Editing 1283: Headlines

{{comic
| number    = 1283
| date      = October 28, 2013
| title     = Headlines
| image     = headlines.png
| titletext = 1916: 'PHYSICIST DAD' TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO GRAVITY, AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HE FINDS. [PICS] [NSFW]
}}

==Explanation==
This comic satirizes the sensationalist language used in Internet headlines. Many websites generate ad revenue for getting visitors ("getting more clicks"), so some unscrupulous editors seek to manipulate their readers using tantalizing yet formulaic and crass headlines, designed to attract readers rather than summarize the article's contents. You might recognize this technique from those ridiculous text advertisements — "local mom discovers 1 weird tip to reduce belly fat." The practice is nothing new: {{w|tabloid journalism}} has been doing this for many years (e.g. ''{{w|National Enquirer}}''). The numbers shown at the headline are also often wrong and not covered by the article.

Signs of a dishonest headline include giving undue weight to trivial topics, or appealing to readers' emotions or needs (fear, outrage, pity, lust, laziness) instead of offering serious information. In severe cases, it may be a {{w|bait-and-switch}}, claiming to offer something it isn't. By failing to give a useful summary of the story, whilst attempting to force the reader to click on every story on the off-chance that it's interesting, they amount to an intentionally deceptive form of spam.

[[Randall]] parodies the formula in this comic with such trivializing headlines for important historical events:

*1905 - How a shocking new theory, discovered by a dad, proves scientists are wrong about ''everything!''
:{{w|Albert Einstein}} published his {{w|Annus Mirabilis papers}}, which changed views on space, time, mass, and energy, and laid the groundwork for much of modern physics. They included his papers on {{w|special relativity}} and on {{w|mass–energy equivalence}} ("E = mc<sup>2</sup>"). He had an infant son in 1905 (born May 1904).
:The use of the term "dad" helps readers tune in emotionally. "Proving scientists wrong about everything" is obviously an inflation of Einstein's achievements, though not completely incorrect as Einstein's discoveries did undermine current theories about fundamentals of the universe such as space, time and motion. Einstein was awarded the {{w|Nobel Prize}} in 1921 for his work on the {{w|photoelectric effect}}; his work on relativity was still not accepted by many physicists at that time.
*1912 - 6 ''Titanic'' survivors who should have died
:{{w|Sinking of the RMS Titanic}}. "should have died" seems to be referring to six passengers whose survival was downright miraculous, though the wording is (deliberately) ambiguous to imply the six passengers ''deserved'' to have died. Possibly referred to here is the survival of {{w|J. Bruce Ismay}}, chairman and managing director of the White Star Line, the company responsible for the Titanic. He was condemned at the time as a coward for leaving the sinking liner, though it is his various decisions precipitating the disaster that later analysis tends to concentrate on. He may well also have successfully conspired to deflect the future legal enquiries, through telegrams he sent from the rescue ship.
*1920 - 17 things that will be outlawed now that women can vote
:The {{w|Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution}} was passed, guaranteeing voting rights for women in all US states. The prediction of new prohibitions is a reference to alcohol prohibition under the authority granted to the federal government by the {{w|Eighteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution}}. While the Eighteenth Amendment was ratified before women's suffrage was guaranteed by the Nineteenth, alcohol prohibition was widely seen as an issue driven by women's opinions (hence the suggestion that more things would be prohibited now that women had the vote).
*1928 - This one weird mold kills all germs
:{{w|Penicillin}} was discovered by Alexander Fleming.
:This claim is sensationalized in (at least) 2 ways. 1) Penicillin is an {{w|Antibiotic}}, a type of medicine that kills bacteria. The term {{w|germ}} includes viruses which are not affected by antibiotics. 2) {{w|List of antibiotic-resistant bacteria|Some bacteria}} are antibiotic-resistant, so penicillin does not even kill all bacteria. 
*1929 - Most embarrassing reactions to the stock market crash [GIFS]
:This is a reference to the {{w|Wall Street Crash of 1929}}, the most devastating stock market crash in history and the beginning of the Great Depression. The "embarrassing reactions" may be a reference to the suicides of people suddenly impoverished by the depression.
:[GIFS] indicates that the post will contain animated GIF images, which are a crude form of short video. Presumably, these GIFs will feature the aforementioned suicides, which would be considered tasteless at best. The {{w|GIF#Animated_GIF|GIF89a specification}} which supports animation was released in 1990, so animated GIFs (or computers for that matter) didn't exist in 1929. 
*1945 - These 9 Nazi atrocities will make you lose faith in humanity
:1945 is the year that World War II ended. It's also the year that many war crimes committed by Nazi Germany were discovered or declassified. These events would be cause enough for anyone to re-evaluate their belief in the inherent goodness of the human race. However, the specific phrase "lose faith in humanity" is one often employed on the web by rather over-dramatic people in response to something someone did to exasperate them; and because that particular wording is closely associated with exaggerative tendencies, its usage in relation to Nazi war crimes only ''downplays'' their seriousness.
*1948 - 5 insane plans for feeding West Berlin you won't believe are real
:1948 is when the Soviet Union established the {{w|Berlin Blockade}}, preventing food and other critical supplies from reaching occupied Berlin. In response, Western forces organized the {{w|Berlin Airlift}} (previously referenced in [[1037: Umwelt]], where it became Berlin Chairlift instead).
*1955 - Avoid polio with this one weird trick
:The {{w|polio vaccine}} was developed.
:"One weird trick" is a common phrase used in Internet ads: see [http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2013/07/how_one_weird_trick_conquered_the_internet_what_happens_when_you_click_on.html this article] for more information. It may also refer to the fact that polio viruses were used as the first vaccines.
*1957 - 12 nip slips potentially visible to Sputnik
:The Soviet Union launched {{w|Sputnik 1}}, the world's first artificial satellite. A ''nip slip'' is when a woman unintentionally exposes all or part of one or both of her nipples; in the context of the internet, it generally refers to a photograph capturing such a moment.
:Saying that 12 were visible from space implies that they were really big 'nip slips', or at least that only those 12 were big enough to be visible to telescopes.
*1968 - This year's assassinations ranked from most to least tragic
:{{w|Martin Luther King Jr.}} and {{w|Robert F. Kennedy}} ([[John F. Kennedy]]'s younger brother) were both assassinated in 1968 (five years after JFK).
:Assassinations are rare and considered to be always tragic, so "ranking" them trivializes the political and emotional depth of the events.
*1969 - This is the most important photo of an astronaut you'll see all day
:{{w|Apollo 11}} performed the first manned lunar landing. During this historic trip newspapers printed as many pictures of astronauts as they could.
*1986 - This video of a terminally ill child watching the ''Challenger'' launch will break your heart
:Space Shuttle Challenger broke apart 73 seconds into its flight. See {{w|Space Shuttle Challenger disaster}} for details. This was the first shuttle mission that included a teacher on board as part of the crew ({{w|Christa McAuliffe}}, ''{{w|Teacher in Space Project}}''), so there were many children -- a New York Times poll put the number at 48% of 9-13 year olds in the US -- watching this particular launch live as teachers around the country had TV sets in their classrooms showing the ill-fated launch in real time. The launch was not shown on most mainstream TV stations; only {{w|CNN}} broadcast it live.
:Since this many children did see it, there would also have been several terminal ill children watching, and likely also some press out at one such place. So they could get this picture. And again toy with our emotions.
*1989 - You won't ''believe'' what these people did to the Berlin wall! [video]
:{{w|Fall of the Berlin Wall}}.
:[video] indicates a link to a video.
*Jan 1, 1990 - 500 signs you're a 90s kid
:A 90s kid is someone born in the late 80s or early 90s (and spent most of their childhood in the 1990s). Headlines like [http://www.buzzfeed.com/melismashable/25-ways-to-tell-youre-a-kid-of-the-9 this one from BuzzFeed] toy with their readers' sense of nostalgia. The parody headline is funny because it starts precisely on the first day of the 1990s, meaning that the only "90s kids" that it would apply to would be newborns. This is a reference to a common joke about the 90s not having a concrete identity in some ways like the 70s or 80s did in terms of popular culture, and yet those born in that decade always seem to have long lists of things that make you a "90s kid".
*The title text: 1916: 'Physicist dad' turns his attention to gravity, and you won't believe what he finds. [PICS] [NSFW]
:Einstein published his theory of {{w|General relativity}}, which is a vast generalization of the theory of {{w|Special relativity}} from 1905 and provides a model for gravity. In 1916 Einstein had two sons who lived in Zurich while he lived in Berlin.
:[NSFW] is "Not Safe for Work" - a tag to identify explicit images. Here it is used to trick readers hoping to find pornography.
:[PICS] tells the potential viewer that there are images embedded.

This topic is re-used in [[1307: Buzzfeed Christmas]].

==Transcript==
:20th Century Headlines
:Rewritten to get more clicks

:1905 - How a shocking new theory, discovered by a dad, proves scientists are wrong about ''everything!''
:1912 - 6 ''Titanic'' survivors who should have died
:1920 - 17 things that will be outlawed now that women can vote
:1928 - This one weird mold kills all germs
:1929 - Most embarrassing reactions to the stock market crash [GIFS]
:1945 - These 9 Nazi atrocities will make you lose faith in humanity
:1948 - 5 insane plans for feeding West Berlin you won't believe are real
:1955 - Avoid Polio with this one weird trick
:1957 - 12 nip slips potentially visible to Sputnik
:1968 - This year's assassinations ranked from most to least tragic
:1969 - This is the most important photo of an astronaut you'll see all day
:1986 - This video of a terminally ill child watching the ''Challenger'' launch will break your heart
:1989 - You won't ''believe'' what these people did to the Berlin wall! [video]
:Jan 1, 1990 - 500 signs you're a 90s kid

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Language]]

[[Category:Clickbait]]
[[Category:Stock Market]]