Editing 2005: Attention Span

{{comic
| number    = 2005
| date      = June 11, 2018
| title     = Attention Span
| image     = attention_span.png
| titletext = I didn't even realize they MADE a novelization of "Surf Ninjas." How did you-- Oh my god, it's signed by the author?!
}}

==Explanation==
People often groan about their shrinking attention span, attributing it to an increased illiteracy. This allows for fond nostalgia about the times when they were supposedly more intelligent and focused. For instance, Nicholas Carr wrote [https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/07/is-google-making-us-stupid/306868/ this article] to compile both anecdotes (which are more abundant) and research (which is more useful) to describe this phenomenon.

[[Cueball]] does the same here, but [[Megan]] retorts that he spent six hours reading over a pointless (if disturbingly plausible) theory about a banal show based off a series of bedtime stories made to entertain small children. ''{{w|Thomas & Friends|Thomas The Tank Engine}}'' is a British children's series based off a series of books written by Wilbert Awdry. It follows the adventures of anthropomorphized train locomotives and other vehicles. 

Cueball qualifies his statement: he has no attention span for anything good anymore. Megan, in reply, examines Cueball’s bookshelf, finding a book that cements Cueball’s status as a nerd who reads {{w|High fantasy|high fantasy}}. Cueball protests that the book is a classic, but Megan dismisses the fact.

To be fair to Cueball, many great fantasies have covers such as those in the comic (e.g. ''{{w|A Song of Ice and Fire}}'', ''{{w|The Lord of the Rings}}'', Randall's personal favorite ''{{w|Discworld}}''). To be fair to Megan, this book is apparently not one of them, being thicker than it is wide (like ''The Complete {{w|Miss Marple}}'' by {{w|Agatha Christie}}), a telltale sign of needless bombast and turgid prose.

Other possibilities for the dragon book are ''{{w|His Majesty's Dragon}}'' from the ''{{w|Temeraire (series)|Temeraire}}'' series or ''{{w|Dragonsbane}}'' from the Winterlands series. 

If there was any doubt about Cueball’s dubious literary tastes before, Megan dispels them in the title text, referring to a novelization of the excoriated movie ''{{w|Surf Ninjas}}'', a movie that is exactly what it sounds like. Despite the hyperbole, the ''Surf Ninjas'' novelization is [https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/9792011 very much real], written by {{w|Peter Lerangis}} (under the pseudonym A. L. Singer); Lerangis would later move on from writing licensed works to his own original children's books and is now considered an accomplished author.

The comic contains a hyperlink to an article with the same unfortunate content Cueball has apparently finished reading prior to this comic: [https://www.newyorker.com/culture/rabbit-holes/the-repressive-authoritarian-soul-of-thomas-the-tank-engine-and-friends The Repressive, Authoritarian Soul of “Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends”]. This article, the articles linked from it, further linked articles from those, links found by googling the topic, and other related [https://www.techopedia.com/definition/5199/surfing-world-wide-web web surfing] on the topic could easily add up to six hours or more of reading.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are standing together.]
:Cueball: I haven't read any books in forever. I have no attention span anymore.

:[Cueball and Megan still standing together.]
:Megan: Didn't you literally '''''just''''' spend six hours obsessively reading about the theory that ''Thomas the Tank Engine'' is authoritarian propaganda depicting a post-apocalyptic fascist dystopia?
:[This entire comment by Megan is a hyperlink to https://www.newyorker.com/culture/rabbit-holes/the-repressive-authoritarian-soul-of-thomas-the-tank-engine-and-friends.]

:[Cueball still standing there. Megan begins pacing away.]
:Cueball: OK
:Cueball: I mean I have no attention span for anything '''''good''''' anymore.
:Megan: Let's check out your bookshelf, shall we?

:[Cueball alone.]
:Cueball: What are you-
:Off-panel voice, presumably Megan: I see a dragon holding a sword in its teeth on the cover of a book that's thicker than it is wide.
:Cueball: And? That's a '''''classic!'''''
:Off-panel voice, presumably Megan: Just saying, I don't think this is a new development.

==Trivia==
2005 (the comic number) is also the year of the first xkcd comic.

The dragon described is very loosely similar to the legendary Pokémon {{w|Zacian}}, whose game had been teased at the release of this comic.
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]