Difference between revisions of "1510: Napoleon"

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
Jump to: navigation, search
(→‎Transcript)
Line 1: Line 1:
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{{comic
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crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap 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| number    = 1510
 
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| date      = April 10, 2015
 
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| title    = Napoleon
 
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| image    = napoleon.png
 
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| titletext = "Mr. President, what if the unthinkable happens? What if the launch goes wrong, and Napoleon is not stranded on the moon?" "Have Safire write up a speech."
 
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}}
 
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==Explanation==
 
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{{w|Napoleon Bonaparte}} was one of the greatest military leaders in history, conquering most of Europe in the space of a decade. In 1814, after being forced to abdicate as Emperor of the French, he was exiled to the island of {{w|Elba}}. However, in February 1815 Napoleon escaped back to France, quickly raised an army, and overthrew the {{w|Bourbon Restoration}} monarchy for a period known as {{w|Hundred Days|The Hundred Days}}. At the end of this period (actually lasting 111 days), Napoleon was defeated by British and Prussian forces at the {{w|Battle of Waterloo}}, and surrendered a month later. This time he was exiled to {{w|Saint Helena}}, an island much more remote than Elba—in fact, one of the most remote places on Earth.
 
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In reality, Napoleon made no serious attempts to escape Saint Helena, although Admiral Thomas Cochrane reports in his memoirs that while on his way to lead the fledgling Chilean Navy in their revolution against Spain he intended to stop at St. Helena in order to free Napoleon and put him in charge of all the South American rebel armies. In the event, before he arrived at the island he learned that Napoleon had died there, six years after his surrender. However, this comic imagines a world in which Napoleon escaped once again, swimming back to Europe. Saint Helena is 2,000 km (1,200 mi.) from the Afro-Eurasian landmass, making such a swim rather implausible, especially considering the ball and chain around his ankle. And Napoleon is depicted fresh out of the water, suggesting that he did not simply swim to Africa and make his way back to Europe, but rather swam straight to Europe, a journey of roughly 6,100 km (3,800 mi.).
 
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The comic implies that Napoleon proves impossible to confine, despite escalating attempts to send him to more remote locations and apply increasingly confining restraints (handcuffs, then adding a ball and chain on one ankle, then chaining the ball to both ankles, and finally adding an electronic legband). In addition to being able to swim impossible distances, he seems to also somehow escape imprisonment in the ice of Antarctica. He also seems to be immortal (or well-preserved by the ice of Antarctica), remaining alive and apparently in great physical condition while nearly 200 years old. The final panel shows U.S. President {{w|John F. Kennedy}}'s "{{w|We choose to go to the Moon}}" speech, but implies an alternate ending to the line "not because it is easy, but because it is hard." Rather, it appears that we choose to go to the Moon not because it is easy, but because it will be hard for Napoleon to return.
 
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The title text is an apparent conversation between President {{w|Richard Nixon}} and an aide. Nixon is asked what we will do if we fail to maroon Napoleon on the Moon, and replies "Have Safire write up a speech." This is a reference to Nixon speechwriter {{w|William Safire}}, who wrote the draft speech {{w|s:In Event of Moon Disaster|"In Event of Moon Disaster"}}, to have been delivered by Nixon should the Apollo 11 astronauts be stranded on the Moon. This comic thus proposes an inversion of the actual scenario—instead of Nixon delivering Safire's speech because someone's been stranded on the moon, in this comic he'd be delivering it if someone ''weren't'' stranded on the moon. "In Event of Moon Disaster" was also the topic of [[1484: Apollo Speeches]], published two months before this comic.
 
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In the title text of [[1291: Shoot for the Moon]] the idea of missing the Moon, and ending up orbiting the Sun is the subject.
 
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==Transcript==
 
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:[Two Cueball-like soldiers with guns present Napoleon (recognizable by his Napoleon hat, aka a {{w|bicorne}}) to an officer sitting behind his desk. The officer is pointing at Napoleon who has a small chain on his hands.]
 
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:Soldier at the front: This is Napoleon. He tried to take over the world.
 
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:Officer Cueball: Exile him to Elba!
 
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:[Three Cueball-like soldiers with guns present Napoleon again to the same officer sitting behind his desk. The officer has one hand held in front of him with his palm up. This time Napoleon has a larger chain on his hands and a ball and chain on his right leg. His head and hat is battered from the battle.]
 
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:Soldier at the front: It's us again. Napoleon escaped from Elba and tried to conquer the world. Again.
 
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:Officer Cueball: Send him someplace truly remote, like Saint Helena.
 
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:Soldier at the front: Yes, sir.
 
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:[At the top of the panel is a text in a frame that breaks the panel's frame:]
 
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:Several Years Later...
 
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:[Four Cueball-like soldiers with guns (one partly outside the frame) stand behind Napoleon and one more soldier stands in front of him as they again present him to the same officer. The officer is now standing behind his desk, holding it with one hand while the other is pointing up in the air. This time Napoleon has a octopus on his head, is dripping wet, still has the larger chain on his hands and the ball and chain on his right leg. Furthermore his legs are shackled. There are pools of water on the floor.]
 
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:Soldier at the front: Well, he swam back.
 
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:Officer Cueball: We must mount an expedition to the South Pole, where we will encase Napoleon in the Antarctic ice!"
 
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:[At the top of the panel is a text in a frame that breaks the panel's frame:]
 
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:A century later...
 
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:[President Kennedy is giving a speech standing on a podium behind a lectern, while Napoleon is standing behind him with the same restraining devices as before. Napoleon now has icicles dangling from his hat and a small piece of ice on his right leg around the knee.]
 
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:President Kennedy: We choose to go to the moon, not because it is easy...
 
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{{comic discussion}}
 
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[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
 
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[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
 
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[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
 
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[[Category:Characters with hats]] <!--Napoleon-->
 
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[[Category:Animals]]
 
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[[Category:Public speaking]]
 

Revision as of 01:01, 4 May 2022

crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap 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