2871: Definitely

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Definitely

Title text: A really mean prank you can play on someone who's picky about words is to add a 'definitely->definitively' autocorrect rule to their keyboard.

Explanation

The word "definitely" is known to be commonly misspelt, perhaps because the vowels in the middle syllables are reduced to unstressed centralized ones that which alternate vowel letters may serve, or given a toneless neutral vowel on the verge of being omitted completely. (Wiktionary gives three variations, /ˈdɛf.ɪ.nɪt.li/, /ˈdɛf.ə.nɪt.li/, /ˈdɛf.nɪt.li/, which are just some of the differences you might encounter.) Remembering that it ultimately has a common root with "finite", and thus has the two 'i's, might not help if you also/instead perhaps link it in your head to "define" (which might erroneously lead to "definetely") and not "definition".

The comic gives twelve 'words' that the subtitle claims are all real, and gives their definitions, whereas in reality only the first (the definitely definitive spelling of "definitely") and the last (defying the trend by being the actual word "defiantly") are indeed so.

Word	Meaning	Notes
Definitely	Definitely	This is definitively a real word.
Definetly	Almost definitely	This "word" has a Wiktionary entry that indicates it is a common misspelling of "definitely."
Definately	Probably	This "word" has a Wiktionary entry that indicates it is a common misspelling of "definitely." This word has also been used previously in 1238: Enlightenment.
Definatly	Probably not	This "word" has a Wiktionary entry that indicates it is a common misspelling of "definitely."
Defenitely	Not telling (it's a surprise)
Defintely	Per the prophecy
Definetely	Definitely, maybe	This may reference one of several works in various fields of the arts.
Definantly	To be decided by coin toss	Use the finan of finance as the base
Defanitely	In one universe out of 14 million	This references the film "Avengers: Infinity War". In this movie, Doctor Strange looks into the future and sees 14 million possible outcomes, but only one of them is favorable.
Defineatly	Only the gods know
Definitly	Unless someone cute shows up
Defiantly	Defiantly	This is a real word. However, "defiantly" may also be a common misspelling of 'Definitely', due to autocorrect functions. Other mistakes are caught and can be corrected, but the substitution of a different real word is harder to identify as wrong, especially when the correction mechanism jumped the 'wrong way' in rendering a correct spelling (e.g. the misspelling "definatly" (with both substitution and omission errors separating it from the intended word) may be deemed incorrectly correctable to "defiantly" (a single transposition away from what was typed)).

The first three alternate 'words' listed do have Wiktionary entries that indicate they are common mis-spellings of the first, and the last has a secondary 'meaning' of possibly being such an error, but (as of the publication of this comic/edit) the words "defenitely", "defintely", "definetely", "definantly", "defanitely", "defineatly" and "definitly" are so wrong that they don't even have a corrective article created for them. Some of them don't even look like they'd even be sufficiently homophonic substitutes, though the actions of accent and dialect may indeed be capable of creating compatible (mis)elocutions for each.

The title text adds to the word confusion by suggesting the real word "definitively" (for which Wiktionary has a 'See also' link to "definitely") be made to be used (against the will of a word-wise individual) as a substitution for the original definitely definitive spelling. In certain contexts it even fulfils the same basic sense as the original and so may survive proofreading by a third party. Or even the author glancing through their own work, and the brain not twigging the increased number of riser-rich characters but mentally voicing the intended word anyway... Even if it is noticed, it may be considered more a "thinko" than a "typo" as it keeps happening, at least until the afflicted typist starts to pay close and distracting attention to their output.

This kind of substitution is a recurring subject on xkcd, with one of the more famous ones being 1031: s/keyboard/leopard/, where "keyboard" is replaced by "leopard" in the text.

Transcript

[A list of 12 words with their meanings. The lines between the words and their meaning are aligned, with the words to the left being right-aligned. Above the 12 rows of words there are underlined captions:]

Word   Meaning

Definitely - Definitely

Definetly - Almost definitely

Definately - Probably

Definatly - Probably not

Defenitely - Not telling (it's a surprise)

Defintely - Per the prophecy

Definetely - Definitely, maybe

Definantly - To be decided by coin toss

Defanitely - In one universe out of 14 million

Defineatly - Only the gods know

Definitly - Unless someone cute shows up

Defiantly - Defiantly

[Caption below the panel:]

People think the word "definitely" is often misspelled, but it's actually just several words with different meanings.

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Discussion

Regrettably for someone who has mild dyslexia, and with it in All Caps, I have difficulty seeing the subtleties of the spellings. RIIW - Ponder it (talk) 09:08, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

Seems intentional; it would be less funny if the typos were more obvious?

ProphetZarquon (talk) 13:40, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

I have defiantly left this typo as-is, on purpose, before. ProphetZarquon (talk) 13:40, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

I buffed up the Explanation (basically replaced it, the editor-suggestions for 'other not-wrong-honest spellings' didn't fit. Maybe I should transplant that down here as a game for us all to play 'aside' from any Explain). Some phrasing or language I can see being ripe for going under the scalpel/wrecking-ball of the next editor to arrive here, but I think it's a decent framework that covers most of the points. Just the one thing I nearly added, but left off, was actually going into the various Word-Meaning pairs. I can imagine why some of the Meanings are used (seem to have a sense that aligns with the letter-jumble that makes the Word wrong), but not enough to do a full table about it (as an obvious attempt at over-analysis). But if anyone else has a yen to do so then... Just remember that I thought of it first. ;) 141.101.99.59 16:14, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

You beat me to it. I was unable to ascertain any way to link clues in the misspellings to the meanings assigned to them, and I think that the meanings were haphazardly, even absurdly, assigned. 162.158.186.248 16:28, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

Not sure whether or not this merits a table, but I think the apparent reference to the 2008 film "Definitely, Maybe" is worth mentioning, at least. (I probably put it in an awkward spot, though.)172.70.174.134 17:55, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

Definitely. ... Maybe?

No, definitely. Please do.

ProphetZarquon (talk) 17:21, 25 December 2023 (UTC)

All options definotly accounted for. 172.70.211.187 18:36, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

Randall misspelled leopard in the title text. 162.158.202.7 23:23, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

I'm in the cat right now, but when I get home I'll shove the car off my leopard & see about getting a correction

ProphetZarquon (talk) 17:19, 25 December 2023 (UTC)

Diffinatley TenGolf MathHacker (talk) 17:47, 5 January 2024 (UTC)

a coin will defineatly land on heads Squishmallow fan (talk) 14:32, 9 February 2024 (UTC)