469: Improvised

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Improvised
Oh, your brother is Luke. Sorry, should've mentioned that first.
Title text: Oh, your brother is Luke. Sorry, should've mentioned that first.

Explanation

In the film "Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back", just before Han Solo, portrayed by Harrison Ford, is frozen in carbonite, the following conversation occurs:

Leia: I love you.
Han: I know.

The original script had Han Solo respond with "I love you, too", but Harrison Ford felt that the character would not give such a cliched response, even in the face of likely death and ad-libbed the "I know" line that was actually used in the finished film. The ad-libbed line is generally thought to be better than the original would have been.

The comic presents several alternative ad-libs that Ford could have made in that conversation as well as at various points throughout the trilogy.

Row Col Ad-Lib Further Detail
1 1 Well, duh. Here, Han ruins the mood [a dramatic confession] with a flippant statement.
1 2 Seriously? ...Christ. Another example of an out-of-tone ad-lib. The original line is "never tell me the odds", a nod to Solo's daredevil persona. In this ad-lib, however, he is hesitant to try anything dangerous.
1 3 Oh! Hey, that explains the kissing earlier. Another absurd, out-of-character answer to a serious remark, this time with Solo acting romantically oblivious [rather than forward, as he is usually].
2 1 I'm nailing your brother. So far Leia doesn't know she has a brother. Also, since to nail means to penetrate, it should be a shock for her to know that Han is either gay or bisexual. This panel is referenced in the alt-text.
2 2 Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for scissors, though they do beat paper and rock. The original line is "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid", a reference to Luke's force training and lightsaber use. In this ad-lib, Han turns a discussion about weapons into a [unusually formal] discussion about the game Rock-paper-scissors.
2 3 Cool. Listen, this thing is really, REALLY cold. Han is in a freezing chamber in this scene. This remark is typically made by males to explain shrinkage of their, um, package in cold water.
3 1 Wowzers Wowzers is an expression used by Inspector Gadget; another amusingly out-of-character ad-lib.
3 2 Barely. They're pretty drunk. The original response here is "Uh, my team's ready. I don't have a command crew for the shuttle." In this ad-lib, Han responds to a serious situation [preparations for an important mission to bring down the Galactic Empire] with an unserious response.
3 3 Man, me too but Chewie never seems interested. Maybe I should grow my hair out. In the original film, Leia's remark "I'd just as soon kiss a wookiee" is meant as an insult to Han, implying that he's less attractive than a great hairy monster. In this ad-lib, though, Han takes her statement literally, and suggests that he is also interested in kissing a wookiee. Chewbacca is Han's wookiee copilot and fellow smuggler. Han's suggestion that he's interested in kissing Chewbacca is unexpected on many levels: firstly, Han's shown interest in Leia, secondly, Chewbacca is an entirely different species, and thirdly, Chewbacca is also male, and Han Solo is presumed by Leia to be straight.

Note: although it's spelled "wookie" in the comic, the canonical spelling of Chewbacca's species is "Wookiee".

Title text

It refers to the plot twist that Luke Skywalker is princess Leia's brother, which would not be revealed until the next film in the series. How Han Solo knows this twist at this point in the story is unknown, but he must at least know that Leia has a brother in the center left panel.

Transcript

Harrison Ford famously improvised his "I know" line in E.S.B. Here are a few of his less-successful ad-libs:
[Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.]
Leia: I love you.
Han: Well, duh.
[Han Solo in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon.]
C-3P0: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3720 to 1!
Han: Seriously? ...Christ.
[Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.]
Leia: I love you.
Han: Oh! Hey, that explains the kissing earlier.
[Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.]
Leia: I love you.
Han: I'm nailing your brother.
[Han Solo standing in front of Luke Skywalker, who is holding a blast shield helmet and a lightsaber. The training droid hovers between them.]
Han: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for scissors, though they do beat paper and rock.
[Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.]
Leia: I love you.
Han: Cool. Listen, this thing is really, really cold.
[Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.]
Leia: I love you.
Han: Wowzers.
[Han Solo sits with two others. General Madine approaches.]
Madine: General Solo, is your strike team assembled?
Han: Barely. They're pretty drunk.
[Han Solo and Princess Leia stand in an Ice Tunnel of Hoth.]
Leia: I'd just as soon kiss a wookie.
Han: Man, me too but Chewie never seems interested. Maybe I should grow my hair out.


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Discussion

Suggestion: add pansexual to the list of possible sexualities of Han when he ad-libs the line "I'm nailing your brother." This is also a valid sexuality, in which the gender and/or sex of the potential partner is considered unimportant. Therefore, Han having sex with Luke (a male) and seemingly being casual about the idea could make him pansexual. 141.101.70.43 19:47, 10 March 2015 (UTC) Am I Signing Right?

Good call, I changed it to "not heterosexual." Also, you sign by adding four tildes to the end of your comment. Bbruzzo (talk) 16:13, 22 January 2016 (UTC)