Editing 1283: Headlines
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==Explanation== | ==Explanation== | ||
− | + | {{incomplete}} | |
+ | "Getting more clicks" is a common goal in news and blog sites, where more entries mean greater popularity and more advertisements shown which in turn brings more revenue. | ||
− | + | To achieve that aim some unscrupulous editors break the accepted social contract with readers, that a headline should summarise its article (sometimes with relatively witty wordplay) to help the reader decide what to read and what to ignore. Instead, they seek to manipulate the reader into clicking on every story through the use of tantalising yet formulaic and crass headlines. | |
− | + | They obscure (or even omit) the primary topic, using sensationalistic language to give irrelevant and/or inaccurate details greater or equal weight, with familial relationships providing a sinecure of human interest, a spurious count of items giving some semblance of scientific accuracy, and with unwarranted appeals to laziness ('quick-win'), to prurience (nudity/disability), to fear, to novelty, and/or to incredulity. | |
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+ | By failing to give a useful summary of the story, whilst attempting to force the reader to click on every story on the off-chance that it's interesting, they are intentionally deceptive and constitute little more than a form of spam. | ||
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+ | Randall parodies the formula in this comic with such headlines for important historical events: | ||
*1905 - How a shocking new theory, discovered by a dad, proves scientists are wrong about ''everything!'' | *1905 - How a shocking new theory, discovered by a dad, proves scientists are wrong about ''everything!'' | ||
− | : | + | :Albert Einstein published his {{w|Annus Mirabilis papers}}, which laid the groundwork for much of modern physics; he had an infant son in 1905. |
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*1912 - 6 ''Titanic'' survivors who should have died | *1912 - 6 ''Titanic'' survivors who should have died | ||
− | :{{w|Sinking of the RMS Titanic}}. | + | :{{w|Sinking of the RMS Titanic}}. |
+ | *1916: 'Physicist dad' turns his attention to gravity, and you won't believe what he finds. [PICS] [NSFW] | ||
+ | :Einstein published his theory of {{w|General relativity}}, which is a vast generalization of the theory of {{w|Special relativity}} from 1905 and provides a model for gravity. | ||
*1920 - 17 things that will be outlawed now that women can vote | *1920 - 17 things that will be outlawed now that women can vote | ||
− | :The {{w|Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution}} was passed, guaranteeing voting rights for women in all US states | + | :The {{w|Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution}} was passed, guaranteeing voting rights for women in all US states. |
*1928 - This one weird mold kills all germs | *1928 - This one weird mold kills all germs | ||
− | :{{w|Penicillin}} was discovered | + | :{{w|Penicillin}} was discovered. See [http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2013/07/how_one_weird_trick_conquered_the_internet_what_happens_when_you_click_on.html ''Prepare to Be Shocked! What happens when you actually click on one of those “One Weird Trick” ads?''] |
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*1929 - Most embarrassing reactions to the stock market crash [GIFS] | *1929 - Most embarrassing reactions to the stock market crash [GIFS] | ||
− | :This is a reference to the {{w|Wall Street Crash of 1929}}, the | + | :This is a reference to the {{w|Wall Street Crash of 1929}}, the largest stock market crash in history and the beginning of the Great Depression. |
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*1945 - These 9 Nazi atrocities will make you lose faith in humanity | *1945 - These 9 Nazi atrocities will make you lose faith in humanity | ||
− | :1945 is the year that World War | + | :1945 is the year that World War 2 ended. It's also the year that many war crimes committed by Nazi Germany were discovered or declassified. |
*1948 - 5 insane plans for feeding West Berlin you won't believe are real | *1948 - 5 insane plans for feeding West Berlin you won't believe are real | ||
− | :1948 is when the Soviet Union established the {{w|Berlin Blockade}}, preventing food and other critical supplies from reaching occupied Berlin. In response, Western forces organized the {{w|Berlin Airlift}} | + | :1948 is when the Soviet Union established the {{w|Berlin Blockade}}, preventing food and other critical supplies from reaching occupied Berlin. In response, Western forces organized the {{w|Berlin Airlift}}. |
*1955 - Avoid polio with this one weird trick | *1955 - Avoid polio with this one weird trick | ||
:The {{w|polio vaccine}} was developed. | :The {{w|polio vaccine}} was developed. | ||
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*1957 - 12 nip slips potentially visible to Sputnik | *1957 - 12 nip slips potentially visible to Sputnik | ||
− | :The Soviet Union launched {{w|Sputnik 1}}, the world's first artificial satellite. A ''nip slip'' is | + | :The Soviet Union launched {{w|Sputnik 1}}, the world's first artificial satellite. A ''nip slip'' is a picture of a woman where one of her nipples can be partially seen. |
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*1968 - This year's assassinations ranked from most to least tragic | *1968 - This year's assassinations ranked from most to least tragic | ||
− | :{{w|Martin Luther King Jr.}} and {{w|Robert F. Kennedy}} | + | :{{w|Martin Luther King Jr.}} and {{w|Robert F. Kennedy}} were both assassinated in 1968. |
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*1969 - This is the most important photo of an astronaut you'll see all day | *1969 - This is the most important photo of an astronaut you'll see all day | ||
:{{w|Apollo 11}} performed the first manned lunar landing. During this historic trip newspapers printed as many pictures of astronauts as they could. | :{{w|Apollo 11}} performed the first manned lunar landing. During this historic trip newspapers printed as many pictures of astronauts as they could. | ||
*1986 - This video of a terminally ill child watching the ''Challenger'' launch will break your heart | *1986 - This video of a terminally ill child watching the ''Challenger'' launch will break your heart | ||
− | :Space Shuttle Challenger | + | :Space Shuttle Challenger exploded one minute into its launch. See {{w|Space Shuttle Challenger disaster}} for details. |
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*1989 - You won't ''believe'' what these people did to the Berlin wall! [video] | *1989 - You won't ''believe'' what these people did to the Berlin wall! [video] | ||
:{{w|Fall of the Berlin Wall}}. | :{{w|Fall of the Berlin Wall}}. | ||
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*Jan 1, 1990 - 500 signs you're a 90s kid | *Jan 1, 1990 - 500 signs you're a 90s kid | ||
− | : | + | :Presumably a self-referential headline, that readers born in the 90s will tend to be drawn by these sorts of headlines. |
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− | + | The on-line headlines may additionally use a variety of tags, including: | |
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+ | * [NSFW] is "Not Safe for Work" - a tag to identify that there are (usually) images that you don't want to have on your screen when somebody at work might glance at it over your shoulder, most frequently because they depict nudity. In this case it is used in an attempt to make the reader click the link by appealing to his primitive instincts. | ||
+ | * [GIFS] indicates that the post will contain an animated GIF image - a crude form of short video | ||
+ | * [PICS] tells the potential viewer that there are images embedded | ||
+ | * [video] indicates a link to a video | ||
==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
− | : | + | :20th Century Headlines |
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:Rewritten to get more clicks | :Rewritten to get more clicks | ||
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:1905 - How a shocking new theory, discovered by a dad, proves scientists are wrong about ''everything!'' | :1905 - How a shocking new theory, discovered by a dad, proves scientists are wrong about ''everything!'' | ||
:1912 - 6 ''Titanic'' survivors who should have died | :1912 - 6 ''Titanic'' survivors who should have died | ||
:1920 - 17 things that will be outlawed now that women can vote | :1920 - 17 things that will be outlawed now that women can vote | ||
:1928 - This one weird mold kills all germs | :1928 - This one weird mold kills all germs | ||
− | :1929 - Most embarrassing reactions to the stock market crash [ | + | :1929 - Most embarrassing reactions to the stock market crash [GIFS] |
:1945 - These 9 Nazi atrocities will make you lose faith in humanity | :1945 - These 9 Nazi atrocities will make you lose faith in humanity | ||
:1948 - 5 insane plans for feeding West Berlin you won't believe are real | :1948 - 5 insane plans for feeding West Berlin you won't believe are real | ||
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:1969 - This is the most important photo of an astronaut you'll see all day | :1969 - This is the most important photo of an astronaut you'll see all day | ||
:1986 - This video of a terminally ill child watching the ''Challenger'' launch will break your heart | :1986 - This video of a terminally ill child watching the ''Challenger'' launch will break your heart | ||
− | :1989 - You won't ''believe'' what these people did to the Berlin wall! [ | + | :1989 - You won't ''believe'' what these people did to the Berlin wall! [video] |
:Jan 1, 1990 - 500 signs you're a 90s kid | :Jan 1, 1990 - 500 signs you're a 90s kid | ||
{{comic discussion}} | {{comic discussion}} | ||
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[[Category:Language]] | [[Category:Language]] | ||
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