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| − | {{comic
| + | 10.WAITER - YOU WILL WAIT 20 MINUTES FOR ME TO COME BACK TO THE TABLE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO GIVE YOU THE FREE REFILL YOU'RE ENTITLED TO, I WILL MESS UP YOUR ORDER AND THEN CLAIM I COULDN'T HEAR YOU, YOU WILL GIVE ME A 20% TIP IN SPITE OF ME FUCKING EVERYTHING UP |
| − | | number = 2699
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| − | | date = November 16, 2022
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| − | | title = Feature Comparison
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| − | | image = feature_comparison_v3.png
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| − | | imagesize =
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| − | | noexpand = true
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| − | | titletext = Below the Web, and the Dark Web, a shadowy parallel world of Cybiko users trade messages on the Translucent Neon Plastic Web.
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| − | }}
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| − | ==Explanation==
| + | 9. HR WORKER- YOU WILL DO 2 HOURS OF PRELIMINARY HOMEWORK BEFORE YOUR INTERVIEW, YOU WILL ANSWER MY INANE QUESTIONS COMPLETELY UNREALATED TO THE JOB YOU ARE APPLYING FOR, YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE A REASON FOR YOUR REJECTION |
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| − | This comic compares different remote communication services, including the relatively well-known {{w|Twitter}}, {{w|Discord}}, {{w|Mastodon (software)|Mastodon}}, {{w|Facebook}} (FB), {{w|Slack (software)|Slack}}, {{w|Signal (software)|Signal}}, {{w|Internet Relay Chat}} (IRC), {{w|Tumblr}}, {{w|Reddit}}, and {{w|SMS}} mobile telephone text messages. It also includes the less well-known {{w|Cybiko}}® wireless handheld computer for teens. For each of these, it purports to indicate which of various features they support. The comic illustrates how feature comparison charts and infographics can be abused by sellers who are trying to make their products look better than they really are, compared to their competitors. The comic may have been inspired by the recent surge in users looking for an alternative to Twitter, due to its purchase by [[Elon Musk]], and the subsequent mass firings and resignation of its staff.
| + | 8. PORN ARTIST - YOU WILL SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, YOU WILL NOT SEND UNSOLICITED REQUESTS, YOU WILL NOT REDISTRIBUTE MY ART, I WILL NOT DRAW THAT FETISH ANYMORE BECAUSE IT HURTS MY REPUTATION |
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| − | The Cybiko was a handheld computer designed for teens and released in 2000, which featured its own two-way radio text messaging capabilities along with built-in games and a music player. Additional information about it is available at [http://cultureandcommunication.org/deadmedia/index.php/Cybiko the Dead Media Archive], as the device has not been manufactured since 2003. The chart suggests that the Cybiko has an advantage over all of the other listed communication services, as it is capable of all eight of the table's listed features, with none of the others being close.
| + | 7. SENATOR - YOU WILL VOTE FOR ME, YOU WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE EVIL FASCIST NAZI IN THE OTHER PARTY, I WILL NOT ANSWER MY PHONE EVENT HOUGH YOU CALLED ME OVER 20 TIMES TO TALK ABOUT THE THE WATER SUPPLY |
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| − | The features compared are {{w|Private message|direct messaging}}, {{w|group chat}}s, {{w|file transfer}}, built-in {{w|video game|games}}, instances of the software run by individual users instead of the corporation producing it, lack of a {{w|Server (computing)|central server}} requirement, {{w|mesh networking}}, and wireless message delivery without an active internet connection.
| + | 6. NURSE - YOU WILL NOT BRING MORE THAN 2 PEOPLE IN THE ROOM DURING YOUR GRANDMA'S DYING MOMENTS BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GIVE HER COVID, YOU WILL ATTEND YOUR YEARLY CHECKUP, YOU WILL TAKE THIS MEDICINE FOR YOUR EAR INFECTION INSTEAD OF LETTING IT HEAL NATURALLY |
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| − | Mesh networking is a form of connectivity that reduces or removes the need for a centralized server or predefined gateways to a communications 'backbone'. Nodes communicate directly with any nodes that happen to be contactable, and from there may connect through to whatever nodes are in mutual contact, or to be found further afield, either in real-time or asynchronously. The Cybiko has this ability, as well as wireless message delivery because it communicates directly to other devices via radio, hence the ability to operate without any internet connectivity at all. There are several {{w|Comparison of software and protocols for distributed social networking|ongoing projects for distributed social networking}}, but all of these additionally require a hardware layer to provide signalling via their respective protocols. The Cybiko provides such via its decentralized radio capabilities.
| + | 5.CAFETERIA JANITOR - YOU WILL THROW YOUR GARBAGE IN THE GARBAGE CAN, YOU WILL PUT THE TRAY ON THE PILE NEXT TO THE SINK, YOU WILL NOT LEAVE FOOD AT THE TABLE, YOU WILL NOT POUR WATER ON THE GROUND |
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| − | The comic does not mention the downsides of the Cybiko, that being purchasing one, and finding friends who own one, can be its own challenge, as it was discontinued nearly 20 years ago. Additionally, the comparison can be considered apples to oranges, since Cybiko is a ''device'' rather than a ''service''; a fairer comparison would be to a modern {{w|smartphone}}, which can provide most of these features via multiple apps, including ones written especially for such rival services. Even ignoring the above, some of the Cybiko's "advantages" come with their own drawbacks: while not requiring a central server nor the Internet, for example, is touted as a plus, the Cybiko instead relies on having other devices in proximity to relay messages, meaning that unless the person you are sending to is nearby, it will not function. This is not an issue on any of the other options.
| + | 4. DMV EMPLOYEE - YOU WILL LET ME TOUCH YOUR HAIR SO I CAN MOVE IT OFF OF YOUR FACE FOR THIS PHOTO, YOU WILL ONLY PAY ME WITH A CHECK OR MONEY ORDER, YOU WILL ONLY BE ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOUR TRANSMISSION 3 TIMES DURING THE PARALLEL PARKING PORTION OF YOUR DRIVER'S TEST, YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SCHEDULE ANOTHER TEST FOR 3 MORE MONTHS |
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| − | This comic contains several errors. Mastodon doesn't support file transfer. Discord does not provide for user-run instances itself, only user-moderated and administrated instances. (There are two third party Discord server implementations, but it is unclear whether those could be counted as run by users.) Slack does not provide for user-run instances itself. Reddit does not provide for user-run instances at all, only user moderation and administration. IRC does require at least one central server,[https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc1459.html] and relegates file transfer support to client extensions. Signal is heavily used in user-run instances via a diverse ecosystem of code forks; many of these don't require a central server, a couple use mesh networking. Reddit occasionally does have built-in games. Finally, SMS has a form of group chats, (Tumblr used to have a form of group chat, but it was [https://staff.tumblr.com/post/661879317474721792 removed in September of 2021]).
| + | 3. COLLEGE PROFESSOR - YOU WILL RESPECT MY WORK, YOU WILL NOT PLAGIARISE, YOU WILL GET THE CITATIONS ACCORDING TO SOME SUPER AUTISTIC FORMAT, TOUCHING A WOMAN'S SHOULDER IS SEXUAL HARRASMENT THEREFORE YOU WILL NOT DO THAT, YOU WILL NOT DARE EMAIL ME WITHOUT FOLLOWING THESE SPECIFIC CONDITIONS |
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| − | The comic has been updated twice to fix some of these errors. The first version suggested Mastodon did not support user-run instances and required a central server, and that Reddit supported file transfer. This was changed once shortly after publication to add a check mark under "Mastodon" for "User-Run Instances". A second change was made some time later to check "Doesn't Require Central Server" for Mastodon and uncheck "File Transfer" for Reddit.
| + | 2. BUSDRIVER - YOU WILL STAY IN YOUR ASSIGNED SEAT, YOU WILL GET OFF AT YOUR ASSIGNED STOP, YOU WILL NOT BRING FOOD ON THE BUS, YOU WILL NOT BLOK THE MIDDLE AISLE, YOU WILL CLOSE YOUR WINDOW BEFORE GETTING OFF |
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| − | The title text refers to the translucent plastic covers that were popular in the late 1990s and early 2000s.
| + | 1. LIFEGUARD - YOU WILL NOT DIVE HERE, YOU WILL NOT JUMP BACKWARDS OFF THE DIVING BOARD OR DO FLIPS, YOU WILL NOT RIDE 5 PEOPLE DOWN THE WATERSLIDE IN A CONGA LINE, YOU WILL NOT ENGAGE IN HORSE PLAY |
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| − | ==Transcript==
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| − | | |
| − | :[A table with checkmarks to indicate which features various messaging services have. Each column is labeled with a service name and its logo beneath, except that for the last column, the device's longer name is written higher than all the other services' names, with an arrow pointing to a drawing of the device below it.]
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| − | | |
| − | {| class="wikitable"
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| − | |-
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| − | !
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| − | ! Twitter
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| − | ! Discord
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| − | ! Mastodon
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| − | ! FB
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| − | ! Slack
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| − | ! Signal
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| − | ! IRC
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| − | ! Tumblr
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| − | ! Reddit
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| − | ! SMS
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| − | ! Cybiko® wireless<br>handheld computer<br>for teens (2000)
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| − | |-
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| − | ! Direct messages
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| − | | ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓
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| − | |-
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| − | ! Group chats
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| − | | ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || || ✓ || || ✓
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| − | |-
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| − | ! File transfer
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| − | | || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || ✓ || || || || ✓
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| − | |-
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| − | ! Built-in games
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| − | | || ✓ || || ✓ || || || || || || || ✓
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| − | |-
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| − | ! User-run instances
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| − | | || ✓ || ✓ || || ✓ || || ✓ || || ✓ || || ✓
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| − | |-
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| − | ! Doesn't require central server
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| − | | || || ✓ || || || || ✓ || || || || ✓
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| − | |-
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| − | ! Mesh networking
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| − | | || || || || || || || || || || ✓
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| − | |-
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| − | ! Wireless message delivery works without internet
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| − | | || || || || || || || || || ✓ || ✓
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| − | |-
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| − | |}
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| − | | |
| − | {{comic discussion}}
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| − | [[Category:Charts]]
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| − | [[Category:Social networking]]
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