that will only end once the patient give another rating than 0-10 of their pain level on the 0-10 scale. Then the program will start to sequence their genome | + | The title text implies that, if the patient is so lucky to ever reach one of the two places with the option "discharge patient", a minor glitch will cause the program to go back to the ''hunt down and capture patient'' option which thus force the patient and the program to repeat the process again in an infinite cycle, that will only end once the patient give another rating than 0-10 of their pain level on the 0-10 scale. Then the program will start to sequence their genome then apply a tourniquet and finally perform an autopsy, on what will, in the end, for certain be a deceased patient; but maybe the patient was still alive when the autopsy began... This will finally cause the patient to leave the cycle as a corpse. If the patient dies before giving a different option, the machine could get stuck, as it will never receive any answer to the pain level question... It could also get stuck trying to charge the patients phone battery by defibrilation |
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This is the second comic in a row about health issues with the last comic being [[1618: Cold Medicine]]. | This is the second comic in a row about health issues with the last comic being [[1618: Cold Medicine]]. | ||
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Record patient’s name | Record patient’s name | ||
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− | + | OK | |
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Measure Patient’s height and Weight | Measure Patient’s height and Weight | ||
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No: Check blood O<sub>2</sub> saturation | No: Check blood O<sub>2</sub> saturation | ||
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| width="33%" rowspan=2 ` | | | width="33%" rowspan=2 ` | | ||
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Dissect doctor for parts | Dissect doctor for parts | ||
− | | | <b >This may be considered ethically dubious. | + | | | <b >This may be considered ethically dubious.<span > </span></b>Possible reference to the Doctor Who episode “{{w|The Girl in the Fireplace}}” |
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Discharge patient (left) | Discharge patient (left) | ||
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What color? | What color? | ||
| width="33%" rowspan=4 | | | width="33%" rowspan=4 | | ||
− | Never underestimate the number of different types of fluid the body can produce | + | Never underestimate the number of different types of fluid the body can produce. |
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Yellow: Squeeze Patient | Yellow: Squeeze Patient | ||
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Activate sprinklers | Activate sprinklers | ||
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− | Not medically valid. Presumably a reference to how much cleaning up will be required by this stage | + | Not medically valid. Presumably a reference to how much cleaning up will be required by this stage. |
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Subdue patient | Subdue patient | ||
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Laser eye removal | Laser eye removal | ||
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− | This is not a standard medical procedure, and not a good idea. This is | + | This is not a standard medical procedure, and not a good idea. This could be a pun on laser eye surgery where a laser is used to correct visual problems (e.g. short-sightedness), or laser hair and tattoo removal. Laser eye removal is also discussed in [[1681: Laser Products]]. |
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Admit for observation | Admit for observation | ||
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| | The patient has died, and Watson is being ordered to determine the cause of death. Note that the only way to reach this state is from "apply tourniquet", implying the cause of death is strangulation via tourniquet. | | | The patient has died, and Watson is being ordered to determine the cause of death. Note that the only way to reach this state is from "apply tourniquet", implying the cause of death is strangulation via tourniquet. | ||
| | END STATE (taking the title text into account, the only possible one) | | | END STATE (taking the title text into account, the only possible one) | ||
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*The robot doctor | *The robot doctor | ||
*The patient undergoing this procedure (before or after reaching this part of the process) | *The patient undergoing this procedure (before or after reaching this part of the process) | ||
− | * | + | *The person who programmed the robot to perform this flowchart |
− | * | + | *The person who allowed this state of affairs to occur (I'm looking at you [[Black Hat]]) |
This could also be a reference to the title text for [[371: Compiler Complaint]]. | This could also be a reference to the title text for [[371: Compiler Complaint]]. | ||
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Defibrillate | Defibrillate | ||
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− | Indicated in cases where there is ventricular fibrillation, and to a lesser extent in | + | Indicated in cases where there is ventricular fibrillation, and to a lesser extent in atrial fibrillation (chemical cardioversion with adenosine is usually preferred), but would not help with a phone. |
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Is patient phone battery low? | Is patient phone battery low? | ||
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Administer general anesthesia | Administer general anesthesia | ||
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− | Valid, but not at this stage. Only used when the procedure will invoke unnecessary distress or pain to the patient if they were to be awake beforehand | + | Valid, but not at this stage. Only used when the procedure will invoke unnecessary distress or pain to the patient if they were to be awake beforehand. |
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Discharge patient (right) | Discharge patient (right) | ||
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Discharge patient (right) | Discharge patient (right) | ||
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− | Acceptable | + | Acceptable if coming from above, but the option from below (see below) would mean that the patient would be dead by then. |
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END STATE (before you read the title text) | END STATE (before you read the title text) | ||
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Blood loss? | Blood loss? | ||
| width="33%" rowspan=2 | | | width="33%" rowspan=2 | | ||
− | Useful. Patient may die if this clinical sign is missed | + | Useful. Patient may die if this clinical sign is missed. |
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Minor: Patient address changed? | Minor: Patient address changed? | ||
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Patient address changed? | Patient address changed? | ||
| width="33%" rowspan=2 | | | width="33%" rowspan=2 | | ||
− | Useful to ensure that the | + | Useful to ensure that the organisation has current contact details for the patient in the event that they may need to contact the patient (e.g. to arrange further appointments) |
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Yes: Request organ donation | Yes: Request organ donation | ||
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Request organ donation | Request organ donation | ||
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− | Generally done prior to registering an individual for a driving | + | Generally done prior to registering an individual for a driving licence or to a medical practice, or to the relatives of the deceased if consent had not been acquired beforehand. |
|Remove organs | |Remove organs | ||
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Remove organs | Remove organs | ||
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− | The only organs which can be safely removed from a living person without resulting in serious, chronic medical issues are the kidneys/lungs (only one can be removed), spleen | + | The only organs which can be safely removed from a living person without resulting in serious, chronic medical issues are the kidneys/lungs (only one can be removed), spleen, part of the liver (as long as one lobe is left it can regrow to its original size) and colon (usually consisting of the appendix only). With some serious lifestyle modifications, the pancreas, pituitary gland, frontal lobe of brain, half of the brain, adrenal glands, bladder and most of the gut can be removed. The heart can be removed from the body and replaced with an artificial pump for a few months at the most. However, such organ removals are only indicated if there is a genuine clinical need to do so due to the non-negligible risk of death associated with these operations. |
| Discharge patient (right) | | Discharge patient (right) | ||
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Perform autopsy | Perform autopsy | ||
| | [End state, and if taking the title text into account, the only possible one] | | | [End state, and if taking the title text into account, the only possible one] | ||
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[[Category:Computers]] | [[Category:Computers]] | ||
[[Category:Sarcasm]] | [[Category:Sarcasm]] | ||
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