Editing 1219: Reports

{{comic
| number    = 1219
| date      = May 31, 2013
| title     = Reports
| image     = reports.png
| titletext = If that fails, just multiply every number by a thousand. 'The 2nd St speed limit were set at 25,000 mph, it would likely have prevented 1,000 of the intersection's 3,000 serious accidents last month.'
}}

==Explanation==
The quoted text of the report could (and indeed probably ''would'', given the apparent contents) be stereotypically read out loud by the author, or internally by the reader, in an essentially monotonal manner, as exhibited by any number of popularised film and TV characters such as 'Arthur Pewtey' from the {{w|Marriage Guidance Counsellor|Monty Python sketch}}<!-- Wanted to also add a US equivalent, please do so if you have one in mind. Wasn't there somebody like this in 'Clerks'? -->. But this comic asks us to imagine it instead voiced in the shrill voice of an upset (soon-to-be-'ex-'?) wife<!-- Examples abound... Link to one or more? -->, presumably berating her husband on various real or imagined infractions, and it works just as well. The jagged nature of the speech bubble could be because it was being remotely conveyed over Skype, or similar, but also helps to re-enforce the shrieking/nagging internal voice.

The title text joke relates to an alternative plan, namely to proportionally exaggerate everything you read.  What would have been one serious accident that would have been prevented in the previous month had the speed limit been 25mph, out of the three that actually occurred under the current limit, now becomes one ''thousand'' people saved!  And ''all'' those lives would have been saved by reducing the speed limit to a 'mere' 25,000 miles per hour.  (Of course, around 2000 people would ''not'' have been helped, but if people ''will'' try to mess with vehicles that are moving at hypersonic velocities...)


==Transcript==
:How to make boring technical reports more fun to read:
:Imagine they were written and sent in, unsolicited, by the estranged spouse of the head of the project.
:<Six guard rails have erratic reflector placement, and one even lacks reflectors entirely, despite rule G31.02(b) clearly mandating consistent usage.>
:Cueball: ...Sharon!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]