Editing 1484: Apollo Speeches
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==Explanation== | ==Explanation== | ||
+ | {{incomplete|The framework is laid out. Needs a much more in-depth explanation, however.}} | ||
As explained in the comic, {{w|Richard Nixon|Nixon}} staffer {{w|William Safire}} wrote [http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/11/in-event-of-moon-disaster.html two speeches] for the United States President to deliver, depending on whether or not the {{w|Apollo 11}} return launch was successful. When the outcome of an event (moon landing, military actions, etc.) can't be predicted with sufficient certainty, it is a common practice for "[http://www.archives.gov/presidential-libraries/events/centennials/nixon/exhibit/nixon-online-exhibit-disaster.html contingency speeches]" to be prepared. | As explained in the comic, {{w|Richard Nixon|Nixon}} staffer {{w|William Safire}} wrote [http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/11/in-event-of-moon-disaster.html two speeches] for the United States President to deliver, depending on whether or not the {{w|Apollo 11}} return launch was successful. When the outcome of an event (moon landing, military actions, etc.) can't be predicted with sufficient certainty, it is a common practice for "[http://www.archives.gov/presidential-libraries/events/centennials/nixon/exhibit/nixon-online-exhibit-disaster.html contingency speeches]" to be prepared. | ||
− | The rest of the comic runs with this theme, making the false claim that Safire had written several other such contingency speeches for increasingly unlikely possibilities. First listed are a couple pages from the real contingency speech to be delivered in the event that the astronauts were left stranded on the Moon. Lying on top of that is a speech to be delivered in the case that the spacecraft went missing altogether, which was relatively unlikely. The speeches after that deal with the following highly | + | The rest of the comic runs with this theme, making the false claim that Safire had written several other such contingency speeches for increasingly unlikely possibilities. First listed are a couple pages from the real contingency speech to be delivered in the event that the astronauts were left stranded on the Moon. Lying on top of that is a speech to be delivered in the case that the spacecraft went missing altogether, which was relatively unlikely. The speeches after that deal with the following highly unlikely or impossible contingencies: |
+ | * The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it towards Mars, which was clearly not feasible: while the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly to Mars within any reasonable period of time by several orders of magnitude or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip. | ||
+ | ** At the time of production for this strip in 2015, several governments and private companies have designs on Martian colonization. | ||
+ | * More astronauts than expected were found in the recovered ship; | ||
+ | ** The appearance of three additional astronauts ventures into the realm of possibility normally reserved for science fiction and Twilight Zone episodes. | ||
+ | * The ship had hit the {{w|USS Hornet (CV-12)|USS ''Hornet''}} and crushed Nixon; | ||
+ | ** The U.S.S. Hornet was the ship that recovered the Apollo 11 astronauts after they completed their return mission by landing their command module in the Pacific Ocean; President Nixon himself was on board to greet them upon their return. Apollo 11 famously landed in the Pacific Ocean, and the single ship tasked with its recovery would be a very small target to hit for the technology even if that had been the intent, which it was of course not. Spiro Agnew was, in 1969, Vice President of the United States, and thus next in line for the presidency. This joke plays off the irony of the ship, and indeed President, being hit and triggering a succession, causing "President Agnew" to address the world. | ||
+ | * The re-entry craft had been sold for scrap and crushed along with the astronauts inside. | ||
+ | ** Apollo 11 observed a strict quarantine procedure after landing. This possibility requires excessive incompetence and unholy zeal for recycling programs. The command module was historically recovered, examined, and is now on permanent display in the National Air and Space Museum. | ||
− | + | The title text builds upon this last contingency speech, delving into the bathos of the horror of the spacecraft's recycling and its passengers' resulting deaths despite the U.S.'s commitment to recycling initiatives. | |
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− | The title text builds upon this last contingency speech, delving into the | ||
==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
− | :[Commentary above the speeches | + | :[Commentary above the speeches] |
:In 1969, Nixon staffer William Safire wrote a speech for the president to deliver if the Apollo 11 return launch failed, stranding the doomed astronauts on the Moon. | :In 1969, Nixon staffer William Safire wrote a speech for the president to deliver if the Apollo 11 return launch failed, stranding the doomed astronauts on the Moon. | ||
:Uncovered in 1999, it is often called the greatest speech never given. | :Uncovered in 1999, it is often called the greatest speech never given. | ||
:Today, the ''full'' set of Safire's contingency speeches has been found. | :Today, the ''full'' set of Safire's contingency speeches has been found. | ||
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:'''In event astronauts stranded on Moon''' | :'''In event astronauts stranded on Moon''' | ||
:Fate has ordained that the men who went to the Moon to explore in peace will stay on the Moon to rest in peace. | :Fate has ordained that the men who went to the Moon to explore in peace will stay on the Moon to rest in peace. | ||
− | :[Here, several lines from the original speech are cut | + | :[Here, several lines from the original speech are cut] |
:In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood. | :In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood. | ||
:Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts. For every human being who looks up at the Moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever | :Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts. For every human being who looks up at the Moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever | ||
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:'''In event spacecraft goes missing''' | :'''In event spacecraft goes missing''' | ||
:Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, and Michael Collins went to the Moon as ambassadors of peace for all mankind, and all mankind prays that they may yet return safely home. | :Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, and Michael Collins went to the Moon as ambassadors of peace for all mankind, and all mankind prays that they may yet return safely home. | ||
:We are separated from the Moon by a vast gulf of space, against which their tiny vessel appeared as but a drifting speck. For a few brief seconds, we took our eye off them, and despite days of desperate searching, never again was their vessel sighted from Earth. | :We are separated from the Moon by a vast gulf of space, against which their tiny vessel appeared as but a drifting speck. For a few brief seconds, we took our eye off them, and despite days of desperate searching, never again was their vessel sighted from Earth. | ||
:While these men are lost, they are not forgotten, and their sacrifice will not | :While these men are lost, they are not forgotten, and their sacrifice will not | ||
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− | :'''In | + | :'''In even astronauts abscond with spacecraft''' |
− | :We do not know what led Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins to betray the trust we placed in them, abandon their mission, and steer their vessel toward Mars. Nor do we know what compelled them to transmit such hurtful messages back to Earth, heaping contempt on their onetime home. | + | :We do not know what led Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins to betray the trust we placed in them, abandon their mission, and steer their vessel toward Mars. Nor do we know what compelled them to transmit such hurtful messages back to Earth, heaping contempt on their onetime home. |
:But whatever the cause of their dereliction, I call upon the United States to commit itself, before this year is out, to launching a mission to chase down Apollo 11 and return its crew to earth to face justice. We must not rest until | :But whatever the cause of their dereliction, I call upon the United States to commit itself, before this year is out, to launching a mission to chase down Apollo 11 and return its crew to earth to face justice. We must not rest until | ||
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:'''In event spacecraft accidentally sold for scrap and crushed with astronauts inside''' | :'''In event spacecraft accidentally sold for scrap and crushed with astronauts inside''' | ||
:My fellow Americans, I am as shocked and appalled as you at this stunning and | :My fellow Americans, I am as shocked and appalled as you at this stunning and | ||
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{{comic discussion}} | {{comic discussion}} | ||
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