Title text: I need a lawn, so I can yell at kids to stay off it.
Cellular phone users can set darn near anything as their ringtone; even the default rings on new phones are a short string of notes put together, and serve a dual purpose as a company's trademark. Cueball is saying that there's one thing in his life he's never compromised on: When someone calls his phone, it makes a ringing sound. Of course, this is a rather minor thing on which to make a stand.
To continue the comic's theme of Cueball-as-crochety-old-man, the title text says that he needs a lawn, so he can yell at kids to stay off of it — a stereotypical "old man" behavior.
- [Cueball standing in room next to round table, looking out window. Blue and orange sunset visible outside the window]
- Narrator: I haven't lived a perfect life.
- Made plenty of mistakes.
- Got my share of regrets.
- [Viewpoint zooms in onto Cueball and table. Cell phone visible on table.]
- Narrator: But there's one thing of which I'm proud.
- One stand on which I've never wavered.
- [Viewpoint zooms in onto cell phone on table.]
- Narrator: When someone calls my phone,
- it makes a goddamn RINGING sound.