Editing 1464: Santa

Broadly speaking, this comic follows a long list of issues raised about physical limitations {{w|Santa Claus}} faces, including the [http://www.daclarke.org/Humour/santa.html speed he has to travel] and other issues such as [http://www.articlesbase.com/holidays-articles/10-impossible-facts-about-santa-claus-1509493.html the omniscience he purportedly possesses and the mass of presents he has to carry]. This comic combines some basic {{w|physiology}} with the physical law of the {{w|conservation of mass}}.

More specifically, this comic refers to the common tradition of leaving milk and cookies out on Christmas Eve for Santa Claus. If one assumes that Santa eats even a small percentage of the sweets left out for him, the question comes up where all the cookies ''go''. Megan suggests that, since Santa isn't ''that'' large, he must poop them out somewhere, and wonders if he does so in our houses.

Cueball doubts that. Megan replies that mass cannot disappear completely; it has to go somewhere, to which Cueball comments that Santa has a magic bag in which be could poop. The magic bag referenced is the bag in which he carries all the Christmas presents he delivers on Christmas Eve. It is called 'magic' because a bag large enough to carry millions of presents would be much too heavy and unbalanced to carry on a sleigh pulled by only eight (or nine) reindeer. Thus, it must be magic somehow. Megan is disgusted at the thought of Santa pooping on peoples' presents.

Cueball proposes a third theory: that only a few houses are pooped in, but those that are are pooped in in large quantities. Megan says that there may not be anyone that naughty in the world (referencing the myth that Santa will leave coal (or in this case, feces), instead of presents, for those who misbehave.) Cueball replies that it is randomly determined whose house is pooped in, suggesting that it really is ok for Santa to eat for a while before going to the bathroom (like most people do....) and randomly picking a house in which to use the toilet, thus burdening a smaller number of people.

Specifically, Cueball quotes the beginning of {{w|Spock}}'s aphorism from ''{{w|Star Trek II}},'' "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."  Now at this point, regular explainxkcd readers and ''Star Trek'' fans, who already know that the film is full of references to ''{{w|Moby Dick}}'' and ''{{w|A Tale of Two Cities}},'' might expect to have a longstanding assumption confirmed, that the "needs of the many" line probably comes from the latter novel, with its dominant theme of class conflict.  And yet [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=700992 apparently the line] is [http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2013/05/07/from-sacrifice-to-rhetorical-device-the-spirit-of-spock-lives-on/ original to the film,] with credit due to its several screenwriters instead.

The title text puts forth yet another theory: that Santa doesn't poop in houses at all, but off the side of his sleigh.

 

On a side note, this is enough to power several homes for a year.