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Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Keyboard Mash
WHY DON'T YOU COME HANG OUT INSIDE MY HOUSE. WE CAN COOK BREAD AND CHAT ABOUT OUR INTERNAL SKELETONS.
Title text: WHY DON'T YOU COME HANG OUT INSIDE MY HOUSE. WE CAN COOK BREAD AND CHAT ABOUT OUR INTERNAL SKELETONS.

Explanation

Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Too chatty and wordy. Cut to 1/3 in size

Cueball is chatting online (supposedly) with White Hat, who says he is frustrated because a barking dog is preventing him from sleeping. White Hat apparently mashes the keyboard to show his frustration. Keyboard mashing is often used in this way where the user makes their hands spasm across the keyboard, creating a line of text that can be compared to an angry groan in real life. Cueball is about to give some advice, but is confused by a quirk in what White Hat typed. Most of the characters he typed were on the home row of the QWERTY keyboard, (the middle set of letters on the keyboard, starting with the letters A, S, D, and F on a QWERTY keyboard) the letters A, S, D, F, J, K, and L are scattered throughout the text, but there is a 7 in the middle of this text. Cueball, (being himself) wonders why White Hat put a seven in there, because if White Hat was keyboard mashing and touched the 7 key, he likely would have hit any of the QWERTY row keys because of keyboard mashing hand spasms, but he didn't. All the other characters were on the home row. White Hat berates Cueball for always focusing on strange, tiny details. When the final panel shows what's going on where White Hat is, we see that a giant spider (possibly a joke about the spider "on the Web" here) has imprisoned him in a web and is talking to Cueball, which explains how the keyboard mashing "White Hat" did was strange.

The title text implies that the spider also wants to trap (and possibly eat) Cueball as well, or actually hang out with him in an attempt to make friends. "HANG OUT INSIDE MY HOUSE" may also have a double meaning, as White Hat is actually "hanging" from the ceiling inside his house.

The statement "I am a normal human typing with my human hands" is an oddly specific assertion from the giant spider that it is actually a human, a claim that would normally be taken for granted and had not really been cast into doubt by Cueball's inquiries about how "7" got into a string of home-row keystrokes. The title text invitation ends with a similar statement, suggesting that they "CHAT ABOUT OUR INTERNAL SKELETONS", a subject that would not normally come up in conversation (except for fans of the Pierce Quincuncial projection, as detailed in xkcd 977) but is being offered as more evidence that the typist is most certainly not a giant spider.

Transcript

[Cueball approaches his desktop computer, which has emitted a "NEW CHAT MESSAGE" from seemingly White Hat as it displays a picture of him]

[Chat log is in all uppercase:]
White Hat: CAN'T SLEEP. STUPID DOG KEEPS BARKING.
White Hat: SO FRUSTRATING. FJAFJKLDSKF7JKFDJ
Cueball: UGH, I'M SORRY. MAYBE YOU COULD...
Cueball: ... OKAY, WAIT. I HAVE TO ASK.
Cueball: HOW DID YOU HIT A "7" IN THE MIDDLE THERE?
White Hat: HUH?
White Hat: I WAS JUST RANDOMLY KEYBOARD MASHING.
Cueball: SORRY, RIGHT.
White Hat: ANYWAY,
Cueball: I KNOW THIS IS SILLY, BUT LIKE ... ALL YOUR HANDS WERE CLEARLY RIGHT ON THE HOME ROW.
Cueball: I DON'T GET HOW ONE FINGER COULD HAVE STRETCHED UP TO THE "7".
White Hat: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FIXATE ON THESE BIZARRE DETAILS?
Cueball: I DON'T KNOW.
Cueball: SORRY.
White Hat: IT'S WEIRD, IS ALL.

[Chat transcript continues, but now we see a human-sized spider suspended from the ceiling by web is using three of its legs to type on a laptop computer. Behind the spider, White Hat is upside down, almost totally encased in spider web, also suspended from the ceiling, verbalising MMM!! MMPH!!! Between them, a chair has been knocked over onto its back.]

Spider (chat dialogue shows White Hat's picture): I AM A NORMAL HUMAN TYPING WITH MY HUMAN HANDS.
Cueball: YEAH, OF COURSE. I KNOW.


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