1679: Substitutions 3

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Substitutions 3
BREAKING: Channing Tatum and his friends explore haunted city
Title text: BREAKING: Channing Tatum and his friends explore haunted city

Explanation

Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: just a stub. More examples from real life. Title text...
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This is the third time Randall has suggested substitutions that will make reading the news more fun. This time it will be even more fun. It began with 1288: Substitutions which was followed more recently by 1625: Substitutions 2.

The title text in original form would be "Scientists explore ancient city", which most would consider a fairly bland headline. The day before this comic came out, there was news that a new, ancient city had been found by a 15 year old scientist, which may be what Randall was referencing. Imagining Channing Tatum and his "friends", and pretending that the city is haunted, provides a much more dramatic setting mirroring many episodes (and later films) of Scooby Doo featuring a gang of friends (Mysteries, Inc.).


Real life examples:

Transcript

[Caption above the panel:]
Even More
Substitutions
That make reading the news more fun
[A table of words/sentences on the left that change in to those on the left. Between each set of words there is an arrow pointing from right.]
Gaffe ➜ Magic spell
Ancient ➜ Haunted
Star-Studded ➜ Blood-soaked
Remains to be seen ➜ Will never be known
Silver bullet ➜ Way to kill werewolves
Subway system ➜ Tunnels I found
Surprising ➜ Surprising (but not to me)
War of words ➜ Interplanetary war
Tension ➜ Sexual tension
Cautiously optimistic ➜ Delusional
Doctor Who ➜ The Big Bang Theory
Win votes ➜ Find Pokémon
Behind the headlines ➜ Beyond the grave
Email \
Facebook Post ➜ Poem
Tweet /
Facebook CEO ➜ This guy
Latest ➜ Final
Disrupt ➜ Destroy
Meeting ➜ Ménage à trois
Scientists ➜ Channing Tatum
and his friends
You won't believe ➜ I'm really sad about


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Discussion

The title text may be a reference to the Mayan city discovered by a 15 year old, but that city hasn't yet been visited by scientists or Mr Tatum. https://translate.google.com/translate?tl=en&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.journaldemontreal.com%2F2016%2F05%2F07%2Fun-ado-decouvre-une-cite-maya 198.41.239.34 13:32, 11 May 2016 (UTC)


Here's the code for the full set of substitutions from all three comics, to be inserted in the Chrome extension the page listed, which can be found here: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/replacerator/gaajhenbcclienfnniphiiambbbninnp?hl=en

{"Google Glass":"virtual boy","a unknown number":"like hundreds","allegedly":"kinda probably","ancient":"haunted","at large":"very large","behind the headlines":"beyond the grave","candidate":"airbender","car":"cat","cautiously optimistic":"delusional","congressional leaders":"river spirits","could not be reached for comment":"is guilty and everyone knows it","debate":"dance-off","disrupt":"destroy","doctor who":"the big bang theory","drone":"dog","election":"eating contest","electric":"atomic","email":"poem","expands":"physically expands","facebook ceo":"this guy","facebook post":"poem","first-degree":"friggin' awful","front runner":"blade runner","gaffe":"magic spell","global":"spherical","homeland security":"homestar runner","horsepower":"tons of horsemeat","latest":"final","meeting":"ménage à trois","minutes":"years","new study":"Tumblr post","no indication":"lots of signs","poll":"psychic reading","rebuild":"avenge","remains to be seen":"will never be known","scientists":"Channing Tatum and his friends","second-degree":"friggin' awful","selfdriving":"uncontrollably swerving","senator":"elf-lord","silver bullet":"way to kill werewolves","smartphone":"Pokédex","space":"spaaace","star-studded":"blood-soaked","subway system":"tunnels I found","successfully":"suddenly","surprising":"surprising (but not to me)","tension":"sexual tension","third-degree":"frigging' awful","tweet":"poem","urged restraint by":"drunkenly egged on","vows to":"probably won't","war of words":"interplanetary war","win votes":"find pokémon","witnesses":"these dudes I know","years":"minutes","you won't believe":"I'm really sad about"}


I would put it somewhere more convenient if I knew a site for it. 141.101.104.158 13:46, 11 May 2016 (UTC)

I almost forgot about adding this, but then i randomly saw 40% more spaaace on a website.--Nathanieljay216 (talk) 03:37, 24 July 2019 (UTC)

This reminds me an awful lot of the title text in the previous comic 1678: Recent Searches regarding autoexec code posted by verified twitter users. :-p Kynde (talk) 13:48, 11 May 2016 (UTC)
Is there a way to easily enable/disable the extension?Bmmarti3 (talk)
It appears there isn't... Go to your list of browser extensions, and enable/disable it.141.101.75.245 18:59, 11 May 2016 (UTC)
I personally use a different extension than was linked to on xkcd.com, titled xkcd substitutions, which can be turned off by clicking on the icon for it at the top of your Chrome window, and also allows you to set specific sites on which it will never change words (i.e. on Gmail). Here's the shortened link: http://bit.ly/VF8nTw 173.245.54.49 22:31, 11 May 2016 (UTC)
Hey, what about [Keyboard --> Leopard]? Papayaman1000 (talk) 00:45, 15 May 2016 (UTC)


It would be wonderful if the celebrity injunction was about a ménage à trois and somehow all the hype was Randall's fault. 141.101.70.133 15:13, 11 May 2016 (UTC) Great. Now I have to update this:https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/xkcd-substitutions/jkgogmboalmaijfgfhfepckdgjeopfhk?hl=en&gl=001 --108.162.215.69 18:24, 11 May 2016 (UTC)

108.162.216.91Here's a funny link, but I don't know how to edit it in: https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/how-clintons--scandal-took-root/2016/03/27/ee301168-e162-11e5-846c-10191d1fc4ec_story.html, it the substituted version is "How Clinton’s poem scandal took root"108.162.216.91

On Doctor Who > Big Bang Theory - the real life example isn't particularly interesting, as it's substituting one TV show for another. The more interesting cases are those where news headlines reference an actual doctor, who (something). For instance, in the criminal trial of amputee Oscar Pistorius, one TV banner referred to someone as "Doctor who cut off [his] legs". "The Big Bang Theory cut off [his] legs" is, to my mind, more bizarre. 141.101.98.119 16:54, 12 May 2016 (UTC)Andrew Williams; one day I'll make an account. 12/05/2016

I think any article about Doctor Who - e.g. an interview with David Tennant about his leading role on The Big Bang Theory, would come across as funny to Whovians. :) KieferSkunk (talk) 20:08, 16 May 2016 (UTC)


Weird substitution

Isn't 'tension' -> 'sexual tension' weird? It could result in the following texts:

'sexual tension' -> 'sexual sexual tension',

'cable tension' -> 'cable sexual tension'.

In short, whenever there's already something before 'tension' that gets modified, don't substitute (or replace those words (difficult to do automatically)) --Zom-B (talk) 07:43, 12 May 2016 (UTC)

Here's some javascript to run these substitutions (page may be unusable afterwards) - imma
document.body.innerHTML=[
[/Gaffe/ig,"Magic spell"], [/Ancient/ig,"Haunted"], [/Star[- ]Studded/ig,"Blood-soaked"], [/Remains to be seen/ig,"Will never be known"], [/Silver[- ]bullet/ig,"Way to kill werewolves"], [/Subway system/ig,"Tunnels I found"], [/Surprising/ig,"Surprising (but not to me)"], [/War[- ]of[- ]words/ig,"Interplanetary war"], [/Tension/ig,"Sexual tension"], [/Cautiously optimistic/ig,"Delusional"], [/Doctor Who/ig,"The Big Bang Theory"], [/Win votes/ig,"Find Pokémon"], [/Behind (the )?headlines/ig,"Beyond the grave"], [/Email|Facebook Post|Tweet|twitter post/ig,"Poem"], [/Facebook CEO/ig,"This guy"], [/Latest/ig,"Final"], [/Disrupt/ig,"Destroy"], [/Meeting/ig,"Ménage à trois"], [/Scientists?/ig,"Channing Tatum and his friends"], [/You won't believe/ig,"I'm really sad about"]
].reduce((t,s)=>t.replace(s[0],s[1]),document.body.innerHTML)
162.158.34.139 08:30, 12 May 2016 (UTC)

Could War of words be a mention to The War of Worlds by H.G. Wells? 162.158.255.137 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Breaking news: A The Big Bang Theory Helped A Patient Out Became The Patient's Employee. 2659: Unreliable Connection (talk) 09:00, 29 March 2023 (UTC)

I'm no linguist, but the word "Last" happens to share the meanings of both "Latest" and "Final". 2659: Unreliable Connection (talk) 09:02, 29 March 2023 (UTC)

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