Editing 1803: Location Reviews
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==Explanation== | ==Explanation== | ||
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− | + | Many online advertising services and social media networks (like {{w|Google}} and {{w|Yelp}} mentioned in the title text and for instance {{w|Facebook}}) allow users to leave reviews of stores, businesses and locations. For various reasons these sites often find themselves with pages dedicated to, as Randall puts it, "places that really don't need reviews" such as municipal works installations, government property, and natural landmarks. This naturally attracts both clueless people and lots of self-styled comedians leaving less-than-helpful comments on such review pages. | |
− | See explanations for the | + | [[Randall]] is just poking fun at this phenomenon by inventing possible reviews for the (fictional) location ''Canyon River Nuclear Launch Facility'', depicted with a {{w|Google Map|Google Maps}}-styled map page along with a series of so-called reviews. (There does exist a {{w|Canyon River (Ontario)|Canyon River}} located in Ontario/Canada and one in Washington/USA. Canada does not maintain nuclear weapons since 1984, so that may be a defunct launch site). See explanations for the 11 visible (out of 22) reviews in the [[#Reviews|table below]]. Of course those responsible for such a facility with {{w|nuclear missiles}} would not like the attention they would be getting in this way, especially not when one of the comments mentions a hole in the fence... |
− | In the title text Randall mentions that both Google and Yelp keep deleting his scathing reviews of several locations like the above. | + | In the title text Randall mentions that both Google and Yelp keep deleting his scathing reviews of several locations like the above. And while Canyon River Nuclear Launch Facility appears not to exist, the places/phenomena he lists in the title text certainly do, and are places that you either cannot or would not normally visit as destinations. This explains why: |
{{w|Mariana Trench}} is the deepest area of the world's oceans, about 10,994 meters (36,070 ft) deep, located between Japan and Australia. The pressure in the Mariana Trench is about 1,086 bars, more than 1,000 times the standard atmospheric pressure of about 1 bar at sea level. Despite this enormous pressure some organisms {{w|Mariana_Trench#Life|live in the Mariana Trench}}. Humans can reach the ground only by special deep-sea submarines, like Jacques Piccard did in 1960 with the {{w|Bathyscaphe Trieste}}. See reviews for the Mariana Trench at [https://www.google.com/maps/place/Mariana+Trench/@17.75,142.4978113,17z/data=!4m7!3m6!1s0x67328f3cd57de715:0x1bbe64e7a21aa7fc!8m2!3d17.75!4d142.5!9m1!1b1?hl=en Google Maps] and [https://www.facebook.com/pages/Marianengraben/108402422518280 Facebook]. | {{w|Mariana Trench}} is the deepest area of the world's oceans, about 10,994 meters (36,070 ft) deep, located between Japan and Australia. The pressure in the Mariana Trench is about 1,086 bars, more than 1,000 times the standard atmospheric pressure of about 1 bar at sea level. Despite this enormous pressure some organisms {{w|Mariana_Trench#Life|live in the Mariana Trench}}. Humans can reach the ground only by special deep-sea submarines, like Jacques Piccard did in 1960 with the {{w|Bathyscaphe Trieste}}. See reviews for the Mariana Trench at [https://www.google.com/maps/place/Mariana+Trench/@17.75,142.4978113,17z/data=!4m7!3m6!1s0x67328f3cd57de715:0x1bbe64e7a21aa7fc!8m2!3d17.75!4d142.5!9m1!1b1?hl=en Google Maps] and [https://www.facebook.com/pages/Marianengraben/108402422518280 Facebook]. | ||
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{{w|Jet stream}}s are a meteorologic phenomenon about 9 to 16 kilometers above the ground. A stream consists of air currents with speeds from 92 km/h (50 kn; 57 mph) to over 398 km/h (215 kn; 247 mph). Such jet streams are routinely used for reducing fuel usage for long distance plane travels. As it is a ribbon rather than a point, it could not have a single point on the map. Also, the jet stream fluctuates north and south; so even if it could be pinpointed, the location would be constantly changing. | {{w|Jet stream}}s are a meteorologic phenomenon about 9 to 16 kilometers above the ground. A stream consists of air currents with speeds from 92 km/h (50 kn; 57 mph) to over 398 km/h (215 kn; 247 mph). Such jet streams are routinely used for reducing fuel usage for long distance plane travels. As it is a ribbon rather than a point, it could not have a single point on the map. Also, the jet stream fluctuates north and south; so even if it could be pinpointed, the location would be constantly changing. | ||
− | The {{w|equator}} is, as with the jet streams, not a singular place but a circumference around the Earth. Reviewing the equator as a singular location is rather pointless | + | The {{w|equator}} is, as with the jet streams, not a singular place but a circumference around the Earth. Reviewing the equator as a singular location is rather pointless, though there is a whole range of specific (and interesting) locations around the equator, with countries with {{w|tropical rainforest climate}}, which many people from European and North American countries struggle with. That said, most of the equator goes over water. |
===Reviews=== | ===Reviews=== | ||
− | + | Note that any or all of the reviews could be sarcastic or "trolling", as is fairly typical on the internet, as an alternative explaination. This table assumes all the reviews are played straight. | |
{| class="wikitable" | {| class="wikitable" | ||
! Rating | ! Rating | ||
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! Explanation | ! Explanation | ||
|- | |- | ||
− | | <span style="color:orange;">★★★★★</span> || Greatest country on earth || A patriotic review (5/5), though provides no information on the actual nuclear site. The location is in the "greatest country", although this makes fun of people who go too specific, because all places in that country could be rated like this. | + | | <span style="color:orange;">★★★★★</span> || Greatest country on earth || A patriotic review (5/5), though provides no information on the actual nuclear site. The location is in the "greatest country", although this makes fun of people who go too specific, because all places in that country could be rated like this. Probably somebody who loves her or his country for having nuclear missiles. |
|- | |- | ||
− | | <span style="color:orange;">★★☆☆☆</span> || Looks cool but you can't get in || This reviewer, although initially positive, attempts to highlight what they perceive as a major flaw with the site: namely, that it is off-limits to unauthorized personnel and heavily-guarded, so it's impossible to actually go inside (thus only 2/5 stars). This is typical of a nuclear facility, | + | | <span style="color:orange;">★★☆☆☆</span> || Looks cool but you can't get in || This reviewer, although initially positive, attempts to highlight what they perceive as a major flaw with the site: namely, that it is off-limits to unauthorized personnel and heavily-guarded, so it's impossible to actually go inside (thus only 2/5 stars). This is typical of a nuclear facility, but this kind of review could also be seen for a fancy restaurant that needs very early pre-booking. |
|- | |- | ||
| <span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> || What is this store || Reviewer really, really has no idea what this facility actually is, mistaking it for a store, and thus giving it only 1 star. | | <span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> || What is this store || Reviewer really, really has no idea what this facility actually is, mistaking it for a store, and thus giving it only 1 star. | ||
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| <span style="color:orange;">★★☆☆☆</span> || Waitstaff heavily armed and very rude || This review mistakes the facility's security guards for a restaurant's waitstaff. Since the guards are protecting some of the most dangerous weapons in existence, and would not let unknown outsiders into the facility, it follows that the guards would be heavily armed, and quite rude to those who sought entry without proper permission. Thus they earn the place only 2 stars. | | <span style="color:orange;">★★☆☆☆</span> || Waitstaff heavily armed and very rude || This review mistakes the facility's security guards for a restaurant's waitstaff. Since the guards are protecting some of the most dangerous weapons in existence, and would not let unknown outsiders into the facility, it follows that the guards would be heavily armed, and quite rude to those who sought entry without proper permission. Thus they earn the place only 2 stars. | ||
|- | |- | ||
− | | <span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> || Stop doing chemtrails || This reviewer believes in the {{w|chemtrail conspiracy theory}} and is urging the government to cease spreading the chemtrails. Believing this place has something to do with it of course leads to only one star. This conspiracy was earlier mentioned both in [[966: Jet Fuel]] and [[1677: Contrails]] | + | | <span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> || Stop doing chemtrails || This reviewer believes in the {{w|chemtrail conspiracy theory}} and is urging the government to cease spreading the chemtrails. Believing this place has something to do with it of course leads to only one star. This conspiracy was earlier mentioned both in [[966: Jet Fuel]] and [[1677: Contrails]]. |
|- | |- | ||
| <span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> || This place is a symptom of the {{w|military-industrial complex}} strangling our democracy and...<span style="color: gray;">(read full review-1184 words)</span> || A slightly tongue-in-cheek reference to essays against 'The Military-Industrial complex' and how they are often copy-pasted by people who don't really understand them in inappropriate places. Or just to people who rant far beyond anything that people would ever read, except if they are already agreeing with the writer. Of course such an activist would only give one star. | | <span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> || This place is a symptom of the {{w|military-industrial complex}} strangling our democracy and...<span style="color: gray;">(read full review-1184 words)</span> || A slightly tongue-in-cheek reference to essays against 'The Military-Industrial complex' and how they are often copy-pasted by people who don't really understand them in inappropriate places. Or just to people who rant far beyond anything that people would ever read, except if they are already agreeing with the writer. Of course such an activist would only give one star. | ||
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| <span style="color:orange;">★★★★☆</span> || Anyone else notice the hole in the west fence? || The adventurer's travel guide to government installations... Posting a comment like this would (at best) bring the hole to the attention of the site staff to be repaired and (at worst) bring the writer unwelcome attention from the authorities for publicizing a security vulnerability at a missile site. This might also be a reference to {{w|Richard Feynman}}'s account of finding a hole in the fence surrounding the {{w|Los Alamos, New Mexico|Los Alamos}} facility during the {{w|Manhattan Project}}. Using the hole to get in, this reviewer had an excellent time and gives 4/5 stars. | | <span style="color:orange;">★★★★☆</span> || Anyone else notice the hole in the west fence? || The adventurer's travel guide to government installations... Posting a comment like this would (at best) bring the hole to the attention of the site staff to be repaired and (at worst) bring the writer unwelcome attention from the authorities for publicizing a security vulnerability at a missile site. This might also be a reference to {{w|Richard Feynman}}'s account of finding a hole in the fence surrounding the {{w|Los Alamos, New Mexico|Los Alamos}} facility during the {{w|Manhattan Project}}. Using the hole to get in, this reviewer had an excellent time and gives 4/5 stars. | ||
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− | | <span style="color:orange;">★★★★★</span> || Whoa, missiles! || The writer is impressed and apparently surprised to discover that the site has missiles. Seems like the reviewer just | + | | <span style="color:orange;">★★★★★</span> || Whoa, missiles! || The writer is impressed and apparently surprised to discover that the site has missiles. Seems like the reviewer just love anything with missiles and hands out five stars. This may also be a reference to the "Whoa, technology!" meme, which originated when YandereDev, a Youtuber, uttered the phrase in one of his videos. |
|- | |- | ||
− | | <span style="color:orange;">★★★☆☆</span> || Good idea but confusing web site. How do I preorder? || This reviewer thinks that one can order a nuclear missile launch here, but can't find a preorder form on the website. He loves the idea but since he cannot find out how to order there are only 3/5 stars. In reality, the decision to launch nuclear missiles often rests with the heads of state or government, and outside persons are not allowed to control them. | + | | <span style="color:orange;">★★★☆☆</span> || Good idea but confusing web site. How do I preorder? || This reviewer thinks that one can order a nuclear missile launch here, but can't find a preorder form on the website. He loves the idea but since he cannot find out how to order there are only 3/5 stars. In reality, the decision to launch nuclear missiles often rests with the heads of state or government, and outside persons are not allowed to control them. |
|- | |- | ||
− | | <span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> || Please don't launch these || A plea to the facility owners not to launch the nuclear missiles, due to their deleterious effects on human life. | + | | <span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> || Please don't launch these || A plea to the facility owners not to launch the nuclear missiles, due to their deleterious effects on human life. That Randall seems this is relevant to write, could be due to the cold relationship between Russia and the United States at the time of this comics release. Two weeks prior to this comics release [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/14/world/europe/russia-cruise-missile-arms-control-treaty.html?_r=0 Russia Deploys Missile, Violating Treaty and Challenging Trump]. This was less than a month after {{w|Donald Trump}} became president. He has been positive towards {{w|Vladimir Putin}} earlier, but after the violation USA condemned the new missile. That Randall was not in favor of Trump becoming president was made clear here: [[1756: I'm With Her]]. Even his predecessor {{w|Barack Obama}} stated, before Trump was elected, that [https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/national/obama-if-trump-cant-handle-twitter-then-he-cant-handle-nuclear-codes/2016/11/06/be398272-a463-11e6-ba46-53db57f0e351_video.html If Trump can't handle Twitter, then he can't handle nuclear codes]. Randall has earlier mentioned the codes indirectly in [[1242: Scary Names]], where he mentions the {{w|Nuclear football}}, which is much more scary than the name... It is a year ago he finished a "series" of four comics in a short period about nuclear weapons with [[1655: Doomsday Clock]] (see about the other comics at the bottom of that explanation). But it seems that [[1756:_I'm_With_Her#Sad_comics|recent events]] have made him think about it again. |
|} | |} | ||
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:<big>Canyon River Nuclear Launch Facility</big> | :<big>Canyon River Nuclear Launch Facility</big> | ||
− | :[Below that there is broken line with text in the break, and below that follows 11 reviews with yellow stars to the left | + | :[Below that there is broken line with text in the break, and below that follows 11 reviews with yellow stars to the left:] |
:Reviews (22) | :Reviews (22) | ||
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★★★★★</span> Greatest country on earth |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★★☆☆☆</span> Looks cool but you can't get in |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> What is this store |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★★★★☆</span> My cousin worked here |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★★☆☆☆</span> Waitstaff heavily armed and very rude |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> Stop doing chemtrails |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> This place is a symptom of the military-industrial complex strangling our democracy and...<span style="color: gray;">(read full review-1184 words)</span> |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★★★★☆</span> Anyone else notice the hole in the west fence? |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★★★★★</span> Whoa, missiles! |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★★★☆☆</span> Good idea but confusing web site. How do I preorder? |
− | : | + | :<span style="color:orange;">★☆☆☆☆</span> Please don't launch these |
:[Caption below the panel:] | :[Caption below the panel:] | ||
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==Trivia== | ==Trivia== | ||
* Only 11 of the 22 reviews posted are shown. For those 11 the average star rating is 2.6/5 stars. All five possible ratings are represented at least once. | * Only 11 of the 22 reviews posted are shown. For those 11 the average star rating is 2.6/5 stars. All five possible ratings are represented at least once. | ||
− | * | + | * Google Search results for "[https://www.google.com/search?q=canyon+river+nuclear+launch+facility Canyon River Nuclear Launch Facility]" locate it at 43.428445, -101.124018 in {{w|List_of_townships_in_South_Dakota#B|Blackpipe Township}}, {{w|Mellette County, South Dakota}} and include the reviews shown in the comic. |
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{{comic discussion}} | {{comic discussion}} | ||
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[[Category:Google Maps]] | [[Category:Google Maps]] | ||
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]] | [[Category:Conspiracy theory]] | ||
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