Title text: Friends with detriments.
Cueball is talking apparently to Megan. He confesses that he has a crush on her - usually the next step when a boy likes a girl (or a girl likes a boy, boy likes a boy, etc.) is to ask out the other person. But Cueball takes a different route, presumably explaining his thought process aloud to Megan. He explains that he is afraid of rejection and so instead of asking her out directly, promises to be her best friend and someone who is always 'there for you', in the hopes that this will eventually lead to Megan developing an attraction for him. This way, Cueball does not have to risk Megan saying 'No' to him, as she will be led to make the first move instead. Cueball is aware that this may not be an ideal situation for Megan, conceding that she may end up changing her definition of happiness to make her feel more comfortable in the relationship, while she is conscious of the fact that she doesn't really love Cueball. Cueball recognises that, if Megan fell for him this way, she would probably have this fact at the back of her mind.
And so painting this elaborate - but slightly troubling - future, Cueball asks Megan if she is interested. Megan, however, is not taken in by Cueball's vision, and tells him that she is going to date 'this jerk' instead, suggesting that she would much rather date someone else rather than live out the life Cueball has planned for them. Cueball declares that the other suitor "doesn't respect you", an absurdly hypocritical comment given his manipulative plan. As he said earlier that he would "tear down the jerks you date," this last line could also be him actually executing on the plan he just detailed.
The title text is a play on the concept of "friends with benefits", wherein two friends have casual sex without entering into a 'relationship'. 'Friends with detriments' suggests that if Megan and Cueball entered into this imaginary relationship, they would be friends but with the detriment of Megan not really loving him.
- [Cueball is talking to a girl.]
- Cueball: I have a crush on you.
- [Cueball is shown alone.]
- Cueball: I could ask you out, and move on with my life if you said no.
- Cueball: Or, WE COULD BE FRIENDS!
- Cueball: See, I don't want to consider that you might not be attracted to me. I'm scared of rejection, so I've decided relationships should grow :smoothly out of friendships.
- [Megan is shown sitting at her computer.]
- Cueball: When you have problems, I'll be there for you, night after night.
- Cueball: Selflessly.
- Computer (Instant message from boy): *hug*
- [Megan is shown slamming door and walking to Cueball to get a hug.]
- Cueball: I'll tear down the jerks you date, and wait for you to realize how good I am for you. That only I will ever understand you.
- Megan: Sniff
- Cueball: There there
- [Cueball is shown alone again.]
- Cueball: You don't want to hurt my feelings, and I won't ever force the issue. I'll tell myself it's because I "Value our friendship."
- Cueball: Bit by bit, I'll make you depend on me.
- [Cueball and girl are shown sitting on a rock in a park, reading a book together.]
- Cueball: You'll think about how long it would take to build this kind of connection again.
- [Cueball and girl are shown sitting on a couch drinking, getting closer, and kissing.]
- Cueball: And in a moment of weakness
- Cueball: and loneliness
- Cueball: you'll give in.
- [Megan is shown sitting at the computer with Cueball behind her facing the other way washing dishes.]
- Cueball: It'll feel comfortable and natural. You'll quietly revise your definition of love and try to be happy. And sometimes you will be.
- [Megan is shown sitting at the computer.]
- Cueball: Only the wistfulness in your gaze and the tiny pause before you say "I love you" will hint that this wasn't the ending you'd hoped for.
- Cueball: Sound good?
- [Megan is holding hands with another boy, talking to Cueball.]
- Megan: ...I'm going to date this jerk.
- Cueball: But he doesn't respect you!