Editing 1512: Horoscopes

| titletext = If you live in the Northern hemisphere. In the southern hemisphere, due to the coriolis effect, babies are born nine months BEFORE they're conceived.

{{w|Horoscopes}} purport to predict someone's personality or future, based on the position of planets and stars at the time of their birth and at present. Horoscopes commonly group people into twelve groups based on {{w|zodiac signs}}. The names of the horoscope Zodiac signs are based on the names of twelve constellations that were the backdrop for the path of the sun in the ancient times when the rules of settings horoscopes were originally developed. Today, due to precession of the Earth's axis of rotation (and to a lesser degree due to the modern formal definitions of constellations), the Zodiac signs do not correspond fully to the names of actual constellations in the path of the Sun. One's zodiac sign is determined by the position of the sun on their birthday, with each sign representing a specific 30.4 day period (1/12th of a year), starting from the {{w|equinox|First point of Aries}}.

Modern science has found {{w|Astrology and science|no basis for horoscopes}}. As with many unscientific claims and mythologies, [[Randall]] doesn't seem to care for the beliefs, and has more fun gently mocking them. The joke of this strip is that the only thing you can calculate from your astrological sign is the period of the year during which you were {{w|Fertilisation|conceived}}. The average human is born 38 weeks after conception. There's enough variation in the length of pregnancies that this can vary by as much as several months, but for the majority of people, the date of their conception can be calculated from their birthday, within a week or two.

This can be a slightly uncomfortable topic, because most humans were conceived by their parents having sexual intercourse, which is a topic that many people find uncomfortable to think about. The premise of this strip is that, based on the time you were born, you can make a guess at the circumstances under which you were conceived. Such guesses wouldn't be universally accurate, of course, but the notion that you could make a decent guess of the circumstances of someone's conception feels almost transgressive.  

Randall phrases his "predictions" as possibilities ("you may have") rather than declarations, acknowledging that it is a guess, and that it, unlike actual horoscopes, doesn't necessarily apply to everyone.  

The title text mentions that these predictions only apply to the northern hemisphere. This references both an issue with zodiac signs (as constellations are different in the southern hemisphere), and the fact that his 'predictions' are clearly based on an American context (many of the holiday references are exclusive to America). This idea is then lampooned by attributing it to the Coriolis effect (which has nothing to do with birth dates), and claiming that children in the southern hemisphere are born 9 months ''before'' conception (which is obviously impossible).  

!{{w|Astrological sign}} <br/> (English name)

!{{w|Birthday}} <br/> range

!Expected <br/> conception

!Horoscope prediction

|♈ {{w|Aries (astrology)|Aries}} <br/>(The Ram)

|March 21 – April 21

|June 28 – July 28

|In the US the {{w|Independence Day (United States)|Independence Day}} is celebrated on the 4th of July, and this is customarily celebrated with huge fireworks. Fireworks are a common metaphor for the culmination of sex (i.e. the orgasm), and are often the focus of social gatherings that might lead to conception.

|♉ {{w|Taurus (astrology)|Taurus}} <br/>(The Bull)

|April 20 – May 20  

|July 27 – August 27

|In most of the northern hemisphere there are many hot days in {{w|August}}. People in hot weather tend to wear less clothing, which might promote sexual attraction.

|♊ {{w|Gemini (astrology)|Gemini}} <br/>(The Twins)

|May 21 – June 21

|August 28 – September 28

|In the northern part of the northern hemisphere the {{w|autumn}} starts at the end of this time period, so the leaves will begin to change color.  

|♋ {{w|Cancer (astrology)|Cancer}} <br/>(The Crab)

|June 21 – July 21

|September 28 – October 28

|This period ends a few days before {{w|Halloween}}, so it possible that the people who conceived you (mom and dad) tried on their new costumes when they made you.  Roleplay, enhanced with costumes, can be a way to spice up a relationship and can lead to sex and procreation.

|♌ {{w|Leo (astrology)|Leo}} <br/>(The Lion)

|July 22 – August 23

|October 29 – November 30

|You may have been conceived during Thanksgiving

|{{w|Thanksgiving}} is celebrated in the US on the fourth Thursday of November.

|♍ {{w|Virgo (astrology)|Virgo}} <br/>(The Maiden)

|August 23 – September 22

|November 30 – December 29

|It is very common for {{w|Christmas}} songs to be played in the month of December.

|♎ {{w|Libra (astrology)|Libra}} <br/>(The Scales)

|September 22 – October 23

|December 29 – January 30

|You may have been conceived after a New Year's Eve party

|{{w|New Year's Eve}} always falls on December 31. Parties are commonly held to celebrate the new year, which create an ideal circumstance in which to either find a mate, or to celebrate with an existing partner. New Year's parties, by definition, are held late at night, it's common for alcohol to be consumed, and it's become a custom in the US to celebrate the moment of the New Year by kissing someone. All of these factors could contribute to sexual relations during or after such a party.  

|♏ {{w|Scorpio (astrology)|Scorpio}} <br/>(The Scorpion)

|October 23 – November 22

|January 30 – February&nbsp;29

|This period is during the coolest part and towards the end of the {{w|winter}} in the northern hemisphere. People may even be forced to stay at home due to snow. When people have nothing else to do [https://www.google.dk/search?q=babies+9+month+after+snowstorm&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&gws_rd=cr&ei=qzkuVcjAE4qsswGevoC4CQ many babies are born 9 months later]. Interestingly, this period also includes {{w|Valentine's Day}}, which is a famous celebration of love and romance, but isn't mentioned as a potential contributor to potential conceptions.  

|♐ {{w|Sagittarius (astrology)|Sagittarius}} <br/>(The Archer)

|November 22 – December 21

|February 29 – March 28

|You may have been conceived during March Madness

|Originally {{w|European hare#Mating and reproduction|March madness}} referred to the early part of the mating season for the {{w|European Hare}}, in which females fight off male suitors. Today, in a US context, this is an {{w|NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Championship|American college Basketball tournament}} that started in 1939 and is mainly held in March. It is even covered on TV under the name {{w|NCAA March Madness (CBS/Turner)|NCAA March Madness}}.

|♑ {{w|Capricorn (astrology)|Capricorn}} <br/>(The Goat)

|December 22 – January 19

|March 29 – April 28

|{{w|Easter}} falls between {{w|List of dates for Easter#Earliest Easter|March 22}} and {{w|List of dates for Easter#Latest Easter|April 25}} so most Easter celebrations, (and therefore most {{w|Egg hunt|Easter Egg hunts}}) will occur during this period. Egg hunts are typically activities for children, in which adults hide eggs and treats and children are encouraged to search for them. While Easter is traditionally associated with fertility symbolism, the holiday itself isn't generally associated with notions of romance or sex, making the concept of a "sexy Easter Egg hunt" rather unexpected. It may be playing with ability of people to turn nearly any occasion sexual, with enough creativity.  

|♒ {{w|Aquarius (astrology)|Aquarius}} <br/>(The&nbsp;Water&nbsp;Carrier)

|January&nbsp;20 – February&nbsp;18

|April 27 – May 25

|You may have been conceived on Mother's Day

|{{w|Mother's Day}} in the USA, and some other countries, is on the second Sunday in May, between 8 and 14 May. It's traditional for mothers to receive special recognition and affection on this holiday, and such attention from their partners could potentially lead to sex. (Such recognition generally only happens if a woman is already a mother, which would imply that the person must have older siblings).  

|♓ {{w|Pisces (astrology)|Pisces}} <br/>(The Fish)

|February&nbsp;19 – March&nbsp;20

|May 25 – June 27

|June is widely reported as the [http://www.statista.com/statistics/241231/percentage-of-us-weddings-by-month/ most popular month for weddings in the United States], likely due to a preference for being married in warm weather (particularly if the wedding takes place outdoors). A child might be conceived on their parents' wedding night, but weddings are often large social gatherings, and are generally built around a celebration of love, which can prime people with a romantic mindset. A married or dating couple attending a wedding might might feel particularly amorous, and single people might use the opportunity to spark new relationships. the specific phrase "'''at''' someone's wedding" implies a couple so overcome with love and/or lust they can't even wait until they've left the event.  

! Aries •

! Taurus •

! Gemini •

! Cancer •

! Leo •

! Virgo •

! Libra •

| You may have been conceived after a New Year's Eve party

! Scorpio •

! Sagittarius •

! Capricorn •

! Aquarius •

! Pisces •

[[Category:Charts]]