278: Black Hat Support
|Black Hat Support|
Title text: So as not to leave you hanging -- it was a problem with select() calls.
Hackers are stereotypically divided into "white hat" (good guys) and "black hat" (bad guys). The "black hat" hacker is a hacker who "violates computer security for little reason beyond maliciousness or for personal gain."
The support line is clearly for Linux, as stated in the introduction, and the client on the phone clearly has a Linux problem. However, Black Hat is intentionally giving irrelevant instructions that refer to the Windows OS (Start Menu, My Documents Folder).
Finally, Black Hat asks the client on the phone to "bear with him" and suggests that the client should use a highly obsolete mechanism to look for the answer to his problem, namely AOL keywords. AOL is well known for producing one of the earlier online communities and has since fallen largely out of favor. The client hangs up the phone.
The title text mentions the function select() which allows you to write asynchronous IO access routines by checking if it is ready to be read/written to at a specific moment. This is different than a threaded model in that it can happen in a single thread. The danger of such programming is that if you do not coordinate the reader/writer properly you can create a dead lock which can result in the consumption of a lot of resources.
- [Black Hat is sitting at his computer, wearing a phone headset.]
- Black Hat: Thank you for calling the Black Hat Support Line, your first source for Linux support. How may I assist?
- Phone: Hi. I'm running an Apache server, and the load keeps climbing out of control.
- Black Hat: Okay. First, click on the Start Menu.
- Phone: I'm sorry, this is the Linux helpline, right?
- Black Hat: Of course, Sir.
- Black Hat: If you'll just open the "My Documents" folder-
- Phone: Just a damn minute, I think you're putting me on.
- Black Hat: Please bear with me, Sir.
- Black Hat: Now, load up your AOL and go to the Keyword "Linux"-
- Phone: *click*