User:452

Status

~~Edit: "ERR_CONNECTION_REFUSED". :(~~

I'm now unblocked, so apparently it's only temporary. Resuming at 1 request per 30 seconds.

Feed

http://c0.xkcd.com/xb/feed

Structure

feed: Array[3] {

Objectid: "a88f9898-8ae9-5b33-93e6-a5993daa922c"

img: "022f762b-9483-519c-8e6e-bd7a0ed5e2ba"

kind: "post"

poster: "Frances51"

profpic: "user-14.png"

text: "Never will follow the instructions on google maps again."

}

prompt {

reason: "RDBMS completely forgot how inner joins work"

id: "21bd52d8-a3a4-590f-8888-db854fb52ce3"

poster: "Bool Hand Luke"

profpic: "user-4.png"

img_id: "21bd52d8-a3a4-590f-8888-db854fb52ce3"

captions: Array[5]

text:"just two more trips over the horizon"

album: Array[5]

}

Prompt varies between:

img_id and captions array
text and album array

Script

xkcd = new Object();
xkcd.reasons = new Array();
xkcd.promptusers = new Array();
xkcd.prompttext = new Array();
xkcd.promptcaptions = new Array();
xkcd.feedusers = new Array();
xkcd.feedtext = new Array();

function check(field, value) {
	if (typeof value == "object") {
		for(i in value) {
			if (xkcd[field].indexOf(value[i]) == -1) {
				xkcd[field].push(value[i]);
				console.log(field+" "+xkcd[field].length+": "+value[i]);
			}
		}
	} else {
		if (xkcd[field].indexOf(value) == -1) {
			xkcd[field].push(value);
			console.log(field+" "+xkcd[field].length+": "+value);
		}
	}
}
function next() {
  $.getJSON('http://c0.xkcd.com/xb/feed').done(function (data) {
		check("reasons", data.prompt.reason);
		check("promptusers", data.prompt.poster);
		if (typeof data.prompt.text != "undefined") check("prompttext", data.prompt.text);
		if (typeof data.prompt.captions != "undefined") check("promptcaptions", data.prompt.captions);
		for(i in data.feed) {
			check("feedusers", data.feed[i].poster);
			check("feedtext", data.feed[i].text);			
		}

  });
}
next();
setInterval('next()', 60000);

(Go to xkcd, and paste it in the browser console.) I've determined 10 seconds to be the time you keep getting the same data, so there's no reason to poll the server more frequently than that.

However, since the server is now blocking my requests after 20 minutes of doing that, perhaps 10 seconds is too frequent, so I've updated the example to only make 1 request per minute.

You can check on the xkcd variable at any time.

The surveys do not change as often as the other data.

~~I'm only interested getting in the reasons, feel free to adapt this script to get whatever else.~~

Script updated to get all text fields. Feel free to adapt it to get the image URLs.

Results

My array is currently:

feedtext[601]
feedusers[203]
promptcaptions[441]
prompttext[95]
promptusers[82]
reasons[91]

Reasons

lights are out, hard drive is taking a nap
could not evade skifree yeti
CRM-114 unit malfunctioning
Desystematized chronodynamic balancing detected in VX Module core.
Please Insert Riven CD 4
cat-like typing detected
sysadmin trapped in well
error
butter underrun
Something went wrong: Something went wrong (Something went wrong)
hard drive oil depleted
oh jeez there's a lot of you can you all just hang on for a second please oh frig this is so bad
PRESS PLAY ON TAPE
temporal paradox
Main Bus B Undervolt
tape on write-protect hole fell off
RDBMS completely forgot how inner joins work
undefined is not a function, which really makes you think
database configuration violates the Prime Directive
User is not a typewriter.
server fell in ocean
mean connection time exceeded
spontaneous splinal dereticulation
nanobots in the water
turns out server was on circuit with lightswitch by door
user put spaces/vowels in filename
TRIED TO READ 9TH SIDE OF 8 TRACK
the system / is down
electrons too big, stuck in wafer
error: error code [error] while decoding error code
butter didn't suit the works
illegal carrot detected in mail queue
virtual memory got too real
could not initialize sound blaster 16
ERR:INVALID DIM
aol window in front of netscape window
bookmarks migrated to Venezuela
i hurt myself today / to see if i still feel
lp0 on fire
unexpected timezone drift desynchronization
the butter you have dialed is invalid or no longer in service
butter overflow
User accepted terms but not conditions
wrong files
data too big
http is down
server room haunted
confirmation BIOS
HTTP 403 and 3/4ths
general uncertainty
error: operation completed successfully
hung up prematurely
floating point unit no longer afloat
SQL ejection
guru meditation #00000025.65045338 press left mouse button to continue
+++ OUT OF CHEESE ERROR. REDO FROM START +++
CAPTCHA response indicated parahuman intelligence
butter to text interface not found
friday squid blogging
server aperture too narrow for capital letters
GSM filter change required
screws are stripped
sitemap was held upside down
UTF-31 decode error
spin number must be of the form n/2
cumulonimbus #19 too rabbitlike
the server is temporarily permanent. Please try another also.
HTTP 418
spin cycle still active
Dave's not registered, man
This page contains content from the Open Source Initiative, who have blocked it on copyright grounds.
minimum recursion depth not reached
Unable to cast variable of type Int32 to Magic Missile
server had too much to drink
too many hands on the keyboard
I got pretty distracted trying to figure out how big space is
subtle threading bug in turing-complete version numbering system
firewall caught fire
unimplemented trap
helvetica scenario
ethics in journalism
dictionary too stiff to read
<%= reason %>
overcurrent undervolt caused by vacuum cleaner on same circuit
our buffer runneth over
insufficient smoke for current mirror array
PC LOAD LETTER
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
qubit indeterminate
previously-recovered files overwritten by newly-recovered ones
cannot save, there's something gross on the S key
Baby ur much 2 fast
files fell out
out of electrons
soonerist sperver fid dot nile
files overwritten with more interesting content
a user's middle name was
transfer interrupted by incoming fax
error reading drive B. Abort, Retry, Fail?
out of monads
This copy of Ubuntu is not genuine and you have not yet resolved this issue.
microwave running

feedusers

Usernames uses in the feed.

@meganamram
Addison1
Addison8
Agric Silverfinger
Aidan2
Aiden1
Aiden5
Aidenn Aberforth Milne
Alice1956
Amanda08
Anonymous
Apple Martin
Arthur17
Arthur19
Ashley2009
Ashley8
Ashley92
Ayden1952
Bailey08
Bailey2001
Barbara1974
Benjamin Kenobi Sr
Benjamin1970
Bool Hand Luke
Brandi9
Brittany1
Caden14
Caden2010
Candice10
Carol04
Chad80
Charles18
Chelsea2006
Cheyenne15
Cheyenne1988
Christina Applecare
CMOS Def
Curic Copperfinger
Cynthia1995
Cynthia99
Dakota09
Dakota94
David St. Hubbins
Debbie26
Debbie3
Debbie62
Deborah3
Delta Elroy Backslash
Destiny1983
Destiny89
Dillon2008
Donald19
Donna2
Dorothy7
DragonBall Cooper
Dunston Chexin
Dustin46
Earl Sinclair
Egbert Bentley White
Eliezer Yudkowsky
Elon Musk
Emily15
Eowyn L'Oreal James
Euphegenia Doubtfire
Facebook Scott Fitzgerald
Flash Groupon
Frances29
Frances51
Frances99
Gary1951
Gary8
Gary86
George Debian Bush
George Reagan Renesmee Martin
Green Mario
Greg2004
Hatsy Collins
Henry05
Henry4
Horsepower Lovecraft
J. Alfred Leftshark
Jack3
Jack39
Jacob10
Jada5
Jaden21
Jaden Riley Rufio Tolkien
Jaina Khloe Rowling
Jalen81
James URL Jones
Jason15
Jayden79
Jennifer1
Jeph Jacques
Jerry18
Joe Biden
John Wilkes Knuth
John2
Jonathan27
Joshua80
Joshua84
Justin28
Justin87
Kaden61
Kaitlin1976
Karen3
Kathleen78
Keira10
Keira2002
Keira48
Kelsey1970
Kelsey1996
Kenneth94
Kenneth96
Khloe14
Khloe2
Kilroy
Kim5
Kristy2007
Larry Ronald Hubbard
Larry1994
Lauren Ibsen Dolores Amit
Linda08
Lindsay2011
Lisa1995
Livemau5
Lord Gaga
Lord Mondegreen
Louis Reasoner
Madison19
Madison80
Malik2
Margaret11
Margaret5
Marie10
Marie12
Marie3
Marissa Mayer
Mark Zuckerberg
Mark2006
Mark2007
Mark92
Martin Van Halen
Matthew2006
Mavis Bitcoin
Michaela2006
Michelle11
Minecraft Holmes
Misty3
Myspace Tom
Norton Ghost Dad
Notorious L.H.C.
Padme Dorothy James
Pam06
Patricia03
Paul1957
Paul50
Player One
Player Two
Professor Monoculatus McToff
Raymond6
Ronald22
Ruth3
S. G. Dukat
Samuel19
Samuel49
Sarah1976
Sarah2005
Sarah55
Sharon91
Sharon99
Shaun1960
Shaun46
Shaun6
Sheena2005
Sherri97
Sidd Finch
Sierra10
Sierra7
Stacy07
Stacy14
Steven02
Steven2002
Steven50
Susan11
Susan25
Taylor1990
Taylor1998
Thomas2
Tim21
Tim87
Tina Belcher
Todd33
Tonya22
Tonya38
Tracy1977
Tricia1
Tricia14
Trinity1989
Virginia1961
Virginia2006
Wil
Wric Tungstenfinger

promptusers

Usernames uses in the prompts.

Aidan2
Alice1956
Anonymous
Apple Martin
Ashley2009
Ayden1952
Bailey2001
Barbara1974
Bool Hand Luke
Brandi9
Caden14
Caden2010
Chad80
Charles18
Chelsea2006
Cheyenne1988
Christina Applecare
CMOS Def
Curic Copperfinger
Dakota94
Debbie62
Deborah3
Destiny1983
Egbert Bentley White
Eliezer Yudkowsky
Elon Musk
Eowyn L'Oreal James
Euphegenia Doubtfire
Facebook Scott Fitzgerald
Frances29
Frances51
Gary1951
Gary8
Green Mario
Hatsy Collins
Henry05
Horsepower Lovecraft
Jack39
Jalen81
James URL Jones
Jayden79
Justin87
Kaden61
Kaitlin1976
Keira10
Keira2002
Kelsey1970
Kenneth96
Larry Ronald Hubbard
Lauren Ibsen Dolores Amit
Linda08
Lindsay2011
Lord Mondegreen
Margaret5
Marie3
Mark Zuckerberg
Mark2007
Martin Van Halen
Michelle11
Myspace Tom
Pam06
Paul1957
Player One
Ronald22
Samuel19
Sharon99
Shaun1960
Shaun46
Sherri97
Sierra10
Sierra7
Stacy07
Stacy14
Steven50
Susan25
Tim21
Tim87
Todd33
Tonya22
Tonya38
Tricia14
Virginia1961
Virginia2006
Wric Tungstenfinger

feedtext

Captions used in the feed

"...The Aristocrats."
"Carpe diem!" my grandfather said to me. This is a picture of him when he was younger.
"Is it symmetric this way?"
"My God, it's full of starS." "WeLL, DURR"
"Space duckin'" By led blimp
"sun" glasses.. lolz. heh.
1. ALLLLLLBYMYSELF
2. BEWARE KILLER TREES WITH KILLER BEES INSIDE
3. BROKEN
4. CATSANDBIRDS
5. caturday
6. DARE to #DREAM
7. delfie
8. fallingfromorbit
9. hashtag
10. Hopeicanfly
11. illuminati
12. lifehacks
13. livefeed #colonoscopy
14. Long_Exposure
15. LOVEATFIRSTSIGHT#JUSTMARRIED
16. me #throwbackthursday
17. Nailpolish
18. nofilter
19. nomakeup #justgotup #wow
20. nomakeup #justnatural
21. nomakeup #natural
22. selfie #imatree #thuglife
23. SELFIE #WIN #LIKEABOSS #HASHTAG #YOLO #REPRODUCTION #THATSTHEWAYITISDONE #CTF #COOL #KEEPITREAL #BEQUICKORBEDEAD #SWAGGGG #RACE #ENGLISHDYCTIONARY
24. Toobigtofall
...Freudian sense tingling...
???? USA! USA! ????
???? USA! USA! USA! ????
????????
??????????!
?????????????
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
[user was banned for this text]
1 like = 1 little girl feeded to this cancer dying walrus :'(
100 meters in 4 and a half seconds
20 Facts that will infuriate hipsters
99% of people are too scared to share this post! share if you are one of the 1%
A boa constrictor that has swallowed a hat
a graph showing the amount of time i spend outside
A soulful rendition of "old man river"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
About time someone brought me that flattened basketball
about to die lol
ack
Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough...
Alan?
All things considered, it turned out nice again
Allons-Y!
Always get a full nights rest
amazons newest delivery method
An ant figured out how to make free electricity with this one weird trick! Scientists hate him!
An unsuccessful bike design...
and suddenly, popcorn
ANGRY CATS SMASH ANGRY BIRDS
ants, zomg, ants, everywhere
Anyone know what's wrong with my thumb?
anyone seen some uruk-hai? Asking for a friend.
Apparently it's a thing now...
Apparently, it's called "BEAR Fishing"
are you sure this is a commandline?
aren't rabbits supposed to jump out??
As the sun set on the day, I thought about all of my failings, and didn't realize it mattered anymore. I was finally free of the day and could start all over again tomorrow without any judgement weighing on me.
As the sun sets on us, we know we must escape.
As viewed on a Macintosh plus
Aside from the Fact I Was Buried Alive, The day has been surprisingly good.
Astronauts tossed out of ISC called "Nuisance" by commuters
awesome sunrise this morning #lenscap #nofilter #hashtag
AWESOME! This cloud was so much larger than my thumb!
Ayyyy LMAO!
Bacteriophage is worth 6 points
Banana invasion in progress
Bangarang Motherfuckers
Barraco Barner is our nasion's prezident.
Bay-bae lolz
Bazookateer crossing
Beer Pong alone again! #YOLO
Best Christmas gift EVER!
best day evar!!!!
Best Halloween costume yet!
best republican caucus ever!
Best. Funeral. Ever.
better go inside, I need to polish my shoes
big ben is going down.
Big bowl of star-flakes
big data strikes back
bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip
Birds are less cute the closer they are.
Black as the crows that peck out my eyes
Black begins and wins.
bowTieght!
Boy, I tell you what. I bet the roads on the moon ain't this smooth.
Breaking: World in terror as alien from "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" video lands on Earth, announces world tour
brokkolis and sweet potato, nice
Burrito night
Cakephants are my new friends
Can somebody call my cell phone? It's not lost, I'm just lonely.
Captain obvious strikes again
Car tiddlywinks proves success
caught the sunset tonight at midday
cest ne pas un pipe
Check out my new cat! Sooooo cute!
Check out my new sonic oc!
Check out my new turntable! #audiophile #lookatme #vinyl
check out my usb sword!
Click this text and you will find the love of your life within the next 20 minutes! If you don't, your mother will die a horrible death!!!
Click to show secret text
Close the pod bay door, Hal.
Coco Puffs: Now with your complete daily dose of gamma radiation
Copernicus: The early years
CORNFLAKES AGAIN!?!?!??!?!??!
Crocodile Pink Eye
cthulu caught me slipping
Dad, Mom, meet my boyfriend
Daisy, Daisy, Tell me your Answer True.
damn tree!
Damn, two o'clock already?
damn. that squirrel's got a ball
damnit, another drunken tree in the road
Dang! Inflated tires with Helium again!
day 3: the turnip still refuses to break up on re-entry
Deal with it
Death star model 0.0.73
Definitely not ordering from Walt Orfman's Pizza Restaurant again.
dentists are going crazy about this weird Teeth whitening trick discovered by British mum. as seen on CNN.
Desystematized chronodynamic balancing detected in VX Module core
Did nyancat open a cycle repair shop?
did this exist as a microwave?
Dinosaur extinction: The final Phase
Do I look like a penguin?
Do my feet look fat?
Do you care to #engage with this #content
Do you feline lucky, punk?
Do you have a lighter?
Does anyone know if this is supposed to happen
Doesn't like being referred to as garfield
Dominos delivers!
Don't have a cow, man
drive like an ass, be slapped like an ass!
drivers feel stupid for not knowing this one simple trick
Duck Duck Go's secret algorithm
Dude, where's my car?
DX(X^LN(Y!)/xy*pi=screw you
Early Heavy Metal Story Boards Discovered
engage!
Et boum! C'est le choc!
Every day my damn cat makes this face
Everything maKes perfect sense now.
everything makes sense now
Exact composition of this... thing... is yet to be determined.
Existance is an illusion
father & daughter re-unite!
Fear the day we Mole People breach the surface of the Earth like Mewling Babes, FOR THAT WILL BE YOUR LAST! #Ihatethesun #goditsbright #isthisworthit?
Field Trip!
filming the sky was boring. Turns out my foot is more boring...
Finally found a way to disable the flash on my camera
First day of school.
First post, be friendly
First screenshot of portal 3 !!
First time posting, please be nice
Fission, fusion, what's the difference?
Fluffy's awfully well behaved today
flying car - it is now officially the future
Fnnnaarrrrr!
For my book report presentation, i'll be acting out "50 shades of gray"
For sale: planet, barely used. slight pest problem
Foreign clouds take british clouds' jobs
forgot to turn the oven off!
Formal on top, party on the bottom
found this in my fridge. Think it's still good?
FRom the creators of AIR BUD, presenting air chip, the Soccer squirrel. watch your Nuts! Summer 2016
fuck fuck shit shit, what did i do last night?
Fucking CAKE
George was a good little monkey, and always very curious.
goddamnit, that's the fourth time this week!
google bots have uncovered some missing bits
Got a hip mustache! What do y'all think?
Got your nose!
Grandma's new boyfriend is a keeper!
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT"S ALL GONE TO SHIT
Guys did you know we can finally make maglev hammocks thanks to eletropermanent magnets
haha oh my cat
Have fun stormin' da castle.
Have you ever seen a sitting cow before?
He did say it was edible
He nailed it!
hello darkness my old friend
help wanted. inquire within.
Here comes the sun, do do do do...
Here we see the last two simple machines; the inclined plane and the rocket board
Hey, it's windows 7 again!
hey, so, we need to talk about your sphere-packing problem.
Hey, what did you mortals do with my chariot?
Hide! It's Un Chien Andalou!
Hmm The Earth halves kinda look like buts.
holy crap, seems the generate dog function works for humans too!
Homo helicopteris captured in bali
Hoverboard to full power!
How did I get here?!?
how do you get the screensaver off?
I think I need new glasses.
i am never going to the beauty school for my manicure again
I blame supernasa
I bought you a RING... ooh shinything!
I can take photos with my teeth!
I certainly wasn't going to bury this one
i don't remember this scene form star wars
I don't think I really understand what this is.
I feel like I've been saying "wow, my mom was right" a lot recently
I find this picture reflects my soul.
I forgot the two scoops of rasins!
I found a three fingered kitten!
I found it!!!!!!!
I found this in my navel, should I be worried?
I guess I only have myself to blame.
I hate trying to win bowls of cereal in 'skill tester' machines
I havE A SLIGHT MELTING MOTHER-IN-LAW ISSUE
I have tasted many fish
I just can't see the point anymore
I knew it would be a bad idea to go during the mating season
I lost my wits
I mean, it's no mona lisa, but I think it's at least, like, a last supper
i need to do my laundry more often.
I put on my wizard robe and hat
I said we'd get on like a house on fire.
I say: nuts to that!
I see you have constructed a new lightsaber
I should really separate those
I Swear this dress was yellow and blue
I think I've figured out how to setup PostgreSQL
I thought it would be bigger
I thought of it, and it happened
I told him, that retracting flaps would destabilize plane, but he wouldn't listen
I told you I would make it. I'm just a little late...
I told you to keep the raptors secure
i want to ride my bicykle (i found it in pripjat)
I want to run, but my legs won't move :(
I was cleaning jello off the floor for *AGES*
I was late
i wonder why you left me here.
I would never have believed in atlas if I hadn't seen him for myself
I wouldn't eat that if I were you.
If classy cats evolved from regular cats, why are there still regular cats? checkmate, evolution.
if dreams can't come true, then why not pretend?
if i don't return by 5pm give this photo to my kids when they grow up
If it quacks like a duck... in spaaace!!!
if you gaze long enough into the oscilloscope, the oscilloscope gazes back at you, longingly.
If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it
if you squint, you can see that it's actually an adequately bearded grain of 1986 millet signing the insurance policy of versailles.
I'll just go buy cigarettes
I'll miss the sparrow with my sparrow missile
i'll never get tired of this.
i'll see you on the dark side of the moon
I'll show you a forbidden electronic transition!
I'm a fighter!
I'm a Real Boy!
I'm so lost. My gps told me to go this way, and now it has stopped working entirely
im sure there is a dad joke in this somewhere
in an ideal vacuum, at what point does this fish realize it's going to die?
In hindsight, it makes perfect sense
In that moment, the reddit realized he'd never wanted it to be this way. He'd never wanted any of it.
in the future, we will evolve into limbless creatures who subsist on judging.
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king
in theathers, close to you
introducing the yolo distribution
is good idea yes
Is it canibalism if i eat my own nose?
Is it really today, already?
Is that a huge salad falling over new york?
is the eject button meant to do this?
Is this a rhombus? No one seems to know.
Is this real life?
it is better to light a kindle than to be a cursor in the darkness
It isn't safe on earth any more. Goodbye!
It showed up on the photo, but not irl???
It's a Finger trap
it's my hand supposed to do this? #thanksobama
It's not a moon, it's a space dolphin!
It's the little things
I've been robbed!
I've found a new way to feed the poor
I've made a huge mistake
I've never been so aware of my own hunger
i've never felt so alone.
i've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams
John really wanted to travel north, however that side of the road was missing
just another cat video
Just another day in paradise
just cos()
just found this in my garden. Should i be worried?
Just Got A new camera phone!
just look at that motherfucking satellite
just two more trips over the horizon
kang, do i look good in this?
kill the pig cut his throat spill his blood
Kite powered bike leaves oil executives speachless.
ksp mission success
Larry asked me to be his wingman
Life is hard three standard deviations to the left.
like my new haircut?
lol, no i didn't jump
Look at my new blue dress!
look at my new watch! #justflavourflavthings
Look at that fart propulsion
Look I genehacked a cowhorse!
Look out!
look what happened to my satellite
Lord of the Rings Episode IV: Revenge of the ents
love it!
Magnificent as fuck
Magnified 10,000 times
Making a new house rn brb #Homeless
Making grape Plasma, om nom nom!
Malcovic, Malcovic, Malcovic, Malcovic!
Man with face of clock discovered in Beatty, Nevada; Scientists befuddled
Man, it's windy
Man, that cool-ade guy really lost some weight lately.
Manchester United had made a terrible mistake with their new striker...
Mari-OH
marvel universe howard the duck returns
Max gentleman
may 4th, 2015 nasa finally launches the long delayed Starbucks module for the iss. The first barista is scheduled for a three month stint
Maybe "Sandworm Petting Zoo" was a bad idea.
Maybe they should have put the gun control check point outside the building...
me and all my friends
Me, before the topical ointment
Medieval theme on the internal company conference. My Logo proposal. Comments?
Mentos and lava
Meritocracy is a pipe dream
Minecraft has fingerprints Now!
Mistakes were made.
moo!
More advantages to USB type c revealed
Moses lied to me.
Muahahahahahah
My baby is learning how to write!
my class bet me this couldn't get 500 clicks!
My feet are cold. Can anyone warm them up?
my friend posing while a plane flies by
MY GIRL'S SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT WAS A BLAST!
My God! It's full of stars. No, wait. Swords, it's full of swords!
My hero
My Hobby: freaking people out
My hobby: pretending blank posts have content.
my neighbors don't understand the concept of privacy
My new cat is awesome
my new duvet cover!
My new tattoo
my new toaster has some strange attachments
My nose will grow now.
my rockets have formed a cooperative but I have to do the dishes
my scarecrow took some additional measures of its own...
My screen test for Top Gear didn't go well...
My selfie stick broke.
My tastes are very... singular
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na batcat! batcat! Batcat!
Nasa declares war on Gwaihir, Lord of the Eagles
NASA deny budget cuts have changed their plans
Nasa is fully funded
Need a Haircut
Never will follow the instructions on google maps again.
New candidate announces run for presidency of the united states
New car flipping world record set
New means to help collect more evidence
new phone who dis
New tat turned out pretty good. Kinda weird having a guy stare at my ass for that long but whatev, it's worth it. DASHIE 4 LYFE.
NICE MULTIPANTS
night sledding deserves a quiet night
No guitar without a sombrero
No more sorrow!
No wants to hear me talk about my cat
No, I've never performed brain surgery before, but how hard can it be?
nobody knows the trouble i've seen
Not Again :(
Not only was the moon landing staged, but it was done with puppets.
Nothing new under the sun
now you're hungry too.
NUTS!
Oh god how did this get in here I am not good with cameras
Oh god is it still following me?
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Oh God! It's happening again!
Oh here we go
Oh no! Not again.
Oh no, I'm not equipped to ride a digital wave of this size!
Oh no, it's the moon
Oh, that's where I left them!
Okay, I concede that maybe using a trebuchet is not the best shortcut
omfg, space bugs
OMG! Kittens!
On a scale of one to ten, I fucked up.
On the plus side, the exhaust system does work
One of those mornings...
Only managed to clock 87 miles Per hour. Crap.
our ballistic artillery now come with advanced fire-control systems
Our flying car attemps seems to got out of hand
parallel universe, here i come! #sweet!
PARKOUR IN ACTION
Parlez vous Francais?
Parrot to the nth root of a short journey
passed another hitch hiker
Person at checkout freaked when she saw what I was buying.
Perspective issues
photo proof for you skeptics out there
photobombed by a bird trying to take a picture of a bird
PIctures from my trip to Mount Binary
Pizza TIME
Press 'continue' to abort.
Pretty sure ball pits aren't supposed to be like this
Probably a universal turing machine, but too lazy to solve proof
Proof Global Warming Is hoax!!!!!
PROOF THE MOON LANDING WAS A HOAX!!11!1!11!one
racing stripes on hoodies are cool.
Real Eyes Realize real lies.
Removed microwave door, new easier to watch the food cook
Research shows a new perspective is easily gained.
results of toddler-sourced upscaling algorithm
reverse et
Robert'); Drop Table students;--
Rock, paper, FACE
Rollerskating always was overrated
Said the duchess to the vicar.
Sailor Moon Cosplay Queen
Saw this on the TV. I didn't turn it on. It was just there. The TV is unplugged and it's still there. Should I call a repairman?
school's out!
Scientists create first man-clock hybrid
Scientists take photo of Dark energy for the first time, you will not believe how it looks!
Screw it, here's a cat pic
SEINFELD in SPAAAAAACE!
Selfie in corner store #35. $10,000.
She's got interesting taste in men.
should i see a doctor about this?
SIDE GOER 4
Since the Droste Incident, federal regulations have prohibited these types of experiments.
smiling is for optimists
Snapped this with my phone, what is it?
So long, and thanks for all the fish
So thats What Jesus did
So, it has come to this...
so, scientology...
So...Magnets, right?
Someone will Make this About ObamaCare
Something seems to be wrong with my car
Something tells me this is all part of a larger experiment
Sometimes all you can do is wait
Somewhere, this exists.
Sonogram of our baby! Adorable, Don't you think!? Looks JUST like daddy!
SOYUZ SOLAR ARRAY decimating couch
Spiders. Nope.
SQUIRREL WITH PENCil in mouth running around in circles
Stay in the moment. I want you to fully enjoy it.
Strange ingredients for a grilled cheese sandwich, but the recipe did say 'epic'...
Stuck in a loaded canon. Again. FML!
sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows...
super high intensity training at NORAD
Taco bells give away resulted in unplanned consequences for downtown Houston.
tail recursion spotted in the wild!!
Testing my new DIY nuclear power plant
thank you for restoring my faith in the justice system
Thanks Obama!
that awkward moment when you are staring at Barad-dûr for its architectural merits.
That is one dapper bird.
That is, in fact, a squirrel.
That was the last time Spencer would drop a bowl of salad. "My work on antigravity begins now!" he proclaimed.
that's me!
That's not a chicken
That's not a nut!
that's what she said... assuming I heard Her right. Can I come home now?
The Arecibo Observatory looked bigger in the movie #disappoint #bummer #bond
The birds found the hobbit hole
The Captain Crunch Kraken
The cat brought in another bird.
The choice is simple.
the dark side of the moon, amirite?
the day of the fingernail clipping has dawned
The Dissolution of Parliament.
The ents met the triffids
the event horizon returned
The feeling that somewhere, a duck is watching you
The French space program
The goats! They mutated! They are now airborne!
The HORROR!
The horrors of war
The knids are hungry
The last person to be surprised by a selfie
The metric system costs thousands of lives each year
The moon landing was a lie
The moon looks weird today
The Moon Will Eat What it will
The normal distribution looks higher from the bottom...
The press conference lasted shorter than expected!
The Prodigy is in town!
The prophecy was true!
The real reason for hillary's sudden data loss
The recursive algorithm produces this unique Fractal Image
the rest is darkness and decay
the saddest moment of my childhood
The solution to all life's problems
The spirit is strong, but the car is totaled.
The tea party was right about GMO bicycles
The time has come.
The vlog was better than the movie
Their vengeance was swift, but surprisingly subtle...
There goes the neighborhood...
There's a 66% chance that the other door won't be broken.
These aren't my sandwiches
These cravings will never stop
These hoof warmers are incredibly comfortable!
These two impress me every single day! #proudfather
they said be careful, we said yolo
They scared the vampire by drawing a face on his mirror
they're all dead, dave.
this "one small step" will make you cry. you won't belive why. #moonselfie
This apple got a face on it dog
This definitely wasn't in the Bible.
This diagram of the solar system is not to scale
This elevator has no 'down'!
this got me banned from chuck e. cheese's
this guy keeps following me
This is a good idea
this is just a tribute #thed
this is literally the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
This is not a camera, it's a washing machine!
This is so awsome! Picture of the year! So glad that I got that new camera!!!!!
This is what i had for breakfast
This is why we can't have good things
This isn't where i parked my zeppelin!
This just in: baby robot duck terrorises populace
This needs a motivational text
This NSA intercept program is really getting out of hand.
This photo was taken from my iphone
this plot is odd.
this was in the bible
this was my inspiration
this will make me a millionaire (patent pending)
those weren't Altoids.
Threaten large birds... check.
Thus Ended Alexander the great's conquest
Time to reap the whirlwind!
To infinity and Birdyond!
Today i am a Chinese clock
Tom was feeling frisky, but i just laughed and took this pic! XD
Too much Acid. Got to sort life out.
too much lens flare?
Top of the world
T-Rex in a snowfield #cretaceous #nofilter #cold
truly, i am euphoric
TRY{throw Baby;}Catch baby{Throwable cause = baby.getCause(); Throw cause;}
trying out apple's new gadget. expensive but it's worth it.
Turkey Drumstick Stonehenge was surprisingly compelling!
turns out building a shrink ray was cheaper than genetically engineering giant carrots
Turns out the tiles at home depot aren't the good kind
Ugh, i'll never understand art.
uM, I THINK SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH MY CARROT...
Unfriendly comet eats latest probe
unicycle beowulf cluster seeks riders
Universe man, Universe man...
Unzipped sock
using hollowed-out carrots to smuggle drugs across the border.
Vaccines cause super autism now unless you're vaccinated against it
van gogh's secret masterpiece uncovered in french family's basement
Wait for it...
Wait, am I 30 years too late for Normandy?
wake up sheeple!
Wanted for murder. If found, contact the police immediately.
Warning, cadbury eggs should be consumed in moderation, even if supplied for free by air
WARRRBLGARBL
Watch out for the squirrely wrath!
watching dune on shrooms
we appear to have exhausted the low-hanging scientific fruit
We are not men. we are devo.
We claim this iceberg for the Motherland
we had to get creative when the bentley didn't show
We have crafted the galaxy's finest pasta bowl
Weird trick to losing belly fat and parts of face
welcome to the space jam
well, so much for the space program
Well, you can't fix what isn't broken.
We've got a problem
Whale Selfie!
what a bummer
What do you mean it wasn't set to radians?
what happens when you take a selfie with a 500mm lens
what if it's a ghost pepper?
What if jellyfish could combine, like voltron?
when you see it...
Where did this road come from?!?
where should i put this cool new tatto?
where to buy spanish ham ?
which end is the head of a chocolate cornet?
whiskers expecting a new friend :)
Who came first?
Who Made all these Don quixote clones?
Who stepped on my pop tart?
Who the fck deleted development branch?!?!
Who the shit left the fertilizer out in the open? Now we have to deal with this!
whoops GPS error
Whoops I left the Lens Cap on for this one. :S
WHO'S THAT POKEMON?
Why are there ants on my face?!
Why do people do this?
Why do we call it "behedding" and not "bebodying"?
Why don't chimpanzees have beards?
Why should squirrel learn baseball
with google iris, see the inside of your eyelids like never before
WOMAN on ground, Abstract, digital, 2015~ $19E6
worst transformers generation ever. bring back gen 1.
would you choose the microwave over this?
Wow, I didn't expect that spell to work. #Sorrydude
Wow. Just, Wow.
wrangled my first ufo! YEEHAAH!!
WTF!?
YES
you cannot lift a mountain, but if the mountain sustens itself just on top OF you, do you lift it ? #think
You must be new here.
YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE! CLICK TO SEE IT AND 10 OTHER FAMOUS MOVIE CHARACTERS YOU NEVER SAW ON SCREEN!
You'll never guess what happens next...

prompttext

The text for when there are multiple images to choose from

1. BEWARE KILLER TREES WITH KILLER BEES INSIDE
2. DARE to #DREAM
3. delfie
4. flavorbomb
5. Long_Exposure
6. me #throwbackthursday
7. saturday #memories #beautiful
???? USA! USA! ????
[USER BANNED FOR THIS TEXT]
>< ))*>
20 Facts that will infuriate hipsters
a graph showing the amount of time i spend outside
about to die lol
Always get a full nights rest
An unsuccessful bike design...
As you can see It's windy out here
brokkolis and sweet potato, nice
Captain obvious strikes again
caught the sunset tonight at midday
clever girl.....
Coco Puffs: Now with your complete daily dose of gamma radiation
Do I look like a penguin?
drivers feel stupid for not knowing this one simple trick
Dryads. that is all.
Dude, where's my car?
EARTH HAS 4 CORNER SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE WITHIN SINGLE ROTATION. 4 CORNER DAYS PROVES 1 DAY 1 GOD IS TAUGHT EVIL.
First post, be friendly
Fnnnaarrrrr!
Freshly waxed floors + new socks
fuck fuck shit shit, what did i do last night?
Guys did you know we can finally make maglev hammocks thanks to eletropermanent magnets
Here we see the last two simple machines; the inclined plane and the rocket board
I can take photos with my teeth!
I don't think this is working
I dream of death
If classy cats evolved from regular cats, why are there still regular cats? checkmate, evolution.
If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it
I'll never see her again... i just... i just don't know how to go on... :(
I'm so lost. My gps told me to go this way, and now it has stopped working entirely
in an ideal vacuum, at what point does this fish realize it's going to die?
in theathers, close to you
Is this real life?
It showed up on the photo, but not irl???
it's fun to do bad things
it's my hand supposed to do this? #thanksobama
kang, do i look good in this?
ksp mission success
Let's go left, they said. The other path looks boring, they said.
Making grape Plasma, om nom nom!
may 4th, 2015 nasa finally launches the long delayed Starbucks module for the iss. The first barista is scheduled for a three month stint
Minister! We're running out of time.
Mmm, Spider cake!
My cat barfed this out
My feet are cold. Can anyone warm them up?
My Hobby: freaking people out
mYTH BUSTED!
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na batcat! batcat! Batcat!
NASA deny budget cuts have changed their plans
no wonder the cat always sits here
No, I've never performed brain surgery before, but how hard can it be?
Nope nope nope nope nope
Not a fruit
now you're hungry too.
OH MY GOD A HORSE
oh, is that godot? Finally...
Okay, I concede that maybe using a trebuchet is not the best shortcut
One of the less popular Transformers.
Our flying car attemps seems to got out of hand
Oy, my giblets!
Park and ride
smiling is for optimists
So turns out 'recycling' is not Riding a bike twice.
Someone will Make this About ObamaCare
sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows...
Sure, they taught a robot to sing, but can they teach it to love?
that awkward moment when you are staring at Barad-dûr for its architectural merits.
that's me!
The birds found the hobbit hole
the day of the fingernail clipping has dawned
The designers of this camera literally nailed it
The ents met the triffids
The HORROR!
The recursive algorithm produces this unique Fractal Image
The solution to all life's problems
The time has come.
The vlog was better than the movie
THis is kinda philosophical if you think about it. If you don't think about it too much.
This is so awsome! Picture of the year! So glad that I got that new camera!!!!!
This is why we can't have good things
To infinity and Birdyond!
Trip to the Rockies #DUCKFACE #NOFILTER #NEVERSTOPEXPLORING
two great tastes that go great together
uM, I THINK SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH MY CARROT...
unicycle beowulf cluster seeks riders
van gogh's secret masterpiece uncovered in french family's basement
Wanted for murder. If found, contact the police immediately.
we appear to have exhausted the low-hanging scientific fruit
why are my eyebrows purple and who stole my hat?!
Why do people do this?
Why do we call it "behedding" and not "bebodying"?
YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE! CLICK TO SEE IT AND 10 OTHER FAMOUS MOVIE CHARACTERS YOU NEVER SAW ON SCREEN!
You'll never guess what happens next...

promptcaptions

The captions to choose from for a single image

"...The Aristocrats."
"Carpe diem!" my grandfather said to me. This is a picture of him when he was younger.
"Innocent X" by Diego Velazquez, c. 1650, oil on canvas
"Is it symmetric this way?"
"Space duckin'" By led blimp
1. ALLLLLLBYMYSELF
2. BEWARE KILLER TREES WITH KILLER BEES INSIDE
3. CATSANDBIRDS
4. caturday
5. delfie
6. duckface
7. flavorbomb
8. lifehacks
9. livefeed #colonoscopy
10. Long_Exposure
11. me #throwbackthursday
12. nofilter
13. nomakeup #justgotup #wow
14. nomakeup #justnatural
15. nomakeup #natural
16. satellite #navigation
17. selfie #imatree #thuglife
18. selfie #nomakeup #nofilter
19. SELFIE #WIN #LIKEABOSS #HASHTAG #YOLO #REPRODUCTION #THATSTHEWAYITISDONE #CTF #COOL #KEEPITREAL #BEQUICKORBEDEAD #SWAGGGG #RACE #ENGLISHDYCTIONARY
20. Toobigtofall
21. vampiremirrorselfie
...Freudian sense tingling...
????????
??????????!
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
“Uh, hey, baby.” “Damn we’re smooth.” “We’re gonna score”
>< ))*>
1 like = 1 little girl feeded to this cancer dying walrus :'(
100 meters in 4 and a half seconds
11 Mario facts that will blow-a your mind
20 Facts that will infuriate hipsters
99% of people are too scared to share this post! share if you are one of the 1%
A boa constrictor that has swallowed a hat
a graph showing the amount of time i spend outside
A job so boring a bird could do it
A soulful rendition of "old man river"
A window into my soul
About time someone brought me that flattened basketball
about to die lol
Alan?
All that fiber finally kicked in, now i conquer #Ukraine#putin#buddies
All things considered, it turned out nice again
Always get a full nights rest
An ant figured out how to make free electricity with this one weird trick! Scientists hate him!
and then there were nine
Angry sofa is angry.
Anyone craving some soup right about now?
Apparently, it's called "BEAR Fishing"
Are you kidding me?
aren't rabbits supposed to jump out??
As the sun set on the day, I thought about all of my failings, and didn't realize it mattered anymore. I was finally free of the day and could start all over again tomorrow without any judgement weighing on me.
As viewed on a Macintosh plus
Astronauts tossed out of ISC called "Nuisance" by commuters
awesome sunrise this morning #lenscap #nofilter #hashtag
AWESOME! This cloud was so much larger than my thumb!
Bacteriophage is worth 6 points
BALDUR's GATE YOU have all been poisoned and have 14 days to give me 2000 gold HA HA HA
Banana invasion in progress
Barraco Barner is our nasion's prezident.
Bay-bae lolz
Beer Pong alone again! #YOLO
Best. Funeral. Ever.
better go inside, I need to polish my shoes
bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip
birdcoin is looking to be a huge success
Birds are less cute the closer they are.
Black as the crows that peck out my eyes
Black box recorder
blob monster attacking our city lol brb avoiding certain slimy doom lol
Cakephants are my new friends
Can anybody help me identify this animal?
Cat in a hat or fox in a box?
cest ne pas un pipe
Check out my new cat! Sooooo cute!
check out my usb sword!
Click this text and you will find the love of your life within the next 20 minutes! If you don't, your mother will die a horrible death!!!
Close the pod bay door, Hal.
Copernicus: The early years
CORNFLAKES AGAIN!?!?!??!?!??!
cthulu caught me slipping
cthulu wants what cthulu wants
damned ninjas
Dang! Inflated tires with Helium again!
day 3: the turnip still refuses to break up on re-entry
Death star model 0.0.73
Dey see us Rollin'. Dey Hatin'.
Dinosaur extinction: The final Phase
Dividing by zero prematurely ended his research career.
Do I look like a penguin?
Do my feet look fat?
Do my feet smell?
Do you feline lucky, punk?
Do you have a lighter?
Doesn't like being referred to as garfield
Don't get the lava wet! you'll ruin everything!
Don't send bees, send lions! and send them to france!
doors from ikea: the pinnacle of excellency
drive like an ass, be slapped like an ass!
drivers feel stupid for not knowing this one simple trick
Duck Duck Go's secret algorithm
DX(X^LN(Y!)/xy*pi=screw you
emergency butter delivery
ESA probe enters black hole - first photos!
Every day my damn cat makes this face
everything makes sense now
Existance is an illusion
father & daughter re-unite!
Fear the day we Mole People breach the surface of the Earth like Mewling Babes, FOR THAT WILL BE YOUR LAST! #Ihatethesun #goditsbright #isthisworthit?
filming the sky was boring. Turns out my foot is more boring...
finally got that squid stache
Fire can sometimes be hot?
First found evidence for Einstein–Rosen bridges.
First post, be friendly
First screenshot of portal 3 !!
flying car - it is now officially the future
Fnnnaarrrrr!
For sale: planet, barely used. slight pest problem
Foreign clouds take british clouds' jobs
forgot to turn the oven off!
Freshly waxed floors + new socks
FRom the creators of AIR BUD, presenting air chip, the Soccer squirrel. watch your Nuts! Summer 2016
fuck fuck shit shit, what did i do last night?
George was a good little monkey, and always very curious.
goddamnit, that's the fourth time this week!
Goldilocks party!
google bots have uncovered some missing bits
Got a hip mustache! What do y'all think?
GPS Signal lost.. damn it!
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT"S ALL GONE TO SHIT
Great, now I forgot where I left the car.
Guys did you know we can finally make maglev hammocks thanks to eletropermanent magnets
GUYS HELP IS THIS SWINE FLU?
haha oh my cat
He did say it was edible
He had to learn the hard way: if i clean a window, it will definitely be clean
He nailed it!
hello darkness my old friend
Help the police catch this violent criminal before he strikes again.
help wanted. inquire within.
Here we see the last two simple machines; the inclined plane and the rocket board
Hey, it's windows 7 again!
hey, so, we need to talk about your sphere-packing problem.
HODOR!
Homo helicopteris captured in bali
horses can't use chalk. stupid horse.
Hoverboard to full power!
How did I get here?!?
how do i turn this off?
how do you get the screensaver off?
hungry hungry fencing subcontractors
I think I need new glasses.
i am never going to the beauty school for my manicure again
I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.
I blame supernasa
I bought you a RING... ooh shinything!
I can walk on my hands
I can't even. But I am taking evening classes.
I certainly wasn't going to bury this one
I CHOOSE YOU!
I don't know
i don't remember this scene form star wars
I don't think this is working
I dream of death
I EXPECT YOU TO SAY 'OW OW OW,' MR. BOND
I found this in my navel, should I be worried?
I guess I only have myself to blame.
i hate it when this happens
I havE A SLIGHT MELTING MOTHER-IN-LAW ISSUE
I just can't see the point anymore
I knew it would be a bad idea to go during the mating season
I knew there would be side effects
I 'M out of the acorn
i need to do my laundry more often.
I say: nuts to that!
I should really separate those
I solved the debt crisis!
I think I can... I think I can
I think I've figured out how to setup PostgreSQL
I think my houseplant is doing pretty good #greenthumb
I think there's something here
I thought of it, and it happened
I told you I would make it. I'm just a little late...
I told you to keep the raptors secure
i want to ride my bicykle (i found it in pripjat)
I was cleaning jello off the floor for *AGES*
I wouldn't eat that if I were you.
If classy cats evolved from regular cats, why are there still regular cats? checkmate, evolution.
if dreams can't come true, then why not pretend?
If it quacks like a duck... in spaaace!!!
if you gaze long enough into the oscilloscope, the oscilloscope gazes back at you, longingly.
I'll just go buy cigarettes
I'll miss the sparrow with my sparrow missile
I'll show you a forbidden electronic transition!
I'm a Real Boy!
I'm not saying it was aliens but it was aliens
I'm so lost. My gps told me to go this way, and now it has stopped working entirely
im sure there is a dad joke in this somewhere
in an ideal vacuum, at what point does this fish realize it's going to die?
In that moment, the reddit realized he'd never wanted it to be this way. He'd never wanted any of it.
Interior Crocodile alligator, I drive a Chevrolet movie theater
Is it canibalism if i eat my own nose?
Is this real life?
Is this room 101?
It isn't safe on earth any more. Goodbye!
It showed up on the photo, but not irl???
it was never this complicated when I was a kid
It was then that the ugly duckling realized that beauty was an arbitrarily-defined cultural construct, and that true beauty came from within.
It's a timey-wimey time-lord
it's my hand supposed to do this? #thanksobama
It's only what I've been looking for for my entire life!
I've been robbed!
I've found a new way to feed the poor
I've got a tombstone disposition and a graveyard mind.
I've made a huge mistake
I've never been so aware of my own hunger
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams
Journey warned you what would happen if you stopped believing.
Jugghead got nothing on me :p
Just another day in paradise
just found this in my garden. Should i be worried?
just two more trips over the horizon
Kite powered bike leaves oil executives speachless.
ksp mission success
Larry asked me to be his wingman
Last time i buy a budget hairdryer
like my new haircut?
Like my new nails?
lol, no i didn't jump
look at me, i'm from England!
Look at that fart propulsion
Look guys! I'm Vincent Van Gogh!
Look out!
love it!
Made in god's own image, yessiree!
Magnificent as fuck
Magnified 10,000 times
Man in the Moon slumming
Man with face of clock discovered in Beatty, Nevada; Scientists befuddled
Man, it's windy
Manchester United had made a terrible mistake with their new striker...
Mari-OH
marvel universe howard the duck returns
Maths are hard
Maybe "Sandworm Petting Zoo" was a bad idea.
Me, before the topical ointment
Medieval theme on the internal company conference. My Logo proposal. Comments?
Mentos and lava
Meritocracy is a pipe dream
Minister! We're running out of time.
moo!
Moses lied to me.
Muahahahahahah
My baby is learning how to write!
my cat is sick
My collections still growing! Just let's hope it won't rain soon
My elephant is disgruntled with your food service
my friend posing while a plane flies by
MY GIRL'S SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT WAS A BLAST!
My hero
My Hobby: freaking people out
My hobby: pretending blank posts have content.
My new cat is awesome
my new duvet cover!
My new tattoo
my new toaster has some strange attachments
mYTH BUSTED!
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na batcat! batcat! Batcat!
Need a Haircut
Never gonna give you up...
Never will follow the instructions on google maps again.
New car flipping world record set
New means to help collect more evidence
New pet! #soadorable #imbleeding
new phone who dis
New tat turned out pretty good. Kinda weird having a guy stare at my ass for that long but whatev, it's worth it. DASHIE 4 LYFE.
night sledding deserves a quiet night
No guitar without a sombrero
no one ever suspected the shovel
No wants to hear me talk about my cat
No, I've never performed brain surgery before, but how hard can it be?
nobody knows the trouble i've seen
Not a fruit
Not Again :(
Nothing new under the sun
Notice anything different?
Now we're ready to attach the spiders. Remember, be gentle.
now you're hungry too.
oh damn! it's that time of the year again!
Oh god is it still following me?
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Oh God! It's happening again!
oh god!! the youtube views were not worth it!! they weren't woooorth iiiiit
oh no you didn't
Oh no, I'm not equipped to ride a digital wave of this size!
Oh no, it's the moon
omfg, space bugs
On a scale of one to ten, I fucked up.
Only managed to clock 87 miles Per hour. Crap.
oompa loompa diggeti doo
Our flying car attemps seems to got out of hand
Our son has no arms but has a duck's beak.
Oy, my giblets!
parallel universe, here i come! #sweet!
Park and ride
passed another hitch hiker
Perspective issues
Philae lander found!
photobombed by a bird trying to take a picture of a bird
Picasso's illegitimate child...
Please send help.
Plotting the Extrapolation of a Quasi-Exponential Function On Non-Orthogonal Cartesionoid Axes
Pretty sure jimmers will love this new door.
Probably a universal turing machine, but too lazy to solve proof
product testing has confirmed our suspicions...
PROOF THE MOON LANDING WAS A HOAX!!11!1!11!one
prototype soccer ball
racing stripes on hoodies are cool.
RARE BLACK BUNNY WHOSE ONLY NUTRIENT IS COMPLETELY BLACK SALAD
really not how I thought I would die
Removed microwave door, new easier to watch the food cook
research shows residues of legs and feet in trees dna
reverse et
Robert'); Drop Table students;--
run little ghost, run!
sad cow is sad
Said the duchess to the vicar.
sarlac ball-pit!!!
Saw this in a safari park, the rangers wouldn't help it
Saw this on the TV. I didn't turn it on. It was just there. The TV is unplugged and it's still there. Should I call a repairman?
Scientists create first man-clock hybrid
SEINFELD in SPAAAAAACE!
share this so xkcd cannot sell our data to the reptilians
She's got interesting taste in men.
should i see a doctor about this?
smiling is for optimists
So turns out 'recycling' is not Riding a bike twice.
So, it has come to this...
So...Magnets, right?
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS POWER OUTLET CALL AN ELEXORCISTRICIAN
Sometimes I just want to be in the moment.
Sonogram of our baby! Adorable, Don't you think!? Looks JUST like daddy!
stay away from my eggcorns
Stay in the moment. I want you to fully enjoy it.
Steve is realxing
Still a better love story than "Last Tango in Paris."
stipple slash of saturn
Strange ingredients for a grilled cheese sandwich, but the recipe did say 'epic'...
such bike. so sustainable! very carbon-negative.
sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows...
super high intensity training at NORAD
SUPPOrt this new alarm clock on kickergogo!
tail recursion spotted in the wild!!
take two, they are small
terminal velocity is a myth
Testing my new DIY nuclear power plant
thank you for restoring my faith in the justice system
Thanks Obama!
That is one dapper bird.
That is, in fact, a squirrel.
That's gonna hurt on the way out
that's me!
THAT'S NO MOON
That's not a nut!
That's too much, man!
The basis for fast and furious 13.
The birds found the hobbit hole
The building blocks of life
The Captain Crunch Kraken
The cat brought in another bird.
the charge of the light brigade
The choice is simple.
the dark side of the moon, amirite?
The Dissolution of Parliament.
the event horizon returned
the floor is made of lava. send help.
The French space program
The HORROR!
The knids are hungry
The moon landing was a lie
The Moon Will Eat What it will
The Prodigy is in town!
The real reason for hillary's sudden data loss
The recursive algorithm produces this unique Fractal Image
the rest is darkness and decay
the saddest moment of my childhood
The solution to all life's problems
The spirit is strong, but the car is totaled.
The tea party was right about GMO bicycles
The top half of his face looked exactly like this, officer
The tyndall effect testing on the invisible man results (fig 5.)
their love was doomed from the start...
Their vengeance was swift, but surprisingly subtle...
There goes the neighborhood...
There's a 66% chance that the other door won't be broken.
There's a third bump, growing fast
These aren't my sandwiches
These cravings will never stop
These hoof warmers are incredibly comfortable!
These two impress me every single day! #proudfather
this "one small step" will make you cry. you won't belive why. #moonselfie
This apple got a face on it dog
This definitely wasn't in the Bible.
This diagram of the solar system is not to scale
this guy keeps following me
This is a cat
this is just a tribute #thed
this is literally the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
This is not a camera, it's a washing machine!
This is so awsome! Picture of the year! So glad that I got that new camera!!!!!
This is the story of a boy. who sneezed a hurricane and disintegrated the whole world.
This Military Dictator Thought He knew Everything...And then He Learned these 3 tips for losing weight!
This NSA intercept program is really getting out of hand.
this one's over 15 kt bitches!
those weren't Altoids.
Threaten large birds... check.
Today i am a Chinese clock
today's to do list
Top of the world
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF MY RETINA.
Trebuchet-launched into a skyscraper...
T-Rex in a snowfield #cretaceous #nofilter #cold
Trip to the Rockies #DUCKFACE #NOFILTER #NEVERSTOPEXPLORING
truly, i am euphoric
Turkey Drumstick Stonehenge was surprisingly compelling!
uM, I THINK SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH MY CARROT...
unicycle beowulf cluster seeks riders
Universe man, Universe man...
Unzipped sock
Wait for it...
wake up sheeple!
Wake up sheeple!! the rich are stockpiling candles. This is our future!!!!
Wanted for murder. If found, contact the police immediately.
WARRRBLGARBL
watching dune on shrooms
we appear to have exhausted the low-hanging scientific fruit
We can't do it, the moon is in the way
we had to get creative when the bentley didn't show
We live in a golden age!
Weird trick to losing belly fat and parts of face
Welcome to carrot facts. Did you know Carrots can improve your vision?
Well, I guess than answers the age-old question!
Well, now this is a thing.
well, so much for the space program
What could possibly go wrong™?
What do you mean it wasn't set to radians?
what to have for breakfast?
when you see it...
where to buy spanish ham ?
Who Made all these Don quixote clones?
Who the shit left the fertilizer out in the open? Now we have to deal with this!
Whoops I left the Lens Cap on for this one. :S
why are my eyebrows purple and who stole my hat?!
Why do people do this?
Why do we call it "behedding" and not "bebodying"?
Why does a tree cross the road? To destroy mankind, obviously.
Why don't chimpanzees have beards?
worst horse ever :(
would you choose the microwave over this?
Wow, I didn't expect that spell to work. #Sorrydude
Wow. Just, Wow.
wrangled my first ufo! YEEHAAH!!
Yes, I followed the instructions!
You must be new here.
YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE! CLICK TO SEE IT AND 10 OTHER FAMOUS MOVIE CHARACTERS YOU NEVER SAW ON SCREEN!
You'll never guess what happens next...
Zeus takes his revenge
Zoidgebra 101

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