Title text: Eventual headline: 'University Researchers Create Life in Lab! Darkness, Faulty Condoms Blamed.'
They start by going to a dorm, perhaps Megan's, as a bedroom would ordinarily be a private place; however, the room's door is locked. They try Cueball's dorm next, but his roommate is currently playing an MMORPG and is "in a raid", a common phrase referring to a large gathering of players that work together to defeat a difficult enemy. This also pokes fun at the fact that some raids may take a very long time to complete, in this case apparently taking on the order of 24 hours. (This comic was published on a Monday.)
In the third frame, the two try to go to the library's rare book collection. Such a place would usually be deserted, making it usable for sexual activity. However, it is currently occupied by a visiting Nelson Mandela, who is on a tour of the school.
Moving on to more bizarre places, they next try an accelerator tunnel, another place that would be very infrequently occupied by people. However, the accelerator itself is currently in use and thus the room is locked. This would be a normal safety feature to protect researchers from being exposed to potentially dangerous ionizing radiation from the particle beam.
The couple then try a beaver lodge, presumably another 'private' location. A beaver lodge is usually only maintained during winter, and then only accessible from underwater, not to mention the infeasibility of any human-sized figure being able to fit inside.
Finally, with our current understanding of physics, there is neither the possibility of hyperspace existing, nor the possibility of getting there quickly.
The caption is a parody of other laws of physics, such as "brightness is inversely proportional to distance from the source".
The title text indicates that the two eventually found privacy for sex in a laboratory, but inadvertently got Megan pregnant. This is a parody of news articles discussing whether scientists can create synthetic life in a lab. This eventual headline appears in a few 1037: Umwelt frames as "Scientists Create Life In Lab", with a similar secondary headline/caption as the punchline.
The comic 658: Orbitals is similar.
- [Cueball and Megan holding hands in front of a door. Megan is attempting to turn the doorknob.]
- Other Dorm:
- [Cueball and Megan holding hands inside another dorm room. The roommate is sitting at a computer wearing a headset.]
- Roommate: I'll be done Tuesday.
- Roommate in raid
- Library Rare Book Collection:
- [Cueball and Megan looking through a closed door. Inside Nelson Mandela and two university workers are talking amongst various items on display.]
- Occupied by tour for visiting Nelson Mandela
- Accelerator Tunnel:
- [Cueball and Megan in silhouette in front of an imposing-looking door. The door is marked "NO ENTRY" with a radioactive trefoil symbol, and has a passcode scanner beside it.]
- Sealed while beam is in operation
- Beaver Lodge:
- [Megan climbing on top of a dirt mound while Cueball stands on the ice beside it. A cross-section reveals a beaver inside the mound and a submerged entrance.]
- Frozen over for winter to keep out predators; only accessible via underwater entrance
- [Megan reading a textbook in front of a table piled with five other textbooks. Cueball looks over Megan's shoulder.]
- Cueball: Are you sure?
- Ruled out by current understanding of physics
- College Law #27:
- The availability of private space is inversely proportional to the desirability of the hookup.