316: Loud Sex
Title text: Spherical or parabolic reflectors would of course lead to aberrant behavior.
Cueball's neighbor likes to engage in loud sex, which keeps Cueball awake at night, and she knows it but isn't sorry at all for him, so Cueball wants to get revenge. A usual way to do it is to retaliate by also having loud sex when the neighbor is not, thus inflicting the same to her as she did. But Cueball adds a science nerd's touch to it, by using an elliptical reflector dish. As shown on the schema, such a dish reflects the sound waves in a way that all waves originating from a specific point (the first focus of the ellipse the dish's shape is based on) converge after reflection to a specific other point (the second focus of the same ellipse). Cueball calibrates and installs his elliptical dish in a way that all the sound coming from his loud girlfriend's head during sex, converge after reflection to his neighbor's head in her bed. This makes his loud sex far louder to her, than hers was to him (the concentrated noise seems loud enough to exceed the threshold of pain).
The title text makes a double entendre on the word "aberrant", where a spherical or parabolic reflector would cause distortion, but the play on words leads the reader to believe that aberrant sexual behavior would occur.
: Note: that is actually the behaviour of an ellipsoidal reflector dish, or an elliptic one in two dimensions; but in 3D an elliptic one works similarly, only converging waves from a line to another line, instead of points.
- My neighbor has loud sex.
- [Cueball in bed, covering his head with pillow. There is sound coming from outside.]
- Good for her and all, but it keeps me up at night.
- And she's so smug about it.
- [Cueball and neighbor coming out of their apartments.]
- Neighbor: Sorry, could you hear us last night? Oh, you know how it gets sometimes.
- Cueball: Not really...
- But tonight I finally get my revenge. Because now I have a loud girlfriend too.
- [Megan with "LOUD" and an arrow pointing to her.]
- And an elliptical reflector dish.
- [Diagram of an elliptical reflector dish.]
- [Cueball and Megan having sex, with dish behind them reflecting the sex sound effects, in a way that they focus, through walls, on his neighbor sitting up in bed while holding her head in pain.]