Editing 1681: Laser Products

This comic takes three laser-based technologies - laser eye surgery, laserjet printers, and laser hair removal - and conflates them, with humorous results. These are illustrated through reviews by users of the resulting combinations. For the original combinations, the reviews are highly positive. For the new combinations, most are negative, because most of these new "technologies" are ill-conceived and possibly harmful.

'''Laser eye surgery''' gets a positive review, since it has successfully corrected the reviewer's vision, no longer requiring them to use glasses. However, '''laser eye removal''' would be very painful, and thus the review is negative, stating that the reviewer had read the description incorrectly, likely believing it to be one of the real combinations on the chart. This is not the first time laser eye removal has been mentioned, see the lower right part in the [[1619: Watson Medical Algorithm]] chart. '''Laser eye printer''' refers to printing on (or possibly ''of'') an eyeball, which gets an "Eww" response.

'''Laser jet surgery''' makes the reviewer nervous, as performing maintenance on a jet with lasers is potentially dangerous and could easily be done incorrectly. {{Citation needed}} Alternatively, laser jet surgery could mean laser surgery done on a human from a jet aircraft with a laser mounted to it (unspecified whether the human being operated on is aboard that aircraft as well, another aircraft, or on land: in any case, not a safe idea). The ambiguity of the phrase may contribute to the person's concern.  '''Laser jet removal''' implies the destruction of jets with lasers, which works, but angers the Federal Aviation Administration, and probably resulted in legal consequences for the reviewer. '''Laserjet printing''' gets a positive review, as it is legitimate printing technology that works well for the reviewer.

The Laser Jet Removal may refer to [https://www.faa.gov/about/initiatives/lasers/ the real FAA concern] of the many incidents [http://www.laserpointersafety.com/laser-hazards_aircraft/laser-hazards_aircraft.html of people using laser pointers] against aircrafts.

'''Laser hair surgery''' is rated neutrally, with the reviewer pointing out that they consider the phrase to be bizarre and they note that the using a laser to cut hair results in a smell of burning hair. '''Laser hair removal''' is reviewed well, as it is a real process that effectively removes unwanted hair. '''Laser hair printer''' is negatively reviewed for being disgusting, the printer jamming, and the machine being unable to stop printing the hair.  

The title text expands on the laser hair printer from the last entrance, displaying standard printer error messages, replacing "paper" with "hair". It also replaces "ink" with "color-safe conditioner".  

===Laser eye surgery===

LASIK, one of the more common laser eye surgeries, works by cutting open the cornea and ablating a small amount of the lens.  Lasers are used for both steps. This, or equivalent, is the referenced surgery.  There are other laser eye surgeries for various other conditions besides near- and far-sightedness.

LaserJet is a brand name used by Hewlett Packard (HP) for its line of laser printers.

Laser printing is an electrostatic digital printing process. It produces high-quality text and graphics (and moderate-quality photographs) by repeatedly passing a laser beam back and forth over a negatively charged cylinder called a "drum" to define a differentially-charged image. The drum then selectively collects electrically charged powdered ink (toner), and transfers the image to paper, which is then heated in order to permanently fuse the text and/or imagery. As with digital photocopiers and multifunction/all-in-one inkjet printers, laser printers employ a xerographic printing process. However, laser printing differs from analog photocopiers in that the image is produced by the direct scanning of the medium across the printer's photoreceptor. This enables laser printing to copy images more quickly than most photocopiers.

 

===Laser hair removal===

 

Laser hair removal is the process of removing unwanted hair by means of exposure to pulses of laser light that destroy the hair follicle. It had been performed experimentally for about twenty years before becoming commercially available in the mid-1990s. One of the first published articles describing laser hair removal was authored by the group at Massachusetts General Hospital in 1998.The efficacy of laser hair removal is now generally accepted in the dermatology community,[citation needed] and laser hair removal is widely practiced in clinics, and even in homes using devices designed and priced for consumer self-treatment. Many reviews of laser hair removal methods, safety, and efficacy have been published in the dermatology literature.

 

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laser_Weapon_System Laser Jet Removal] (Although it's primarily meant to be used against jet ''missiles'' not jet planes (as the FAA quip suggests)

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