Editing 2661: Age Milestone Privileges

{{comic
| number    = 2661
| date      = August 19, 2022
| title     = Age Milestone Privileges
| image     = age_milestone_privileges.png
| titletext = If you reach 122, you get complete unrevertible editorial control over Jeanne Calment's Wikipedia article.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BABY GOD-EMPRESS MAKING THE PRESIDENT'S LETTER R-RATED - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is a list of "age milestones" in the United States. As usual for Randall, he has added many fictional entries to supplement some real life ones.

{| class="wikitable"
! Age || Privilege || Description
|-
| 16 || Drive || Legal driving age varies by state in the US, but 16 is the lowest age to be able to qualify for a learner's permit.
|-
| 17 || Attend R-Rated movies Alone ||In the US, the Motion Picture Association assigns {{w|Motion_Picture_Association_film_rating_system|ratings}} to movies based on whether content in said movie is generally acceptable to present to minors. A rating of "R" is supposed to prohibit viewing by minors under 17 years of age unless a parent or guardian accompanies them.
|-
| 18 || Vote || Twenty-sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution prevents a minimum age of voting from being set above eighteen but does not preclude a minimum age below eighteen. The vast majority of states, but not all, use eighteen years as the minimum age for voting.
|-
| 21 || Buy Alcohol || In the US, the legal drinking age is 21 years, although other countries have a lower drinking age. For example, in Japan the legal age to drink is 20; whilst in the UK a person of 16 may drink (but not buy) alcohol (but not spirits) in a pub (but not the street). 
|-
| 25 || Rent a car || Car rental companies charge higher rates for underage drivers; traditionally the minimum age is 25.
|-`e
| 30 || Run for Senate || This entry is incorrect: one must be at least 30 years old in order to ''become'' Senator, not ''run'' for Senate. Joe Biden was 29 years old when he was first elected to Senate but turned 30 before being sworn in.
|-
| 32 || Rent a Senator's Car || This is the first joke entry in the table. For one thing, most Senators do not rent out their cars, which they probably use regularly because they have jobs{{citation needed}} and typically don't sleep in the Capitol Building,{{citation needed}} to random strangers.{{citation needed}}
|-
| 35 || Run for president || In the US a person must be at least 35 years old to be eligible to the Office of President.
|-
| 40 || Rent a flying car ||
|-
| 45 || Learn about the God-empress || Obviously, the god-empress does not actually exist because this comic is visible to people under 45 years old.{{citation needed}}. According to [[1413]], she will be public knowledge by 2040 anyway.
|-
| 50 || Join AARP || Full AARP (formerly called the American Association of Retired Persons) membership is available to anyone age 50 and over. {{w|AARP}}
|-
| 50 || Get a shingles vaccine || At the time of the comic, the [https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/shingles/public/shingrix/index.html CDC recommended] that adults 50 years and older get the shingles vaccine called Shingrix (this line was not in the original version of the comic, corrected later)
|-
| 52 || Click to skip captchas ||
|-
| 55 || Vote for God-empress ||
|-
| 62 || $80 national parks lifetime pass || https://www.nps.gov/planyourvisit/passes.htm
|-
| 65 || Eligible for Medicare ||
|-
| 67 || Collect Social Security ||
|-
| 68 || See "Skip ads" button on live tv || 68 refers to a "Skip ads" button on live TV. Some DVRs and streaming applications have a feature to skip over commercial breaks in recorded programs, but this could not be available in live TV, since it would require jumping forward in time. Time travel is currently impossible.{{citation needed}} ||
|-
| 70 || Run for God-empress || The name suggests that this would also only be available to women.
|-
| 75 || Ride any animal in a national park || The National Parks Service probably could institute this relatively safely because most people over 75 would not be able to run fast enough to outrun/catch up to an animal and mount it{{citation needed}} and would not have the rebellious/risk-taking/adventurous streak that would incline them to try.{{citation needed}}
|-
| 80 || Eligible for Megacare || This is based off of becoming eligible for Medicare at age 65.
|-
| 85 || Click to toggle whether an ad is positive or negative about the product ||
|-
| 90 || Click to make any movie R-rated ||
|-
| 100 || Get a letter from the president || In the US (which other milestones, such as running for president starting at age 35, indicate is the country being referred to), you instead get congratulated by the weatherman on the {{w|Today Show}}. However, the United Kingdom is much closer; people there get a telegram from the Queen on their 100th birthday. 
|-
| 102 || (35+67) Collect a presidential pension || The idea behind this joke is that it is the minimum age of presidency plus the minimal age to collect Social Security. There are several reasons why this must be a joke. Two are that Social Security begins 67 years after the person was born, not 67 years after the person's job started, and that the United States government would not bother to set up such a system because the vast majority of people, including former presidents, do not live to 102 years old; in fact, as of 2022, no former United States president has ever lived to 102 years old.
|-
| 105 || Get a birthday card from the God-empress || Being a god-empress would be more important than being the leader of a single country. This would make the god-empresses's time more valuable, too valuable to be wasted on people who die between their 100th and 105th birthdays.
|-
| 111 || Leave your own birthday party early by putting on a magic ring || This is a reference to the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo leaves his eleventy-first birthday party (the Bilbo Baggins Farewell Birthday Party) by using the ring.
|-
| 118 || Vote 100 times || This would happen earlier because there would often be multiple elections per year, e.g., primaries, general elections, and possibly runoffs, and even if there were only one election each year, this would actually be the person's 101st election, at least if the election were held at the same time of each year. If the sole election of each year were held at a different time of each year, someone who voted in every election would vote for the 100th time at either 116, 117, or 118.
|-
| 120 || Collect the pensions of all elected officials ||
|-
| 125 || Drink alcohol in an R-rated movie while getting a shingles vaccine from the president || This entry apparently references four earlier milestones (attending an R-rated movie, drinking alcohol, becoming President, and getting the shingles vaccine) whose corresponding ages (17, 21, 35, and 50) sum to 123. While not exactly 125, this may have contributed to the inspiration or age selection of this milestone. 
|-
| 128 || Age rolls over, become a baby again || 128 is a reference to computers because it is a power of two (specifically to the power of seven)—though 128 would become either -128 or -0 (depending upon implementation) in signed 8-bit, which means you would have a weird experience of your next phase of life. For unsigned integers, the correct rollback number would be 256. However, maybe the system uses 7 bits, analogously to ASCII, perhaps because it has never needed an eighth bit. Computers using such systems would have a Y2K-analogous bug once someone reached 128 years old, where they would think that that person is a baby, but that has not happened yet.

|}



The title text mentions {{w|Jeanne Calment}}, who holds the record for the oldest person ever (there are biblical references to older people, such as {{w|Methuselah}}, who supposedly lived to 969, but their ages haven't been verified); she reportedly was age 122 when the died in 1997. Randall claims that if you match her age you get editorial control over her Wikipedia page. Not there's some controversy whether Calment actually claimed her mother's records (including birth certificate) as her own, and "editing wars" have been fought over her article. However, if anyone managed to exceed her age, presumably they would get their own page (albeit that they should not be encouraged to {{w|Wikipedia:Editing Your Own Page|edit it}} themselves) and hers would cease to be as interesting, although that might depend on what use is made of the unparalleled editorial control now granted.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

<big>Age Milestones</big><br>
and associated privileges

16&nbsp; Drive<br>
17&nbsp; Attend R-rated movies alone<br>
18&nbsp; Vote<br>
21&nbsp; Buy alcohol<br>
25&nbsp; Rent a car<br>
32&nbsp; Run for senate<br>
35&nbsp; Run for president<br>
40&nbsp; Rent a flying car<br>
45&nbsp; Learn about the God-Empress<br>
50&nbsp; Join AARP<br>
50&nbsp; Get a shingles vaccine<br>
52&nbsp; Click to skip captchas<br>
55&nbsp; Vote for God-Empress<br>
62&nbsp; $80 National parks lifetime pass<br>
65&nbsp; Eligible for Medicare<br>
67&nbsp; Collect Social Security<br>
68&nbsp; See "Skip Ads" button on live TV<br>
70&nbsp; Run for God-Empress<br>
75&nbsp; Ride any animal in a national park<br>
80&nbsp; Eligible for MegaCare<br>
85&nbsp; Click to toggle whether any ad is positive or negative about the product<br>
90&nbsp; Click to make any movie R-rated<br>
100&nbsp; Get a letter from the president<br>
102&nbsp; (35+67) Collect a presidential pension<br>
105&nbsp; Get a birthday card from the God-Empress<br>
111&nbsp; Leave your own birthday party early by putting on a magic ring<br>
118&nbsp; Vote 100 times<br>
120&nbsp; Collect the pensions of all elected officials<br>
125&nbsp; Drink alcohol in an R-rated movie while getting a shingles vaccine from the president<br>
128&nbsp; Age rolls over, become a baby again

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] <!-- Jeanne Calment -->
[[Category:Wikipedia]]