Editing 2570: Captain Picard Tea Order
Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.
The edit can be undone.
Please check the comparison below to verify that this is what you want to do, and then save the changes below to finish undoing the edit.
Latest revision | Your text | ||
Line 6: | Line 6: | ||
| titletext = We can ask the Earl for his order once he's fully extruded from the dispenser. | | titletext = We can ask the Earl for his order once he's fully extruded from the dispenser. | ||
}} | }} | ||
+ | *This was the fifth comic to come out after the [[Countdown in header text]] started. | ||
==Explanation== | ==Explanation== | ||
− | Captain {{w|Jean-Luc Picard}} is | + | {{incomplete|Created by EXTRUDED EARL GREY- Please change this comment when editing this page. There would be way too many additional [[285: Wikipedian Protester|citations needed]] for it to work here. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} |
+ | Captain {{w|Jean-Luc Picard}} is the captain of the starship ''USS Enterprise'' in the TV series ''{{w|Star Trek: The Next Generation}}''. {{w|Earl Grey tea}} is a beverage that he requests many times in the series, with the exact phrase "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaAT6-dY1QI Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.]" | ||
− | + | [[Randall]] is parodying this expression with [[#Other Words|other words]] that could follow "Tea. Earl Grey.", starting from "normal" moving to "less normal" down a long and winding arrow. | |
− | + | The machine that Picard is using is a {{w|Replicator (Star Trek)|replicator}}, which can create objects, such as Picard's requested Earl Grey tea. And thus in principle anything can be ordered, so a bit boring that it is almost just tea. And always hot. | |
− | + | It is shown when Picard orders normal tea, with other options on his mind than hot. And then two examples are given where he used some of the other words on the arrow of less and less normal words. Sticky tea and loud tea. Sticky is kind of obvious, but the loud version is a tea that screams Teeee... | |
− | The very last | + | The very last word, the least normal is: "Tea for him, too." This presumes that the replicator has produced a regular (unspecified) tea as well as an actual "Earl Grey", like a living person (either one of the {{w|Earl Grey}}s or a person named Grey with the title of {{w|earl}}). Picard has on purpose ordered both tee from him self, a person called Earl Grey and has on top of this requested a tea for this new person. |
− | In | + | In the title text, someone tells Picard that they could also wait until the Earl has been fully extruded from the dispenser to know what he actually wishes to drink, in case he is not interested in tea. It could obviously take some time to get a full person (living) out of the replicator. Again another joke on the boring things the replicator is used for in the series. |
− | + | However, where the replicator can create other things than food it is {{w|Replicator_(Star_Trek)#Origins_and_limitations|stated in the series}} that it cannot create living things as the resolution is too low. So this order would not work. | |
− | |||
− | |||
===Other Words=== | ===Other Words=== | ||
Line 29: | Line 29: | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Hot | | Hot | ||
− | | A fairly normal word to be used when ordering tea. Although that it even needs specifying is itself a clue that other variations (such as "Iced", below) are available. This is the chosen word of the five | + | | A fairly normal word to be used when ordering tea. Although that it even needs specifying is itself a clue that other variations (such as "Iced", below) are available. This is the chosen word of the five words Picard is thinking about in the first drawing. The act of requesting this is thus illustrated, though not of the appearance of the tea itself. |
|- | |- | ||
| Iced | | Iced | ||
− | | {{w|Iced | + | | {{w|Iced Tea}} is a 'normal' variation of tea. |
|- | |- | ||
| Decaf | | Decaf | ||
− | | Traditional teas (from {{w|Camellia sinensis}}) tend to have caffeine in them. Asking for {{w|Decaffeination|decaffeinated}} tea is not particularly uncommon if the drinker requires it | + | | Traditional teas (from {{w|Camellia sinensis}}) tend to have caffeine in them. Asking for {{w|Decaffeination|decaffeinated}} tea is not particularly uncommon if the drinker requires it. |
|- | |- | ||
| Good | | Good | ||
− | | A normal, subjective term. Most people drinking tea would want it to be good, but to specify it like this would perhaps be strange. This is one of the words in the first drawing | + | | A normal, subjective term. Most people drinking tea would want it to be good, but to specify it like this would perhaps be strange. This is one of the five words Picard is thinking about in the first drawing. |
|- | |- | ||
| Lukewarm | | Lukewarm | ||
− | | While this is a temperature that tea can be at, most people | + | | While this is a temperature that tea can be at, most people do not want their teas to be lukewarm. |
|- | |- | ||
| Tasty | | Tasty | ||
− | | Similar to good, most people would want their tea to be tasty, or at least flavorsome | + | | Similar to good, most people would want their tea to be tasty, or at least flavorsome. |
|- | |- | ||
| Boiled | | Boiled | ||
− | | Boiling the water used to make the tea is a common way to increase the flavor and nutrients extracted from the tea leaves | + | | Boiling the water used to make the tea is a common and normal way to increase the flavor and nutrients extracted from the tea leaves, though it is suggested that the actual ideal temperature of hot water is 75-98°C (167-210°F), according to whether it is a light tea or a dark one, and that perhaps it should be sipped at around 65°C/150°F-ish if desired 'hot'. |
− | + | Having made a tea and ''then'' bringing it back to the boil (especially after adding milk/etc) may destroy some of the desirable qualities previously imbued. | |
|- | |- | ||
| Watery | | Watery | ||
Line 54: | Line 54: | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Sour | | Sour | ||
− | | Many people do not enjoy sour | + | | Many people do not enjoy a sour taste, which can indicate rot and is a strange thing to specify when ordering Earl Grey tea. Although lemon juice is often an additive used in the same way (but as a complete alternative) to milk. |
|- | |- | ||
| Meaty | | Meaty | ||
− | | Most teas are plant-based | + | | Most teas are plant-based. |
|- | |- | ||
| Solid | | Solid | ||
− | | Tea is usually drunk as a liquid. It would be strange to ask for solid tea | + | | Tea is usually drunk as a liquid. It would be strange to ask for solid tea. |
|- | |- | ||
| Dry | | Dry | ||
− | | | + | | Tea is a liquid typically made with water and may have milk. A dry version might be either unmade (e.g. tea leaves in their un-infused form) or freeze-dried back into a dehydrated form. |
− | + | ("Dry" can also be used to describe {{w|Dryness (taste)|astringent varities of wine}} ''or'' {{w|Prohibition|enforced alcohol-free scenarios}}. For either option, it assumes a default serving with an {{w|Hot_toddy#Variations|alcoholic component}}, or an entirely {{w|Long Island iced tea|alternate basis}} for the beverage, which the request needs to be specify it is not.) This is one of the five words Picard is thinking about in the first drawing. | |
− | This is one of the five words Picard | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Raw | | Raw | ||
− | | This describes tea that has not been "cooked", so it would just be tea made with room-temperature water. {{w|Iced_tea#Sun_tea| | + | | This describes tea that has not been "cooked", so it would just be tea made with room-temperature water. This is {{w|Iced_tea#Sun_tea|possible}} but generally takes many hours. |
|- | |- | ||
| Deep-fried | | Deep-fried | ||
Line 74: | Line 73: | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Sticky | | Sticky | ||
− | | Perhaps significantly dehydrated, or thickened with enough of a hydrophilic substance, this would produce something very unlike most teas that would usually be requested | + | | Perhaps significantly dehydrated, or thickened with enough of a hydrophilic substance, this would produce something very unlike most teas that would usually be requested. |
This scenario is illustrated to show a clearly messy product that awkwardly sticks to and drips from the replicator as well as Picard. | This scenario is illustrated to show a clearly messy product that awkwardly sticks to and drips from the replicator as well as Picard. | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Grilled | | Grilled | ||
− | | | + | | Tea is not usually grilled. |
|- | |- | ||
| Fossilized | | Fossilized | ||
− | | | + | | Since tea is a liquid, it would be tricky to figure out how to fossilize it. |
|- | |- | ||
| Magnetic | | Magnetic | ||
− | | Tea is not magnetic | + | | Tea is not magnetic. Magnetic metals would have to be added to the tea, which would not be pleasant to drink. |
|- | |- | ||
| Ballistic | | Ballistic | ||
− | | Usually the replicated beverage is deposited | + | | Usually, the replicated beverage is deposited in a stationary cup, but Picard could ask for it to be dropped or thrown out instead. |
|- | |- | ||
| Unstable | | Unstable | ||
− | | This word is often used to refer to radioactive or explosive materials, which hopefully is not a property | + | | This word is often used to refer to radioactive or explosive materials, which hopefully is not a property that would apply to something meant to be ingested. Alternatively, this could imply that the receptacle into which the tea is delivered should be unstable - being unbalanced, or lacking a flat bottom. This is likely to lead to the tea being spilled. |
|- | |- | ||
| Blessed | | Blessed | ||
− | | Tea is a beverage, and it may be strange to ask a machine to create 'blessed' tea | + | | Tea is a beverage, and it may be strange to ask a machine to create 'blessed' tea. |
− | In role-playing games, items can be Blessed, i.e. having greater positive or lesser negative effects. This includes potions, a class of drinks that do not | + | In role-playing games, items can be Blessed, i.e. having greater positive or lesser negative effects. This includes potions, a class of drinks that do not include any teas but could contain the "potion of water", which may therefore be the basis of this blessed brew. |
|- | |- | ||
| Blurry | | Blurry | ||
− | | Being blurry is not a normal state for tea to have | + | | Being blurry is not a normal state for tea to have. |
|- | |- | ||
| Loud | | Loud | ||
| While molecules in tea (especially hot tea, and vitally so in an {{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (novel)|Infinite Improbability Drive}}) do move vigorously, this does not usually result in distinct audible effects. | | While molecules in tea (especially hot tea, and vitally so in an {{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (novel)|Infinite Improbability Drive}}) do move vigorously, this does not usually result in distinct audible effects. | ||
− | However, as illustrated, it seems the requested cup of tea is produced capable of emitting a high-pitched, high-volume whining sound that entirely dominates the vicinity. It actually | + | However, as illustrated, it seems the requested cup of tea is produced capable of emitting a high-pitched, high-volume whining sound that entirely dominates the vicinity. It actually says what it is, Teeeee... |
|- | |- | ||
| Virtual | | Virtual | ||
− | | | + | | Virtual tea cannot be produced physically, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange. |
|- | |- | ||
| Intravenous | | Intravenous | ||
Line 110: | Line 109: | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Expanding | | Expanding | ||
− | | In a sense, most hot tea is expanding: water | + | | In a sense, most hot tea is expanding: as the water in the tea evaporates, it becomes much less dense, increasing in "size". |
− | + | ||
+ | But most people would probably argue that the evaporated water is no longer part of the tea. Water, like most materials, usually expands as it increases in temperature—except between freezing and about 4° C, where it has the unusual property of {{w|Water_%28molecule%29#Density_of_water_and_ice|''contracting slightly''}} as temperature increases. If tea behaves similarly despite the extra dissolved compounds, then "expanding tea" would describe any tea between 4° C and boiling point. Possibly beyond, and explosively so, if {{w|Superheating|superheated}} and then nucleating points are introduced. | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Ironic | | Ironic | ||
− | | How tea could be ironic | + | | How tea could be ironic is a mystery. |
|- | |- | ||
| Segmented | | Segmented | ||
− | | Tea is usually served in a cup. | + | | Tea is usually served in a cup. It tends to stick together and form one liquid. Separating the tea into segments would not be possible. |
|- | |- | ||
| Verbose | | Verbose | ||
− | | This describes using lots of words and language, and would not likely be used for tea, because it cannot speak. Command-line computer programs often run in a 'silent' mode without displaying every step of what happens on the screen. Such programs may have a {{w|Verbose mode|''-verbose'' parameter}} that disables the silent mode. As the replicator is run by a computer, the verbose parameter could be applied to the process of tea-making, with the | + | | This describes using lots of words and language, and would not likely be used for tea, because it cannot speak. Command-line computer programs often run in a 'silent' mode without displaying every step of what happens on the screen. Such programs may have a {{w|Verbose mode|''-verbose'' parameter}} that disables the silent mode. As the replicator is run by a computer, the verbose parameter could be applied to the process of tea-making, with the replocator providing an info-dump on the molecular arrangement of the tea, together with the cup pf liquid. |
|- | |- | ||
| Cursed | | Cursed | ||
− | | As with "Blessed", above, items can be Cursed in role-playing games, i.e. having greater negative or lesser positive effects; while there are strategic uses for Cursed items, generally the player would prefer uncursed ones (neutral or blessed). Amongst curseable items are potions, a class of consumables that do not | + | | As with "Blessed", above, items can be Cursed in role-playing games, i.e. having greater negative or lesser positive effects; while there are strategic uses for Cursed items, generally the player would prefer uncursed ones (neutral or blessed). Amongst the curseable items are potions, a class of consumables that do not include any teas but does contain the "potion of water", which may therefore be the cause of this cursed cuppa. |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
Cursed items have featured in xkcd previously: [[2332: Cursed Chair]], [[2376: Curbside]], and [[:Category:Cursed Connectors]]. | Cursed items have featured in xkcd previously: [[2332: Cursed Chair]], [[2376: Curbside]], and [[:Category:Cursed Connectors]]. | ||
|- | |- | ||
Line 133: | Line 130: | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Bipedal | | Bipedal | ||
− | | | + | | Tea does not walk.{{citation needed}} This would be a very strange term to use when describing tea. |
|- | |- | ||
| Afraid | | Afraid | ||
− | | Tea does not have feelings. Although | + | | Tea does not have feelings. Although [https://www.quotes.net/mquote/901305 water may consider some things to be unpleasant]. |
|- | |- | ||
| Infinite | | Infinite | ||
− | | The scope of this request is unclear. It could mean endless production (a steady stream of tea, without obvious limits so long as servicing the request remains practical) | + | | The scope of this request is unclear. It could mean endless production (a steady stream of tea, without obvious limits so long as servicing the request remains practical) or an instantaneous production of an infinite volume of tea (possibly more immediately shown to be flawed in its method of execution). Either could result in an infinitely ''dense'' tea (eventually?), but this may no longer be {{w|No-hair theorem|identifiable as tea}} so might be one of the less practical options, even amongst those on this list. |
+ | Indeed, Randall ranks it as the least 'normal', except for just ''one'' further named order. | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Tea for him, too | | Tea for him, too | ||
− | | | + | | {{w|Earl Grey tea|Earl Grey}} is a tea blend. |
− | + | Taken along with the context of the title text, this Replicator order is for "Tea" (not otherwise qualified), a replicated version ''of'' the Earl Grey (one or other of those {{w|Earl Grey|of that name}}, possibly the {{w|Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey|2<sup>nd</sup> Earl}} for whom the tea blend was supposedly named) and a second such beverage for him to later drink. See more in the [[#Explanation|explanation]] above regarding the title text | |
|- | |- | ||
− | ! colspan="2" | Words Picard | + | ! colspan="2" | Words Picard thinks about in the first drawing, but which where not included as labels on the line |
|- | |- | ||
| Cold | | Cold | ||
Line 151: | Line 149: | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Pink | | Pink | ||
− | | Earl grey is usually an orange-brown color, not pink | + | | Earl grey is usually an orange-brown color, not pink. |
|} | |} | ||
==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
− | :[At the top of the panel | + | :[At the top of the panel there is a large caption covering two lines with a subcaption below in a normal sized font:] |
:<big>Other words Captain Picard tried at the end of his tea order before settling on "hot"</big> | :<big>Other words Captain Picard tried at the end of his tea order before settling on "hot"</big> | ||
:From most normal to least | :From most normal to least | ||
− | :[Bellow this we see Picard, drawn bald except for a bit of hair near his ears and behind his head. He stands next to a machine, | + | :[Bellow this we see Picard, drawn bald except for a bit of hair near his ears and behind his head. He stands next to a machine, that is a standing rectangle of the same dimensions as Picard. In the front there is an opening around the middle, from where the ordered items can be retrieved. There is a label at the top of the machine. Picard is giving a command to the machine. His first three words are clearly spoken out as they stand, but then at the end of the sentence, in stead of just adding one more word, there is a list of five words in a column between two gray lines. Five words are visible, but the top and bottom words are fading out, presumably other words are above and below, but no longer visible. All except the middle are gray. The middle word is placed as the direct follow up to the first three words in the sentence Picard speaks out, and this word is black like the previous three words. So this middle word is clearly the one he actually speaks out. The others where options, presumably on his mind.] |
:Label: Replicator | :Label: Replicator | ||
:Picard: | :Picard: | ||
Line 168: | Line 166: | ||
<font color="Gray">Pink.</font> | <font color="Gray">Pink.</font> | ||
− | :[To the left of the machine | + | :[To the left of the machine a long arrow begins snaking it's way to wards the bottom, where it ends in an arrow pointing down towards the bottom of the panel. At the top there is a broad and thick bar from which it start. Beneath this there are several ticks, the first three are close together and on a part of the arrow that goes almost straight down. But then the arrow curves in under the drawing of Picard, and goes over another drawing of him, placed in a captioned frame. The arrow goes around this and up on the other side, where it goes around another drawing of Picard in a similarly captioned frame. After having gone around this frame it goes a bit up before turning almost straight down before the final arrow head that points down. In total there are 36 labeled ticks on the arrow, see labels below. The ticks have very varying distance between them. There are especially long between them around the first panels with Picard, but closer together at the start and towards the very end. Above the top bar from where the arrow starts there is also a label and just below this and to the left of the long arrow is a smaller arrow pointing down in the direction of the long arrow. This small arrow has a label at its starting point.] |
:Bar label: Normal | :Bar label: Normal | ||
:Small arrow label: Less normal | :Small arrow label: Less normal | ||
Line 176: | Line 174: | ||
:Label: Replicator | :Label: Replicator | ||
− | :[The third drawing of Picard, only displays him and not the machine. He is holding a vibrating cup in both hands and has now turned the other way, away from where the machine was in the previous drawings (again clearly seen by his hair). Very large letters are displayed in three lines behind him to the exclusion of all else. Four of the 15 letters are partly hidden behind the | + | :[The third drawing of Picard, only displays him and not the machine. He is holding a vibrating cup in both hands, and has now turned the other way, away from where the machine was in the previous drawings (again clearly seen by his hair). Very large letters are displayed in three lines behind him to the exclusion of all else. Four of the 15 letters are partly hidden behind the panels frame, and seven of them are partly covered by Picard. Above is a label inside a frame overlaid on the top line of the panel, with what Picard ordered:] |
:"Tea. Earl Grey. Loud." | :"Tea. Earl Grey. Loud." | ||
:Teacup: <big>'''Teeeeeeeeeeeeee'''</big> | :Teacup: <big>'''Teeeeeeeeeeeeee'''</big> | ||
Line 216: | Line 214: | ||
:Infinite | :Infinite | ||
:Tea for him, too | :Tea for him, too | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
{{comic discussion}} | {{comic discussion}} | ||
Line 224: | Line 219: | ||
[[Category:Star Trek]] | [[Category:Star Trek]] | ||
[[Category:Food]] | [[Category:Food]] | ||
− |