Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Cueball is chatting with someone, who is first thought of as White Hat, but later turns out to be a spider who kidnapped him. The spider is "on the web."
[Cueball approaches his desktop computer, which has emitted a "New Chat Message" from White Hat]
[Chat log is in all uppercase:]
White Hat: CAN'T SLEEP. STUPID DOG KEEPS BARKING.
White Hat: SO FRUSTRATING. FJAFJKLDSKF7JKFDJ
Cueball: UGH, I'M SORRY. MAYBE YOU COULD...
Cueball: ... OKAY, WAIT. I HAVE TO ASK.
Cueball: HOW DID YOU HIT A "7" IN THE MIDDLE THERE?
White Hat: HUH?
White Hat: I WAS JUST RANDOMLY KEYBOARD MASHING.
Cueball: SORRY, RIGHT.
White Hat: ANYWAY,
Cueball: I KNOW THIS IS SILLY, BUT LIKE ... ALL YOUR HANDS WERE CLEARLY RIGHT ON THE HOME ROW.
Cueball: I DON'T GET HOW ONE FINGER COULD HAVE STRETCHED UP TO THE "7".
White Hat: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FIXATE ON THESE BIZARRE DETAILS?
Cueball: I DON'T KNOW.
White Hat: IT'S WIERD, IS ALL.
[Chat transcript continues, but now we see a human-sized spider suspended from the ceiling by web is using three of its legs to type on a laptop computer. Behind the spider, White Hat is upside down, almost totally encased in spider web, also suspended from the ceiling, verbalising MMM!! MMPH!!! Between them, a chair has been knocked over onto its back.]
Spider (chat dialogue shows White Hat's picture): I AM A NORMAL HUMAN TYPING WITH MY HUMAN HANDS.
Cueball: YEAH, OF COURSE. I KNOW.
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