Editing 1037: Umwelt

{{comic
| number    = 1037
| date      = April 1, 2012
| title     = Umwelt
| image     = umwelt_the_void.jpg
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.
}}
==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|Many of the strips are not explained}}
An {{w|umwelt|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that ones entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this {{w|April Fools}} comic changes based on the browser, location, or referrer. Thus, what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live, or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day (although only one is seen).

*Reddit user [http://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations. Much of his information is now included in this wiki.

Information about how the wide variety of data was collected and credit for the viewers who contributed can be found [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/rnst4/april_fools_xkcd_changing_comic/ here].


===The Void===

[[File:umwelt_the_void.jpg]]

If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

Possible reference to The Ring (imgur.com/wlGmm), as though to suggest that using an alternative browser is dismal and horrific.   

Davean (xkcd's sysadmin): "[This] comic isn't available everywhere and it can come up i[n] some situation[s] only for recognized browsers."

Browser: Alternative Browser

===Aurora===

[[File:umwelt_aurora.png]]

The joke here is either that Canadians, where the comic was shown, would regard the {{w|Aurora (astronomy)|Aurora Borealis}} as normal and thus, would not've seen the sight as particularly amazing, or that XKCD characters see in black and white and would not notice the colors.
Alternately, one could interpret that since Megan didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the Aurora, the main character lied. That way, she wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Locations: Canada, Boston, Maine, New York, Ohio, Oregon

===Snake===

[[File:umwelt_snake_composite.png]]

The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest snake is the python, the longest ever being 33 feet or approx. 10 meters. The red and blue circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Specific AltText for this image: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit --from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your browser window size.

Location: unknown

===Black Hat===

[[File:umwelt_tortoise.png]]

An analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. The joke here is that the turtle has actually been turned over and neither sees helping it as a priority.
It's a reference to the Voight-Kampff test used in the movie Blade Runner (1982) to identify replicants.

Location: Seems to appear mostly in "other countries" - those without location-specific comics.

===Too Quiet===

[[File:umwelt_too_quiet.png]]

A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

Location: unknown

===Pond===

[[File:umwelt_pond_mobile.png]][[File:umwelt_pond_wide.png]]

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Location: unknown

===Galaxies===

[[File:umwelt_galaxies.jpg]]

Megan is distracted from her conversation with [[Cueball]] by realizing that the space behind his head, from her vantage point, contains millions of galaxies. This is similar to an [http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/image/astro/hst_deep_field.jpg incredible photograph] taken by the Hubble Telescope, in which a tiny dark area of space in fact contained numerous galaxies.

The title text is a imaginative leap from this scenario: that the galaxies would be up to no good once Cueball is turned away from them.

This comic was only reported once... the intended environmental context is a mystery.

Location: unknown

===xkcd Gold===

[[File:umwelt_xkcd_gold.png]]

This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

Referrer: 4chan

===Yo Mama===

[[File:umwelt_dog_ballast.png]]

Possible reference to Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s "Harrison Bergeron"[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Bergeron]]

Possibly a veiled criticism of Facebook. This could be slightly rewritten as: "This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid of dissent, so it tracks everyone at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop submitting information to Facebook. But that dystopian future is now."

Referrer: Facebook

===Reddit===

[[File:umwelt_reddit.png]]

Reference to referencing, because Reddit, as a referring site, likes references to its referencing in its references.

This comic also features recursive imagery similar to [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/688:_Self-Description Self Description] where the second panel embeds the entire comic within itself.

Referrer: Reddit

===Buns and Hot dogs===

[[File:umwelt_somethingawful.jpg]]

This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?"

Referrer: SomethingAwful, Questionable Content, & MetaFilter

===Twitter===

[[File:umwelt_twitter.jpg]]

Referrer: Twitter

===Wikipedia===

[[File:umwelt_wikipedia_wide.jpg]]
[[File:umwelt_wikipedia_mobile.png]]

The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Referrer: Wikipedia

===Google Chrome===

[[File:umwelt_chrome1.jpg]]

{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

Browser: Chrome

===Chrome/Firefox===

[[File:umwelt_chrome2.png]]

Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X, and Linux, with a mobile version for Android, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} the fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser

Browser: Chrome

===Google Chrome-2===

[[File:umwelt_chrome3.png]]

This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece

Browser: Chrome

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===

[[File:umwelt_firefox_incognito.png]]

Another reference to crashing web browsers

Browser: Firefox (Incognito only?)

===Internet Explorer===

[[File:umwelt_ie.png]]

Yet another reference to crashing web browsers

Browser: Internet Explorer

===Maxthon===

[[File:umwelt_maxthon.png]]

Browser: Maxthon

===Netscape Navigator===

[[File:umwelt_netscape_womanoctopus.png]]

[[File:umwelt_netscape_man.png]]

Browser: Netscape

===Rockmelt===

[[File:umwelt_rockmelt.png]]

Rockmelt is a social-media-based browser [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockmelt]

Reference to "There's no hiding place down here" by The Carter Family, later covered by Stephen Stills [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longing_for_Old_Virginia:_Their_Complete_Victor_Recordings_%281934%29]

I run to the rock just to hide my face

And the rocks cried out, no hiding place

There's no hiding place down here

Browser: Rockmelt

===Plugin Disabled===

[[File:umwelt_plugin_disabled.png]]

Browser: Plugin (?) Disabled

===Corporate Networks===

[[File:umwelt_corporate_general.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_amazon_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_amazon_firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_amazon_other.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_google_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_microsoft_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_microsoft_firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_microsoft_other.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_nytimes_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_nytimes_other.png]]

ISP: Corporate networks of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, NY Times


===Military===

[[File:umwelt_military.png]]

ISP: Military networks

===T-Mobile===

[[File:umwelt_tmobile.png]]

Reference to T-Mobile's distinguishing feature of weaker coverage, in relation to other major providers.

ISP: T-Mobile

===Verizon and AT&T===

[[File:umwelt_verizon.png]]

[[File:umwelt_att.png]]

Reference to Verizon and AT&T's scandals/controversy regarding implementation of bandwidth caps.

ISP: Verizon and AT&T

===France===

[[File:umwelt_france.jpg]]

A Google search of "French Military Victories" + 'I'm feeling lucky' used to direct to "did you mean French Military Failures?" (a Google 'easter egg'), referencing a stereotype of the French:

[http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm]

[http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm]

Locations: France & Quebec

===Germany===

[[File:umwelt_germany.png]]

This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force.

Location: Germany

===Israel===

[[File:umwelt_israel.png]]

(Translation from Hebrew)

Person: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ... Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

A reference to the multiple use of the word Jewish to denote both a religious group and a nationality.

Location: Israel

===Carnot Cycle===

[[File:umwelt_japan.png]]

A pun on "cycle"; a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnot_cycle "Carnot Cycle"] is a thermodynamic cycle (e.g. refrigeration). Its efficiency depends on the temperature of the hot and cold 'reservoirs' in which it is operating.

Location: Japan

===UK===

[[File:umwelt_uk.jpg]]

He worded this as though to imply that the UK is a state of the U.S., and an unimportant one at that, which pokes fun at the UK, creating a paradox (sort of).

Location: UK

===Blizzard===

[[File:umwelt_disasters_blizzard.png]]

For each location this displayed in, the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Georgia, Halifax, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, the Northeast, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Texas, Toronto, Tennessee, New York, Wisconsin

===Tornado===

[[File:umwelt_disasters_tornado.png]]

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Dallas, Illinois, The Midwest, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Tennessee, Texas

===Hurricane===

[[File:umwelt_disasters_hurricane.png]]

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: D.C, Florida, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virgina

===Lake Diver Killer===

[[File:umwelt_lake_diver.png]]

Locations: Bay Areas

Location: Vermont showed an image specifically referencing Lake Champlain

===Lincoln Memorial===

[[File:umwelt_lincoln_memorial.png]]

Locations: Illinois & Washington D.C.

===Helicoptor Hunting===

[[File:umwelt_helicoptor.png]]

In Alaska, governments and individuals have shot wolves en masse from helicopters[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_hunting#North_America_2] in an attempt to artificially inflate populations of game, such as moose and caribou, to make hunting them easier. This is opposed by many, as the game populations are not endangered (thus, this threatens ecological balance); wolves are a small threat to livestock in North America; most of the wolf body - including meat and bones - goes wasted (sought mainly for their pelts); and this consumes extra resources such as fuel.

Location: Alaska

===Newspaper===

[[File:umwelt_life_scientists.png]][[File:umwelt_life_rit.png]][[File:umwelt_life_umass.png]]

Creating new life has long been a well understood process, in a lab or otherwise.

Location: Various

Specific versions appeared for RIT and UMass Amherst

===Robot Paul Revere===

[[File:umwelt_paul_revere.png]]

Combination of the legend of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Revere#.22Midnight_Ride.22 Paul Revere] and computer binary.

Location: Boston

===Counting Cards===

All four colleges in this series are in Massachusetts and, being similar, in pairs, rival each other to some extent (Harvard-MIT, and Smith-Wellesley).   Possible reference to Orwell's book '1984' (and/or popular homage to it via Star Trek: "There are four lights") [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chain_of_Command_%28Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation%29][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChYIm6MW39k]   

Bonus: The thought-gears in panel 3 are spinning against each other.

Location: Harvard

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_harvard.png]]

Location: MIT

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_mit.png]]

"Course 15s" at MIT are the business major students, often mocked for taking a less-rigorous program.

Location: Smith

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_smith.png]]

It looks like he forgot to draw the hair in the last three panels. (Smith is an all-girls college.)

Location: Wellesley

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_wellesley.png]]

(Wellesley is an all-girls college.)

===Giant Box Trap===

[[File:umwelt_box_trap.png]]

Randall got his undergrad in Physics at CMU, and was scheduled to return shortly to give a talk.

Location: Christopher Newport University

===Chemo Support===

[[File:umwelt_chemo.jpg]]

Randall's now-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and apparently DFCI is where they've been spending much of their time.

Location: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

==Transcript==

{Note to courageous readers- The transcript has been reordered in the order in which the comics appear in the picture and appropriate names have been given}


[Two people...] ((..wait.. <scrolls through a listing of everything> oh goddammit Randall. Thanks a bunch, dude. I better get a raise for typing out all this))

===The Void===
[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

===Aurora===
[Person heading out past another person comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]

Person 1: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?

Person 2: Hockey's on.

Person 1: Ok. Later.

[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

Person 2: See anything?

Person 1: No, just clouds.

Person 2: Not surprised.

===Snake===
[Two people standing next to each other. One is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which  has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

Person holding snake head: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

===Black hat===
[Two people sitting at a desk. One is Black Hat Guy. The other is an analyst. Black Hat Guy has a number of terminals attached to his head.]

Analyst: You come across a tortoise in the desert. You flip it over. It struggles to right itself. You watch. You're not helping. Why is that? 

Black Hat Guy: It *knows* what it did.

[View of the entire scene, with said turtle off in the distance on its back and trying to right itself.]

===Too quiet===
[A group of four scale down a wall into a field in the middle of the night. They walk off single-file.]

Person 1: It's quiet.

Person 3: Yeah - *Too* quiet.

[A Velociraptor is off in the distance, following the group.]

Person 4: Yeah - too *too* quiet.

Person 2: Yeah - 2quiet2furious.

Person 1: Fuck off, Steve.

===Pond===
[A landscape showing a pond, some reeds, and a set of mountains off in the distance.]

===Galaxies===
[A trio of galaxies.]

Galaxy 1: He's not looking!

Galaxy 3: Let's get him!

[Lines draw in illustrating the eye-line of one of a pair of people.]

Person 1: So he said he didn't get the text, but c'mon, he *never* misses texts. Right? ..hello?

Person 2: I'm just staring at your head freaked out by the fact that there are millions of galaxies *directly behind it*.

===xkcd Gold/Beehive part 1===

[Person holding bat.]

Person: Sorry, but this comic

[Person starts to wind up.]

requires

[Person prepares to strike with bat.]

XKCD

[Person swings at a beehive.]

GOLD

===Beehive part 2===
[Penis Bees fly out of the beehive.]

===Yo mamma===
[Person yells at another person.]

Person 1;Oh yeah? Well you mama's so *cynical*, her only dog ballast is a *leash*!

(This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid dogs can hover, so it requires them to wear weights at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop buying dog weights)

===Reddit===
Five seconds ago:

[You sitting in front of a desk, reading a reddit thread]

You: Oh, hey, reddit has a link to some XKCD april fools comic.

Now: [An image of this very page]

Five seconds from now:

You: ..hey

30 seconds from now:

[DANCE PARTY!]

===Buns and Hot dogs===

Person: What I wanna know is why do hot dogs come in packages of six while buns come in these huge sacks of ash and blood from which "Ave Maria" is faintly audible?

[Chanting sacks of gore in the background.]

===Twitter===
[A Twitter account page with the following: Many tweets, fewer following, even fewer followers, A bunch of assholes in the suggested follow box, trending topics partitioned into: Word Games, Misogyny, and Bieber, stuff your eyes automatically ignore, A really pleasant blue. and the timeline: Something about a podcast, Someone confused because the description doesn't match the link, The link you clicked on to get to this comic, Rob Delaney, Passive Aggression, and horse_ebooks.]

===Wikipedia===
[There's no comic here because instead of drawing one, I spent the last hour reading every news story cited in the Wikipedia article on "The Mile High Club"]

===Google Chrome===
[A Chrome plugin error page]

Chrome: This plugin requires Sergey Brin's permission to run. Please wait while he is woken.

===Chrome/Firefox===
[Two people; one is sitting at a desk in front of a laptop.]

Person 1: Man, chrome's hardware acceleration really sucks.

Person 2: Oh - Theres' a great add-on that fixes it.

Person 1: Oh? What's it called?

Person 2: "Firefox".

===Google Chrome-2===
[A Chrome plugin error page with the characteristic jigsaw piece.]

Chrome: Chrome is looking for this piece. Have you seen it? Chrome thinks it links up with a corner.

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[Firefox error page.]

Firefox: Well, this is embarrassing. You know how I'm not supposed to peek at your browsing in private mode? Firefox.. is sorry. Firefox will not blame you if you

[button with text]

click here to report this incident.

===Internet Explorer===
[IE error page]

IE: Error: Internet Explorer has given up.

===Maxthon===
Person: Maxthon? Hey, 2005 called. Didn't say anything. All I could hear was sobbing. This is getting harder. Anyway, yeah, Maxthon's still cool! Didn't know it was still around!

===Netscape Navigator===
[Person with tentacle arms.]

Person: Netscape Navigator? Hey, the nineties called - drunk as usual. I hung up without saying anything. This is getting harder. Anyway - it's cool that you'e got netscape running.

===Rockmelt===
[Person running to laptop.]

I ran to Rockmelt to hide my face

[Person sitting at laptop.]

But Rockmelt cried out -

[Laptop shouting]

NO HIDING PLACE

[zoom out]

NO HIDING PLACE DOWN HERE

===Google Chrome-3===
[A chrome plugin error page.]

Chrome: There does not exist --nor could there *ever* exist-- a plugin capable of displaying this content.

===Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google - Chrome===
[Chrome error page.]

Chrome: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run.  Remember, Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google is a team; individual employees should *never* speak for the company without authorization.

===Military===
[Person looking at two browser windows.]

I know y'all know what you're doing. But if you're on a military machine and you're supposed to be watching for missiles or something, I hope you're keeping an eye on that in the background while you're reading comics. Also: Thanks.

===T-Mobile===
[Error page]

Data Error: T-Mobile was unable to establish a connection

===Verizon===
[Error page]

Error; You have exceeded your Verizon monthly bandwidth cap. Mobile web browsing has been disabled.

===France===
[Two people; one of which is browsing using a laptop.]

Person 1: Hey, you're French, right? Ever see what happens when you type "French Military Victories" into Google?

French person: Does it take you to an article on Napoleon?

French person: ..no? Strange, given how he kicked everyone's asses up and down europe for over a decade.

[beat]

Person 1: Touche.

French person: You know, that'd sound smarter if you didn't pronounce it like it rhymes with "douche".

===Germany===
[A person dropping food from an unorthodox high perch.]

June 1948: In response to the Soviet blockade of East Germany, the western allies construct the Berlin Chairlift.

Person on chairlift: Food!

===Israel===
[Person on phone]

(Translation from Hebrew)

Person: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ... Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

===Carnot Cycle===
[Person on a motorcycle with a heat-entropy graph on the side.]

Person 1: Check out my new Carnot Cycle!

Person 2: Neat -- how fast does it go?

Person 1: Depends how cold it is outside.

===Great Britain===
[Illustration of the atlantic ocean.]

American person: Sorry I don't have a comic poking fun at the UK here. I only had time to get to the most *important* US states.

British person: Hey -- At least we have free health care and real ale.

===Earthquake-Blizzard===
[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]

Person 1: Stop jiggling your leg.

Person 2: I'm not ji-.. oh!

Person 1: What!

Person 2: You'll get it..

[EVERYTHING RUMBLES]

Person 1: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!

Person 2: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

Person 1: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Boston", "Chicago", "Dallas", "Georgia", "Halifax", "Illinois", "Michigan", "Minnesota", "Missouri", "the Northeast", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", 'Pennsylvania", "Philadelphia", "Texas", "Toronto", "Tennessee", "New York", "Wisconsin"}! That was huge!

Person 2: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.

Person 1: Oh *really*...  Six Months Later..

[Both people are trudging through a massive blizzard.]

Person 2: In pictures, snow always looked so nice and sof -- AAAA! MY NECK! How do people live here?!

Person 1: Come on - it's only three more miles.

===Earthquake-Tornado===
[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]

Person 1: Stop jiggling your leg.

Person 2: I'm not ji-.. oh!

Person 1: What! Person 2: You'll get it..

[EVERYTHING RUMBLES]

Person 1: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!

Person 2: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

Person 1: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Dallas", "Illinois", "The Midwest", "Missouri", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", "Tennessee", "Texas"}!

That was huge!

Person 2: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.

Person 1: Oh *really*...

Six Months Later..

[Both people are in a shelter in a prairie with a rapidly-approaching tornado.]

Person 2: AAAA CLOSE THE SHELTER DOOR!

Person 1: Say the magic words...

Person 2: THIS PLACE IS THE WORST!

Person 1: Thank you.

===Lake Diver Killer===
[TV Field Reporter in front of a cordoned-off lake.]

Police divers searching the bay say they have recovered thebody of another victim of the "Lake Diver Killer" During the search, three more divers were reported missing.

===Washington===
[The statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial.]

In this Marble Prison As in the nightmares of the nation they tried to devour The nanobots that constituted Abraham Lincoln Are entombed forever.

===Alaska===
[A snowy Alaskan field.]

Person: Some people hunt wolves from helicopters. I hunt helicopters from a wolf.

===Life in lab===
[Newspaper headline.]

Scientists/UMass Amherst students/RIT students create life in lab

[caption under picture of scientists.]

"The trick was fuckin'"

===American Revolution===
Robot Paul Revere: Remember: Zero if by land, One if by sea.

===MIT===
[Two people in front of a group of students.]

Person 1: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.

Person 2: We'll be rich!

[Person 2 deals some cards while the students watch.]

[The gears turn..]

Student: Five. There are five cards.

Person 1: I see their admission standards have been slipping.

Person 2: Yeah - there are actually four.

===MIT Course 15c===
[Two people in front of a group of students.]

Person 1: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.

Person 2: We'll be rich!

[Person 2 deals some cards while the students watch.]

[The gears turn..]

Student: Five. There are five cards.

Person 1: I *knew* we shouldn't have picked course 15s.

Person 2: Yeah - there are actually four.

===Smith/Wellesley===
[Two people in front of a group of students.]

Person 1: I've hired a team of Smith/Wellesley students to count cards for us.

Person 2: We'll be rich!

[Person 2 deals some cards while the students watch.]

[The gears turn..]

Student: Five. There are five cards.

Person 1: We should've gone with Wellesley/Smith.

Person 2: Yeah - there are actually four.

===CNU===
[Person unsuspectingly strolls under a giant box trap controlled by a Trible.]

I worry that CNU only invited me back as a ruse because they realized I never turned in my final paper and want my diploma back. But if it turns out it's for real, I'll see you Wednesday at the Ferguson!

===Dana Farber===
[Cueball, pointing towards head.]

Cueball: Check it out - In support of people going through chemo, i shaved my head.

Lots of love to everyone reading this at Dana Farber. Cancer sucks. If you are new to DCFI, there's a great little garden on the third floor of the yawkey if you need somewhere quiet to just sit for a little bit and breathe.

===Earthquake-Hurricane===
[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]

Person 1: Stop jiggling your leg.

Person 2: I'm not ji-.. oh!

Person 1: What! Person 2: You'll get it..

[EVERYTHING RUMBLES]

Person 1: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!

Person 2: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

Person 1: But this is {Options: "D.C", "Florida", "Houston", "Miami", "New Jersey", "North Carolina", "South Carolina", "Virgina"}! That was huge!

Person 2: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.

Person 1: Oh *really*...

Six Months Later..

[Both are in the middle of a hurricane. Person 2 is grabbing onto a signpost to avoid being swept away.]

Person 2: AAAAA WHAT THE SHIIIIT!

Person 1: Calm down - this is barely a category 2.

===Corporate===
[Error page]

Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run.  Remember, we work as a team; individual employees should *never* speak for the company without authorization.

===Microsoft/Amazon - Firefox===
[Firefox error page]

Chrome: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run.  Remember, Microsoft/Amazon is a team; individual employees should *never* speak for the company without authorization.

===Microsoft/The Times===
[Error page]

Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run.  Remember, Microsoft/The Times is a team; individual employees should *never* speak for the company without authorization.

===Aurora-US===
[Person heading out past another person comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]

Person 1: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada.  CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
Person 2: It's cold out.
Person 1: Ok. Later.

[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

Person 2: See anything?

Person 1: No, just clouds.

Person 2: Not surprised.

{{comic discussion}}
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