2699: Feature Comparison
10.WAITER - YOU WILL WAIT 20 MINUTES FOR ME TO COME BACK TO THE TABLE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO GIVE YOU THE FREE REFILL YOU'RE ENTITLED TO, I WILL MESS UP YOUR ORDER AND THEN CLAIM I COULDN'T HEAR YOU, YOU WILL GIVE ME A 20% TIP IN SPITE OF ME FUCKING EVERYTHING UP
9. HR WORKER- YOU WILL DO 2 HOURS OF PRELIMINARY HOMEWORK BEFORE YOUR INTERVIEW, YOU WILL ANSWER MY INANE QUESTIONS COMPLETELY UNREALATED TO THE JOB YOU ARE APPLYING FOR, YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE A REASON FOR YOUR REJECTION
8. PORN ARTIST - YOU WILL SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, YOU WILL NOT SEND UNSOLICITED REQUESTS, YOU WILL NOT REDISTRIBUTE MY ART, I WILL NOT DRAW THAT FETISH ANYMORE BECAUSE IT HURTS MY REPUTATION
7. SENATOR - YOU WILL VOTE FOR ME, YOU WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE EVIL FASCIST NAZI IN THE OTHER PARTY, I WILL NOT ANSWER MY PHONE EVENT HOUGH YOU CALLED ME OVER 20 TIMES TO TALK ABOUT THE THE WATER SUPPLY
6. NURSE - YOU WILL NOT BRING MORE THAN 2 PEOPLE IN THE ROOM DURING YOUR GRANDMA'S DYING MOMENTS BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GIVE HER COVID, YOU WILL ATTEND YOUR YEARLY CHECKUP, YOU WILL TAKE THIS MEDICINE FOR YOUR EAR INFECTION INSTEAD OF LETTING IT HEAL NATURALLY
5.CAFETERIA JANITOR - YOU WILL THROW YOUR GARBAGE IN THE GARBAGE CAN, YOU WILL PUT THE TRAY ON THE PILE NEXT TO THE SINK, YOU WILL NOT LEAVE FOOD AT THE TABLE, YOU WILL NOT POUR WATER ON THE GROUND
4. DMV EMPLOYEE - YOU WILL LET ME TOUCH YOUR HAIR SO I CAN MOVE IT OFF OF YOUR FACE FOR THIS PHOTO, YOU WILL ONLY PAY ME WITH A CHECK OR MONEY ORDER, YOU WILL ONLY BE ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOUR TRANSMISSION 3 TIMES DURING THE PARALLEL PARKING PORTION OF YOUR DRIVER'S TEST, YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SCHEDULE ANOTHER TEST FOR 3 MORE MONTHS
3. COLLEGE PROFESSOR - YOU WILL RESPECT MY WORK, YOU WILL NOT PLAGIARISE, YOU WILL GET THE CITATIONS ACCORDING TO SOME SUPER AUTISTIC FORMAT, TOUCHING A WOMAN'S SHOULDER IS SEXUAL HARRASMENT THEREFORE YOU WILL NOT DO THAT, YOU WILL NOT DARE EMAIL ME WITHOUT FOLLOWING THESE SPECIFIC CONDITIONS
2. BUSDRIVER - YOU WILL STAY IN YOUR ASSIGNED SEAT, YOU WILL GET OFF AT YOUR ASSIGNED STOP, YOU WILL NOT BRING FOOD ON THE BUS, YOU WILL NOT BLOK THE MIDDLE AISLE, YOU WILL CLOSE YOUR WINDOW BEFORE GETTING OFF
1. LIFEGUARD - YOU WILL NOT DIVE HERE, YOU WILL NOT JUMP BACKWARDS OFF THE DIVING BOARD OR DO FLIPS, YOU WILL NOT RIDE 5 PEOPLE DOWN THE WATERSLIDE IN A CONGA LINE, YOU WILL NOT ENGAGE IN HORSE PLAY
